GET https://kbin.spritesserver.nl/u/@PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee/top/2023-11-28::2023-11-28

Response
200 OK
IP
3.145.103.54
Profiled on
Token
c6817b

Security

Token

There is no security token.

Firewall

main Name
Security enabled
Stateless

Configuration

Key Value
provider security.user.provider.concrete.app_user_provider
context main
entry_point App\Security\KbinAuthenticator
user_checker App\Security\UserChecker
access_denied_handler (none)
access_denied_url (none)
authenticators 
[
  "two_factor"
  "remember_me"
  "App\Security\KbinAuthenticator"
  "App\Security\FacebookAuthenticator"
  "App\Security\GoogleAuthenticator"
  "App\Security\GithubAuthenticator"
  "App\Security\KeycloakAuthenticator"
]

Listeners

Listener Duration Response 
Symfony\Component\Security\Http\Firewall\ChannelListener {#723
  -map: Symfony\Component\Security\Http\AccessMap {#722 …}
  -logger: Monolog\Logger {#783 …}
  -httpPort: 80
  -httpsPort: 443
}
 0.00 ms (none) 
Symfony\Component\Security\Http\Firewall\ContextListener {#706
  -tokenStorage: Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authentication\Token\Storage\TokenStorage {#1017 …}
  -sessionKey: "_security_main"
  -logger: Monolog\Logger {#783 …}
  -userProviders: Symfony\Component\DependencyInjection\Argument\RewindableGenerator {#705 …}
  -dispatcher: Symfony\Component\EventDispatcher\Debug\TraceableEventDispatcher {#747 …}
  -registered: false
  -trustResolver: Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authentication\AuthenticationTrustResolver {#780 …}
  -sessionTrackerEnabler: Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authentication\Token\Storage\UsageTrackingTokenStorage::enableUsageTracking(): void {#703 …}
}
 0.76 ms (none) 
Symfony\Component\Security\Http\Firewall\AuthenticatorManagerListener {#584
  -authenticatorManager: Symfony\Component\Security\Http\Authentication\AuthenticatorManager {#595 …}
}
 0.00 ms (none) 
Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Http\Firewall\TwoFactorAccessListener {#582
  -twoFactorFirewallConfig: Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\TwoFactor\TwoFactorFirewallConfig {#842 …}
  -tokenStorage: Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authentication\Token\Storage\UsageTrackingTokenStorage {#1018 …}
  -twoFactorAccessDecider: Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\TwoFactorAccessDecider {#581 …}
}
 0.03 ms (none) 
Symfony\Component\Security\Http\Firewall\AccessListener {#579
  -tokenStorage: Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authentication\Token\Storage\UsageTrackingTokenStorage {#1018 …}
  -accessDecisionManager: Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authorization\TraceableAccessDecisionManager {#937 …}
  -map: Symfony\Component\Security\Http\AccessMap {#722 …}
}
 0.00 ms (none) 
Symfony\Component\Security\Http\Firewall\LogoutListener {#786
  -tokenStorage: Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authentication\Token\Storage\UsageTrackingTokenStorage {#1018 …}
  -options: [
    "csrf_parameter" => "_csrf_token"
    "csrf_token_id" => "logout"
    "logout_path" => "app_logout"
  ]
  -httpUtils: Symfony\Component\Security\Http\HttpUtils {#841 …}
  -csrfTokenManager: Symfony\Component\Security\Csrf\CsrfTokenManager {#1015 …}
  -eventDispatcher: Symfony\Component\EventDispatcher\Debug\TraceableEventDispatcher {#747 …}
}
 0.00 ms (none)

Authenticators

No authenticators have been recorded. Check previous profiles on your authentication endpoint.

Access Decision

affirmative Strategy
# Voter class
1 
"Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authorization\Voter\AuthenticatedVoter"
2 
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
3 
"Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authorization\Voter\RoleHierarchyVoter"
4 
"Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authorization\Voter\ExpressionVoter"
5 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
6 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
7 
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
8 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
9 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
10 
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
11 
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
12 
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
13 
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
14 
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"

Access decision log

# Result Attributes Object
1 DENIED ROLE_USER 
null
 
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authorization\Voter\RoleHierarchyVoter"
 ACCESS DENIED 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
2 DENIED moderate 
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582
  +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2391 …}
  +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
  +image: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Image {#2091 …}
  +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2332 …}
  +slug: "Offering-solutions-is-annoying"
  +title: "Offering solutions is annoying"
  +url: "https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/8475be02-b6b3-477f-abb1-96f802798527.png"
  +body: null
  +type: "image"
  +lang: "en"
  +isOc: false
  +hasEmbed: true
  +commentCount: 141
  +favouriteCount: 998
  +score: 0
  +isAdult: false
  +sticky: false
  +lastActive: DateTime @1701562906 {#1721
    date: 2023-12-03 01:21:46.0 +01:00
  }
  +ip: null
  +adaAmount: 0
  +tags: null
  +mentions: null
  +comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2347 …}
  +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2346 …}
  +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2350 …}
  +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2339 …}
  +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2337 …}
  +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2066 …}
  +children: [
    1 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1620
      +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
      +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582 …2}
      +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
      +image: null
      +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1613 …}
      +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
      +body: """
        Ok but *getting upset* if a solution is offered because “can’t you just listen to me‽”\n
        \n
        Is well beyond fair to whoever you have conscripted as your sounding board. At that point it’s not just venting about what you’re going through, it’s attacking them for daring to empathize in a way you didn’t tell them you didn’t want.
        """
      +lang: "en"
      +isAdult: false
      +favouriteCount: 5
      +score: 0
      +lastActive: DateTime @1701202182 {#1555
        date: 2023-11-28 21:09:42.0 +01:00
      }
      +ip: null
      +tags: null
      +mentions: [
        "@blahsay@lemmy.world"
        "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
        "@PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee"
        "@ZombieTheZombieCat@lemmy.world"
        "@JigglySackles@lemmy.world"
      ]
      +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1604 …}
      +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1619 …}
      +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1701 …}
      +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1687 …}
      +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1689 …}
      +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1691 …}
      -id: 174696
      -bodyTs: "'attack':47 'beyond':20 'board':30 'conscript':26 'dare':50 'didn':57,62 'empath':52 'fair':21 'get':3 'go':43 'listen':15 'offer':9 'ok':1 'point':33 're':42 'solut':7 'sound':29 'tell':59 'upset':4 'vent':38 'want':64 'way':55 'well':19 'whoever':23"
      +ranking: 0
      +commentCount: 0
      +upVotes: 0
      +downVotes: 0
      +visibility: "visible             "
      +apId: "https://lemm.ee/comment/6709474"
      +editedAt: null
      +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701202182 {#1621
        date: 2023-11-28 21:09:42.0 +01:00
      }
      +"title": 174696
    }
    2 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1606
      +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
      +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582 …2}
      +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
      +image: null
      +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
      +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
      +body: """
        I mean kinda is true though? Ignoring an easy fix just so you can keep complaining about the problem makes it feel like you don’t actually care about the issue, you just wanted any excuse to complain at me. On our end, the problem and feelings of frustration surrounding it weren’t “invalidated” until you decided continuing to be frustrated was more important than having a possible answer to the issue.\n
        \n
        We want you to stop complaining about it *because the problem is addressed and isn’t a problem causing frustration anymore.* NOT because we’re just annoyed hearing you talk and want to shut you up and invalidate your feelings about the problem.\n
        \n
        If anything this narrative of “oh God just shut up” invalidates OUR feelings about being gaslit for trying to fucking help.\n
        \n
        It’s the relationship equivalent of watching conservatives go on and on and on and on about underage pregnancies when multiple institutional remedies are right there, and they proceed to ignore those solutions in favor of getting to continue complaining about the problem.\n
        \n
        Why is it my responsibility to validate feelings you yourself are telling me are just kvetch that you actively choose to keep being mad about instead of addressing to not waste energy on being angry.
        """
      +lang: "en"
      +isAdult: false
      +favouriteCount: 15
      +score: 0
      +lastActive: DateTime @1701192502 {#1428
        date: 2023-11-28 18:28:22.0 +01:00
      }
      +ip: null
      +tags: null
      +mentions: [
        "@blahsay@lemmy.world"
        "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
      ]
      +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1650 …}
      +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1668 …}
      +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1666 …}
      +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1669 …}
      +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1585 …}
      +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1573 …}
      -id: 174190
      -bodyTs: "'activ':198 'actual':27 'address':85,207 'angri':214 'annoy':99 'answer':69 'anymor':93 'anyth':117 'care':28 'caus':91 'choos':199 'complain':16,38,78,176 'conserv':144 'continu':58,175 'decid':57 'easi':9 'end':43 'energi':211 'equival':141 'excus':36 'favor':171 'feel':22,47,112,128,187 'fix':10 'frustrat':49,61,92 'fuck':135 'gaslit':131 'get':173 'go':145 'god':122 'hear':100 'help':136 'ignor':7,167 'import':64 'instead':205 'institut':158 'invalid':54,110,126 'isn':87 'issu':31,72 'keep':15,201 'kinda':3 'kvetch':195 'like':23 'mad':203 'make':20 'mean':2 'multipl':157 'narrat':119 'oh':121 'possibl':68 'pregnanc':155 'problem':19,45,83,90,115,179 'proceed':165 're':97 'relationship':140 'remedi':159 'respons':184 'right':161 'shut':106,124 'solut':169 'stop':77 'surround':50 'talk':102 'tell':191 'though':6 'tri':133 'true':5 'underag':154 'valid':186 'want':34,74,104 'wast':210 'watch':143 'weren':52"
      +ranking: 0
      +commentCount: 0
      +upVotes: 0
      +downVotes: 0
      +visibility: "visible             "
      +apId: "https://lemm.ee/comment/6702272"
      +editedAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701991028 {#1440
        date: 2023-12-08 00:17:08.0 +01:00
      }
      +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701192502 {#1434
        date: 2023-11-28 18:28:22.0 +01:00
      }
      +"title": 174190
    }
    0 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1559
      +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
      +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582 …2}
      +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
      +image: null
      +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1567 …}
      +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
      +body: """
        Is it actually wanting to be supported if you don’t want support, just to bitch and moan about a problem that has a solution?\n
        \n
        Why should you be supported and heard when you’re complaining about a problem caused by someone not being able to solve 2+2?\n
        \n
        There is an answer, it has a simple implementation, it will fix the problem, and you’re getting mad it was offered because “I just want to be heard!”\n
        \n
        This isn’t the fucking MeToo movement where women are being spoken over and shut up by institutional violence, this is women deciding feeling valid is more important than addressing the fucking problem that’s making them feel whatever feelings they think need validating more than the problem needs solving.\n
        \n
        “Why can’t we just enjoy the problem a bit?” BECAUSE IT IS A FUCKING PROBLEM, IT BY DEFINITION IS NOT SOMETHING ANYONE ENJOYS, JUST FUCKING SOLVE THE PROBLEM AND STOP GASLIGHTING PEOPLE FOR OFFERING SOLUTIONS TO IT.\n
        \n
        Just because women do it does not mean it is a healthy and valid response to a situation, and this kvetch about “solutions bad” is the crowning example of this.\n
        \n
        We heard the problem, we are supporting you by offering help to solve the problem. You are the one invalidating shit by rejecting solutions in the name of continuing to have a problem to feel valid and complain about.
        """
      +lang: "en"
      +isAdult: false
      +favouriteCount: 13
      +score: 0
      +lastActive: DateTime @1701195766 {#1580
        date: 2023-11-28 19:22:46.0 +01:00
      }
      +ip: null
      +tags: null
      +mentions: [
        "@blahsay@lemmy.world"
        "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
        "@PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee"
        "@ZombieTheZombieCat@lemmy.world"
      ]
      +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1527 …}
      +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1548 …}
      +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1566 …}
      +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1562 …}
      +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1554 …}
      +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1556 …}
      -id: 174363
      -bodyTs: "'+2':49 '2':48 'abl':45 'actual':3 'address':108 'answer':53 'anyon':151 'bad':190 'bit':138 'bitch':16 'caus':40 'complain':36,234 'continu':225 'crown':193 'decid':101 'definit':147 'enjoy':134,152 'exampl':194 'feel':102,116,118,231 'fix':61 'fuck':83,110,143,154 'gaslight':160 'get':67 'healthi':178 'heard':32,78,198 'help':207 'implement':58 'import':106 'institut':96 'invalid':216 'isn':80 'kvetch':187 'mad':68 'make':114 'mean':174 'metoo':84 'moan':18 'movement':85 'name':223 'need':121,127 'offer':71,163,206 'one':215 'peopl':161 'problem':21,39,63,111,126,136,144,157,200,211,229 're':35,66 'reject':219 'respons':181 'shit':217 'shut':93 'simpl':57 'situat':184 'solut':25,164,189,220 'solv':47,128,155,209 'someon':42 'someth':150 'spoken':90 'stop':159 'support':7,13,30,203 'think':120 'valid':103,122,180,232 'violenc':97 'want':4,12,75 'whatev':117 'women':87,100,169"
      +ranking: 0
      +commentCount: 0
      +upVotes: 0
      +downVotes: 0
      +visibility: "visible             "
      +apId: "https://lemm.ee/comment/6704942"
      +editedAt: null
      +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701195766 {#1550
        date: 2023-11-28 19:22:46.0 +01:00
      }
      +"title": 174363
    }
  ]
  -id: 17567
  -titleTs: "'annoy':4 'offer':1 'solut':2"
  -bodyTs: null
  +cross: false
  +upVotes: 0
  +downVotes: 0
  +ranking: 1701218164
  +visibility: "visible             "
  +apId: "https://lemmy.world/post/8849482"
  +editedAt: null
  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701131764 {#1698
    date: 2023-11-28 01:36:04.0 +01:00
  }
  +__isInitialized__: true
   …2
}
 
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
 ACCESS DENIED 
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
3 DENIED edit 
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582
  +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2391 …}
  +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
  +image: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Image {#2091 …}
  +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2332 …}
  +slug: "Offering-solutions-is-annoying"
  +title: "Offering solutions is annoying"
  +url: "https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/8475be02-b6b3-477f-abb1-96f802798527.png"
  +body: null
  +type: "image"
  +lang: "en"
  +isOc: false
  +hasEmbed: true
  +commentCount: 141
  +favouriteCount: 998
  +score: 0
  +isAdult: false
  +sticky: false
  +lastActive: DateTime @1701562906 {#1721
    date: 2023-12-03 01:21:46.0 +01:00
  }
  +ip: null
  +adaAmount: 0
  +tags: null
  +mentions: null
  +comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2347 …}
  +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2346 …}
  +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2350 …}
  +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2339 …}
  +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2337 …}
  +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2066 …}
  +children: [
    1 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1620
      +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
      +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582 …2}
      +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
      +image: null
      +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1613 …}
      +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
      +body: """
        Ok but *getting upset* if a solution is offered because “can’t you just listen to me‽”\n
        \n
        Is well beyond fair to whoever you have conscripted as your sounding board. At that point it’s not just venting about what you’re going through, it’s attacking them for daring to empathize in a way you didn’t tell them you didn’t want.
        """
      +lang: "en"
      +isAdult: false
      +favouriteCount: 5
      +score: 0
      +lastActive: DateTime @1701202182 {#1555
        date: 2023-11-28 21:09:42.0 +01:00
      }
      +ip: null
      +tags: null
      +mentions: [
        "@blahsay@lemmy.world"
        "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
        "@PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee"
        "@ZombieTheZombieCat@lemmy.world"
        "@JigglySackles@lemmy.world"
      ]
      +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1604 …}
      +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1619 …}
      +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1701 …}
      +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1687 …}
      +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1689 …}
      +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1691 …}
      -id: 174696
      -bodyTs: "'attack':47 'beyond':20 'board':30 'conscript':26 'dare':50 'didn':57,62 'empath':52 'fair':21 'get':3 'go':43 'listen':15 'offer':9 'ok':1 'point':33 're':42 'solut':7 'sound':29 'tell':59 'upset':4 'vent':38 'want':64 'way':55 'well':19 'whoever':23"
      +ranking: 0
      +commentCount: 0
      +upVotes: 0
      +downVotes: 0
      +visibility: "visible             "
      +apId: "https://lemm.ee/comment/6709474"
      +editedAt: null
      +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701202182 {#1621
        date: 2023-11-28 21:09:42.0 +01:00
      }
      +"title": 174696
    }
    2 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1606
      +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
      +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582 …2}
      +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
      +image: null
      +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
      +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
      +body: """
        I mean kinda is true though? Ignoring an easy fix just so you can keep complaining about the problem makes it feel like you don’t actually care about the issue, you just wanted any excuse to complain at me. On our end, the problem and feelings of frustration surrounding it weren’t “invalidated” until you decided continuing to be frustrated was more important than having a possible answer to the issue.\n
        \n
        We want you to stop complaining about it *because the problem is addressed and isn’t a problem causing frustration anymore.* NOT because we’re just annoyed hearing you talk and want to shut you up and invalidate your feelings about the problem.\n
        \n
        If anything this narrative of “oh God just shut up” invalidates OUR feelings about being gaslit for trying to fucking help.\n
        \n
        It’s the relationship equivalent of watching conservatives go on and on and on and on about underage pregnancies when multiple institutional remedies are right there, and they proceed to ignore those solutions in favor of getting to continue complaining about the problem.\n
        \n
        Why is it my responsibility to validate feelings you yourself are telling me are just kvetch that you actively choose to keep being mad about instead of addressing to not waste energy on being angry.
        """
      +lang: "en"
      +isAdult: false
      +favouriteCount: 15
      +score: 0
      +lastActive: DateTime @1701192502 {#1428
        date: 2023-11-28 18:28:22.0 +01:00
      }
      +ip: null
      +tags: null
      +mentions: [
        "@blahsay@lemmy.world"
        "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
      ]
      +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1650 …}
      +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1668 …}
      +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1666 …}
      +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1669 …}
      +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1585 …}
      +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1573 …}
      -id: 174190
      -bodyTs: "'activ':198 'actual':27 'address':85,207 'angri':214 'annoy':99 'answer':69 'anymor':93 'anyth':117 'care':28 'caus':91 'choos':199 'complain':16,38,78,176 'conserv':144 'continu':58,175 'decid':57 'easi':9 'end':43 'energi':211 'equival':141 'excus':36 'favor':171 'feel':22,47,112,128,187 'fix':10 'frustrat':49,61,92 'fuck':135 'gaslit':131 'get':173 'go':145 'god':122 'hear':100 'help':136 'ignor':7,167 'import':64 'instead':205 'institut':158 'invalid':54,110,126 'isn':87 'issu':31,72 'keep':15,201 'kinda':3 'kvetch':195 'like':23 'mad':203 'make':20 'mean':2 'multipl':157 'narrat':119 'oh':121 'possibl':68 'pregnanc':155 'problem':19,45,83,90,115,179 'proceed':165 're':97 'relationship':140 'remedi':159 'respons':184 'right':161 'shut':106,124 'solut':169 'stop':77 'surround':50 'talk':102 'tell':191 'though':6 'tri':133 'true':5 'underag':154 'valid':186 'want':34,74,104 'wast':210 'watch':143 'weren':52"
      +ranking: 0
      +commentCount: 0
      +upVotes: 0
      +downVotes: 0
      +visibility: "visible             "
      +apId: "https://lemm.ee/comment/6702272"
      +editedAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701991028 {#1440
        date: 2023-12-08 00:17:08.0 +01:00
      }
      +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701192502 {#1434
        date: 2023-11-28 18:28:22.0 +01:00
      }
      +"title": 174190
    }
    0 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1559
      +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
      +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582 …2}
      +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
      +image: null
      +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1567 …}
      +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
      +body: """
        Is it actually wanting to be supported if you don’t want support, just to bitch and moan about a problem that has a solution?\n
        \n
        Why should you be supported and heard when you’re complaining about a problem caused by someone not being able to solve 2+2?\n
        \n
        There is an answer, it has a simple implementation, it will fix the problem, and you’re getting mad it was offered because “I just want to be heard!”\n
        \n
        This isn’t the fucking MeToo movement where women are being spoken over and shut up by institutional violence, this is women deciding feeling valid is more important than addressing the fucking problem that’s making them feel whatever feelings they think need validating more than the problem needs solving.\n
        \n
        “Why can’t we just enjoy the problem a bit?” BECAUSE IT IS A FUCKING PROBLEM, IT BY DEFINITION IS NOT SOMETHING ANYONE ENJOYS, JUST FUCKING SOLVE THE PROBLEM AND STOP GASLIGHTING PEOPLE FOR OFFERING SOLUTIONS TO IT.\n
        \n
        Just because women do it does not mean it is a healthy and valid response to a situation, and this kvetch about “solutions bad” is the crowning example of this.\n
        \n
        We heard the problem, we are supporting you by offering help to solve the problem. You are the one invalidating shit by rejecting solutions in the name of continuing to have a problem to feel valid and complain about.
        """
      +lang: "en"
      +isAdult: false
      +favouriteCount: 13
      +score: 0
      +lastActive: DateTime @1701195766 {#1580
        date: 2023-11-28 19:22:46.0 +01:00
      }
      +ip: null
      +tags: null
      +mentions: [
        "@blahsay@lemmy.world"
        "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
        "@PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee"
        "@ZombieTheZombieCat@lemmy.world"
      ]
      +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1527 …}
      +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1548 …}
      +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1566 …}
      +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1562 …}
      +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1554 …}
      +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1556 …}
      -id: 174363
      -bodyTs: "'+2':49 '2':48 'abl':45 'actual':3 'address':108 'answer':53 'anyon':151 'bad':190 'bit':138 'bitch':16 'caus':40 'complain':36,234 'continu':225 'crown':193 'decid':101 'definit':147 'enjoy':134,152 'exampl':194 'feel':102,116,118,231 'fix':61 'fuck':83,110,143,154 'gaslight':160 'get':67 'healthi':178 'heard':32,78,198 'help':207 'implement':58 'import':106 'institut':96 'invalid':216 'isn':80 'kvetch':187 'mad':68 'make':114 'mean':174 'metoo':84 'moan':18 'movement':85 'name':223 'need':121,127 'offer':71,163,206 'one':215 'peopl':161 'problem':21,39,63,111,126,136,144,157,200,211,229 're':35,66 'reject':219 'respons':181 'shit':217 'shut':93 'simpl':57 'situat':184 'solut':25,164,189,220 'solv':47,128,155,209 'someon':42 'someth':150 'spoken':90 'stop':159 'support':7,13,30,203 'think':120 'valid':103,122,180,232 'violenc':97 'want':4,12,75 'whatev':117 'women':87,100,169"
      +ranking: 0
      +commentCount: 0
      +upVotes: 0
      +downVotes: 0
      +visibility: "visible             "
      +apId: "https://lemm.ee/comment/6704942"
      +editedAt: null
      +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701195766 {#1550
        date: 2023-11-28 19:22:46.0 +01:00
      }
      +"title": 174363
    }
  ]
  -id: 17567
  -titleTs: "'annoy':4 'offer':1 'solut':2"
  -bodyTs: null
  +cross: false
  +upVotes: 0
  +downVotes: 0
  +ranking: 1701218164
  +visibility: "visible             "
  +apId: "https://lemmy.world/post/8849482"
  +editedAt: null
  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701131764 {#1698
    date: 2023-11-28 01:36:04.0 +01:00
  }
  +__isInitialized__: true
   …2
}
 
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
 ACCESS DENIED 
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
4 DENIED moderate 
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582
  +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2391 …}
  +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
  +image: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Image {#2091 …}
  +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2332 …}
  +slug: "Offering-solutions-is-annoying"
  +title: "Offering solutions is annoying"
  +url: "https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/8475be02-b6b3-477f-abb1-96f802798527.png"
  +body: null
  +type: "image"
  +lang: "en"
  +isOc: false
  +hasEmbed: true
  +commentCount: 141
  +favouriteCount: 998
  +score: 0
  +isAdult: false
  +sticky: false
  +lastActive: DateTime @1701562906 {#1721
    date: 2023-12-03 01:21:46.0 +01:00
  }
  +ip: null
  +adaAmount: 0
  +tags: null
  +mentions: null
  +comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2347 …}
  +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2346 …}
  +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2350 …}
  +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2339 …}
  +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2337 …}
  +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2066 …}
  +children: [
    1 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1620
      +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
      +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582 …2}
      +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
      +image: null
      +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1613 …}
      +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
      +body: """
        Ok but *getting upset* if a solution is offered because “can’t you just listen to me‽”\n
        \n
        Is well beyond fair to whoever you have conscripted as your sounding board. At that point it’s not just venting about what you’re going through, it’s attacking them for daring to empathize in a way you didn’t tell them you didn’t want.
        """
      +lang: "en"
      +isAdult: false
      +favouriteCount: 5
      +score: 0
      +lastActive: DateTime @1701202182 {#1555
        date: 2023-11-28 21:09:42.0 +01:00
      }
      +ip: null
      +tags: null
      +mentions: [
        "@blahsay@lemmy.world"
        "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
        "@PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee"
        "@ZombieTheZombieCat@lemmy.world"
        "@JigglySackles@lemmy.world"
      ]
      +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1604 …}
      +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1619 …}
      +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1701 …}
      +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1687 …}
      +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1689 …}
      +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1691 …}
      -id: 174696
      -bodyTs: "'attack':47 'beyond':20 'board':30 'conscript':26 'dare':50 'didn':57,62 'empath':52 'fair':21 'get':3 'go':43 'listen':15 'offer':9 'ok':1 'point':33 're':42 'solut':7 'sound':29 'tell':59 'upset':4 'vent':38 'want':64 'way':55 'well':19 'whoever':23"
      +ranking: 0
      +commentCount: 0
      +upVotes: 0
      +downVotes: 0
      +visibility: "visible             "
      +apId: "https://lemm.ee/comment/6709474"
      +editedAt: null
      +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701202182 {#1621
        date: 2023-11-28 21:09:42.0 +01:00
      }
      +"title": 174696
    }
    2 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1606
      +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
      +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582 …2}
      +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
      +image: null
      +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
      +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
      +body: """
        I mean kinda is true though? Ignoring an easy fix just so you can keep complaining about the problem makes it feel like you don’t actually care about the issue, you just wanted any excuse to complain at me. On our end, the problem and feelings of frustration surrounding it weren’t “invalidated” until you decided continuing to be frustrated was more important than having a possible answer to the issue.\n
        \n
        We want you to stop complaining about it *because the problem is addressed and isn’t a problem causing frustration anymore.* NOT because we’re just annoyed hearing you talk and want to shut you up and invalidate your feelings about the problem.\n
        \n
        If anything this narrative of “oh God just shut up” invalidates OUR feelings about being gaslit for trying to fucking help.\n
        \n
        It’s the relationship equivalent of watching conservatives go on and on and on and on about underage pregnancies when multiple institutional remedies are right there, and they proceed to ignore those solutions in favor of getting to continue complaining about the problem.\n
        \n
        Why is it my responsibility to validate feelings you yourself are telling me are just kvetch that you actively choose to keep being mad about instead of addressing to not waste energy on being angry.
        """
      +lang: "en"
      +isAdult: false
      +favouriteCount: 15
      +score: 0
      +lastActive: DateTime @1701192502 {#1428
        date: 2023-11-28 18:28:22.0 +01:00
      }
      +ip: null
      +tags: null
      +mentions: [
        "@blahsay@lemmy.world"
        "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
      ]
      +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1650 …}
      +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1668 …}
      +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1666 …}
      +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1669 …}
      +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1585 …}
      +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1573 …}
      -id: 174190
      -bodyTs: "'activ':198 'actual':27 'address':85,207 'angri':214 'annoy':99 'answer':69 'anymor':93 'anyth':117 'care':28 'caus':91 'choos':199 'complain':16,38,78,176 'conserv':144 'continu':58,175 'decid':57 'easi':9 'end':43 'energi':211 'equival':141 'excus':36 'favor':171 'feel':22,47,112,128,187 'fix':10 'frustrat':49,61,92 'fuck':135 'gaslit':131 'get':173 'go':145 'god':122 'hear':100 'help':136 'ignor':7,167 'import':64 'instead':205 'institut':158 'invalid':54,110,126 'isn':87 'issu':31,72 'keep':15,201 'kinda':3 'kvetch':195 'like':23 'mad':203 'make':20 'mean':2 'multipl':157 'narrat':119 'oh':121 'possibl':68 'pregnanc':155 'problem':19,45,83,90,115,179 'proceed':165 're':97 'relationship':140 'remedi':159 'respons':184 'right':161 'shut':106,124 'solut':169 'stop':77 'surround':50 'talk':102 'tell':191 'though':6 'tri':133 'true':5 'underag':154 'valid':186 'want':34,74,104 'wast':210 'watch':143 'weren':52"
      +ranking: 0
      +commentCount: 0
      +upVotes: 0
      +downVotes: 0
      +visibility: "visible             "
      +apId: "https://lemm.ee/comment/6702272"
      +editedAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701991028 {#1440
        date: 2023-12-08 00:17:08.0 +01:00
      }
      +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701192502 {#1434
        date: 2023-11-28 18:28:22.0 +01:00
      }
      +"title": 174190
    }
    0 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1559
      +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
      +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582 …2}
      +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
      +image: null
      +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1567 …}
      +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
      +body: """
        Is it actually wanting to be supported if you don’t want support, just to bitch and moan about a problem that has a solution?\n
        \n
        Why should you be supported and heard when you’re complaining about a problem caused by someone not being able to solve 2+2?\n
        \n
        There is an answer, it has a simple implementation, it will fix the problem, and you’re getting mad it was offered because “I just want to be heard!”\n
        \n
        This isn’t the fucking MeToo movement where women are being spoken over and shut up by institutional violence, this is women deciding feeling valid is more important than addressing the fucking problem that’s making them feel whatever feelings they think need validating more than the problem needs solving.\n
        \n
        “Why can’t we just enjoy the problem a bit?” BECAUSE IT IS A FUCKING PROBLEM, IT BY DEFINITION IS NOT SOMETHING ANYONE ENJOYS, JUST FUCKING SOLVE THE PROBLEM AND STOP GASLIGHTING PEOPLE FOR OFFERING SOLUTIONS TO IT.\n
        \n
        Just because women do it does not mean it is a healthy and valid response to a situation, and this kvetch about “solutions bad” is the crowning example of this.\n
        \n
        We heard the problem, we are supporting you by offering help to solve the problem. You are the one invalidating shit by rejecting solutions in the name of continuing to have a problem to feel valid and complain about.
        """
      +lang: "en"
      +isAdult: false
      +favouriteCount: 13
      +score: 0
      +lastActive: DateTime @1701195766 {#1580
        date: 2023-11-28 19:22:46.0 +01:00
      }
      +ip: null
      +tags: null
      +mentions: [
        "@blahsay@lemmy.world"
        "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
        "@PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee"
        "@ZombieTheZombieCat@lemmy.world"
      ]
      +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1527 …}
      +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1548 …}
      +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1566 …}
      +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1562 …}
      +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1554 …}
      +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1556 …}
      -id: 174363
      -bodyTs: "'+2':49 '2':48 'abl':45 'actual':3 'address':108 'answer':53 'anyon':151 'bad':190 'bit':138 'bitch':16 'caus':40 'complain':36,234 'continu':225 'crown':193 'decid':101 'definit':147 'enjoy':134,152 'exampl':194 'feel':102,116,118,231 'fix':61 'fuck':83,110,143,154 'gaslight':160 'get':67 'healthi':178 'heard':32,78,198 'help':207 'implement':58 'import':106 'institut':96 'invalid':216 'isn':80 'kvetch':187 'mad':68 'make':114 'mean':174 'metoo':84 'moan':18 'movement':85 'name':223 'need':121,127 'offer':71,163,206 'one':215 'peopl':161 'problem':21,39,63,111,126,136,144,157,200,211,229 're':35,66 'reject':219 'respons':181 'shit':217 'shut':93 'simpl':57 'situat':184 'solut':25,164,189,220 'solv':47,128,155,209 'someon':42 'someth':150 'spoken':90 'stop':159 'support':7,13,30,203 'think':120 'valid':103,122,180,232 'violenc':97 'want':4,12,75 'whatev':117 'women':87,100,169"
      +ranking: 0
      +commentCount: 0
      +upVotes: 0
      +downVotes: 0
      +visibility: "visible             "
      +apId: "https://lemm.ee/comment/6704942"
      +editedAt: null
      +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701195766 {#1550
        date: 2023-11-28 19:22:46.0 +01:00
      }
      +"title": 174363
    }
  ]
  -id: 17567
  -titleTs: "'annoy':4 'offer':1 'solut':2"
  -bodyTs: null
  +cross: false
  +upVotes: 0
  +downVotes: 0
  +ranking: 1701218164
  +visibility: "visible             "
  +apId: "https://lemmy.world/post/8849482"
  +editedAt: null
  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701131764 {#1698
    date: 2023-11-28 01:36:04.0 +01:00
  }
  +__isInitialized__: true
   …2
}
 
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
 ACCESS DENIED 
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
5 DENIED ROLE_USER 
null
 
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authorization\Voter\RoleHierarchyVoter"
 ACCESS DENIED 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
6 DENIED moderate 
App\Entity\EntryComment {#1620
  +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
  +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582
    +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2391 …}
    +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
    +image: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Image {#2091 …}
    +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2332 …}
    +slug: "Offering-solutions-is-annoying"
    +title: "Offering solutions is annoying"
    +url: "https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/8475be02-b6b3-477f-abb1-96f802798527.png"
    +body: null
    +type: "image"
    +lang: "en"
    +isOc: false
    +hasEmbed: true
    +commentCount: 141
    +favouriteCount: 998
    +score: 0
    +isAdult: false
    +sticky: false
    +lastActive: DateTime @1701562906 {#1721
      date: 2023-12-03 01:21:46.0 +01:00
    }
    +ip: null
    +adaAmount: 0
    +tags: null
    +mentions: null
    +comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2347 …}
    +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2346 …}
    +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2350 …}
    +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2339 …}
    +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2337 …}
    +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2066 …}
    +children: [
      1 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1620}
      2 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1606
        +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
        +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582 …2}
        +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
        +image: null
        +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
        +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
        +body: """
          I mean kinda is true though? Ignoring an easy fix just so you can keep complaining about the problem makes it feel like you don’t actually care about the issue, you just wanted any excuse to complain at me. On our end, the problem and feelings of frustration surrounding it weren’t “invalidated” until you decided continuing to be frustrated was more important than having a possible answer to the issue.\n
          \n
          We want you to stop complaining about it *because the problem is addressed and isn’t a problem causing frustration anymore.* NOT because we’re just annoyed hearing you talk and want to shut you up and invalidate your feelings about the problem.\n
          \n
          If anything this narrative of “oh God just shut up” invalidates OUR feelings about being gaslit for trying to fucking help.\n
          \n
          It’s the relationship equivalent of watching conservatives go on and on and on and on about underage pregnancies when multiple institutional remedies are right there, and they proceed to ignore those solutions in favor of getting to continue complaining about the problem.\n
          \n
          Why is it my responsibility to validate feelings you yourself are telling me are just kvetch that you actively choose to keep being mad about instead of addressing to not waste energy on being angry.
          """
        +lang: "en"
        +isAdult: false
        +favouriteCount: 15
        +score: 0
        +lastActive: DateTime @1701192502 {#1428
          date: 2023-11-28 18:28:22.0 +01:00
        }
        +ip: null
        +tags: null
        +mentions: [
          "@blahsay@lemmy.world"
          "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
        ]
        +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1650 …}
        +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1668 …}
        +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1666 …}
        +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1669 …}
        +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1585 …}
        +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1573 …}
        -id: 174190
        -bodyTs: "'activ':198 'actual':27 'address':85,207 'angri':214 'annoy':99 'answer':69 'anymor':93 'anyth':117 'care':28 'caus':91 'choos':199 'complain':16,38,78,176 'conserv':144 'continu':58,175 'decid':57 'easi':9 'end':43 'energi':211 'equival':141 'excus':36 'favor':171 'feel':22,47,112,128,187 'fix':10 'frustrat':49,61,92 'fuck':135 'gaslit':131 'get':173 'go':145 'god':122 'hear':100 'help':136 'ignor':7,167 'import':64 'instead':205 'institut':158 'invalid':54,110,126 'isn':87 'issu':31,72 'keep':15,201 'kinda':3 'kvetch':195 'like':23 'mad':203 'make':20 'mean':2 'multipl':157 'narrat':119 'oh':121 'possibl':68 'pregnanc':155 'problem':19,45,83,90,115,179 'proceed':165 're':97 'relationship':140 'remedi':159 'respons':184 'right':161 'shut':106,124 'solut':169 'stop':77 'surround':50 'talk':102 'tell':191 'though':6 'tri':133 'true':5 'underag':154 'valid':186 'want':34,74,104 'wast':210 'watch':143 'weren':52"
        +ranking: 0
        +commentCount: 0
        +upVotes: 0
        +downVotes: 0
        +visibility: "visible             "
        +apId: "https://lemm.ee/comment/6702272"
        +editedAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701991028 {#1440
          date: 2023-12-08 00:17:08.0 +01:00
        }
        +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701192502 {#1434
          date: 2023-11-28 18:28:22.0 +01:00
        }
        +"title": 174190
      }
      0 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1559
        +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
        +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582 …2}
        +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
        +image: null
        +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1567 …}
        +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
        +body: """
          Is it actually wanting to be supported if you don’t want support, just to bitch and moan about a problem that has a solution?\n
          \n
          Why should you be supported and heard when you’re complaining about a problem caused by someone not being able to solve 2+2?\n
          \n
          There is an answer, it has a simple implementation, it will fix the problem, and you’re getting mad it was offered because “I just want to be heard!”\n
          \n
          This isn’t the fucking MeToo movement where women are being spoken over and shut up by institutional violence, this is women deciding feeling valid is more important than addressing the fucking problem that’s making them feel whatever feelings they think need validating more than the problem needs solving.\n
          \n
          “Why can’t we just enjoy the problem a bit?” BECAUSE IT IS A FUCKING PROBLEM, IT BY DEFINITION IS NOT SOMETHING ANYONE ENJOYS, JUST FUCKING SOLVE THE PROBLEM AND STOP GASLIGHTING PEOPLE FOR OFFERING SOLUTIONS TO IT.\n
          \n
          Just because women do it does not mean it is a healthy and valid response to a situation, and this kvetch about “solutions bad” is the crowning example of this.\n
          \n
          We heard the problem, we are supporting you by offering help to solve the problem. You are the one invalidating shit by rejecting solutions in the name of continuing to have a problem to feel valid and complain about.
          """
        +lang: "en"
        +isAdult: false
        +favouriteCount: 13
        +score: 0
        +lastActive: DateTime @1701195766 {#1580
          date: 2023-11-28 19:22:46.0 +01:00
        }
        +ip: null
        +tags: null
        +mentions: [
          "@blahsay@lemmy.world"
          "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
          "@PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee"
          "@ZombieTheZombieCat@lemmy.world"
        ]
        +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1527 …}
        +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1548 …}
        +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1566 …}
        +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1562 …}
        +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1554 …}
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        -id: 174363
        -bodyTs: "'+2':49 '2':48 'abl':45 'actual':3 'address':108 'answer':53 'anyon':151 'bad':190 'bit':138 'bitch':16 'caus':40 'complain':36,234 'continu':225 'crown':193 'decid':101 'definit':147 'enjoy':134,152 'exampl':194 'feel':102,116,118,231 'fix':61 'fuck':83,110,143,154 'gaslight':160 'get':67 'healthi':178 'heard':32,78,198 'help':207 'implement':58 'import':106 'institut':96 'invalid':216 'isn':80 'kvetch':187 'mad':68 'make':114 'mean':174 'metoo':84 'moan':18 'movement':85 'name':223 'need':121,127 'offer':71,163,206 'one':215 'peopl':161 'problem':21,39,63,111,126,136,144,157,200,211,229 're':35,66 'reject':219 'respons':181 'shit':217 'shut':93 'simpl':57 'situat':184 'solut':25,164,189,220 'solv':47,128,155,209 'someon':42 'someth':150 'spoken':90 'stop':159 'support':7,13,30,203 'think':120 'valid':103,122,180,232 'violenc':97 'want':4,12,75 'whatev':117 'women':87,100,169"
        +ranking: 0
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        +downVotes: 0
        +visibility: "visible             "
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        +editedAt: null
        +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701195766 {#1550
          date: 2023-11-28 19:22:46.0 +01:00
        }
        +"title": 174363
      }
    ]
    -id: 17567
    -titleTs: "'annoy':4 'offer':1 'solut':2"
    -bodyTs: null
    +cross: false
    +upVotes: 0
    +downVotes: 0
    +ranking: 1701218164
    +visibility: "visible             "
    +apId: "https://lemmy.world/post/8849482"
    +editedAt: null
    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701131764 {#1698
      date: 2023-11-28 01:36:04.0 +01:00
    }
    +__isInitialized__: true
     …2
  }
  +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
  +image: null
  +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1613 …}
  +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
  +body: """
    Ok but *getting upset* if a solution is offered because “can’t you just listen to me‽”\n
    \n
    Is well beyond fair to whoever you have conscripted as your sounding board. At that point it’s not just venting about what you’re going through, it’s attacking them for daring to empathize in a way you didn’t tell them you didn’t want.
    """
  +lang: "en"
  +isAdult: false
  +favouriteCount: 5
  +score: 0
  +lastActive: DateTime @1701202182 {#1555
    date: 2023-11-28 21:09:42.0 +01:00
  }
  +ip: null
  +tags: null
  +mentions: [
    "@blahsay@lemmy.world"
    "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
    "@PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee"
    "@ZombieTheZombieCat@lemmy.world"
    "@JigglySackles@lemmy.world"
  ]
  +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1604 …}
  +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1619 …}
  +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1701 …}
  +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1687 …}
  +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1689 …}
  +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1691 …}
  -id: 174696
  -bodyTs: "'attack':47 'beyond':20 'board':30 'conscript':26 'dare':50 'didn':57,62 'empath':52 'fair':21 'get':3 'go':43 'listen':15 'offer':9 'ok':1 'point':33 're':42 'solut':7 'sound':29 'tell':59 'upset':4 'vent':38 'want':64 'way':55 'well':19 'whoever':23"
  +ranking: 0
  +commentCount: 0
  +upVotes: 0
  +downVotes: 0
  +visibility: "visible             "
  +apId: "https://lemm.ee/comment/6709474"
  +editedAt: null
  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701202182 {#1621
    date: 2023-11-28 21:09:42.0 +01:00
  }
  +"title": 174696
}
 
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
 ACCESS DENIED 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
7 DENIED edit 
App\Entity\EntryComment {#1620
  +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
  +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582
    +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2391 …}
    +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
    +image: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Image {#2091 …}
    +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2332 …}
    +slug: "Offering-solutions-is-annoying"
    +title: "Offering solutions is annoying"
    +url: "https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/8475be02-b6b3-477f-abb1-96f802798527.png"
    +body: null
    +type: "image"
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    +lastActive: DateTime @1701562906 {#1721
      date: 2023-12-03 01:21:46.0 +01:00
    }
    +ip: null
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    +tags: null
    +mentions: null
    +comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2347 …}
    +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2346 …}
    +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2350 …}
    +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2339 …}
    +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2337 …}
    +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2066 …}
    +children: [
      1 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1620}
      2 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1606
        +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
        +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582 …2}
        +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
        +image: null
        +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
        +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
        +body: """
          I mean kinda is true though? Ignoring an easy fix just so you can keep complaining about the problem makes it feel like you don’t actually care about the issue, you just wanted any excuse to complain at me. On our end, the problem and feelings of frustration surrounding it weren’t “invalidated” until you decided continuing to be frustrated was more important than having a possible answer to the issue.\n
          \n
          We want you to stop complaining about it *because the problem is addressed and isn’t a problem causing frustration anymore.* NOT because we’re just annoyed hearing you talk and want to shut you up and invalidate your feelings about the problem.\n
          \n
          If anything this narrative of “oh God just shut up” invalidates OUR feelings about being gaslit for trying to fucking help.\n
          \n
          It’s the relationship equivalent of watching conservatives go on and on and on and on about underage pregnancies when multiple institutional remedies are right there, and they proceed to ignore those solutions in favor of getting to continue complaining about the problem.\n
          \n
          Why is it my responsibility to validate feelings you yourself are telling me are just kvetch that you actively choose to keep being mad about instead of addressing to not waste energy on being angry.
          """
        +lang: "en"
        +isAdult: false
        +favouriteCount: 15
        +score: 0
        +lastActive: DateTime @1701192502 {#1428
          date: 2023-11-28 18:28:22.0 +01:00
        }
        +ip: null
        +tags: null
        +mentions: [
          "@blahsay@lemmy.world"
          "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
        ]
        +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1650 …}
        +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1668 …}
        +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1666 …}
        +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1669 …}
        +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1585 …}
        +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1573 …}
        -id: 174190
        -bodyTs: "'activ':198 'actual':27 'address':85,207 'angri':214 'annoy':99 'answer':69 'anymor':93 'anyth':117 'care':28 'caus':91 'choos':199 'complain':16,38,78,176 'conserv':144 'continu':58,175 'decid':57 'easi':9 'end':43 'energi':211 'equival':141 'excus':36 'favor':171 'feel':22,47,112,128,187 'fix':10 'frustrat':49,61,92 'fuck':135 'gaslit':131 'get':173 'go':145 'god':122 'hear':100 'help':136 'ignor':7,167 'import':64 'instead':205 'institut':158 'invalid':54,110,126 'isn':87 'issu':31,72 'keep':15,201 'kinda':3 'kvetch':195 'like':23 'mad':203 'make':20 'mean':2 'multipl':157 'narrat':119 'oh':121 'possibl':68 'pregnanc':155 'problem':19,45,83,90,115,179 'proceed':165 're':97 'relationship':140 'remedi':159 'respons':184 'right':161 'shut':106,124 'solut':169 'stop':77 'surround':50 'talk':102 'tell':191 'though':6 'tri':133 'true':5 'underag':154 'valid':186 'want':34,74,104 'wast':210 'watch':143 'weren':52"
        +ranking: 0
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        +downVotes: 0
        +visibility: "visible             "
        +apId: "https://lemm.ee/comment/6702272"
        +editedAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701991028 {#1440
          date: 2023-12-08 00:17:08.0 +01:00
        }
        +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701192502 {#1434
          date: 2023-11-28 18:28:22.0 +01:00
        }
        +"title": 174190
      }
      0 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1559
        +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
        +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582 …2}
        +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
        +image: null
        +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1567 …}
        +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
        +body: """
          Is it actually wanting to be supported if you don’t want support, just to bitch and moan about a problem that has a solution?\n
          \n
          Why should you be supported and heard when you’re complaining about a problem caused by someone not being able to solve 2+2?\n
          \n
          There is an answer, it has a simple implementation, it will fix the problem, and you’re getting mad it was offered because “I just want to be heard!”\n
          \n
          This isn’t the fucking MeToo movement where women are being spoken over and shut up by institutional violence, this is women deciding feeling valid is more important than addressing the fucking problem that’s making them feel whatever feelings they think need validating more than the problem needs solving.\n
          \n
          “Why can’t we just enjoy the problem a bit?” BECAUSE IT IS A FUCKING PROBLEM, IT BY DEFINITION IS NOT SOMETHING ANYONE ENJOYS, JUST FUCKING SOLVE THE PROBLEM AND STOP GASLIGHTING PEOPLE FOR OFFERING SOLUTIONS TO IT.\n
          \n
          Just because women do it does not mean it is a healthy and valid response to a situation, and this kvetch about “solutions bad” is the crowning example of this.\n
          \n
          We heard the problem, we are supporting you by offering help to solve the problem. You are the one invalidating shit by rejecting solutions in the name of continuing to have a problem to feel valid and complain about.
          """
        +lang: "en"
        +isAdult: false
        +favouriteCount: 13
        +score: 0
        +lastActive: DateTime @1701195766 {#1580
          date: 2023-11-28 19:22:46.0 +01:00
        }
        +ip: null
        +tags: null
        +mentions: [
          "@blahsay@lemmy.world"
          "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
          "@PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee"
          "@ZombieTheZombieCat@lemmy.world"
        ]
        +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1527 …}
        +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1548 …}
        +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1566 …}
        +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1562 …}
        +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1554 …}
        +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1556 …}
        -id: 174363
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        +ranking: 0
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        +downVotes: 0
        +visibility: "visible             "
        +apId: "https://lemm.ee/comment/6704942"
        +editedAt: null
        +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701195766 {#1550
          date: 2023-11-28 19:22:46.0 +01:00
        }
        +"title": 174363
      }
    ]
    -id: 17567
    -titleTs: "'annoy':4 'offer':1 'solut':2"
    -bodyTs: null
    +cross: false
    +upVotes: 0
    +downVotes: 0
    +ranking: 1701218164
    +visibility: "visible             "
    +apId: "https://lemmy.world/post/8849482"
    +editedAt: null
    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701131764 {#1698
      date: 2023-11-28 01:36:04.0 +01:00
    }
    +__isInitialized__: true
     …2
  }
  +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
  +image: null
  +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1613 …}
  +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
  +body: """
    Ok but *getting upset* if a solution is offered because “can’t you just listen to me‽”\n
    \n
    Is well beyond fair to whoever you have conscripted as your sounding board. At that point it’s not just venting about what you’re going through, it’s attacking them for daring to empathize in a way you didn’t tell them you didn’t want.
    """
  +lang: "en"
  +isAdult: false
  +favouriteCount: 5
  +score: 0
  +lastActive: DateTime @1701202182 {#1555
    date: 2023-11-28 21:09:42.0 +01:00
  }
  +ip: null
  +tags: null
  +mentions: [
    "@blahsay@lemmy.world"
    "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
    "@PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee"
    "@ZombieTheZombieCat@lemmy.world"
    "@JigglySackles@lemmy.world"
  ]
  +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1604 …}
  +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1619 …}
  +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1701 …}
  +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1687 …}
  +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1689 …}
  +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1691 …}
  -id: 174696
  -bodyTs: "'attack':47 'beyond':20 'board':30 'conscript':26 'dare':50 'didn':57,62 'empath':52 'fair':21 'get':3 'go':43 'listen':15 'offer':9 'ok':1 'point':33 're':42 'solut':7 'sound':29 'tell':59 'upset':4 'vent':38 'want':64 'way':55 'well':19 'whoever':23"
  +ranking: 0
  +commentCount: 0
  +upVotes: 0
  +downVotes: 0
  +visibility: "visible             "
  +apId: "https://lemm.ee/comment/6709474"
  +editedAt: null
  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701202182 {#1621
    date: 2023-11-28 21:09:42.0 +01:00
  }
  +"title": 174696
}
 
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
 ACCESS DENIED 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
8 DENIED moderate 
App\Entity\EntryComment {#1620
  +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
  +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582
    +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2391 …}
    +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
    +image: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Image {#2091 …}
    +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2332 …}
    +slug: "Offering-solutions-is-annoying"
    +title: "Offering solutions is annoying"
    +url: "https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/8475be02-b6b3-477f-abb1-96f802798527.png"
    +body: null
    +type: "image"
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    +hasEmbed: true
    +commentCount: 141
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    +lastActive: DateTime @1701562906 {#1721
      date: 2023-12-03 01:21:46.0 +01:00
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    +comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2347 …}
    +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2346 …}
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    +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2339 …}
    +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2337 …}
    +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2066 …}
    +children: [
      1 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1620}
      2 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1606
        +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
        +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582 …2}
        +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
        +image: null
        +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
        +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
        +body: """
          I mean kinda is true though? Ignoring an easy fix just so you can keep complaining about the problem makes it feel like you don’t actually care about the issue, you just wanted any excuse to complain at me. On our end, the problem and feelings of frustration surrounding it weren’t “invalidated” until you decided continuing to be frustrated was more important than having a possible answer to the issue.\n
          \n
          We want you to stop complaining about it *because the problem is addressed and isn’t a problem causing frustration anymore.* NOT because we’re just annoyed hearing you talk and want to shut you up and invalidate your feelings about the problem.\n
          \n
          If anything this narrative of “oh God just shut up” invalidates OUR feelings about being gaslit for trying to fucking help.\n
          \n
          It’s the relationship equivalent of watching conservatives go on and on and on and on about underage pregnancies when multiple institutional remedies are right there, and they proceed to ignore those solutions in favor of getting to continue complaining about the problem.\n
          \n
          Why is it my responsibility to validate feelings you yourself are telling me are just kvetch that you actively choose to keep being mad about instead of addressing to not waste energy on being angry.
          """
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        +isAdult: false
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          "@blahsay@lemmy.world"
          "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
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        +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1650 …}
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        -id: 174190
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        +ranking: 0
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        +visibility: "visible             "
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        +editedAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701991028 {#1440
          date: 2023-12-08 00:17:08.0 +01:00
        }
        +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701192502 {#1434
          date: 2023-11-28 18:28:22.0 +01:00
        }
        +"title": 174190
      }
      0 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1559
        +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
        +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582 …2}
        +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
        +image: null
        +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1567 …}
        +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
        +body: """
          Is it actually wanting to be supported if you don’t want support, just to bitch and moan about a problem that has a solution?\n
          \n
          Why should you be supported and heard when you’re complaining about a problem caused by someone not being able to solve 2+2?\n
          \n
          There is an answer, it has a simple implementation, it will fix the problem, and you’re getting mad it was offered because “I just want to be heard!”\n
          \n
          This isn’t the fucking MeToo movement where women are being spoken over and shut up by institutional violence, this is women deciding feeling valid is more important than addressing the fucking problem that’s making them feel whatever feelings they think need validating more than the problem needs solving.\n
          \n
          “Why can’t we just enjoy the problem a bit?” BECAUSE IT IS A FUCKING PROBLEM, IT BY DEFINITION IS NOT SOMETHING ANYONE ENJOYS, JUST FUCKING SOLVE THE PROBLEM AND STOP GASLIGHTING PEOPLE FOR OFFERING SOLUTIONS TO IT.\n
          \n
          Just because women do it does not mean it is a healthy and valid response to a situation, and this kvetch about “solutions bad” is the crowning example of this.\n
          \n
          We heard the problem, we are supporting you by offering help to solve the problem. You are the one invalidating shit by rejecting solutions in the name of continuing to have a problem to feel valid and complain about.
          """
        +lang: "en"
        +isAdult: false
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          "@blahsay@lemmy.world"
          "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
          "@PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee"
          "@ZombieTheZombieCat@lemmy.world"
        ]
        +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1527 …}
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        +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701195766 {#1550
          date: 2023-11-28 19:22:46.0 +01:00
        }
        +"title": 174363
      }
    ]
    -id: 17567
    -titleTs: "'annoy':4 'offer':1 'solut':2"
    -bodyTs: null
    +cross: false
    +upVotes: 0
    +downVotes: 0
    +ranking: 1701218164
    +visibility: "visible             "
    +apId: "https://lemmy.world/post/8849482"
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    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701131764 {#1698
      date: 2023-11-28 01:36:04.0 +01:00
    }
    +__isInitialized__: true
     …2
  }
  +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
  +image: null
  +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1613 …}
  +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
  +body: """
    Ok but *getting upset* if a solution is offered because “can’t you just listen to me‽”\n
    \n
    Is well beyond fair to whoever you have conscripted as your sounding board. At that point it’s not just venting about what you’re going through, it’s attacking them for daring to empathize in a way you didn’t tell them you didn’t want.
    """
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    date: 2023-11-28 21:09:42.0 +01:00
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    "@blahsay@lemmy.world"
    "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
    "@PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee"
    "@ZombieTheZombieCat@lemmy.world"
    "@JigglySackles@lemmy.world"
  ]
  +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1604 …}
  +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1619 …}
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  -id: 174696
  -bodyTs: "'attack':47 'beyond':20 'board':30 'conscript':26 'dare':50 'didn':57,62 'empath':52 'fair':21 'get':3 'go':43 'listen':15 'offer':9 'ok':1 'point':33 're':42 'solut':7 'sound':29 'tell':59 'upset':4 'vent':38 'want':64 'way':55 'well':19 'whoever':23"
  +ranking: 0
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  +visibility: "visible             "
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  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701202182 {#1621
    date: 2023-11-28 21:09:42.0 +01:00
  }
  +"title": 174696
}
 
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
 ACCESS DENIED 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
9 DENIED ROLE_USER 
null
 
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authorization\Voter\RoleHierarchyVoter"
 ACCESS DENIED 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
10 DENIED moderate 
App\Entity\EntryComment {#1606
  +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
  +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582
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    +image: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Image {#2091 …}
    +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2332 …}
    +slug: "Offering-solutions-is-annoying"
    +title: "Offering solutions is annoying"
    +url: "https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/8475be02-b6b3-477f-abb1-96f802798527.png"
    +body: null
    +type: "image"
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    +ip: null
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    +comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2347 …}
    +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2346 …}
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    +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2339 …}
    +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2337 …}
    +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2066 …}
    +children: [
      1 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1620
        +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
        +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582 …2}
        +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
        +image: null
        +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1613 …}
        +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
        +body: """
          Ok but *getting upset* if a solution is offered because “can’t you just listen to me‽”\n
          \n
          Is well beyond fair to whoever you have conscripted as your sounding board. At that point it’s not just venting about what you’re going through, it’s attacking them for daring to empathize in a way you didn’t tell them you didn’t want.
          """
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          "@blahsay@lemmy.world"
          "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
          "@PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee"
          "@ZombieTheZombieCat@lemmy.world"
          "@JigglySackles@lemmy.world"
        ]
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        -id: 174696
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        +editedAt: null
        +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701202182 {#1621
          date: 2023-11-28 21:09:42.0 +01:00
        }
        +"title": 174696
      }
      2 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1606}
      0 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1559
        +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
        +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582 …2}
        +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
        +image: null
        +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1567 …}
        +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
        +body: """
          Is it actually wanting to be supported if you don’t want support, just to bitch and moan about a problem that has a solution?\n
          \n
          Why should you be supported and heard when you’re complaining about a problem caused by someone not being able to solve 2+2?\n
          \n
          There is an answer, it has a simple implementation, it will fix the problem, and you’re getting mad it was offered because “I just want to be heard!”\n
          \n
          This isn’t the fucking MeToo movement where women are being spoken over and shut up by institutional violence, this is women deciding feeling valid is more important than addressing the fucking problem that’s making them feel whatever feelings they think need validating more than the problem needs solving.\n
          \n
          “Why can’t we just enjoy the problem a bit?” BECAUSE IT IS A FUCKING PROBLEM, IT BY DEFINITION IS NOT SOMETHING ANYONE ENJOYS, JUST FUCKING SOLVE THE PROBLEM AND STOP GASLIGHTING PEOPLE FOR OFFERING SOLUTIONS TO IT.\n
          \n
          Just because women do it does not mean it is a healthy and valid response to a situation, and this kvetch about “solutions bad” is the crowning example of this.\n
          \n
          We heard the problem, we are supporting you by offering help to solve the problem. You are the one invalidating shit by rejecting solutions in the name of continuing to have a problem to feel valid and complain about.
          """
        +lang: "en"
        +isAdult: false
        +favouriteCount: 13
        +score: 0
        +lastActive: DateTime @1701195766 {#1580
          date: 2023-11-28 19:22:46.0 +01:00
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          "@blahsay@lemmy.world"
          "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
          "@PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee"
          "@ZombieTheZombieCat@lemmy.world"
        ]
        +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1527 …}
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        +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701195766 {#1550
          date: 2023-11-28 19:22:46.0 +01:00
        }
        +"title": 174363
      }
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    -id: 17567
    -titleTs: "'annoy':4 'offer':1 'solut':2"
    -bodyTs: null
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    +visibility: "visible             "
    +apId: "https://lemmy.world/post/8849482"
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    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701131764 {#1698
      date: 2023-11-28 01:36:04.0 +01:00
    }
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     …2
  }
  +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
  +image: null
  +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
  +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
  +body: """
    I mean kinda is true though? Ignoring an easy fix just so you can keep complaining about the problem makes it feel like you don’t actually care about the issue, you just wanted any excuse to complain at me. On our end, the problem and feelings of frustration surrounding it weren’t “invalidated” until you decided continuing to be frustrated was more important than having a possible answer to the issue.\n
    \n
    We want you to stop complaining about it *because the problem is addressed and isn’t a problem causing frustration anymore.* NOT because we’re just annoyed hearing you talk and want to shut you up and invalidate your feelings about the problem.\n
    \n
    If anything this narrative of “oh God just shut up” invalidates OUR feelings about being gaslit for trying to fucking help.\n
    \n
    It’s the relationship equivalent of watching conservatives go on and on and on and on about underage pregnancies when multiple institutional remedies are right there, and they proceed to ignore those solutions in favor of getting to continue complaining about the problem.\n
    \n
    Why is it my responsibility to validate feelings you yourself are telling me are just kvetch that you actively choose to keep being mad about instead of addressing to not waste energy on being angry.
    """
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    date: 2023-11-28 18:28:22.0 +01:00
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    "@blahsay@lemmy.world"
    "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
  ]
  +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1650 …}
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  -id: 174190
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  +ranking: 0
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  +visibility: "visible             "
  +apId: "https://lemm.ee/comment/6702272"
  +editedAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701991028 {#1440
    date: 2023-12-08 00:17:08.0 +01:00
  }
  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701192502 {#1434
    date: 2023-11-28 18:28:22.0 +01:00
  }
  +"title": 174190
}
 
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
 ACCESS DENIED 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
11 DENIED edit 
App\Entity\EntryComment {#1606
  +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
  +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582
    +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2391 …}
    +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
    +image: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Image {#2091 …}
    +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2332 …}
    +slug: "Offering-solutions-is-annoying"
    +title: "Offering solutions is annoying"
    +url: "https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/8475be02-b6b3-477f-abb1-96f802798527.png"
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    +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2337 …}
    +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2066 …}
    +children: [
      1 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1620
        +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
        +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582 …2}
        +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
        +image: null
        +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1613 …}
        +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
        +body: """
          Ok but *getting upset* if a solution is offered because “can’t you just listen to me‽”\n
          \n
          Is well beyond fair to whoever you have conscripted as your sounding board. At that point it’s not just venting about what you’re going through, it’s attacking them for daring to empathize in a way you didn’t tell them you didn’t want.
          """
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        +isAdult: false
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          "@blahsay@lemmy.world"
          "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
          "@PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee"
          "@ZombieTheZombieCat@lemmy.world"
          "@JigglySackles@lemmy.world"
        ]
        +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1604 …}
        +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1619 …}
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        +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1689 …}
        +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1691 …}
        -id: 174696
        -bodyTs: "'attack':47 'beyond':20 'board':30 'conscript':26 'dare':50 'didn':57,62 'empath':52 'fair':21 'get':3 'go':43 'listen':15 'offer':9 'ok':1 'point':33 're':42 'solut':7 'sound':29 'tell':59 'upset':4 'vent':38 'want':64 'way':55 'well':19 'whoever':23"
        +ranking: 0
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        +visibility: "visible             "
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        +editedAt: null
        +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701202182 {#1621
          date: 2023-11-28 21:09:42.0 +01:00
        }
        +"title": 174696
      }
      2 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1606}
      0 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1559
        +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
        +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582 …2}
        +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
        +image: null
        +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1567 …}
        +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
        +body: """
          Is it actually wanting to be supported if you don’t want support, just to bitch and moan about a problem that has a solution?\n
          \n
          Why should you be supported and heard when you’re complaining about a problem caused by someone not being able to solve 2+2?\n
          \n
          There is an answer, it has a simple implementation, it will fix the problem, and you’re getting mad it was offered because “I just want to be heard!”\n
          \n
          This isn’t the fucking MeToo movement where women are being spoken over and shut up by institutional violence, this is women deciding feeling valid is more important than addressing the fucking problem that’s making them feel whatever feelings they think need validating more than the problem needs solving.\n
          \n
          “Why can’t we just enjoy the problem a bit?” BECAUSE IT IS A FUCKING PROBLEM, IT BY DEFINITION IS NOT SOMETHING ANYONE ENJOYS, JUST FUCKING SOLVE THE PROBLEM AND STOP GASLIGHTING PEOPLE FOR OFFERING SOLUTIONS TO IT.\n
          \n
          Just because women do it does not mean it is a healthy and valid response to a situation, and this kvetch about “solutions bad” is the crowning example of this.\n
          \n
          We heard the problem, we are supporting you by offering help to solve the problem. You are the one invalidating shit by rejecting solutions in the name of continuing to have a problem to feel valid and complain about.
          """
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        +isAdult: false
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          date: 2023-11-28 19:22:46.0 +01:00
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          "@blahsay@lemmy.world"
          "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
          "@PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee"
          "@ZombieTheZombieCat@lemmy.world"
        ]
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    -titleTs: "'annoy':4 'offer':1 'solut':2"
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      date: 2023-11-28 01:36:04.0 +01:00
    }
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     …2
  }
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  +image: null
  +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
  +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
  +body: """
    I mean kinda is true though? Ignoring an easy fix just so you can keep complaining about the problem makes it feel like you don’t actually care about the issue, you just wanted any excuse to complain at me. On our end, the problem and feelings of frustration surrounding it weren’t “invalidated” until you decided continuing to be frustrated was more important than having a possible answer to the issue.\n
    \n
    We want you to stop complaining about it *because the problem is addressed and isn’t a problem causing frustration anymore.* NOT because we’re just annoyed hearing you talk and want to shut you up and invalidate your feelings about the problem.\n
    \n
    If anything this narrative of “oh God just shut up” invalidates OUR feelings about being gaslit for trying to fucking help.\n
    \n
    It’s the relationship equivalent of watching conservatives go on and on and on and on about underage pregnancies when multiple institutional remedies are right there, and they proceed to ignore those solutions in favor of getting to continue complaining about the problem.\n
    \n
    Why is it my responsibility to validate feelings you yourself are telling me are just kvetch that you actively choose to keep being mad about instead of addressing to not waste energy on being angry.
    """
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    "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
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  -id: 174190
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    date: 2023-12-08 00:17:08.0 +01:00
  }
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    date: 2023-11-28 18:28:22.0 +01:00
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  +"title": 174190
}
 
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
 ACCESS DENIED 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
12 DENIED moderate 
App\Entity\EntryComment {#1606
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    +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2391 …}
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    +image: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Image {#2091 …}
    +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2332 …}
    +slug: "Offering-solutions-is-annoying"
    +title: "Offering solutions is annoying"
    +url: "https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/8475be02-b6b3-477f-abb1-96f802798527.png"
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    +children: [
      1 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1620
        +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
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        +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1613 …}
        +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
        +body: """
          Ok but *getting upset* if a solution is offered because “can’t you just listen to me‽”\n
          \n
          Is well beyond fair to whoever you have conscripted as your sounding board. At that point it’s not just venting about what you’re going through, it’s attacking them for daring to empathize in a way you didn’t tell them you didn’t want.
          """
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          "@blahsay@lemmy.world"
          "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
          "@PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee"
          "@ZombieTheZombieCat@lemmy.world"
          "@JigglySackles@lemmy.world"
        ]
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        +"title": 174696
      }
      2 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1606}
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        +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582 …2}
        +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
        +image: null
        +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1567 …}
        +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
        +body: """
          Is it actually wanting to be supported if you don’t want support, just to bitch and moan about a problem that has a solution?\n
          \n
          Why should you be supported and heard when you’re complaining about a problem caused by someone not being able to solve 2+2?\n
          \n
          There is an answer, it has a simple implementation, it will fix the problem, and you’re getting mad it was offered because “I just want to be heard!”\n
          \n
          This isn’t the fucking MeToo movement where women are being spoken over and shut up by institutional violence, this is women deciding feeling valid is more important than addressing the fucking problem that’s making them feel whatever feelings they think need validating more than the problem needs solving.\n
          \n
          “Why can’t we just enjoy the problem a bit?” BECAUSE IT IS A FUCKING PROBLEM, IT BY DEFINITION IS NOT SOMETHING ANYONE ENJOYS, JUST FUCKING SOLVE THE PROBLEM AND STOP GASLIGHTING PEOPLE FOR OFFERING SOLUTIONS TO IT.\n
          \n
          Just because women do it does not mean it is a healthy and valid response to a situation, and this kvetch about “solutions bad” is the crowning example of this.\n
          \n
          We heard the problem, we are supporting you by offering help to solve the problem. You are the one invalidating shit by rejecting solutions in the name of continuing to have a problem to feel valid and complain about.
          """
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          "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
          "@PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee"
          "@ZombieTheZombieCat@lemmy.world"
        ]
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          date: 2023-11-28 19:22:46.0 +01:00
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    -id: 17567
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    +apId: "https://lemmy.world/post/8849482"
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    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701131764 {#1698
      date: 2023-11-28 01:36:04.0 +01:00
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    +__isInitialized__: true
     …2
  }
  +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
  +image: null
  +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
  +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
  +body: """
    I mean kinda is true though? Ignoring an easy fix just so you can keep complaining about the problem makes it feel like you don’t actually care about the issue, you just wanted any excuse to complain at me. On our end, the problem and feelings of frustration surrounding it weren’t “invalidated” until you decided continuing to be frustrated was more important than having a possible answer to the issue.\n
    \n
    We want you to stop complaining about it *because the problem is addressed and isn’t a problem causing frustration anymore.* NOT because we’re just annoyed hearing you talk and want to shut you up and invalidate your feelings about the problem.\n
    \n
    If anything this narrative of “oh God just shut up” invalidates OUR feelings about being gaslit for trying to fucking help.\n
    \n
    It’s the relationship equivalent of watching conservatives go on and on and on and on about underage pregnancies when multiple institutional remedies are right there, and they proceed to ignore those solutions in favor of getting to continue complaining about the problem.\n
    \n
    Why is it my responsibility to validate feelings you yourself are telling me are just kvetch that you actively choose to keep being mad about instead of addressing to not waste energy on being angry.
    """
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  -id: 174190
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    date: 2023-12-08 00:17:08.0 +01:00
  }
  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701192502 {#1434
    date: 2023-11-28 18:28:22.0 +01:00
  }
  +"title": 174190
}
 
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
 ACCESS DENIED 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
13 DENIED ROLE_USER 
null
 
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authorization\Voter\RoleHierarchyVoter"
 ACCESS DENIED 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
14 DENIED moderate 
App\Entity\EntryComment {#1559
  +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
  +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582
    +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2391 …}
    +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
    +image: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Image {#2091 …}
    +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2332 …}
    +slug: "Offering-solutions-is-annoying"
    +title: "Offering solutions is annoying"
    +url: "https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/8475be02-b6b3-477f-abb1-96f802798527.png"
    +body: null
    +type: "image"
    +lang: "en"
    +isOc: false
    +hasEmbed: true
    +commentCount: 141
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    +lastActive: DateTime @1701562906 {#1721
      date: 2023-12-03 01:21:46.0 +01:00
    }
    +ip: null
    +adaAmount: 0
    +tags: null
    +mentions: null
    +comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2347 …}
    +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2346 …}
    +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2350 …}
    +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2339 …}
    +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2337 …}
    +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2066 …}
    +children: [
      1 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1620
        +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
        +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582 …2}
        +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
        +image: null
        +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1613 …}
        +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
        +body: """
          Ok but *getting upset* if a solution is offered because “can’t you just listen to me‽”\n
          \n
          Is well beyond fair to whoever you have conscripted as your sounding board. At that point it’s not just venting about what you’re going through, it’s attacking them for daring to empathize in a way you didn’t tell them you didn’t want.
          """
        +lang: "en"
        +isAdult: false
        +favouriteCount: 5
        +score: 0
        +lastActive: DateTime @1701202182 {#1555
          date: 2023-11-28 21:09:42.0 +01:00
        }
        +ip: null
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        +mentions: [
          "@blahsay@lemmy.world"
          "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
          "@PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee"
          "@ZombieTheZombieCat@lemmy.world"
          "@JigglySackles@lemmy.world"
        ]
        +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1604 …}
        +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1619 …}
        +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1701 …}
        +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1687 …}
        +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1689 …}
        +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1691 …}
        -id: 174696
        -bodyTs: "'attack':47 'beyond':20 'board':30 'conscript':26 'dare':50 'didn':57,62 'empath':52 'fair':21 'get':3 'go':43 'listen':15 'offer':9 'ok':1 'point':33 're':42 'solut':7 'sound':29 'tell':59 'upset':4 'vent':38 'want':64 'way':55 'well':19 'whoever':23"
        +ranking: 0
        +commentCount: 0
        +upVotes: 0
        +downVotes: 0
        +visibility: "visible             "
        +apId: "https://lemm.ee/comment/6709474"
        +editedAt: null
        +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701202182 {#1621
          date: 2023-11-28 21:09:42.0 +01:00
        }
        +"title": 174696
      }
      2 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1606
        +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
        +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582 …2}
        +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
        +image: null
        +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
        +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
        +body: """
          I mean kinda is true though? Ignoring an easy fix just so you can keep complaining about the problem makes it feel like you don’t actually care about the issue, you just wanted any excuse to complain at me. On our end, the problem and feelings of frustration surrounding it weren’t “invalidated” until you decided continuing to be frustrated was more important than having a possible answer to the issue.\n
          \n
          We want you to stop complaining about it *because the problem is addressed and isn’t a problem causing frustration anymore.* NOT because we’re just annoyed hearing you talk and want to shut you up and invalidate your feelings about the problem.\n
          \n
          If anything this narrative of “oh God just shut up” invalidates OUR feelings about being gaslit for trying to fucking help.\n
          \n
          It’s the relationship equivalent of watching conservatives go on and on and on and on about underage pregnancies when multiple institutional remedies are right there, and they proceed to ignore those solutions in favor of getting to continue complaining about the problem.\n
          \n
          Why is it my responsibility to validate feelings you yourself are telling me are just kvetch that you actively choose to keep being mad about instead of addressing to not waste energy on being angry.
          """
        +lang: "en"
        +isAdult: false
        +favouriteCount: 15
        +score: 0
        +lastActive: DateTime @1701192502 {#1428
          date: 2023-11-28 18:28:22.0 +01:00
        }
        +ip: null
        +tags: null
        +mentions: [
          "@blahsay@lemmy.world"
          "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
        ]
        +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1650 …}
        +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1668 …}
        +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1666 …}
        +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1669 …}
        +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1585 …}
        +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1573 …}
        -id: 174190
        -bodyTs: "'activ':198 'actual':27 'address':85,207 'angri':214 'annoy':99 'answer':69 'anymor':93 'anyth':117 'care':28 'caus':91 'choos':199 'complain':16,38,78,176 'conserv':144 'continu':58,175 'decid':57 'easi':9 'end':43 'energi':211 'equival':141 'excus':36 'favor':171 'feel':22,47,112,128,187 'fix':10 'frustrat':49,61,92 'fuck':135 'gaslit':131 'get':173 'go':145 'god':122 'hear':100 'help':136 'ignor':7,167 'import':64 'instead':205 'institut':158 'invalid':54,110,126 'isn':87 'issu':31,72 'keep':15,201 'kinda':3 'kvetch':195 'like':23 'mad':203 'make':20 'mean':2 'multipl':157 'narrat':119 'oh':121 'possibl':68 'pregnanc':155 'problem':19,45,83,90,115,179 'proceed':165 're':97 'relationship':140 'remedi':159 'respons':184 'right':161 'shut':106,124 'solut':169 'stop':77 'surround':50 'talk':102 'tell':191 'though':6 'tri':133 'true':5 'underag':154 'valid':186 'want':34,74,104 'wast':210 'watch':143 'weren':52"
        +ranking: 0
        +commentCount: 0
        +upVotes: 0
        +downVotes: 0
        +visibility: "visible             "
        +apId: "https://lemm.ee/comment/6702272"
        +editedAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701991028 {#1440
          date: 2023-12-08 00:17:08.0 +01:00
        }
        +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701192502 {#1434
          date: 2023-11-28 18:28:22.0 +01:00
        }
        +"title": 174190
      }
      0 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1559}
    ]
    -id: 17567
    -titleTs: "'annoy':4 'offer':1 'solut':2"
    -bodyTs: null
    +cross: false
    +upVotes: 0
    +downVotes: 0
    +ranking: 1701218164
    +visibility: "visible             "
    +apId: "https://lemmy.world/post/8849482"
    +editedAt: null
    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701131764 {#1698
      date: 2023-11-28 01:36:04.0 +01:00
    }
    +__isInitialized__: true
     …2
  }
  +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
  +image: null
  +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1567 …}
  +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
  +body: """
    Is it actually wanting to be supported if you don’t want support, just to bitch and moan about a problem that has a solution?\n
    \n
    Why should you be supported and heard when you’re complaining about a problem caused by someone not being able to solve 2+2?\n
    \n
    There is an answer, it has a simple implementation, it will fix the problem, and you’re getting mad it was offered because “I just want to be heard!”\n
    \n
    This isn’t the fucking MeToo movement where women are being spoken over and shut up by institutional violence, this is women deciding feeling valid is more important than addressing the fucking problem that’s making them feel whatever feelings they think need validating more than the problem needs solving.\n
    \n
    “Why can’t we just enjoy the problem a bit?” BECAUSE IT IS A FUCKING PROBLEM, IT BY DEFINITION IS NOT SOMETHING ANYONE ENJOYS, JUST FUCKING SOLVE THE PROBLEM AND STOP GASLIGHTING PEOPLE FOR OFFERING SOLUTIONS TO IT.\n
    \n
    Just because women do it does not mean it is a healthy and valid response to a situation, and this kvetch about “solutions bad” is the crowning example of this.\n
    \n
    We heard the problem, we are supporting you by offering help to solve the problem. You are the one invalidating shit by rejecting solutions in the name of continuing to have a problem to feel valid and complain about.
    """
  +lang: "en"
  +isAdult: false
  +favouriteCount: 13
  +score: 0
  +lastActive: DateTime @1701195766 {#1580
    date: 2023-11-28 19:22:46.0 +01:00
  }
  +ip: null
  +tags: null
  +mentions: [
    "@blahsay@lemmy.world"
    "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
    "@PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee"
    "@ZombieTheZombieCat@lemmy.world"
  ]
  +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1527 …}
  +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1548 …}
  +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1566 …}
  +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1562 …}
  +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1554 …}
  +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1556 …}
  -id: 174363
  -bodyTs: "'+2':49 '2':48 'abl':45 'actual':3 'address':108 'answer':53 'anyon':151 'bad':190 'bit':138 'bitch':16 'caus':40 'complain':36,234 'continu':225 'crown':193 'decid':101 'definit':147 'enjoy':134,152 'exampl':194 'feel':102,116,118,231 'fix':61 'fuck':83,110,143,154 'gaslight':160 'get':67 'healthi':178 'heard':32,78,198 'help':207 'implement':58 'import':106 'institut':96 'invalid':216 'isn':80 'kvetch':187 'mad':68 'make':114 'mean':174 'metoo':84 'moan':18 'movement':85 'name':223 'need':121,127 'offer':71,163,206 'one':215 'peopl':161 'problem':21,39,63,111,126,136,144,157,200,211,229 're':35,66 'reject':219 'respons':181 'shit':217 'shut':93 'simpl':57 'situat':184 'solut':25,164,189,220 'solv':47,128,155,209 'someon':42 'someth':150 'spoken':90 'stop':159 'support':7,13,30,203 'think':120 'valid':103,122,180,232 'violenc':97 'want':4,12,75 'whatev':117 'women':87,100,169"
  +ranking: 0
  +commentCount: 0
  +upVotes: 0
  +downVotes: 0
  +visibility: "visible             "
  +apId: "https://lemm.ee/comment/6704942"
  +editedAt: null
  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701195766 {#1550
    date: 2023-11-28 19:22:46.0 +01:00
  }
  +"title": 174363
}
 
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
 ACCESS DENIED 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
15 DENIED edit 
App\Entity\EntryComment {#1559
  +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
  +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582
    +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2391 …}
    +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
    +image: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Image {#2091 …}
    +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2332 …}
    +slug: "Offering-solutions-is-annoying"
    +title: "Offering solutions is annoying"
    +url: "https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/8475be02-b6b3-477f-abb1-96f802798527.png"
    +body: null
    +type: "image"
    +lang: "en"
    +isOc: false
    +hasEmbed: true
    +commentCount: 141
    +favouriteCount: 998
    +score: 0
    +isAdult: false
    +sticky: false
    +lastActive: DateTime @1701562906 {#1721
      date: 2023-12-03 01:21:46.0 +01:00
    }
    +ip: null
    +adaAmount: 0
    +tags: null
    +mentions: null
    +comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2347 …}
    +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2346 …}
    +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2350 …}
    +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2339 …}
    +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2337 …}
    +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2066 …}
    +children: [
      1 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1620
        +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
        +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582 …2}
        +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
        +image: null
        +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1613 …}
        +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
        +body: """
          Ok but *getting upset* if a solution is offered because “can’t you just listen to me‽”\n
          \n
          Is well beyond fair to whoever you have conscripted as your sounding board. At that point it’s not just venting about what you’re going through, it’s attacking them for daring to empathize in a way you didn’t tell them you didn’t want.
          """
        +lang: "en"
        +isAdult: false
        +favouriteCount: 5
        +score: 0
        +lastActive: DateTime @1701202182 {#1555
          date: 2023-11-28 21:09:42.0 +01:00
        }
        +ip: null
        +tags: null
        +mentions: [
          "@blahsay@lemmy.world"
          "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
          "@PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee"
          "@ZombieTheZombieCat@lemmy.world"
          "@JigglySackles@lemmy.world"
        ]
        +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1604 …}
        +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1619 …}
        +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1701 …}
        +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1687 …}
        +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1689 …}
        +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1691 …}
        -id: 174696
        -bodyTs: "'attack':47 'beyond':20 'board':30 'conscript':26 'dare':50 'didn':57,62 'empath':52 'fair':21 'get':3 'go':43 'listen':15 'offer':9 'ok':1 'point':33 're':42 'solut':7 'sound':29 'tell':59 'upset':4 'vent':38 'want':64 'way':55 'well':19 'whoever':23"
        +ranking: 0
        +commentCount: 0
        +upVotes: 0
        +downVotes: 0
        +visibility: "visible             "
        +apId: "https://lemm.ee/comment/6709474"
        +editedAt: null
        +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701202182 {#1621
          date: 2023-11-28 21:09:42.0 +01:00
        }
        +"title": 174696
      }
      2 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1606
        +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
        +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582 …2}
        +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
        +image: null
        +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
        +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
        +body: """
          I mean kinda is true though? Ignoring an easy fix just so you can keep complaining about the problem makes it feel like you don’t actually care about the issue, you just wanted any excuse to complain at me. On our end, the problem and feelings of frustration surrounding it weren’t “invalidated” until you decided continuing to be frustrated was more important than having a possible answer to the issue.\n
          \n
          We want you to stop complaining about it *because the problem is addressed and isn’t a problem causing frustration anymore.* NOT because we’re just annoyed hearing you talk and want to shut you up and invalidate your feelings about the problem.\n
          \n
          If anything this narrative of “oh God just shut up” invalidates OUR feelings about being gaslit for trying to fucking help.\n
          \n
          It’s the relationship equivalent of watching conservatives go on and on and on and on about underage pregnancies when multiple institutional remedies are right there, and they proceed to ignore those solutions in favor of getting to continue complaining about the problem.\n
          \n
          Why is it my responsibility to validate feelings you yourself are telling me are just kvetch that you actively choose to keep being mad about instead of addressing to not waste energy on being angry.
          """
        +lang: "en"
        +isAdult: false
        +favouriteCount: 15
        +score: 0
        +lastActive: DateTime @1701192502 {#1428
          date: 2023-11-28 18:28:22.0 +01:00
        }
        +ip: null
        +tags: null
        +mentions: [
          "@blahsay@lemmy.world"
          "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
        ]
        +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1650 …}
        +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1668 …}
        +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1666 …}
        +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1669 …}
        +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1585 …}
        +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1573 …}
        -id: 174190
        -bodyTs: "'activ':198 'actual':27 'address':85,207 'angri':214 'annoy':99 'answer':69 'anymor':93 'anyth':117 'care':28 'caus':91 'choos':199 'complain':16,38,78,176 'conserv':144 'continu':58,175 'decid':57 'easi':9 'end':43 'energi':211 'equival':141 'excus':36 'favor':171 'feel':22,47,112,128,187 'fix':10 'frustrat':49,61,92 'fuck':135 'gaslit':131 'get':173 'go':145 'god':122 'hear':100 'help':136 'ignor':7,167 'import':64 'instead':205 'institut':158 'invalid':54,110,126 'isn':87 'issu':31,72 'keep':15,201 'kinda':3 'kvetch':195 'like':23 'mad':203 'make':20 'mean':2 'multipl':157 'narrat':119 'oh':121 'possibl':68 'pregnanc':155 'problem':19,45,83,90,115,179 'proceed':165 're':97 'relationship':140 'remedi':159 'respons':184 'right':161 'shut':106,124 'solut':169 'stop':77 'surround':50 'talk':102 'tell':191 'though':6 'tri':133 'true':5 'underag':154 'valid':186 'want':34,74,104 'wast':210 'watch':143 'weren':52"
        +ranking: 0
        +commentCount: 0
        +upVotes: 0
        +downVotes: 0
        +visibility: "visible             "
        +apId: "https://lemm.ee/comment/6702272"
        +editedAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701991028 {#1440
          date: 2023-12-08 00:17:08.0 +01:00
        }
        +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701192502 {#1434
          date: 2023-11-28 18:28:22.0 +01:00
        }
        +"title": 174190
      }
      0 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1559}
    ]
    -id: 17567
    -titleTs: "'annoy':4 'offer':1 'solut':2"
    -bodyTs: null
    +cross: false
    +upVotes: 0
    +downVotes: 0
    +ranking: 1701218164
    +visibility: "visible             "
    +apId: "https://lemmy.world/post/8849482"
    +editedAt: null
    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701131764 {#1698
      date: 2023-11-28 01:36:04.0 +01:00
    }
    +__isInitialized__: true
     …2
  }
  +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
  +image: null
  +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1567 …}
  +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1654 …}
  +body: """
    Is it actually wanting to be supported if you don’t want support, just to bitch and moan about a problem that has a solution?\n
    \n
    Why should you be supported and heard when you’re complaining about a problem caused by someone not being able to solve 2+2?\n
    \n
    There is an answer, it has a simple implementation, it will fix the problem, and you’re getting mad it was offered because “I just want to be heard!”\n
    \n
    This isn’t the fucking MeToo movement where women are being spoken over and shut up by institutional violence, this is women deciding feeling valid is more important than addressing the fucking problem that’s making them feel whatever feelings they think need validating more than the problem needs solving.\n
    \n
    “Why can’t we just enjoy the problem a bit?” BECAUSE IT IS A FUCKING PROBLEM, IT BY DEFINITION IS NOT SOMETHING ANYONE ENJOYS, JUST FUCKING SOLVE THE PROBLEM AND STOP GASLIGHTING PEOPLE FOR OFFERING SOLUTIONS TO IT.\n
    \n
    Just because women do it does not mean it is a healthy and valid response to a situation, and this kvetch about “solutions bad” is the crowning example of this.\n
    \n
    We heard the problem, we are supporting you by offering help to solve the problem. You are the one invalidating shit by rejecting solutions in the name of continuing to have a problem to feel valid and complain about.
    """
  +lang: "en"
  +isAdult: false
  +favouriteCount: 13
  +score: 0
  +lastActive: DateTime @1701195766 {#1580
    date: 2023-11-28 19:22:46.0 +01:00
  }
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    "@PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee"
    "@ZombieTheZombieCat@lemmy.world"
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  +ranking: 0
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  +apId: "https://lemm.ee/comment/6704942"
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  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701195766 {#1550
    date: 2023-11-28 19:22:46.0 +01:00
  }
  +"title": 174363
}
 
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
 ACCESS DENIED 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
16 DENIED moderate 
App\Entity\EntryComment {#1559
  +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
  +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582
    +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2391 …}
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    +image: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Image {#2091 …}
    +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2332 …}
    +slug: "Offering-solutions-is-annoying"
    +title: "Offering solutions is annoying"
    +url: "https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/8475be02-b6b3-477f-abb1-96f802798527.png"
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      1 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1620
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        +body: """
          Ok but *getting upset* if a solution is offered because “can’t you just listen to me‽”\n
          \n
          Is well beyond fair to whoever you have conscripted as your sounding board. At that point it’s not just venting about what you’re going through, it’s attacking them for daring to empathize in a way you didn’t tell them you didn’t want.
          """
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          "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
          "@PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee"
          "@ZombieTheZombieCat@lemmy.world"
          "@JigglySackles@lemmy.world"
        ]
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        -id: 174696
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        +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701202182 {#1621
          date: 2023-11-28 21:09:42.0 +01:00
        }
        +"title": 174696
      }
      2 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1606
        +user: App\Entity\User {#265 …}
        +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1582 …2}
        +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1574 …}
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        +body: """
          I mean kinda is true though? Ignoring an easy fix just so you can keep complaining about the problem makes it feel like you don’t actually care about the issue, you just wanted any excuse to complain at me. On our end, the problem and feelings of frustration surrounding it weren’t “invalidated” until you decided continuing to be frustrated was more important than having a possible answer to the issue.\n
          \n
          We want you to stop complaining about it *because the problem is addressed and isn’t a problem causing frustration anymore.* NOT because we’re just annoyed hearing you talk and want to shut you up and invalidate your feelings about the problem.\n
          \n
          If anything this narrative of “oh God just shut up” invalidates OUR feelings about being gaslit for trying to fucking help.\n
          \n
          It’s the relationship equivalent of watching conservatives go on and on and on and on about underage pregnancies when multiple institutional remedies are right there, and they proceed to ignore those solutions in favor of getting to continue complaining about the problem.\n
          \n
          Why is it my responsibility to validate feelings you yourself are telling me are just kvetch that you actively choose to keep being mad about instead of addressing to not waste energy on being angry.
          """
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          "@calypsopub@lemmy.world"
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          date: 2023-12-08 00:17:08.0 +01:00
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          date: 2023-11-28 18:28:22.0 +01:00
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        +"title": 174190
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      0 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1559}
    ]
    -id: 17567
    -titleTs: "'annoy':4 'offer':1 'solut':2"
    -bodyTs: null
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    +ranking: 1701218164
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      date: 2023-11-28 01:36:04.0 +01:00
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     …2
  }
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  +body: """
    Is it actually wanting to be supported if you don’t want support, just to bitch and moan about a problem that has a solution?\n
    \n
    Why should you be supported and heard when you’re complaining about a problem caused by someone not being able to solve 2+2?\n
    \n
    There is an answer, it has a simple implementation, it will fix the problem, and you’re getting mad it was offered because “I just want to be heard!”\n
    \n
    This isn’t the fucking MeToo movement where women are being spoken over and shut up by institutional violence, this is women deciding feeling valid is more important than addressing the fucking problem that’s making them feel whatever feelings they think need validating more than the problem needs solving.\n
    \n
    “Why can’t we just enjoy the problem a bit?” BECAUSE IT IS A FUCKING PROBLEM, IT BY DEFINITION IS NOT SOMETHING ANYONE ENJOYS, JUST FUCKING SOLVE THE PROBLEM AND STOP GASLIGHTING PEOPLE FOR OFFERING SOLUTIONS TO IT.\n
    \n
    Just because women do it does not mean it is a healthy and valid response to a situation, and this kvetch about “solutions bad” is the crowning example of this.\n
    \n
    We heard the problem, we are supporting you by offering help to solve the problem. You are the one invalidating shit by rejecting solutions in the name of continuing to have a problem to feel valid and complain about.
    """
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  +ranking: 0
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  +visibility: "visible             "
  +apId: "https://lemm.ee/comment/6704942"
  +editedAt: null
  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701195766 {#1550
    date: 2023-11-28 19:22:46.0 +01:00
  }
  +"title": 174363
}
 
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
 ACCESS DENIED 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
17 DENIED ROLE_ADMIN 
null
 
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authorization\Voter\RoleHierarchyVoter"
 ACCESS DENIED 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
18 DENIED ROLE_MODERATOR 
null
 
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authorization\Voter\RoleHierarchyVoter"
 ACCESS DENIED 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN 
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
 ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details