Symfony Profiler

[
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    +slug: "OOP-learns-a-hard-lesson-about-herself"
    +title: "OOP learns a hard lesson about herself"
    +url: null
    +body: """
      *This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
      \n
      *I am NOT OP. Original post by* [*u*](https://www.reddit.com/u/Yourgirlanonishere)*/thra_Impress6525* *in* [*r/relationship_advice*](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice)\n
      \n
      Mood spoiler:\n
      \n
      show spoilerSad, but hopeful for OOP\n
      \n
      \u{200B}\n
      \n
      [Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wv3rbh/my_26f_fiance_is_convinced_i_have_a_crush_on_my/)\n
      \n
      \u{200B}\n
      \n
      My best friend Sarah (26F) and her husband Matt (28M) have put me in a very difficult position with my fiance Jack (30M). I knew Matt since my childhood, he was my neighbor and we were friendly. Sarah and I were roommates in college and became close friends.\n
      \n
      When I introduced Sarah and Matt, they hit it off and started dating each other. I was happy to see two of my friends get together but also annoyed that I became the third wheel and was often ignored or set aside because they were so into each other. By the time I graduated, Matt had completely dropped me as a friend. That saddened me but I was still good friends with Sarah so it was what it was. Sarah and I would frequently hang out, but I never talked with Matt other than the occasional polite hellos. Sarah would sometimes try to do couples dates with her and Matt and me and my dates. I found that Matt had developed an unpleasant personality and would frequently be rude and condescending towards me. However, he’s a very devoted and loving husband to Sarah so for her sake I ignored him.\n
      \n
      When my fiance and I got engaged, we had no plans to do a party. Sarah was disappointed that we didn’t throw an engagement party so she organized a small get-together at her home to celebrate us. The party was nice and as things were winding down, my fiance and I went to thank Sarah and Matt for their sweet gesture before we took our leave. Matt was pretty tipsy by then and out of nowhere he suddenly hugged me and in front of my fiance said that he was so glad that I was finally settling down and he is relieved that now I’ll be over the crush I had on him. I was shocked and told him that wasn’t true. He just laughed and told Jack that I was always chasing him and he had to work hard to keep me away. I dragged Sarah in and asked her to please fix this mess and she was all like oh he’s drunk ignore him and says, you know I always trust you, I know you wouldn’t act on your crush.\n
      \n
      Jack was pretty pissed by this point and he walked out. I ran after him and tried explaining that this isn’t true but he told me he doesn’t want to be anyone’s second choice or their backup plan. Since that night he isn’t talking to me or returning my calls.\n
      \n
      I have talked to Sarah multiple times to clear things with Jack but she’s brushing me off. I don’t understand why they believe this or why she’d stay friends with me if she thought I was into her husband. I was in her wedding party and did all the work because her sister who was the MOH was too busy. I have helped her through her pregnancy and have babysat her kid so many times. She never gave me any indication she thought this and why would she want me close to her family if she believed this? I feel humiliated that these people think I was pining away for a jerk like Matt.\n
      \n
      I need help in convincing Jack this isn’t true. I am also mad at him for throwing away our relationship over what some drunken idiot said. I don’t know what I am going to do about my friendship with Sarah.\n
      \n
      **Update:**\n
      \n
      I talked to Sarah again and asked her first of all why she’d think I had a crush on Matt. She said that when I first introduced them I had talked up Matt and gushed about him and she took that as me being into him. I said I was fond of him since I’ve known him for a long time but that doesn’t mean I want to be with him. She said when they started dating I was often upset about it. I said I wasn’t upset about their dating, I was upset that she’d make plans with me and then leave me to be with him and when we were all together I didn’t enjoy being the third wheel while they ignored me. That had nothing to do with wanting him and more to not liking being left out by my best friend. I asked her why she hadn’t said anything before and she explained that she could “manage” the situation. She had asked Matt to stop talking to me completely and she engineered situations so there was little chance of us socializing with each other.\n
      \n
      I asked her now that I have explained that I never had a crush on Matt, can you please talk to Jack and tell him. She said she didn’t want to lie. This frustrated me immensely. She could ignore this imaginary crush for years and manipulate me, but won’t talk to my fiance to help my relationship. I told her I was done being her friend. Thinking back I was always doing stuff for her and she used me but did little for me.\n
      \n
      \u{200B}\n
      \n
      [Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wz6ubd/update_my_26f_fiance_is_convinced_i_have_a_crush/) (posted yesterday):\n
      \n
      Tl;dr: Jack and I broke up.\n
      \n
      I wrote a long letter to Jack explaining the entire history of my relationship with Sarah and Matt with the recent screencaps. I asserted as best as I could that I had never pined after any guy and I loved him and he was my only choice.\n
      \n
      After days of silence, Jack agreed to talk to me. We met and he said that he sees two ways of interpreting this situation. One, Matt and Sarah are right and he doesn’t want to be my second choice. Two, they are malicious people who are messing with me and that shows very poor judgment on my part that I’d have a best friend like this and he doesn’t want that quality in a life partner. Either possibility leads to the same conclusion that he wants to call off the engagement.\n
      \n
      He reminded me that I had represented Sarah as one of the most important people in my life. I’d jump up and help her all the time. I had once canceled plans with him to take care of her kid when the baby was sick. It had irked him but he had seen it as me being caring and nice, but now he’s seeing all that in a different light.\n
      \n
      I cried and begged him not to end our engagement, but he wanted a break for a while. I thought over what he said for a few days and came to realize that he was right. I was a clingy friend and a doormat. I never even saw how much one sided my friendship with Sarah was. I was a doormat with Jack too. I didn’t want to get married or have kids this early but agreed to his timelines. I gave up an exciting job opportunity with more money because he didn’t want me traveling for work. I love him but I need to fix myself and be stronger.\n
      \n
      I gave back his ring and ended things. I returned all the gifts he gave too. He was offended by that, but I didn’t feel good about keeping the very expensive things he had given me. He makes a lot more than me and was very generous with what he gave me, but I can’t keep that now.\n
      \n
      Sarah was quiet for a while but then started calling me. I ignored a lot of her calls but this morning I answered her call and told her about the breakup. I was looking for sympathy from my old friend. She was more interested in knowing if I was still going to watch her kid while she and Matt went on an overnight trip. She got pretty angry when I said no. I have blocked her now.\n
      \n
      I have lost my fiance, my best friend and my relationship with my nephew whom I adored, all in one go. But still, I am thankful for the comments that showed this wasn’t something I could fix and helped me rip off the bandaid and walk away from this mess.\n
      \n
      *Disclaimer*\n
      \n
      *This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
      \n
      Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/x02wg4/oop_learns_a_hard_lesson_about_herself/)
      """
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    -titleTs: "'hard':4 'learn':2 'lesson':5 'oop':1"
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]

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    +slug: "OOP-learns-a-hard-lesson-about-herself"
    +title: "OOP learns a hard lesson about herself"
    +url: null
    +body: """
      *This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
      \n
      *I am NOT OP. Original post by* [*u*](https://www.reddit.com/u/Yourgirlanonishere)*/thra_Impress6525* *in* [*r/relationship_advice*](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice)\n
      \n
      Mood spoiler:\n
      \n
      show spoilerSad, but hopeful for OOP\n
      \n
      \u{200B}\n
      \n
      [Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wv3rbh/my_26f_fiance_is_convinced_i_have_a_crush_on_my/)\n
      \n
      \u{200B}\n
      \n
      My best friend Sarah (26F) and her husband Matt (28M) have put me in a very difficult position with my fiance Jack (30M). I knew Matt since my childhood, he was my neighbor and we were friendly. Sarah and I were roommates in college and became close friends.\n
      \n
      When I introduced Sarah and Matt, they hit it off and started dating each other. I was happy to see two of my friends get together but also annoyed that I became the third wheel and was often ignored or set aside because they were so into each other. By the time I graduated, Matt had completely dropped me as a friend. That saddened me but I was still good friends with Sarah so it was what it was. Sarah and I would frequently hang out, but I never talked with Matt other than the occasional polite hellos. Sarah would sometimes try to do couples dates with her and Matt and me and my dates. I found that Matt had developed an unpleasant personality and would frequently be rude and condescending towards me. However, he’s a very devoted and loving husband to Sarah so for her sake I ignored him.\n
      \n
      When my fiance and I got engaged, we had no plans to do a party. Sarah was disappointed that we didn’t throw an engagement party so she organized a small get-together at her home to celebrate us. The party was nice and as things were winding down, my fiance and I went to thank Sarah and Matt for their sweet gesture before we took our leave. Matt was pretty tipsy by then and out of nowhere he suddenly hugged me and in front of my fiance said that he was so glad that I was finally settling down and he is relieved that now I’ll be over the crush I had on him. I was shocked and told him that wasn’t true. He just laughed and told Jack that I was always chasing him and he had to work hard to keep me away. I dragged Sarah in and asked her to please fix this mess and she was all like oh he’s drunk ignore him and says, you know I always trust you, I know you wouldn’t act on your crush.\n
      \n
      Jack was pretty pissed by this point and he walked out. I ran after him and tried explaining that this isn’t true but he told me he doesn’t want to be anyone’s second choice or their backup plan. Since that night he isn’t talking to me or returning my calls.\n
      \n
      I have talked to Sarah multiple times to clear things with Jack but she’s brushing me off. I don’t understand why they believe this or why she’d stay friends with me if she thought I was into her husband. I was in her wedding party and did all the work because her sister who was the MOH was too busy. I have helped her through her pregnancy and have babysat her kid so many times. She never gave me any indication she thought this and why would she want me close to her family if she believed this? I feel humiliated that these people think I was pining away for a jerk like Matt.\n
      \n
      I need help in convincing Jack this isn’t true. I am also mad at him for throwing away our relationship over what some drunken idiot said. I don’t know what I am going to do about my friendship with Sarah.\n
      \n
      **Update:**\n
      \n
      I talked to Sarah again and asked her first of all why she’d think I had a crush on Matt. She said that when I first introduced them I had talked up Matt and gushed about him and she took that as me being into him. I said I was fond of him since I’ve known him for a long time but that doesn’t mean I want to be with him. She said when they started dating I was often upset about it. I said I wasn’t upset about their dating, I was upset that she’d make plans with me and then leave me to be with him and when we were all together I didn’t enjoy being the third wheel while they ignored me. That had nothing to do with wanting him and more to not liking being left out by my best friend. I asked her why she hadn’t said anything before and she explained that she could “manage” the situation. She had asked Matt to stop talking to me completely and she engineered situations so there was little chance of us socializing with each other.\n
      \n
      I asked her now that I have explained that I never had a crush on Matt, can you please talk to Jack and tell him. She said she didn’t want to lie. This frustrated me immensely. She could ignore this imaginary crush for years and manipulate me, but won’t talk to my fiance to help my relationship. I told her I was done being her friend. Thinking back I was always doing stuff for her and she used me but did little for me.\n
      \n
      \u{200B}\n
      \n
      [Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wz6ubd/update_my_26f_fiance_is_convinced_i_have_a_crush/) (posted yesterday):\n
      \n
      Tl;dr: Jack and I broke up.\n
      \n
      I wrote a long letter to Jack explaining the entire history of my relationship with Sarah and Matt with the recent screencaps. I asserted as best as I could that I had never pined after any guy and I loved him and he was my only choice.\n
      \n
      After days of silence, Jack agreed to talk to me. We met and he said that he sees two ways of interpreting this situation. One, Matt and Sarah are right and he doesn’t want to be my second choice. Two, they are malicious people who are messing with me and that shows very poor judgment on my part that I’d have a best friend like this and he doesn’t want that quality in a life partner. Either possibility leads to the same conclusion that he wants to call off the engagement.\n
      \n
      He reminded me that I had represented Sarah as one of the most important people in my life. I’d jump up and help her all the time. I had once canceled plans with him to take care of her kid when the baby was sick. It had irked him but he had seen it as me being caring and nice, but now he’s seeing all that in a different light.\n
      \n
      I cried and begged him not to end our engagement, but he wanted a break for a while. I thought over what he said for a few days and came to realize that he was right. I was a clingy friend and a doormat. I never even saw how much one sided my friendship with Sarah was. I was a doormat with Jack too. I didn’t want to get married or have kids this early but agreed to his timelines. I gave up an exciting job opportunity with more money because he didn’t want me traveling for work. I love him but I need to fix myself and be stronger.\n
      \n
      I gave back his ring and ended things. I returned all the gifts he gave too. He was offended by that, but I didn’t feel good about keeping the very expensive things he had given me. He makes a lot more than me and was very generous with what he gave me, but I can’t keep that now.\n
      \n
      Sarah was quiet for a while but then started calling me. I ignored a lot of her calls but this morning I answered her call and told her about the breakup. I was looking for sympathy from my old friend. She was more interested in knowing if I was still going to watch her kid while she and Matt went on an overnight trip. She got pretty angry when I said no. I have blocked her now.\n
      \n
      I have lost my fiance, my best friend and my relationship with my nephew whom I adored, all in one go. But still, I am thankful for the comments that showed this wasn’t something I could fix and helped me rip off the bandaid and walk away from this mess.\n
      \n
      *Disclaimer*\n
      \n
      *This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
      \n
      Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/x02wg4/oop_learns_a_hard_lesson_about_herself/)
      """
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    -oAuth2UserConsents: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1894 …}
    +apId: "lewosadebu@lemmy.world"
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    +apDiscoverable: true
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    +privateKey: null
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    +apFetchedAt: DateTime @1694502634 {#269
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    +apDeletedAt: null
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    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1689319753 {#268
      date: 2023-07-14 09:29:13.0 +02:00
    }
  }
  "showAvatar" => false
]

App\Twig\Components\UserInlineComponent {#2768
  +user: App\Entity\User {#265
    +avatar: null
    +cover: null
    +email: "lewosadebu@lemmy.world"
    +username: "@lewosadebu@lemmy.world"
    +roles: []
    +followersCount: 0
    +homepage: "front"
    +about: null
    +lastActive: DateTime @1694502634 {#275
      date: 2023-09-12 09:10:34.0 +02:00
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    +markedForDeletionAt: null
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    +addMentionsPosts: true
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    +spamProtection: true
    +customCss: null
    +ignoreMagazinesCustomCss: false
    +moderatorTokens: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#253 …}
    +magazineOwnershipRequests: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#249 …}
    +moderatorRequests: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#238 …}
    +entries: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#196 …}
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    -oAuth2UserConsents: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1894 …}
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    +apDiscoverable: true
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    +apDeletedAt: null
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    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1689319753 {#268
      date: 2023-07-14 09:29:13.0 +02:00
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  +showAvatar: false
}

[
  "date" => DateTimeImmutable @1694502633 {#2385
    date: 2023-09-12 09:10:33.0 +02:00
  }
]

App\Twig\Components\DateComponent {#2835
  +date: DateTimeImmutable @1694502633 {#2385
    date: 2023-09-12 09:10:33.0 +02:00
  }
}

[
  "createdAt" => DateTimeImmutable @1694502633 {#2385
    date: 2023-09-12 09:10:33.0 +02:00
  }
  "editedAt" => null
]

App\Twig\Components\DateEditedComponent {#2899
  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1694502633 {#2385
    date: 2023-09-12 09:10:33.0 +02:00
  }
  +editedAt: null
}

[
  "magazine" => Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1617
    +icon: null
    +name: "bestupdates@lemmy.world"
    +title: "bestupdates"
    +description: """
      A place to share the best posts which have updates, shown together with original posts in a consolidated format. This is a place for reddit refugees who liked r/BestOfRedditorUpdates\n
      \n
      Note: Lemmy supports a max post body length of 10k characters
      """
    +rules: null
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    +lastActive: DateTime @1698071440 {#2510
      date: 2023-10-23 16:30:40.0 +02:00
    }
    +markedForDeletionAt: null
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    +moderators: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2513 …}
    +ownershipRequests: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2515 …}
    +moderatorRequests: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2517 …}
    +entries: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2519 …}
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    -id: 18
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    +apInboxUrl: "https://lemmy.world/inbox"
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    +apPreferredUsername: "bestupdates"
    +apDiscoverable: true
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    +apFetchedAt: DateTime @1723365374 {#2511
      date: 2024-08-11 10:36:14.0 +02:00
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    +apDeletedAt: null
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    +visibility: "visible             "
    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1687747743 {#2512
      date: 2023-06-26 04:49:03.0 +02:00
    }
    +__isInitialized__: true
     …2
  }
  "showAvatar" => false
]

App\Twig\Components\MagazineInlineComponent {#2964
  +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1617
    +icon: null
    +name: "bestupdates@lemmy.world"
    +title: "bestupdates"
    +description: """
      A place to share the best posts which have updates, shown together with original posts in a consolidated format. This is a place for reddit refugees who liked r/BestOfRedditorUpdates\n
      \n
      Note: Lemmy supports a max post body length of 10k characters
      """
    +rules: null
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    +isAdult: false
    +customCss: null
    +lastActive: DateTime @1698071440 {#2510
      date: 2023-10-23 16:30:40.0 +02:00
    }
    +markedForDeletionAt: null
    +tags: null
    +moderators: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2513 …}
    +ownershipRequests: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2515 …}
    +moderatorRequests: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2517 …}
    +entries: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2519 …}
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    +bans: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2529 …}
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    +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2550 …}
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    +awards: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2542 …}
    +categories: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2566 …}
    -id: 18
    +apId: "bestupdates@lemmy.world"
    +apProfileId: "https://lemmy.world/c/bestupdates"
    +apPublicUrl: "https://lemmy.world/c/bestupdates"
    +apFollowersUrl: "https://lemmy.world/c/bestupdates/followers"
    +apInboxUrl: "https://lemmy.world/inbox"
    +apDomain: "lemmy.world"
    +apPreferredUsername: "bestupdates"
    +apDiscoverable: true
    +apManuallyApprovesFollowers: null
    +privateKey: null
    +publicKey: null
    +apFetchedAt: DateTime @1723365374 {#2511
      date: 2024-08-11 10:36:14.0 +02:00
    }
    +apDeletedAt: null
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    +visibility: "visible             "
    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1687747743 {#2512
      date: 2023-06-26 04:49:03.0 +02:00
    }
    +__isInitialized__: true
     …2
  }
  +showTitle: true
  +fullName: false
  +stretchedLink: false
  +showAvatar: false
}

[
  "subject" => App\Entity\Entry {#2384
    +user: App\Entity\User {#265
      +avatar: null
      +cover: null
      +email: "lewosadebu@lemmy.world"
      +username: "@lewosadebu@lemmy.world"
      +roles: []
      +followersCount: 0
      +homepage: "front"
      +about: null
      +lastActive: DateTime @1694502634 {#275
        date: 2023-09-12 09:10:34.0 +02:00
      }
      +markedForDeletionAt: null
      +fields: null
      +oauthGithubId: null
      +oauthGoogleId: null
      +oauthFacebookId: null
      +oauthKeycloakId: null
      +hideAdult: true
      +showSubscribedUsers: true
      +showSubscribedMagazines: true
      +showSubscribedDomains: true
      +preferredLanguages: []
      +featuredMagazines: null
      +showProfileSubscriptions: true
      +showProfileFollowings: true
      +markNewComments: false
      +notifyOnNewEntry: false
      +notifyOnNewEntryReply: false
      +notifyOnNewEntryCommentReply: false
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      +notifyOnNewPostReply: false
      +notifyOnNewPostCommentReply: false
      +addMentionsEntries: false
      +addMentionsPosts: true
      +isBanned: false
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      +isDeleted: false
      +isBot: false
      +spamProtection: true
      +customCss: null
      +ignoreMagazinesCustomCss: false
      +moderatorTokens: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#253 …}
      +magazineOwnershipRequests: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#249 …}
      +moderatorRequests: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#238 …}
      +entries: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#196 …}
      +entryVotes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#168 …}
      +entryComments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#141 …}
      +entryCommentVotes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#111 …}
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      +postComments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1863 …}
      +postCommentVotes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1479 …}
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      +subscribedDomains: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1868 …}
      +follows: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1917 …}
      +followers: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1601 …}
      +blocks: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1805 …}
      +blockers: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1810 …}
      +blockedMagazines: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1857 …}
      +blockedDomains: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1860 …}
      +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1791 …}
      +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2416 …}
      +violations: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1824 …}
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      +awards: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1929 …}
      +subscribedCategories: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1867 …}
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      -id: 27100
      -password: "$2y$13$mU45LDGxJ9Vxszmx05XJ6e0IPFGeLY5lWrKUDETRblb7Dt/to2kpu"
      -totpSecret: null
      -totpBackupCodes: []
      -oAuth2UserConsents: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1894 …}
      +apId: "lewosadebu@lemmy.world"
      +apProfileId: "https://lemmy.world/u/lewosadebu"
      +apPublicUrl: "https://lemmy.world/u/lewosadebu"
      +apFollowersUrl: null
      +apInboxUrl: "https://lemmy.world/inbox"
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      +apPreferredUsername: "lewosadebu"
      +apDiscoverable: true
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      +privateKey: null
      +publicKey: null
      +apFetchedAt: DateTime @1694502634 {#269
        date: 2023-09-12 09:10:34.0 +02:00
      }
      +apDeletedAt: null
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      +visibility: "visible             "
      +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1689319753 {#268
        date: 2023-07-14 09:29:13.0 +02:00
      }
    }
    +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1617
      +icon: null
      +name: "bestupdates@lemmy.world"
      +title: "bestupdates"
      +description: """
        A place to share the best posts which have updates, shown together with original posts in a consolidated format. This is a place for reddit refugees who liked r/BestOfRedditorUpdates\n
        \n
        Note: Lemmy supports a max post body length of 10k characters
        """
      +rules: null
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      +entryCommentCount: 260
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      +postCommentCount: 0
      +isAdult: false
      +customCss: null
      +lastActive: DateTime @1698071440 {#2510
        date: 2023-10-23 16:30:40.0 +02:00
      }
      +markedForDeletionAt: null
      +tags: null
      +moderators: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2513 …}
      +ownershipRequests: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2515 …}
      +moderatorRequests: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2517 …}
      +entries: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2519 …}
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      +subscriptions: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2523 …}
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      +awards: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2542 …}
      +categories: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2566 …}
      -id: 18
      +apId: "bestupdates@lemmy.world"
      +apProfileId: "https://lemmy.world/c/bestupdates"
      +apPublicUrl: "https://lemmy.world/c/bestupdates"
      +apFollowersUrl: "https://lemmy.world/c/bestupdates/followers"
      +apInboxUrl: "https://lemmy.world/inbox"
      +apDomain: "lemmy.world"
      +apPreferredUsername: "bestupdates"
      +apDiscoverable: true
      +apManuallyApprovesFollowers: null
      +privateKey: null
      +publicKey: null
      +apFetchedAt: DateTime @1723365374 {#2511
        date: 2024-08-11 10:36:14.0 +02:00
      }
      +apDeletedAt: null
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      +visibility: "visible             "
      +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1687747743 {#2512
        date: 2023-06-26 04:49:03.0 +02:00
      }
      +__isInitialized__: true
       …2
    }
    +image: null
    +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#1596 …}
    +slug: "OOP-learns-a-hard-lesson-about-herself"
    +title: "OOP learns a hard lesson about herself"
    +url: null
    +body: """
      *This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
      \n
      *I am NOT OP. Original post by* [*u*](https://www.reddit.com/u/Yourgirlanonishere)*/thra_Impress6525* *in* [*r/relationship_advice*](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice)\n
      \n
      Mood spoiler:\n
      \n
      show spoilerSad, but hopeful for OOP\n
      \n
      \u{200B}\n
      \n
      [Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wv3rbh/my_26f_fiance_is_convinced_i_have_a_crush_on_my/)\n
      \n
      \u{200B}\n
      \n
      My best friend Sarah (26F) and her husband Matt (28M) have put me in a very difficult position with my fiance Jack (30M). I knew Matt since my childhood, he was my neighbor and we were friendly. Sarah and I were roommates in college and became close friends.\n
      \n
      When I introduced Sarah and Matt, they hit it off and started dating each other. I was happy to see two of my friends get together but also annoyed that I became the third wheel and was often ignored or set aside because they were so into each other. By the time I graduated, Matt had completely dropped me as a friend. That saddened me but I was still good friends with Sarah so it was what it was. Sarah and I would frequently hang out, but I never talked with Matt other than the occasional polite hellos. Sarah would sometimes try to do couples dates with her and Matt and me and my dates. I found that Matt had developed an unpleasant personality and would frequently be rude and condescending towards me. However, he’s a very devoted and loving husband to Sarah so for her sake I ignored him.\n
      \n
      When my fiance and I got engaged, we had no plans to do a party. Sarah was disappointed that we didn’t throw an engagement party so she organized a small get-together at her home to celebrate us. The party was nice and as things were winding down, my fiance and I went to thank Sarah and Matt for their sweet gesture before we took our leave. Matt was pretty tipsy by then and out of nowhere he suddenly hugged me and in front of my fiance said that he was so glad that I was finally settling down and he is relieved that now I’ll be over the crush I had on him. I was shocked and told him that wasn’t true. He just laughed and told Jack that I was always chasing him and he had to work hard to keep me away. I dragged Sarah in and asked her to please fix this mess and she was all like oh he’s drunk ignore him and says, you know I always trust you, I know you wouldn’t act on your crush.\n
      \n
      Jack was pretty pissed by this point and he walked out. I ran after him and tried explaining that this isn’t true but he told me he doesn’t want to be anyone’s second choice or their backup plan. Since that night he isn’t talking to me or returning my calls.\n
      \n
      I have talked to Sarah multiple times to clear things with Jack but she’s brushing me off. I don’t understand why they believe this or why she’d stay friends with me if she thought I was into her husband. I was in her wedding party and did all the work because her sister who was the MOH was too busy. I have helped her through her pregnancy and have babysat her kid so many times. She never gave me any indication she thought this and why would she want me close to her family if she believed this? I feel humiliated that these people think I was pining away for a jerk like Matt.\n
      \n
      I need help in convincing Jack this isn’t true. I am also mad at him for throwing away our relationship over what some drunken idiot said. I don’t know what I am going to do about my friendship with Sarah.\n
      \n
      **Update:**\n
      \n
      I talked to Sarah again and asked her first of all why she’d think I had a crush on Matt. She said that when I first introduced them I had talked up Matt and gushed about him and she took that as me being into him. I said I was fond of him since I’ve known him for a long time but that doesn’t mean I want to be with him. She said when they started dating I was often upset about it. I said I wasn’t upset about their dating, I was upset that she’d make plans with me and then leave me to be with him and when we were all together I didn’t enjoy being the third wheel while they ignored me. That had nothing to do with wanting him and more to not liking being left out by my best friend. I asked her why she hadn’t said anything before and she explained that she could “manage” the situation. She had asked Matt to stop talking to me completely and she engineered situations so there was little chance of us socializing with each other.\n
      \n
      I asked her now that I have explained that I never had a crush on Matt, can you please talk to Jack and tell him. She said she didn’t want to lie. This frustrated me immensely. She could ignore this imaginary crush for years and manipulate me, but won’t talk to my fiance to help my relationship. I told her I was done being her friend. Thinking back I was always doing stuff for her and she used me but did little for me.\n
      \n
      \u{200B}\n
      \n
      [Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wz6ubd/update_my_26f_fiance_is_convinced_i_have_a_crush/) (posted yesterday):\n
      \n
      Tl;dr: Jack and I broke up.\n
      \n
      I wrote a long letter to Jack explaining the entire history of my relationship with Sarah and Matt with the recent screencaps. I asserted as best as I could that I had never pined after any guy and I loved him and he was my only choice.\n
      \n
      After days of silence, Jack agreed to talk to me. We met and he said that he sees two ways of interpreting this situation. One, Matt and Sarah are right and he doesn’t want to be my second choice. Two, they are malicious people who are messing with me and that shows very poor judgment on my part that I’d have a best friend like this and he doesn’t want that quality in a life partner. Either possibility leads to the same conclusion that he wants to call off the engagement.\n
      \n
      He reminded me that I had represented Sarah as one of the most important people in my life. I’d jump up and help her all the time. I had once canceled plans with him to take care of her kid when the baby was sick. It had irked him but he had seen it as me being caring and nice, but now he’s seeing all that in a different light.\n
      \n
      I cried and begged him not to end our engagement, but he wanted a break for a while. I thought over what he said for a few days and came to realize that he was right. I was a clingy friend and a doormat. I never even saw how much one sided my friendship with Sarah was. I was a doormat with Jack too. I didn’t want to get married or have kids this early but agreed to his timelines. I gave up an exciting job opportunity with more money because he didn’t want me traveling for work. I love him but I need to fix myself and be stronger.\n
      \n
      I gave back his ring and ended things. I returned all the gifts he gave too. He was offended by that, but I didn’t feel good about keeping the very expensive things he had given me. He makes a lot more than me and was very generous with what he gave me, but I can’t keep that now.\n
      \n
      Sarah was quiet for a while but then started calling me. I ignored a lot of her calls but this morning I answered her call and told her about the breakup. I was looking for sympathy from my old friend. She was more interested in knowing if I was still going to watch her kid while she and Matt went on an overnight trip. She got pretty angry when I said no. I have blocked her now.\n
      \n
      I have lost my fiance, my best friend and my relationship with my nephew whom I adored, all in one go. But still, I am thankful for the comments that showed this wasn’t something I could fix and helped me rip off the bandaid and walk away from this mess.\n
      \n
      *Disclaimer*\n
      \n
      *This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
      \n
      Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/x02wg4/oop_learns_a_hard_lesson_about_herself/)
      """
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    +slug: "OOP-learns-a-hard-lesson-about-herself"
    +title: "OOP learns a hard lesson about herself"
    +url: null
    +body: """
      *This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
      \n
      *I am NOT OP. Original post by* [*u*](https://www.reddit.com/u/Yourgirlanonishere)*/thra_Impress6525* *in* [*r/relationship_advice*](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice)\n
      \n
      Mood spoiler:\n
      \n
      show spoilerSad, but hopeful for OOP\n
      \n
      \u{200B}\n
      \n
      [Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wv3rbh/my_26f_fiance_is_convinced_i_have_a_crush_on_my/)\n
      \n
      \u{200B}\n
      \n
      My best friend Sarah (26F) and her husband Matt (28M) have put me in a very difficult position with my fiance Jack (30M). I knew Matt since my childhood, he was my neighbor and we were friendly. Sarah and I were roommates in college and became close friends.\n
      \n
      When I introduced Sarah and Matt, they hit it off and started dating each other. I was happy to see two of my friends get together but also annoyed that I became the third wheel and was often ignored or set aside because they were so into each other. By the time I graduated, Matt had completely dropped me as a friend. That saddened me but I was still good friends with Sarah so it was what it was. Sarah and I would frequently hang out, but I never talked with Matt other than the occasional polite hellos. Sarah would sometimes try to do couples dates with her and Matt and me and my dates. I found that Matt had developed an unpleasant personality and would frequently be rude and condescending towards me. However, he’s a very devoted and loving husband to Sarah so for her sake I ignored him.\n
      \n
      When my fiance and I got engaged, we had no plans to do a party. Sarah was disappointed that we didn’t throw an engagement party so she organized a small get-together at her home to celebrate us. The party was nice and as things were winding down, my fiance and I went to thank Sarah and Matt for their sweet gesture before we took our leave. Matt was pretty tipsy by then and out of nowhere he suddenly hugged me and in front of my fiance said that he was so glad that I was finally settling down and he is relieved that now I’ll be over the crush I had on him. I was shocked and told him that wasn’t true. He just laughed and told Jack that I was always chasing him and he had to work hard to keep me away. I dragged Sarah in and asked her to please fix this mess and she was all like oh he’s drunk ignore him and says, you know I always trust you, I know you wouldn’t act on your crush.\n
      \n
      Jack was pretty pissed by this point and he walked out. I ran after him and tried explaining that this isn’t true but he told me he doesn’t want to be anyone’s second choice or their backup plan. Since that night he isn’t talking to me or returning my calls.\n
      \n
      I have talked to Sarah multiple times to clear things with Jack but she’s brushing me off. I don’t understand why they believe this or why she’d stay friends with me if she thought I was into her husband. I was in her wedding party and did all the work because her sister who was the MOH was too busy. I have helped her through her pregnancy and have babysat her kid so many times. She never gave me any indication she thought this and why would she want me close to her family if she believed this? I feel humiliated that these people think I was pining away for a jerk like Matt.\n
      \n
      I need help in convincing Jack this isn’t true. I am also mad at him for throwing away our relationship over what some drunken idiot said. I don’t know what I am going to do about my friendship with Sarah.\n
      \n
      **Update:**\n
      \n
      I talked to Sarah again and asked her first of all why she’d think I had a crush on Matt. She said that when I first introduced them I had talked up Matt and gushed about him and she took that as me being into him. I said I was fond of him since I’ve known him for a long time but that doesn’t mean I want to be with him. She said when they started dating I was often upset about it. I said I wasn’t upset about their dating, I was upset that she’d make plans with me and then leave me to be with him and when we were all together I didn’t enjoy being the third wheel while they ignored me. That had nothing to do with wanting him and more to not liking being left out by my best friend. I asked her why she hadn’t said anything before and she explained that she could “manage” the situation. She had asked Matt to stop talking to me completely and she engineered situations so there was little chance of us socializing with each other.\n
      \n
      I asked her now that I have explained that I never had a crush on Matt, can you please talk to Jack and tell him. She said she didn’t want to lie. This frustrated me immensely. She could ignore this imaginary crush for years and manipulate me, but won’t talk to my fiance to help my relationship. I told her I was done being her friend. Thinking back I was always doing stuff for her and she used me but did little for me.\n
      \n
      \u{200B}\n
      \n
      [Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wz6ubd/update_my_26f_fiance_is_convinced_i_have_a_crush/) (posted yesterday):\n
      \n
      Tl;dr: Jack and I broke up.\n
      \n
      I wrote a long letter to Jack explaining the entire history of my relationship with Sarah and Matt with the recent screencaps. I asserted as best as I could that I had never pined after any guy and I loved him and he was my only choice.\n
      \n
      After days of silence, Jack agreed to talk to me. We met and he said that he sees two ways of interpreting this situation. One, Matt and Sarah are right and he doesn’t want to be my second choice. Two, they are malicious people who are messing with me and that shows very poor judgment on my part that I’d have a best friend like this and he doesn’t want that quality in a life partner. Either possibility leads to the same conclusion that he wants to call off the engagement.\n
      \n
      He reminded me that I had represented Sarah as one of the most important people in my life. I’d jump up and help her all the time. I had once canceled plans with him to take care of her kid when the baby was sick. It had irked him but he had seen it as me being caring and nice, but now he’s seeing all that in a different light.\n
      \n
      I cried and begged him not to end our engagement, but he wanted a break for a while. I thought over what he said for a few days and came to realize that he was right. I was a clingy friend and a doormat. I never even saw how much one sided my friendship with Sarah was. I was a doormat with Jack too. I didn’t want to get married or have kids this early but agreed to his timelines. I gave up an exciting job opportunity with more money because he didn’t want me traveling for work. I love him but I need to fix myself and be stronger.\n
      \n
      I gave back his ring and ended things. I returned all the gifts he gave too. He was offended by that, but I didn’t feel good about keeping the very expensive things he had given me. He makes a lot more than me and was very generous with what he gave me, but I can’t keep that now.\n
      \n
      Sarah was quiet for a while but then started calling me. I ignored a lot of her calls but this morning I answered her call and told her about the breakup. I was looking for sympathy from my old friend. She was more interested in knowing if I was still going to watch her kid while she and Matt went on an overnight trip. She got pretty angry when I said no. I have blocked her now.\n
      \n
      I have lost my fiance, my best friend and my relationship with my nephew whom I adored, all in one go. But still, I am thankful for the comments that showed this wasn’t something I could fix and helped me rip off the bandaid and walk away from this mess.\n
      \n
      *Disclaimer*\n
      \n
      *This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
      \n
      Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/x02wg4/oop_learns_a_hard_lesson_about_herself/)
      """
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    +slug: "OOP-learns-a-hard-lesson-about-herself"
    +title: "OOP learns a hard lesson about herself"
    +url: null
    +body: """
      *This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
      \n
      *I am NOT OP. Original post by* [*u*](https://www.reddit.com/u/Yourgirlanonishere)*/thra_Impress6525* *in* [*r/relationship_advice*](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice)\n
      \n
      Mood spoiler:\n
      \n
      show spoilerSad, but hopeful for OOP\n
      \n
      \u{200B}\n
      \n
      [Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wv3rbh/my_26f_fiance_is_convinced_i_have_a_crush_on_my/)\n
      \n
      \u{200B}\n
      \n
      My best friend Sarah (26F) and her husband Matt (28M) have put me in a very difficult position with my fiance Jack (30M). I knew Matt since my childhood, he was my neighbor and we were friendly. Sarah and I were roommates in college and became close friends.\n
      \n
      When I introduced Sarah and Matt, they hit it off and started dating each other. I was happy to see two of my friends get together but also annoyed that I became the third wheel and was often ignored or set aside because they were so into each other. By the time I graduated, Matt had completely dropped me as a friend. That saddened me but I was still good friends with Sarah so it was what it was. Sarah and I would frequently hang out, but I never talked with Matt other than the occasional polite hellos. Sarah would sometimes try to do couples dates with her and Matt and me and my dates. I found that Matt had developed an unpleasant personality and would frequently be rude and condescending towards me. However, he’s a very devoted and loving husband to Sarah so for her sake I ignored him.\n
      \n
      When my fiance and I got engaged, we had no plans to do a party. Sarah was disappointed that we didn’t throw an engagement party so she organized a small get-together at her home to celebrate us. The party was nice and as things were winding down, my fiance and I went to thank Sarah and Matt for their sweet gesture before we took our leave. Matt was pretty tipsy by then and out of nowhere he suddenly hugged me and in front of my fiance said that he was so glad that I was finally settling down and he is relieved that now I’ll be over the crush I had on him. I was shocked and told him that wasn’t true. He just laughed and told Jack that I was always chasing him and he had to work hard to keep me away. I dragged Sarah in and asked her to please fix this mess and she was all like oh he’s drunk ignore him and says, you know I always trust you, I know you wouldn’t act on your crush.\n
      \n
      Jack was pretty pissed by this point and he walked out. I ran after him and tried explaining that this isn’t true but he told me he doesn’t want to be anyone’s second choice or their backup plan. Since that night he isn’t talking to me or returning my calls.\n
      \n
      I have talked to Sarah multiple times to clear things with Jack but she’s brushing me off. I don’t understand why they believe this or why she’d stay friends with me if she thought I was into her husband. I was in her wedding party and did all the work because her sister who was the MOH was too busy. I have helped her through her pregnancy and have babysat her kid so many times. She never gave me any indication she thought this and why would she want me close to her family if she believed this? I feel humiliated that these people think I was pining away for a jerk like Matt.\n
      \n
      I need help in convincing Jack this isn’t true. I am also mad at him for throwing away our relationship over what some drunken idiot said. I don’t know what I am going to do about my friendship with Sarah.\n
      \n
      **Update:**\n
      \n
      I talked to Sarah again and asked her first of all why she’d think I had a crush on Matt. She said that when I first introduced them I had talked up Matt and gushed about him and she took that as me being into him. I said I was fond of him since I’ve known him for a long time but that doesn’t mean I want to be with him. She said when they started dating I was often upset about it. I said I wasn’t upset about their dating, I was upset that she’d make plans with me and then leave me to be with him and when we were all together I didn’t enjoy being the third wheel while they ignored me. That had nothing to do with wanting him and more to not liking being left out by my best friend. I asked her why she hadn’t said anything before and she explained that she could “manage” the situation. She had asked Matt to stop talking to me completely and she engineered situations so there was little chance of us socializing with each other.\n
      \n
      I asked her now that I have explained that I never had a crush on Matt, can you please talk to Jack and tell him. She said she didn’t want to lie. This frustrated me immensely. She could ignore this imaginary crush for years and manipulate me, but won’t talk to my fiance to help my relationship. I told her I was done being her friend. Thinking back I was always doing stuff for her and she used me but did little for me.\n
      \n
      \u{200B}\n
      \n
      [Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wz6ubd/update_my_26f_fiance_is_convinced_i_have_a_crush/) (posted yesterday):\n
      \n
      Tl;dr: Jack and I broke up.\n
      \n
      I wrote a long letter to Jack explaining the entire history of my relationship with Sarah and Matt with the recent screencaps. I asserted as best as I could that I had never pined after any guy and I loved him and he was my only choice.\n
      \n
      After days of silence, Jack agreed to talk to me. We met and he said that he sees two ways of interpreting this situation. One, Matt and Sarah are right and he doesn’t want to be my second choice. Two, they are malicious people who are messing with me and that shows very poor judgment on my part that I’d have a best friend like this and he doesn’t want that quality in a life partner. Either possibility leads to the same conclusion that he wants to call off the engagement.\n
      \n
      He reminded me that I had represented Sarah as one of the most important people in my life. I’d jump up and help her all the time. I had once canceled plans with him to take care of her kid when the baby was sick. It had irked him but he had seen it as me being caring and nice, but now he’s seeing all that in a different light.\n
      \n
      I cried and begged him not to end our engagement, but he wanted a break for a while. I thought over what he said for a few days and came to realize that he was right. I was a clingy friend and a doormat. I never even saw how much one sided my friendship with Sarah was. I was a doormat with Jack too. I didn’t want to get married or have kids this early but agreed to his timelines. I gave up an exciting job opportunity with more money because he didn’t want me traveling for work. I love him but I need to fix myself and be stronger.\n
      \n
      I gave back his ring and ended things. I returned all the gifts he gave too. He was offended by that, but I didn’t feel good about keeping the very expensive things he had given me. He makes a lot more than me and was very generous with what he gave me, but I can’t keep that now.\n
      \n
      Sarah was quiet for a while but then started calling me. I ignored a lot of her calls but this morning I answered her call and told her about the breakup. I was looking for sympathy from my old friend. She was more interested in knowing if I was still going to watch her kid while she and Matt went on an overnight trip. She got pretty angry when I said no. I have blocked her now.\n
      \n
      I have lost my fiance, my best friend and my relationship with my nephew whom I adored, all in one go. But still, I am thankful for the comments that showed this wasn’t something I could fix and helped me rip off the bandaid and walk away from this mess.\n
      \n
      *Disclaimer*\n
      \n
      *This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
      \n
      Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/x02wg4/oop_learns_a_hard_lesson_about_herself/)
      """
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    +slug: "OOP-learns-a-hard-lesson-about-herself"
    +title: "OOP learns a hard lesson about herself"
    +url: null
    +body: """
      *This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
      \n
      *I am NOT OP. Original post by* [*u*](https://www.reddit.com/u/Yourgirlanonishere)*/thra_Impress6525* *in* [*r/relationship_advice*](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice)\n
      \n
      Mood spoiler:\n
      \n
      show spoilerSad, but hopeful for OOP\n
      \n
      \u{200B}\n
      \n
      [Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wv3rbh/my_26f_fiance_is_convinced_i_have_a_crush_on_my/)\n
      \n
      \u{200B}\n
      \n
      My best friend Sarah (26F) and her husband Matt (28M) have put me in a very difficult position with my fiance Jack (30M). I knew Matt since my childhood, he was my neighbor and we were friendly. Sarah and I were roommates in college and became close friends.\n
      \n
      When I introduced Sarah and Matt, they hit it off and started dating each other. I was happy to see two of my friends get together but also annoyed that I became the third wheel and was often ignored or set aside because they were so into each other. By the time I graduated, Matt had completely dropped me as a friend. That saddened me but I was still good friends with Sarah so it was what it was. Sarah and I would frequently hang out, but I never talked with Matt other than the occasional polite hellos. Sarah would sometimes try to do couples dates with her and Matt and me and my dates. I found that Matt had developed an unpleasant personality and would frequently be rude and condescending towards me. However, he’s a very devoted and loving husband to Sarah so for her sake I ignored him.\n
      \n
      When my fiance and I got engaged, we had no plans to do a party. Sarah was disappointed that we didn’t throw an engagement party so she organized a small get-together at her home to celebrate us. The party was nice and as things were winding down, my fiance and I went to thank Sarah and Matt for their sweet gesture before we took our leave. Matt was pretty tipsy by then and out of nowhere he suddenly hugged me and in front of my fiance said that he was so glad that I was finally settling down and he is relieved that now I’ll be over the crush I had on him. I was shocked and told him that wasn’t true. He just laughed and told Jack that I was always chasing him and he had to work hard to keep me away. I dragged Sarah in and asked her to please fix this mess and she was all like oh he’s drunk ignore him and says, you know I always trust you, I know you wouldn’t act on your crush.\n
      \n
      Jack was pretty pissed by this point and he walked out. I ran after him and tried explaining that this isn’t true but he told me he doesn’t want to be anyone’s second choice or their backup plan. Since that night he isn’t talking to me or returning my calls.\n
      \n
      I have talked to Sarah multiple times to clear things with Jack but she’s brushing me off. I don’t understand why they believe this or why she’d stay friends with me if she thought I was into her husband. I was in her wedding party and did all the work because her sister who was the MOH was too busy. I have helped her through her pregnancy and have babysat her kid so many times. She never gave me any indication she thought this and why would she want me close to her family if she believed this? I feel humiliated that these people think I was pining away for a jerk like Matt.\n
      \n
      I need help in convincing Jack this isn’t true. I am also mad at him for throwing away our relationship over what some drunken idiot said. I don’t know what I am going to do about my friendship with Sarah.\n
      \n
      **Update:**\n
      \n
      I talked to Sarah again and asked her first of all why she’d think I had a crush on Matt. She said that when I first introduced them I had talked up Matt and gushed about him and she took that as me being into him. I said I was fond of him since I’ve known him for a long time but that doesn’t mean I want to be with him. She said when they started dating I was often upset about it. I said I wasn’t upset about their dating, I was upset that she’d make plans with me and then leave me to be with him and when we were all together I didn’t enjoy being the third wheel while they ignored me. That had nothing to do with wanting him and more to not liking being left out by my best friend. I asked her why she hadn’t said anything before and she explained that she could “manage” the situation. She had asked Matt to stop talking to me completely and she engineered situations so there was little chance of us socializing with each other.\n
      \n
      I asked her now that I have explained that I never had a crush on Matt, can you please talk to Jack and tell him. She said she didn’t want to lie. This frustrated me immensely. She could ignore this imaginary crush for years and manipulate me, but won’t talk to my fiance to help my relationship. I told her I was done being her friend. Thinking back I was always doing stuff for her and she used me but did little for me.\n
      \n
      \u{200B}\n
      \n
      [Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wz6ubd/update_my_26f_fiance_is_convinced_i_have_a_crush/) (posted yesterday):\n
      \n
      Tl;dr: Jack and I broke up.\n
      \n
      I wrote a long letter to Jack explaining the entire history of my relationship with Sarah and Matt with the recent screencaps. I asserted as best as I could that I had never pined after any guy and I loved him and he was my only choice.\n
      \n
      After days of silence, Jack agreed to talk to me. We met and he said that he sees two ways of interpreting this situation. One, Matt and Sarah are right and he doesn’t want to be my second choice. Two, they are malicious people who are messing with me and that shows very poor judgment on my part that I’d have a best friend like this and he doesn’t want that quality in a life partner. Either possibility leads to the same conclusion that he wants to call off the engagement.\n
      \n
      He reminded me that I had represented Sarah as one of the most important people in my life. I’d jump up and help her all the time. I had once canceled plans with him to take care of her kid when the baby was sick. It had irked him but he had seen it as me being caring and nice, but now he’s seeing all that in a different light.\n
      \n
      I cried and begged him not to end our engagement, but he wanted a break for a while. I thought over what he said for a few days and came to realize that he was right. I was a clingy friend and a doormat. I never even saw how much one sided my friendship with Sarah was. I was a doormat with Jack too. I didn’t want to get married or have kids this early but agreed to his timelines. I gave up an exciting job opportunity with more money because he didn’t want me traveling for work. I love him but I need to fix myself and be stronger.\n
      \n
      I gave back his ring and ended things. I returned all the gifts he gave too. He was offended by that, but I didn’t feel good about keeping the very expensive things he had given me. He makes a lot more than me and was very generous with what he gave me, but I can’t keep that now.\n
      \n
      Sarah was quiet for a while but then started calling me. I ignored a lot of her calls but this morning I answered her call and told her about the breakup. I was looking for sympathy from my old friend. She was more interested in knowing if I was still going to watch her kid while she and Matt went on an overnight trip. She got pretty angry when I said no. I have blocked her now.\n
      \n
      I have lost my fiance, my best friend and my relationship with my nephew whom I adored, all in one go. But still, I am thankful for the comments that showed this wasn’t something I could fix and helped me rip off the bandaid and walk away from this mess.\n
      \n
      *Disclaimer*\n
      \n
      *This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
      \n
      Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/x02wg4/oop_learns_a_hard_lesson_about_herself/)
      """
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    +slug: "I-m-considering-leaving-my-wife-because-of-her-weight"
    +title: "I’m considering leaving my wife because of her weight"
    +url: null
    +body: """
      *This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
      \n
      **I am NOT OP. Original post by [u/throwra_overweight](/u/throwra_overweight) in [r/relationship_advice](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice)**\n
      \n
      trigger warning:\n
      \n
      show spoilerppd\n
      \n
      mood spoiler:\n
      \n
      show spoilerhappy ending\n
      \n
      ---\n
      \n
      [**I’m (32M) considering leaving my wife (30F) because of her weight**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/nug9bw/im_32m_considering_leaving_my_wife_30f_because_of/) - 7 June 2021\n
      \n
      Alright before I get called an asshole let me explain. I love my wife, I think she’s incredibly beautiful and even more so after she gave birth to our son 3 years ago.\n
      \n
      The problem is that she put on a good amount of baby weight (Obviously) and never lost it. She instead started to gain more weight and was overall pretty depressed. I initially assumed it was PPD and suggested she go to therapy for it. She went to therapy and got some anti-depressants, it took her a while find the right ones, and she’s been fine mentally since she found them.\n
      \n
      Physically is a different story however. She has continued over the past 3 years to gain weight. The problem isn’t anymore that i’m not attracted to her, But she will die if she continues to gain weight. She is currently 5’2 about 260 pounds with a BMI close to 50\n
      \n
      I don’t know what I can do, I feel like i’ve tried everything. I’ve asked her to go to the gym with me, go on a diet with me, Not buy fast food, have some active hobbies. She’s turned down every single one of these ideas.\n
      \n
      I feel like I don’t have any choice but to give her an ultimatum. Either she genuinely tries to lose the weight or I leave. I can’t watch the women I love and mother of my child slowly kill herself . I don’t want to be the dude who gives an ultimatum, but I see no other choice. I guess I just wanted to ask if i’m being an asshole or if theres any other way I could go about this.\n
      \n
      **Edit:**\n
      \n
      For everyone in the comments telling me you can be overweight and healthy, your right. But No, you can not be Obese and healthy, at least not long term. Heart disease runs in my wife’s family and while your weight might not effect you, being overweight is directly linked to heart disease. I understand weight loss isn’t easy, I used to be overweight, but my concern isn’t that’s she not the same way she looked when we got together, It’s that she may not live to see our son become a teenager.\n
      \n
      [**Update: I’m (32M) considering leaving my wife (31F) because of her weight**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/qh3lev/update_im_32m_considering_leaving_my_wife_31f/) - 27 October 2021\n
      \n
      So I made a post about 5 months ago because I was getting pass the point of no return with my wife’s weight. Now Expectedly I got called an asshole and a dickhead and every other name under the book for evening mentioning it. But I also got some real good feedback and decided before I made any real decision I would sit her down and let her know how I was truly feeling. Because at that point we had, had multiple conversations addressing it but none of them lead anywhere.\n
      \n
      So after we put my son to sleep I asked my wife If we could talk for a moment in the kitchen. Now i’m not gonna lie the conversation was probably the hardest one i’ve ever had. Because despite what everyone believed I do love my wife. Now I don’t want to get into every detail but the basis of the conversation was that I needed her to at least try and be healthier. I also think she needed to hear how serious I was about this and when I told her I was even thinking about separating I think it really put the nail in the coffin.\n
      \n
      It’s been about 5 months since then and i’m proud to say my wife has lost 35 fucking lbs. I am so proud of her it’s fucking ridiculous. The first month was a fucking hurdle and a half but now she’s going steady and losing weight at a healthy moderate rate. Recently she even started to exercise with me. In the morning I usually jog, but since her knees are somewhat shot 3 days a week we go walk a mile or two, together and either talk or just listen to music together. I know it sounds corny to say but she even seems happier and her confidence is coming back as well.\n
      \n
      Well this was my little update and I wanted to finish it with thanking anyone who actually gave me advice on my first post.\n
      \n
      **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**\n
      \n
      *Disclaimer*\n
      \n
      *This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
      \n
      Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ykdvb5/im_considering_leaving_my_wife_because_of_her/)
      """
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    +slug: "I-m-considering-leaving-my-wife-because-of-her-weight"
    +title: "I’m considering leaving my wife because of her weight"
    +url: null
    +body: """
      *This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
      \n
      **I am NOT OP. Original post by [u/throwra_overweight](/u/throwra_overweight) in [r/relationship_advice](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice)**\n
      \n
      trigger warning:\n
      \n
      show spoilerppd\n
      \n
      mood spoiler:\n
      \n
      show spoilerhappy ending\n
      \n
      ---\n
      \n
      [**I’m (32M) considering leaving my wife (30F) because of her weight**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/nug9bw/im_32m_considering_leaving_my_wife_30f_because_of/) - 7 June 2021\n
      \n
      Alright before I get called an asshole let me explain. I love my wife, I think she’s incredibly beautiful and even more so after she gave birth to our son 3 years ago.\n
      \n
      The problem is that she put on a good amount of baby weight (Obviously) and never lost it. She instead started to gain more weight and was overall pretty depressed. I initially assumed it was PPD and suggested she go to therapy for it. She went to therapy and got some anti-depressants, it took her a while find the right ones, and she’s been fine mentally since she found them.\n
      \n
      Physically is a different story however. She has continued over the past 3 years to gain weight. The problem isn’t anymore that i’m not attracted to her, But she will die if she continues to gain weight. She is currently 5’2 about 260 pounds with a BMI close to 50\n
      \n
      I don’t know what I can do, I feel like i’ve tried everything. I’ve asked her to go to the gym with me, go on a diet with me, Not buy fast food, have some active hobbies. She’s turned down every single one of these ideas.\n
      \n
      I feel like I don’t have any choice but to give her an ultimatum. Either she genuinely tries to lose the weight or I leave. I can’t watch the women I love and mother of my child slowly kill herself . I don’t want to be the dude who gives an ultimatum, but I see no other choice. I guess I just wanted to ask if i’m being an asshole or if theres any other way I could go about this.\n
      \n
      **Edit:**\n
      \n
      For everyone in the comments telling me you can be overweight and healthy, your right. But No, you can not be Obese and healthy, at least not long term. Heart disease runs in my wife’s family and while your weight might not effect you, being overweight is directly linked to heart disease. I understand weight loss isn’t easy, I used to be overweight, but my concern isn’t that’s she not the same way she looked when we got together, It’s that she may not live to see our son become a teenager.\n
      \n
      [**Update: I’m (32M) considering leaving my wife (31F) because of her weight**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/qh3lev/update_im_32m_considering_leaving_my_wife_31f/) - 27 October 2021\n
      \n
      So I made a post about 5 months ago because I was getting pass the point of no return with my wife’s weight. Now Expectedly I got called an asshole and a dickhead and every other name under the book for evening mentioning it. But I also got some real good feedback and decided before I made any real decision I would sit her down and let her know how I was truly feeling. Because at that point we had, had multiple conversations addressing it but none of them lead anywhere.\n
      \n
      So after we put my son to sleep I asked my wife If we could talk for a moment in the kitchen. Now i’m not gonna lie the conversation was probably the hardest one i’ve ever had. Because despite what everyone believed I do love my wife. Now I don’t want to get into every detail but the basis of the conversation was that I needed her to at least try and be healthier. I also think she needed to hear how serious I was about this and when I told her I was even thinking about separating I think it really put the nail in the coffin.\n
      \n
      It’s been about 5 months since then and i’m proud to say my wife has lost 35 fucking lbs. I am so proud of her it’s fucking ridiculous. The first month was a fucking hurdle and a half but now she’s going steady and losing weight at a healthy moderate rate. Recently she even started to exercise with me. In the morning I usually jog, but since her knees are somewhat shot 3 days a week we go walk a mile or two, together and either talk or just listen to music together. I know it sounds corny to say but she even seems happier and her confidence is coming back as well.\n
      \n
      Well this was my little update and I wanted to finish it with thanking anyone who actually gave me advice on my first post.\n
      \n
      **Reminder - I am not the original poster.**\n
      \n
      *Disclaimer*\n
      \n
      *This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
      \n
      Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ykdvb5/im_considering_leaving_my_wife_because_of_her/)
      """
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  +canSeeTrash: false
  +newComments: 0
}

[
  "user" => App\Entity\User {#265
    +avatar: null
    +cover: null
    +email: "lewosadebu@lemmy.world"
    +username: "@lewosadebu@lemmy.world"
    +roles: []
    +followersCount: 0
    +homepage: "front"
    +about: null
    +lastActive: DateTime @1694502634 {#275
      date: 2023-09-12 09:10:34.0 +02:00
    }
    +markedForDeletionAt: null
    +fields: null
    +oauthGithubId: null
    +oauthGoogleId: null
    +oauthFacebookId: null
    +oauthKeycloakId: null
    +hideAdult: true
    +showSubscribedUsers: true
    +showSubscribedMagazines: true
    +showSubscribedDomains: true
    +preferredLanguages: []
    +featuredMagazines: null
    +showProfileSubscriptions: true
    +showProfileFollowings: true
    +markNewComments: false
    +notifyOnNewEntry: false
    +notifyOnNewEntryReply: false
    +notifyOnNewEntryCommentReply: false
    +notifyOnNewPost: false
    +notifyOnNewPostReply: false
    +notifyOnNewPostCommentReply: false
    +addMentionsEntries: false
    +addMentionsPosts: true
    +isBanned: false
    +isVerified: false
    +isDeleted: false
    +isBot: false
    +spamProtection: true
    +customCss: null
    +ignoreMagazinesCustomCss: false
    +moderatorTokens: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#253 …}
    +magazineOwnershipRequests: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#249 …}
    +moderatorRequests: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#238 …}
    +entries: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#196 …}
    +entryVotes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#168 …}
    +entryComments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#141 …}
    +entryCommentVotes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#111 …}
    +posts: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#84 …}
    +postVotes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#99 …}
    +postComments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1863 …}
    +postCommentVotes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1479 …}
    +subscriptions: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1658 …}
    +subscribedDomains: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1868 …}
    +follows: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1917 …}
    +followers: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1601 …}
    +blocks: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1805 …}
    +blockers: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1810 …}
    +blockedMagazines: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1857 …}
    +blockedDomains: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1860 …}
    +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1791 …}
    +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2416 …}
    +violations: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1824 …}
    +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1914 …}
    +awards: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1929 …}
    +subscribedCategories: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1867 …}
    +categories: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1880 …}
    -id: 27100
    -password: "$2y$13$mU45LDGxJ9Vxszmx05XJ6e0IPFGeLY5lWrKUDETRblb7Dt/to2kpu"
    -totpSecret: null
    -totpBackupCodes: []
    -oAuth2UserConsents: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1894 …}
    +apId: "lewosadebu@lemmy.world"
    +apProfileId: "https://lemmy.world/u/lewosadebu"
    +apPublicUrl: "https://lemmy.world/u/lewosadebu"
    +apFollowersUrl: null
    +apInboxUrl: "https://lemmy.world/inbox"
    +apDomain: "lemmy.world"
    +apPreferredUsername: "lewosadebu"
    +apDiscoverable: true
    +apManuallyApprovesFollowers: false
    +privateKey: null
    +publicKey: null
    +apFetchedAt: DateTime @1694502634 {#269
      date: 2023-09-12 09:10:34.0 +02:00
    }
    +apDeletedAt: null
    +apTimeoutAt: null
    +visibility: "visible             "
    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1689319753 {#268
      date: 2023-07-14 09:29:13.0 +02:00
    }
  }
  "showAvatar" => false
]

App\Twig\Components\UserInlineComponent {#3600
  +user: App\Entity\User {#265
    +avatar: null
    +cover: null
    +email: "lewosadebu@lemmy.world"
    +username: "@lewosadebu@lemmy.world"
    +roles: []
    +followersCount: 0
    +homepage: "front"
    +about: null
    +lastActive: DateTime @1694502634 {#275
      date: 2023-09-12 09:10:34.0 +02:00
    }
    +markedForDeletionAt: null
    +fields: null
    +oauthGithubId: null
    +oauthGoogleId: null
    +oauthFacebookId: null
    +oauthKeycloakId: null
    +hideAdult: true
    +showSubscribedUsers: true
    +showSubscribedMagazines: true
    +showSubscribedDomains: true
    +preferredLanguages: []
    +featuredMagazines: null
    +showProfileSubscriptions: true
    +showProfileFollowings: true
    +markNewComments: false
    +notifyOnNewEntry: false
    +notifyOnNewEntryReply: false
    +notifyOnNewEntryCommentReply: false
    +notifyOnNewPost: false
    +notifyOnNewPostReply: false
    +notifyOnNewPostCommentReply: false
    +addMentionsEntries: false
    +addMentionsPosts: true
    +isBanned: false
    +isVerified: false
    +isDeleted: false
    +isBot: false
    +spamProtection: true
    +customCss: null
    +ignoreMagazinesCustomCss: false
    +moderatorTokens: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#253 …}
    +magazineOwnershipRequests: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#249 …}
    +moderatorRequests: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#238 …}
    +entries: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#196 …}
    +entryVotes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#168 …}
    +entryComments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#141 …}
    +entryCommentVotes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#111 …}
    +posts: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#84 …}
    +postVotes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#99 …}
    +postComments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1863 …}
    +postCommentVotes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1479 …}
    +subscriptions: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1658 …}
    +subscribedDomains: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1868 …}
    +follows: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1917 …}
    +followers: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1601 …}
    +blocks: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1805 …}
    +blockers: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1810 …}
    +blockedMagazines: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1857 …}
    +blockedDomains: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1860 …}
    +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1791 …}
    +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2416 …}
    +violations: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1824 …}
    +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1914 …}
    +awards: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1929 …}
    +subscribedCategories: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1867 …}
    +categories: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1880 …}
    -id: 27100
    -password: "$2y$13$mU45LDGxJ9Vxszmx05XJ6e0IPFGeLY5lWrKUDETRblb7Dt/to2kpu"
    -totpSecret: null
    -totpBackupCodes: []
    -oAuth2UserConsents: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1894 …}
    +apId: "lewosadebu@lemmy.world"
    +apProfileId: "https://lemmy.world/u/lewosadebu"
    +apPublicUrl: "https://lemmy.world/u/lewosadebu"
    +apFollowersUrl: null
    +apInboxUrl: "https://lemmy.world/inbox"
    +apDomain: "lemmy.world"
    +apPreferredUsername: "lewosadebu"
    +apDiscoverable: true
    +apManuallyApprovesFollowers: false
    +privateKey: null
    +publicKey: null
    +apFetchedAt: DateTime @1694502634 {#269
      date: 2023-09-12 09:10:34.0 +02:00
    }
    +apDeletedAt: null
    +apTimeoutAt: null
    +visibility: "visible             "
    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1689319753 {#268
      date: 2023-07-14 09:29:13.0 +02:00
    }
  }
  +showAvatar: false
}

[
  "date" => DateTimeImmutable @1691392512 {#2144
    date: 2023-08-07 09:15:12.0 +02:00
  }
]

App\Twig\Components\DateComponent {#3655
  +date: DateTimeImmutable @1691392512 {#2144
    date: 2023-08-07 09:15:12.0 +02:00
  }
}

[
  "createdAt" => DateTimeImmutable @1691392512 {#2144
    date: 2023-08-07 09:15:12.0 +02:00
  }
  "editedAt" => null
]

App\Twig\Components\DateEditedComponent {#3709
  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1691392512 {#2144
    date: 2023-08-07 09:15:12.0 +02:00
  }
  +editedAt: null
}

[
  "magazine" => Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1617
    +icon: null
    +name: "bestupdates@lemmy.world"
    +title: "bestupdates"
    +description: """
      A place to share the best posts which have updates, shown together with original posts in a consolidated format. This is a place for reddit refugees who liked r/BestOfRedditorUpdates\n
      \n
      Note: Lemmy supports a max post body length of 10k characters
      """
    +rules: null
    +subscriptionsCount: 1
    +entryCount: 35
    +entryCommentCount: 260
    +postCount: 0
    +postCommentCount: 0
    +isAdult: false
    +customCss: null
    +lastActive: DateTime @1698071440 {#2510
      date: 2023-10-23 16:30:40.0 +02:00
    }
    +markedForDeletionAt: null
    +tags: null
    +moderators: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2513 …}
    +ownershipRequests: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2515 …}
    +moderatorRequests: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2517 …}
    +entries: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2519 …}
    +posts: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2521 …}
    +subscriptions: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2523 …}
    +bans: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2529 …}
    +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2537 …}
    +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2550 …}
    +logs: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2560 …}
    +awards: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2542 …}
    +categories: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2566 …}
    -id: 18
    +apId: "bestupdates@lemmy.world"
    +apProfileId: "https://lemmy.world/c/bestupdates"
    +apPublicUrl: "https://lemmy.world/c/bestupdates"
    +apFollowersUrl: "https://lemmy.world/c/bestupdates/followers"
    +apInboxUrl: "https://lemmy.world/inbox"
    +apDomain: "lemmy.world"
    +apPreferredUsername: "bestupdates"
    +apDiscoverable: true
    +apManuallyApprovesFollowers: null
    +privateKey: null
    +publicKey: null
    +apFetchedAt: DateTime @1723365374 {#2511
      date: 2024-08-11 10:36:14.0 +02:00
    }
    +apDeletedAt: null
    +apTimeoutAt: null
    +visibility: "visible             "
    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1687747743 {#2512
      date: 2023-06-26 04:49:03.0 +02:00
    }
    +__isInitialized__: true
     …2
  }
  "showAvatar" => false
]

App\Twig\Components\MagazineInlineComponent {#3763
  +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1617
    +icon: null
    +name: "bestupdates@lemmy.world"
    +title: "bestupdates"
    +description: """
      A place to share the best posts which have updates, shown together with original posts in a consolidated format. This is a place for reddit refugees who liked r/BestOfRedditorUpdates\n
      \n
      Note: Lemmy supports a max post body length of 10k characters
      """
    +rules: null
    +subscriptionsCount: 1
    +entryCount: 35
    +entryCommentCount: 260
    +postCount: 0
    +postCommentCount: 0
    +isAdult: false
    +customCss: null
    +lastActive: DateTime @1698071440 {#2510
      date: 2023-10-23 16:30:40.0 +02:00
    }
    +markedForDeletionAt: null
    +tags: null
    +moderators: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2513 …}
    +ownershipRequests: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2515 …}
    +moderatorRequests: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2517 …}
    +entries: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2519 …}
    +posts: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2521 …}
    +subscriptions: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2523 …}
    +bans: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2529 …}
    +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2537 …}
    +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2550 …}
    +logs: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2560 …}
    +awards: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2542 …}
    +categories: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2566 …}
    -id: 18
    +apId: "bestupdates@lemmy.world"
    +apProfileId: "https://lemmy.world/c/bestupdates"
    +apPublicUrl: "https://lemmy.world/c/bestupdates"
    +apFollowersUrl: "https://lemmy.world/c/bestupdates/followers"
    +apInboxUrl: "https://lemmy.world/inbox"
    +apDomain: "lemmy.world"
    +apPreferredUsername: "bestupdates"
    +apDiscoverable: true
    +apManuallyApprovesFollowers: null
    +privateKey: null
    +publicKey: null
    +apFetchedAt: DateTime @1723365374 {#2511
      date: 2024-08-11 10:36:14.0 +02:00
    }
    +apDeletedAt: null
    +apTimeoutAt: null
    +visibility: "visible             "
    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1687747743 {#2512
      date: 2023-06-26 04:49:03.0 +02:00
    }
    +__isInitialized__: true
     …2
  }
  +showTitle: true
  +fullName: false
  +stretchedLink: false
  +showAvatar: false
}