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App\Entity\Entry {#1380
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1838 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1896 …}
+image: null
+domain: App\Entity\Domain {#278 …}
+slug: "Fellow-pirates-what-are-some-underrated-websites-and-softwares-that"
+title: "Fellow pirates, what are some underrated websites and softwares that more people should be using"
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date: 2023-07-25 04:52:42.0 +02:00
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+comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1888 …}
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+reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2473 …}
+favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1500 …}
+notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1530 …}
+badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1536 …}
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-id: 31842
-titleTs: "'fellow':1 'peopl':12 'pirat':2 'softwar':9 'underr':6 'use':15 'websit':7"
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+apId: "https://lemmy.world/post/2121418"
+editedAt: null
+createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1690253562 {#1887
date: 2023-07-25 04:52:42.0 +02:00
}
} |
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App\Entity\Entry {#1380
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1838 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1896 …}
+image: null
+domain: App\Entity\Domain {#278 …}
+slug: "Fellow-pirates-what-are-some-underrated-websites-and-softwares-that"
+title: "Fellow pirates, what are some underrated websites and softwares that more people should be using"
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+apId: "https://lemmy.world/post/2121418"
+editedAt: null
+createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1690253562 {#1887
date: 2023-07-25 04:52:42.0 +02:00
}
} |
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App\Entity\Entry {#1380
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1838 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1896 …}
+image: null
+domain: App\Entity\Domain {#278 …}
+slug: "Fellow-pirates-what-are-some-underrated-websites-and-softwares-that"
+title: "Fellow pirates, what are some underrated websites and softwares that more people should be using"
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+body: null
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+editedAt: null
+createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1690253562 {#1887
date: 2023-07-25 04:52:42.0 +02:00
}
} |
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6 |
DENIED
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moderate
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1517
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1623 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1896 …}
+image: null
+domain: App\Entity\Domain {#278 …}
+slug: "Free-In-flight-WiFi-and-Internet-Tested-Southwest-Airlines-US"
+title: "Free In-flight WiFi and Internet (Tested: Southwest Airlines US)"
+url: null
+body: """
Not your normal kind of piracy, I know, but thought some would be interested.\n
\n
On a recent flight I was screwing around on my phone while connected to Southwest’s WiFi. Southwest doesn’t have traditional In-flight entertainment, instead offering movies and shows through a local LAN server on their WiFi for free. To get Internet access you load the site and pay $8usd using a CC, and then they’ll unblock your device from the WAN.\n
\n
Here’s the fun part, for the LOLs I tried accessing my various VPNs and Proxies, including Google’s, not expecting much. I’ve known of various tricks involving setting up a VPN or SSH on a DNS port or similar to try and get past web filters, but I’ve never been bothered enough to go through the trouble. But thinking of that, I decided to give Cloudflare’s [1.1.1.1 DNS app](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.cloudflare.onedotonedotonedotone) a try, since while its kinda a VPN, it does some things differently since their goal isn’t to give you a full VPN on their free plan, just improve your DNS and routing performance. But after waiting a long few seconds it amazingly said connected. At first I thought it was a fluke, thinking its connected but not actually working, but after doing a random Google search I realized it was actually somehow forwarding my packets to the WAN proper. I was ***FREE!***\n
\n
Though I should dampen expectations a bit. While it’s definitely full net access, it’s slower than molasses. Whatever route Cf is maneuvering packets through, it’s not a fast one. Random access would be at best in the three digit Kbps range, with sustained sometimes spiking into the 1-2Mbps, and latency was measured in Seconds, not Milliseconds. Netflix refused to load the detail pages for movies and shows, and YouTube failed to load videos whether streamed or trying to download. I was able to get a 240p YT video to download with Youtube-DL/yt-dlp though.\n
\n
And just to make sure it wasn’t just the plane’s connection that was slow, I checked with a seatmate that had paid the $8 for Internet access, and their experience was definitely faster than mine, loading videos with ease.\n
\n
So while you can browse the net, read some articles, and chat on Mastodon and Lemmy, patience is a virtue. But it’s way better than nothing, and great way to just check a few things in the air without dropping the $8.\n
\n
YMMV with other airlines, but it’s worth a shot.\n
\n
Update: Just did another flight and this time didn’t have success. The in-flight Wifi system on this flight was older though, with the old 2D flight tracker, and all the VOD content was broken too, so the Internet was probably just busted.
"""
+type: "article"
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date: 2023-07-25 04:16:26.0 +02:00
}
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+favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1710 …}
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+editedAt: null
+createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1690249470 {#1533
date: 2023-07-25 03:44:30.0 +02:00
}
} |
|
Show voter details
|
7 |
DENIED
|
edit
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1517
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1623 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1896 …}
+image: null
+domain: App\Entity\Domain {#278 …}
+slug: "Free-In-flight-WiFi-and-Internet-Tested-Southwest-Airlines-US"
+title: "Free In-flight WiFi and Internet (Tested: Southwest Airlines US)"
+url: null
+body: """
Not your normal kind of piracy, I know, but thought some would be interested.\n
\n
On a recent flight I was screwing around on my phone while connected to Southwest’s WiFi. Southwest doesn’t have traditional In-flight entertainment, instead offering movies and shows through a local LAN server on their WiFi for free. To get Internet access you load the site and pay $8usd using a CC, and then they’ll unblock your device from the WAN.\n
\n
Here’s the fun part, for the LOLs I tried accessing my various VPNs and Proxies, including Google’s, not expecting much. I’ve known of various tricks involving setting up a VPN or SSH on a DNS port or similar to try and get past web filters, but I’ve never been bothered enough to go through the trouble. But thinking of that, I decided to give Cloudflare’s [1.1.1.1 DNS app](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.cloudflare.onedotonedotonedotone) a try, since while its kinda a VPN, it does some things differently since their goal isn’t to give you a full VPN on their free plan, just improve your DNS and routing performance. But after waiting a long few seconds it amazingly said connected. At first I thought it was a fluke, thinking its connected but not actually working, but after doing a random Google search I realized it was actually somehow forwarding my packets to the WAN proper. I was ***FREE!***\n
\n
Though I should dampen expectations a bit. While it’s definitely full net access, it’s slower than molasses. Whatever route Cf is maneuvering packets through, it’s not a fast one. Random access would be at best in the three digit Kbps range, with sustained sometimes spiking into the 1-2Mbps, and latency was measured in Seconds, not Milliseconds. Netflix refused to load the detail pages for movies and shows, and YouTube failed to load videos whether streamed or trying to download. I was able to get a 240p YT video to download with Youtube-DL/yt-dlp though.\n
\n
And just to make sure it wasn’t just the plane’s connection that was slow, I checked with a seatmate that had paid the $8 for Internet access, and their experience was definitely faster than mine, loading videos with ease.\n
\n
So while you can browse the net, read some articles, and chat on Mastodon and Lemmy, patience is a virtue. But it’s way better than nothing, and great way to just check a few things in the air without dropping the $8.\n
\n
YMMV with other airlines, but it’s worth a shot.\n
\n
Update: Just did another flight and this time didn’t have success. The in-flight Wifi system on this flight was older though, with the old 2D flight tracker, and all the VOD content was broken too, so the Internet was probably just busted.
"""
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date: 2023-07-25 04:16:26.0 +02:00
}
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+editedAt: null
+createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1690249470 {#1533
date: 2023-07-25 03:44:30.0 +02:00
}
} |
|
Show voter details
|
8 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1517
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1623 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1896 …}
+image: null
+domain: App\Entity\Domain {#278 …}
+slug: "Free-In-flight-WiFi-and-Internet-Tested-Southwest-Airlines-US"
+title: "Free In-flight WiFi and Internet (Tested: Southwest Airlines US)"
+url: null
+body: """
Not your normal kind of piracy, I know, but thought some would be interested.\n
\n
On a recent flight I was screwing around on my phone while connected to Southwest’s WiFi. Southwest doesn’t have traditional In-flight entertainment, instead offering movies and shows through a local LAN server on their WiFi for free. To get Internet access you load the site and pay $8usd using a CC, and then they’ll unblock your device from the WAN.\n
\n
Here’s the fun part, for the LOLs I tried accessing my various VPNs and Proxies, including Google’s, not expecting much. I’ve known of various tricks involving setting up a VPN or SSH on a DNS port or similar to try and get past web filters, but I’ve never been bothered enough to go through the trouble. But thinking of that, I decided to give Cloudflare’s [1.1.1.1 DNS app](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.cloudflare.onedotonedotonedotone) a try, since while its kinda a VPN, it does some things differently since their goal isn’t to give you a full VPN on their free plan, just improve your DNS and routing performance. But after waiting a long few seconds it amazingly said connected. At first I thought it was a fluke, thinking its connected but not actually working, but after doing a random Google search I realized it was actually somehow forwarding my packets to the WAN proper. I was ***FREE!***\n
\n
Though I should dampen expectations a bit. While it’s definitely full net access, it’s slower than molasses. Whatever route Cf is maneuvering packets through, it’s not a fast one. Random access would be at best in the three digit Kbps range, with sustained sometimes spiking into the 1-2Mbps, and latency was measured in Seconds, not Milliseconds. Netflix refused to load the detail pages for movies and shows, and YouTube failed to load videos whether streamed or trying to download. I was able to get a 240p YT video to download with Youtube-DL/yt-dlp though.\n
\n
And just to make sure it wasn’t just the plane’s connection that was slow, I checked with a seatmate that had paid the $8 for Internet access, and their experience was definitely faster than mine, loading videos with ease.\n
\n
So while you can browse the net, read some articles, and chat on Mastodon and Lemmy, patience is a virtue. But it’s way better than nothing, and great way to just check a few things in the air without dropping the $8.\n
\n
YMMV with other airlines, but it’s worth a shot.\n
\n
Update: Just did another flight and this time didn’t have success. The in-flight Wifi system on this flight was older though, with the old 2D flight tracker, and all the VOD content was broken too, so the Internet was probably just busted.
"""
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date: 2023-07-25 04:16:26.0 +02:00
}
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9 |
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moderate
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App\Entity\Entry {#1753
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cross-posted from: [lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/1227654](https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/1227654)\n
\n
> That is, do you feel like your worth as a man is related to your practical utility?
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edit
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App\Entity\Entry {#1753
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cross-posted from: [lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/1227654](https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/1227654)\n
\n
> That is, do you feel like your worth as a man is related to your practical utility?
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moderate
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1753
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cross-posted from: [lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/1227654](https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/1227654)\n
\n
> That is, do you feel like your worth as a man is related to your practical utility?
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13 |
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14 |
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moderate
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1486
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edit
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1486
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Show voter details
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DENIED
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moderate
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1486
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1488 …}
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18 |
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moderate
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1754
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1755 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1760 …}
+image: null
+domain: App\Entity\Domain {#278 …}
+slug: "OOP-s-dog-ate-her-neighbour-s-drone-Neighbour-takes-her-to"
+title: "OOP's dog ate her neighbour's drone. Neighbour takes her to small claims court which ironically is the best thing that happens to OOP."
+url: null
+body: """
*This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
\n
[Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/5oa42v/dog_ate_my_neighbors_drone_am_i_liable_il/) by [u/DeadDrone999](/u/DeadDrone999) in [r/legaladvice](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice)\n
\n
Not sure what to do. Earlier today my neighbor came pounding on my door screaming obscenities and shouting at me. When I finally got him to stop yelling I found out that he was flying his drone in my backyard again and this time my dog finally managed to catch it and destroy it. He claims this was a $900 drone and I had to pay him right then and there. I refused and closed the door in his face. A couple hours later police showed up to retrieve the drone; it was still in my yard, but my dog completely ignored it once it stopped buzzing; and ask about the situation. The said neighbor called them stating that I refused him access to my yard to get it. That’s not true, he never asked.\n
\n
I’m worried the neighbor will try to press charges against me for destruction of property or sue me. Will he have any legal standing if this does go to court?\n
\n
He has a history of flying his drone low over my yard to tease my dog. I have asked him to stop several times, which he always refuses telling me that I don’t own the air above my yard. I have called the police to complain once before, he was doing “fly bys” over my dog and getting very close to hitting him. The police didn’t say he couldn’t fly it in my yard but did ask him to stop doing so in order to avoid conflict. That only seemed to egg him on.\n
\n
[Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/5wgevt/update_dog_ate_neighbors_drone/)\n
\n
A small update to my neighbor flying his drone in my backyard and attacking my dog:\n
\n
I was served a summons by a Sheriff’s Deputy, neighbor decided to take me to Small Claims over his drone. My MIL is a paralegal secretary, so I was able to get a free consultation with a lawyer where she works to ask some questions about what to bring and how to prepare. He seemed genuinely amused that my neighbor was even trying to sue. He also suggested I counter sue and how I could possibly add in more damages.\n
\n
He also told me that my neighbor and I technically live within 5 miles of an airport, and even though it doesn’t have a tower technically that falls under FAA regulations. I called the hotline from google and spoke to them about my neighbor’s hobby of flying out of line of sight, flying several thousand feet in the air, flying near an airport and made an inquiry into if he was registered to fly drones, saying he owned two very large drones (he already bought a new one, this one is almost 5’ across). I don’t know the weight of his, but it definitely is at least a few pounds. They took my information and have called me back once, so I know they’re investigating but don’t know anything else. Not sure if they’ll tell me anything anyways.\n
\n
I brought both police reports to court, as well as several photos of my backyard, photos of our shared 8’ high privacy fence, medical bills for my dog, and a few short videos I had of him doing fly bys over my dog in the past. His main argument to the judge was that I “maliciously installed a table to allow my dog to jump high enough to catch his drone, which I (somehow) trained him to do”. Which, yes I had recently bought a new picnic table, but only so I have somewhere to sit and eat outside. I argued that his flying was causing my dog anxiety and that’s what provoked it, and thanks to y’alls advice, that my dog could have potentially died from ingesting part of the drone or if the drone hit him. In the end, he now has to pay me just under $2,000 for various vet bills (xrays, dental exams, sedation, medication etc). He is also banned from flying over my property, and I installed trail cams front and back yards just in case. He seems pretty upset with me, so I wanted to be careful.\n
\n
The only thing that could make this better is if the FAA finds a reason to fine him or take away his drones.\n
\n
Editor’s note: Found this [dog tax](https://m.imgur.com/a/ZnLZn) while going through [OOP’s comments](https://www.reddit.com/r/ProRevenge/comments/5wi64w/comment/deacybu/).\n
\n
Reminder: I am not the original OP.\n
===================================\n
\n
*Disclaimer*\n
\n
*This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
\n
Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/v6zinz/oops_dog_ate_her_neighbours_drone_neighbour_takes/)
"""
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*This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
\n
[Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/5oa42v/dog_ate_my_neighbors_drone_am_i_liable_il/) by [u/DeadDrone999](/u/DeadDrone999) in [r/legaladvice](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice)\n
\n
Not sure what to do. Earlier today my neighbor came pounding on my door screaming obscenities and shouting at me. When I finally got him to stop yelling I found out that he was flying his drone in my backyard again and this time my dog finally managed to catch it and destroy it. He claims this was a $900 drone and I had to pay him right then and there. I refused and closed the door in his face. A couple hours later police showed up to retrieve the drone; it was still in my yard, but my dog completely ignored it once it stopped buzzing; and ask about the situation. The said neighbor called them stating that I refused him access to my yard to get it. That’s not true, he never asked.\n
\n
I’m worried the neighbor will try to press charges against me for destruction of property or sue me. Will he have any legal standing if this does go to court?\n
\n
He has a history of flying his drone low over my yard to tease my dog. I have asked him to stop several times, which he always refuses telling me that I don’t own the air above my yard. I have called the police to complain once before, he was doing “fly bys” over my dog and getting very close to hitting him. The police didn’t say he couldn’t fly it in my yard but did ask him to stop doing so in order to avoid conflict. That only seemed to egg him on.\n
\n
[Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/5wgevt/update_dog_ate_neighbors_drone/)\n
\n
A small update to my neighbor flying his drone in my backyard and attacking my dog:\n
\n
I was served a summons by a Sheriff’s Deputy, neighbor decided to take me to Small Claims over his drone. My MIL is a paralegal secretary, so I was able to get a free consultation with a lawyer where she works to ask some questions about what to bring and how to prepare. He seemed genuinely amused that my neighbor was even trying to sue. He also suggested I counter sue and how I could possibly add in more damages.\n
\n
He also told me that my neighbor and I technically live within 5 miles of an airport, and even though it doesn’t have a tower technically that falls under FAA regulations. I called the hotline from google and spoke to them about my neighbor’s hobby of flying out of line of sight, flying several thousand feet in the air, flying near an airport and made an inquiry into if he was registered to fly drones, saying he owned two very large drones (he already bought a new one, this one is almost 5’ across). I don’t know the weight of his, but it definitely is at least a few pounds. They took my information and have called me back once, so I know they’re investigating but don’t know anything else. Not sure if they’ll tell me anything anyways.\n
\n
I brought both police reports to court, as well as several photos of my backyard, photos of our shared 8’ high privacy fence, medical bills for my dog, and a few short videos I had of him doing fly bys over my dog in the past. His main argument to the judge was that I “maliciously installed a table to allow my dog to jump high enough to catch his drone, which I (somehow) trained him to do”. Which, yes I had recently bought a new picnic table, but only so I have somewhere to sit and eat outside. I argued that his flying was causing my dog anxiety and that’s what provoked it, and thanks to y’alls advice, that my dog could have potentially died from ingesting part of the drone or if the drone hit him. In the end, he now has to pay me just under $2,000 for various vet bills (xrays, dental exams, sedation, medication etc). He is also banned from flying over my property, and I installed trail cams front and back yards just in case. He seems pretty upset with me, so I wanted to be careful.\n
\n
The only thing that could make this better is if the FAA finds a reason to fine him or take away his drones.\n
\n
Editor’s note: Found this [dog tax](https://m.imgur.com/a/ZnLZn) while going through [OOP’s comments](https://www.reddit.com/r/ProRevenge/comments/5wi64w/comment/deacybu/).\n
\n
Reminder: I am not the original OP.\n
===================================\n
\n
*Disclaimer*\n
\n
*This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
\n
Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/v6zinz/oops_dog_ate_her_neighbours_drone_neighbour_takes/)
"""
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20 |
DENIED
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moderate
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App\Entity\Entry {#1754
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+slug: "OOP-s-dog-ate-her-neighbour-s-drone-Neighbour-takes-her-to"
+title: "OOP's dog ate her neighbour's drone. Neighbour takes her to small claims court which ironically is the best thing that happens to OOP."
+url: null
+body: """
*This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
\n
[Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/5oa42v/dog_ate_my_neighbors_drone_am_i_liable_il/) by [u/DeadDrone999](/u/DeadDrone999) in [r/legaladvice](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice)\n
\n
Not sure what to do. Earlier today my neighbor came pounding on my door screaming obscenities and shouting at me. When I finally got him to stop yelling I found out that he was flying his drone in my backyard again and this time my dog finally managed to catch it and destroy it. He claims this was a $900 drone and I had to pay him right then and there. I refused and closed the door in his face. A couple hours later police showed up to retrieve the drone; it was still in my yard, but my dog completely ignored it once it stopped buzzing; and ask about the situation. The said neighbor called them stating that I refused him access to my yard to get it. That’s not true, he never asked.\n
\n
I’m worried the neighbor will try to press charges against me for destruction of property or sue me. Will he have any legal standing if this does go to court?\n
\n
He has a history of flying his drone low over my yard to tease my dog. I have asked him to stop several times, which he always refuses telling me that I don’t own the air above my yard. I have called the police to complain once before, he was doing “fly bys” over my dog and getting very close to hitting him. The police didn’t say he couldn’t fly it in my yard but did ask him to stop doing so in order to avoid conflict. That only seemed to egg him on.\n
\n
[Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/5wgevt/update_dog_ate_neighbors_drone/)\n
\n
A small update to my neighbor flying his drone in my backyard and attacking my dog:\n
\n
I was served a summons by a Sheriff’s Deputy, neighbor decided to take me to Small Claims over his drone. My MIL is a paralegal secretary, so I was able to get a free consultation with a lawyer where she works to ask some questions about what to bring and how to prepare. He seemed genuinely amused that my neighbor was even trying to sue. He also suggested I counter sue and how I could possibly add in more damages.\n
\n
He also told me that my neighbor and I technically live within 5 miles of an airport, and even though it doesn’t have a tower technically that falls under FAA regulations. I called the hotline from google and spoke to them about my neighbor’s hobby of flying out of line of sight, flying several thousand feet in the air, flying near an airport and made an inquiry into if he was registered to fly drones, saying he owned two very large drones (he already bought a new one, this one is almost 5’ across). I don’t know the weight of his, but it definitely is at least a few pounds. They took my information and have called me back once, so I know they’re investigating but don’t know anything else. Not sure if they’ll tell me anything anyways.\n
\n
I brought both police reports to court, as well as several photos of my backyard, photos of our shared 8’ high privacy fence, medical bills for my dog, and a few short videos I had of him doing fly bys over my dog in the past. His main argument to the judge was that I “maliciously installed a table to allow my dog to jump high enough to catch his drone, which I (somehow) trained him to do”. Which, yes I had recently bought a new picnic table, but only so I have somewhere to sit and eat outside. I argued that his flying was causing my dog anxiety and that’s what provoked it, and thanks to y’alls advice, that my dog could have potentially died from ingesting part of the drone or if the drone hit him. In the end, he now has to pay me just under $2,000 for various vet bills (xrays, dental exams, sedation, medication etc). He is also banned from flying over my property, and I installed trail cams front and back yards just in case. He seems pretty upset with me, so I wanted to be careful.\n
\n
The only thing that could make this better is if the FAA finds a reason to fine him or take away his drones.\n
\n
Editor’s note: Found this [dog tax](https://m.imgur.com/a/ZnLZn) while going through [OOP’s comments](https://www.reddit.com/r/ProRevenge/comments/5wi64w/comment/deacybu/).\n
\n
Reminder: I am not the original OP.\n
===================================\n
\n
*Disclaimer*\n
\n
*This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
\n
Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/v6zinz/oops_dog_ate_her_neighbours_drone_neighbour_takes/)
"""
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App\Entity\Entry {#1773
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Hey there, dear community, I migrated here from reddit. I wanted to dabble in piracy (Udemy and Art-Courses) for a while, but never knew how to start + a VPN is quite pricey if I don‘t use it/ use it incorrectly.\n
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App\Entity\Entry {#1773
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Hey there, dear community, I migrated here from reddit. I wanted to dabble in piracy (Udemy and Art-Courses) for a while, but never knew how to start + a VPN is quite pricey if I don‘t use it/ use it incorrectly.\n
\n
I wanted to know if there are „beginner tutorials“ for MacOS (I‘m even new in this OS).\n
\n
I read the Megathread and it was kinda helpful for me not to barge in blindly, but I‘m the kind of person who needs a little handholding
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App\Entity\Entry {#1773
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Hey there, dear community, I migrated here from reddit. I wanted to dabble in piracy (Udemy and Art-Courses) for a while, but never knew how to start + a VPN is quite pricey if I don‘t use it/ use it incorrectly.\n
\n
I wanted to know if there are „beginner tutorials“ for MacOS (I‘m even new in this OS).\n
\n
I read the Megathread and it was kinda helpful for me not to barge in blindly, but I‘m the kind of person who needs a little handholding
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App\Entity\Entry {#1466
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Hello, I have a circuit that will need to return connected hardware to a default state if power is lost. The hardware can handle continuous voltage, so I’m thinking a simple solution would be to use a battery to provide that fallback power source. To avoid draining the battery, I’d like to connect it through a relay on the normally open contact and energize the relay directly from the main power supply on my board.\n
\n
Do I need to look for anything in particular to make sure the coil on the relay I choose can sustain constant voltage for potentially months at a time without damage? Or, is there another similarly low cost and simple solution you’d recommend?\n
\n
The circuit runs on 12VDC from a [Mean Well IRM-10-12 ([specification](https://www.meanwellusa.com/webapp/product/search.aspx?prod=IRM-10)), and the relays I have on hand are OMRON G5LE-14-CF 12VDC ([specification](https://omronfs.omron.com/en_US/ecb/products/pdf/en-g5le.pdf)). I don’t see anything on the relay documentation that specifies a maximum duty cycle.
"""
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Show voter details
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App\Entity\Entry {#1466
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Hello, I have a circuit that will need to return connected hardware to a default state if power is lost. The hardware can handle continuous voltage, so I’m thinking a simple solution would be to use a battery to provide that fallback power source. To avoid draining the battery, I’d like to connect it through a relay on the normally open contact and energize the relay directly from the main power supply on my board.\n
\n
Do I need to look for anything in particular to make sure the coil on the relay I choose can sustain constant voltage for potentially months at a time without damage? Or, is there another similarly low cost and simple solution you’d recommend?\n
\n
The circuit runs on 12VDC from a [Mean Well IRM-10-12 ([specification](https://www.meanwellusa.com/webapp/product/search.aspx?prod=IRM-10)), and the relays I have on hand are OMRON G5LE-14-CF 12VDC ([specification](https://omronfs.omron.com/en_US/ecb/products/pdf/en-g5le.pdf)). I don’t see anything on the relay documentation that specifies a maximum duty cycle.
"""
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Show voter details
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moderate
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App\Entity\Entry {#1466
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+slug: "Continuous-operation-of-a-general-purpose-relay"
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Hello, I have a circuit that will need to return connected hardware to a default state if power is lost. The hardware can handle continuous voltage, so I’m thinking a simple solution would be to use a battery to provide that fallback power source. To avoid draining the battery, I’d like to connect it through a relay on the normally open contact and energize the relay directly from the main power supply on my board.\n
\n
Do I need to look for anything in particular to make sure the coil on the relay I choose can sustain constant voltage for potentially months at a time without damage? Or, is there another similarly low cost and simple solution you’d recommend?\n
\n
The circuit runs on 12VDC from a [Mean Well IRM-10-12 ([specification](https://www.meanwellusa.com/webapp/product/search.aspx?prod=IRM-10)), and the relays I have on hand are OMRON G5LE-14-CF 12VDC ([specification](https://omronfs.omron.com/en_US/ecb/products/pdf/en-g5le.pdf)). I don’t see anything on the relay documentation that specifies a maximum duty cycle.
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moderate
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App\Entity\Entry {#1409
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edit
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App\Entity\Entry {#1409
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32 |
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moderate
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App\Entity\Entry {#1409
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34 |
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moderate
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App\Entity\Entry {#1414
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edit
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App\Entity\Entry {#1414
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36 |
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moderate
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1414
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37 |
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38 |
DENIED
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moderate
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1448
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Arr guys,\n
\n
Recently, I came across an app called [GameVault](https://gamevau.lt) on r/selfhosted and wanted to share it here. It’s like a customized Steam-like platform for games stored on your seedbox or fileserver you can run yourself on your server.\n
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If you have basic Linux-server knowledge, setting it up is not difficult. For complete beginners, there’s a guide on their website: <https://gamevau.lt/docs/intro>\n
\n
Side note: I’m **definitely not the dev**, and my username is just an anagram for that by coincidence.
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Show voter details
|
39 |
DENIED
|
edit
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App\Entity\Entry {#1448
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1457 …}
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+image: null
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Arr guys,\n
\n
Recently, I came across an app called [GameVault](https://gamevau.lt) on r/selfhosted and wanted to share it here. It’s like a customized Steam-like platform for games stored on your seedbox or fileserver you can run yourself on your server.\n
\n
You and your family can then use the Windows app to download them, track your playtime and so on. The idea is pretty neat and like Jellyfin/Kodi but for videogames.\n
\n
The developers cannot officially promote piracy, so they have a scary disclaimer on their page, but the app works perfectly fine and everything is formulated “tounge in cheek”-ish.\n
\n
Personally, I have about 25 “alternatively obtained” games on my seedbox-server by now, and it’s working fine for me and my kids.\n
\n
If you have basic Linux-server knowledge, setting it up is not difficult. For complete beginners, there’s a guide on their website: <https://gamevau.lt/docs/intro>\n
\n
Side note: I’m **definitely not the dev**, and my username is just an anagram for that by coincidence.
"""
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|
Show voter details
|
40 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1448
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Arr guys,\n
\n
Recently, I came across an app called [GameVault](https://gamevau.lt) on r/selfhosted and wanted to share it here. It’s like a customized Steam-like platform for games stored on your seedbox or fileserver you can run yourself on your server.\n
\n
You and your family can then use the Windows app to download them, track your playtime and so on. The idea is pretty neat and like Jellyfin/Kodi but for videogames.\n
\n
The developers cannot officially promote piracy, so they have a scary disclaimer on their page, but the app works perfectly fine and everything is formulated “tounge in cheek”-ish.\n
\n
Personally, I have about 25 “alternatively obtained” games on my seedbox-server by now, and it’s working fine for me and my kids.\n
\n
If you have basic Linux-server knowledge, setting it up is not difficult. For complete beginners, there’s a guide on their website: <https://gamevau.lt/docs/intro>\n
\n
Side note: I’m **definitely not the dev**, and my username is just an anagram for that by coincidence.
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Show voter details
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41 |
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ROLE_USER
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Show voter details
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42 |
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moderate
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1431
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The managers offices have windows that look out onto the main floor, I’m a training officer and sometime supervisor so although I look in the windows before I go in I’m generally “read in” on anything going on so If the doors closed I dont pay it much mind unless the boss is having a closed door with a staff member.\n
\n
I went to walk in the door and got it half open before the facility manager bodily slams it closed. He looks out the window and sees its me, and says “Learn to knock!” gives me some paperwork to chase up.\n
\n
3 minutes later I come back with paperwork, he is sitting there back to the window… with his coffee. I made eye contact with the other supervisors and went full cheshire cat. I waited till he lifted his cup and I closed fist pounded on that door like I had a fucking warrant.\n
\n
He came about 3 inches out of his chair and wore the whole cup.
"""
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Show voter details
|
43 |
DENIED
|
edit
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1431
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The managers offices have windows that look out onto the main floor, I’m a training officer and sometime supervisor so although I look in the windows before I go in I’m generally “read in” on anything going on so If the doors closed I dont pay it much mind unless the boss is having a closed door with a staff member.\n
\n
I went to walk in the door and got it half open before the facility manager bodily slams it closed. He looks out the window and sees its me, and says “Learn to knock!” gives me some paperwork to chase up.\n
\n
3 minutes later I come back with paperwork, he is sitting there back to the window… with his coffee. I made eye contact with the other supervisors and went full cheshire cat. I waited till he lifted his cup and I closed fist pounded on that door like I had a fucking warrant.\n
\n
He came about 3 inches out of his chair and wore the whole cup.
"""
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} |
|
Show voter details
|
44 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1431
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1440 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1438 …}
+image: null
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+body: """
The managers offices have windows that look out onto the main floor, I’m a training officer and sometime supervisor so although I look in the windows before I go in I’m generally “read in” on anything going on so If the doors closed I dont pay it much mind unless the boss is having a closed door with a staff member.\n
\n
I went to walk in the door and got it half open before the facility manager bodily slams it closed. He looks out the window and sees its me, and says “Learn to knock!” gives me some paperwork to chase up.\n
\n
3 minutes later I come back with paperwork, he is sitting there back to the window… with his coffee. I made eye contact with the other supervisors and went full cheshire cat. I waited till he lifted his cup and I closed fist pounded on that door like I had a fucking warrant.\n
\n
He came about 3 inches out of his chair and wore the whole cup.
"""
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} |
|
Show voter details
|
45 |
DENIED
|
ROLE_USER
|
null |
|
Show voter details
|
46 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1609
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1755 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1760 …}
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+domain: App\Entity\Domain {#278 …}
+slug: "My-29f-parents-ghosted-me-5-years-ago-after-my"
+title: "My (29f) parents ghosted me 5 years ago after my wedding and now reached out. What do I do?"
+url: null
+body: """
*This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
\n
**I am not OP.**\n
\n
Posted by [u/throwramotherwdid](/u/throwramotherwdid) on [r/relationship_advice](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice)\n
\n
[**Original**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/qbybwq/my_29f_parents_ghosted_me_5_years_ago_after_my/) *- October 20, 2021*\n
\n
TLDR; I’m married to my former boss. Parents did not take the marriage as well as I’d hoped and ignored me for 5 years, only to reach out when they saw a 5th anniversary facebook post that mentioned our kids. Do I let them back in, or do I ignore them?\n
\n
My husband (30m) used to be my boss. About 9 years ago I started working as his assistant. We spent about 2.5 years ignoring our mutual attraction until we gave in. We then went to HR, who reassigned me, and the whole thing was strictly above board from the time we began dating. I got pregnant about a year later, and my husband and I decided to just get married. While we’d only really been dating for about 1.5 years, we knew each other completely, loved each other, lived together, and there was a baby on the way. We knew how it would look, but I had to leave the company anyway due to problems with my new boss, so we didn’t anticipate this causing any issues, except with my parents.\n
\n
They (62m/57f) have always been overprotective, so I knew they wouldn’t like me dating my boss, and hadn’t told them, but I had to tell them if I wanted them at my wedding. We decided to be mostly honest with them, about how it was strictly professional until it wasn’t, how the second it got unprofessional we went to HR, how he had never taken advantage of me, but now we wanted to get married and we wanted them there. We did not mention the baby, because I felt that giving them that information in addition to the rest all at once would just break them. I was only about 4 months along when the wedding happened, so the bump was easily hidden by a flowy dress.\n
\n
The wedding itself went off without a hitch, and apart from my mother pulling me into the bathroom shortly before the ceremony to ask if I was sure about this, which I said I was, my parents seemed to take it well. The ceremony and reception were at 2 different venues, and we had to travel from one to the other, and my parents never arrived at the reception. I called them and got ignored, and then my brother called them and they told him that they were going home. I don’t remember the exact reason they gave but it amounted to them being tired and uncomfortable. I tried contacting them after the wedding, but found that I was blocked on everything except email, which I used to send them a long letter essentially saying that I’m an adult who made an adult choice and I hope they can respect that.\n
\n
5 years later, I have not heard from my parents since my wedding. My husband and I are not big on social media in general but I recently posted something for our 5th anniversary in which I mentioned our 2 kids and third on the way. Within a month of making this post, my parents left a voicemail saying they saw the post, and, having had no idea that they had grandchildren previously, now want to meet them. I haven’t responded and there have been a few follow ups since then asking why I haven’t.\n
\n
I don’t know what to do, but my gut instinct is that 5 years is too long, and it’s about the kids, not about them respecting my choices or relationship. However, I can’t help but feel that I’m being unfair, and my brother agrees, because I told them in my email that if they could learn to respect my choice and my marriage eventually, then we could talk, and now I’m retroactively applying a time limit.\n
\n
Edit: can’t find a way to work this in organically but my husband is not white. I am, as are my parents. I don’t think this is a race thing or that my parents are racist, and neither does my husband, and we don’t understand why they would want to meet our mixed race children if they were racist, but this element is still gnawing at me.\n
\n
Should I reach out to them? If I did, how would we go about rebuilding the relationship?\n
\n
[**Update**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/qdfsx0/update_i_29f_spoke_to_my_parents_who_ghosted_me_5/) *- October 22, 2021*\n
\n
TLDR; They’re racists.\n
\n
I asked to talk yesterday. We were on zoom within an hour. It was my parents and me and my husband. They asked to see the kids, and I said they could see them eventually, dependant on them earning our trust and convincing us they were going to be positive additions to the kids’ lives.\n
\n
They asked to start by reading me a letter that they claimed to have written on my wedding day. It said that they were uncomfortable with me marrying my former boss as they thought he took advantage of me, so they left between the wedding and reception to avoid a scene, but they wanted me to know they were here for me despite their issues with him. They added that they would have sent this to me the morning after my wedding, but then I sent my email about them needing to respect my choices, and they were so ashamed they couldn’t bring themselves to send theirs. Seeing my anniversary post made them realise how much they’ve missed in 5 years and they really don’t want to miss any more.\n
\n
I had some questions, like what the big deal was with me marrying my former boss, and they said that it just wasn’t what they had in mind for my wedding day and my future spouse. I asked why they even came to the wedding at all if they didn’t support the marriage, and my dad responded that he wanted to walk his daughter down the aisle as it was the only chance he’d get. The way it was phrased implied that they had intentionally only come to the wedding so he could give me away, and always planned to leave halfway, and because he said “my daughter”, and didn’t talk to me directly, it was pretty clear he was thinking about my older sister, who passed away. My husband caught that, too, and said that if they were talking about me, they should address me directly, then added that if they had planned to leave they should have told us as we wouldn’t have invited them, and the fact they waited 5 years to reach out was going to take more reasons than shame as, as a father, he didn’t understand how they could ignore their daughter for years, or only get back in touch when we had kids.\n
\n
My dad snapped that he wasn’t going to take this from a “cushi”, a slur meaning dark skinned. My mother immediately tried to run damage control but I ended the call. They have since messaged me several times trying to explain that calling my husband a racial slur wasn’t indicative of a racist attitude, and he wouldn’t have said that in front of the kids, so they should still get to meet them.\n
\n
I’ve spent 5 years wondering how they were so offended by me marrying my boss that it earned no contact for half a decade. Turns out they’re just racist. It’s almost nice to find out. If it was just the boss thing I would have sympathy for them and we might even be able to reconcile, but with this, it’s now just a question of if I’m going to knowingly expose my mixed race children to a couple of racists, which I am obviously not going to do.\n
\n
*Disclaimer*\n
\n
*This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
\n
Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/y8z737/my_29f_parents_ghosted_me_5_years_ago_after_my/)
"""
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+slug: "My-29f-parents-ghosted-me-5-years-ago-after-my"
+title: "My (29f) parents ghosted me 5 years ago after my wedding and now reached out. What do I do?"
+url: null
+body: """
*This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
\n
**I am not OP.**\n
\n
Posted by [u/throwramotherwdid](/u/throwramotherwdid) on [r/relationship_advice](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice)\n
\n
[**Original**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/qbybwq/my_29f_parents_ghosted_me_5_years_ago_after_my/) *- October 20, 2021*\n
\n
TLDR; I’m married to my former boss. Parents did not take the marriage as well as I’d hoped and ignored me for 5 years, only to reach out when they saw a 5th anniversary facebook post that mentioned our kids. Do I let them back in, or do I ignore them?\n
\n
My husband (30m) used to be my boss. About 9 years ago I started working as his assistant. We spent about 2.5 years ignoring our mutual attraction until we gave in. We then went to HR, who reassigned me, and the whole thing was strictly above board from the time we began dating. I got pregnant about a year later, and my husband and I decided to just get married. While we’d only really been dating for about 1.5 years, we knew each other completely, loved each other, lived together, and there was a baby on the way. We knew how it would look, but I had to leave the company anyway due to problems with my new boss, so we didn’t anticipate this causing any issues, except with my parents.\n
\n
They (62m/57f) have always been overprotective, so I knew they wouldn’t like me dating my boss, and hadn’t told them, but I had to tell them if I wanted them at my wedding. We decided to be mostly honest with them, about how it was strictly professional until it wasn’t, how the second it got unprofessional we went to HR, how he had never taken advantage of me, but now we wanted to get married and we wanted them there. We did not mention the baby, because I felt that giving them that information in addition to the rest all at once would just break them. I was only about 4 months along when the wedding happened, so the bump was easily hidden by a flowy dress.\n
\n
The wedding itself went off without a hitch, and apart from my mother pulling me into the bathroom shortly before the ceremony to ask if I was sure about this, which I said I was, my parents seemed to take it well. The ceremony and reception were at 2 different venues, and we had to travel from one to the other, and my parents never arrived at the reception. I called them and got ignored, and then my brother called them and they told him that they were going home. I don’t remember the exact reason they gave but it amounted to them being tired and uncomfortable. I tried contacting them after the wedding, but found that I was blocked on everything except email, which I used to send them a long letter essentially saying that I’m an adult who made an adult choice and I hope they can respect that.\n
\n
5 years later, I have not heard from my parents since my wedding. My husband and I are not big on social media in general but I recently posted something for our 5th anniversary in which I mentioned our 2 kids and third on the way. Within a month of making this post, my parents left a voicemail saying they saw the post, and, having had no idea that they had grandchildren previously, now want to meet them. I haven’t responded and there have been a few follow ups since then asking why I haven’t.\n
\n
I don’t know what to do, but my gut instinct is that 5 years is too long, and it’s about the kids, not about them respecting my choices or relationship. However, I can’t help but feel that I’m being unfair, and my brother agrees, because I told them in my email that if they could learn to respect my choice and my marriage eventually, then we could talk, and now I’m retroactively applying a time limit.\n
\n
Edit: can’t find a way to work this in organically but my husband is not white. I am, as are my parents. I don’t think this is a race thing or that my parents are racist, and neither does my husband, and we don’t understand why they would want to meet our mixed race children if they were racist, but this element is still gnawing at me.\n
\n
Should I reach out to them? If I did, how would we go about rebuilding the relationship?\n
\n
[**Update**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/qdfsx0/update_i_29f_spoke_to_my_parents_who_ghosted_me_5/) *- October 22, 2021*\n
\n
TLDR; They’re racists.\n
\n
I asked to talk yesterday. We were on zoom within an hour. It was my parents and me and my husband. They asked to see the kids, and I said they could see them eventually, dependant on them earning our trust and convincing us they were going to be positive additions to the kids’ lives.\n
\n
They asked to start by reading me a letter that they claimed to have written on my wedding day. It said that they were uncomfortable with me marrying my former boss as they thought he took advantage of me, so they left between the wedding and reception to avoid a scene, but they wanted me to know they were here for me despite their issues with him. They added that they would have sent this to me the morning after my wedding, but then I sent my email about them needing to respect my choices, and they were so ashamed they couldn’t bring themselves to send theirs. Seeing my anniversary post made them realise how much they’ve missed in 5 years and they really don’t want to miss any more.\n
\n
I had some questions, like what the big deal was with me marrying my former boss, and they said that it just wasn’t what they had in mind for my wedding day and my future spouse. I asked why they even came to the wedding at all if they didn’t support the marriage, and my dad responded that he wanted to walk his daughter down the aisle as it was the only chance he’d get. The way it was phrased implied that they had intentionally only come to the wedding so he could give me away, and always planned to leave halfway, and because he said “my daughter”, and didn’t talk to me directly, it was pretty clear he was thinking about my older sister, who passed away. My husband caught that, too, and said that if they were talking about me, they should address me directly, then added that if they had planned to leave they should have told us as we wouldn’t have invited them, and the fact they waited 5 years to reach out was going to take more reasons than shame as, as a father, he didn’t understand how they could ignore their daughter for years, or only get back in touch when we had kids.\n
\n
My dad snapped that he wasn’t going to take this from a “cushi”, a slur meaning dark skinned. My mother immediately tried to run damage control but I ended the call. They have since messaged me several times trying to explain that calling my husband a racial slur wasn’t indicative of a racist attitude, and he wouldn’t have said that in front of the kids, so they should still get to meet them.\n
\n
I’ve spent 5 years wondering how they were so offended by me marrying my boss that it earned no contact for half a decade. Turns out they’re just racist. It’s almost nice to find out. If it was just the boss thing I would have sympathy for them and we might even be able to reconcile, but with this, it’s now just a question of if I’m going to knowingly expose my mixed race children to a couple of racists, which I am obviously not going to do.\n
\n
*Disclaimer*\n
\n
*This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
\n
Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/y8z737/my_29f_parents_ghosted_me_5_years_ago_after_my/)
"""
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+title: "My (29f) parents ghosted me 5 years ago after my wedding and now reached out. What do I do?"
+url: null
+body: """
*This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
\n
**I am not OP.**\n
\n
Posted by [u/throwramotherwdid](/u/throwramotherwdid) on [r/relationship_advice](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice)\n
\n
[**Original**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/qbybwq/my_29f_parents_ghosted_me_5_years_ago_after_my/) *- October 20, 2021*\n
\n
TLDR; I’m married to my former boss. Parents did not take the marriage as well as I’d hoped and ignored me for 5 years, only to reach out when they saw a 5th anniversary facebook post that mentioned our kids. Do I let them back in, or do I ignore them?\n
\n
My husband (30m) used to be my boss. About 9 years ago I started working as his assistant. We spent about 2.5 years ignoring our mutual attraction until we gave in. We then went to HR, who reassigned me, and the whole thing was strictly above board from the time we began dating. I got pregnant about a year later, and my husband and I decided to just get married. While we’d only really been dating for about 1.5 years, we knew each other completely, loved each other, lived together, and there was a baby on the way. We knew how it would look, but I had to leave the company anyway due to problems with my new boss, so we didn’t anticipate this causing any issues, except with my parents.\n
\n
They (62m/57f) have always been overprotective, so I knew they wouldn’t like me dating my boss, and hadn’t told them, but I had to tell them if I wanted them at my wedding. We decided to be mostly honest with them, about how it was strictly professional until it wasn’t, how the second it got unprofessional we went to HR, how he had never taken advantage of me, but now we wanted to get married and we wanted them there. We did not mention the baby, because I felt that giving them that information in addition to the rest all at once would just break them. I was only about 4 months along when the wedding happened, so the bump was easily hidden by a flowy dress.\n
\n
The wedding itself went off without a hitch, and apart from my mother pulling me into the bathroom shortly before the ceremony to ask if I was sure about this, which I said I was, my parents seemed to take it well. The ceremony and reception were at 2 different venues, and we had to travel from one to the other, and my parents never arrived at the reception. I called them and got ignored, and then my brother called them and they told him that they were going home. I don’t remember the exact reason they gave but it amounted to them being tired and uncomfortable. I tried contacting them after the wedding, but found that I was blocked on everything except email, which I used to send them a long letter essentially saying that I’m an adult who made an adult choice and I hope they can respect that.\n
\n
5 years later, I have not heard from my parents since my wedding. My husband and I are not big on social media in general but I recently posted something for our 5th anniversary in which I mentioned our 2 kids and third on the way. Within a month of making this post, my parents left a voicemail saying they saw the post, and, having had no idea that they had grandchildren previously, now want to meet them. I haven’t responded and there have been a few follow ups since then asking why I haven’t.\n
\n
I don’t know what to do, but my gut instinct is that 5 years is too long, and it’s about the kids, not about them respecting my choices or relationship. However, I can’t help but feel that I’m being unfair, and my brother agrees, because I told them in my email that if they could learn to respect my choice and my marriage eventually, then we could talk, and now I’m retroactively applying a time limit.\n
\n
Edit: can’t find a way to work this in organically but my husband is not white. I am, as are my parents. I don’t think this is a race thing or that my parents are racist, and neither does my husband, and we don’t understand why they would want to meet our mixed race children if they were racist, but this element is still gnawing at me.\n
\n
Should I reach out to them? If I did, how would we go about rebuilding the relationship?\n
\n
[**Update**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/qdfsx0/update_i_29f_spoke_to_my_parents_who_ghosted_me_5/) *- October 22, 2021*\n
\n
TLDR; They’re racists.\n
\n
I asked to talk yesterday. We were on zoom within an hour. It was my parents and me and my husband. They asked to see the kids, and I said they could see them eventually, dependant on them earning our trust and convincing us they were going to be positive additions to the kids’ lives.\n
\n
They asked to start by reading me a letter that they claimed to have written on my wedding day. It said that they were uncomfortable with me marrying my former boss as they thought he took advantage of me, so they left between the wedding and reception to avoid a scene, but they wanted me to know they were here for me despite their issues with him. They added that they would have sent this to me the morning after my wedding, but then I sent my email about them needing to respect my choices, and they were so ashamed they couldn’t bring themselves to send theirs. Seeing my anniversary post made them realise how much they’ve missed in 5 years and they really don’t want to miss any more.\n
\n
I had some questions, like what the big deal was with me marrying my former boss, and they said that it just wasn’t what they had in mind for my wedding day and my future spouse. I asked why they even came to the wedding at all if they didn’t support the marriage, and my dad responded that he wanted to walk his daughter down the aisle as it was the only chance he’d get. The way it was phrased implied that they had intentionally only come to the wedding so he could give me away, and always planned to leave halfway, and because he said “my daughter”, and didn’t talk to me directly, it was pretty clear he was thinking about my older sister, who passed away. My husband caught that, too, and said that if they were talking about me, they should address me directly, then added that if they had planned to leave they should have told us as we wouldn’t have invited them, and the fact they waited 5 years to reach out was going to take more reasons than shame as, as a father, he didn’t understand how they could ignore their daughter for years, or only get back in touch when we had kids.\n
\n
My dad snapped that he wasn’t going to take this from a “cushi”, a slur meaning dark skinned. My mother immediately tried to run damage control but I ended the call. They have since messaged me several times trying to explain that calling my husband a racial slur wasn’t indicative of a racist attitude, and he wouldn’t have said that in front of the kids, so they should still get to meet them.\n
\n
I’ve spent 5 years wondering how they were so offended by me marrying my boss that it earned no contact for half a decade. Turns out they’re just racist. It’s almost nice to find out. If it was just the boss thing I would have sympathy for them and we might even be able to reconcile, but with this, it’s now just a question of if I’m going to knowingly expose my mixed race children to a couple of racists, which I am obviously not going to do.\n
\n
*Disclaimer*\n
\n
*This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
\n
Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/y8z737/my_29f_parents_ghosted_me_5_years_ago_after_my/)
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+title: "Annotations for *Star Trek: Strange New Worlds* 2x07: “Those Old Scientists” (SPOILERS)"
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The title comes from LD’s 1st Season finale, “No Small Parts”, when CMDR Jack Ransom, XO of the USS *Cerritos*, refers to the TOS era as “Those Old Scientists”.\n
\n
We start on Stardate 58460.1 in an animated segment. This places it in 2381, and sometime between LD 3x06: “Hear All, Trust Nothing” (58456.2) and LD 3x09: “Trusted Sources” (58496.1). 3x07 and 3x08 don’t have stardate references. The ship is doing a check on the Krulmuth-B portal, which has been dormant for 120 years - and if you do the calculations you can see where this is going.\n
\n
Boimler says the portal was discovered by Pike and the “second” *Enterprise* and refers to Una as “Numero Una” to Mariner’s annoyance. Rutherford talks about teleron radiation. I’m assuming it’s not a CC typo and it’s distinct from “thalaron radiation” (*Nemesis*).\n
\n
Tendi’s great-grandmother was on an Orion science vessel, and she claims the Orions were the ones who actually discovered the portal (which looks vaguely *Stargate*-like). Rutherford is wearing a holographic imager around his neck (last seen in LD: “Veritas” and of the type first seen in VOY: “Latent Image”).\n
\n
Rutherford picks up traces of horonium. Hōra is the Greek word for “time”, from which we get the word horology, the art of making clocks. Boimler says Starfleet used horonium in NX-class ships, because it was lightweight, durable and was the right shade of grey (Mariner refers to the Starfleet History Museum - it’s not clear if this is the same as the Fleet Museum from PIC).\n
\n
Boimler screams “Remember me!” as he gets sucked into the portal, in the way that Beverly Crusher is also almost sucked into one in TNG: “Remember Me”. The phrase is originally from Shakespeare, specifically *Hamlet* Act I, sc v when the Ghost says: “Adieu, adieu, adieu. Remember me,” as he exits. The line is repeated by Hamlet later in the scene.\n
\n
The title sequence for this episode is animated in the LD style, with the space beast from the LD titles now suckling on the back of the *Enterprise*. Now I want an animated model of the *Enterprise* to match my *Titan*. At the end when the title card comes up we see the outline of the cosmic koala next to the planet (LD: “Moist Vessel”).\n
\n
Pike’s log is stardated 2291.6. *Enterprise* is delivering a shipment of grain to a colony on Setlik II. In the future (c. 2347), the Setlik *III* colony would be the site of an infamous massacre during the Cardassian wars with the Federation (TNG: “The Wounded”).\n
\n
Una reports that Boimler’s delta is also a communicator, confirming once and for all that SNW’s deltas are not. Boimler has purple hair, like he does when animated. On awakening he calls out, “Computer end program,” thinking he’s on a holodeck. He refers to the ship’s S/COMS operating system as opposed to LCARS in his era.\n
\n
La’An is uniquely qualified to lecture on temporal protocols as she’s gone through the same experience (SNW: “Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow”). She talks about not making any attachments owing to the trauma she underwent when the alternate Jim Kirk died in her arms in the past. Boimler accidentally lets slip Worf’s name.\n
\n
Boimler waits in Pike’s office, as evidenced by the presence of the saddle and he calls out “Riker” as he mounts it with the Riker Maneuver (the popular explanation for the move is that Frakes suffered a back injury but although that injury did result in him doing the “Riker lean”, Frakes said in an interview that the chair maneuver was that he felt it was a cocky move suited to Riker, and no one stopped him so it stuck).\n
\n
Boimler asks if M’Benga is holding a classic TS-122 tricorder and M’Benga says it’s a TS-120. In the 24th Century, tricorders are of the TR series. Boimler theorizes that radioisotopes from the holographic imager set the portal off. Boimler is startled when Spock laughs.\n
\n
The ship is an Orion scout ship, technically first appearing in TOS: “Journey to Babel” as just a glowing blob, but redesigned as a more detailed CGI model for the remastered episode by Michael Okuda. A slight continuity contradiction arises: in “Babel” Spock doesn’t recognize the configuration of the scout ship when they encounter it then.\n
\n
Boimler says “NCC-1701 dash nothing,” referring to the future ships’ names in homage to the original and of course puzzling Una and La’An. He identifies Ortegas as a war hero, referring to her service in the Klingon War. Captain Harr Caras commands the Orion science vessel *D’Var*.\n
\n
I can’t feel that sorry for Boims having his chops busted, because I’d just love being paid attention to like that by Jess Bush and Melissa Navia. He says this is the “golden age of exploration”, echoing Pike’s words from the previous episode. He lets slip that Pike’s birthday is on Friday (on movie night) and is a holiday in the 24th Century.\n
\n
Chapel is rather devastated to learn that she’s not mentioned in books on Spock in the future. Boimler refers to Spock’s pet *sehlat* (TAS: “Yesteryear”). Ortegas calls Boimler “Future Boy”, a nickname Doc Brown applied to Marty McFly in *Back to the Future*.\n
\n
Turns out the grain Pike is carrying is trititicale. Its variant, quadrotriticale, would be central to the Federation’s efforts on Sherman’s Planet in TOS: “The Trouble with Tribbles”. Presumably it’s a three-lobed version as opposed to the four-lobed quadrotriticale. Triticale is a real life grain that writer David Gerrold based quadrotriticale on in “Tribbles”.\n
\n
Mariner uses up the last of the horonium in the portal, and Una says there’s hasn’t been a supply for a hundred years. Mariner says for all she knew Boimler could have been “stuck in a dystopian San Francisco in the middle of a riot”, referring to the Bell Riots of DS9: “Past Tense”. She finds young Spock hot, much like Jazdia Dax did to his slightly older counterpart in DS9: “Trials and Tribble-lations”.\n
\n
Boimler does the “Section 31 speed walk” when walking away from Mariner down the corridors (LD: “Envoys”), which he claimed conserved energy. Una wonders if Boimler’s poster is a “pin-up” poster, of which there are very many of Rebecca Romijn.\n
\n
Uhura says she’s 22 (the same age as Celia Rose Golding), which immediately makes this old chronologist’s mind start doing calculations. The official *Star Trek* website places her birth year as 2239, which would make the present year 2261, which sort of tracks (my estimate is between 2260-61).\n
\n
Mariner quotes Starfleet labor codes: section 48-Alpha-7: “Officers must take meal breaks at regular intervals”. She claims that she knows those that help her slack off. She makes Orion Hurricanes for Uhura and Ortegas, although they don’t have Orion *delaq*, which she says will mess them up. Uhura’s PADD shows her comparing the inscriptions on the portal to Bajoran and Cardassian script.\n
\n
Ortegas refers to Starbase Earhart, probably best remembered as housing the Bonestell Entertainment Facility where Jean-Luc Picard was stabbed by Nausicaans in 2337 (TNG: “Tapestry”). It also had a *dom-jot* table. Mariner and Tendi visited it in LD: “We’ll Always Have Tom Paris”. Mariner says Nausicaans are terrible at *dom-jot*, a billiard-type game, but still love to bet on it. Ortegas’ recognition of the letters leads Uhura to discover the language is a thousands-years old ancient Nausicaan dialect.\n
\n
Boimler seeks solace in Engineering. Pelia says there is nothing quite so soothing as a properly calibrated warp core, which Boimler would agree with as he’s often said in LD that warp cores are cool. Pelia’s quote is from Cary Grant, which implies she knew him.\n
\n
Mariner chides Boimler for shouting “Holy Q” because they hadn’t met him yet in the 23rd Century but qualifies it with “they had kind of a Trelane thing going on.” Fanon often states that Trelane (TOS: “The Squire of Gothos”) and Q are related because their MO is remarkably similar. This link was made explicit in the novels (*Q-Squared*). Mariner has met Q before (LD: “Veritas”).\n
\n
Boimler remarks how slow and quietly everyone talks in this era, in stark contrast to the high-speed and intense dialogue they use on the half-hour animated *Lower Decks*.\n
\n
Boimler once dressed up as Pike for Halloween, and had to contour his chin to fit. Pike confesses he and his father never got along, and that was never resolved. This year is the first year he’s older than his father when he died. He planned to fish on Setlik II’s ice moon with a bottle of whiskey and have an imaginary talk with his father.\n
\n
Pike refers to Archer’s *Enterprise*, the NX-01, which reminds Boimler that horonium was used in its construction (a little over a hundred years ago). Boimler talks about the NX-01’s grapplers (which La’An loves), the precursor to a ship’s tractor beam. Grapplers were also seen in SNW: “Life Us Where Suffering Cannot Reach”.\n
\n
Starfleet tradition is that every time a new ship is commissioned, construction starts with an old piece of the last ship that bore the name (which explains why Boimler called this the “second” *Enterprise*). Which means there’s a piece of horonium on the ship.\n
\n
The piece in question appears to be a gas cylinder. Ortegas says she’s a fan of Travis Mayweather, first pilot of the NX-01, and her middle school gym was named after him. Uhura mentions Hoshi Sato, who spoke 86 languages - Uhura wrote 3 papers on her at the Academy. I’m happy to see the NX-01 crew get the love they never quite got when the series was around.\n
\n
Mariner tells Una that Boimler’s pin-up of her is a recruitment poster and inspired Boimler to join Starfleet. Una is moved that they put “ad astra per aspera” on the poster, the Starfleet motto she quoted during her trial (SNW: “Ad Astra Per Aspera”).\n
\n
Captain Caras recognizes Tendi’s title “Mistress of the Winter Constellations” (“We’ll Always Have Tom Paris”) and says that he has an Astrea Tendi on his ship. Pike’s offer to give the Orion scientists credit also explains why Tendi tells Boimler that Orions discovered the portal. I wish we could have seen Nöel Wells in live action, though.\n
\n
Ransom calls “Numero Una” the hottest first officer in Starfleet history. Ransom is voiced by Jerry O’Connell, who is married to Rebecca Romijn. Mariner says Ransom sleeps face down “like a baby”.\n
\n
We are rewarded with an animated SNW epilogue, which is explained by them hallucinating after imbibing Orion Hurricanes with real *delaq*.
"""
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+slug: "Annotations-for-Star-Trek-Strange-New-Worlds-2x07-Those-Old"
+title: "Annotations for *Star Trek: Strange New Worlds* 2x07: “Those Old Scientists” (SPOILERS)"
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The title comes from LD’s 1st Season finale, “No Small Parts”, when CMDR Jack Ransom, XO of the USS *Cerritos*, refers to the TOS era as “Those Old Scientists”.\n
\n
We start on Stardate 58460.1 in an animated segment. This places it in 2381, and sometime between LD 3x06: “Hear All, Trust Nothing” (58456.2) and LD 3x09: “Trusted Sources” (58496.1). 3x07 and 3x08 don’t have stardate references. The ship is doing a check on the Krulmuth-B portal, which has been dormant for 120 years - and if you do the calculations you can see where this is going.\n
\n
Boimler says the portal was discovered by Pike and the “second” *Enterprise* and refers to Una as “Numero Una” to Mariner’s annoyance. Rutherford talks about teleron radiation. I’m assuming it’s not a CC typo and it’s distinct from “thalaron radiation” (*Nemesis*).\n
\n
Tendi’s great-grandmother was on an Orion science vessel, and she claims the Orions were the ones who actually discovered the portal (which looks vaguely *Stargate*-like). Rutherford is wearing a holographic imager around his neck (last seen in LD: “Veritas” and of the type first seen in VOY: “Latent Image”).\n
\n
Rutherford picks up traces of horonium. Hōra is the Greek word for “time”, from which we get the word horology, the art of making clocks. Boimler says Starfleet used horonium in NX-class ships, because it was lightweight, durable and was the right shade of grey (Mariner refers to the Starfleet History Museum - it’s not clear if this is the same as the Fleet Museum from PIC).\n
\n
Boimler screams “Remember me!” as he gets sucked into the portal, in the way that Beverly Crusher is also almost sucked into one in TNG: “Remember Me”. The phrase is originally from Shakespeare, specifically *Hamlet* Act I, sc v when the Ghost says: “Adieu, adieu, adieu. Remember me,” as he exits. The line is repeated by Hamlet later in the scene.\n
\n
The title sequence for this episode is animated in the LD style, with the space beast from the LD titles now suckling on the back of the *Enterprise*. Now I want an animated model of the *Enterprise* to match my *Titan*. At the end when the title card comes up we see the outline of the cosmic koala next to the planet (LD: “Moist Vessel”).\n
\n
Pike’s log is stardated 2291.6. *Enterprise* is delivering a shipment of grain to a colony on Setlik II. In the future (c. 2347), the Setlik *III* colony would be the site of an infamous massacre during the Cardassian wars with the Federation (TNG: “The Wounded”).\n
\n
Una reports that Boimler’s delta is also a communicator, confirming once and for all that SNW’s deltas are not. Boimler has purple hair, like he does when animated. On awakening he calls out, “Computer end program,” thinking he’s on a holodeck. He refers to the ship’s S/COMS operating system as opposed to LCARS in his era.\n
\n
La’An is uniquely qualified to lecture on temporal protocols as she’s gone through the same experience (SNW: “Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow”). She talks about not making any attachments owing to the trauma she underwent when the alternate Jim Kirk died in her arms in the past. Boimler accidentally lets slip Worf’s name.\n
\n
Boimler waits in Pike’s office, as evidenced by the presence of the saddle and he calls out “Riker” as he mounts it with the Riker Maneuver (the popular explanation for the move is that Frakes suffered a back injury but although that injury did result in him doing the “Riker lean”, Frakes said in an interview that the chair maneuver was that he felt it was a cocky move suited to Riker, and no one stopped him so it stuck).\n
\n
Boimler asks if M’Benga is holding a classic TS-122 tricorder and M’Benga says it’s a TS-120. In the 24th Century, tricorders are of the TR series. Boimler theorizes that radioisotopes from the holographic imager set the portal off. Boimler is startled when Spock laughs.\n
\n
The ship is an Orion scout ship, technically first appearing in TOS: “Journey to Babel” as just a glowing blob, but redesigned as a more detailed CGI model for the remastered episode by Michael Okuda. A slight continuity contradiction arises: in “Babel” Spock doesn’t recognize the configuration of the scout ship when they encounter it then.\n
\n
Boimler says “NCC-1701 dash nothing,” referring to the future ships’ names in homage to the original and of course puzzling Una and La’An. He identifies Ortegas as a war hero, referring to her service in the Klingon War. Captain Harr Caras commands the Orion science vessel *D’Var*.\n
\n
I can’t feel that sorry for Boims having his chops busted, because I’d just love being paid attention to like that by Jess Bush and Melissa Navia. He says this is the “golden age of exploration”, echoing Pike’s words from the previous episode. He lets slip that Pike’s birthday is on Friday (on movie night) and is a holiday in the 24th Century.\n
\n
Chapel is rather devastated to learn that she’s not mentioned in books on Spock in the future. Boimler refers to Spock’s pet *sehlat* (TAS: “Yesteryear”). Ortegas calls Boimler “Future Boy”, a nickname Doc Brown applied to Marty McFly in *Back to the Future*.\n
\n
Turns out the grain Pike is carrying is trititicale. Its variant, quadrotriticale, would be central to the Federation’s efforts on Sherman’s Planet in TOS: “The Trouble with Tribbles”. Presumably it’s a three-lobed version as opposed to the four-lobed quadrotriticale. Triticale is a real life grain that writer David Gerrold based quadrotriticale on in “Tribbles”.\n
\n
Mariner uses up the last of the horonium in the portal, and Una says there’s hasn’t been a supply for a hundred years. Mariner says for all she knew Boimler could have been “stuck in a dystopian San Francisco in the middle of a riot”, referring to the Bell Riots of DS9: “Past Tense”. She finds young Spock hot, much like Jazdia Dax did to his slightly older counterpart in DS9: “Trials and Tribble-lations”.\n
\n
Boimler does the “Section 31 speed walk” when walking away from Mariner down the corridors (LD: “Envoys”), which he claimed conserved energy. Una wonders if Boimler’s poster is a “pin-up” poster, of which there are very many of Rebecca Romijn.\n
\n
Uhura says she’s 22 (the same age as Celia Rose Golding), which immediately makes this old chronologist’s mind start doing calculations. The official *Star Trek* website places her birth year as 2239, which would make the present year 2261, which sort of tracks (my estimate is between 2260-61).\n
\n
Mariner quotes Starfleet labor codes: section 48-Alpha-7: “Officers must take meal breaks at regular intervals”. She claims that she knows those that help her slack off. She makes Orion Hurricanes for Uhura and Ortegas, although they don’t have Orion *delaq*, which she says will mess them up. Uhura’s PADD shows her comparing the inscriptions on the portal to Bajoran and Cardassian script.\n
\n
Ortegas refers to Starbase Earhart, probably best remembered as housing the Bonestell Entertainment Facility where Jean-Luc Picard was stabbed by Nausicaans in 2337 (TNG: “Tapestry”). It also had a *dom-jot* table. Mariner and Tendi visited it in LD: “We’ll Always Have Tom Paris”. Mariner says Nausicaans are terrible at *dom-jot*, a billiard-type game, but still love to bet on it. Ortegas’ recognition of the letters leads Uhura to discover the language is a thousands-years old ancient Nausicaan dialect.\n
\n
Boimler seeks solace in Engineering. Pelia says there is nothing quite so soothing as a properly calibrated warp core, which Boimler would agree with as he’s often said in LD that warp cores are cool. Pelia’s quote is from Cary Grant, which implies she knew him.\n
\n
Mariner chides Boimler for shouting “Holy Q” because they hadn’t met him yet in the 23rd Century but qualifies it with “they had kind of a Trelane thing going on.” Fanon often states that Trelane (TOS: “The Squire of Gothos”) and Q are related because their MO is remarkably similar. This link was made explicit in the novels (*Q-Squared*). Mariner has met Q before (LD: “Veritas”).\n
\n
Boimler remarks how slow and quietly everyone talks in this era, in stark contrast to the high-speed and intense dialogue they use on the half-hour animated *Lower Decks*.\n
\n
Boimler once dressed up as Pike for Halloween, and had to contour his chin to fit. Pike confesses he and his father never got along, and that was never resolved. This year is the first year he’s older than his father when he died. He planned to fish on Setlik II’s ice moon with a bottle of whiskey and have an imaginary talk with his father.\n
\n
Pike refers to Archer’s *Enterprise*, the NX-01, which reminds Boimler that horonium was used in its construction (a little over a hundred years ago). Boimler talks about the NX-01’s grapplers (which La’An loves), the precursor to a ship’s tractor beam. Grapplers were also seen in SNW: “Life Us Where Suffering Cannot Reach”.\n
\n
Starfleet tradition is that every time a new ship is commissioned, construction starts with an old piece of the last ship that bore the name (which explains why Boimler called this the “second” *Enterprise*). Which means there’s a piece of horonium on the ship.\n
\n
The piece in question appears to be a gas cylinder. Ortegas says she’s a fan of Travis Mayweather, first pilot of the NX-01, and her middle school gym was named after him. Uhura mentions Hoshi Sato, who spoke 86 languages - Uhura wrote 3 papers on her at the Academy. I’m happy to see the NX-01 crew get the love they never quite got when the series was around.\n
\n
Mariner tells Una that Boimler’s pin-up of her is a recruitment poster and inspired Boimler to join Starfleet. Una is moved that they put “ad astra per aspera” on the poster, the Starfleet motto she quoted during her trial (SNW: “Ad Astra Per Aspera”).\n
\n
Captain Caras recognizes Tendi’s title “Mistress of the Winter Constellations” (“We’ll Always Have Tom Paris”) and says that he has an Astrea Tendi on his ship. Pike’s offer to give the Orion scientists credit also explains why Tendi tells Boimler that Orions discovered the portal. I wish we could have seen Nöel Wells in live action, though.\n
\n
Ransom calls “Numero Una” the hottest first officer in Starfleet history. Ransom is voiced by Jerry O’Connell, who is married to Rebecca Romijn. Mariner says Ransom sleeps face down “like a baby”.\n
\n
We are rewarded with an animated SNW epilogue, which is explained by them hallucinating after imbibing Orion Hurricanes with real *delaq*.
"""
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+slug: "Annotations-for-Star-Trek-Strange-New-Worlds-2x07-Those-Old"
+title: "Annotations for *Star Trek: Strange New Worlds* 2x07: “Those Old Scientists” (SPOILERS)"
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The title comes from LD’s 1st Season finale, “No Small Parts”, when CMDR Jack Ransom, XO of the USS *Cerritos*, refers to the TOS era as “Those Old Scientists”.\n
\n
We start on Stardate 58460.1 in an animated segment. This places it in 2381, and sometime between LD 3x06: “Hear All, Trust Nothing” (58456.2) and LD 3x09: “Trusted Sources” (58496.1). 3x07 and 3x08 don’t have stardate references. The ship is doing a check on the Krulmuth-B portal, which has been dormant for 120 years - and if you do the calculations you can see where this is going.\n
\n
Boimler says the portal was discovered by Pike and the “second” *Enterprise* and refers to Una as “Numero Una” to Mariner’s annoyance. Rutherford talks about teleron radiation. I’m assuming it’s not a CC typo and it’s distinct from “thalaron radiation” (*Nemesis*).\n
\n
Tendi’s great-grandmother was on an Orion science vessel, and she claims the Orions were the ones who actually discovered the portal (which looks vaguely *Stargate*-like). Rutherford is wearing a holographic imager around his neck (last seen in LD: “Veritas” and of the type first seen in VOY: “Latent Image”).\n
\n
Rutherford picks up traces of horonium. Hōra is the Greek word for “time”, from which we get the word horology, the art of making clocks. Boimler says Starfleet used horonium in NX-class ships, because it was lightweight, durable and was the right shade of grey (Mariner refers to the Starfleet History Museum - it’s not clear if this is the same as the Fleet Museum from PIC).\n
\n
Boimler screams “Remember me!” as he gets sucked into the portal, in the way that Beverly Crusher is also almost sucked into one in TNG: “Remember Me”. The phrase is originally from Shakespeare, specifically *Hamlet* Act I, sc v when the Ghost says: “Adieu, adieu, adieu. Remember me,” as he exits. The line is repeated by Hamlet later in the scene.\n
\n
The title sequence for this episode is animated in the LD style, with the space beast from the LD titles now suckling on the back of the *Enterprise*. Now I want an animated model of the *Enterprise* to match my *Titan*. At the end when the title card comes up we see the outline of the cosmic koala next to the planet (LD: “Moist Vessel”).\n
\n
Pike’s log is stardated 2291.6. *Enterprise* is delivering a shipment of grain to a colony on Setlik II. In the future (c. 2347), the Setlik *III* colony would be the site of an infamous massacre during the Cardassian wars with the Federation (TNG: “The Wounded”).\n
\n
Una reports that Boimler’s delta is also a communicator, confirming once and for all that SNW’s deltas are not. Boimler has purple hair, like he does when animated. On awakening he calls out, “Computer end program,” thinking he’s on a holodeck. He refers to the ship’s S/COMS operating system as opposed to LCARS in his era.\n
\n
La’An is uniquely qualified to lecture on temporal protocols as she’s gone through the same experience (SNW: “Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow”). She talks about not making any attachments owing to the trauma she underwent when the alternate Jim Kirk died in her arms in the past. Boimler accidentally lets slip Worf’s name.\n
\n
Boimler waits in Pike’s office, as evidenced by the presence of the saddle and he calls out “Riker” as he mounts it with the Riker Maneuver (the popular explanation for the move is that Frakes suffered a back injury but although that injury did result in him doing the “Riker lean”, Frakes said in an interview that the chair maneuver was that he felt it was a cocky move suited to Riker, and no one stopped him so it stuck).\n
\n
Boimler asks if M’Benga is holding a classic TS-122 tricorder and M’Benga says it’s a TS-120. In the 24th Century, tricorders are of the TR series. Boimler theorizes that radioisotopes from the holographic imager set the portal off. Boimler is startled when Spock laughs.\n
\n
The ship is an Orion scout ship, technically first appearing in TOS: “Journey to Babel” as just a glowing blob, but redesigned as a more detailed CGI model for the remastered episode by Michael Okuda. A slight continuity contradiction arises: in “Babel” Spock doesn’t recognize the configuration of the scout ship when they encounter it then.\n
\n
Boimler says “NCC-1701 dash nothing,” referring to the future ships’ names in homage to the original and of course puzzling Una and La’An. He identifies Ortegas as a war hero, referring to her service in the Klingon War. Captain Harr Caras commands the Orion science vessel *D’Var*.\n
\n
I can’t feel that sorry for Boims having his chops busted, because I’d just love being paid attention to like that by Jess Bush and Melissa Navia. He says this is the “golden age of exploration”, echoing Pike’s words from the previous episode. He lets slip that Pike’s birthday is on Friday (on movie night) and is a holiday in the 24th Century.\n
\n
Chapel is rather devastated to learn that she’s not mentioned in books on Spock in the future. Boimler refers to Spock’s pet *sehlat* (TAS: “Yesteryear”). Ortegas calls Boimler “Future Boy”, a nickname Doc Brown applied to Marty McFly in *Back to the Future*.\n
\n
Turns out the grain Pike is carrying is trititicale. Its variant, quadrotriticale, would be central to the Federation’s efforts on Sherman’s Planet in TOS: “The Trouble with Tribbles”. Presumably it’s a three-lobed version as opposed to the four-lobed quadrotriticale. Triticale is a real life grain that writer David Gerrold based quadrotriticale on in “Tribbles”.\n
\n
Mariner uses up the last of the horonium in the portal, and Una says there’s hasn’t been a supply for a hundred years. Mariner says for all she knew Boimler could have been “stuck in a dystopian San Francisco in the middle of a riot”, referring to the Bell Riots of DS9: “Past Tense”. She finds young Spock hot, much like Jazdia Dax did to his slightly older counterpart in DS9: “Trials and Tribble-lations”.\n
\n
Boimler does the “Section 31 speed walk” when walking away from Mariner down the corridors (LD: “Envoys”), which he claimed conserved energy. Una wonders if Boimler’s poster is a “pin-up” poster, of which there are very many of Rebecca Romijn.\n
\n
Uhura says she’s 22 (the same age as Celia Rose Golding), which immediately makes this old chronologist’s mind start doing calculations. The official *Star Trek* website places her birth year as 2239, which would make the present year 2261, which sort of tracks (my estimate is between 2260-61).\n
\n
Mariner quotes Starfleet labor codes: section 48-Alpha-7: “Officers must take meal breaks at regular intervals”. She claims that she knows those that help her slack off. She makes Orion Hurricanes for Uhura and Ortegas, although they don’t have Orion *delaq*, which she says will mess them up. Uhura’s PADD shows her comparing the inscriptions on the portal to Bajoran and Cardassian script.\n
\n
Ortegas refers to Starbase Earhart, probably best remembered as housing the Bonestell Entertainment Facility where Jean-Luc Picard was stabbed by Nausicaans in 2337 (TNG: “Tapestry”). It also had a *dom-jot* table. Mariner and Tendi visited it in LD: “We’ll Always Have Tom Paris”. Mariner says Nausicaans are terrible at *dom-jot*, a billiard-type game, but still love to bet on it. Ortegas’ recognition of the letters leads Uhura to discover the language is a thousands-years old ancient Nausicaan dialect.\n
\n
Boimler seeks solace in Engineering. Pelia says there is nothing quite so soothing as a properly calibrated warp core, which Boimler would agree with as he’s often said in LD that warp cores are cool. Pelia’s quote is from Cary Grant, which implies she knew him.\n
\n
Mariner chides Boimler for shouting “Holy Q” because they hadn’t met him yet in the 23rd Century but qualifies it with “they had kind of a Trelane thing going on.” Fanon often states that Trelane (TOS: “The Squire of Gothos”) and Q are related because their MO is remarkably similar. This link was made explicit in the novels (*Q-Squared*). Mariner has met Q before (LD: “Veritas”).\n
\n
Boimler remarks how slow and quietly everyone talks in this era, in stark contrast to the high-speed and intense dialogue they use on the half-hour animated *Lower Decks*.\n
\n
Boimler once dressed up as Pike for Halloween, and had to contour his chin to fit. Pike confesses he and his father never got along, and that was never resolved. This year is the first year he’s older than his father when he died. He planned to fish on Setlik II’s ice moon with a bottle of whiskey and have an imaginary talk with his father.\n
\n
Pike refers to Archer’s *Enterprise*, the NX-01, which reminds Boimler that horonium was used in its construction (a little over a hundred years ago). Boimler talks about the NX-01’s grapplers (which La’An loves), the precursor to a ship’s tractor beam. Grapplers were also seen in SNW: “Life Us Where Suffering Cannot Reach”.\n
\n
Starfleet tradition is that every time a new ship is commissioned, construction starts with an old piece of the last ship that bore the name (which explains why Boimler called this the “second” *Enterprise*). Which means there’s a piece of horonium on the ship.\n
\n
The piece in question appears to be a gas cylinder. Ortegas says she’s a fan of Travis Mayweather, first pilot of the NX-01, and her middle school gym was named after him. Uhura mentions Hoshi Sato, who spoke 86 languages - Uhura wrote 3 papers on her at the Academy. I’m happy to see the NX-01 crew get the love they never quite got when the series was around.\n
\n
Mariner tells Una that Boimler’s pin-up of her is a recruitment poster and inspired Boimler to join Starfleet. Una is moved that they put “ad astra per aspera” on the poster, the Starfleet motto she quoted during her trial (SNW: “Ad Astra Per Aspera”).\n
\n
Captain Caras recognizes Tendi’s title “Mistress of the Winter Constellations” (“We’ll Always Have Tom Paris”) and says that he has an Astrea Tendi on his ship. Pike’s offer to give the Orion scientists credit also explains why Tendi tells Boimler that Orions discovered the portal. I wish we could have seen Nöel Wells in live action, though.\n
\n
Ransom calls “Numero Una” the hottest first officer in Starfleet history. Ransom is voiced by Jerry O’Connell, who is married to Rebecca Romijn. Mariner says Ransom sleeps face down “like a baby”.\n
\n
We are rewarded with an animated SNW epilogue, which is explained by them hallucinating after imbibing Orion Hurricanes with real *delaq*.
"""
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+slug: "My-boyfriend-doesn-t-want-to-marry-me-because-I-m-an"
+title: "My boyfriend doesn't want to marry me because I'm an immigrant + UPDATE"
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+body: """
*This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
\n
[ORIGINAL](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r4yz7n/my_boyfriend_doesnt_want_to_marry_me_because_im/) by [u/haicrii](/u/haicrii)\n
\n
I (29F) moved to the US 7 years ago as a grad school student from Indonesia. I met my boyfriend (30M) a few months after I moved and we’ve been together ever since. My boyfriend is a US citizen.\n
\n
After I graduated, we had a serious discussion about where our relationship was headed. I made it very clear that I wanted to eventually get married and have children. My bf echoed the sentiments. I remember asking him if he saw that happening with me because I didn’t want to be in a relationship with no future. He told me he loved me, and that we were definitely headed in that direction.\n
\n
As of last week, we’ve been dating for 7 years. We’ve occasionally talked about marriage, but we were both busy with our respective careers, so the timing didn’t seem quite right. However, recently my company announced that there’s a chance that my department’s work will be outsourced. I’m on an H1B visa (temporary worker), so this means that I need to start looking for a job ASAP if I want to continue staying in the US.\n
\n
Last week, during our anniversary, I brought this up. I asked him if he thought it was the right time to think about getting married, as that will also help with sorting out my visa issues. He looked like he was about to vomit. After much prodding, he confessed that he wasn’t planning on us getting married before I was able to get a green card (permanent resident) in the US. I was incredibly confused because he’d never mentioned this before. His reason was that he didn’t want to be used as a “visa mule” (his words, not mine) by me and that he wanted to make sure that I married him because I loved him and not because it was a ticket to getting to stay in the US, which can only happen when I get a GC. It took me a while to process what he said, and I asked him if he’d be okay to move to Indonesia with me, which he wasn’t. I did not react well and ended up leaving because I couldn’t deal with what just happened.\n
\n
\u{200B}I am still in disbelief. I started dating him because he was the kindest, most thoughtful, and generous man I’d met. I now feel like I wasted seven years. While the visa issues are certainly a problem, I did not date him with the intention of making him my safety net. I cannot believe that even after nearly a decade together, he doesn’t know what kind of person I am.\n
\n
\u{200B}I feel like this relationship is possibly over and it hurts. It hurts so much.\n
\n
[UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r8oofo/update_my_boyfriend_doesnt_want_to_marry_me/)\n
\n
A few days back I made a post about how my bf of 7 years didn’t want to marry me because I was an immigrant on an H1B, and he didn’t want to be a visa mule.\n
\n
I got a lot of wonderful comments and DMs (a few trolls too, but that’s expected from Reddit haha).\n
\n
Because the thread got locked and the post was subsequently removed (because I have a low-karma account), I was unable to respond to anyone. I’m posting this update to do that, plus add in some more things that have transpired since. (TL;DR at the bottom)\n
\n
—\n
\n
Addressing some of the stuff in the comments\n
\n
- I’ve been on an H1B visa for a bit more than two years now. I was on STEM OPT for about three years after grad school. I had terrible luck with the H1B lottery and I got one in the last round I was eligible to apply in.\n
- Getting PR in the US is NOT easy. I know people who’ve been here for 15+ years who are still waiting for their PR.\n
- For those of you who DM’d me calling me a gold digger, you guys made me LOL. I am aware of the legalities around sponsoring a spouse for a PR, including the financial aspect. It shouldn’t have been a problem for the following reasons:\n
\n
1. I’m a STEM major who recently shifted into management. I work for a large company and I do quite well for myself. My boyfriend is a teacher and our incomes are not comparable (he earns around ~$60K, I earn close to ~$300K).\n
2. We’ve been living together for ~6 years. We have a shared account to pay for expenses like rent and utilities that we both deposit a percentage of our salary into. The rest of our money goes into our own private accounts and we don’t manage each other’s money.\n
3. Because I’m pretty frugal, I’ve saved up quite a bit of money in the form of savings + investments. If my boyfriend was worried about the legality of sponsoring me financially for 10+ years, I would have happily discussed moving the money around. I was even considering buying a house, so we could have made that a joint-ownership thing. The point is, we could have figured it out. I haven’t relied on him financially ever, and I didn’t intend on doing that in the future.\n
4. I might not have considered everything, but you have to note that I thought about the marriage-for-visa thing very recently, only when the threat of possibly having to leave loomed over me. This isn’t something I’d thought about in detail at all.\n
\n
- Regarding my situation back home in Indonesia: I come from a very religious and conservative family and had a horrible childhood. My family doesn’t support my career choices. I cut contact with my family when I moved to the US, so they are not in the picture at all. I was on great terms with bf’s family - they loved me. —\n
\n
Now, for the actual update: He is now my ex-boyfriend\n
\n
I took a few days to collect myself and then reached out to him wanting to talk. He agreed.\n
\n
It turns out that he has been insecure about earning less than I did for a while. Apparently, his friends have been poking fun at our relationship, calling me the “sugar mommy” because I take care of most of the expenses. He never told me this until now. He apparently didn’t feel like an equal because our pay differs so much, and started feeling that I was only with him as a quick way to get a PR here. I was speechless - I couldn’t believe that his friends gaslighted him into doubting our relationship.\n
\n
I reminded him how he had supported me when I was in grad school, like getting me groceries when I had little money to spare, allowing me to stay with him rent-free in my last year of grad school to help me minimize expenses so I didn’t have to take out a loan, letting me use his car when I was attending interviews. I told him that he did them because he loved me and me taking on the majority of household expenses (since I started working) is my way of paying him back for all the things he did for me back then. He said that he gets what I’m saying but also that he didn’t expect me to start earning more than him straight off the bat.\n
\n
I asked if there was any chance he’d consider going to couple’s therapy (like some of you had suggested) and he declined because he didn’t think he was being unreasonable. He said that he wanted to be the “provider” in a relationship and that he didn’t feel like one in ours, so there’s no going back from this unless I quit my job and found another that paid substantially less, which isn’t going to happen.\n
\n
Well, long story short, we broke up. His family is in disbelief (they were hoping that he would propose soon). I’ve moved into an airbnb for now.\n
\n
—\n
\n
A little bit of good news to end this update with:\n
\n
My company offered me a similar role in a different department. However, this is based out of France, and there’s a small decrease in pay. I’ve always dreamed about living in Europe and I’ve accepted this offer. I’ve signed the relocation agreement, and I’ll move there in the next 8-12 weeks.\n
\n
—\n
\n
TL;DR:\n
\n
Boyfriend was insecure about earning less than me. Boyfriend has now become ex-boyfriend.\n
\n
Company offered a new job in France. Leaving US in 2-3 months to start a new life in France.\n
\n
Allons-y!\n
\n
*Disclaimer*\n
\n
*This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
\n
Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/r8q2x1/my_boyfriend_doesnt_want_to_marry_me_because_im/)
"""
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55 |
DENIED
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+slug: "My-boyfriend-doesn-t-want-to-marry-me-because-I-m-an"
+title: "My boyfriend doesn't want to marry me because I'm an immigrant + UPDATE"
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+body: """
*This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
\n
[ORIGINAL](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r4yz7n/my_boyfriend_doesnt_want_to_marry_me_because_im/) by [u/haicrii](/u/haicrii)\n
\n
I (29F) moved to the US 7 years ago as a grad school student from Indonesia. I met my boyfriend (30M) a few months after I moved and we’ve been together ever since. My boyfriend is a US citizen.\n
\n
After I graduated, we had a serious discussion about where our relationship was headed. I made it very clear that I wanted to eventually get married and have children. My bf echoed the sentiments. I remember asking him if he saw that happening with me because I didn’t want to be in a relationship with no future. He told me he loved me, and that we were definitely headed in that direction.\n
\n
As of last week, we’ve been dating for 7 years. We’ve occasionally talked about marriage, but we were both busy with our respective careers, so the timing didn’t seem quite right. However, recently my company announced that there’s a chance that my department’s work will be outsourced. I’m on an H1B visa (temporary worker), so this means that I need to start looking for a job ASAP if I want to continue staying in the US.\n
\n
Last week, during our anniversary, I brought this up. I asked him if he thought it was the right time to think about getting married, as that will also help with sorting out my visa issues. He looked like he was about to vomit. After much prodding, he confessed that he wasn’t planning on us getting married before I was able to get a green card (permanent resident) in the US. I was incredibly confused because he’d never mentioned this before. His reason was that he didn’t want to be used as a “visa mule” (his words, not mine) by me and that he wanted to make sure that I married him because I loved him and not because it was a ticket to getting to stay in the US, which can only happen when I get a GC. It took me a while to process what he said, and I asked him if he’d be okay to move to Indonesia with me, which he wasn’t. I did not react well and ended up leaving because I couldn’t deal with what just happened.\n
\n
\u{200B}I am still in disbelief. I started dating him because he was the kindest, most thoughtful, and generous man I’d met. I now feel like I wasted seven years. While the visa issues are certainly a problem, I did not date him with the intention of making him my safety net. I cannot believe that even after nearly a decade together, he doesn’t know what kind of person I am.\n
\n
\u{200B}I feel like this relationship is possibly over and it hurts. It hurts so much.\n
\n
[UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r8oofo/update_my_boyfriend_doesnt_want_to_marry_me/)\n
\n
A few days back I made a post about how my bf of 7 years didn’t want to marry me because I was an immigrant on an H1B, and he didn’t want to be a visa mule.\n
\n
I got a lot of wonderful comments and DMs (a few trolls too, but that’s expected from Reddit haha).\n
\n
Because the thread got locked and the post was subsequently removed (because I have a low-karma account), I was unable to respond to anyone. I’m posting this update to do that, plus add in some more things that have transpired since. (TL;DR at the bottom)\n
\n
—\n
\n
Addressing some of the stuff in the comments\n
\n
- I’ve been on an H1B visa for a bit more than two years now. I was on STEM OPT for about three years after grad school. I had terrible luck with the H1B lottery and I got one in the last round I was eligible to apply in.\n
- Getting PR in the US is NOT easy. I know people who’ve been here for 15+ years who are still waiting for their PR.\n
- For those of you who DM’d me calling me a gold digger, you guys made me LOL. I am aware of the legalities around sponsoring a spouse for a PR, including the financial aspect. It shouldn’t have been a problem for the following reasons:\n
\n
1. I’m a STEM major who recently shifted into management. I work for a large company and I do quite well for myself. My boyfriend is a teacher and our incomes are not comparable (he earns around ~$60K, I earn close to ~$300K).\n
2. We’ve been living together for ~6 years. We have a shared account to pay for expenses like rent and utilities that we both deposit a percentage of our salary into. The rest of our money goes into our own private accounts and we don’t manage each other’s money.\n
3. Because I’m pretty frugal, I’ve saved up quite a bit of money in the form of savings + investments. If my boyfriend was worried about the legality of sponsoring me financially for 10+ years, I would have happily discussed moving the money around. I was even considering buying a house, so we could have made that a joint-ownership thing. The point is, we could have figured it out. I haven’t relied on him financially ever, and I didn’t intend on doing that in the future.\n
4. I might not have considered everything, but you have to note that I thought about the marriage-for-visa thing very recently, only when the threat of possibly having to leave loomed over me. This isn’t something I’d thought about in detail at all.\n
\n
- Regarding my situation back home in Indonesia: I come from a very religious and conservative family and had a horrible childhood. My family doesn’t support my career choices. I cut contact with my family when I moved to the US, so they are not in the picture at all. I was on great terms with bf’s family - they loved me. —\n
\n
Now, for the actual update: He is now my ex-boyfriend\n
\n
I took a few days to collect myself and then reached out to him wanting to talk. He agreed.\n
\n
It turns out that he has been insecure about earning less than I did for a while. Apparently, his friends have been poking fun at our relationship, calling me the “sugar mommy” because I take care of most of the expenses. He never told me this until now. He apparently didn’t feel like an equal because our pay differs so much, and started feeling that I was only with him as a quick way to get a PR here. I was speechless - I couldn’t believe that his friends gaslighted him into doubting our relationship.\n
\n
I reminded him how he had supported me when I was in grad school, like getting me groceries when I had little money to spare, allowing me to stay with him rent-free in my last year of grad school to help me minimize expenses so I didn’t have to take out a loan, letting me use his car when I was attending interviews. I told him that he did them because he loved me and me taking on the majority of household expenses (since I started working) is my way of paying him back for all the things he did for me back then. He said that he gets what I’m saying but also that he didn’t expect me to start earning more than him straight off the bat.\n
\n
I asked if there was any chance he’d consider going to couple’s therapy (like some of you had suggested) and he declined because he didn’t think he was being unreasonable. He said that he wanted to be the “provider” in a relationship and that he didn’t feel like one in ours, so there’s no going back from this unless I quit my job and found another that paid substantially less, which isn’t going to happen.\n
\n
Well, long story short, we broke up. His family is in disbelief (they were hoping that he would propose soon). I’ve moved into an airbnb for now.\n
\n
—\n
\n
A little bit of good news to end this update with:\n
\n
My company offered me a similar role in a different department. However, this is based out of France, and there’s a small decrease in pay. I’ve always dreamed about living in Europe and I’ve accepted this offer. I’ve signed the relocation agreement, and I’ll move there in the next 8-12 weeks.\n
\n
—\n
\n
TL;DR:\n
\n
Boyfriend was insecure about earning less than me. Boyfriend has now become ex-boyfriend.\n
\n
Company offered a new job in France. Leaving US in 2-3 months to start a new life in France.\n
\n
Allons-y!\n
\n
*Disclaimer*\n
\n
*This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
\n
Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/r8q2x1/my_boyfriend_doesnt_want_to_marry_me_because_im/)
"""
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56 |
DENIED
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App\Entity\Entry {#1652
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+slug: "My-boyfriend-doesn-t-want-to-marry-me-because-I-m-an"
+title: "My boyfriend doesn't want to marry me because I'm an immigrant + UPDATE"
+url: null
+body: """
*This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
\n
[ORIGINAL](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r4yz7n/my_boyfriend_doesnt_want_to_marry_me_because_im/) by [u/haicrii](/u/haicrii)\n
\n
I (29F) moved to the US 7 years ago as a grad school student from Indonesia. I met my boyfriend (30M) a few months after I moved and we’ve been together ever since. My boyfriend is a US citizen.\n
\n
After I graduated, we had a serious discussion about where our relationship was headed. I made it very clear that I wanted to eventually get married and have children. My bf echoed the sentiments. I remember asking him if he saw that happening with me because I didn’t want to be in a relationship with no future. He told me he loved me, and that we were definitely headed in that direction.\n
\n
As of last week, we’ve been dating for 7 years. We’ve occasionally talked about marriage, but we were both busy with our respective careers, so the timing didn’t seem quite right. However, recently my company announced that there’s a chance that my department’s work will be outsourced. I’m on an H1B visa (temporary worker), so this means that I need to start looking for a job ASAP if I want to continue staying in the US.\n
\n
Last week, during our anniversary, I brought this up. I asked him if he thought it was the right time to think about getting married, as that will also help with sorting out my visa issues. He looked like he was about to vomit. After much prodding, he confessed that he wasn’t planning on us getting married before I was able to get a green card (permanent resident) in the US. I was incredibly confused because he’d never mentioned this before. His reason was that he didn’t want to be used as a “visa mule” (his words, not mine) by me and that he wanted to make sure that I married him because I loved him and not because it was a ticket to getting to stay in the US, which can only happen when I get a GC. It took me a while to process what he said, and I asked him if he’d be okay to move to Indonesia with me, which he wasn’t. I did not react well and ended up leaving because I couldn’t deal with what just happened.\n
\n
\u{200B}I am still in disbelief. I started dating him because he was the kindest, most thoughtful, and generous man I’d met. I now feel like I wasted seven years. While the visa issues are certainly a problem, I did not date him with the intention of making him my safety net. I cannot believe that even after nearly a decade together, he doesn’t know what kind of person I am.\n
\n
\u{200B}I feel like this relationship is possibly over and it hurts. It hurts so much.\n
\n
[UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r8oofo/update_my_boyfriend_doesnt_want_to_marry_me/)\n
\n
A few days back I made a post about how my bf of 7 years didn’t want to marry me because I was an immigrant on an H1B, and he didn’t want to be a visa mule.\n
\n
I got a lot of wonderful comments and DMs (a few trolls too, but that’s expected from Reddit haha).\n
\n
Because the thread got locked and the post was subsequently removed (because I have a low-karma account), I was unable to respond to anyone. I’m posting this update to do that, plus add in some more things that have transpired since. (TL;DR at the bottom)\n
\n
—\n
\n
Addressing some of the stuff in the comments\n
\n
- I’ve been on an H1B visa for a bit more than two years now. I was on STEM OPT for about three years after grad school. I had terrible luck with the H1B lottery and I got one in the last round I was eligible to apply in.\n
- Getting PR in the US is NOT easy. I know people who’ve been here for 15+ years who are still waiting for their PR.\n
- For those of you who DM’d me calling me a gold digger, you guys made me LOL. I am aware of the legalities around sponsoring a spouse for a PR, including the financial aspect. It shouldn’t have been a problem for the following reasons:\n
\n
1. I’m a STEM major who recently shifted into management. I work for a large company and I do quite well for myself. My boyfriend is a teacher and our incomes are not comparable (he earns around ~$60K, I earn close to ~$300K).\n
2. We’ve been living together for ~6 years. We have a shared account to pay for expenses like rent and utilities that we both deposit a percentage of our salary into. The rest of our money goes into our own private accounts and we don’t manage each other’s money.\n
3. Because I’m pretty frugal, I’ve saved up quite a bit of money in the form of savings + investments. If my boyfriend was worried about the legality of sponsoring me financially for 10+ years, I would have happily discussed moving the money around. I was even considering buying a house, so we could have made that a joint-ownership thing. The point is, we could have figured it out. I haven’t relied on him financially ever, and I didn’t intend on doing that in the future.\n
4. I might not have considered everything, but you have to note that I thought about the marriage-for-visa thing very recently, only when the threat of possibly having to leave loomed over me. This isn’t something I’d thought about in detail at all.\n
\n
- Regarding my situation back home in Indonesia: I come from a very religious and conservative family and had a horrible childhood. My family doesn’t support my career choices. I cut contact with my family when I moved to the US, so they are not in the picture at all. I was on great terms with bf’s family - they loved me. —\n
\n
Now, for the actual update: He is now my ex-boyfriend\n
\n
I took a few days to collect myself and then reached out to him wanting to talk. He agreed.\n
\n
It turns out that he has been insecure about earning less than I did for a while. Apparently, his friends have been poking fun at our relationship, calling me the “sugar mommy” because I take care of most of the expenses. He never told me this until now. He apparently didn’t feel like an equal because our pay differs so much, and started feeling that I was only with him as a quick way to get a PR here. I was speechless - I couldn’t believe that his friends gaslighted him into doubting our relationship.\n
\n
I reminded him how he had supported me when I was in grad school, like getting me groceries when I had little money to spare, allowing me to stay with him rent-free in my last year of grad school to help me minimize expenses so I didn’t have to take out a loan, letting me use his car when I was attending interviews. I told him that he did them because he loved me and me taking on the majority of household expenses (since I started working) is my way of paying him back for all the things he did for me back then. He said that he gets what I’m saying but also that he didn’t expect me to start earning more than him straight off the bat.\n
\n
I asked if there was any chance he’d consider going to couple’s therapy (like some of you had suggested) and he declined because he didn’t think he was being unreasonable. He said that he wanted to be the “provider” in a relationship and that he didn’t feel like one in ours, so there’s no going back from this unless I quit my job and found another that paid substantially less, which isn’t going to happen.\n
\n
Well, long story short, we broke up. His family is in disbelief (they were hoping that he would propose soon). I’ve moved into an airbnb for now.\n
\n
—\n
\n
A little bit of good news to end this update with:\n
\n
My company offered me a similar role in a different department. However, this is based out of France, and there’s a small decrease in pay. I’ve always dreamed about living in Europe and I’ve accepted this offer. I’ve signed the relocation agreement, and I’ll move there in the next 8-12 weeks.\n
\n
—\n
\n
TL;DR:\n
\n
Boyfriend was insecure about earning less than me. Boyfriend has now become ex-boyfriend.\n
\n
Company offered a new job in France. Leaving US in 2-3 months to start a new life in France.\n
\n
Allons-y!\n
\n
*Disclaimer*\n
\n
*This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
\n
Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/r8q2x1/my_boyfriend_doesnt_want_to_marry_me_because_im/)
"""
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Show voter details
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57 |
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ROLE_USER
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null |
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Show voter details
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58 |
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App\Entity\Entry {#1589
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I’ve been using Real Debrid for about a year now, but there’re a couple of things making me want to switch.\n
\n
I like to share my account with a couple of friends. Real Debrid gave me a warning about banning my account if I use it concurrently with someone else.\n
\n
Real Debrid no longer accepts emails from AnonAddy or Tutanota. I would much rather not have to give out any real contact info.\n
\n
Looking for a comparable service that caches torrents from anyome who downloads it and provides a link premiumizing service. I would also like to be able to give out direct links for the purposes of using Syncplay.\n
\n
Whatever I use must be compatible with Torrentio inside of Stremio.
"""
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+votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1583 …}
+reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1580 …}
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+notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1588 …}
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+cross: false
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+downVotes: 0
+ranking: 1690001357
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+apId: "https://lemmy.sdf.org/post/1144858"
+editedAt: null
+createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1690001357 {#1593
date: 2023-07-22 06:49:17.0 +02:00
}
} |
|
Show voter details
|
59 |
DENIED
|
edit
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1589
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1571 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1896 …}
+image: null
+domain: App\Entity\Domain {#278 …}
+slug: "Best-Debrid-service"
+title: "Best Debrid service?"
+url: null
+body: """
I’ve been using Real Debrid for about a year now, but there’re a couple of things making me want to switch.\n
\n
I like to share my account with a couple of friends. Real Debrid gave me a warning about banning my account if I use it concurrently with someone else.\n
\n
Real Debrid no longer accepts emails from AnonAddy or Tutanota. I would much rather not have to give out any real contact info.\n
\n
Looking for a comparable service that caches torrents from anyome who downloads it and provides a link premiumizing service. I would also like to be able to give out direct links for the purposes of using Syncplay.\n
\n
Whatever I use must be compatible with Torrentio inside of Stremio.
"""
+type: "article"
+lang: "en"
+isOc: false
+hasEmbed: false
+commentCount: 0
+favouriteCount: 1
+score: 0
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+sticky: false
+lastActive: DateTime @1690001357 {#1591
date: 2023-07-22 06:49:17.0 +02:00
}
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+comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1582 …}
+votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1583 …}
+reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1580 …}
+favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1584 …}
+notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1588 …}
+badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1574 …}
+children: []
-id: 17865
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+cross: false
+upVotes: 0
+downVotes: 0
+ranking: 1690001357
+visibility: "visible "
+apId: "https://lemmy.sdf.org/post/1144858"
+editedAt: null
+createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1690001357 {#1593
date: 2023-07-22 06:49:17.0 +02:00
}
} |
|
Show voter details
|
60 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1589
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1571 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1896 …}
+image: null
+domain: App\Entity\Domain {#278 …}
+slug: "Best-Debrid-service"
+title: "Best Debrid service?"
+url: null
+body: """
I’ve been using Real Debrid for about a year now, but there’re a couple of things making me want to switch.\n
\n
I like to share my account with a couple of friends. Real Debrid gave me a warning about banning my account if I use it concurrently with someone else.\n
\n
Real Debrid no longer accepts emails from AnonAddy or Tutanota. I would much rather not have to give out any real contact info.\n
\n
Looking for a comparable service that caches torrents from anyome who downloads it and provides a link premiumizing service. I would also like to be able to give out direct links for the purposes of using Syncplay.\n
\n
Whatever I use must be compatible with Torrentio inside of Stremio.
"""
+type: "article"
+lang: "en"
+isOc: false
+hasEmbed: false
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+favouriteCount: 1
+score: 0
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date: 2023-07-22 06:49:17.0 +02:00
}
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+comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1582 …}
+votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1583 …}
+reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1580 …}
+favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1584 …}
+notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1588 …}
+badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1574 …}
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-id: 17865
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+editedAt: null
+createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1690001357 {#1593
date: 2023-07-22 06:49:17.0 +02:00
}
} |
|
Show voter details
|
61 |
DENIED
|
ROLE_USER
|
null |
|
Show voter details
|
62 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1573
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1585 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1576 …}
+image: null
+domain: App\Entity\Domain {#278 …}
+slug: "Why-do-gaming-companies-do-this"
+title: "Why do gaming companies do this?"
+url: null
+body: """
\n
\n
I’m really wondering here. If you want people to actually like the game your forcing them to watch an advert on, is it really in your best interest to make the x as small as you possibly can? and likewise, do you need to force us to click said x multiple times? do you honestly think that this is how you get people to install and try games, or are the advert companies just using this to lie about the clickthrough rates?
"""
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date: 2023-07-23 09:26:11.0 +02:00
}
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+cross: false
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+ranking: 1690085326
+visibility: "visible "
+apId: "https://lemmy.world/post/1966247"
+editedAt: null
+createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1689998926 {#1586
date: 2023-07-22 06:08:46.0 +02:00
}
} |
|
Show voter details
|
63 |
DENIED
|
edit
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1573
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1585 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1576 …}
+image: null
+domain: App\Entity\Domain {#278 …}
+slug: "Why-do-gaming-companies-do-this"
+title: "Why do gaming companies do this?"
+url: null
+body: """
\n
\n
I’m really wondering here. If you want people to actually like the game your forcing them to watch an advert on, is it really in your best interest to make the x as small as you possibly can? and likewise, do you need to force us to click said x multiple times? do you honestly think that this is how you get people to install and try games, or are the advert companies just using this to lie about the clickthrough rates?
"""
+type: "article"
+lang: "en"
+isOc: false
+hasEmbed: false
+commentCount: 11
+favouriteCount: 35
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date: 2023-07-23 09:26:11.0 +02:00
}
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+cross: false
+upVotes: 0
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+ranking: 1690085326
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+apId: "https://lemmy.world/post/1966247"
+editedAt: null
+createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1689998926 {#1586
date: 2023-07-22 06:08:46.0 +02:00
}
} |
|
Show voter details
|
64 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1573
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1585 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1576 …}
+image: null
+domain: App\Entity\Domain {#278 …}
+slug: "Why-do-gaming-companies-do-this"
+title: "Why do gaming companies do this?"
+url: null
+body: """
\n
\n
I’m really wondering here. If you want people to actually like the game your forcing them to watch an advert on, is it really in your best interest to make the x as small as you possibly can? and likewise, do you need to force us to click said x multiple times? do you honestly think that this is how you get people to install and try games, or are the advert companies just using this to lie about the clickthrough rates?
"""
+type: "article"
+lang: "en"
+isOc: false
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date: 2023-07-23 09:26:11.0 +02:00
}
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+cross: false
+upVotes: 0
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+ranking: 1690085326
+visibility: "visible "
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+editedAt: null
+createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1689998926 {#1586
date: 2023-07-22 06:08:46.0 +02:00
}
} |
|
Show voter details
|
65 |
DENIED
|
ROLE_USER
|
null |
|
Show voter details
|
66 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1566
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1563 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1562 …}
+image: null
+domain: App\Entity\Domain {#278 …}
+slug: "What-ways-do-you-find-different-media"
+title: "What ways do you find different media?"
+url: null
+body: """
Whether it’s music, books, games, tv or movies, if you tune out most of the marketing, how do you go about finding new or old stuff? Word of mouth, new marketing (i.e. influencers/YouTubers), or do you ride the related artists/recommendations on stuff like Spotify/Last.fm/YouTube/Netflix/etc.? Or perhaps something else entirely?\n
\n
I’m sure it’s a mix for everyone, however I’d love to read of some of the ways that one might not think of to find different new or old media!
"""
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date: 2023-07-22 04:50:49.0 +02:00
}
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+comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1565 …}
+votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1558 …}
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+favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1621 …}
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+badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1596 …}
+children: []
-id: 4962
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+cross: false
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+downVotes: 0
+ranking: 1689994249
+visibility: "visible "
+apId: "https://lemmy.world/post/1962527"
+editedAt: null
+createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1689994249 {#1564
date: 2023-07-22 04:50:49.0 +02:00
}
} |
|
Show voter details
|
67 |
DENIED
|
edit
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1566
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1563 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1562 …}
+image: null
+domain: App\Entity\Domain {#278 …}
+slug: "What-ways-do-you-find-different-media"
+title: "What ways do you find different media?"
+url: null
+body: """
Whether it’s music, books, games, tv or movies, if you tune out most of the marketing, how do you go about finding new or old stuff? Word of mouth, new marketing (i.e. influencers/YouTubers), or do you ride the related artists/recommendations on stuff like Spotify/Last.fm/YouTube/Netflix/etc.? Or perhaps something else entirely?\n
\n
I’m sure it’s a mix for everyone, however I’d love to read of some of the ways that one might not think of to find different new or old media!
"""
+type: "article"
+lang: "en"
+isOc: false
+hasEmbed: false
+commentCount: 0
+favouriteCount: 1
+score: 0
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+sticky: false
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date: 2023-07-22 04:50:49.0 +02:00
}
+ip: null
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+comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1565 …}
+votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1558 …}
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+favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1621 …}
+notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1613 …}
+badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1596 …}
+children: []
-id: 4962
-titleTs: "'differ':6 'find':5 'media':7 'way':2"
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+ranking: 1689994249
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+editedAt: null
+createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1689994249 {#1564
date: 2023-07-22 04:50:49.0 +02:00
}
} |
|
Show voter details
|
68 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1566
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1563 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1562 …}
+image: null
+domain: App\Entity\Domain {#278 …}
+slug: "What-ways-do-you-find-different-media"
+title: "What ways do you find different media?"
+url: null
+body: """
Whether it’s music, books, games, tv or movies, if you tune out most of the marketing, how do you go about finding new or old stuff? Word of mouth, new marketing (i.e. influencers/YouTubers), or do you ride the related artists/recommendations on stuff like Spotify/Last.fm/YouTube/Netflix/etc.? Or perhaps something else entirely?\n
\n
I’m sure it’s a mix for everyone, however I’d love to read of some of the ways that one might not think of to find different new or old media!
"""
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+lang: "en"
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date: 2023-07-22 04:50:49.0 +02:00
}
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+editedAt: null
+createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1689994249 {#1564
date: 2023-07-22 04:50:49.0 +02:00
}
} |
|
Show voter details
|
69 |
DENIED
|
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Show voter details
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70 |
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App\Entity\Entry {#1683
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App\Entity\Entry {#1683
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Show voter details
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72 |
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moderate
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App\Entity\Entry {#1683
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74 |
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|
App\Entity\Entry {#1626
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|
App\Entity\Entry {#1626
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Show voter details
|
76 |
DENIED
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moderate
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1626
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77 |
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null |
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Show voter details
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78 |
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moderate
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1734
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|
Show voter details
|
79 |
DENIED
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edit
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1734
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1732 …}
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|
Show voter details
|
80 |
DENIED
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moderate
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1734
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1732 …}
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Show voter details
|
81 |
DENIED
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ROLE_USER
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null |
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Show voter details
|
82 |
DENIED
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moderate
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1740
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1707 …}
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+image: null
+domain: App\Entity\Domain {#278 …}
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+url: null
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I recently gave up eating takeout every night, but I’m too lazy to cook, which led to me replacing it with basically nothing but canned food. Like I’ll mix a can of beans and a can of mixed vegetables together, put half in a bowl and put the other half in a container for tomorrow, put salad dressing on it, and then that’s my dinner. I also eat a half can of fruit per day, because I found the shelf life and inconsistencies with produce to be too annoying.\n
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\n
On the other hand, if there’s some long term issue with eating too much canned food, then I’m definitely going to be affected by it. I was thinking cats lead pretty good lives with nothing but canned food, so maybe I’ll be ok.\n
\n
Anyway, am I going to die a horrible canned food death, or am I ok?
"""
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} |
|
Show voter details
|
83 |
DENIED
|
edit
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1740
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1707 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1562 …}
+image: null
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+slug: "Is-eating-a-lot-of-canned-food-bad"
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+url: null
+body: """
I recently gave up eating takeout every night, but I’m too lazy to cook, which led to me replacing it with basically nothing but canned food. Like I’ll mix a can of beans and a can of mixed vegetables together, put half in a bowl and put the other half in a container for tomorrow, put salad dressing on it, and then that’s my dinner. I also eat a half can of fruit per day, because I found the shelf life and inconsistencies with produce to be too annoying.\n
\n
On the one hand, I think I’m eating better than I was when I was doing nothing but takeout. My salt consumption has plummeted, and in general, I think the nutritional facts for my canned meal are better across the board than the takeout meals I was doing.\n
\n
On the other hand, if there’s some long term issue with eating too much canned food, then I’m definitely going to be affected by it. I was thinking cats lead pretty good lives with nothing but canned food, so maybe I’ll be ok.\n
\n
Anyway, am I going to die a horrible canned food death, or am I ok?
"""
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+createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1689963480 {#1741
date: 2023-07-21 20:18:00.0 +02:00
}
} |
|
Show voter details
|
84 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1740
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1707 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1562 …}
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+domain: App\Entity\Domain {#278 …}
+slug: "Is-eating-a-lot-of-canned-food-bad"
+title: "Is eating a lot of canned food bad?"
+url: null
+body: """
I recently gave up eating takeout every night, but I’m too lazy to cook, which led to me replacing it with basically nothing but canned food. Like I’ll mix a can of beans and a can of mixed vegetables together, put half in a bowl and put the other half in a container for tomorrow, put salad dressing on it, and then that’s my dinner. I also eat a half can of fruit per day, because I found the shelf life and inconsistencies with produce to be too annoying.\n
\n
On the one hand, I think I’m eating better than I was when I was doing nothing but takeout. My salt consumption has plummeted, and in general, I think the nutritional facts for my canned meal are better across the board than the takeout meals I was doing.\n
\n
On the other hand, if there’s some long term issue with eating too much canned food, then I’m definitely going to be affected by it. I was thinking cats lead pretty good lives with nothing but canned food, so maybe I’ll be ok.\n
\n
Anyway, am I going to die a horrible canned food death, or am I ok?
"""
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date: 2023-07-21 20:18:00.0 +02:00
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} |
|
Show voter details
|
85 |
DENIED
|
ROLE_USER
|
null |
|
Show voter details
|
86 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
App\Entity\Entry {#2457
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2454 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2455 …}
+image: null
+domain: App\Entity\Domain {#278 …}
+slug: "Is-there-really-no-viable-alternative-for-Photoshop-on-Linux"
+title: "Is there really no viable alternative for Photoshop on Linux?"
+url: null
+body: """
I’m starting this off by saying that I’m looking for **any type of reasonably advanced photo manipulation tool, that runs natively under Linux**. It doesn’t have to be FOSS.\n
\n
I switched to Linux, from Windows, about three years ago. I don’t regret the decision whatsoever. However, one thing that has not gotten me away from Windows entirely, is the severe lack of photo editing tools.\n
\n
So what’s available? Well, you have GIMP. And then there’s Krita, but that’s more of a drawing software. And then…\n
\n
Well that’s it. As far as I know.\n
\n
1. GIMP\n
-------\n
\n
Now, as someone migrating from Photoshop, GIMP was incredibly frustrating, and I didn’t understand anything even after a few weeks of trying to get into it. Development seemed really slow, too. It’s far from intuitive, and things that really **should** take a few steps, seemingly takes twenty (like wrapping text on a path? Should that really be that difficult?).\n
\n
I would assume if you’re starting off with GIMP, having never touched Photoshop, then it’d be no issue. But as a user migrating, I really can’t find myself spending months upon months to learn this program. It’s not viable for me.\n
\n
No hate against GIMP, I’m sure it works wonders for those who have managed to learn it. But I can’t see myself using it, and I don’t find myself comfortable within it, as someone migrating from Photoshop.\n
\n
2. Krita\n
--------\n
\n
Krita, on the other hand, I like much more. But, it’s more of a drawing program. Its development is more focused on drawing, and It’s missing some features that I want - namely selection tools. Filters are good, but I find G’MIC really slow. It also really chugs when working with large files.\n
\n
Both of these programs are FOSS. I like that. I like FOSS software. But, apart from that, are there really no good alternatives to Photoshop? Again, doesn’t need to be FOSS. I understand more complex programs take more development power, and I have no problem using something even paid and proprietary, as long as it runs on Linux natively.\n
\n
I’ve tried running Photoshop under WINE, and it works - barely. For quick edits, it might work fine. But not for the work I do.\n
\n
So I raise the question again. **Are there no good alternatives to Photoshop?** And then I raise a follow-up question, that you may or may not want to answer: **If not, why?**\n
\n
Thanks in advance!
"""
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+createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1689949922 {#2452
date: 2023-07-21 16:32:02.0 +02:00
}
} |
|
Show voter details
|
87 |
DENIED
|
edit
|
App\Entity\Entry {#2457
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2454 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2455 …}
+image: null
+domain: App\Entity\Domain {#278 …}
+slug: "Is-there-really-no-viable-alternative-for-Photoshop-on-Linux"
+title: "Is there really no viable alternative for Photoshop on Linux?"
+url: null
+body: """
I’m starting this off by saying that I’m looking for **any type of reasonably advanced photo manipulation tool, that runs natively under Linux**. It doesn’t have to be FOSS.\n
\n
I switched to Linux, from Windows, about three years ago. I don’t regret the decision whatsoever. However, one thing that has not gotten me away from Windows entirely, is the severe lack of photo editing tools.\n
\n
So what’s available? Well, you have GIMP. And then there’s Krita, but that’s more of a drawing software. And then…\n
\n
Well that’s it. As far as I know.\n
\n
1. GIMP\n
-------\n
\n
Now, as someone migrating from Photoshop, GIMP was incredibly frustrating, and I didn’t understand anything even after a few weeks of trying to get into it. Development seemed really slow, too. It’s far from intuitive, and things that really **should** take a few steps, seemingly takes twenty (like wrapping text on a path? Should that really be that difficult?).\n
\n
I would assume if you’re starting off with GIMP, having never touched Photoshop, then it’d be no issue. But as a user migrating, I really can’t find myself spending months upon months to learn this program. It’s not viable for me.\n
\n
No hate against GIMP, I’m sure it works wonders for those who have managed to learn it. But I can’t see myself using it, and I don’t find myself comfortable within it, as someone migrating from Photoshop.\n
\n
2. Krita\n
--------\n
\n
Krita, on the other hand, I like much more. But, it’s more of a drawing program. Its development is more focused on drawing, and It’s missing some features that I want - namely selection tools. Filters are good, but I find G’MIC really slow. It also really chugs when working with large files.\n
\n
Both of these programs are FOSS. I like that. I like FOSS software. But, apart from that, are there really no good alternatives to Photoshop? Again, doesn’t need to be FOSS. I understand more complex programs take more development power, and I have no problem using something even paid and proprietary, as long as it runs on Linux natively.\n
\n
I’ve tried running Photoshop under WINE, and it works - barely. For quick edits, it might work fine. But not for the work I do.\n
\n
So I raise the question again. **Are there no good alternatives to Photoshop?** And then I raise a follow-up question, that you may or may not want to answer: **If not, why?**\n
\n
Thanks in advance!
"""
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date: 2023-07-21 16:32:02.0 +02:00
}
} |
|
Show voter details
|
88 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
App\Entity\Entry {#2457
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2454 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2455 …}
+image: null
+domain: App\Entity\Domain {#278 …}
+slug: "Is-there-really-no-viable-alternative-for-Photoshop-on-Linux"
+title: "Is there really no viable alternative for Photoshop on Linux?"
+url: null
+body: """
I’m starting this off by saying that I’m looking for **any type of reasonably advanced photo manipulation tool, that runs natively under Linux**. It doesn’t have to be FOSS.\n
\n
I switched to Linux, from Windows, about three years ago. I don’t regret the decision whatsoever. However, one thing that has not gotten me away from Windows entirely, is the severe lack of photo editing tools.\n
\n
So what’s available? Well, you have GIMP. And then there’s Krita, but that’s more of a drawing software. And then…\n
\n
Well that’s it. As far as I know.\n
\n
1. GIMP\n
-------\n
\n
Now, as someone migrating from Photoshop, GIMP was incredibly frustrating, and I didn’t understand anything even after a few weeks of trying to get into it. Development seemed really slow, too. It’s far from intuitive, and things that really **should** take a few steps, seemingly takes twenty (like wrapping text on a path? Should that really be that difficult?).\n
\n
I would assume if you’re starting off with GIMP, having never touched Photoshop, then it’d be no issue. But as a user migrating, I really can’t find myself spending months upon months to learn this program. It’s not viable for me.\n
\n
No hate against GIMP, I’m sure it works wonders for those who have managed to learn it. But I can’t see myself using it, and I don’t find myself comfortable within it, as someone migrating from Photoshop.\n
\n
2. Krita\n
--------\n
\n
Krita, on the other hand, I like much more. But, it’s more of a drawing program. Its development is more focused on drawing, and It’s missing some features that I want - namely selection tools. Filters are good, but I find G’MIC really slow. It also really chugs when working with large files.\n
\n
Both of these programs are FOSS. I like that. I like FOSS software. But, apart from that, are there really no good alternatives to Photoshop? Again, doesn’t need to be FOSS. I understand more complex programs take more development power, and I have no problem using something even paid and proprietary, as long as it runs on Linux natively.\n
\n
I’ve tried running Photoshop under WINE, and it works - barely. For quick edits, it might work fine. But not for the work I do.\n
\n
So I raise the question again. **Are there no good alternatives to Photoshop?** And then I raise a follow-up question, that you may or may not want to answer: **If not, why?**\n
\n
Thanks in advance!
"""
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+createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1689949922 {#2452
date: 2023-07-21 16:32:02.0 +02:00
}
} |
|
Show voter details
|
89 |
DENIED
|
ROLE_USER
|
null |
|
Show voter details
|
90 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
App\Entity\Entry {#2372
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2380 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1562 …}
+image: null
+domain: App\Entity\Domain {#278 …}
+slug: "Why-are-there-policies-against-insults-but-not-against-business"
+title: "Why are there policies against insults but not against business advertising?"
+url: null
+body: "Most instances seem to be putting a lot of emphasis on their code of conduct specifically in regard to insults and harassment. I’m not against that and i understand the concept of “your server your rules” but i’m just curious to understand why many are so concerned with slurs while they don’t seem to care much about big tech advertising here. I’m posting this seeing plenty of GAFAM in the top posts of the bigger instances."
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+editedAt: null
+createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1689937105 {#2364
date: 2023-07-21 12:58:25.0 +02:00
}
} |
|
Show voter details
|
91 |
DENIED
|
edit
|
App\Entity\Entry {#2372
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2380 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1562 …}
+image: null
+domain: App\Entity\Domain {#278 …}
+slug: "Why-are-there-policies-against-insults-but-not-against-business"
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Show voter details
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App\Entity\Entry {#1874
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*This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
\n
TW:\n
\n
show spoilernegging\n
\n
[Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/gy79dx/boyfriend_wont_stop_telling_me_i_have_bo/) by [u/ThrowRA-doistink](/u/ThrowRA-doistink) in [r/relationshipadvice](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationshipadvice)\n
\n
I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and everything has been great except for one thing. Every single day, at least once, he will tell me that I stink and smell of b.o( body odour).\n
\n
When we met I showered every day, applied regular deodorant in the morning, brushed my teeth three times a day. Now I am so paranoid about smelling bad that I shower at least twice a day, I apply new industrial strength deodorant every few hours (I have a reminder on my phone), perfume, and I brush my teeth anytime I eat or drink something that isn’t water.\n
\n
I feel like I’m going crazy. I didn’t think I smelled bad in the beginning and I don’t think I smell bad now but I obviously smell bad to him right? Im that weirdo that keeps “sneakily” smelling their own armpits. I have been to the doctor and he has said there is nothing medically wrong. It has honestly gotten to the point where I literally shove my arm pit in friends and families faces asking if I smell bad, they all say I don’t smell like b.o. at all, one friend even said I smelled too clean like a lush store.\n
\n
I am getting so paranoid. He won’t cuddle or anything when he says I smell. I really don’t know what more I can do?\n
\n
Update - so unexpected edit. I waited for him to make a comment this morning so I could talk to him. It was less than an hour after waking up that he said “god you stink” I had already showered and put on deodorant. I snapped and asked what exactly was he smelling because, at this point I’m one of the cleanest people on the planet and if I still smell bad to him then we should just break up.\n
\n
He got all panicked and upset, I eventually got out of him that this is what he father always said to his mother. Apparently his father told him that is was a sure fire technique to have a woman never leave you because “she will feel too low to cheat, will love only you, and will always be clean”.\n
\n
Needless to say, his father is wrong. He’s packing his things and moving out of my house today\n
\n
Reminder: I am not the Original OP.\n
===================================\n
\n
*Disclaimer*\n
\n
*This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
\n
Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/va3ers/oops_boyfriend_wont_stop_telling_her_that_she/)
"""
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95 |
DENIED
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+title: "OOP's boyfriend won't stop telling her that she smells bad"
+url: null
+body: """
*This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
\n
TW:\n
\n
show spoilernegging\n
\n
[Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/gy79dx/boyfriend_wont_stop_telling_me_i_have_bo/) by [u/ThrowRA-doistink](/u/ThrowRA-doistink) in [r/relationshipadvice](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationshipadvice)\n
\n
I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and everything has been great except for one thing. Every single day, at least once, he will tell me that I stink and smell of b.o( body odour).\n
\n
When we met I showered every day, applied regular deodorant in the morning, brushed my teeth three times a day. Now I am so paranoid about smelling bad that I shower at least twice a day, I apply new industrial strength deodorant every few hours (I have a reminder on my phone), perfume, and I brush my teeth anytime I eat or drink something that isn’t water.\n
\n
I feel like I’m going crazy. I didn’t think I smelled bad in the beginning and I don’t think I smell bad now but I obviously smell bad to him right? Im that weirdo that keeps “sneakily” smelling their own armpits. I have been to the doctor and he has said there is nothing medically wrong. It has honestly gotten to the point where I literally shove my arm pit in friends and families faces asking if I smell bad, they all say I don’t smell like b.o. at all, one friend even said I smelled too clean like a lush store.\n
\n
I am getting so paranoid. He won’t cuddle or anything when he says I smell. I really don’t know what more I can do?\n
\n
Update - so unexpected edit. I waited for him to make a comment this morning so I could talk to him. It was less than an hour after waking up that he said “god you stink” I had already showered and put on deodorant. I snapped and asked what exactly was he smelling because, at this point I’m one of the cleanest people on the planet and if I still smell bad to him then we should just break up.\n
\n
He got all panicked and upset, I eventually got out of him that this is what he father always said to his mother. Apparently his father told him that is was a sure fire technique to have a woman never leave you because “she will feel too low to cheat, will love only you, and will always be clean”.\n
\n
Needless to say, his father is wrong. He’s packing his things and moving out of my house today\n
\n
Reminder: I am not the Original OP.\n
===================================\n
\n
*Disclaimer*\n
\n
*This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
\n
Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/va3ers/oops_boyfriend_wont_stop_telling_her_that_she/)
"""
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Show voter details
|
96 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1874
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1755 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1760 …}
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+title: "OOP's boyfriend won't stop telling her that she smells bad"
+url: null
+body: """
*This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
\n
TW:\n
\n
show spoilernegging\n
\n
[Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/gy79dx/boyfriend_wont_stop_telling_me_i_have_bo/) by [u/ThrowRA-doistink](/u/ThrowRA-doistink) in [r/relationshipadvice](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationshipadvice)\n
\n
I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and everything has been great except for one thing. Every single day, at least once, he will tell me that I stink and smell of b.o( body odour).\n
\n
When we met I showered every day, applied regular deodorant in the morning, brushed my teeth three times a day. Now I am so paranoid about smelling bad that I shower at least twice a day, I apply new industrial strength deodorant every few hours (I have a reminder on my phone), perfume, and I brush my teeth anytime I eat or drink something that isn’t water.\n
\n
I feel like I’m going crazy. I didn’t think I smelled bad in the beginning and I don’t think I smell bad now but I obviously smell bad to him right? Im that weirdo that keeps “sneakily” smelling their own armpits. I have been to the doctor and he has said there is nothing medically wrong. It has honestly gotten to the point where I literally shove my arm pit in friends and families faces asking if I smell bad, they all say I don’t smell like b.o. at all, one friend even said I smelled too clean like a lush store.\n
\n
I am getting so paranoid. He won’t cuddle or anything when he says I smell. I really don’t know what more I can do?\n
\n
Update - so unexpected edit. I waited for him to make a comment this morning so I could talk to him. It was less than an hour after waking up that he said “god you stink” I had already showered and put on deodorant. I snapped and asked what exactly was he smelling because, at this point I’m one of the cleanest people on the planet and if I still smell bad to him then we should just break up.\n
\n
He got all panicked and upset, I eventually got out of him that this is what he father always said to his mother. Apparently his father told him that is was a sure fire technique to have a woman never leave you because “she will feel too low to cheat, will love only you, and will always be clean”.\n
\n
Needless to say, his father is wrong. He’s packing his things and moving out of my house today\n
\n
Reminder: I am not the Original OP.\n
===================================\n
\n
*Disclaimer*\n
\n
*This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
\n
Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/va3ers/oops_boyfriend_wont_stop_telling_her_that_she/)
"""
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