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Access Decision

affirmative Strategy
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 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
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 ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
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      ---\n
      \n
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      -----\n
      \n
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      \n
      Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
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      \n
      No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
      \n
      ---\n
      \n
      ##### Recommended Reading\n
      \n
      - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
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      ##### Related Communities\n
      \n
      !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
      !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
      !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
      \n
      ---
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 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
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 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
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 ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
3 DENIED edit 
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      \n
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      No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
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      ##### Recommended Reading\n
      \n
      - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
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      \n
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      !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
      !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
      \n
      ---
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 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
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 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
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Show voter details
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      ---\n
      \n
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      Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
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      \n
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      \n
      No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
      \n
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      ##### Recommended Reading\n
      \n
      - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
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        Rules\n
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        ---
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        Rules\n
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        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
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        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
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        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
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        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
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        Rules\n
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        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
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        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
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        ---\n
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        Rules\n
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        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
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        \n
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
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        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
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        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
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        \n
        ---\n
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        ##### Related Communities\n
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        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
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        \n
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        \n
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        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
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        ##### Recommended Reading\n
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
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        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
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        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
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        ---\n
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        ##### Recommended Reading\n
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        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
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        \n
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        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
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        \n
        ---\n
        \n
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        ---
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
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        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
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        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
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        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
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        \n
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        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
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        ---\n
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        Rules\n
        -----\n
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        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
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        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
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        ---
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        \n
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        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
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        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
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        \n
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        \n
        ---
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        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
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        \n
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        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
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        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
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        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
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        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
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        \n
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        \n
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
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        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
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        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
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        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
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    > There are reasons to do with the history of this particular literary form, as well. It may be that, for a number of fair reasons, women are allowed to denigrate men in print, but not the other way around. “I think some of the things I get away with saying about men would seem a bit gross from guys, because of the obvious power imbalance,” Annie Lord, British Vogue’s dating columnist, told me. Women can write about dating because on a heterosexual date, society generally accepts that women are the underdogs.\n
    \n
    Perhaps the presumption that the same privileges equally translate to different contexts plays a part. I don’t see any “fair reasons” listed here. I see a group that is allowed to say negative things about one, and another that is shut down for the same thing (but that they have fair reasons to be allowed to). Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
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        ---\n
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        ##### Recommended Reading\n
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        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
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        \n
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        ---
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
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        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
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        Rules\n
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        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
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      On any dating advise site/community I don’t exactly see women as the “underdogs” with regard to support and who is ‘right’ in any given situation. The first examples that come to mind are reddits dating advice and “AITA” subs where I’ve seen more than enough examples of the old “switching genders completely changed people’s opinions” posts to not feel comfortable there.
      """
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    > Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
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    I think this is a fair point and we should really avoid denigrating everyone. However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful. There are differences we just need to recognize that one isn't better or more correct than the other.\n
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
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        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
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      > There are reasons to do with the history of this particular literary form, as well. It may be that, for a number of fair reasons, women are allowed to denigrate men in print, but not the other way around. “I think some of the things I get away with saying about men would seem a bit gross from guys, because of the obvious power imbalance,” Annie Lord, British Vogue’s dating columnist, told me. Women can write about dating because on a heterosexual date, society generally accepts that women are the underdogs.\n
      \n
      Perhaps the presumption that the same privileges equally translate to different contexts plays a part. I don’t see any “fair reasons” listed here. I see a group that is allowed to say negative things about one, and another that is shut down for the same thing (but that they have fair reasons to be allowed to). Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
      \n
      On any dating advise site/community I don’t exactly see women as the “underdogs” with regard to support and who is ‘right’ in any given situation. The first examples that come to mind are reddits dating advice and “AITA” subs where I’ve seen more than enough examples of the old “switching genders completely changed people’s opinions” posts to not feel comfortable there.
      """
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    > Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
    \n
    I think this is a fair point and we should really avoid denigrating everyone. However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful. There are differences we just need to recognize that one isn't better or more correct than the other.\n
    \n
    P.S. the AITA subs are always kind of a mess. Especially with people justifying their terrible behavior.
    """
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
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        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
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      > There are reasons to do with the history of this particular literary form, as well. It may be that, for a number of fair reasons, women are allowed to denigrate men in print, but not the other way around. “I think some of the things I get away with saying about men would seem a bit gross from guys, because of the obvious power imbalance,” Annie Lord, British Vogue’s dating columnist, told me. Women can write about dating because on a heterosexual date, society generally accepts that women are the underdogs.\n
      \n
      Perhaps the presumption that the same privileges equally translate to different contexts plays a part. I don’t see any “fair reasons” listed here. I see a group that is allowed to say negative things about one, and another that is shut down for the same thing (but that they have fair reasons to be allowed to). Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
      \n
      On any dating advise site/community I don’t exactly see women as the “underdogs” with regard to support and who is ‘right’ in any given situation. The first examples that come to mind are reddits dating advice and “AITA” subs where I’ve seen more than enough examples of the old “switching genders completely changed people’s opinions” posts to not feel comfortable there.
      """
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    > Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
    \n
    I think this is a fair point and we should really avoid denigrating everyone. However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful. There are differences we just need to recognize that one isn't better or more correct than the other.\n
    \n
    P.S. the AITA subs are always kind of a mess. Especially with people justifying their terrible behavior.
    """
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
        \n
        Assume good faith— Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question. —\n
        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
        """
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        > There are reasons to do with the history of this particular literary form, as well. It may be that, for a number of fair reasons, women are allowed to denigrate men in print, but not the other way around. “I think some of the things I get away with saying about men would seem a bit gross from guys, because of the obvious power imbalance,” Annie Lord, British Vogue’s dating columnist, told me. Women can write about dating because on a heterosexual date, society generally accepts that women are the underdogs.\n
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        Perhaps the presumption that the same privileges equally translate to different contexts plays a part. I don’t see any “fair reasons” listed here. I see a group that is allowed to say negative things about one, and another that is shut down for the same thing (but that they have fair reasons to be allowed to). Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
        \n
        On any dating advise site/community I don’t exactly see women as the “underdogs” with regard to support and who is ‘right’ in any given situation. The first examples that come to mind are reddits dating advice and “AITA” subs where I’ve seen more than enough examples of the old “switching genders completely changed people’s opinions” posts to not feel comfortable there.
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      > Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
      \n
      I think this is a fair point and we should really avoid denigrating everyone. However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful. There are differences we just need to recognize that one isn't better or more correct than the other.\n
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
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        \n
        Assume good faith— Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question. —\n
        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
        """
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        > There are reasons to do with the history of this particular literary form, as well. It may be that, for a number of fair reasons, women are allowed to denigrate men in print, but not the other way around. “I think some of the things I get away with saying about men would seem a bit gross from guys, because of the obvious power imbalance,” Annie Lord, British Vogue’s dating columnist, told me. Women can write about dating because on a heterosexual date, society generally accepts that women are the underdogs.\n
        \n
        Perhaps the presumption that the same privileges equally translate to different contexts plays a part. I don’t see any “fair reasons” listed here. I see a group that is allowed to say negative things about one, and another that is shut down for the same thing (but that they have fair reasons to be allowed to). Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
        \n
        On any dating advise site/community I don’t exactly see women as the “underdogs” with regard to support and who is ‘right’ in any given situation. The first examples that come to mind are reddits dating advice and “AITA” subs where I’ve seen more than enough examples of the old “switching genders completely changed people’s opinions” posts to not feel comfortable there.
        """
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      > Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
      \n
      I think this is a fair point and we should really avoid denigrating everyone. However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful. There are differences we just need to recognize that one isn't better or more correct than the other.\n
      \n
      P.S. the AITA subs are always kind of a mess. Especially with people justifying their terrible behavior.
      """
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  +body: "The AITA subs are mostly exercises in short fiction."
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      +name: "mensliberation@lemmy.ca"
      +title: "mensliberation"
      +description: """
        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
        \n
        Assume good faith— Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question. —\n
        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
        """
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        > There are reasons to do with the history of this particular literary form, as well. It may be that, for a number of fair reasons, women are allowed to denigrate men in print, but not the other way around. “I think some of the things I get away with saying about men would seem a bit gross from guys, because of the obvious power imbalance,” Annie Lord, British Vogue’s dating columnist, told me. Women can write about dating because on a heterosexual date, society generally accepts that women are the underdogs.\n
        \n
        Perhaps the presumption that the same privileges equally translate to different contexts plays a part. I don’t see any “fair reasons” listed here. I see a group that is allowed to say negative things about one, and another that is shut down for the same thing (but that they have fair reasons to be allowed to). Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
        \n
        On any dating advise site/community I don’t exactly see women as the “underdogs” with regard to support and who is ‘right’ in any given situation. The first examples that come to mind are reddits dating advice and “AITA” subs where I’ve seen more than enough examples of the old “switching genders completely changed people’s opinions” posts to not feel comfortable there.
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      > Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
      \n
      I think this is a fair point and we should really avoid denigrating everyone. However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful. There are differences we just need to recognize that one isn't better or more correct than the other.\n
      \n
      P.S. the AITA subs are always kind of a mess. Especially with people justifying their terrible behavior.
      """
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
        \n
        Assume good faith— Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question. —\n
        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
        """
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        > There are reasons to do with the history of this particular literary form, as well. It may be that, for a number of fair reasons, women are allowed to denigrate men in print, but not the other way around. “I think some of the things I get away with saying about men would seem a bit gross from guys, because of the obvious power imbalance,” Annie Lord, British Vogue’s dating columnist, told me. Women can write about dating because on a heterosexual date, society generally accepts that women are the underdogs.\n
        \n
        Perhaps the presumption that the same privileges equally translate to different contexts plays a part. I don’t see any “fair reasons” listed here. I see a group that is allowed to say negative things about one, and another that is shut down for the same thing (but that they have fair reasons to be allowed to). Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
        \n
        On any dating advise site/community I don’t exactly see women as the “underdogs” with regard to support and who is ‘right’ in any given situation. The first examples that come to mind are reddits dating advice and “AITA” subs where I’ve seen more than enough examples of the old “switching genders completely changed people’s opinions” posts to not feel comfortable there.
        """
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    +body: """
      > Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
      \n
      I think this is a fair point and we should really avoid denigrating everyone. However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful. There are differences we just need to recognize that one isn't better or more correct than the other.\n
      \n
      P.S. the AITA subs are always kind of a mess. Especially with people justifying their terrible behavior.
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  +body: "AITA is garbage because it isn’t about finding the best course of action but about whether you can pretend that your behaviour is justified, which is not helpful."
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      +icon: null
      +name: "mensliberation@lemmy.ca"
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      +description: """
        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
        \n
        Assume good faith— Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question. —\n
        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
        """
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        > There are reasons to do with the history of this particular literary form, as well. It may be that, for a number of fair reasons, women are allowed to denigrate men in print, but not the other way around. “I think some of the things I get away with saying about men would seem a bit gross from guys, because of the obvious power imbalance,” Annie Lord, British Vogue’s dating columnist, told me. Women can write about dating because on a heterosexual date, society generally accepts that women are the underdogs.\n
        \n
        Perhaps the presumption that the same privileges equally translate to different contexts plays a part. I don’t see any “fair reasons” listed here. I see a group that is allowed to say negative things about one, and another that is shut down for the same thing (but that they have fair reasons to be allowed to). Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
        \n
        On any dating advise site/community I don’t exactly see women as the “underdogs” with regard to support and who is ‘right’ in any given situation. The first examples that come to mind are reddits dating advice and “AITA” subs where I’ve seen more than enough examples of the old “switching genders completely changed people’s opinions” posts to not feel comfortable there.
        """
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      > Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
      \n
      I think this is a fair point and we should really avoid denigrating everyone. However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful. There are differences we just need to recognize that one isn't better or more correct than the other.\n
      \n
      P.S. the AITA subs are always kind of a mess. Especially with people justifying their terrible behavior.
      """
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  +body: "AITA is garbage because it isn’t about finding the best course of action but about whether you can pretend that your behaviour is justified, which is not helpful."
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      +name: "mensliberation@lemmy.ca"
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      +description: """
        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
        \n
        Assume good faith— Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question. —\n
        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
        """
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    +body: "Men do think about matters of the heart, but writing about it publicly could be seen as undignified, says journalist Imogen West-Knights"
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        > There are reasons to do with the history of this particular literary form, as well. It may be that, for a number of fair reasons, women are allowed to denigrate men in print, but not the other way around. “I think some of the things I get away with saying about men would seem a bit gross from guys, because of the obvious power imbalance,” Annie Lord, British Vogue’s dating columnist, told me. Women can write about dating because on a heterosexual date, society generally accepts that women are the underdogs.\n
        \n
        Perhaps the presumption that the same privileges equally translate to different contexts plays a part. I don’t see any “fair reasons” listed here. I see a group that is allowed to say negative things about one, and another that is shut down for the same thing (but that they have fair reasons to be allowed to). Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
        \n
        On any dating advise site/community I don’t exactly see women as the “underdogs” with regard to support and who is ‘right’ in any given situation. The first examples that come to mind are reddits dating advice and “AITA” subs where I’ve seen more than enough examples of the old “switching genders completely changed people’s opinions” posts to not feel comfortable there.
        """
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      > Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
      \n
      I think this is a fair point and we should really avoid denigrating everyone. However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful. There are differences we just need to recognize that one isn't better or more correct than the other.\n
      \n
      P.S. the AITA subs are always kind of a mess. Especially with people justifying their terrible behavior.
      """
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  +body: "AITA is garbage because it isn’t about finding the best course of action but about whether you can pretend that your behaviour is justified, which is not helpful."
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54 DENIED moderate 
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
        \n
        Assume good faith— Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question. —\n
        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
        """
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        > There are reasons to do with the history of this particular literary form, as well. It may be that, for a number of fair reasons, women are allowed to denigrate men in print, but not the other way around. “I think some of the things I get away with saying about men would seem a bit gross from guys, because of the obvious power imbalance,” Annie Lord, British Vogue’s dating columnist, told me. Women can write about dating because on a heterosexual date, society generally accepts that women are the underdogs.\n
        \n
        Perhaps the presumption that the same privileges equally translate to different contexts plays a part. I don’t see any “fair reasons” listed here. I see a group that is allowed to say negative things about one, and another that is shut down for the same thing (but that they have fair reasons to be allowed to). Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
        \n
        On any dating advise site/community I don’t exactly see women as the “underdogs” with regard to support and who is ‘right’ in any given situation. The first examples that come to mind are reddits dating advice and “AITA” subs where I’ve seen more than enough examples of the old “switching genders completely changed people’s opinions” posts to not feel comfortable there.
        """
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        date: 2024-01-05 20:51:38.0 +01:00
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    +body: """
      > Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
      \n
      I think this is a fair point and we should really avoid denigrating everyone. However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful. There are differences we just need to recognize that one isn't better or more correct than the other.\n
      \n
      P.S. the AITA subs are always kind of a mess. Especially with people justifying their terrible behavior.
      """
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  +body: """
    > However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful.\n
    \n
    This is part of what I was saying in the first bit. There are absolutely differences in genders that should be recognized and respected. But context is key. Assuming women are the “underdogs in heterosexual dating” that does not translate to talk *about* dating. In the context of dating advice and online discussions about relationships, I very much disagree that women are underdogs. But the author is using this, presumably, to support the prior sentence’s argument that women can “fairly” denigrate men in print for this reason.
    """
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55 DENIED edit 
App\Entity\EntryComment {#5000
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      +icon: null
      +name: "mensliberation@lemmy.ca"
      +title: "mensliberation"
      +description: """
        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
        \n
        Assume good faith— Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question. —\n
        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
        """
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        > There are reasons to do with the history of this particular literary form, as well. It may be that, for a number of fair reasons, women are allowed to denigrate men in print, but not the other way around. “I think some of the things I get away with saying about men would seem a bit gross from guys, because of the obvious power imbalance,” Annie Lord, British Vogue’s dating columnist, told me. Women can write about dating because on a heterosexual date, society generally accepts that women are the underdogs.\n
        \n
        Perhaps the presumption that the same privileges equally translate to different contexts plays a part. I don’t see any “fair reasons” listed here. I see a group that is allowed to say negative things about one, and another that is shut down for the same thing (but that they have fair reasons to be allowed to). Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
        \n
        On any dating advise site/community I don’t exactly see women as the “underdogs” with regard to support and who is ‘right’ in any given situation. The first examples that come to mind are reddits dating advice and “AITA” subs where I’ve seen more than enough examples of the old “switching genders completely changed people’s opinions” posts to not feel comfortable there.
        """
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    +body: """
      > Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
      \n
      I think this is a fair point and we should really avoid denigrating everyone. However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful. There are differences we just need to recognize that one isn't better or more correct than the other.\n
      \n
      P.S. the AITA subs are always kind of a mess. Especially with people justifying their terrible behavior.
      """
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    > However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful.\n
    \n
    This is part of what I was saying in the first bit. There are absolutely differences in genders that should be recognized and respected. But context is key. Assuming women are the “underdogs in heterosexual dating” that does not translate to talk *about* dating. In the context of dating advice and online discussions about relationships, I very much disagree that women are underdogs. But the author is using this, presumably, to support the prior sentence’s argument that women can “fairly” denigrate men in print for this reason.
    """
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    +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266
      +icon: null
      +name: "mensliberation@lemmy.ca"
      +title: "mensliberation"
      +description: """
        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
        \n
        Assume good faith— Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question. —\n
        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
        """
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    +slug: "Why-do-hardly-any-straight-men-write-about-sex-and"
    +title: "Why do hardly any straight men write about sex and dating? | Imogen West-Knights"
    +url: "https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/jan/29/hardly-any-straight-men-write-about-sex-and-dating"
    +body: "Men do think about matters of the heart, but writing about it publicly could be seen as undignified, says journalist Imogen West-Knights"
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      date: 2024-01-05 20:15:23.0 +01:00
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        > There are reasons to do with the history of this particular literary form, as well. It may be that, for a number of fair reasons, women are allowed to denigrate men in print, but not the other way around. “I think some of the things I get away with saying about men would seem a bit gross from guys, because of the obvious power imbalance,” Annie Lord, British Vogue’s dating columnist, told me. Women can write about dating because on a heterosexual date, society generally accepts that women are the underdogs.\n
        \n
        Perhaps the presumption that the same privileges equally translate to different contexts plays a part. I don’t see any “fair reasons” listed here. I see a group that is allowed to say negative things about one, and another that is shut down for the same thing (but that they have fair reasons to be allowed to). Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
        \n
        On any dating advise site/community I don’t exactly see women as the “underdogs” with regard to support and who is ‘right’ in any given situation. The first examples that come to mind are reddits dating advice and “AITA” subs where I’ve seen more than enough examples of the old “switching genders completely changed people’s opinions” posts to not feel comfortable there.
        """
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      > Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
      \n
      I think this is a fair point and we should really avoid denigrating everyone. However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful. There are differences we just need to recognize that one isn't better or more correct than the other.\n
      \n
      P.S. the AITA subs are always kind of a mess. Especially with people justifying their terrible behavior.
      """
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  +root: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4443}
  +body: """
    > However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful.\n
    \n
    This is part of what I was saying in the first bit. There are absolutely differences in genders that should be recognized and respected. But context is key. Assuming women are the “underdogs in heterosexual dating” that does not translate to talk *about* dating. In the context of dating advice and online discussions about relationships, I very much disagree that women are underdogs. But the author is using this, presumably, to support the prior sentence’s argument that women can “fairly” denigrate men in print for this reason.
    """
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58 DENIED moderate 
App\Entity\EntryComment {#5062
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    +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266
      +icon: null
      +name: "mensliberation@lemmy.ca"
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
        \n
        Assume good faith— Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question. —\n
        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
        """
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        +body: """
          > There are reasons to do with the history of this particular literary form, as well. It may be that, for a number of fair reasons, women are allowed to denigrate men in print, but not the other way around. “I think some of the things I get away with saying about men would seem a bit gross from guys, because of the obvious power imbalance,” Annie Lord, British Vogue’s dating columnist, told me. Women can write about dating because on a heterosexual date, society generally accepts that women are the underdogs.\n
          \n
          Perhaps the presumption that the same privileges equally translate to different contexts plays a part. I don’t see any “fair reasons” listed here. I see a group that is allowed to say negative things about one, and another that is shut down for the same thing (but that they have fair reasons to be allowed to). Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
          \n
          On any dating advise site/community I don’t exactly see women as the “underdogs” with regard to support and who is ‘right’ in any given situation. The first examples that come to mind are reddits dating advice and “AITA” subs where I’ve seen more than enough examples of the old “switching genders completely changed people’s opinions” posts to not feel comfortable there.
          """
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        > Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
        \n
        I think this is a fair point and we should really avoid denigrating everyone. However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful. There are differences we just need to recognize that one isn't better or more correct than the other.\n
        \n
        P.S. the AITA subs are always kind of a mess. Especially with people justifying their terrible behavior.
        """
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    +body: """
      > However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful.\n
      \n
      This is part of what I was saying in the first bit. There are absolutely differences in genders that should be recognized and respected. But context is key. Assuming women are the “underdogs in heterosexual dating” that does not translate to talk *about* dating. In the context of dating advice and online discussions about relationships, I very much disagree that women are underdogs. But the author is using this, presumably, to support the prior sentence’s argument that women can “fairly” denigrate men in print for this reason.
      """
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  +body: """
    But also, we’re not talking about dating, we’re talking about sex, and women are the definite underdogs when it comes to sex, or at least casual sex. The stats on who gets to orgasm through casual sex are just abysmal for heterosexual women… Maybe we all would benefit from sex columns for men more than we’d like to admit.\n
    \n
    The amount of false info around, " it’s just much harder for women to orgasm" and " a lot of women simply cannot orgasm no matter what" is pretty easily disproven by orgasm rates in homosexual female couples, which leads me to believe it’s the men in the equation that lead to women having trouble orgasming, not some inevitability.\n
    \n
    And this is all women are clear underdogs in sex before you even touch on the difference in dangers to men v women with sex /sexual violence/ coersion
    """
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      +icon: null
      +name: "mensliberation@lemmy.ca"
      +title: "mensliberation"
      +description: """
        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
        \n
        Assume good faith— Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question. —\n
        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
        """
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  +parent: App\Entity\EntryComment {#5000
    +user: App\Entity\User {#4456 …}
    +entry: App\Entity\Entry {#2406}
    +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266}
    +image: null
    +parent: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4854
      +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1897 …}
      +entry: App\Entity\Entry {#2406}
      +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266}
      +image: null
      +parent: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4443
        +user: App\Entity\User {#4456 …}
        +entry: App\Entity\Entry {#2406}
        +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266}
        +image: null
        +parent: null
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        +body: """
          > There are reasons to do with the history of this particular literary form, as well. It may be that, for a number of fair reasons, women are allowed to denigrate men in print, but not the other way around. “I think some of the things I get away with saying about men would seem a bit gross from guys, because of the obvious power imbalance,” Annie Lord, British Vogue’s dating columnist, told me. Women can write about dating because on a heterosexual date, society generally accepts that women are the underdogs.\n
          \n
          Perhaps the presumption that the same privileges equally translate to different contexts plays a part. I don’t see any “fair reasons” listed here. I see a group that is allowed to say negative things about one, and another that is shut down for the same thing (but that they have fair reasons to be allowed to). Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
          \n
          On any dating advise site/community I don’t exactly see women as the “underdogs” with regard to support and who is ‘right’ in any given situation. The first examples that come to mind are reddits dating advice and “AITA” subs where I’ve seen more than enough examples of the old “switching genders completely changed people’s opinions” posts to not feel comfortable there.
          """
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          date: 2024-01-05 20:51:38.0 +01:00
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      +body: """
        > Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
        \n
        I think this is a fair point and we should really avoid denigrating everyone. However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful. There are differences we just need to recognize that one isn't better or more correct than the other.\n
        \n
        P.S. the AITA subs are always kind of a mess. Especially with people justifying their terrible behavior.
        """
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    +body: """
      > However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful.\n
      \n
      This is part of what I was saying in the first bit. There are absolutely differences in genders that should be recognized and respected. But context is key. Assuming women are the “underdogs in heterosexual dating” that does not translate to talk *about* dating. In the context of dating advice and online discussions about relationships, I very much disagree that women are underdogs. But the author is using this, presumably, to support the prior sentence’s argument that women can “fairly” denigrate men in print for this reason.
      """
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  +body: """
    But also, we’re not talking about dating, we’re talking about sex, and women are the definite underdogs when it comes to sex, or at least casual sex. The stats on who gets to orgasm through casual sex are just abysmal for heterosexual women… Maybe we all would benefit from sex columns for men more than we’d like to admit.\n
    \n
    The amount of false info around, " it’s just much harder for women to orgasm" and " a lot of women simply cannot orgasm no matter what" is pretty easily disproven by orgasm rates in homosexual female couples, which leads me to believe it’s the men in the equation that lead to women having trouble orgasming, not some inevitability.\n
    \n
    And this is all women are clear underdogs in sex before you even touch on the difference in dangers to men v women with sex /sexual violence/ coersion
    """
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}
 
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      +icon: null
      +name: "mensliberation@lemmy.ca"
      +title: "mensliberation"
      +description: """
        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
        \n
        Assume good faith— Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question. —\n
        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
        """
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    +body: "Men do think about matters of the heart, but writing about it publicly could be seen as undignified, says journalist Imogen West-Knights"
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        +body: """
          > There are reasons to do with the history of this particular literary form, as well. It may be that, for a number of fair reasons, women are allowed to denigrate men in print, but not the other way around. “I think some of the things I get away with saying about men would seem a bit gross from guys, because of the obvious power imbalance,” Annie Lord, British Vogue’s dating columnist, told me. Women can write about dating because on a heterosexual date, society generally accepts that women are the underdogs.\n
          \n
          Perhaps the presumption that the same privileges equally translate to different contexts plays a part. I don’t see any “fair reasons” listed here. I see a group that is allowed to say negative things about one, and another that is shut down for the same thing (but that they have fair reasons to be allowed to). Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
          \n
          On any dating advise site/community I don’t exactly see women as the “underdogs” with regard to support and who is ‘right’ in any given situation. The first examples that come to mind are reddits dating advice and “AITA” subs where I’ve seen more than enough examples of the old “switching genders completely changed people’s opinions” posts to not feel comfortable there.
          """
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        > Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
        \n
        I think this is a fair point and we should really avoid denigrating everyone. However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful. There are differences we just need to recognize that one isn't better or more correct than the other.\n
        \n
        P.S. the AITA subs are always kind of a mess. Especially with people justifying their terrible behavior.
        """
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      > However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful.\n
      \n
      This is part of what I was saying in the first bit. There are absolutely differences in genders that should be recognized and respected. But context is key. Assuming women are the “underdogs in heterosexual dating” that does not translate to talk *about* dating. In the context of dating advice and online discussions about relationships, I very much disagree that women are underdogs. But the author is using this, presumably, to support the prior sentence’s argument that women can “fairly” denigrate men in print for this reason.
      """
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    But also, we’re not talking about dating, we’re talking about sex, and women are the definite underdogs when it comes to sex, or at least casual sex. The stats on who gets to orgasm through casual sex are just abysmal for heterosexual women… Maybe we all would benefit from sex columns for men more than we’d like to admit.\n
    \n
    The amount of false info around, " it’s just much harder for women to orgasm" and " a lot of women simply cannot orgasm no matter what" is pretty easily disproven by orgasm rates in homosexual female couples, which leads me to believe it’s the men in the equation that lead to women having trouble orgasming, not some inevitability.\n
    \n
    And this is all women are clear underdogs in sex before you even touch on the difference in dangers to men v women with sex /sexual violence/ coersion
    """
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      +name: "mensliberation@lemmy.ca"
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      +description: """
        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
        \n
        Assume good faith— Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question. —\n
        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
        """
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            > There are reasons to do with the history of this particular literary form, as well. It may be that, for a number of fair reasons, women are allowed to denigrate men in print, but not the other way around. “I think some of the things I get away with saying about men would seem a bit gross from guys, because of the obvious power imbalance,” Annie Lord, British Vogue’s dating columnist, told me. Women can write about dating because on a heterosexual date, society generally accepts that women are the underdogs.\n
            \n
            Perhaps the presumption that the same privileges equally translate to different contexts plays a part. I don’t see any “fair reasons” listed here. I see a group that is allowed to say negative things about one, and another that is shut down for the same thing (but that they have fair reasons to be allowed to). Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
            \n
            On any dating advise site/community I don’t exactly see women as the “underdogs” with regard to support and who is ‘right’ in any given situation. The first examples that come to mind are reddits dating advice and “AITA” subs where I’ve seen more than enough examples of the old “switching genders completely changed people’s opinions” posts to not feel comfortable there.
            """
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          > Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
          \n
          I think this is a fair point and we should really avoid denigrating everyone. However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful. There are differences we just need to recognize that one isn't better or more correct than the other.\n
          \n
          P.S. the AITA subs are always kind of a mess. Especially with people justifying their terrible behavior.
          """
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        > However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful.\n
        \n
        This is part of what I was saying in the first bit. There are absolutely differences in genders that should be recognized and respected. But context is key. Assuming women are the “underdogs in heterosexual dating” that does not translate to talk *about* dating. In the context of dating advice and online discussions about relationships, I very much disagree that women are underdogs. But the author is using this, presumably, to support the prior sentence’s argument that women can “fairly” denigrate men in print for this reason.
        """
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      But also, we’re not talking about dating, we’re talking about sex, and women are the definite underdogs when it comes to sex, or at least casual sex. The stats on who gets to orgasm through casual sex are just abysmal for heterosexual women… Maybe we all would benefit from sex columns for men more than we’d like to admit.\n
      \n
      The amount of false info around, " it’s just much harder for women to orgasm" and " a lot of women simply cannot orgasm no matter what" is pretty easily disproven by orgasm rates in homosexual female couples, which leads me to believe it’s the men in the equation that lead to women having trouble orgasming, not some inevitability.\n
      \n
      And this is all women are clear underdogs in sex before you even touch on the difference in dangers to men v women with sex /sexual violence/ coersion
      """
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  +body: "Great points about the orgasm gap."
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    +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266
      +icon: null
      +name: "mensliberation@lemmy.ca"
      +title: "mensliberation"
      +description: """
        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
        \n
        Assume good faith— Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question. —\n
        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
        """
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    +url: "https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/jan/29/hardly-any-straight-men-write-about-sex-and-dating"
    +body: "Men do think about matters of the heart, but writing about it publicly could be seen as undignified, says journalist Imogen West-Knights"
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      date: 2024-01-05 20:15:23.0 +01:00
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    +parent: App\Entity\EntryComment {#5000
      +user: App\Entity\User {#4456 …}
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      +image: null
      +parent: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4854
        +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1897 …}
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        +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266}
        +image: null
        +parent: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4443
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          +body: """
            > There are reasons to do with the history of this particular literary form, as well. It may be that, for a number of fair reasons, women are allowed to denigrate men in print, but not the other way around. “I think some of the things I get away with saying about men would seem a bit gross from guys, because of the obvious power imbalance,” Annie Lord, British Vogue’s dating columnist, told me. Women can write about dating because on a heterosexual date, society generally accepts that women are the underdogs.\n
            \n
            Perhaps the presumption that the same privileges equally translate to different contexts plays a part. I don’t see any “fair reasons” listed here. I see a group that is allowed to say negative things about one, and another that is shut down for the same thing (but that they have fair reasons to be allowed to). Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
            \n
            On any dating advise site/community I don’t exactly see women as the “underdogs” with regard to support and who is ‘right’ in any given situation. The first examples that come to mind are reddits dating advice and “AITA” subs where I’ve seen more than enough examples of the old “switching genders completely changed people’s opinions” posts to not feel comfortable there.
            """
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        +body: """
          > Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
          \n
          I think this is a fair point and we should really avoid denigrating everyone. However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful. There are differences we just need to recognize that one isn't better or more correct than the other.\n
          \n
          P.S. the AITA subs are always kind of a mess. Especially with people justifying their terrible behavior.
          """
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          "@NounsAndWords@lemmy.world"
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        +ranking: 0
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      +root: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4443}
      +body: """
        > However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful.\n
        \n
        This is part of what I was saying in the first bit. There are absolutely differences in genders that should be recognized and respected. But context is key. Assuming women are the “underdogs in heterosexual dating” that does not translate to talk *about* dating. In the context of dating advice and online discussions about relationships, I very much disagree that women are underdogs. But the author is using this, presumably, to support the prior sentence’s argument that women can “fairly” denigrate men in print for this reason.
        """
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        "@dumples@kbin.social"
        "@NounsAndWords@lemmy.world"
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    +body: """
      But also, we’re not talking about dating, we’re talking about sex, and women are the definite underdogs when it comes to sex, or at least casual sex. The stats on who gets to orgasm through casual sex are just abysmal for heterosexual women… Maybe we all would benefit from sex columns for men more than we’d like to admit.\n
      \n
      The amount of false info around, " it’s just much harder for women to orgasm" and " a lot of women simply cannot orgasm no matter what" is pretty easily disproven by orgasm rates in homosexual female couples, which leads me to believe it’s the men in the equation that lead to women having trouble orgasming, not some inevitability.\n
      \n
      And this is all women are clear underdogs in sex before you even touch on the difference in dangers to men v women with sex /sexual violence/ coersion
      """
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  +body: "Great points about the orgasm gap."
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    date: 2024-01-05 23:44:00.0 +01:00
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}
 
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 ACCESS DENIED 
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Show voter details
64 DENIED moderate 
App\Entity\EntryComment {#5122
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  +entry: App\Entity\Entry {#2406
    +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1897 …}
    +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266
      +icon: null
      +name: "mensliberation@lemmy.ca"
      +title: "mensliberation"
      +description: """
        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
        \n
        Assume good faith— Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question. —\n
        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
        """
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          +body: """
            > There are reasons to do with the history of this particular literary form, as well. It may be that, for a number of fair reasons, women are allowed to denigrate men in print, but not the other way around. “I think some of the things I get away with saying about men would seem a bit gross from guys, because of the obvious power imbalance,” Annie Lord, British Vogue’s dating columnist, told me. Women can write about dating because on a heterosexual date, society generally accepts that women are the underdogs.\n
            \n
            Perhaps the presumption that the same privileges equally translate to different contexts plays a part. I don’t see any “fair reasons” listed here. I see a group that is allowed to say negative things about one, and another that is shut down for the same thing (but that they have fair reasons to be allowed to). Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
            \n
            On any dating advise site/community I don’t exactly see women as the “underdogs” with regard to support and who is ‘right’ in any given situation. The first examples that come to mind are reddits dating advice and “AITA” subs where I’ve seen more than enough examples of the old “switching genders completely changed people’s opinions” posts to not feel comfortable there.
            """
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          > Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
          \n
          I think this is a fair point and we should really avoid denigrating everyone. However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful. There are differences we just need to recognize that one isn't better or more correct than the other.\n
          \n
          P.S. the AITA subs are always kind of a mess. Especially with people justifying their terrible behavior.
          """
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        > However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful.\n
        \n
        This is part of what I was saying in the first bit. There are absolutely differences in genders that should be recognized and respected. But context is key. Assuming women are the “underdogs in heterosexual dating” that does not translate to talk *about* dating. In the context of dating advice and online discussions about relationships, I very much disagree that women are underdogs. But the author is using this, presumably, to support the prior sentence’s argument that women can “fairly” denigrate men in print for this reason.
        """
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    +body: """
      But also, we’re not talking about dating, we’re talking about sex, and women are the definite underdogs when it comes to sex, or at least casual sex. The stats on who gets to orgasm through casual sex are just abysmal for heterosexual women… Maybe we all would benefit from sex columns for men more than we’d like to admit.\n
      \n
      The amount of false info around, " it’s just much harder for women to orgasm" and " a lot of women simply cannot orgasm no matter what" is pretty easily disproven by orgasm rates in homosexual female couples, which leads me to believe it’s the men in the equation that lead to women having trouble orgasming, not some inevitability.\n
      \n
      And this is all women are clear underdogs in sex before you even touch on the difference in dangers to men v women with sex /sexual violence/ coersion
      """
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  +body: "Great points about the orgasm gap."
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      +description: """
        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
        \n
        Assume good faith— Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question. —\n
        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
        """
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        +image: null
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          +entry: App\Entity\Entry {#2406}
          +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266}
          +image: null
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          +body: """
            > There are reasons to do with the history of this particular literary form, as well. It may be that, for a number of fair reasons, women are allowed to denigrate men in print, but not the other way around. “I think some of the things I get away with saying about men would seem a bit gross from guys, because of the obvious power imbalance,” Annie Lord, British Vogue’s dating columnist, told me. Women can write about dating because on a heterosexual date, society generally accepts that women are the underdogs.\n
            \n
            Perhaps the presumption that the same privileges equally translate to different contexts plays a part. I don’t see any “fair reasons” listed here. I see a group that is allowed to say negative things about one, and another that is shut down for the same thing (but that they have fair reasons to be allowed to). Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
            \n
            On any dating advise site/community I don’t exactly see women as the “underdogs” with regard to support and who is ‘right’ in any given situation. The first examples that come to mind are reddits dating advice and “AITA” subs where I’ve seen more than enough examples of the old “switching genders completely changed people’s opinions” posts to not feel comfortable there.
            """
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          > Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
          \n
          I think this is a fair point and we should really avoid denigrating everyone. However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful. There are differences we just need to recognize that one isn't better or more correct than the other.\n
          \n
          P.S. the AITA subs are always kind of a mess. Especially with people justifying their terrible behavior.
          """
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        > However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful.\n
        \n
        This is part of what I was saying in the first bit. There are absolutely differences in genders that should be recognized and respected. But context is key. Assuming women are the “underdogs in heterosexual dating” that does not translate to talk *about* dating. In the context of dating advice and online discussions about relationships, I very much disagree that women are underdogs. But the author is using this, presumably, to support the prior sentence’s argument that women can “fairly” denigrate men in print for this reason.
        """
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    +body: """
      But also, we’re not talking about dating, we’re talking about sex, and women are the definite underdogs when it comes to sex, or at least casual sex. The stats on who gets to orgasm through casual sex are just abysmal for heterosexual women… Maybe we all would benefit from sex columns for men more than we’d like to admit.\n
      \n
      The amount of false info around, " it’s just much harder for women to orgasm" and " a lot of women simply cannot orgasm no matter what" is pretty easily disproven by orgasm rates in homosexual female couples, which leads me to believe it’s the men in the equation that lead to women having trouble orgasming, not some inevitability.\n
      \n
      And this is all women are clear underdogs in sex before you even touch on the difference in dangers to men v women with sex /sexual violence/ coersion
      """
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  +body: "Are you suggesting that those are valid reasons that “women [should be] allowed to denigrate men in print”? Because that’s the thing I was talking about."
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Show voter details
67 DENIED edit 
App\Entity\EntryComment {#5136
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      +icon: null
      +name: "mensliberation@lemmy.ca"
      +title: "mensliberation"
      +description: """
        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
        \n
        Assume good faith— Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question. —\n
        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
        """
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            > There are reasons to do with the history of this particular literary form, as well. It may be that, for a number of fair reasons, women are allowed to denigrate men in print, but not the other way around. “I think some of the things I get away with saying about men would seem a bit gross from guys, because of the obvious power imbalance,” Annie Lord, British Vogue’s dating columnist, told me. Women can write about dating because on a heterosexual date, society generally accepts that women are the underdogs.\n
            \n
            Perhaps the presumption that the same privileges equally translate to different contexts plays a part. I don’t see any “fair reasons” listed here. I see a group that is allowed to say negative things about one, and another that is shut down for the same thing (but that they have fair reasons to be allowed to). Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
            \n
            On any dating advise site/community I don’t exactly see women as the “underdogs” with regard to support and who is ‘right’ in any given situation. The first examples that come to mind are reddits dating advice and “AITA” subs where I’ve seen more than enough examples of the old “switching genders completely changed people’s opinions” posts to not feel comfortable there.
            """
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            date: 2024-01-05 20:51:38.0 +01:00
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        +body: """
          > Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
          \n
          I think this is a fair point and we should really avoid denigrating everyone. However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful. There are differences we just need to recognize that one isn't better or more correct than the other.\n
          \n
          P.S. the AITA subs are always kind of a mess. Especially with people justifying their terrible behavior.
          """
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        > However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful.\n
        \n
        This is part of what I was saying in the first bit. There are absolutely differences in genders that should be recognized and respected. But context is key. Assuming women are the “underdogs in heterosexual dating” that does not translate to talk *about* dating. In the context of dating advice and online discussions about relationships, I very much disagree that women are underdogs. But the author is using this, presumably, to support the prior sentence’s argument that women can “fairly” denigrate men in print for this reason.
        """
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    +body: """
      But also, we’re not talking about dating, we’re talking about sex, and women are the definite underdogs when it comes to sex, or at least casual sex. The stats on who gets to orgasm through casual sex are just abysmal for heterosexual women… Maybe we all would benefit from sex columns for men more than we’d like to admit.\n
      \n
      The amount of false info around, " it’s just much harder for women to orgasm" and " a lot of women simply cannot orgasm no matter what" is pretty easily disproven by orgasm rates in homosexual female couples, which leads me to believe it’s the men in the equation that lead to women having trouble orgasming, not some inevitability.\n
      \n
      And this is all women are clear underdogs in sex before you even touch on the difference in dangers to men v women with sex /sexual violence/ coersion
      """
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  +root: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4443}
  +body: "Are you suggesting that those are valid reasons that “women [should be] allowed to denigrate men in print”? Because that’s the thing I was talking about."
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68 DENIED moderate 
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    +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266
      +icon: null
      +name: "mensliberation@lemmy.ca"
      +title: "mensliberation"
      +description: """
        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
        \n
        Assume good faith— Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question. —\n
        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
        """
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    +url: "https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/jan/29/hardly-any-straight-men-write-about-sex-and-dating"
    +body: "Men do think about matters of the heart, but writing about it publicly could be seen as undignified, says journalist Imogen West-Knights"
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    +parent: App\Entity\EntryComment {#5000
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          +body: """
            > There are reasons to do with the history of this particular literary form, as well. It may be that, for a number of fair reasons, women are allowed to denigrate men in print, but not the other way around. “I think some of the things I get away with saying about men would seem a bit gross from guys, because of the obvious power imbalance,” Annie Lord, British Vogue’s dating columnist, told me. Women can write about dating because on a heterosexual date, society generally accepts that women are the underdogs.\n
            \n
            Perhaps the presumption that the same privileges equally translate to different contexts plays a part. I don’t see any “fair reasons” listed here. I see a group that is allowed to say negative things about one, and another that is shut down for the same thing (but that they have fair reasons to be allowed to). Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
            \n
            On any dating advise site/community I don’t exactly see women as the “underdogs” with regard to support and who is ‘right’ in any given situation. The first examples that come to mind are reddits dating advice and “AITA” subs where I’ve seen more than enough examples of the old “switching genders completely changed people’s opinions” posts to not feel comfortable there.
            """
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        +body: """
          > Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
          \n
          I think this is a fair point and we should really avoid denigrating everyone. However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful. There are differences we just need to recognize that one isn't better or more correct than the other.\n
          \n
          P.S. the AITA subs are always kind of a mess. Especially with people justifying their terrible behavior.
          """
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          "@NounsAndWords@lemmy.world"
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      +body: """
        > However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful.\n
        \n
        This is part of what I was saying in the first bit. There are absolutely differences in genders that should be recognized and respected. But context is key. Assuming women are the “underdogs in heterosexual dating” that does not translate to talk *about* dating. In the context of dating advice and online discussions about relationships, I very much disagree that women are underdogs. But the author is using this, presumably, to support the prior sentence’s argument that women can “fairly” denigrate men in print for this reason.
        """
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    +body: """
      But also, we’re not talking about dating, we’re talking about sex, and women are the definite underdogs when it comes to sex, or at least casual sex. The stats on who gets to orgasm through casual sex are just abysmal for heterosexual women… Maybe we all would benefit from sex columns for men more than we’d like to admit.\n
      \n
      The amount of false info around, " it’s just much harder for women to orgasm" and " a lot of women simply cannot orgasm no matter what" is pretty easily disproven by orgasm rates in homosexual female couples, which leads me to believe it’s the men in the equation that lead to women having trouble orgasming, not some inevitability.\n
      \n
      And this is all women are clear underdogs in sex before you even touch on the difference in dangers to men v women with sex /sexual violence/ coersion
      """
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  +root: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4443}
  +body: "Are you suggesting that those are valid reasons that “women [should be] allowed to denigrate men in print”? Because that’s the thing I was talking about."
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      +icon: null
      +name: "mensliberation@lemmy.ca"
      +title: "mensliberation"
      +description: """
        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
        \n
        Assume good faith— Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question. —\n
        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
        """
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    +body: "Men do think about matters of the heart, but writing about it publicly could be seen as undignified, says journalist Imogen West-Knights"
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          +body: """
            > There are reasons to do with the history of this particular literary form, as well. It may be that, for a number of fair reasons, women are allowed to denigrate men in print, but not the other way around. “I think some of the things I get away with saying about men would seem a bit gross from guys, because of the obvious power imbalance,” Annie Lord, British Vogue’s dating columnist, told me. Women can write about dating because on a heterosexual date, society generally accepts that women are the underdogs.\n
            \n
            Perhaps the presumption that the same privileges equally translate to different contexts plays a part. I don’t see any “fair reasons” listed here. I see a group that is allowed to say negative things about one, and another that is shut down for the same thing (but that they have fair reasons to be allowed to). Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
            \n
            On any dating advise site/community I don’t exactly see women as the “underdogs” with regard to support and who is ‘right’ in any given situation. The first examples that come to mind are reddits dating advice and “AITA” subs where I’ve seen more than enough examples of the old “switching genders completely changed people’s opinions” posts to not feel comfortable there.
            """
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        +body: """
          > Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
          \n
          I think this is a fair point and we should really avoid denigrating everyone. However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful. There are differences we just need to recognize that one isn't better or more correct than the other.\n
          \n
          P.S. the AITA subs are always kind of a mess. Especially with people justifying their terrible behavior.
          """
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      +root: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4443}
      +body: """
        > However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful.\n
        \n
        This is part of what I was saying in the first bit. There are absolutely differences in genders that should be recognized and respected. But context is key. Assuming women are the “underdogs in heterosexual dating” that does not translate to talk *about* dating. In the context of dating advice and online discussions about relationships, I very much disagree that women are underdogs. But the author is using this, presumably, to support the prior sentence’s argument that women can “fairly” denigrate men in print for this reason.
        """
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    +body: """
      But also, we’re not talking about dating, we’re talking about sex, and women are the definite underdogs when it comes to sex, or at least casual sex. The stats on who gets to orgasm through casual sex are just abysmal for heterosexual women… Maybe we all would benefit from sex columns for men more than we’d like to admit.\n
      \n
      The amount of false info around, " it’s just much harder for women to orgasm" and " a lot of women simply cannot orgasm no matter what" is pretty easily disproven by orgasm rates in homosexual female couples, which leads me to believe it’s the men in the equation that lead to women having trouble orgasming, not some inevitability.\n
      \n
      And this is all women are clear underdogs in sex before you even touch on the difference in dangers to men v women with sex /sexual violence/ coersion
      """
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  +body: """
    Why is that your sole data point here? What about amount of sex in general?\n
    \n
    Men have less sex in general and do it less frequently, so by that metric men are the underdogs.
    """
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71 DENIED edit 
App\Entity\EntryComment {#5151
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    +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266
      +icon: null
      +name: "mensliberation@lemmy.ca"
      +title: "mensliberation"
      +description: """
        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
        \n
        Assume good faith— Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question. —\n
        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
        """
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    +title: "Why do hardly any straight men write about sex and dating? | Imogen West-Knights"
    +url: "https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/jan/29/hardly-any-straight-men-write-about-sex-and-dating"
    +body: "Men do think about matters of the heart, but writing about it publicly could be seen as undignified, says journalist Imogen West-Knights"
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      date: 2024-01-05 20:15:23.0 +01:00
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    +parent: App\Entity\EntryComment {#5000
      +user: App\Entity\User {#4456 …}
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      +image: null
      +parent: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4854
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          +body: """
            > There are reasons to do with the history of this particular literary form, as well. It may be that, for a number of fair reasons, women are allowed to denigrate men in print, but not the other way around. “I think some of the things I get away with saying about men would seem a bit gross from guys, because of the obvious power imbalance,” Annie Lord, British Vogue’s dating columnist, told me. Women can write about dating because on a heterosexual date, society generally accepts that women are the underdogs.\n
            \n
            Perhaps the presumption that the same privileges equally translate to different contexts plays a part. I don’t see any “fair reasons” listed here. I see a group that is allowed to say negative things about one, and another that is shut down for the same thing (but that they have fair reasons to be allowed to). Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
            \n
            On any dating advise site/community I don’t exactly see women as the “underdogs” with regard to support and who is ‘right’ in any given situation. The first examples that come to mind are reddits dating advice and “AITA” subs where I’ve seen more than enough examples of the old “switching genders completely changed people’s opinions” posts to not feel comfortable there.
            """
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        +body: """
          > Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
          \n
          I think this is a fair point and we should really avoid denigrating everyone. However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful. There are differences we just need to recognize that one isn't better or more correct than the other.\n
          \n
          P.S. the AITA subs are always kind of a mess. Especially with people justifying their terrible behavior.
          """
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      +body: """
        > However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful.\n
        \n
        This is part of what I was saying in the first bit. There are absolutely differences in genders that should be recognized and respected. But context is key. Assuming women are the “underdogs in heterosexual dating” that does not translate to talk *about* dating. In the context of dating advice and online discussions about relationships, I very much disagree that women are underdogs. But the author is using this, presumably, to support the prior sentence’s argument that women can “fairly” denigrate men in print for this reason.
        """
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    +body: """
      But also, we’re not talking about dating, we’re talking about sex, and women are the definite underdogs when it comes to sex, or at least casual sex. The stats on who gets to orgasm through casual sex are just abysmal for heterosexual women… Maybe we all would benefit from sex columns for men more than we’d like to admit.\n
      \n
      The amount of false info around, " it’s just much harder for women to orgasm" and " a lot of women simply cannot orgasm no matter what" is pretty easily disproven by orgasm rates in homosexual female couples, which leads me to believe it’s the men in the equation that lead to women having trouble orgasming, not some inevitability.\n
      \n
      And this is all women are clear underdogs in sex before you even touch on the difference in dangers to men v women with sex /sexual violence/ coersion
      """
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  +body: """
    Why is that your sole data point here? What about amount of sex in general?\n
    \n
    Men have less sex in general and do it less frequently, so by that metric men are the underdogs.
    """
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      +description: """
        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
        \n
        Assume good faith— Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question. —\n
        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
        """
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    +title: "Why do hardly any straight men write about sex and dating? | Imogen West-Knights"
    +url: "https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/jan/29/hardly-any-straight-men-write-about-sex-and-dating"
    +body: "Men do think about matters of the heart, but writing about it publicly could be seen as undignified, says journalist Imogen West-Knights"
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          +body: """
            > There are reasons to do with the history of this particular literary form, as well. It may be that, for a number of fair reasons, women are allowed to denigrate men in print, but not the other way around. “I think some of the things I get away with saying about men would seem a bit gross from guys, because of the obvious power imbalance,” Annie Lord, British Vogue’s dating columnist, told me. Women can write about dating because on a heterosexual date, society generally accepts that women are the underdogs.\n
            \n
            Perhaps the presumption that the same privileges equally translate to different contexts plays a part. I don’t see any “fair reasons” listed here. I see a group that is allowed to say negative things about one, and another that is shut down for the same thing (but that they have fair reasons to be allowed to). Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
            \n
            On any dating advise site/community I don’t exactly see women as the “underdogs” with regard to support and who is ‘right’ in any given situation. The first examples that come to mind are reddits dating advice and “AITA” subs where I’ve seen more than enough examples of the old “switching genders completely changed people’s opinions” posts to not feel comfortable there.
            """
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        +body: """
          > Maybe nobody should be denigrating anyone and it is just, in itself, unfair to denigrate others?\n
          \n
          I think this is a fair point and we should really avoid denigrating everyone. However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful. There are differences we just need to recognize that one isn't better or more correct than the other.\n
          \n
          P.S. the AITA subs are always kind of a mess. Especially with people justifying their terrible behavior.
          """
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      +body: """
        > However, ignore any differences between any of the genders and their assumed roles is not helpful.\n
        \n
        This is part of what I was saying in the first bit. There are absolutely differences in genders that should be recognized and respected. But context is key. Assuming women are the “underdogs in heterosexual dating” that does not translate to talk *about* dating. In the context of dating advice and online discussions about relationships, I very much disagree that women are underdogs. But the author is using this, presumably, to support the prior sentence’s argument that women can “fairly” denigrate men in print for this reason.
        """
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    +body: """
      But also, we’re not talking about dating, we’re talking about sex, and women are the definite underdogs when it comes to sex, or at least casual sex. The stats on who gets to orgasm through casual sex are just abysmal for heterosexual women… Maybe we all would benefit from sex columns for men more than we’d like to admit.\n
      \n
      The amount of false info around, " it’s just much harder for women to orgasm" and " a lot of women simply cannot orgasm no matter what" is pretty easily disproven by orgasm rates in homosexual female couples, which leads me to believe it’s the men in the equation that lead to women having trouble orgasming, not some inevitability.\n
      \n
      And this is all women are clear underdogs in sex before you even touch on the difference in dangers to men v women with sex /sexual violence/ coersion
      """
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  +body: """
    Why is that your sole data point here? What about amount of sex in general?\n
    \n
    Men have less sex in general and do it less frequently, so by that metric men are the underdogs.
    """
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}
 
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74 DENIED moderate 
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    +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266
      +icon: null
      +name: "mensliberation@lemmy.ca"
      +title: "mensliberation"
      +description: """
        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
        \n
        Assume good faith— Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question. —\n
        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
        """
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
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        \n
        ---\n
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        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
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        ##### Related Communities\n
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        \n
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        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
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        \n
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        ---
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        ##### Recommended Reading\n
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        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
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        ---\n
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        Rules\n
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        ---\n
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        ##### Recommended Reading\n
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        \n
        ---\n
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
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        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
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        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
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        ##### Related Communities\n
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        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
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        \n
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        ##### Recommended Reading\n
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        \n
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        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
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        \n
        ---\n
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        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
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        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
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        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
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        \n
        ---\n
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        ##### Related Communities\n
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        \n
        ---
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        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
        \n
        Assume good faith— Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question. —\n
        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
        """
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91 DENIED edit 
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
        \n
        Assume good faith— Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question. —\n
        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
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        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
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        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
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        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
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        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
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        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
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        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
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        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
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        \n
        ---
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        ---\n
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
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        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
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        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
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        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
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        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
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        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
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        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
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    > Would many straight men even read this fabled column? Again, I asked some friends. “I probably wouldn’t be interested in reading a column by some dude cos I’d just think, well, that’s him I guess. I can’t imagine finding it useful or applying it to me in any way.”\n
    \n
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    """
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        \n
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        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
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        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
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        ---\n
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        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
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        \n
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
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        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
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        ##### Related Communities\n
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        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
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        Rules\n
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        \n
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
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        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
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        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
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        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
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        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
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        Assume good faith— Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question. —\n
        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
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        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
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        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
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        Assume good faith— Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question. —\n
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        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
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        \n
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        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
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        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
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        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
        \n
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        \n
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        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
        """
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          > Would many straight men even read this fabled column? Again, I asked some friends. “I probably wouldn’t be interested in reading a column by some dude cos I’d just think, well, that’s him I guess. I can’t imagine finding it useful or applying it to me in any way.”\n
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    +body: "That is true. You could spruce it up about specifics about how to talk about it but you are right. Most relationship problems are boring and that is the boring answer. You need some advice about the interesting parts of sex and relationships where there are a focus on the sex especially non PIV sex."
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  +body: "Meh. Both people not understanding what they want or how to solve a problem is entirely possible, but the solution to that is to try a few different things and talk some more. Maybe that could be the hook… Talking to couples instead of just one person. Anyway. As much as I’d love for someone to pay me to talk about sex all day, it’s not happening."
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      +description: """
        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
        \n
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        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
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      date: 2024-01-05 20:15:23.0 +01:00
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  }
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    +entry: App\Entity\Entry {#2406}
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        +body: """
          > Would many straight men even read this fabled column? Again, I asked some friends. “I probably wouldn’t be interested in reading a column by some dude cos I’d just think, well, that’s him I guess. I can’t imagine finding it useful or applying it to me in any way.”\n
          \n
          I think this is it for me. Women vary, and what works for some dude’s woman probably won’t work for mine.
          """
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    +body: "That is true. You could spruce it up about specifics about how to talk about it but you are right. Most relationship problems are boring and that is the boring answer. You need some advice about the interesting parts of sex and relationships where there are a focus on the sex especially non PIV sex."
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  +body: "Meh. Both people not understanding what they want or how to solve a problem is entirely possible, but the solution to that is to try a few different things and talk some more. Maybe that could be the hook… Talking to couples instead of just one person. Anyway. As much as I’d love for someone to pay me to talk about sex all day, it’s not happening."
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      +icon: null
      +name: "mensliberation@lemmy.ca"
      +title: "mensliberation"
      +description: """
        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
        \n
        Assume good faith— Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question. —\n
        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
        """
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    +slug: "Why-do-hardly-any-straight-men-write-about-sex-and"
    +title: "Why do hardly any straight men write about sex and dating? | Imogen West-Knights"
    +url: "https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/jan/29/hardly-any-straight-men-write-about-sex-and-dating"
    +body: "Men do think about matters of the heart, but writing about it publicly could be seen as undignified, says journalist Imogen West-Knights"
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        +body: """
          > Would many straight men even read this fabled column? Again, I asked some friends. “I probably wouldn’t be interested in reading a column by some dude cos I’d just think, well, that’s him I guess. I can’t imagine finding it useful or applying it to me in any way.”\n
          \n
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          """
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    +body: "That is true. You could spruce it up about specifics about how to talk about it but you are right. Most relationship problems are boring and that is the boring answer. You need some advice about the interesting parts of sex and relationships where there are a focus on the sex especially non PIV sex."
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  +body: "Meh. Both people not understanding what they want or how to solve a problem is entirely possible, but the solution to that is to try a few different things and talk some more. Maybe that could be the hook… Talking to couples instead of just one person. Anyway. As much as I’d love for someone to pay me to talk about sex all day, it’s not happening."
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}
 
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
        \n
        Assume good faith— Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question. —\n
        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
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Show voter details
123 DENIED edit 
App\Entity\EntryComment {#5030
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
        \n
        Assume good faith— Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question. —\n
        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
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        ---\n
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        Rules\n
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        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
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        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
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        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
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        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
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        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
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        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
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        \n
        ---\n
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        Rules\n
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        \n
        ---\n
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        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
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        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
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        \n
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        ---\n
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        Rules\n
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        \n
        ---\n
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        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
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        \n
        ---\n
        \n
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        \n
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
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        \n
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        \n
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        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
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        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
        Be productive— Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people’s efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed. Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting: * Build upon the OP * Discuss concepts rather than semantics * No low effort comments * No personal attacks —\n
        \n
        Assume good faith— Do not call other submitters’ personal experiences into question. —\n
        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
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        \n
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        \n
        No bigotry— Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated. —\n
        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
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    +body: "Do you have an example?"
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  +body: "For example discussions on the difference between what women think they want in a man vs what actually turns them on. Conscious vs unconscious desires. This isn’t a women-only phenomena mind you. It takes most people a lot of experience to figure out the difference. This could obviously come off as infantilising or mansplainy."
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        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
        \n
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        \n
        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
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        ---\n
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        ##### Recommended Reading\n
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        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
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        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
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        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
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        ##### Recommended Reading\n
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        \n
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        ---\n
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        Rules\n
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        ##### Recommended Reading\n
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        \n
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        \n
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  +body: "But generalities are wrong, period. When the subject is described subjectively, then you’re not crossing any lines. When you question your own perception, there’s no way you could really inadvertently cross any sexist line."
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
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        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
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        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
        !feminism@beehaw.org  \n
        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
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    You think? I dunno. It’s 100% about how you actually view women. When you talk about the woman you’re dating in a way that just recognizes them as another person, then there is no problem.\n
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        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
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        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
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        **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        Rules\n
        -----\n
        \n
        Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people— Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren’t talking over men expressing their own lived experiences. —\n
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        No brigading— Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues. —\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Recommended Reading\n
        \n
        - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
        - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
        \n
        ---\n
        \n
        ##### Related Communities\n
        \n
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        !askmen@lemmy.world  \n
        !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world\n
        \n
        ---
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    **This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.**\n
    \n
    ---\n
    \n
    Rules\n
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    \n
    ---\n
    \n
    ##### Recommended Reading\n
    \n
    - [*The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love* by bell hooks](https://archive.org/details/the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love-by-bell-hooks-z-lib.org.epub/page/n43/mode/2up)\n
    - *Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements* by Michael Messner\n
    \n
    ---\n
    \n
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    \n
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    \n
    ---
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