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#▲	Time	Info
1	47.38 ms	INSERT INTO messenger_messages (body, headers, queue_name, created_at, available_at) VALUES(?, ?, ?, ?, ?) Parameters: ["{"payload":"{\"@context\":[\"https:\/\/join-lemmy.org\/context.json\",\"https:\/\/www.w3.org\/ns\/activitystreams\"],\"actor\":\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/c\/asklemmy\",\"to\":[\"https:\/\/www.w3.org\/ns\/activitystreams#Public\"],\"object\":{\"id\":\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/activities\/create\/c01a67f7-96c4-481f-9a64-7b899b2439be\",\"actor\":\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/u\/Brotha_Jaufrey\",\"to\":[\"https:\/\/www.w3.org\/ns\/activitystreams#Public\"],\"object\":{\"type\":\"Note\",\"id\":\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/comment\/15661044\",\"attributedTo\":\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/u\/Brotha_Jaufrey\",\"to\":[\"https:\/\/www.w3.org\/ns\/activitystreams#Public\"],\"cc\":[\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/c\/asklemmy\",\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/u\/zcryj\"],\"content\":\"<p>There\u2019s a few things here.<\/p>\\n<blockquote>\\n<p>And given how they rarely invite me back, I guess the feeling is mutual<\/p>\\n<\/blockquote>\\n<p>Based on your language, that\u2019s an assumption. I know it\u2019s easy to assume people are uninterested or hate you or whatever, but people also suck at initiating things and are as unsure as you are. It could just be you guys didn\u2019t vibe, and that\u2019s fine. Invite them again or wait to see if they show interest again. That\u2019ll tell you what you need to know.<\/p>\\n<blockquote>\\n<p>I am quite cold towards people I don\u2019t know<\/p>\\n<\/blockquote>\\n<p>I get that completely. I used to be this way, until I started working in a more social environment, then I developed a skill to be fake-charismatic. That might sound exhausting but it does help others feel like you don\u2019t despite their presence, and they\u2019ll warm up to you better. And as for the \u201cfull sales presentation mode\u201d, I get it. To be honest, asking questions is a great way of stimulating conversation, and it doesn\u2019t have to be just about work. A good piece of advice is to ask questions you want asked about yourself. People love answering questions, and then they\u2019ll get curious about you.<\/p>\\n<blockquote>\\n<p>Some events seem to have a lot more of \u201cmy people\u201d, some less<\/p>\\n<\/blockquote>\\n<p>So, you\u2019ve found people you can click with, that\u2019s great news. Now it\u2019s just a matter of establishing and maintaining connections, inviting people places and doing things that are within both of your interests. But definitely gauge their interest. If they seem to be drifting off, don\u2019t push them. Also, while being sure to show interest in hanging out, don\u2019t be the only one showing interest. There\u2019s people who feed off of treating others like shit while wanting to receive all the attention. You don\u2019t want people like that in your life. You want a friend who invites you as well.<\/p>\\n<blockquote>\\n<p>how could I change this?<\/p>\\n<\/blockquote>\\n<p>You\u2019re not really doing anything wrong per se. You just need to believe in yourself and have the courage to keep going even if things get tough or you mess up. Because that\u2019s how you learn! Also, people have their own issues and you can\u2019t control that. Just keep going at it and with enough time, you\u2019ll have a great group of your own people.<\/p>\\n<p>Also, adding this at the end, but new friends can be very unsure but still want to invite you. If you ever reject an invite, you need to be the one to invite them next time. Otherwise they\u2019ll perceive that as you being uninterested in them.<\/p>\\n\",\"inReplyTo\":\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/post\/26781056\",\"mediaType\":\"text\/html\",\"source\":{\"content\":\"There's a few things here.\\n\\n>And given how they rarely invite me back, I guess the feeling is mutual\\n\\nBased on your language, that's an assumption. I know it's easy to assume people are uninterested or hate you or whatever, but people also suck at initiating things and are as unsure as you are. It could just be you guys didn't vibe, and that's fine. Invite them again or wait to see if they show interest again. That'll tell you what you need to know.\\n\\n>I am quite cold towards people I don't know\\n\\nI get that completely. I used to be this way, until I started working in a more social environment, then I developed a skill to be fake-charismatic. That might sound exhausting but it does help others feel like you don't despite their presence, and they'll warm up to you better. And as for the \\\"full sales presentation mode\\\", I get it. To be honest, asking questions is a great way of stimulating conversation, and it doesn't have to be just about work. A good piece of advice is to ask questions you want asked about yourself. People love answering questions, and then they'll get curious about you.\\n\\n>Some events seem to have a lot more of \\\"my people\\\", some less\\n\\nSo, you've found people you can click with, that's great news. Now it's just a matter of establishing and maintaining connections, inviting people places and doing things that are within both of your interests. But definitely gauge their interest. If they seem to be drifting off, don't push them. Also, while being sure to show interest in hanging out, don't be the only one showing interest. There's people who feed off of treating others like shit while wanting to receive all the attention. You don't want people like that in your life. You want a friend who invites you as well.\\n\\n>how could I change this?\\n\\nYou're not really doing anything wrong per se. You just need to believe in yourself and have the courage to keep going even if things get tough or you mess up. Because that's how you learn! Also, people have their own issues and you can't control that. Just keep going at it and with enough time, you'll have a great group of your own people. \\n\\nAlso, adding this at the end, but new friends can be very unsure but still want to invite you. If you ever reject an invite, you need to be the one to invite them next time. Otherwise they'll perceive that as you being uninterested in them.\",\"mediaType\":\"text\/markdown\"},\"published\":\"2025-03-13T17:07:56.549949Z\",\"tag\":[{\"href\":\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/u\/zcryj\",\"name\":\"@zcryj@lemmy.world\",\"type\":\"Mention\"}],\"distinguished\":false,\"audience\":\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/c\/asklemmy\"},\"cc\":[\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/c\/asklemmy\",\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/u\/zcryj\"],\"tag\":[{\"href\":\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/u\/zcryj\",\"name\":\"@zcryj@lemmy.world\",\"type\":\"Mention\"}],\"type\":\"Create\",\"audience\":\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/c\/asklemmy\"},\"cc\":[\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/c\/asklemmy\/followers\"],\"type\":\"Announce\",\"id\":\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/activities\/announce\/create\/aacdb9c0-0164-4e9d-bf14-600722a7bca7\"}","request":{"host":"kbin.spritesserver.nl","method":"POST","uri":"\/f\/inbox","client_ip":"135.181.143.221"},"headers":{"content-type":["application\/activity+json"],"host":["kbin.spritesserver.nl"],"date":["Thu, 13 Mar 2025 17:08:11 GMT"],"digest":["SHA-256=EfVUxOR+8+PepPz1osF\/2xvlIW2cbFDibcPRWN02BnM="],"signature":["keyId=\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/c\/asklemmy#main-key\",algorithm=\"hs2019\",headers=\"(request-target) content-type date digest host\",signature=\"lc8oiHexEwnf6RHLP\/spvOSn0HFWJF14O6SfXGKIeIMX0pkskLch44Is9LELX74FRFep9LSF8LpnS6RtWClpNDQfeHS3EA9aDoewg+hW0LHLUKhK7lAvspmqxha+W8E8inRKJ3Swb4WvTajwmrDR0QjTMcDKDPktcvyRNpLPvxoJwLV+WccFM8++5dVzSMLbxjeUo\/xmd9VukEyzyFd6FmF9z1FUjoto9iP7ASf8u3mmfKL5FYOYPy7K9L78T0R5YCOc0Q834fZcCfXXgb+hu5Sx9rLWuvnaWYW6WejoRfN9iEQVhenaWH8K3u8hf9LHJcDq85+GVFHMBhusGCi4vg==\""],"accept":["\/"],"user-agent":["Lemmy\/0.19.3-4-gc98049af6; +https:\/\/lemmy.world"],"accept-encoding":["gzip"],"content-length":["6335"],"x-php-ob-level":["1"]}}" "{"type":"App\\Message\\ActivityPub\\Inbox\\ActivityMessage","X-Message-Stamp-Symfony\\Component\\Messenger\\Stamp\\BusNameStamp":"[{\"busName\":\"messenger.bus.default\"}]","Content-Type":"application\/json"}" "default" "2025-03-13 17:08:11" "2025-03-13 17:08:11"] View formatted query View runnable query Explain query INSERT INTO messenger_messages ( body, headers, queue_name, created_at, available_at ) VALUES (?, ?, ?, ?, ?) INSERT INTO messenger_messages (body, headers, queue_name, created_at, available_at) VALUES('{\"payload\":\"{\\\"@context\\\":[\\\"https:\\/\\/join-lemmy.org\\/context.json\\\",\\\"https:\\/\\/www.w3.org\\/ns\\/activitystreams\\\"],\\\"actor\\\":\\\"https:\\/\\/lemmy.world\\/c\\/asklemmy\\\",\\\"to\\\":[\\\"https:\\/\\/www.w3.org\\/ns\\/activitystreams#Public\\\"],\\\"object\\\":{\\\"id\\\":\\\"https:\\/\\/lemmy.world\\/activities\\/create\\/c01a67f7-96c4-481f-9a64-7b899b2439be\\\",\\\"actor\\\":\\\"https:\\/\\/lemmy.world\\/u\\/Brotha_Jaufrey\\\",\\\"to\\\":[\\\"https:\\/\\/www.w3.org\\/ns\\/activitystreams#Public\\\"],\\\"object\\\":{\\\"type\\\":\\\"Note\\\",\\\"id\\\":\\\"https:\\/\\/lemmy.world\\/comment\\/15661044\\\",\\\"attributedTo\\\":\\\"https:\\/\\/lemmy.world\\/u\\/Brotha_Jaufrey\\\",\\\"to\\\":[\\\"https:\\/\\/www.w3.org\\/ns\\/activitystreams#Public\\\"],\\\"cc\\\":[\\\"https:\\/\\/lemmy.world\\/c\\/asklemmy\\\",\\\"https:\\/\\/lemmy.world\\/u\\/zcryj\\\"],\\\"content\\\":\\\"<p>There\\u2019s a few things here.<\\/p>\\\\n<blockquote>\\\\n<p>And given how they rarely invite me back, I guess the feeling is mutual<\\/p>\\\\n<\\/blockquote>\\\\n<p>Based on your language, that\\u2019s an assumption. I know it\\u2019s easy to assume people are uninterested or hate you or whatever, but people also suck at initiating things and are as unsure as you are. It could just be you guys didn\\u2019t vibe, and that\\u2019s fine. Invite them again or wait to see if they show interest again. That\\u2019ll tell you what you need to know.<\\/p>\\\\n<blockquote>\\\\n<p>I am quite cold towards people I don\\u2019t know<\\/p>\\\\n<\\/blockquote>\\\\n<p>I get that completely. I used to be this way, until I started working in a more social environment, then I developed a skill to be fake-charismatic. That might sound exhausting but it does help others feel like you don\\u2019t despite their presence, and they\\u2019ll warm up to you better. And as for the \\u201cfull sales presentation mode\\u201d, I get it. To be honest, asking questions is a great way of stimulating conversation, and it doesn\\u2019t have to be just about work. A good piece of advice is to ask questions you want asked about yourself. People love answering questions, and then they\\u2019ll get curious about you.<\\/p>\\\\n<blockquote>\\\\n<p>Some events seem to have a lot more of \\u201cmy people\\u201d, some less<\\/p>\\\\n<\\/blockquote>\\\\n<p>So, you\\u2019ve found people you can click with, that\\u2019s great news. Now it\\u2019s just a matter of establishing and maintaining connections, inviting people places and doing things that are within both of your interests. But definitely gauge their interest. If they seem to be drifting off, don\\u2019t push them. Also, while being sure to show interest in hanging out, don\\u2019t be the only one showing interest. There\\u2019s people who feed off of treating others like shit while wanting to receive all the attention. You don\\u2019t want people like that in your life. You want a friend who invites you as well.<\\/p>\\\\n<blockquote>\\\\n<p>how could I change this?<\\/p>\\\\n<\\/blockquote>\\\\n<p>You\\u2019re not really doing anything wrong per se. You just need to believe in yourself and have the courage to keep going even if things get tough or you mess up. Because that\\u2019s how you learn! Also, people have their own issues and you can\\u2019t control that. Just keep going at it and with enough time, you\\u2019ll have a great group of your own people.<\\/p>\\\\n<p>Also, adding this at the end, but new friends can be very unsure but still want to invite you. If you ever reject an invite, you need to be the one to invite them next time. Otherwise they\\u2019ll perceive that as you being uninterested in them.<\\/p>\\\\n\\\",\\\"inReplyTo\\\":\\\"https:\\/\\/lemmy.world\\/post\\/26781056\\\",\\\"mediaType\\\":\\\"text\\/html\\\",\\\"source\\\":{\\\"content\\\":\\\"There\'s a few things here.\\\\n\\\\n>And given how they rarely invite me back, I guess the feeling is mutual\\\\n\\\\nBased on your language, that\'s an assumption. I know it\'s easy to assume people are uninterested or hate you or whatever, but people also suck at initiating things and are as unsure as you are. It could just be you guys didn\'t vibe, and that\'s fine. Invite them again or wait to see if they show interest again. That\'ll tell you what you need to know.\\\\n\\\\n>I am quite cold towards people I don\'t know\\\\n\\\\nI get that completely. I used to be this way, until I started working in a more social environment, then I developed a skill to be fake-charismatic. That might sound exhausting but it does help others feel like you don\'t despite their presence, and they\'ll warm up to you better. And as for the \\\\\\\"full sales presentation mode\\\\\\\", I get it. To be honest, asking questions is a great way of stimulating conversation, and it doesn\'t have to be just about work. A good piece of advice is to ask questions you want asked about yourself. People love answering questions, and then they\'ll get curious about you.\\\\n\\\\n>Some events seem to have a lot more of \\\\\\\"my people\\\\\\\", some less\\\\n\\\\nSo, you\'ve found people you can click with, that\'s great news. Now it\'s just a matter of establishing and maintaining connections, inviting people places and doing things that are within both of your interests. But definitely gauge their interest. If they seem to be drifting off, don\'t push them. Also, while being sure to show interest in hanging out, don\'t be the only one showing interest. There\'s people who feed off of treating others like shit while wanting to receive all the attention. You don\'t want people like that in your life. You want a friend who invites you as well.\\\\n\\\\n>how could I change this?\\\\n\\\\nYou\'re not really doing anything wrong per se. You just need to believe in yourself and have the courage to keep going even if things get tough or you mess up. Because that\'s how you learn! Also, people have their own issues and you can\'t control that. Just keep going at it and with enough time, you\'ll have a great group of your own people. \\\\n\\\\nAlso, adding this at the end, but new friends can be very unsure but still want to invite you. If you ever reject an invite, you need to be the one to invite them next time. 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#▲

Time

Info

47.38 ms

INSERT INTO messenger_messages (body, headers, queue_name, created_at, available_at) VALUES(?, ?, ?, ?, ?)

Parameters:

[
  "{"payload":"{\"@context\":[\"https:\/\/join-lemmy.org\/context.json\",\"https:\/\/www.w3.org\/ns\/activitystreams\"],\"actor\":\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/c\/asklemmy\",\"to\":[\"https:\/\/www.w3.org\/ns\/activitystreams#Public\"],\"object\":{\"id\":\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/activities\/create\/c01a67f7-96c4-481f-9a64-7b899b2439be\",\"actor\":\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/u\/Brotha_Jaufrey\",\"to\":[\"https:\/\/www.w3.org\/ns\/activitystreams#Public\"],\"object\":{\"type\":\"Note\",\"id\":\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/comment\/15661044\",\"attributedTo\":\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/u\/Brotha_Jaufrey\",\"to\":[\"https:\/\/www.w3.org\/ns\/activitystreams#Public\"],\"cc\":[\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/c\/asklemmy\",\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/u\/zcryj\"],\"content\":\"<p>There\u2019s a few things here.<\/p>\\n<blockquote>\\n<p>And given how they rarely invite me back, I guess the feeling is mutual<\/p>\\n<\/blockquote>\\n<p>Based on your language, that\u2019s an assumption. I know it\u2019s easy to assume people are uninterested or hate you or whatever, but people also suck at initiating things and are as unsure as you are. It could just be you guys didn\u2019t vibe, and that\u2019s fine. Invite them again or wait to see if they show interest again. That\u2019ll tell you what you need to know.<\/p>\\n<blockquote>\\n<p>I am quite cold towards people I don\u2019t know<\/p>\\n<\/blockquote>\\n<p>I get that completely. I used to be this way, until I started working in a more social environment, then I developed a skill to be fake-charismatic. That might sound exhausting but it does help others feel like you don\u2019t despite their presence, and they\u2019ll warm up to you better. And as for the \u201cfull sales presentation mode\u201d, I get it. To be honest, asking questions is a great way of stimulating conversation, and it doesn\u2019t have to be just about work. A good piece of advice is to ask questions you want asked about yourself. People love answering questions, and then they\u2019ll get curious about you.<\/p>\\n<blockquote>\\n<p>Some events seem to have a lot more of \u201cmy people\u201d, some less<\/p>\\n<\/blockquote>\\n<p>So, you\u2019ve found people you can click with, that\u2019s great news. Now it\u2019s just a matter of establishing and maintaining connections, inviting people places and doing things that are within both of your interests. But definitely gauge their interest. If they seem to be drifting off, don\u2019t push them. Also, while being sure to show interest in hanging out, don\u2019t be the only one showing interest. There\u2019s people who feed off of treating others like shit while wanting to receive all the attention. You don\u2019t want people like that in your life. You want a friend who invites you as well.<\/p>\\n<blockquote>\\n<p>how could I change this?<\/p>\\n<\/blockquote>\\n<p>You\u2019re not really doing anything wrong per se. You just need to believe in yourself and have the courage to keep going even if things get tough or you mess up. Because that\u2019s how you learn! Also, people have their own issues and you can\u2019t control that. Just keep going at it and with enough time, you\u2019ll have a great group of your own people.<\/p>\\n<p>Also, adding this at the end, but new friends can be very unsure but still want to invite you. If you ever reject an invite, you need to be the one to invite them next time. Otherwise they\u2019ll perceive that as you being uninterested in them.<\/p>\\n\",\"inReplyTo\":\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/post\/26781056\",\"mediaType\":\"text\/html\",\"source\":{\"content\":\"There's a few things here.\\n\\n>And given how they rarely invite me back, I guess the feeling is mutual\\n\\nBased on your language, that's an assumption. I know it's easy to assume people are uninterested or hate you or whatever, but people also suck at initiating things and are as unsure as you are. It could just be you guys didn't vibe, and that's fine. Invite them again or wait to see if they show interest again. That'll tell you what you need to know.\\n\\n>I am quite cold towards people I don't know\\n\\nI get that completely. I used to be this way, until I started working in a more social environment, then I developed a skill to be fake-charismatic. That might sound exhausting but it does help others feel like you don't despite their presence, and they'll warm up to you better. And as for the \\\"full sales presentation mode\\\", I get it. To be honest, asking questions is a great way of stimulating conversation, and it doesn't have to be just about work. A good piece of advice is to ask questions you want asked about yourself. People love answering questions, and then they'll get curious about you.\\n\\n>Some events seem to have a lot more of \\\"my people\\\", some less\\n\\nSo, you've found people you can click with, that's great news. Now it's just a matter of establishing and maintaining connections, inviting people places and doing things that are within both of your interests. But definitely gauge their interest. If they seem to be drifting off, don't push them. Also, while being sure to show interest in hanging out, don't be the only one showing interest. There's people who feed off of treating others like shit while wanting to receive all the attention. You don't want people like that in your life. You want a friend who invites you as well.\\n\\n>how could I change this?\\n\\nYou're not really doing anything wrong per se. You just need to believe in yourself and have the courage to keep going even if things get tough or you mess up. Because that's how you learn! Also, people have their own issues and you can't control that. Just keep going at it and with enough time, you'll have a great group of your own people. \\n\\nAlso, adding this at the end, but new friends can be very unsure but still want to invite you. If you ever reject an invite, you need to be the one to invite them next time. Otherwise they'll perceive that as you being uninterested in them.\",\"mediaType\":\"text\/markdown\"},\"published\":\"2025-03-13T17:07:56.549949Z\",\"tag\":[{\"href\":\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/u\/zcryj\",\"name\":\"@zcryj@lemmy.world\",\"type\":\"Mention\"}],\"distinguished\":false,\"audience\":\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/c\/asklemmy\"},\"cc\":[\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/c\/asklemmy\",\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/u\/zcryj\"],\"tag\":[{\"href\":\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/u\/zcryj\",\"name\":\"@zcryj@lemmy.world\",\"type\":\"Mention\"}],\"type\":\"Create\",\"audience\":\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/c\/asklemmy\"},\"cc\":[\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/c\/asklemmy\/followers\"],\"type\":\"Announce\",\"id\":\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/activities\/announce\/create\/aacdb9c0-0164-4e9d-bf14-600722a7bca7\"}","request":{"host":"kbin.spritesserver.nl","method":"POST","uri":"\/f\/inbox","client_ip":"135.181.143.221"},"headers":{"content-type":["application\/activity+json"],"host":["kbin.spritesserver.nl"],"date":["Thu, 13 Mar 2025 17:08:11 GMT"],"digest":["SHA-256=EfVUxOR+8+PepPz1osF\/2xvlIW2cbFDibcPRWN02BnM="],"signature":["keyId=\"https:\/\/lemmy.world\/c\/asklemmy#main-key\",algorithm=\"hs2019\",headers=\"(request-target) content-type date digest host\",signature=\"lc8oiHexEwnf6RHLP\/spvOSn0HFWJF14O6SfXGKIeIMX0pkskLch44Is9LELX74FRFep9LSF8LpnS6RtWClpNDQfeHS3EA9aDoewg+hW0LHLUKhK7lAvspmqxha+W8E8inRKJ3Swb4WvTajwmrDR0QjTMcDKDPktcvyRNpLPvxoJwLV+WccFM8++5dVzSMLbxjeUo\/xmd9VukEyzyFd6FmF9z1FUjoto9iP7ASf8u3mmfKL5FYOYPy7K9L78T0R5YCOc0Q834fZcCfXXgb+hu5Sx9rLWuvnaWYW6WejoRfN9iEQVhenaWH8K3u8hf9LHJcDq85+GVFHMBhusGCi4vg==\""],"accept":["*\/*"],"user-agent":["Lemmy\/0.19.3-4-gc98049af6; +https:\/\/lemmy.world"],"accept-encoding":["gzip"],"content-length":["6335"],"x-php-ob-level":["1"]}}"
  "{"type":"App\\Message\\ActivityPub\\Inbox\\ActivityMessage","X-Message-Stamp-Symfony\\Component\\Messenger\\Stamp\\BusNameStamp":"[{\"busName\":\"messenger.bus.default\"}]","Content-Type":"application\/json"}"
  "default"
  "2025-03-13 17:08:11"
  "2025-03-13 17:08:11"
]

View formatted query View runnable query Explain query

INSERT INTO messenger_messages (
  body, headers, queue_name, created_at,
  available_at
)
VALUES
  (?, ?, ?, ?, ?)

INSERT INTO messenger_messages (body, headers, queue_name, created_at, available_at) VALUES('{\"payload\":\"{\\\"@context\\\":[\\\"https:\\/\\/join-lemmy.org\\/context.json\\\",\\\"https:\\/\\/www.w3.org\\/ns\\/activitystreams\\\"],\\\"actor\\\":\\\"https:\\/\\/lemmy.world\\/c\\/asklemmy\\\",\\\"to\\\":[\\\"https:\\/\\/www.w3.org\\/ns\\/activitystreams#Public\\\"],\\\"object\\\":{\\\"id\\\":\\\"https:\\/\\/lemmy.world\\/activities\\/create\\/c01a67f7-96c4-481f-9a64-7b899b2439be\\\",\\\"actor\\\":\\\"https:\\/\\/lemmy.world\\/u\\/Brotha_Jaufrey\\\",\\\"to\\\":[\\\"https:\\/\\/www.w3.org\\/ns\\/activitystreams#Public\\\"],\\\"object\\\":{\\\"type\\\":\\\"Note\\\",\\\"id\\\":\\\"https:\\/\\/lemmy.world\\/comment\\/15661044\\\",\\\"attributedTo\\\":\\\"https:\\/\\/lemmy.world\\/u\\/Brotha_Jaufrey\\\",\\\"to\\\":[\\\"https:\\/\\/www.w3.org\\/ns\\/activitystreams#Public\\\"],\\\"cc\\\":[\\\"https:\\/\\/lemmy.world\\/c\\/asklemmy\\\",\\\"https:\\/\\/lemmy.world\\/u\\/zcryj\\\"],\\\"content\\\":\\\"<p>There\\u2019s a few things here.<\\/p>\\\\n<blockquote>\\\\n<p>And given how they rarely invite me back, I guess the feeling is mutual<\\/p>\\\\n<\\/blockquote>\\\\n<p>Based on your language, that\\u2019s an assumption. I know it\\u2019s easy to assume people are uninterested or hate you or whatever, but people also suck at initiating things and are as unsure as you are. It could just be you guys didn\\u2019t vibe, and that\\u2019s fine. Invite them again or wait to see if they show interest again. That\\u2019ll tell you what you need to know.<\\/p>\\\\n<blockquote>\\\\n<p>I am quite cold towards people I don\\u2019t know<\\/p>\\\\n<\\/blockquote>\\\\n<p>I get that completely. I used to be this way, until I started working in a more social environment, then I developed a skill to be fake-charismatic. That might sound exhausting but it does help others feel like you don\\u2019t despite their presence, and they\\u2019ll warm up to you better. And as for the \\u201cfull sales presentation mode\\u201d, I get it. To be honest, asking questions is a great way of stimulating conversation, and it doesn\\u2019t have to be just about work. A good piece of advice is to ask questions you want asked about yourself. People love answering questions, and then they\\u2019ll get curious about you.<\\/p>\\\\n<blockquote>\\\\n<p>Some events seem to have a lot more of \\u201cmy people\\u201d, some less<\\/p>\\\\n<\\/blockquote>\\\\n<p>So, you\\u2019ve found people you can click with, that\\u2019s great news. Now it\\u2019s just a matter of establishing and maintaining connections, inviting people places and doing things that are within both of your interests. But definitely gauge their interest. If they seem to be drifting off, don\\u2019t push them. Also, while being sure to show interest in hanging out, don\\u2019t be the only one showing interest. There\\u2019s people who feed off of treating others like shit while wanting to receive all the attention. You don\\u2019t want people like that in your life. You want a friend who invites you as well.<\\/p>\\\\n<blockquote>\\\\n<p>how could I change this?<\\/p>\\\\n<\\/blockquote>\\\\n<p>You\\u2019re not really doing anything wrong per se. You just need to believe in yourself and have the courage to keep going even if things get tough or you mess up. Because that\\u2019s how you learn! Also, people have their own issues and you can\\u2019t control that. Just keep going at it and with enough time, you\\u2019ll have a great group of your own people.<\\/p>\\\\n<p>Also, adding this at the end, but new friends can be very unsure but still want to invite you. If you ever reject an invite, you need to be the one to invite them next time. Otherwise they\\u2019ll perceive that as you being uninterested in them.<\\/p>\\\\n\\\",\\\"inReplyTo\\\":\\\"https:\\/\\/lemmy.world\\/post\\/26781056\\\",\\\"mediaType\\\":\\\"text\\/html\\\",\\\"source\\\":{\\\"content\\\":\\\"There\'s a few things here.\\\\n\\\\n>And given how they rarely invite me back, I guess the feeling is mutual\\\\n\\\\nBased on your language, that\'s an assumption. I know it\'s easy to assume people are uninterested or hate you or whatever, but people also suck at initiating things and are as unsure as you are. It could just be you guys didn\'t vibe, and that\'s fine. Invite them again or wait to see if they show interest again. That\'ll tell you what you need to know.\\\\n\\\\n>I am quite cold towards people I don\'t know\\\\n\\\\nI get that completely. I used to be this way, until I started working in a more social environment, then I developed a skill to be fake-charismatic. That might sound exhausting but it does help others feel like you don\'t despite their presence, and they\'ll warm up to you better. And as for the \\\\\\\"full sales presentation mode\\\\\\\", I get it. To be honest, asking questions is a great way of stimulating conversation, and it doesn\'t have to be just about work. A good piece of advice is to ask questions you want asked about yourself. People love answering questions, and then they\'ll get curious about you.\\\\n\\\\n>Some events seem to have a lot more of \\\\\\\"my people\\\\\\\", some less\\\\n\\\\nSo, you\'ve found people you can click with, that\'s great news. Now it\'s just a matter of establishing and maintaining connections, inviting people places and doing things that are within both of your interests. But definitely gauge their interest. If they seem to be drifting off, don\'t push them. Also, while being sure to show interest in hanging out, don\'t be the only one showing interest. There\'s people who feed off of treating others like shit while wanting to receive all the attention. You don\'t want people like that in your life. You want a friend who invites you as well.\\\\n\\\\n>how could I change this?\\\\n\\\\nYou\'re not really doing anything wrong per se. You just need to believe in yourself and have the courage to keep going even if things get tough or you mess up. Because that\'s how you learn! Also, people have their own issues and you can\'t control that. Just keep going at it and with enough time, you\'ll have a great group of your own people. \\\\n\\\\nAlso, adding this at the end, but new friends can be very unsure but still want to invite you. If you ever reject an invite, you need to be the one to invite them next time. Otherwise they\'ll perceive that as you being uninterested in them.\\\",\\\"mediaType\\\":\\\"text\\/markdown\\\"},\\\"published\\\":\\\"2025-03-13T17:07:56.549949Z\\\",\\\"tag\\\":[{\\\"href\\\":\\\"https:\\/\\/lemmy.world\\/u\\/zcryj\\\",\\\"name\\\":\\\"@zcryj@lemmy.world\\\",\\\"type\\\":\\\"Mention\\\"}],\\\"distinguished\\\":false,\\\"audience\\\":\\\"https:\\/\\/lemmy.world\\/c\\/asklemmy\\\"},\\\"cc\\\":[\\\"https:\\/\\/lemmy.world\\/c\\/asklemmy\\\",\\\"https:\\/\\/lemmy.world\\/u\\/zcryj\\\"],\\\"tag\\\":[{\\\"href\\\":\\\"https:\\/\\/lemmy.world\\/u\\/zcryj\\\",\\\"name\\\":\\\"@zcryj@lemmy.world\\\",\\\"type\\\":\\\"Mention\\\"}],\\\"type\\\":\\\"Create\\\",\\\"audience\\\":\\\"https:\\/\\/lemmy.world\\/c\\/asklemmy\\\"},\\\"cc\\\":[\\\"https:\\/\\/lemmy.world\\/c\\/asklemmy\\/followers\\\"],\\\"type\\\":\\\"Announce\\\",\\\"id\\\":\\\"https:\\/\\/lemmy.world\\/activities\\/announce\\/create\\/aacdb9c0-0164-4e9d-bf14-600722a7bca7\\\"}\",\"request\":{\"host\":\"kbin.spritesserver.nl\",\"method\":\"POST\",\"uri\":\"\\/f\\/inbox\",\"client_ip\":\"135.181.143.221\"},\"headers\":{\"content-type\":[\"application\\/activity+json\"],\"host\":[\"kbin.spritesserver.nl\"],\"date\":[\"Thu, 13 Mar 2025 17:08:11 GMT\"],\"digest\":[\"SHA-256=EfVUxOR+8+PepPz1osF\\/2xvlIW2cbFDibcPRWN02BnM=\"],\"signature\":[\"keyId=\\\"https:\\/\\/lemmy.world\\/c\\/asklemmy#main-key\\\",algorithm=\\\"hs2019\\\",headers=\\\"(request-target) content-type date digest host\\\",signature=\\\"lc8oiHexEwnf6RHLP\\/spvOSn0HFWJF14O6SfXGKIeIMX0pkskLch44Is9LELX74FRFep9LSF8LpnS6RtWClpNDQfeHS3EA9aDoewg+hW0LHLUKhK7lAvspmqxha+W8E8inRKJ3Swb4WvTajwmrDR0QjTMcDKDPktcvyRNpLPvxoJwLV+WccFM8++5dVzSMLbxjeUo\\/xmd9VukEyzyFd6FmF9z1FUjoto9iP7ASf8u3mmfKL5FYOYPy7K9L78T0R5YCOc0Q834fZcCfXXgb+hu5Sx9rLWuvnaWYW6WejoRfN9iEQVhenaWH8K3u8hf9LHJcDq85+GVFHMBhusGCi4vg==\\\"\"],\"accept\":[\"*\\/*\"],\"user-agent\":[\"Lemmy\\/0.19.3-4-gc98049af6; +https:\\/\\/lemmy.world\"],\"accept-encoding\":[\"gzip\"],\"content-length\":[\"6335\"],\"x-php-ob-level\":[\"1\"]}}', '{\"type\":\"App\\\\Message\\\\ActivityPub\\\\Inbox\\\\ActivityMessage\",\"X-Message-Stamp-Symfony\\\\Component\\\\Messenger\\\\Stamp\\\\BusNameStamp\":\"[{\\\"busName\\\":\\\"messenger.bus.default\\\"}]\",\"Content-Type\":\"application\\/json\"}', 'default', '2025-03-13 17:08:11', '2025-03-13 17:08:11');

Database Connections

Name	Service
default	doctrine.dbal.default_connection

Entity Managers

Name	Service
default	doctrine.orm.default_entity_manager

Second Level Cache

0 Hits

0 Misses

0 Puts

Entities Mapping

No loaded entities.

Symfony Profiler

POST https://kbin.spritesserver.nl/f/inbox

Configuration Settings

Theme