Symfony Profiler

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            "content": "<blockquote>\n<p>But the problem is that I basically internally self reinforce to keep myself vaguely sane and any help I could get would be at best ineffective or at worst outright damaging.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>I used to think the same thing and I\u2019m not trying to say this <em>has to<\/em> apply to everyone but at some point I realized my mental illness whispering to me \u201cthere is no help for you\u201d is about as trustworthy as addiction whispering \u201cone more can\u2019t hurt\u201d.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p>Core problem is that all of the damage was done in childhood and only started to manifest particularly badly when I became an adult. Namely my hatred for authority which makes getting and keeping a job a right pain.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>I recognize this part from my own past as well. My hatred for authority also meant I lived life without any inner guidance. Always late, everything messy, horrible eating\/sleeping schedule. For me reconnecting with my own authority towards myself (true authority that is soft and understanding but not neglegient) basically made the issues with external authority figures in my adult life melt away. It was never about those.<\/p>\n<p>The rest like I said happened on a spiritual level. In my personal, lived experience the mind can fracture, scar, become inflamed and even rot but the soul always remains whole. It just gets buried below the trauma and needs to be unearthed.<\/p>\n",
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                "content": "> But the problem is that I basically internally self reinforce to keep myself vaguely sane and any help I could get would be at best ineffective or at worst outright damaging.\n\nI used to think the same thing and I'm not trying to say this *has to* apply to everyone but at some point I realized my mental illness whispering to me \"there is no help for you\" is about as trustworthy as addiction whispering \"one more can't hurt\".\n\n> Core problem is that all of the damage was done in childhood and only started to manifest particularly badly when I became an adult. Namely my hatred for authority which makes getting and keeping a job a right pain.\n\nI recognize this part from my own past as well. My hatred for authority also meant I lived life without any inner guidance. Always late, everything messy, horrible eating\/sleeping schedule. For me reconnecting with my own authority towards myself (true authority that is soft and understanding but not neglegient) basically made the issues with external authority figures in my adult life melt away. It was never about those.\n\nThe rest like I said happened on a spiritual level. In my personal, lived experience the mind can fracture, scar, become inflamed and even rot but the soul always remains whole. It just gets buried below the trauma and needs to be unearthed.",
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