GET https://kbin.spritesserver.nl/index.php/u/@Timwi@kbin.social/active

Security

Token

There is no security token.

Firewall

main Name
Security enabled
Stateless

Configuration

Key Value
provider security.user.provider.concrete.app_user_provider
context main
entry_point App\Security\KbinAuthenticator
user_checker App\Security\UserChecker
access_denied_handler (none)
access_denied_url (none)
authenticators
[
  "two_factor"
  "remember_me"
  "App\Security\KbinAuthenticator"
  "App\Security\FacebookAuthenticator"
  "App\Security\GoogleAuthenticator"
  "App\Security\GithubAuthenticator"
  "App\Security\KeycloakAuthenticator"
]

Listeners

Listener Duration Response
Symfony\Component\Security\Http\Firewall\ChannelListener {#723
  -map: Symfony\Component\Security\Http\AccessMap {#722 …}
  -logger: Monolog\Logger {#783 …}
  -httpPort: 80
  -httpsPort: 443
}
0.00 ms (none)
Symfony\Component\Security\Http\Firewall\ContextListener {#706
  -tokenStorage: Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authentication\Token\Storage\TokenStorage {#1017 …}
  -sessionKey: "_security_main"
  -logger: Monolog\Logger {#783 …}
  -userProviders: Symfony\Component\DependencyInjection\Argument\RewindableGenerator {#705 …}
  -dispatcher: Symfony\Component\EventDispatcher\Debug\TraceableEventDispatcher {#747 …}
  -registered: false
  -trustResolver: Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authentication\AuthenticationTrustResolver {#780 …}
  -sessionTrackerEnabler: Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authentication\Token\Storage\UsageTrackingTokenStorage::enableUsageTracking(): void {#703 …}
}
0.79 ms (none)
Symfony\Component\Security\Http\Firewall\AuthenticatorManagerListener {#584
  -authenticatorManager: Symfony\Component\Security\Http\Authentication\AuthenticatorManager {#595 …}
}
0.00 ms (none)
Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Http\Firewall\TwoFactorAccessListener {#582
  -twoFactorFirewallConfig: Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\TwoFactor\TwoFactorFirewallConfig {#842 …}
  -tokenStorage: Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authentication\Token\Storage\UsageTrackingTokenStorage {#1018 …}
  -twoFactorAccessDecider: Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\TwoFactorAccessDecider {#581 …}
}
0.06 ms (none)
Symfony\Component\Security\Http\Firewall\AccessListener {#579
  -tokenStorage: Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authentication\Token\Storage\UsageTrackingTokenStorage {#1018 …}
  -accessDecisionManager: Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authorization\TraceableAccessDecisionManager {#937 …}
  -map: Symfony\Component\Security\Http\AccessMap {#722 …}
}
0.00 ms (none)
Symfony\Component\Security\Http\Firewall\LogoutListener {#786
  -tokenStorage: Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authentication\Token\Storage\UsageTrackingTokenStorage {#1018 …}
  -options: [
    "csrf_parameter" => "_csrf_token"
    "csrf_token_id" => "logout"
    "logout_path" => "app_logout"
  ]
  -httpUtils: Symfony\Component\Security\Http\HttpUtils {#841 …}
  -csrfTokenManager: Symfony\Component\Security\Csrf\CsrfTokenManager {#1015 …}
  -eventDispatcher: Symfony\Component\EventDispatcher\Debug\TraceableEventDispatcher {#747 …}
}
0.00 ms (none)

Authenticators

No authenticators have been recorded. Check previous profiles on your authentication endpoint.

Access Decision

affirmative Strategy
# Voter class
1
"Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authorization\Voter\AuthenticatedVoter"
2
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
3
"Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authorization\Voter\RoleHierarchyVoter"
4
"Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authorization\Voter\ExpressionVoter"
5
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
6
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
7
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
8
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
9
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
10
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
11
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
12
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
13
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
14
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"

Access decision log

# Result Attributes Object
1 DENIED ROLE_USER
null
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authorization\Voter\RoleHierarchyVoter"
ACCESS DENIED
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
2 DENIED moderate
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1910
  +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2027 …}
  +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1906 …}
  +image: null
  +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2213 …}
  +slug: "PDF-Piracy"
  +title: "PDF Piracy"
  +url: null
  +body: """
    I am officially an old person, as I have subscribed to a magazine. It’s niche, but it’s been around a long time, and having enjoyed a lot of issues in my childhood that were given to me for free, I feel I should give back.\n
    \n
    I’m wondering if there are precautions I should take. Can any sort of copy protection be put into PDFs that I should strip out? If I share them as a torrent, should I be worried that the publisher can tell where they came from?
    """
  +type: "article"
  +lang: "en"
  +isOc: false
  +hasEmbed: false
  +commentCount: 20
  +favouriteCount: 145
  +score: 0
  +isAdult: false
  +sticky: false
  +lastActive: DateTime @1719183128 {#2394
    date: 2024-06-24 00:52:08.0 +02:00
  }
  +ip: null
  +adaAmount: 0
  +tags: null
  +mentions: null
  +comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2214 …}
  +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2227 …}
  +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2224 …}
  +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2305 …}
  +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2310 …}
  +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2281 …}
  +children: [
    App\Entity\EntryComment {#2383
      +user: App\Entity\User {#264 …}
      +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1910 …2}
      +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1906 …}
      +image: null
      +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1909 …}
      +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1708 …}
      +body: """
        This obviously assumes that you know exactly what metadata you want to eliminate *and* how to view it.\n
        \n
        The OP’s whole point of asking is that they don't know the former.
        """
      +lang: "en"
      +isAdult: false
      +favouriteCount: 18
      +score: 0
      +lastActive: DateTime @1704415867 {#2379
        date: 2024-01-05 01:51:07.0 +01:00
      }
      +ip: null
      +tags: null
      +mentions: [
        "@sebinspace@lemmy.world"
        "@Atropos@lemmy.world"
        "@danielquinn@lemmy.ca"
      ]
      +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1926 …}
      +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1874 …}
      +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1908 …}
      +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1883 …}
      +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2389 …}
      +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2387 …}
      -id: 281244
      -bodyTs: "'ask':25 'assum':3 'elimin':13 'exact':7 'former':33 'know':6,31 'metadata':9 'obvious':2 'op':20 'point':23 'view':17 'want':11 'whole':22"
      +ranking: 0
      +commentCount: 0
      +upVotes: 0
      +downVotes: 0
      +visibility: "visible             "
      +apId: "https://kbin.social/m/piracy@lemmy.dbzer0.com/t/741033/-/comment/4411958"
      +editedAt: null
      +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1704415867 {#2381
        date: 2024-01-05 01:51:07.0 +01:00
      }
      +"title": 281244
    }
  ]
  -id: 27287
  -titleTs: "'pdf':1 'piraci':2"
  -bodyTs: "'around':21 'back':47 'came':91 'childhood':34 'copi':62 'enjoy':27 'feel':43 'free':41 'give':46 'given':37 'issu':31 'long':23 'lot':29 'm':49 'magazin':13 'nich':16 'offici':3 'old':5 'pdfs':67 'person':6 'precaut':54 'protect':63 'publish':86 'put':65 'share':75 'sort':60 'strip':71 'subscrib':10 'take':57 'tell':88 'time':24 'torrent':79 'wonder':50 'worri':83"
  +cross: false
  +upVotes: 0
  +downVotes: 0
  +ranking: 1704496553
  +visibility: "visible             "
  +apId: "https://lemmy.world/post/10326031"
  +editedAt: null
  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1704410153 {#2334
    date: 2024-01-05 00:15:53.0 +01:00
  }
  +__isInitialized__: true
   …2
}
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
ACCESS DENIED
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
3 DENIED edit
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1910
  +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2027 …}
  +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1906 …}
  +image: null
  +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2213 …}
  +slug: "PDF-Piracy"
  +title: "PDF Piracy"
  +url: null
  +body: """
    I am officially an old person, as I have subscribed to a magazine. It’s niche, but it’s been around a long time, and having enjoyed a lot of issues in my childhood that were given to me for free, I feel I should give back.\n
    \n
    I’m wondering if there are precautions I should take. Can any sort of copy protection be put into PDFs that I should strip out? If I share them as a torrent, should I be worried that the publisher can tell where they came from?
    """
  +type: "article"
  +lang: "en"
  +isOc: false
  +hasEmbed: false
  +commentCount: 20
  +favouriteCount: 145
  +score: 0
  +isAdult: false
  +sticky: false
  +lastActive: DateTime @1719183128 {#2394
    date: 2024-06-24 00:52:08.0 +02:00
  }
  +ip: null
  +adaAmount: 0
  +tags: null
  +mentions: null
  +comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2214 …}
  +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2227 …}
  +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2224 …}
  +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2305 …}
  +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2310 …}
  +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2281 …}
  +children: [
    App\Entity\EntryComment {#2383
      +user: App\Entity\User {#264 …}
      +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1910 …2}
      +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1906 …}
      +image: null
      +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1909 …}
      +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1708 …}
      +body: """
        This obviously assumes that you know exactly what metadata you want to eliminate *and* how to view it.\n
        \n
        The OP’s whole point of asking is that they don't know the former.
        """
      +lang: "en"
      +isAdult: false
      +favouriteCount: 18
      +score: 0
      +lastActive: DateTime @1704415867 {#2379
        date: 2024-01-05 01:51:07.0 +01:00
      }
      +ip: null
      +tags: null
      +mentions: [
        "@sebinspace@lemmy.world"
        "@Atropos@lemmy.world"
        "@danielquinn@lemmy.ca"
      ]
      +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1926 …}
      +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1874 …}
      +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1908 …}
      +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1883 …}
      +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2389 …}
      +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2387 …}
      -id: 281244
      -bodyTs: "'ask':25 'assum':3 'elimin':13 'exact':7 'former':33 'know':6,31 'metadata':9 'obvious':2 'op':20 'point':23 'view':17 'want':11 'whole':22"
      +ranking: 0
      +commentCount: 0
      +upVotes: 0
      +downVotes: 0
      +visibility: "visible             "
      +apId: "https://kbin.social/m/piracy@lemmy.dbzer0.com/t/741033/-/comment/4411958"
      +editedAt: null
      +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1704415867 {#2381
        date: 2024-01-05 01:51:07.0 +01:00
      }
      +"title": 281244
    }
  ]
  -id: 27287
  -titleTs: "'pdf':1 'piraci':2"
  -bodyTs: "'around':21 'back':47 'came':91 'childhood':34 'copi':62 'enjoy':27 'feel':43 'free':41 'give':46 'given':37 'issu':31 'long':23 'lot':29 'm':49 'magazin':13 'nich':16 'offici':3 'old':5 'pdfs':67 'person':6 'precaut':54 'protect':63 'publish':86 'put':65 'share':75 'sort':60 'strip':71 'subscrib':10 'take':57 'tell':88 'time':24 'torrent':79 'wonder':50 'worri':83"
  +cross: false
  +upVotes: 0
  +downVotes: 0
  +ranking: 1704496553
  +visibility: "visible             "
  +apId: "https://lemmy.world/post/10326031"
  +editedAt: null
  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1704410153 {#2334
    date: 2024-01-05 00:15:53.0 +01:00
  }
  +__isInitialized__: true
   …2
}
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
ACCESS DENIED
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
4 DENIED moderate
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1910
  +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2027 …}
  +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1906 …}
  +image: null
  +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2213 …}
  +slug: "PDF-Piracy"
  +title: "PDF Piracy"
  +url: null
  +body: """
    I am officially an old person, as I have subscribed to a magazine. It’s niche, but it’s been around a long time, and having enjoyed a lot of issues in my childhood that were given to me for free, I feel I should give back.\n
    \n
    I’m wondering if there are precautions I should take. Can any sort of copy protection be put into PDFs that I should strip out? If I share them as a torrent, should I be worried that the publisher can tell where they came from?
    """
  +type: "article"
  +lang: "en"
  +isOc: false
  +hasEmbed: false
  +commentCount: 20
  +favouriteCount: 145
  +score: 0
  +isAdult: false
  +sticky: false
  +lastActive: DateTime @1719183128 {#2394
    date: 2024-06-24 00:52:08.0 +02:00
  }
  +ip: null
  +adaAmount: 0
  +tags: null
  +mentions: null
  +comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2214 …}
  +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2227 …}
  +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2224 …}
  +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2305 …}
  +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2310 …}
  +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2281 …}
  +children: [
    App\Entity\EntryComment {#2383
      +user: App\Entity\User {#264 …}
      +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1910 …2}
      +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1906 …}
      +image: null
      +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1909 …}
      +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1708 …}
      +body: """
        This obviously assumes that you know exactly what metadata you want to eliminate *and* how to view it.\n
        \n
        The OP’s whole point of asking is that they don't know the former.
        """
      +lang: "en"
      +isAdult: false
      +favouriteCount: 18
      +score: 0
      +lastActive: DateTime @1704415867 {#2379
        date: 2024-01-05 01:51:07.0 +01:00
      }
      +ip: null
      +tags: null
      +mentions: [
        "@sebinspace@lemmy.world"
        "@Atropos@lemmy.world"
        "@danielquinn@lemmy.ca"
      ]
      +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1926 …}
      +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1874 …}
      +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1908 …}
      +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1883 …}
      +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2389 …}
      +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2387 …}
      -id: 281244
      -bodyTs: "'ask':25 'assum':3 'elimin':13 'exact':7 'former':33 'know':6,31 'metadata':9 'obvious':2 'op':20 'point':23 'view':17 'want':11 'whole':22"
      +ranking: 0
      +commentCount: 0
      +upVotes: 0
      +downVotes: 0
      +visibility: "visible             "
      +apId: "https://kbin.social/m/piracy@lemmy.dbzer0.com/t/741033/-/comment/4411958"
      +editedAt: null
      +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1704415867 {#2381
        date: 2024-01-05 01:51:07.0 +01:00
      }
      +"title": 281244
    }
  ]
  -id: 27287
  -titleTs: "'pdf':1 'piraci':2"
  -bodyTs: "'around':21 'back':47 'came':91 'childhood':34 'copi':62 'enjoy':27 'feel':43 'free':41 'give':46 'given':37 'issu':31 'long':23 'lot':29 'm':49 'magazin':13 'nich':16 'offici':3 'old':5 'pdfs':67 'person':6 'precaut':54 'protect':63 'publish':86 'put':65 'share':75 'sort':60 'strip':71 'subscrib':10 'take':57 'tell':88 'time':24 'torrent':79 'wonder':50 'worri':83"
  +cross: false
  +upVotes: 0
  +downVotes: 0
  +ranking: 1704496553
  +visibility: "visible             "
  +apId: "https://lemmy.world/post/10326031"
  +editedAt: null
  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1704410153 {#2334
    date: 2024-01-05 00:15:53.0 +01:00
  }
  +__isInitialized__: true
   …2
}
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
ACCESS DENIED
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
5 DENIED ROLE_USER
null
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authorization\Voter\RoleHierarchyVoter"
ACCESS DENIED
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
6 DENIED moderate
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2383
  +user: App\Entity\User {#264 …}
  +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1910
    +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2027 …}
    +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1906 …}
    +image: null
    +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2213 …}
    +slug: "PDF-Piracy"
    +title: "PDF Piracy"
    +url: null
    +body: """
      I am officially an old person, as I have subscribed to a magazine. It’s niche, but it’s been around a long time, and having enjoyed a lot of issues in my childhood that were given to me for free, I feel I should give back.\n
      \n
      I’m wondering if there are precautions I should take. Can any sort of copy protection be put into PDFs that I should strip out? If I share them as a torrent, should I be worried that the publisher can tell where they came from?
      """
    +type: "article"
    +lang: "en"
    +isOc: false
    +hasEmbed: false
    +commentCount: 20
    +favouriteCount: 145
    +score: 0
    +isAdult: false
    +sticky: false
    +lastActive: DateTime @1719183128 {#2394
      date: 2024-06-24 00:52:08.0 +02:00
    }
    +ip: null
    +adaAmount: 0
    +tags: null
    +mentions: null
    +comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2214 …}
    +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2227 …}
    +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2224 …}
    +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2305 …}
    +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2310 …}
    +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2281 …}
    +children: [
      App\Entity\EntryComment {#2383}
    ]
    -id: 27287
    -titleTs: "'pdf':1 'piraci':2"
    -bodyTs: "'around':21 'back':47 'came':91 'childhood':34 'copi':62 'enjoy':27 'feel':43 'free':41 'give':46 'given':37 'issu':31 'long':23 'lot':29 'm':49 'magazin':13 'nich':16 'offici':3 'old':5 'pdfs':67 'person':6 'precaut':54 'protect':63 'publish':86 'put':65 'share':75 'sort':60 'strip':71 'subscrib':10 'take':57 'tell':88 'time':24 'torrent':79 'wonder':50 'worri':83"
    +cross: false
    +upVotes: 0
    +downVotes: 0
    +ranking: 1704496553
    +visibility: "visible             "
    +apId: "https://lemmy.world/post/10326031"
    +editedAt: null
    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1704410153 {#2334
      date: 2024-01-05 00:15:53.0 +01:00
    }
    +__isInitialized__: true
     …2
  }
  +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1906 …}
  +image: null
  +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1909 …}
  +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1708 …}
  +body: """
    This obviously assumes that you know exactly what metadata you want to eliminate *and* how to view it.\n
    \n
    The OP’s whole point of asking is that they don't know the former.
    """
  +lang: "en"
  +isAdult: false
  +favouriteCount: 18
  +score: 0
  +lastActive: DateTime @1704415867 {#2379
    date: 2024-01-05 01:51:07.0 +01:00
  }
  +ip: null
  +tags: null
  +mentions: [
    "@sebinspace@lemmy.world"
    "@Atropos@lemmy.world"
    "@danielquinn@lemmy.ca"
  ]
  +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1926 …}
  +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1874 …}
  +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1908 …}
  +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1883 …}
  +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2389 …}
  +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2387 …}
  -id: 281244
  -bodyTs: "'ask':25 'assum':3 'elimin':13 'exact':7 'former':33 'know':6,31 'metadata':9 'obvious':2 'op':20 'point':23 'view':17 'want':11 'whole':22"
  +ranking: 0
  +commentCount: 0
  +upVotes: 0
  +downVotes: 0
  +visibility: "visible             "
  +apId: "https://kbin.social/m/piracy@lemmy.dbzer0.com/t/741033/-/comment/4411958"
  +editedAt: null
  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1704415867 {#2381
    date: 2024-01-05 01:51:07.0 +01:00
  }
  +"title": 281244
}
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
ACCESS DENIED
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
7 DENIED edit
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2383
  +user: App\Entity\User {#264 …}
  +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1910
    +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2027 …}
    +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1906 …}
    +image: null
    +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2213 …}
    +slug: "PDF-Piracy"
    +title: "PDF Piracy"
    +url: null
    +body: """
      I am officially an old person, as I have subscribed to a magazine. It’s niche, but it’s been around a long time, and having enjoyed a lot of issues in my childhood that were given to me for free, I feel I should give back.\n
      \n
      I’m wondering if there are precautions I should take. Can any sort of copy protection be put into PDFs that I should strip out? If I share them as a torrent, should I be worried that the publisher can tell where they came from?
      """
    +type: "article"
    +lang: "en"
    +isOc: false
    +hasEmbed: false
    +commentCount: 20
    +favouriteCount: 145
    +score: 0
    +isAdult: false
    +sticky: false
    +lastActive: DateTime @1719183128 {#2394
      date: 2024-06-24 00:52:08.0 +02:00
    }
    +ip: null
    +adaAmount: 0
    +tags: null
    +mentions: null
    +comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2214 …}
    +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2227 …}
    +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2224 …}
    +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2305 …}
    +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2310 …}
    +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2281 …}
    +children: [
      App\Entity\EntryComment {#2383}
    ]
    -id: 27287
    -titleTs: "'pdf':1 'piraci':2"
    -bodyTs: "'around':21 'back':47 'came':91 'childhood':34 'copi':62 'enjoy':27 'feel':43 'free':41 'give':46 'given':37 'issu':31 'long':23 'lot':29 'm':49 'magazin':13 'nich':16 'offici':3 'old':5 'pdfs':67 'person':6 'precaut':54 'protect':63 'publish':86 'put':65 'share':75 'sort':60 'strip':71 'subscrib':10 'take':57 'tell':88 'time':24 'torrent':79 'wonder':50 'worri':83"
    +cross: false
    +upVotes: 0
    +downVotes: 0
    +ranking: 1704496553
    +visibility: "visible             "
    +apId: "https://lemmy.world/post/10326031"
    +editedAt: null
    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1704410153 {#2334
      date: 2024-01-05 00:15:53.0 +01:00
    }
    +__isInitialized__: true
     …2
  }
  +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1906 …}
  +image: null
  +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1909 …}
  +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1708 …}
  +body: """
    This obviously assumes that you know exactly what metadata you want to eliminate *and* how to view it.\n
    \n
    The OP’s whole point of asking is that they don't know the former.
    """
  +lang: "en"
  +isAdult: false
  +favouriteCount: 18
  +score: 0
  +lastActive: DateTime @1704415867 {#2379
    date: 2024-01-05 01:51:07.0 +01:00
  }
  +ip: null
  +tags: null
  +mentions: [
    "@sebinspace@lemmy.world"
    "@Atropos@lemmy.world"
    "@danielquinn@lemmy.ca"
  ]
  +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1926 …}
  +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1874 …}
  +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1908 …}
  +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1883 …}
  +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2389 …}
  +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2387 …}
  -id: 281244
  -bodyTs: "'ask':25 'assum':3 'elimin':13 'exact':7 'former':33 'know':6,31 'metadata':9 'obvious':2 'op':20 'point':23 'view':17 'want':11 'whole':22"
  +ranking: 0
  +commentCount: 0
  +upVotes: 0
  +downVotes: 0
  +visibility: "visible             "
  +apId: "https://kbin.social/m/piracy@lemmy.dbzer0.com/t/741033/-/comment/4411958"
  +editedAt: null
  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1704415867 {#2381
    date: 2024-01-05 01:51:07.0 +01:00
  }
  +"title": 281244
}
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
ACCESS DENIED
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
8 DENIED moderate
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2383
  +user: App\Entity\User {#264 …}
  +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1910
    +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2027 …}
    +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1906 …}
    +image: null
    +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2213 …}
    +slug: "PDF-Piracy"
    +title: "PDF Piracy"
    +url: null
    +body: """
      I am officially an old person, as I have subscribed to a magazine. It’s niche, but it’s been around a long time, and having enjoyed a lot of issues in my childhood that were given to me for free, I feel I should give back.\n
      \n
      I’m wondering if there are precautions I should take. Can any sort of copy protection be put into PDFs that I should strip out? If I share them as a torrent, should I be worried that the publisher can tell where they came from?
      """
    +type: "article"
    +lang: "en"
    +isOc: false
    +hasEmbed: false
    +commentCount: 20
    +favouriteCount: 145
    +score: 0
    +isAdult: false
    +sticky: false
    +lastActive: DateTime @1719183128 {#2394
      date: 2024-06-24 00:52:08.0 +02:00
    }
    +ip: null
    +adaAmount: 0
    +tags: null
    +mentions: null
    +comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2214 …}
    +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2227 …}
    +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2224 …}
    +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2305 …}
    +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2310 …}
    +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2281 …}
    +children: [
      App\Entity\EntryComment {#2383}
    ]
    -id: 27287
    -titleTs: "'pdf':1 'piraci':2"
    -bodyTs: "'around':21 'back':47 'came':91 'childhood':34 'copi':62 'enjoy':27 'feel':43 'free':41 'give':46 'given':37 'issu':31 'long':23 'lot':29 'm':49 'magazin':13 'nich':16 'offici':3 'old':5 'pdfs':67 'person':6 'precaut':54 'protect':63 'publish':86 'put':65 'share':75 'sort':60 'strip':71 'subscrib':10 'take':57 'tell':88 'time':24 'torrent':79 'wonder':50 'worri':83"
    +cross: false
    +upVotes: 0
    +downVotes: 0
    +ranking: 1704496553
    +visibility: "visible             "
    +apId: "https://lemmy.world/post/10326031"
    +editedAt: null
    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1704410153 {#2334
      date: 2024-01-05 00:15:53.0 +01:00
    }
    +__isInitialized__: true
     …2
  }
  +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1906 …}
  +image: null
  +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1909 …}
  +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1708 …}
  +body: """
    This obviously assumes that you know exactly what metadata you want to eliminate *and* how to view it.\n
    \n
    The OP’s whole point of asking is that they don't know the former.
    """
  +lang: "en"
  +isAdult: false
  +favouriteCount: 18
  +score: 0
  +lastActive: DateTime @1704415867 {#2379
    date: 2024-01-05 01:51:07.0 +01:00
  }
  +ip: null
  +tags: null
  +mentions: [
    "@sebinspace@lemmy.world"
    "@Atropos@lemmy.world"
    "@danielquinn@lemmy.ca"
  ]
  +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1926 …}
  +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1874 …}
  +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1908 …}
  +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1883 …}
  +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2389 …}
  +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2387 …}
  -id: 281244
  -bodyTs: "'ask':25 'assum':3 'elimin':13 'exact':7 'former':33 'know':6,31 'metadata':9 'obvious':2 'op':20 'point':23 'view':17 'want':11 'whole':22"
  +ranking: 0
  +commentCount: 0
  +upVotes: 0
  +downVotes: 0
  +visibility: "visible             "
  +apId: "https://kbin.social/m/piracy@lemmy.dbzer0.com/t/741033/-/comment/4411958"
  +editedAt: null
  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1704415867 {#2381
    date: 2024-01-05 01:51:07.0 +01:00
  }
  +"title": 281244
}
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
ACCESS DENIED
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
9 DENIED ROLE_USER
null
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authorization\Voter\RoleHierarchyVoter"
ACCESS DENIED
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
10 DENIED moderate
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1718
  +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2280 …}
  +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1720 …}
  +image: null
  +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2213 …}
  +slug: "If-many-extraterrestrial-civilizations-were-nearby-but-trying-to-keep"
  +title: "If many extraterrestrial civilizations were nearby but trying to keep quiet, how would you suggest drawing them out?"
  +url: null
  +body: """
    What do you think would finally be their, “Enough, we *gotta* say something!” situation?\n
    \n
    **Edit:**  \n
    Put another way, what might serve as a cosmic icebreaker?
    """
  +type: "article"
  +lang: "en"
  +isOc: false
  +hasEmbed: false
  +commentCount: 67
  +favouriteCount: 109
  +score: 0
  +isAdult: false
  +sticky: false
  +lastActive: DateTime @1701900872 {#2290
    date: 2023-12-06 23:14:32.0 +01:00
  }
  +ip: null
  +adaAmount: 0
  +tags: null
  +mentions: null
  +comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2282 …}
  +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2221 …}
  +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2217 …}
  +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2199 …}
  +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2195 …}
  +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2197 …}
  +children: [
    2 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1714
      +user: App\Entity\User {#264 …}
      +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1718 …2}
      +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1720 …}
      +image: null
      +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1716 …}
      +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1716 …}
      +body: "The oppressive existential threat you reference doesn't need to exist for the universe to be a dark forest universe. It's enough for every sufficiently advanced civilization to realize that such a threat *could* exist and remain quiet and hidden just in case."
      +lang: "en"
      +isAdult: false
      +favouriteCount: 14
      +score: 0
      +lastActive: DateTime @1701590717 {#1719
        date: 2023-12-03 09:05:17.0 +01:00
      }
      +ip: null
      +tags: null
      +mentions: [
        "@ALostInquirer@lemm.ee"
        "@Excrubulent@slrpnk.net"
      ]
      +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1717 …}
      +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1741 …}
      +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1707 …}
      +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2464 …}
      +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2448 …}
      +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2447 …}
      -id: 191389
      -bodyTs: "'advanc':27 'case':44 'civil':28 'could':35 'dark':18 'doesn':7 'enough':23 'everi':25 'exist':11,36 'existenti':3 'forest':19 'hidden':41 'need':9 'oppress':2 'quiet':39 'realiz':30 'refer':6 'remain':38 'suffici':26 'threat':4,34 'univers':14,20"
      +ranking: 0
      +commentCount: 0
      +upVotes: 0
      +downVotes: 0
      +visibility: "visible             "
      +apId: "https://kbin.social/m/asklemmy@lemmy.world/t/675067/-/comment/3911978"
      +editedAt: null
      +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701590717 {#1715
        date: 2023-12-03 09:05:17.0 +01:00
      }
      +"title": 191389
    }
    1 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#2461
      +user: App\Entity\User {#264 …}
      +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1718 …2}
      +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1720 …}
      +image: null
      +parent: null
      +root: null
      +body: "Humans have shown time and time again in their history that they are expansionist, imperialistic assholes. For aliens to be spooked, we only need to show that tendency on a cosmic scale. If we start sending out probes or even manned missions to far away places that are barely likely to support life, we will instantly label ourselves as greedy conquerors. As soon as a colony of ours starts sending out new missions to create even more colonies, that's when all civilizations, even the less advanced, realize that we're the first stage of a cosmic cancer that must be nipped in the bud at all costs."
      +lang: "en"
      +isAdult: false
      +favouriteCount: 2
      +score: 0
      +lastActive: DateTime @1701591229 {#2462
        date: 2023-12-03 09:13:49.0 +01:00
      }
      +ip: null
      +tags: null
      +mentions: [
        "@ALostInquirer@lemm.ee"
      ]
      +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2456 …}
      +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2453 …}
      +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2457 …}
      +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2455 …}
      +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2468 …}
      +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2469 …}
      -id: 191404
      -bodyTs: "'advanc':87 'alien':18 'asshol':16 'away':45 'bare':49 'bud':105 'cancer':98 'civil':83 'coloni':66,78 'conqueror':61 'cosmic':31,97 'cost':108 'creat':75 'even':40,76,84 'expansionist':14 'far':44 'first':93 'greedi':60 'histori':10 'human':1 'imperialist':15 'instant':56 'label':57 'less':86 'life':53 'like':50 'man':41 'mission':42,73 'must':100 'need':24 'new':72 'nip':102 'place':46 'probe':38 're':91 'realiz':88 'scale':32 'send':36,70 'show':26 'shown':3 'soon':63 'spook':21 'stage':94 'start':35,69 'support':52 'tendenc':28 'time':4,6"
      +ranking: 0
      +commentCount: 0
      +upVotes: 0
      +downVotes: 0
      +visibility: "visible             "
      +apId: "https://kbin.social/m/asklemmy@lemmy.world/t/675067/-/comment/3912046"
      +editedAt: null
      +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701591229 {#2458
        date: 2023-12-03 09:13:49.0 +01:00
      }
      +"title": 191404
    }
    0 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#2363
      +user: App\Entity\User {#264 …}
      +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1718 …2}
      +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1720 …}
      +image: null
      +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#2370 …}
      +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1716 …}
      +body: """
        I do agree with your probability assessment; I too think that the Prime Directive is a more plausible answer to the Fermi paradox, as is “we're just alone”.\n
        \n
        However, it is not necessarily the case that everyone suddenly gets talking as soon as one of them breaks radio silence. If everyone is silent because of a perceived possible threat, then it stands to reason they will continue to be silent even when they receive a message.
        """
      +lang: "en"
      +isAdult: false
      +favouriteCount: 3
      +score: 0
      +lastActive: DateTime @1701593342 {#2471
        date: 2023-12-03 09:49:02.0 +01:00
      }
      +ip: null
      +tags: null
      +mentions: [
        "@ALostInquirer@lemm.ee"
        "@Excrubulent@slrpnk.net"
        "@Timwi@kbin.social"
      ]
      +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2377 …}
      +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2359 …}
      +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2364 …}
      +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2380 …}
      +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2382 …}
      +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2384 …}
      -id: 191477
      -bodyTs: "'agre':3 'alon':29 'answer':19 'assess':7 'break':48 'case':36 'continu':68 'direct':14 'even':72 'everyon':38,52 'fermi':22 'get':40 'howev':30 'messag':77 'necessarili':34 'one':45 'paradox':23 'perceiv':58 'plausibl':18 'possibl':59 'prime':13 'probabl':6 'radio':49 're':27 'reason':65 'receiv':75 'silenc':50 'silent':54,71 'soon':43 'stand':63 'sudden':39 'talk':41 'think':10 'threat':60"
      +ranking: 0
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      +upVotes: 0
      +downVotes: 0
      +visibility: "visible             "
      +apId: "https://kbin.social/m/asklemmy@lemmy.world/t/675067/-/comment/3912364"
      +editedAt: null
      +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701593342 {#2371
        date: 2023-12-03 09:49:02.0 +01:00
      }
      +"title": 191477
    }
  ]
  -id: 19683
  -titleTs: "'civil':4 'draw':16 'extraterrestri':3 'keep':10 'mani':2 'nearbi':6 'quiet':11 'suggest':15 'tri':8 'would':13"
  -bodyTs: "'anoth':17 'cosmic':24 'edit':15 'enough':9 'final':6 'gotta':11 'icebreak':25 'might':20 'put':16 'say':12 'serv':21 'situat':14 'someth':13 'think':4 'way':18 'would':5"
  +cross: false
  +upVotes: 0
  +downVotes: 0
  +ranking: 1701673008
  +visibility: "visible             "
  +apId: "https://lemm.ee/post/16760422"
  +editedAt: DateTimeImmutable @1702765008 {#2106
    date: 2023-12-16 23:16:48.0 +01:00
  }
  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701586608 {#2347
    date: 2023-12-03 07:56:48.0 +01:00
  }
  +__isInitialized__: true
   …2
}
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
ACCESS DENIED
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11 DENIED edit
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1718
  +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2280 …}
  +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1720 …}
  +image: null
  +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2213 …}
  +slug: "If-many-extraterrestrial-civilizations-were-nearby-but-trying-to-keep"
  +title: "If many extraterrestrial civilizations were nearby but trying to keep quiet, how would you suggest drawing them out?"
  +url: null
  +body: """
    What do you think would finally be their, “Enough, we *gotta* say something!” situation?\n
    \n
    **Edit:**  \n
    Put another way, what might serve as a cosmic icebreaker?
    """
  +type: "article"
  +lang: "en"
  +isOc: false
  +hasEmbed: false
  +commentCount: 67
  +favouriteCount: 109
  +score: 0
  +isAdult: false
  +sticky: false
  +lastActive: DateTime @1701900872 {#2290
    date: 2023-12-06 23:14:32.0 +01:00
  }
  +ip: null
  +adaAmount: 0
  +tags: null
  +mentions: null
  +comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2282 …}
  +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2221 …}
  +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2217 …}
  +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2199 …}
  +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2195 …}
  +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2197 …}
  +children: [
    2 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1714
      +user: App\Entity\User {#264 …}
      +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1718 …2}
      +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1720 …}
      +image: null
      +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1716 …}
      +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1716 …}
      +body: "The oppressive existential threat you reference doesn't need to exist for the universe to be a dark forest universe. It's enough for every sufficiently advanced civilization to realize that such a threat *could* exist and remain quiet and hidden just in case."
      +lang: "en"
      +isAdult: false
      +favouriteCount: 14
      +score: 0
      +lastActive: DateTime @1701590717 {#1719
        date: 2023-12-03 09:05:17.0 +01:00
      }
      +ip: null
      +tags: null
      +mentions: [
        "@ALostInquirer@lemm.ee"
        "@Excrubulent@slrpnk.net"
      ]
      +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1717 …}
      +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1741 …}
      +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1707 …}
      +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2464 …}
      +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2448 …}
      +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2447 …}
      -id: 191389
      -bodyTs: "'advanc':27 'case':44 'civil':28 'could':35 'dark':18 'doesn':7 'enough':23 'everi':25 'exist':11,36 'existenti':3 'forest':19 'hidden':41 'need':9 'oppress':2 'quiet':39 'realiz':30 'refer':6 'remain':38 'suffici':26 'threat':4,34 'univers':14,20"
      +ranking: 0
      +commentCount: 0
      +upVotes: 0
      +downVotes: 0
      +visibility: "visible             "
      +apId: "https://kbin.social/m/asklemmy@lemmy.world/t/675067/-/comment/3911978"
      +editedAt: null
      +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701590717 {#1715
        date: 2023-12-03 09:05:17.0 +01:00
      }
      +"title": 191389
    }
    1 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#2461
      +user: App\Entity\User {#264 …}
      +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1718 …2}
      +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1720 …}
      +image: null
      +parent: null
      +root: null
      +body: "Humans have shown time and time again in their history that they are expansionist, imperialistic assholes. For aliens to be spooked, we only need to show that tendency on a cosmic scale. If we start sending out probes or even manned missions to far away places that are barely likely to support life, we will instantly label ourselves as greedy conquerors. As soon as a colony of ours starts sending out new missions to create even more colonies, that's when all civilizations, even the less advanced, realize that we're the first stage of a cosmic cancer that must be nipped in the bud at all costs."
      +lang: "en"
      +isAdult: false
      +favouriteCount: 2
      +score: 0
      +lastActive: DateTime @1701591229 {#2462
        date: 2023-12-03 09:13:49.0 +01:00
      }
      +ip: null
      +tags: null
      +mentions: [
        "@ALostInquirer@lemm.ee"
      ]
      +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2456 …}
      +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2453 …}
      +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2457 …}
      +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2455 …}
      +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2468 …}
      +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2469 …}
      -id: 191404
      -bodyTs: "'advanc':87 'alien':18 'asshol':16 'away':45 'bare':49 'bud':105 'cancer':98 'civil':83 'coloni':66,78 'conqueror':61 'cosmic':31,97 'cost':108 'creat':75 'even':40,76,84 'expansionist':14 'far':44 'first':93 'greedi':60 'histori':10 'human':1 'imperialist':15 'instant':56 'label':57 'less':86 'life':53 'like':50 'man':41 'mission':42,73 'must':100 'need':24 'new':72 'nip':102 'place':46 'probe':38 're':91 'realiz':88 'scale':32 'send':36,70 'show':26 'shown':3 'soon':63 'spook':21 'stage':94 'start':35,69 'support':52 'tendenc':28 'time':4,6"
      +ranking: 0
      +commentCount: 0
      +upVotes: 0
      +downVotes: 0
      +visibility: "visible             "
      +apId: "https://kbin.social/m/asklemmy@lemmy.world/t/675067/-/comment/3912046"
      +editedAt: null
      +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701591229 {#2458
        date: 2023-12-03 09:13:49.0 +01:00
      }
      +"title": 191404
    }
    0 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#2363
      +user: App\Entity\User {#264 …}
      +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1718 …2}
      +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1720 …}
      +image: null
      +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#2370 …}
      +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1716 …}
      +body: """
        I do agree with your probability assessment; I too think that the Prime Directive is a more plausible answer to the Fermi paradox, as is “we're just alone”.\n
        \n
        However, it is not necessarily the case that everyone suddenly gets talking as soon as one of them breaks radio silence. If everyone is silent because of a perceived possible threat, then it stands to reason they will continue to be silent even when they receive a message.
        """
      +lang: "en"
      +isAdult: false
      +favouriteCount: 3
      +score: 0
      +lastActive: DateTime @1701593342 {#2471
        date: 2023-12-03 09:49:02.0 +01:00
      }
      +ip: null
      +tags: null
      +mentions: [
        "@ALostInquirer@lemm.ee"
        "@Excrubulent@slrpnk.net"
        "@Timwi@kbin.social"
      ]
      +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2377 …}
      +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2359 …}
      +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2364 …}
      +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2380 …}
      +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2382 …}
      +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2384 …}
      -id: 191477
      -bodyTs: "'agre':3 'alon':29 'answer':19 'assess':7 'break':48 'case':36 'continu':68 'direct':14 'even':72 'everyon':38,52 'fermi':22 'get':40 'howev':30 'messag':77 'necessarili':34 'one':45 'paradox':23 'perceiv':58 'plausibl':18 'possibl':59 'prime':13 'probabl':6 'radio':49 're':27 'reason':65 'receiv':75 'silenc':50 'silent':54,71 'soon':43 'stand':63 'sudden':39 'talk':41 'think':10 'threat':60"
      +ranking: 0
      +commentCount: 0
      +upVotes: 0
      +downVotes: 0
      +visibility: "visible             "
      +apId: "https://kbin.social/m/asklemmy@lemmy.world/t/675067/-/comment/3912364"
      +editedAt: null
      +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701593342 {#2371
        date: 2023-12-03 09:49:02.0 +01:00
      }
      +"title": 191477
    }
  ]
  -id: 19683
  -titleTs: "'civil':4 'draw':16 'extraterrestri':3 'keep':10 'mani':2 'nearbi':6 'quiet':11 'suggest':15 'tri':8 'would':13"
  -bodyTs: "'anoth':17 'cosmic':24 'edit':15 'enough':9 'final':6 'gotta':11 'icebreak':25 'might':20 'put':16 'say':12 'serv':21 'situat':14 'someth':13 'think':4 'way':18 'would':5"
  +cross: false
  +upVotes: 0
  +downVotes: 0
  +ranking: 1701673008
  +visibility: "visible             "
  +apId: "https://lemm.ee/post/16760422"
  +editedAt: DateTimeImmutable @1702765008 {#2106
    date: 2023-12-16 23:16:48.0 +01:00
  }
  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701586608 {#2347
    date: 2023-12-03 07:56:48.0 +01:00
  }
  +__isInitialized__: true
   …2
}
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12 DENIED moderate
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1718
  +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2280 …}
  +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1720 …}
  +image: null
  +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2213 …}
  +slug: "If-many-extraterrestrial-civilizations-were-nearby-but-trying-to-keep"
  +title: "If many extraterrestrial civilizations were nearby but trying to keep quiet, how would you suggest drawing them out?"
  +url: null
  +body: """
    What do you think would finally be their, “Enough, we *gotta* say something!” situation?\n
    \n
    **Edit:**  \n
    Put another way, what might serve as a cosmic icebreaker?
    """
  +type: "article"
  +lang: "en"
  +isOc: false
  +hasEmbed: false
  +commentCount: 67
  +favouriteCount: 109
  +score: 0
  +isAdult: false
  +sticky: false
  +lastActive: DateTime @1701900872 {#2290
    date: 2023-12-06 23:14:32.0 +01:00
  }
  +ip: null
  +adaAmount: 0
  +tags: null
  +mentions: null
  +comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2282 …}
  +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2221 …}
  +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2217 …}
  +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2199 …}
  +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2195 …}
  +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2197 …}
  +children: [
    2 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1714
      +user: App\Entity\User {#264 …}
      +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1718 …2}
      +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1720 …}
      +image: null
      +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1716 …}
      +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1716 …}
      +body: "The oppressive existential threat you reference doesn't need to exist for the universe to be a dark forest universe. It's enough for every sufficiently advanced civilization to realize that such a threat *could* exist and remain quiet and hidden just in case."
      +lang: "en"
      +isAdult: false
      +favouriteCount: 14
      +score: 0
      +lastActive: DateTime @1701590717 {#1719
        date: 2023-12-03 09:05:17.0 +01:00
      }
      +ip: null
      +tags: null
      +mentions: [
        "@ALostInquirer@lemm.ee"
        "@Excrubulent@slrpnk.net"
      ]
      +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1717 …}
      +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1741 …}
      +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1707 …}
      +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2464 …}
      +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2448 …}
      +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2447 …}
      -id: 191389
      -bodyTs: "'advanc':27 'case':44 'civil':28 'could':35 'dark':18 'doesn':7 'enough':23 'everi':25 'exist':11,36 'existenti':3 'forest':19 'hidden':41 'need':9 'oppress':2 'quiet':39 'realiz':30 'refer':6 'remain':38 'suffici':26 'threat':4,34 'univers':14,20"
      +ranking: 0
      +commentCount: 0
      +upVotes: 0
      +downVotes: 0
      +visibility: "visible             "
      +apId: "https://kbin.social/m/asklemmy@lemmy.world/t/675067/-/comment/3911978"
      +editedAt: null
      +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701590717 {#1715
        date: 2023-12-03 09:05:17.0 +01:00
      }
      +"title": 191389
    }
    1 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#2461
      +user: App\Entity\User {#264 …}
      +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1718 …2}
      +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1720 …}
      +image: null
      +parent: null
      +root: null
      +body: "Humans have shown time and time again in their history that they are expansionist, imperialistic assholes. For aliens to be spooked, we only need to show that tendency on a cosmic scale. If we start sending out probes or even manned missions to far away places that are barely likely to support life, we will instantly label ourselves as greedy conquerors. As soon as a colony of ours starts sending out new missions to create even more colonies, that's when all civilizations, even the less advanced, realize that we're the first stage of a cosmic cancer that must be nipped in the bud at all costs."
      +lang: "en"
      +isAdult: false
      +favouriteCount: 2
      +score: 0
      +lastActive: DateTime @1701591229 {#2462
        date: 2023-12-03 09:13:49.0 +01:00
      }
      +ip: null
      +tags: null
      +mentions: [
        "@ALostInquirer@lemm.ee"
      ]
      +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2456 …}
      +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2453 …}
      +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2457 …}
      +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2455 …}
      +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2468 …}
      +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2469 …}
      -id: 191404
      -bodyTs: "'advanc':87 'alien':18 'asshol':16 'away':45 'bare':49 'bud':105 'cancer':98 'civil':83 'coloni':66,78 'conqueror':61 'cosmic':31,97 'cost':108 'creat':75 'even':40,76,84 'expansionist':14 'far':44 'first':93 'greedi':60 'histori':10 'human':1 'imperialist':15 'instant':56 'label':57 'less':86 'life':53 'like':50 'man':41 'mission':42,73 'must':100 'need':24 'new':72 'nip':102 'place':46 'probe':38 're':91 'realiz':88 'scale':32 'send':36,70 'show':26 'shown':3 'soon':63 'spook':21 'stage':94 'start':35,69 'support':52 'tendenc':28 'time':4,6"
      +ranking: 0
      +commentCount: 0
      +upVotes: 0
      +downVotes: 0
      +visibility: "visible             "
      +apId: "https://kbin.social/m/asklemmy@lemmy.world/t/675067/-/comment/3912046"
      +editedAt: null
      +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701591229 {#2458
        date: 2023-12-03 09:13:49.0 +01:00
      }
      +"title": 191404
    }
    0 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#2363
      +user: App\Entity\User {#264 …}
      +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1718 …2}
      +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1720 …}
      +image: null
      +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#2370 …}
      +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1716 …}
      +body: """
        I do agree with your probability assessment; I too think that the Prime Directive is a more plausible answer to the Fermi paradox, as is “we're just alone”.\n
        \n
        However, it is not necessarily the case that everyone suddenly gets talking as soon as one of them breaks radio silence. If everyone is silent because of a perceived possible threat, then it stands to reason they will continue to be silent even when they receive a message.
        """
      +lang: "en"
      +isAdult: false
      +favouriteCount: 3
      +score: 0
      +lastActive: DateTime @1701593342 {#2471
        date: 2023-12-03 09:49:02.0 +01:00
      }
      +ip: null
      +tags: null
      +mentions: [
        "@ALostInquirer@lemm.ee"
        "@Excrubulent@slrpnk.net"
        "@Timwi@kbin.social"
      ]
      +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2377 …}
      +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2359 …}
      +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2364 …}
      +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2380 …}
      +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2382 …}
      +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2384 …}
      -id: 191477
      -bodyTs: "'agre':3 'alon':29 'answer':19 'assess':7 'break':48 'case':36 'continu':68 'direct':14 'even':72 'everyon':38,52 'fermi':22 'get':40 'howev':30 'messag':77 'necessarili':34 'one':45 'paradox':23 'perceiv':58 'plausibl':18 'possibl':59 'prime':13 'probabl':6 'radio':49 're':27 'reason':65 'receiv':75 'silenc':50 'silent':54,71 'soon':43 'stand':63 'sudden':39 'talk':41 'think':10 'threat':60"
      +ranking: 0
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      +upVotes: 0
      +downVotes: 0
      +visibility: "visible             "
      +apId: "https://kbin.social/m/asklemmy@lemmy.world/t/675067/-/comment/3912364"
      +editedAt: null
      +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701593342 {#2371
        date: 2023-12-03 09:49:02.0 +01:00
      }
      +"title": 191477
    }
  ]
  -id: 19683
  -titleTs: "'civil':4 'draw':16 'extraterrestri':3 'keep':10 'mani':2 'nearbi':6 'quiet':11 'suggest':15 'tri':8 'would':13"
  -bodyTs: "'anoth':17 'cosmic':24 'edit':15 'enough':9 'final':6 'gotta':11 'icebreak':25 'might':20 'put':16 'say':12 'serv':21 'situat':14 'someth':13 'think':4 'way':18 'would':5"
  +cross: false
  +upVotes: 0
  +downVotes: 0
  +ranking: 1701673008
  +visibility: "visible             "
  +apId: "https://lemm.ee/post/16760422"
  +editedAt: DateTimeImmutable @1702765008 {#2106
    date: 2023-12-16 23:16:48.0 +01:00
  }
  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701586608 {#2347
    date: 2023-12-03 07:56:48.0 +01:00
  }
  +__isInitialized__: true
   …2
}
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13 DENIED ROLE_USER
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14 DENIED moderate
App\Entity\EntryComment {#1714
  +user: App\Entity\User {#264 …}
  +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1718
    +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2280 …}
    +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1720 …}
    +image: null
    +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2213 …}
    +slug: "If-many-extraterrestrial-civilizations-were-nearby-but-trying-to-keep"
    +title: "If many extraterrestrial civilizations were nearby but trying to keep quiet, how would you suggest drawing them out?"
    +url: null
    +body: """
      What do you think would finally be their, “Enough, we *gotta* say something!” situation?\n
      \n
      **Edit:**  \n
      Put another way, what might serve as a cosmic icebreaker?
      """
    +type: "article"
    +lang: "en"
    +isOc: false
    +hasEmbed: false
    +commentCount: 67
    +favouriteCount: 109
    +score: 0
    +isAdult: false
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      date: 2023-12-06 23:14:32.0 +01:00
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    +ip: null
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    +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2199 …}
    +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2195 …}
    +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2197 …}
    +children: [
      2 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1714}
      1 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#2461
        +user: App\Entity\User {#264 …}
        +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1718 …2}
        +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1720 …}
        +image: null
        +parent: null
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          I do agree with your probability assessment; I too think that the Prime Directive is a more plausible answer to the Fermi paradox, as is “we're just alone”.\n
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      What do you think would finally be their, “Enough, we *gotta* say something!” situation?\n
      \n
      **Edit:**  \n
      Put another way, what might serve as a cosmic icebreaker?
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        +body: "Humans have shown time and time again in their history that they are expansionist, imperialistic assholes. For aliens to be spooked, we only need to show that tendency on a cosmic scale. If we start sending out probes or even manned missions to far away places that are barely likely to support life, we will instantly label ourselves as greedy conquerors. As soon as a colony of ours starts sending out new missions to create even more colonies, that's when all civilizations, even the less advanced, realize that we're the first stage of a cosmic cancer that must be nipped in the bud at all costs."
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          I do agree with your probability assessment; I too think that the Prime Directive is a more plausible answer to the Fermi paradox, as is “we're just alone”.\n
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      What do you think would finally be their, “Enough, we *gotta* say something!” situation?\n
      \n
      **Edit:**  \n
      Put another way, what might serve as a cosmic icebreaker?
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          I do agree with your probability assessment; I too think that the Prime Directive is a more plausible answer to the Fermi paradox, as is “we're just alone”.\n
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  +body: "The oppressive existential threat you reference doesn't need to exist for the universe to be a dark forest universe. It's enough for every sufficiently advanced civilization to realize that such a threat *could* exist and remain quiet and hidden just in case."
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}
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      **Edit:**  \n
      Put another way, what might serve as a cosmic icebreaker?
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        +body: "The oppressive existential threat you reference doesn't need to exist for the universe to be a dark forest universe. It's enough for every sufficiently advanced civilization to realize that such a threat *could* exist and remain quiet and hidden just in case."
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          I do agree with your probability assessment; I too think that the Prime Directive is a more plausible answer to the Fermi paradox, as is “we're just alone”.\n
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     …2
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  +body: "Humans have shown time and time again in their history that they are expansionist, imperialistic assholes. For aliens to be spooked, we only need to show that tendency on a cosmic scale. If we start sending out probes or even manned missions to far away places that are barely likely to support life, we will instantly label ourselves as greedy conquerors. As soon as a colony of ours starts sending out new missions to create even more colonies, that's when all civilizations, even the less advanced, realize that we're the first stage of a cosmic cancer that must be nipped in the bud at all costs."
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      What do you think would finally be their, “Enough, we *gotta* say something!” situation?\n
      \n
      **Edit:**  \n
      Put another way, what might serve as a cosmic icebreaker?
      """
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        +body: "The oppressive existential threat you reference doesn't need to exist for the universe to be a dark forest universe. It's enough for every sufficiently advanced civilization to realize that such a threat *could* exist and remain quiet and hidden just in case."
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          I do agree with your probability assessment; I too think that the Prime Directive is a more plausible answer to the Fermi paradox, as is “we're just alone”.\n
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     …2
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  -id: 191404
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  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701591229 {#2458
    date: 2023-12-03 09:13:49.0 +01:00
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  +"title": 191404
}
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20 DENIED moderate
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2461
  +user: App\Entity\User {#264 …}
  +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1718
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    +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1720 …}
    +image: null
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    +slug: "If-many-extraterrestrial-civilizations-were-nearby-but-trying-to-keep"
    +title: "If many extraterrestrial civilizations were nearby but trying to keep quiet, how would you suggest drawing them out?"
    +url: null
    +body: """
      What do you think would finally be their, “Enough, we *gotta* say something!” situation?\n
      \n
      **Edit:**  \n
      Put another way, what might serve as a cosmic icebreaker?
      """
    +type: "article"
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      2 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1714
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        +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1716 …}
        +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1716 …}
        +body: "The oppressive existential threat you reference doesn't need to exist for the universe to be a dark forest universe. It's enough for every sufficiently advanced civilization to realize that such a threat *could* exist and remain quiet and hidden just in case."
        +lang: "en"
        +isAdult: false
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        -id: 191389
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          date: 2023-12-03 09:05:17.0 +01:00
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        +"title": 191389
      }
      1 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#2461}
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        +image: null
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        +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1716 …}
        +body: """
          I do agree with your probability assessment; I too think that the Prime Directive is a more plausible answer to the Fermi paradox, as is “we're just alone”.\n
          \n
          However, it is not necessarily the case that everyone suddenly gets talking as soon as one of them breaks radio silence. If everyone is silent because of a perceived possible threat, then it stands to reason they will continue to be silent even when they receive a message.
          """
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          "@Excrubulent@slrpnk.net"
          "@Timwi@kbin.social"
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        -id: 191477
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          date: 2023-12-03 09:49:02.0 +01:00
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        +"title": 191477
      }
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    -id: 19683
    -titleTs: "'civil':4 'draw':16 'extraterrestri':3 'keep':10 'mani':2 'nearbi':6 'quiet':11 'suggest':15 'tri':8 'would':13"
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      date: 2023-12-03 07:56:48.0 +01:00
    }
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     …2
  }
  +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1720 …}
  +image: null
  +parent: null
  +root: null
  +body: "Humans have shown time and time again in their history that they are expansionist, imperialistic assholes. For aliens to be spooked, we only need to show that tendency on a cosmic scale. If we start sending out probes or even manned missions to far away places that are barely likely to support life, we will instantly label ourselves as greedy conquerors. As soon as a colony of ours starts sending out new missions to create even more colonies, that's when all civilizations, even the less advanced, realize that we're the first stage of a cosmic cancer that must be nipped in the bud at all costs."
  +lang: "en"
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  -id: 191404
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  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701591229 {#2458
    date: 2023-12-03 09:13:49.0 +01:00
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  +"title": 191404
}
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22 DENIED moderate
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2363
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    +url: null
    +body: """
      What do you think would finally be their, “Enough, we *gotta* say something!” situation?\n
      \n
      **Edit:**  \n
      Put another way, what might serve as a cosmic icebreaker?
      """
    +type: "article"
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    +children: [
      2 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1714
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        +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1718 …2}
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        +image: null
        +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1716 …}
        +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1716 …}
        +body: "The oppressive existential threat you reference doesn't need to exist for the universe to be a dark forest universe. It's enough for every sufficiently advanced civilization to realize that such a threat *could* exist and remain quiet and hidden just in case."
        +lang: "en"
        +isAdult: false
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        -id: 191389
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          date: 2023-12-03 09:05:17.0 +01:00
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        +"title": 191389
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        +image: null
        +parent: null
        +root: null
        +body: "Humans have shown time and time again in their history that they are expansionist, imperialistic assholes. For aliens to be spooked, we only need to show that tendency on a cosmic scale. If we start sending out probes or even manned missions to far away places that are barely likely to support life, we will instantly label ourselves as greedy conquerors. As soon as a colony of ours starts sending out new missions to create even more colonies, that's when all civilizations, even the less advanced, realize that we're the first stage of a cosmic cancer that must be nipped in the bud at all costs."
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        -id: 191404
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          date: 2023-12-03 09:13:49.0 +01:00
        }
        +"title": 191404
      }
      0 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#2363}
    ]
    -id: 19683
    -titleTs: "'civil':4 'draw':16 'extraterrestri':3 'keep':10 'mani':2 'nearbi':6 'quiet':11 'suggest':15 'tri':8 'would':13"
    -bodyTs: "'anoth':17 'cosmic':24 'edit':15 'enough':9 'final':6 'gotta':11 'icebreak':25 'might':20 'put':16 'say':12 'serv':21 'situat':14 'someth':13 'think':4 'way':18 'would':5"
    +cross: false
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    +ranking: 1701673008
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    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701586608 {#2347
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    +__isInitialized__: true
     …2
  }
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  +body: """
    I do agree with your probability assessment; I too think that the Prime Directive is a more plausible answer to the Fermi paradox, as is “we're just alone”.\n
    \n
    However, it is not necessarily the case that everyone suddenly gets talking as soon as one of them breaks radio silence. If everyone is silent because of a perceived possible threat, then it stands to reason they will continue to be silent even when they receive a message.
    """
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    "@Timwi@kbin.social"
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  -id: 191477
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}
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    +slug: "If-many-extraterrestrial-civilizations-were-nearby-but-trying-to-keep"
    +title: "If many extraterrestrial civilizations were nearby but trying to keep quiet, how would you suggest drawing them out?"
    +url: null
    +body: """
      What do you think would finally be their, “Enough, we *gotta* say something!” situation?\n
      \n
      **Edit:**  \n
      Put another way, what might serve as a cosmic icebreaker?
      """
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    +children: [
      2 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#1714
        +user: App\Entity\User {#264 …}
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        +image: null
        +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1716 …}
        +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1716 …}
        +body: "The oppressive existential threat you reference doesn't need to exist for the universe to be a dark forest universe. It's enough for every sufficiently advanced civilization to realize that such a threat *could* exist and remain quiet and hidden just in case."
        +lang: "en"
        +isAdult: false
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          "@Excrubulent@slrpnk.net"
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          date: 2023-12-03 09:05:17.0 +01:00
        }
        +"title": 191389
      }
      1 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#2461
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        +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1720 …}
        +image: null
        +parent: null
        +root: null
        +body: "Humans have shown time and time again in their history that they are expansionist, imperialistic assholes. For aliens to be spooked, we only need to show that tendency on a cosmic scale. If we start sending out probes or even manned missions to far away places that are barely likely to support life, we will instantly label ourselves as greedy conquerors. As soon as a colony of ours starts sending out new missions to create even more colonies, that's when all civilizations, even the less advanced, realize that we're the first stage of a cosmic cancer that must be nipped in the bud at all costs."
        +lang: "en"
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          date: 2023-12-03 09:13:49.0 +01:00
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          "@ALostInquirer@lemm.ee"
        ]
        +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2456 …}
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        -id: 191404
        -bodyTs: "'advanc':87 'alien':18 'asshol':16 'away':45 'bare':49 'bud':105 'cancer':98 'civil':83 'coloni':66,78 'conqueror':61 'cosmic':31,97 'cost':108 'creat':75 'even':40,76,84 'expansionist':14 'far':44 'first':93 'greedi':60 'histori':10 'human':1 'imperialist':15 'instant':56 'label':57 'less':86 'life':53 'like':50 'man':41 'mission':42,73 'must':100 'need':24 'new':72 'nip':102 'place':46 'probe':38 're':91 'realiz':88 'scale':32 'send':36,70 'show':26 'shown':3 'soon':63 'spook':21 'stage':94 'start':35,69 'support':52 'tendenc':28 'time':4,6"
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          date: 2023-12-03 09:13:49.0 +01:00
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        +"title": 191404
      }
      0 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#2363}
    ]
    -id: 19683
    -titleTs: "'civil':4 'draw':16 'extraterrestri':3 'keep':10 'mani':2 'nearbi':6 'quiet':11 'suggest':15 'tri':8 'would':13"
    -bodyTs: "'anoth':17 'cosmic':24 'edit':15 'enough':9 'final':6 'gotta':11 'icebreak':25 'might':20 'put':16 'say':12 'serv':21 'situat':14 'someth':13 'think':4 'way':18 'would':5"
    +cross: false
    +upVotes: 0
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    +ranking: 1701673008
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      date: 2023-12-16 23:16:48.0 +01:00
    }
    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701586608 {#2347
      date: 2023-12-03 07:56:48.0 +01:00
    }
    +__isInitialized__: true
     …2
  }
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  +image: null
  +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#2370 …}
  +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1716 …}
  +body: """
    I do agree with your probability assessment; I too think that the Prime Directive is a more plausible answer to the Fermi paradox, as is “we're just alone”.\n
    \n
    However, it is not necessarily the case that everyone suddenly gets talking as soon as one of them breaks radio silence. If everyone is silent because of a perceived possible threat, then it stands to reason they will continue to be silent even when they receive a message.
    """
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    "@Excrubulent@slrpnk.net"
    "@Timwi@kbin.social"
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  -id: 191477
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  +ranking: 0
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  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1701593342 {#2371
    date: 2023-12-03 09:49:02.0 +01:00
  }
  +"title": 191477
}
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24 DENIED moderate
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2363
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    +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1720 …}
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    +title: "If many extraterrestrial civilizations were nearby but trying to keep quiet, how would you suggest drawing them out?"
    +url: null
    +body: """
      What do you think would finally be their, “Enough, we *gotta* say something!” situation?\n
      \n
      **Edit:**  \n
      Put another way, what might serve as a cosmic icebreaker?
      """
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        +body: "The oppressive existential threat you reference doesn't need to exist for the universe to be a dark forest universe. It's enough for every sufficiently advanced civilization to realize that such a threat *could* exist and remain quiet and hidden just in case."
        +lang: "en"
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        +"title": 191389
      }
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        +image: null
        +parent: null
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        +body: "Humans have shown time and time again in their history that they are expansionist, imperialistic assholes. For aliens to be spooked, we only need to show that tendency on a cosmic scale. If we start sending out probes or even manned missions to far away places that are barely likely to support life, we will instantly label ourselves as greedy conquerors. As soon as a colony of ours starts sending out new missions to create even more colonies, that's when all civilizations, even the less advanced, realize that we're the first stage of a cosmic cancer that must be nipped in the bud at all costs."
        +lang: "en"
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      }
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    -id: 19683
    -titleTs: "'civil':4 'draw':16 'extraterrestri':3 'keep':10 'mani':2 'nearbi':6 'quiet':11 'suggest':15 'tri':8 'would':13"
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     …2
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  +body: """
    I do agree with your probability assessment; I too think that the Prime Directive is a more plausible answer to the Fermi paradox, as is “we're just alone”.\n
    \n
    However, it is not necessarily the case that everyone suddenly gets talking as soon as one of them breaks radio silence. If everyone is silent because of a perceived possible threat, then it stands to reason they will continue to be silent even when they receive a message.
    """
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}
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26 DENIED moderate
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1795
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  +slug: "My-29f-parents-ghosted-me-5-years-ago-after-my"
  +title: "My (29f) parents ghosted me 5 years ago after my wedding and now reached out. What do I do?"
  +url: null
  +body: """
    *This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
    \n
    **I am not OP.**\n
    \n
    Posted by [u/throwramotherwdid](/u/throwramotherwdid) on [r/relationship_advice](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice)\n
    \n
    [**Original**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/qbybwq/my_29f_parents_ghosted_me_5_years_ago_after_my/) *- October 20, 2021*\n
    \n
    TLDR; I’m married to my former boss. Parents did not take the marriage as well as I’d hoped and ignored me for 5 years, only to reach out when they saw a 5th anniversary facebook post that mentioned our kids. Do I let them back in, or do I ignore them?\n
    \n
    My husband (30m) used to be my boss. About 9 years ago I started working as his assistant. We spent about 2.5 years ignoring our mutual attraction until we gave in. We then went to HR, who reassigned me, and the whole thing was strictly above board from the time we began dating. I got pregnant about a year later, and my husband and I decided to just get married. While we’d only really been dating for about 1.5 years, we knew each other completely, loved each other, lived together, and there was a baby on the way. We knew how it would look, but I had to leave the company anyway due to problems with my new boss, so we didn’t anticipate this causing any issues, except with my parents.\n
    \n
    They (62m/57f) have always been overprotective, so I knew they wouldn’t like me dating my boss, and hadn’t told them, but I had to tell them if I wanted them at my wedding. We decided to be mostly honest with them, about how it was strictly professional until it wasn’t, how the second it got unprofessional we went to HR, how he had never taken advantage of me, but now we wanted to get married and we wanted them there. We did not mention the baby, because I felt that giving them that information in addition to the rest all at once would just break them. I was only about 4 months along when the wedding happened, so the bump was easily hidden by a flowy dress.\n
    \n
    The wedding itself went off without a hitch, and apart from my mother pulling me into the bathroom shortly before the ceremony to ask if I was sure about this, which I said I was, my parents seemed to take it well. The ceremony and reception were at 2 different venues, and we had to travel from one to the other, and my parents never arrived at the reception. I called them and got ignored, and then my brother called them and they told him that they were going home. I don’t remember the exact reason they gave but it amounted to them being tired and uncomfortable. I tried contacting them after the wedding, but found that I was blocked on everything except email, which I used to send them a long letter essentially saying that I’m an adult who made an adult choice and I hope they can respect that.\n
    \n
    5 years later, I have not heard from my parents since my wedding. My husband and I are not big on social media in general but I recently posted something for our 5th anniversary in which I mentioned our 2 kids and third on the way. Within a month of making this post, my parents left a voicemail saying they saw the post, and, having had no idea that they had grandchildren previously, now want to meet them. I haven’t responded and there have been a few follow ups since then asking why I haven’t.\n
    \n
    I don’t know what to do, but my gut instinct is that 5 years is too long, and it’s about the kids, not about them respecting my choices or relationship. However, I can’t help but feel that I’m being unfair, and my brother agrees, because I told them in my email that if they could learn to respect my choice and my marriage eventually, then we could talk, and now I’m retroactively applying a time limit.\n
    \n
    Edit: can’t find a way to work this in organically but my husband is not white. I am, as are my parents. I don’t think this is a race thing or that my parents are racist, and neither does my husband, and we don’t understand why they would want to meet our mixed race children if they were racist, but this element is still gnawing at me.\n
    \n
    Should I reach out to them? If I did, how would we go about rebuilding the relationship?\n
    \n
    [**Update**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/qdfsx0/update_i_29f_spoke_to_my_parents_who_ghosted_me_5/) *- October 22, 2021*\n
    \n
    TLDR; They’re racists.\n
    \n
    I asked to talk yesterday. We were on zoom within an hour. It was my parents and me and my husband. They asked to see the kids, and I said they could see them eventually, dependant on them earning our trust and convincing us they were going to be positive additions to the kids’ lives.\n
    \n
    They asked to start by reading me a letter that they claimed to have written on my wedding day. It said that they were uncomfortable with me marrying my former boss as they thought he took advantage of me, so they left between the wedding and reception to avoid a scene, but they wanted me to know they were here for me despite their issues with him. They added that they would have sent this to me the morning after my wedding, but then I sent my email about them needing to respect my choices, and they were so ashamed they couldn’t bring themselves to send theirs. Seeing my anniversary post made them realise how much they’ve missed in 5 years and they really don’t want to miss any more.\n
    \n
    I had some questions, like what the big deal was with me marrying my former boss, and they said that it just wasn’t what they had in mind for my wedding day and my future spouse. I asked why they even came to the wedding at all if they didn’t support the marriage, and my dad responded that he wanted to walk his daughter down the aisle as it was the only chance he’d get. The way it was phrased implied that they had intentionally only come to the wedding so he could give me away, and always planned to leave halfway, and because he said “my daughter”, and didn’t talk to me directly, it was pretty clear he was thinking about my older sister, who passed away. My husband caught that, too, and said that if they were talking about me, they should address me directly, then added that if they had planned to leave they should have told us as we wouldn’t have invited them, and the fact they waited 5 years to reach out was going to take more reasons than shame as, as a father, he didn’t understand how they could ignore their daughter for years, or only get back in touch when we had kids.\n
    \n
    My dad snapped that he wasn’t going to take this from a “cushi”, a slur meaning dark skinned. My mother immediately tried to run damage control but I ended the call. They have since messaged me several times trying to explain that calling my husband a racial slur wasn’t indicative of a racist attitude, and he wouldn’t have said that in front of the kids, so they should still get to meet them.\n
    \n
    I’ve spent 5 years wondering how they were so offended by me marrying my boss that it earned no contact for half a decade. Turns out they’re just racist. It’s almost nice to find out. If it was just the boss thing I would have sympathy for them and we might even be able to reconcile, but with this, it’s now just a question of if I’m going to knowingly expose my mixed race children to a couple of racists, which I am obviously not going to do.\n
    \n
    *Disclaimer*\n
    \n
    *This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
    \n
    Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/y8z737/my_29f_parents_ghosted_me_5_years_ago_after_my/)
    """
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      +body: "They did hear what they had to say. What they had to say turned out to be a racist slur. I don't know what else you need."
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      +body: "I was just responding to your last sentence, *“maybe at least hear what they have to say”*, and pointed out that they already did that and the results are already in the original post. By saying “I don't know what else you need” I was implying that this is probably enough to judge their character and make a decision on how to move forward with one's relationship with them. To never talk to your parents again, ever, is a legitimate decision to make after considering these variables, and it's not our place to force the author to constantly second-guess that decision."
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  +title: "My (29f) parents ghosted me 5 years ago after my wedding and now reached out. What do I do?"
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  +body: """
    *This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
    \n
    **I am not OP.**\n
    \n
    Posted by [u/throwramotherwdid](/u/throwramotherwdid) on [r/relationship_advice](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice)\n
    \n
    [**Original**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/qbybwq/my_29f_parents_ghosted_me_5_years_ago_after_my/) *- October 20, 2021*\n
    \n
    TLDR; I’m married to my former boss. Parents did not take the marriage as well as I’d hoped and ignored me for 5 years, only to reach out when they saw a 5th anniversary facebook post that mentioned our kids. Do I let them back in, or do I ignore them?\n
    \n
    My husband (30m) used to be my boss. About 9 years ago I started working as his assistant. We spent about 2.5 years ignoring our mutual attraction until we gave in. We then went to HR, who reassigned me, and the whole thing was strictly above board from the time we began dating. I got pregnant about a year later, and my husband and I decided to just get married. While we’d only really been dating for about 1.5 years, we knew each other completely, loved each other, lived together, and there was a baby on the way. We knew how it would look, but I had to leave the company anyway due to problems with my new boss, so we didn’t anticipate this causing any issues, except with my parents.\n
    \n
    They (62m/57f) have always been overprotective, so I knew they wouldn’t like me dating my boss, and hadn’t told them, but I had to tell them if I wanted them at my wedding. We decided to be mostly honest with them, about how it was strictly professional until it wasn’t, how the second it got unprofessional we went to HR, how he had never taken advantage of me, but now we wanted to get married and we wanted them there. We did not mention the baby, because I felt that giving them that information in addition to the rest all at once would just break them. I was only about 4 months along when the wedding happened, so the bump was easily hidden by a flowy dress.\n
    \n
    The wedding itself went off without a hitch, and apart from my mother pulling me into the bathroom shortly before the ceremony to ask if I was sure about this, which I said I was, my parents seemed to take it well. The ceremony and reception were at 2 different venues, and we had to travel from one to the other, and my parents never arrived at the reception. I called them and got ignored, and then my brother called them and they told him that they were going home. I don’t remember the exact reason they gave but it amounted to them being tired and uncomfortable. I tried contacting them after the wedding, but found that I was blocked on everything except email, which I used to send them a long letter essentially saying that I’m an adult who made an adult choice and I hope they can respect that.\n
    \n
    5 years later, I have not heard from my parents since my wedding. My husband and I are not big on social media in general but I recently posted something for our 5th anniversary in which I mentioned our 2 kids and third on the way. Within a month of making this post, my parents left a voicemail saying they saw the post, and, having had no idea that they had grandchildren previously, now want to meet them. I haven’t responded and there have been a few follow ups since then asking why I haven’t.\n
    \n
    I don’t know what to do, but my gut instinct is that 5 years is too long, and it’s about the kids, not about them respecting my choices or relationship. However, I can’t help but feel that I’m being unfair, and my brother agrees, because I told them in my email that if they could learn to respect my choice and my marriage eventually, then we could talk, and now I’m retroactively applying a time limit.\n
    \n
    Edit: can’t find a way to work this in organically but my husband is not white. I am, as are my parents. I don’t think this is a race thing or that my parents are racist, and neither does my husband, and we don’t understand why they would want to meet our mixed race children if they were racist, but this element is still gnawing at me.\n
    \n
    Should I reach out to them? If I did, how would we go about rebuilding the relationship?\n
    \n
    [**Update**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/qdfsx0/update_i_29f_spoke_to_my_parents_who_ghosted_me_5/) *- October 22, 2021*\n
    \n
    TLDR; They’re racists.\n
    \n
    I asked to talk yesterday. We were on zoom within an hour. It was my parents and me and my husband. They asked to see the kids, and I said they could see them eventually, dependant on them earning our trust and convincing us they were going to be positive additions to the kids’ lives.\n
    \n
    They asked to start by reading me a letter that they claimed to have written on my wedding day. It said that they were uncomfortable with me marrying my former boss as they thought he took advantage of me, so they left between the wedding and reception to avoid a scene, but they wanted me to know they were here for me despite their issues with him. They added that they would have sent this to me the morning after my wedding, but then I sent my email about them needing to respect my choices, and they were so ashamed they couldn’t bring themselves to send theirs. Seeing my anniversary post made them realise how much they’ve missed in 5 years and they really don’t want to miss any more.\n
    \n
    I had some questions, like what the big deal was with me marrying my former boss, and they said that it just wasn’t what they had in mind for my wedding day and my future spouse. I asked why they even came to the wedding at all if they didn’t support the marriage, and my dad responded that he wanted to walk his daughter down the aisle as it was the only chance he’d get. The way it was phrased implied that they had intentionally only come to the wedding so he could give me away, and always planned to leave halfway, and because he said “my daughter”, and didn’t talk to me directly, it was pretty clear he was thinking about my older sister, who passed away. My husband caught that, too, and said that if they were talking about me, they should address me directly, then added that if they had planned to leave they should have told us as we wouldn’t have invited them, and the fact they waited 5 years to reach out was going to take more reasons than shame as, as a father, he didn’t understand how they could ignore their daughter for years, or only get back in touch when we had kids.\n
    \n
    My dad snapped that he wasn’t going to take this from a “cushi”, a slur meaning dark skinned. My mother immediately tried to run damage control but I ended the call. They have since messaged me several times trying to explain that calling my husband a racial slur wasn’t indicative of a racist attitude, and he wouldn’t have said that in front of the kids, so they should still get to meet them.\n
    \n
    I’ve spent 5 years wondering how they were so offended by me marrying my boss that it earned no contact for half a decade. Turns out they’re just racist. It’s almost nice to find out. If it was just the boss thing I would have sympathy for them and we might even be able to reconcile, but with this, it’s now just a question of if I’m going to knowingly expose my mixed race children to a couple of racists, which I am obviously not going to do.\n
    \n
    *Disclaimer*\n
    \n
    *This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
    \n
    Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/y8z737/my_29f_parents_ghosted_me_5_years_ago_after_my/)
    """
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      +body: "They did hear what they had to say. What they had to say turned out to be a racist slur. I don't know what else you need."
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      +body: "I was just responding to your last sentence, *“maybe at least hear what they have to say”*, and pointed out that they already did that and the results are already in the original post. By saying “I don't know what else you need” I was implying that this is probably enough to judge their character and make a decision on how to move forward with one's relationship with them. To never talk to your parents again, ever, is a legitimate decision to make after considering these variables, and it's not our place to force the author to constantly second-guess that decision."
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  +title: "My (29f) parents ghosted me 5 years ago after my wedding and now reached out. What do I do?"
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  +body: """
    *This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
    \n
    **I am not OP.**\n
    \n
    Posted by [u/throwramotherwdid](/u/throwramotherwdid) on [r/relationship_advice](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice)\n
    \n
    [**Original**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/qbybwq/my_29f_parents_ghosted_me_5_years_ago_after_my/) *- October 20, 2021*\n
    \n
    TLDR; I’m married to my former boss. Parents did not take the marriage as well as I’d hoped and ignored me for 5 years, only to reach out when they saw a 5th anniversary facebook post that mentioned our kids. Do I let them back in, or do I ignore them?\n
    \n
    My husband (30m) used to be my boss. About 9 years ago I started working as his assistant. We spent about 2.5 years ignoring our mutual attraction until we gave in. We then went to HR, who reassigned me, and the whole thing was strictly above board from the time we began dating. I got pregnant about a year later, and my husband and I decided to just get married. While we’d only really been dating for about 1.5 years, we knew each other completely, loved each other, lived together, and there was a baby on the way. We knew how it would look, but I had to leave the company anyway due to problems with my new boss, so we didn’t anticipate this causing any issues, except with my parents.\n
    \n
    They (62m/57f) have always been overprotective, so I knew they wouldn’t like me dating my boss, and hadn’t told them, but I had to tell them if I wanted them at my wedding. We decided to be mostly honest with them, about how it was strictly professional until it wasn’t, how the second it got unprofessional we went to HR, how he had never taken advantage of me, but now we wanted to get married and we wanted them there. We did not mention the baby, because I felt that giving them that information in addition to the rest all at once would just break them. I was only about 4 months along when the wedding happened, so the bump was easily hidden by a flowy dress.\n
    \n
    The wedding itself went off without a hitch, and apart from my mother pulling me into the bathroom shortly before the ceremony to ask if I was sure about this, which I said I was, my parents seemed to take it well. The ceremony and reception were at 2 different venues, and we had to travel from one to the other, and my parents never arrived at the reception. I called them and got ignored, and then my brother called them and they told him that they were going home. I don’t remember the exact reason they gave but it amounted to them being tired and uncomfortable. I tried contacting them after the wedding, but found that I was blocked on everything except email, which I used to send them a long letter essentially saying that I’m an adult who made an adult choice and I hope they can respect that.\n
    \n
    5 years later, I have not heard from my parents since my wedding. My husband and I are not big on social media in general but I recently posted something for our 5th anniversary in which I mentioned our 2 kids and third on the way. Within a month of making this post, my parents left a voicemail saying they saw the post, and, having had no idea that they had grandchildren previously, now want to meet them. I haven’t responded and there have been a few follow ups since then asking why I haven’t.\n
    \n
    I don’t know what to do, but my gut instinct is that 5 years is too long, and it’s about the kids, not about them respecting my choices or relationship. However, I can’t help but feel that I’m being unfair, and my brother agrees, because I told them in my email that if they could learn to respect my choice and my marriage eventually, then we could talk, and now I’m retroactively applying a time limit.\n
    \n
    Edit: can’t find a way to work this in organically but my husband is not white. I am, as are my parents. I don’t think this is a race thing or that my parents are racist, and neither does my husband, and we don’t understand why they would want to meet our mixed race children if they were racist, but this element is still gnawing at me.\n
    \n
    Should I reach out to them? If I did, how would we go about rebuilding the relationship?\n
    \n
    [**Update**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/qdfsx0/update_i_29f_spoke_to_my_parents_who_ghosted_me_5/) *- October 22, 2021*\n
    \n
    TLDR; They’re racists.\n
    \n
    I asked to talk yesterday. We were on zoom within an hour. It was my parents and me and my husband. They asked to see the kids, and I said they could see them eventually, dependant on them earning our trust and convincing us they were going to be positive additions to the kids’ lives.\n
    \n
    They asked to start by reading me a letter that they claimed to have written on my wedding day. It said that they were uncomfortable with me marrying my former boss as they thought he took advantage of me, so they left between the wedding and reception to avoid a scene, but they wanted me to know they were here for me despite their issues with him. They added that they would have sent this to me the morning after my wedding, but then I sent my email about them needing to respect my choices, and they were so ashamed they couldn’t bring themselves to send theirs. Seeing my anniversary post made them realise how much they’ve missed in 5 years and they really don’t want to miss any more.\n
    \n
    I had some questions, like what the big deal was with me marrying my former boss, and they said that it just wasn’t what they had in mind for my wedding day and my future spouse. I asked why they even came to the wedding at all if they didn’t support the marriage, and my dad responded that he wanted to walk his daughter down the aisle as it was the only chance he’d get. The way it was phrased implied that they had intentionally only come to the wedding so he could give me away, and always planned to leave halfway, and because he said “my daughter”, and didn’t talk to me directly, it was pretty clear he was thinking about my older sister, who passed away. My husband caught that, too, and said that if they were talking about me, they should address me directly, then added that if they had planned to leave they should have told us as we wouldn’t have invited them, and the fact they waited 5 years to reach out was going to take more reasons than shame as, as a father, he didn’t understand how they could ignore their daughter for years, or only get back in touch when we had kids.\n
    \n
    My dad snapped that he wasn’t going to take this from a “cushi”, a slur meaning dark skinned. My mother immediately tried to run damage control but I ended the call. They have since messaged me several times trying to explain that calling my husband a racial slur wasn’t indicative of a racist attitude, and he wouldn’t have said that in front of the kids, so they should still get to meet them.\n
    \n
    I’ve spent 5 years wondering how they were so offended by me marrying my boss that it earned no contact for half a decade. Turns out they’re just racist. It’s almost nice to find out. If it was just the boss thing I would have sympathy for them and we might even be able to reconcile, but with this, it’s now just a question of if I’m going to knowingly expose my mixed race children to a couple of racists, which I am obviously not going to do.\n
    \n
    *Disclaimer*\n
    \n
    *This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
    \n
    Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/y8z737/my_29f_parents_ghosted_me_5_years_ago_after_my/)
    """
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      +body: "I was just responding to your last sentence, *“maybe at least hear what they have to say”*, and pointed out that they already did that and the results are already in the original post. By saying “I don't know what else you need” I was implying that this is probably enough to judge their character and make a decision on how to move forward with one's relationship with them. To never talk to your parents again, ever, is a legitimate decision to make after considering these variables, and it's not our place to force the author to constantly second-guess that decision."
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App\Entity\EntryComment {#1705
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    +slug: "My-29f-parents-ghosted-me-5-years-ago-after-my"
    +title: "My (29f) parents ghosted me 5 years ago after my wedding and now reached out. What do I do?"
    +url: null
    +body: """
      *This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
      \n
      **I am not OP.**\n
      \n
      Posted by [u/throwramotherwdid](/u/throwramotherwdid) on [r/relationship_advice](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice)\n
      \n
      [**Original**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/qbybwq/my_29f_parents_ghosted_me_5_years_ago_after_my/) *- October 20, 2021*\n
      \n
      TLDR; I’m married to my former boss. Parents did not take the marriage as well as I’d hoped and ignored me for 5 years, only to reach out when they saw a 5th anniversary facebook post that mentioned our kids. Do I let them back in, or do I ignore them?\n
      \n
      My husband (30m) used to be my boss. About 9 years ago I started working as his assistant. We spent about 2.5 years ignoring our mutual attraction until we gave in. We then went to HR, who reassigned me, and the whole thing was strictly above board from the time we began dating. I got pregnant about a year later, and my husband and I decided to just get married. While we’d only really been dating for about 1.5 years, we knew each other completely, loved each other, lived together, and there was a baby on the way. We knew how it would look, but I had to leave the company anyway due to problems with my new boss, so we didn’t anticipate this causing any issues, except with my parents.\n
      \n
      They (62m/57f) have always been overprotective, so I knew they wouldn’t like me dating my boss, and hadn’t told them, but I had to tell them if I wanted them at my wedding. We decided to be mostly honest with them, about how it was strictly professional until it wasn’t, how the second it got unprofessional we went to HR, how he had never taken advantage of me, but now we wanted to get married and we wanted them there. We did not mention the baby, because I felt that giving them that information in addition to the rest all at once would just break them. I was only about 4 months along when the wedding happened, so the bump was easily hidden by a flowy dress.\n
      \n
      The wedding itself went off without a hitch, and apart from my mother pulling me into the bathroom shortly before the ceremony to ask if I was sure about this, which I said I was, my parents seemed to take it well. The ceremony and reception were at 2 different venues, and we had to travel from one to the other, and my parents never arrived at the reception. I called them and got ignored, and then my brother called them and they told him that they were going home. I don’t remember the exact reason they gave but it amounted to them being tired and uncomfortable. I tried contacting them after the wedding, but found that I was blocked on everything except email, which I used to send them a long letter essentially saying that I’m an adult who made an adult choice and I hope they can respect that.\n
      \n
      5 years later, I have not heard from my parents since my wedding. My husband and I are not big on social media in general but I recently posted something for our 5th anniversary in which I mentioned our 2 kids and third on the way. Within a month of making this post, my parents left a voicemail saying they saw the post, and, having had no idea that they had grandchildren previously, now want to meet them. I haven’t responded and there have been a few follow ups since then asking why I haven’t.\n
      \n
      I don’t know what to do, but my gut instinct is that 5 years is too long, and it’s about the kids, not about them respecting my choices or relationship. However, I can’t help but feel that I’m being unfair, and my brother agrees, because I told them in my email that if they could learn to respect my choice and my marriage eventually, then we could talk, and now I’m retroactively applying a time limit.\n
      \n
      Edit: can’t find a way to work this in organically but my husband is not white. I am, as are my parents. I don’t think this is a race thing or that my parents are racist, and neither does my husband, and we don’t understand why they would want to meet our mixed race children if they were racist, but this element is still gnawing at me.\n
      \n
      Should I reach out to them? If I did, how would we go about rebuilding the relationship?\n
      \n
      [**Update**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/qdfsx0/update_i_29f_spoke_to_my_parents_who_ghosted_me_5/) *- October 22, 2021*\n
      \n
      TLDR; They’re racists.\n
      \n
      I asked to talk yesterday. We were on zoom within an hour. It was my parents and me and my husband. They asked to see the kids, and I said they could see them eventually, dependant on them earning our trust and convincing us they were going to be positive additions to the kids’ lives.\n
      \n
      They asked to start by reading me a letter that they claimed to have written on my wedding day. It said that they were uncomfortable with me marrying my former boss as they thought he took advantage of me, so they left between the wedding and reception to avoid a scene, but they wanted me to know they were here for me despite their issues with him. They added that they would have sent this to me the morning after my wedding, but then I sent my email about them needing to respect my choices, and they were so ashamed they couldn’t bring themselves to send theirs. Seeing my anniversary post made them realise how much they’ve missed in 5 years and they really don’t want to miss any more.\n
      \n
      I had some questions, like what the big deal was with me marrying my former boss, and they said that it just wasn’t what they had in mind for my wedding day and my future spouse. I asked why they even came to the wedding at all if they didn’t support the marriage, and my dad responded that he wanted to walk his daughter down the aisle as it was the only chance he’d get. The way it was phrased implied that they had intentionally only come to the wedding so he could give me away, and always planned to leave halfway, and because he said “my daughter”, and didn’t talk to me directly, it was pretty clear he was thinking about my older sister, who passed away. My husband caught that, too, and said that if they were talking about me, they should address me directly, then added that if they had planned to leave they should have told us as we wouldn’t have invited them, and the fact they waited 5 years to reach out was going to take more reasons than shame as, as a father, he didn’t understand how they could ignore their daughter for years, or only get back in touch when we had kids.\n
      \n
      My dad snapped that he wasn’t going to take this from a “cushi”, a slur meaning dark skinned. My mother immediately tried to run damage control but I ended the call. They have since messaged me several times trying to explain that calling my husband a racial slur wasn’t indicative of a racist attitude, and he wouldn’t have said that in front of the kids, so they should still get to meet them.\n
      \n
      I’ve spent 5 years wondering how they were so offended by me marrying my boss that it earned no contact for half a decade. Turns out they’re just racist. It’s almost nice to find out. If it was just the boss thing I would have sympathy for them and we might even be able to reconcile, but with this, it’s now just a question of if I’m going to knowingly expose my mixed race children to a couple of racists, which I am obviously not going to do.\n
      \n
      *Disclaimer*\n
      \n
      *This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
      \n
      Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/y8z737/my_29f_parents_ghosted_me_5_years_ago_after_my/)
      """
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        +body: "I was just responding to your last sentence, *“maybe at least hear what they have to say”*, and pointed out that they already did that and the results are already in the original post. By saying “I don't know what else you need” I was implying that this is probably enough to judge their character and make a decision on how to move forward with one's relationship with them. To never talk to your parents again, ever, is a legitimate decision to make after considering these variables, and it's not our place to force the author to constantly second-guess that decision."
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    +slug: "My-29f-parents-ghosted-me-5-years-ago-after-my"
    +title: "My (29f) parents ghosted me 5 years ago after my wedding and now reached out. What do I do?"
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    +body: """
      *This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
      \n
      **I am not OP.**\n
      \n
      Posted by [u/throwramotherwdid](/u/throwramotherwdid) on [r/relationship_advice](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice)\n
      \n
      [**Original**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/qbybwq/my_29f_parents_ghosted_me_5_years_ago_after_my/) *- October 20, 2021*\n
      \n
      TLDR; I’m married to my former boss. Parents did not take the marriage as well as I’d hoped and ignored me for 5 years, only to reach out when they saw a 5th anniversary facebook post that mentioned our kids. Do I let them back in, or do I ignore them?\n
      \n
      My husband (30m) used to be my boss. About 9 years ago I started working as his assistant. We spent about 2.5 years ignoring our mutual attraction until we gave in. We then went to HR, who reassigned me, and the whole thing was strictly above board from the time we began dating. I got pregnant about a year later, and my husband and I decided to just get married. While we’d only really been dating for about 1.5 years, we knew each other completely, loved each other, lived together, and there was a baby on the way. We knew how it would look, but I had to leave the company anyway due to problems with my new boss, so we didn’t anticipate this causing any issues, except with my parents.\n
      \n
      They (62m/57f) have always been overprotective, so I knew they wouldn’t like me dating my boss, and hadn’t told them, but I had to tell them if I wanted them at my wedding. We decided to be mostly honest with them, about how it was strictly professional until it wasn’t, how the second it got unprofessional we went to HR, how he had never taken advantage of me, but now we wanted to get married and we wanted them there. We did not mention the baby, because I felt that giving them that information in addition to the rest all at once would just break them. I was only about 4 months along when the wedding happened, so the bump was easily hidden by a flowy dress.\n
      \n
      The wedding itself went off without a hitch, and apart from my mother pulling me into the bathroom shortly before the ceremony to ask if I was sure about this, which I said I was, my parents seemed to take it well. The ceremony and reception were at 2 different venues, and we had to travel from one to the other, and my parents never arrived at the reception. I called them and got ignored, and then my brother called them and they told him that they were going home. I don’t remember the exact reason they gave but it amounted to them being tired and uncomfortable. I tried contacting them after the wedding, but found that I was blocked on everything except email, which I used to send them a long letter essentially saying that I’m an adult who made an adult choice and I hope they can respect that.\n
      \n
      5 years later, I have not heard from my parents since my wedding. My husband and I are not big on social media in general but I recently posted something for our 5th anniversary in which I mentioned our 2 kids and third on the way. Within a month of making this post, my parents left a voicemail saying they saw the post, and, having had no idea that they had grandchildren previously, now want to meet them. I haven’t responded and there have been a few follow ups since then asking why I haven’t.\n
      \n
      I don’t know what to do, but my gut instinct is that 5 years is too long, and it’s about the kids, not about them respecting my choices or relationship. However, I can’t help but feel that I’m being unfair, and my brother agrees, because I told them in my email that if they could learn to respect my choice and my marriage eventually, then we could talk, and now I’m retroactively applying a time limit.\n
      \n
      Edit: can’t find a way to work this in organically but my husband is not white. I am, as are my parents. I don’t think this is a race thing or that my parents are racist, and neither does my husband, and we don’t understand why they would want to meet our mixed race children if they were racist, but this element is still gnawing at me.\n
      \n
      Should I reach out to them? If I did, how would we go about rebuilding the relationship?\n
      \n
      [**Update**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/qdfsx0/update_i_29f_spoke_to_my_parents_who_ghosted_me_5/) *- October 22, 2021*\n
      \n
      TLDR; They’re racists.\n
      \n
      I asked to talk yesterday. We were on zoom within an hour. It was my parents and me and my husband. They asked to see the kids, and I said they could see them eventually, dependant on them earning our trust and convincing us they were going to be positive additions to the kids’ lives.\n
      \n
      They asked to start by reading me a letter that they claimed to have written on my wedding day. It said that they were uncomfortable with me marrying my former boss as they thought he took advantage of me, so they left between the wedding and reception to avoid a scene, but they wanted me to know they were here for me despite their issues with him. They added that they would have sent this to me the morning after my wedding, but then I sent my email about them needing to respect my choices, and they were so ashamed they couldn’t bring themselves to send theirs. Seeing my anniversary post made them realise how much they’ve missed in 5 years and they really don’t want to miss any more.\n
      \n
      I had some questions, like what the big deal was with me marrying my former boss, and they said that it just wasn’t what they had in mind for my wedding day and my future spouse. I asked why they even came to the wedding at all if they didn’t support the marriage, and my dad responded that he wanted to walk his daughter down the aisle as it was the only chance he’d get. The way it was phrased implied that they had intentionally only come to the wedding so he could give me away, and always planned to leave halfway, and because he said “my daughter”, and didn’t talk to me directly, it was pretty clear he was thinking about my older sister, who passed away. My husband caught that, too, and said that if they were talking about me, they should address me directly, then added that if they had planned to leave they should have told us as we wouldn’t have invited them, and the fact they waited 5 years to reach out was going to take more reasons than shame as, as a father, he didn’t understand how they could ignore their daughter for years, or only get back in touch when we had kids.\n
      \n
      My dad snapped that he wasn’t going to take this from a “cushi”, a slur meaning dark skinned. My mother immediately tried to run damage control but I ended the call. They have since messaged me several times trying to explain that calling my husband a racial slur wasn’t indicative of a racist attitude, and he wouldn’t have said that in front of the kids, so they should still get to meet them.\n
      \n
      I’ve spent 5 years wondering how they were so offended by me marrying my boss that it earned no contact for half a decade. Turns out they’re just racist. It’s almost nice to find out. If it was just the boss thing I would have sympathy for them and we might even be able to reconcile, but with this, it’s now just a question of if I’m going to knowingly expose my mixed race children to a couple of racists, which I am obviously not going to do.\n
      \n
      *Disclaimer*\n
      \n
      *This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
      \n
      Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/y8z737/my_29f_parents_ghosted_me_5_years_ago_after_my/)
      """
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        +body: "I was just responding to your last sentence, *“maybe at least hear what they have to say”*, and pointed out that they already did that and the results are already in the original post. By saying “I don't know what else you need” I was implying that this is probably enough to judge their character and make a decision on how to move forward with one's relationship with them. To never talk to your parents again, ever, is a legitimate decision to make after considering these variables, and it's not our place to force the author to constantly second-guess that decision."
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    +slug: "My-29f-parents-ghosted-me-5-years-ago-after-my"
    +title: "My (29f) parents ghosted me 5 years ago after my wedding and now reached out. What do I do?"
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    +body: """
      *This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
      \n
      **I am not OP.**\n
      \n
      Posted by [u/throwramotherwdid](/u/throwramotherwdid) on [r/relationship_advice](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice)\n
      \n
      [**Original**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/qbybwq/my_29f_parents_ghosted_me_5_years_ago_after_my/) *- October 20, 2021*\n
      \n
      TLDR; I’m married to my former boss. Parents did not take the marriage as well as I’d hoped and ignored me for 5 years, only to reach out when they saw a 5th anniversary facebook post that mentioned our kids. Do I let them back in, or do I ignore them?\n
      \n
      My husband (30m) used to be my boss. About 9 years ago I started working as his assistant. We spent about 2.5 years ignoring our mutual attraction until we gave in. We then went to HR, who reassigned me, and the whole thing was strictly above board from the time we began dating. I got pregnant about a year later, and my husband and I decided to just get married. While we’d only really been dating for about 1.5 years, we knew each other completely, loved each other, lived together, and there was a baby on the way. We knew how it would look, but I had to leave the company anyway due to problems with my new boss, so we didn’t anticipate this causing any issues, except with my parents.\n
      \n
      They (62m/57f) have always been overprotective, so I knew they wouldn’t like me dating my boss, and hadn’t told them, but I had to tell them if I wanted them at my wedding. We decided to be mostly honest with them, about how it was strictly professional until it wasn’t, how the second it got unprofessional we went to HR, how he had never taken advantage of me, but now we wanted to get married and we wanted them there. We did not mention the baby, because I felt that giving them that information in addition to the rest all at once would just break them. I was only about 4 months along when the wedding happened, so the bump was easily hidden by a flowy dress.\n
      \n
      The wedding itself went off without a hitch, and apart from my mother pulling me into the bathroom shortly before the ceremony to ask if I was sure about this, which I said I was, my parents seemed to take it well. The ceremony and reception were at 2 different venues, and we had to travel from one to the other, and my parents never arrived at the reception. I called them and got ignored, and then my brother called them and they told him that they were going home. I don’t remember the exact reason they gave but it amounted to them being tired and uncomfortable. I tried contacting them after the wedding, but found that I was blocked on everything except email, which I used to send them a long letter essentially saying that I’m an adult who made an adult choice and I hope they can respect that.\n
      \n
      5 years later, I have not heard from my parents since my wedding. My husband and I are not big on social media in general but I recently posted something for our 5th anniversary in which I mentioned our 2 kids and third on the way. Within a month of making this post, my parents left a voicemail saying they saw the post, and, having had no idea that they had grandchildren previously, now want to meet them. I haven’t responded and there have been a few follow ups since then asking why I haven’t.\n
      \n
      I don’t know what to do, but my gut instinct is that 5 years is too long, and it’s about the kids, not about them respecting my choices or relationship. However, I can’t help but feel that I’m being unfair, and my brother agrees, because I told them in my email that if they could learn to respect my choice and my marriage eventually, then we could talk, and now I’m retroactively applying a time limit.\n
      \n
      Edit: can’t find a way to work this in organically but my husband is not white. I am, as are my parents. I don’t think this is a race thing or that my parents are racist, and neither does my husband, and we don’t understand why they would want to meet our mixed race children if they were racist, but this element is still gnawing at me.\n
      \n
      Should I reach out to them? If I did, how would we go about rebuilding the relationship?\n
      \n
      [**Update**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/qdfsx0/update_i_29f_spoke_to_my_parents_who_ghosted_me_5/) *- October 22, 2021*\n
      \n
      TLDR; They’re racists.\n
      \n
      I asked to talk yesterday. We were on zoom within an hour. It was my parents and me and my husband. They asked to see the kids, and I said they could see them eventually, dependant on them earning our trust and convincing us they were going to be positive additions to the kids’ lives.\n
      \n
      They asked to start by reading me a letter that they claimed to have written on my wedding day. It said that they were uncomfortable with me marrying my former boss as they thought he took advantage of me, so they left between the wedding and reception to avoid a scene, but they wanted me to know they were here for me despite their issues with him. They added that they would have sent this to me the morning after my wedding, but then I sent my email about them needing to respect my choices, and they were so ashamed they couldn’t bring themselves to send theirs. Seeing my anniversary post made them realise how much they’ve missed in 5 years and they really don’t want to miss any more.\n
      \n
      I had some questions, like what the big deal was with me marrying my former boss, and they said that it just wasn’t what they had in mind for my wedding day and my future spouse. I asked why they even came to the wedding at all if they didn’t support the marriage, and my dad responded that he wanted to walk his daughter down the aisle as it was the only chance he’d get. The way it was phrased implied that they had intentionally only come to the wedding so he could give me away, and always planned to leave halfway, and because he said “my daughter”, and didn’t talk to me directly, it was pretty clear he was thinking about my older sister, who passed away. My husband caught that, too, and said that if they were talking about me, they should address me directly, then added that if they had planned to leave they should have told us as we wouldn’t have invited them, and the fact they waited 5 years to reach out was going to take more reasons than shame as, as a father, he didn’t understand how they could ignore their daughter for years, or only get back in touch when we had kids.\n
      \n
      My dad snapped that he wasn’t going to take this from a “cushi”, a slur meaning dark skinned. My mother immediately tried to run damage control but I ended the call. They have since messaged me several times trying to explain that calling my husband a racial slur wasn’t indicative of a racist attitude, and he wouldn’t have said that in front of the kids, so they should still get to meet them.\n
      \n
      I’ve spent 5 years wondering how they were so offended by me marrying my boss that it earned no contact for half a decade. Turns out they’re just racist. It’s almost nice to find out. If it was just the boss thing I would have sympathy for them and we might even be able to reconcile, but with this, it’s now just a question of if I’m going to knowingly expose my mixed race children to a couple of racists, which I am obviously not going to do.\n
      \n
      *Disclaimer*\n
      \n
      *This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
      \n
      Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/y8z737/my_29f_parents_ghosted_me_5_years_ago_after_my/)
      """
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        +body: "I was just responding to your last sentence, *“maybe at least hear what they have to say”*, and pointed out that they already did that and the results are already in the original post. By saying “I don't know what else you need” I was implying that this is probably enough to judge their character and make a decision on how to move forward with one's relationship with them. To never talk to your parents again, ever, is a legitimate decision to make after considering these variables, and it's not our place to force the author to constantly second-guess that decision."
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    +title: "My (29f) parents ghosted me 5 years ago after my wedding and now reached out. What do I do?"
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    +body: """
      *This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
      \n
      **I am not OP.**\n
      \n
      Posted by [u/throwramotherwdid](/u/throwramotherwdid) on [r/relationship_advice](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice)\n
      \n
      [**Original**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/qbybwq/my_29f_parents_ghosted_me_5_years_ago_after_my/) *- October 20, 2021*\n
      \n
      TLDR; I’m married to my former boss. Parents did not take the marriage as well as I’d hoped and ignored me for 5 years, only to reach out when they saw a 5th anniversary facebook post that mentioned our kids. Do I let them back in, or do I ignore them?\n
      \n
      My husband (30m) used to be my boss. About 9 years ago I started working as his assistant. We spent about 2.5 years ignoring our mutual attraction until we gave in. We then went to HR, who reassigned me, and the whole thing was strictly above board from the time we began dating. I got pregnant about a year later, and my husband and I decided to just get married. While we’d only really been dating for about 1.5 years, we knew each other completely, loved each other, lived together, and there was a baby on the way. We knew how it would look, but I had to leave the company anyway due to problems with my new boss, so we didn’t anticipate this causing any issues, except with my parents.\n
      \n
      They (62m/57f) have always been overprotective, so I knew they wouldn’t like me dating my boss, and hadn’t told them, but I had to tell them if I wanted them at my wedding. We decided to be mostly honest with them, about how it was strictly professional until it wasn’t, how the second it got unprofessional we went to HR, how he had never taken advantage of me, but now we wanted to get married and we wanted them there. We did not mention the baby, because I felt that giving them that information in addition to the rest all at once would just break them. I was only about 4 months along when the wedding happened, so the bump was easily hidden by a flowy dress.\n
      \n
      The wedding itself went off without a hitch, and apart from my mother pulling me into the bathroom shortly before the ceremony to ask if I was sure about this, which I said I was, my parents seemed to take it well. The ceremony and reception were at 2 different venues, and we had to travel from one to the other, and my parents never arrived at the reception. I called them and got ignored, and then my brother called them and they told him that they were going home. I don’t remember the exact reason they gave but it amounted to them being tired and uncomfortable. I tried contacting them after the wedding, but found that I was blocked on everything except email, which I used to send them a long letter essentially saying that I’m an adult who made an adult choice and I hope they can respect that.\n
      \n
      5 years later, I have not heard from my parents since my wedding. My husband and I are not big on social media in general but I recently posted something for our 5th anniversary in which I mentioned our 2 kids and third on the way. Within a month of making this post, my parents left a voicemail saying they saw the post, and, having had no idea that they had grandchildren previously, now want to meet them. I haven’t responded and there have been a few follow ups since then asking why I haven’t.\n
      \n
      I don’t know what to do, but my gut instinct is that 5 years is too long, and it’s about the kids, not about them respecting my choices or relationship. However, I can’t help but feel that I’m being unfair, and my brother agrees, because I told them in my email that if they could learn to respect my choice and my marriage eventually, then we could talk, and now I’m retroactively applying a time limit.\n
      \n
      Edit: can’t find a way to work this in organically but my husband is not white. I am, as are my parents. I don’t think this is a race thing or that my parents are racist, and neither does my husband, and we don’t understand why they would want to meet our mixed race children if they were racist, but this element is still gnawing at me.\n
      \n
      Should I reach out to them? If I did, how would we go about rebuilding the relationship?\n
      \n
      [**Update**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/qdfsx0/update_i_29f_spoke_to_my_parents_who_ghosted_me_5/) *- October 22, 2021*\n
      \n
      TLDR; They’re racists.\n
      \n
      I asked to talk yesterday. We were on zoom within an hour. It was my parents and me and my husband. They asked to see the kids, and I said they could see them eventually, dependant on them earning our trust and convincing us they were going to be positive additions to the kids’ lives.\n
      \n
      They asked to start by reading me a letter that they claimed to have written on my wedding day. It said that they were uncomfortable with me marrying my former boss as they thought he took advantage of me, so they left between the wedding and reception to avoid a scene, but they wanted me to know they were here for me despite their issues with him. They added that they would have sent this to me the morning after my wedding, but then I sent my email about them needing to respect my choices, and they were so ashamed they couldn’t bring themselves to send theirs. Seeing my anniversary post made them realise how much they’ve missed in 5 years and they really don’t want to miss any more.\n
      \n
      I had some questions, like what the big deal was with me marrying my former boss, and they said that it just wasn’t what they had in mind for my wedding day and my future spouse. I asked why they even came to the wedding at all if they didn’t support the marriage, and my dad responded that he wanted to walk his daughter down the aisle as it was the only chance he’d get. The way it was phrased implied that they had intentionally only come to the wedding so he could give me away, and always planned to leave halfway, and because he said “my daughter”, and didn’t talk to me directly, it was pretty clear he was thinking about my older sister, who passed away. My husband caught that, too, and said that if they were talking about me, they should address me directly, then added that if they had planned to leave they should have told us as we wouldn’t have invited them, and the fact they waited 5 years to reach out was going to take more reasons than shame as, as a father, he didn’t understand how they could ignore their daughter for years, or only get back in touch when we had kids.\n
      \n
      My dad snapped that he wasn’t going to take this from a “cushi”, a slur meaning dark skinned. My mother immediately tried to run damage control but I ended the call. They have since messaged me several times trying to explain that calling my husband a racial slur wasn’t indicative of a racist attitude, and he wouldn’t have said that in front of the kids, so they should still get to meet them.\n
      \n
      I’ve spent 5 years wondering how they were so offended by me marrying my boss that it earned no contact for half a decade. Turns out they’re just racist. It’s almost nice to find out. If it was just the boss thing I would have sympathy for them and we might even be able to reconcile, but with this, it’s now just a question of if I’m going to knowingly expose my mixed race children to a couple of racists, which I am obviously not going to do.\n
      \n
      *Disclaimer*\n
      \n
      *This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
      \n
      Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/y8z737/my_29f_parents_ghosted_me_5_years_ago_after_my/)
      """
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  +body: "I was just responding to your last sentence, *“maybe at least hear what they have to say”*, and pointed out that they already did that and the results are already in the original post. By saying “I don't know what else you need” I was implying that this is probably enough to judge their character and make a decision on how to move forward with one's relationship with them. To never talk to your parents again, ever, is a legitimate decision to make after considering these variables, and it's not our place to force the author to constantly second-guess that decision."
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    +slug: "My-29f-parents-ghosted-me-5-years-ago-after-my"
    +title: "My (29f) parents ghosted me 5 years ago after my wedding and now reached out. What do I do?"
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    +body: """
      *This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
      \n
      **I am not OP.**\n
      \n
      Posted by [u/throwramotherwdid](/u/throwramotherwdid) on [r/relationship_advice](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice)\n
      \n
      [**Original**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/qbybwq/my_29f_parents_ghosted_me_5_years_ago_after_my/) *- October 20, 2021*\n
      \n
      TLDR; I’m married to my former boss. Parents did not take the marriage as well as I’d hoped and ignored me for 5 years, only to reach out when they saw a 5th anniversary facebook post that mentioned our kids. Do I let them back in, or do I ignore them?\n
      \n
      My husband (30m) used to be my boss. About 9 years ago I started working as his assistant. We spent about 2.5 years ignoring our mutual attraction until we gave in. We then went to HR, who reassigned me, and the whole thing was strictly above board from the time we began dating. I got pregnant about a year later, and my husband and I decided to just get married. While we’d only really been dating for about 1.5 years, we knew each other completely, loved each other, lived together, and there was a baby on the way. We knew how it would look, but I had to leave the company anyway due to problems with my new boss, so we didn’t anticipate this causing any issues, except with my parents.\n
      \n
      They (62m/57f) have always been overprotective, so I knew they wouldn’t like me dating my boss, and hadn’t told them, but I had to tell them if I wanted them at my wedding. We decided to be mostly honest with them, about how it was strictly professional until it wasn’t, how the second it got unprofessional we went to HR, how he had never taken advantage of me, but now we wanted to get married and we wanted them there. We did not mention the baby, because I felt that giving them that information in addition to the rest all at once would just break them. I was only about 4 months along when the wedding happened, so the bump was easily hidden by a flowy dress.\n
      \n
      The wedding itself went off without a hitch, and apart from my mother pulling me into the bathroom shortly before the ceremony to ask if I was sure about this, which I said I was, my parents seemed to take it well. The ceremony and reception were at 2 different venues, and we had to travel from one to the other, and my parents never arrived at the reception. I called them and got ignored, and then my brother called them and they told him that they were going home. I don’t remember the exact reason they gave but it amounted to them being tired and uncomfortable. I tried contacting them after the wedding, but found that I was blocked on everything except email, which I used to send them a long letter essentially saying that I’m an adult who made an adult choice and I hope they can respect that.\n
      \n
      5 years later, I have not heard from my parents since my wedding. My husband and I are not big on social media in general but I recently posted something for our 5th anniversary in which I mentioned our 2 kids and third on the way. Within a month of making this post, my parents left a voicemail saying they saw the post, and, having had no idea that they had grandchildren previously, now want to meet them. I haven’t responded and there have been a few follow ups since then asking why I haven’t.\n
      \n
      I don’t know what to do, but my gut instinct is that 5 years is too long, and it’s about the kids, not about them respecting my choices or relationship. However, I can’t help but feel that I’m being unfair, and my brother agrees, because I told them in my email that if they could learn to respect my choice and my marriage eventually, then we could talk, and now I’m retroactively applying a time limit.\n
      \n
      Edit: can’t find a way to work this in organically but my husband is not white. I am, as are my parents. I don’t think this is a race thing or that my parents are racist, and neither does my husband, and we don’t understand why they would want to meet our mixed race children if they were racist, but this element is still gnawing at me.\n
      \n
      Should I reach out to them? If I did, how would we go about rebuilding the relationship?\n
      \n
      [**Update**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/qdfsx0/update_i_29f_spoke_to_my_parents_who_ghosted_me_5/) *- October 22, 2021*\n
      \n
      TLDR; They’re racists.\n
      \n
      I asked to talk yesterday. We were on zoom within an hour. It was my parents and me and my husband. They asked to see the kids, and I said they could see them eventually, dependant on them earning our trust and convincing us they were going to be positive additions to the kids’ lives.\n
      \n
      They asked to start by reading me a letter that they claimed to have written on my wedding day. It said that they were uncomfortable with me marrying my former boss as they thought he took advantage of me, so they left between the wedding and reception to avoid a scene, but they wanted me to know they were here for me despite their issues with him. They added that they would have sent this to me the morning after my wedding, but then I sent my email about them needing to respect my choices, and they were so ashamed they couldn’t bring themselves to send theirs. Seeing my anniversary post made them realise how much they’ve missed in 5 years and they really don’t want to miss any more.\n
      \n
      I had some questions, like what the big deal was with me marrying my former boss, and they said that it just wasn’t what they had in mind for my wedding day and my future spouse. I asked why they even came to the wedding at all if they didn’t support the marriage, and my dad responded that he wanted to walk his daughter down the aisle as it was the only chance he’d get. The way it was phrased implied that they had intentionally only come to the wedding so he could give me away, and always planned to leave halfway, and because he said “my daughter”, and didn’t talk to me directly, it was pretty clear he was thinking about my older sister, who passed away. My husband caught that, too, and said that if they were talking about me, they should address me directly, then added that if they had planned to leave they should have told us as we wouldn’t have invited them, and the fact they waited 5 years to reach out was going to take more reasons than shame as, as a father, he didn’t understand how they could ignore their daughter for years, or only get back in touch when we had kids.\n
      \n
      My dad snapped that he wasn’t going to take this from a “cushi”, a slur meaning dark skinned. My mother immediately tried to run damage control but I ended the call. They have since messaged me several times trying to explain that calling my husband a racial slur wasn’t indicative of a racist attitude, and he wouldn’t have said that in front of the kids, so they should still get to meet them.\n
      \n
      I’ve spent 5 years wondering how they were so offended by me marrying my boss that it earned no contact for half a decade. Turns out they’re just racist. It’s almost nice to find out. If it was just the boss thing I would have sympathy for them and we might even be able to reconcile, but with this, it’s now just a question of if I’m going to knowingly expose my mixed race children to a couple of racists, which I am obviously not going to do.\n
      \n
      *Disclaimer*\n
      \n
      *This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
      \n
      Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/y8z737/my_29f_parents_ghosted_me_5_years_ago_after_my/)
      """
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  +body: "I was just responding to your last sentence, *“maybe at least hear what they have to say”*, and pointed out that they already did that and the results are already in the original post. By saying “I don't know what else you need” I was implying that this is probably enough to judge their character and make a decision on how to move forward with one's relationship with them. To never talk to your parents again, ever, is a legitimate decision to make after considering these variables, and it's not our place to force the author to constantly second-guess that decision."
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    +slug: "My-29f-parents-ghosted-me-5-years-ago-after-my"
    +title: "My (29f) parents ghosted me 5 years ago after my wedding and now reached out. What do I do?"
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    +body: """
      *This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
      \n
      **I am not OP.**\n
      \n
      Posted by [u/throwramotherwdid](/u/throwramotherwdid) on [r/relationship_advice](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice)\n
      \n
      [**Original**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/qbybwq/my_29f_parents_ghosted_me_5_years_ago_after_my/) *- October 20, 2021*\n
      \n
      TLDR; I’m married to my former boss. Parents did not take the marriage as well as I’d hoped and ignored me for 5 years, only to reach out when they saw a 5th anniversary facebook post that mentioned our kids. Do I let them back in, or do I ignore them?\n
      \n
      My husband (30m) used to be my boss. About 9 years ago I started working as his assistant. We spent about 2.5 years ignoring our mutual attraction until we gave in. We then went to HR, who reassigned me, and the whole thing was strictly above board from the time we began dating. I got pregnant about a year later, and my husband and I decided to just get married. While we’d only really been dating for about 1.5 years, we knew each other completely, loved each other, lived together, and there was a baby on the way. We knew how it would look, but I had to leave the company anyway due to problems with my new boss, so we didn’t anticipate this causing any issues, except with my parents.\n
      \n
      They (62m/57f) have always been overprotective, so I knew they wouldn’t like me dating my boss, and hadn’t told them, but I had to tell them if I wanted them at my wedding. We decided to be mostly honest with them, about how it was strictly professional until it wasn’t, how the second it got unprofessional we went to HR, how he had never taken advantage of me, but now we wanted to get married and we wanted them there. We did not mention the baby, because I felt that giving them that information in addition to the rest all at once would just break them. I was only about 4 months along when the wedding happened, so the bump was easily hidden by a flowy dress.\n
      \n
      The wedding itself went off without a hitch, and apart from my mother pulling me into the bathroom shortly before the ceremony to ask if I was sure about this, which I said I was, my parents seemed to take it well. The ceremony and reception were at 2 different venues, and we had to travel from one to the other, and my parents never arrived at the reception. I called them and got ignored, and then my brother called them and they told him that they were going home. I don’t remember the exact reason they gave but it amounted to them being tired and uncomfortable. I tried contacting them after the wedding, but found that I was blocked on everything except email, which I used to send them a long letter essentially saying that I’m an adult who made an adult choice and I hope they can respect that.\n
      \n
      5 years later, I have not heard from my parents since my wedding. My husband and I are not big on social media in general but I recently posted something for our 5th anniversary in which I mentioned our 2 kids and third on the way. Within a month of making this post, my parents left a voicemail saying they saw the post, and, having had no idea that they had grandchildren previously, now want to meet them. I haven’t responded and there have been a few follow ups since then asking why I haven’t.\n
      \n
      I don’t know what to do, but my gut instinct is that 5 years is too long, and it’s about the kids, not about them respecting my choices or relationship. However, I can’t help but feel that I’m being unfair, and my brother agrees, because I told them in my email that if they could learn to respect my choice and my marriage eventually, then we could talk, and now I’m retroactively applying a time limit.\n
      \n
      Edit: can’t find a way to work this in organically but my husband is not white. I am, as are my parents. I don’t think this is a race thing or that my parents are racist, and neither does my husband, and we don’t understand why they would want to meet our mixed race children if they were racist, but this element is still gnawing at me.\n
      \n
      Should I reach out to them? If I did, how would we go about rebuilding the relationship?\n
      \n
      [**Update**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/qdfsx0/update_i_29f_spoke_to_my_parents_who_ghosted_me_5/) *- October 22, 2021*\n
      \n
      TLDR; They’re racists.\n
      \n
      I asked to talk yesterday. We were on zoom within an hour. It was my parents and me and my husband. They asked to see the kids, and I said they could see them eventually, dependant on them earning our trust and convincing us they were going to be positive additions to the kids’ lives.\n
      \n
      They asked to start by reading me a letter that they claimed to have written on my wedding day. It said that they were uncomfortable with me marrying my former boss as they thought he took advantage of me, so they left between the wedding and reception to avoid a scene, but they wanted me to know they were here for me despite their issues with him. They added that they would have sent this to me the morning after my wedding, but then I sent my email about them needing to respect my choices, and they were so ashamed they couldn’t bring themselves to send theirs. Seeing my anniversary post made them realise how much they’ve missed in 5 years and they really don’t want to miss any more.\n
      \n
      I had some questions, like what the big deal was with me marrying my former boss, and they said that it just wasn’t what they had in mind for my wedding day and my future spouse. I asked why they even came to the wedding at all if they didn’t support the marriage, and my dad responded that he wanted to walk his daughter down the aisle as it was the only chance he’d get. The way it was phrased implied that they had intentionally only come to the wedding so he could give me away, and always planned to leave halfway, and because he said “my daughter”, and didn’t talk to me directly, it was pretty clear he was thinking about my older sister, who passed away. My husband caught that, too, and said that if they were talking about me, they should address me directly, then added that if they had planned to leave they should have told us as we wouldn’t have invited them, and the fact they waited 5 years to reach out was going to take more reasons than shame as, as a father, he didn’t understand how they could ignore their daughter for years, or only get back in touch when we had kids.\n
      \n
      My dad snapped that he wasn’t going to take this from a “cushi”, a slur meaning dark skinned. My mother immediately tried to run damage control but I ended the call. They have since messaged me several times trying to explain that calling my husband a racial slur wasn’t indicative of a racist attitude, and he wouldn’t have said that in front of the kids, so they should still get to meet them.\n
      \n
      I’ve spent 5 years wondering how they were so offended by me marrying my boss that it earned no contact for half a decade. Turns out they’re just racist. It’s almost nice to find out. If it was just the boss thing I would have sympathy for them and we might even be able to reconcile, but with this, it’s now just a question of if I’m going to knowingly expose my mixed race children to a couple of racists, which I am obviously not going to do.\n
      \n
      *Disclaimer*\n
      \n
      *This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
      \n
      Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/y8z737/my_29f_parents_ghosted_me_5_years_ago_after_my/)
      """
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      +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1688610496 {#1558
        date: 2023-07-06 04:28:16.0 +02:00
      }
      +"title": 8530
    }
  ]
  -id: 855
  -titleTs: "'forget':2 'never':1"
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  +cross: false
  +upVotes: 0
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  +ranking: 1688624902
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  +apId: "https://lemmy.world/post/1057451"
  +editedAt: null
  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1688553402 {#2212
    date: 2023-07-05 12:36:42.0 +02:00
  }
  +__isInitialized__: true
   …2
}
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
ACCESS DENIED
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
41 DENIED ROLE_USER
null
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authorization\Voter\RoleHierarchyVoter"
ACCESS DENIED
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
42 DENIED moderate
App\Entity\EntryComment {#1556
  +user: App\Entity\User {#264 …}
  +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1554
    +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2277 …}
    +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1563 …}
    +image: null
    +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2265 …}
    +slug: "Never-Forget"
    +title: "Never Forget"
    +url: "https://i.imgur.com/J3jMfiQ.jpg"
    +body: null
    +type: "image"
    +lang: "en"
    +isOc: false
    +hasEmbed: true
    +commentCount: 11
    +favouriteCount: 0
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    +lastActive: DateTime @1688751811 {#2271
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    }
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    +comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2263 …}
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    +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2236 …}
    +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2226 …}
    +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2238 …}
    +children: [
      App\Entity\EntryComment {#1556}
    ]
    -id: 855
    -titleTs: "'forget':2 'never':1"
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    +cross: false
    +upVotes: 0
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    +ranking: 1688624902
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    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1688553402 {#2212
      date: 2023-07-05 12:36:42.0 +02:00
    }
    +__isInitialized__: true
     …2
  }
  +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1563 …}
  +image: null
  +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1723 …}
  +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1723 …}
  +body: "He's a CEO precisely because he does things like this. CEOs are selected for maximum profitability at the detriment of literally everything else. That's also why psychopathy is way more widespread among CEOs than the general population."
  +lang: "en"
  +isAdult: false
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  +lastActive: DateTime @1688610496 {#1656
    date: 2023-07-06 04:28:16.0 +02:00
  }
  +ip: null
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  +mentions: [
    "@Fez@lemmy.world"
    "@mysoulishome@lemmy.world"
  ]
  +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1725 …}
  +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1597 …}
  +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1618 …}
  +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1626 …}
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  +ranking: 0
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  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1688610496 {#1558
    date: 2023-07-06 04:28:16.0 +02:00
  }
  +"title": 8530
}
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
ACCESS DENIED
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
43 DENIED edit
App\Entity\EntryComment {#1556
  +user: App\Entity\User {#264 …}
  +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1554
    +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2277 …}
    +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1563 …}
    +image: null
    +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2265 …}
    +slug: "Never-Forget"
    +title: "Never Forget"
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    +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2238 …}
    +children: [
      App\Entity\EntryComment {#1556}
    ]
    -id: 855
    -titleTs: "'forget':2 'never':1"
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    +cross: false
    +upVotes: 0
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    +ranking: 1688624902
    +visibility: "visible             "
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    +editedAt: null
    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1688553402 {#2212
      date: 2023-07-05 12:36:42.0 +02:00
    }
    +__isInitialized__: true
     …2
  }
  +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1563 …}
  +image: null
  +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1723 …}
  +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1723 …}
  +body: "He's a CEO precisely because he does things like this. CEOs are selected for maximum profitability at the detriment of literally everything else. That's also why psychopathy is way more widespread among CEOs than the general population."
  +lang: "en"
  +isAdult: false
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    date: 2023-07-06 04:28:16.0 +02:00
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    "@Fez@lemmy.world"
    "@mysoulishome@lemmy.world"
  ]
  +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1725 …}
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  -id: 8530
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  +ranking: 0
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  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1688610496 {#1558
    date: 2023-07-06 04:28:16.0 +02:00
  }
  +"title": 8530
}
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
ACCESS DENIED
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
44 DENIED moderate
App\Entity\EntryComment {#1556
  +user: App\Entity\User {#264 …}
  +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1554
    +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2277 …}
    +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1563 …}
    +image: null
    +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2265 …}
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    +title: "Never Forget"
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    +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2238 …}
    +children: [
      App\Entity\EntryComment {#1556}
    ]
    -id: 855
    -titleTs: "'forget':2 'never':1"
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    +upVotes: 0
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    +ranking: 1688624902
    +visibility: "visible             "
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    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1688553402 {#2212
      date: 2023-07-05 12:36:42.0 +02:00
    }
    +__isInitialized__: true
     …2
  }
  +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1563 …}
  +image: null
  +parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1723 …}
  +root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#1723 …}
  +body: "He's a CEO precisely because he does things like this. CEOs are selected for maximum profitability at the detriment of literally everything else. That's also why psychopathy is way more widespread among CEOs than the general population."
  +lang: "en"
  +isAdult: false
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    date: 2023-07-06 04:28:16.0 +02:00
  }
  +ip: null
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    "@Fez@lemmy.world"
    "@mysoulishome@lemmy.world"
  ]
  +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1725 …}
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  +ranking: 0
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  +apId: "https://kbin.social/m/RedditMigration/t/141194/-/comment/559105"
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  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1688610496 {#1558
    date: 2023-07-06 04:28:16.0 +02:00
  }
  +"title": 8530
}
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
ACCESS DENIED
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
45 DENIED ROLE_USER
null
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authorization\Voter\RoleHierarchyVoter"
ACCESS DENIED
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
46 DENIED moderate
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1586
  +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2351 …}
  +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1527 …}
  +image: null
  +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2213 …}
  +slug: "Follow-the-expense-policy-to-the-letter-he-said"
  +title: "Follow the expense policy to the letter, he said."
  +url: null
  +body: """
    I've been lurking on the reddit sub for many years, but I finally have a story I'm excited to tell!\n
    \n
    This is a story from a few years back, before the world went to shit.\n
    \n
    I was working for a company that was mid-sized. We traveled a lot to meet clients, and had an expense policy. But because it wasn't a huge company, the expense policy was more of a guideline than a strict rule. Everyone knew each other, and we all acted sensibly.\n
    \n
    I was supposed to attend a client meeting overseas in the UK. This was a somewhat last-minute request, and I had a personal vacation planned a few days after - also to Europe, but a different country. When I started looking up flights for the client meeting, I realised that instead of paying for my flight back home, it was cheaper for the company to just pay for a flight to bring me to my vacation destination. The catch was, I had an interval of 2 days between my vacation and the meeting - and I would need a hotel room paid for as well.\n
    \n
    In the past, I would've just told my boss and he'd be ok with it. But the company had hired a HR director 2 months back. So I presented my plan to my HR director. I showed them the cost of flying me back home, compared with the cost of paying for 2 nights in a mid-level hotel while I worked remotely, and then flying me straight to my vacation. The latter would save them a fair bit of money - and as a bonus, I cut down on travel time.\n
    \n
    The HR director didn't take kindly to my proposal, and accused me of trying to "game the system" to get 2 extra vacation days. He scolded me for taking advantage of the company, and told me to follow the expense policy "to the letter".\n
    \n
    Did I mention that our expense policy wasn't very well written, and was more of a guideline than a strict rule? One example was the section on land transport. I can't remember the exact wording, but it said something like "we will cover the cost of flights to the nearest airport and subsequent car transport".\n
    \n
    Most of us knew the spirit of the policy, and we'd fly in to a reasonably near airport and take a train or cab. Sometimes that meant flying in to a hub that was further. In this case, it would have been way cheaper to fly to London and take a train to the client's city for about $50. But hey, the HR director said to follow the policy "to the letter", didn't he?\n
    \n
    I booked a flight to the nearest airport. It was literally twice the price of a flight to London - and we're talking thousands of dollars here. But hey, I'm just following the policy. Instead of taking a train to the city centre for $5 or less, I also took a cab, which turned out to be $40 or so. Gotta follow the policy, which doesn't cover trains!\n
    \n
    When I came back from my vacation, I found out that my expenses had been flagged (no surprises there, it was way beyond what previous visits cost). I was called in to speak with the HR director about the issue. I simply pointed out to him that I had not been following the expense policy to the letter in the past, and I had learnt my lesson after the last time I spoke to him, so this time round I religiously followed the policy, and I would continue to do so in future.\n
    \n
    HR had to spend a few weeks rewriting the policy. Because my expenses were out of the norm, the HR director had to get our CFO's approval to cover part of my expenses so they didn't have to explain it to the client. The CFO was pissed at the HR director for breaking something that had worked for years. I left after a year or so, but I heard the HR director was slowly pushed out and left a few months after me.
    """
  +type: "article"
  +lang: "en"
  +isOc: false
  +hasEmbed: false
  +commentCount: 26
  +favouriteCount: 97
  +score: 0
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  +lastActive: DateTime @1687144544 {#2249
    date: 2023-06-19 05:15:44.0 +02:00
  }
  +ip: null
  +adaAmount: 0
  +tags: null
  +mentions: null
  +comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2210 …}
  +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2246 …}
  +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2248 …}
  +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2247 …}
  +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2256 …}
  +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2284 …}
  +children: [
    App\Entity\EntryComment {#1647
      +user: App\Entity\User {#264 …}
      +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1586 …2}
      +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1527 …}
      +image: null
      +parent: null
      +root: null
      +body: """
        Oh boy, this is such an awesome story. Thank you for sticking it up to the abusive manager and entertaining us with the result.\n
        \n
        Unfortunately I didn't have the guts to do this. I used to work at a place where everything was fine until a new line manager was installed who moved me to a different desk in another building. That desk was right next to the server room, which was noisy with a constant low-pitched grumbling. I was not able to think or concentrate in that environment, so I would frequently take my laptop to another floor and do my work there. The manager was not happy about that and *demanded* that I should return to my assigned desk and stay there. I told him it would mean I wouldn't be able to accomplish any work and he said something on the lines of “I don't care”. I should have taken him up on that; I should have stopped working entirely and just browsed the web all day until he gets wind of it and finally admits that he does care. But I was too cowardly to dare. I continued to defy him by spending most of my time at the “wrong” desk though.
        """
      +lang: "en"
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        date: 2023-06-16 07:25:50.0 +02:00
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        "@eyy@lemm.ee"
      ]
      +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1528 …}
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      +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1576 …}
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      +ranking: 0
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        date: 2023-06-16 06:19:45.0 +02:00
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      +"title": 221
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  ]
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    I've been lurking on the reddit sub for many years, but I finally have a story I'm excited to tell!\n
    \n
    This is a story from a few years back, before the world went to shit.\n
    \n
    I was working for a company that was mid-sized. We traveled a lot to meet clients, and had an expense policy. But because it wasn't a huge company, the expense policy was more of a guideline than a strict rule. Everyone knew each other, and we all acted sensibly.\n
    \n
    I was supposed to attend a client meeting overseas in the UK. This was a somewhat last-minute request, and I had a personal vacation planned a few days after - also to Europe, but a different country. When I started looking up flights for the client meeting, I realised that instead of paying for my flight back home, it was cheaper for the company to just pay for a flight to bring me to my vacation destination. The catch was, I had an interval of 2 days between my vacation and the meeting - and I would need a hotel room paid for as well.\n
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    I've been lurking on the reddit sub for many years, but I finally have a story I'm excited to tell!\n
    \n
    This is a story from a few years back, before the world went to shit.\n
    \n
    I was working for a company that was mid-sized. We traveled a lot to meet clients, and had an expense policy. But because it wasn't a huge company, the expense policy was more of a guideline than a strict rule. Everyone knew each other, and we all acted sensibly.\n
    \n
    I was supposed to attend a client meeting overseas in the UK. This was a somewhat last-minute request, and I had a personal vacation planned a few days after - also to Europe, but a different country. When I started looking up flights for the client meeting, I realised that instead of paying for my flight back home, it was cheaper for the company to just pay for a flight to bring me to my vacation destination. The catch was, I had an interval of 2 days between my vacation and the meeting - and I would need a hotel room paid for as well.\n
    \n
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    \n
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    \n
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    \n
    Most of us knew the spirit of the policy, and we'd fly in to a reasonably near airport and take a train or cab. Sometimes that meant flying in to a hub that was further. In this case, it would have been way cheaper to fly to London and take a train to the client's city for about $50. But hey, the HR director said to follow the policy "to the letter", didn't he?\n
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    """
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  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1686883967 {#2262
    date: 2023-06-16 04:52:47.0 +02:00
  }
  +__isInitialized__: true
   …2
}
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Show voter details
49 DENIED ROLE_USER
null
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
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50 DENIED moderate
App\Entity\EntryComment {#1647
  +user: App\Entity\User {#264 …}
  +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1586
    +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2351 …}
    +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1527 …}
    +image: null
    +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2213 …}
    +slug: "Follow-the-expense-policy-to-the-letter-he-said"
    +title: "Follow the expense policy to the letter, he said."
    +url: null
    +body: """
      I've been lurking on the reddit sub for many years, but I finally have a story I'm excited to tell!\n
      \n
      This is a story from a few years back, before the world went to shit.\n
      \n
      I was working for a company that was mid-sized. We traveled a lot to meet clients, and had an expense policy. But because it wasn't a huge company, the expense policy was more of a guideline than a strict rule. Everyone knew each other, and we all acted sensibly.\n
      \n
      I was supposed to attend a client meeting overseas in the UK. This was a somewhat last-minute request, and I had a personal vacation planned a few days after - also to Europe, but a different country. When I started looking up flights for the client meeting, I realised that instead of paying for my flight back home, it was cheaper for the company to just pay for a flight to bring me to my vacation destination. The catch was, I had an interval of 2 days between my vacation and the meeting - and I would need a hotel room paid for as well.\n
      \n
      In the past, I would've just told my boss and he'd be ok with it. But the company had hired a HR director 2 months back. So I presented my plan to my HR director. I showed them the cost of flying me back home, compared with the cost of paying for 2 nights in a mid-level hotel while I worked remotely, and then flying me straight to my vacation. The latter would save them a fair bit of money - and as a bonus, I cut down on travel time.\n
      \n
      The HR director didn't take kindly to my proposal, and accused me of trying to "game the system" to get 2 extra vacation days. He scolded me for taking advantage of the company, and told me to follow the expense policy "to the letter".\n
      \n
      Did I mention that our expense policy wasn't very well written, and was more of a guideline than a strict rule? One example was the section on land transport. I can't remember the exact wording, but it said something like "we will cover the cost of flights to the nearest airport and subsequent car transport".\n
      \n
      Most of us knew the spirit of the policy, and we'd fly in to a reasonably near airport and take a train or cab. Sometimes that meant flying in to a hub that was further. In this case, it would have been way cheaper to fly to London and take a train to the client's city for about $50. But hey, the HR director said to follow the policy "to the letter", didn't he?\n
      \n
      I booked a flight to the nearest airport. It was literally twice the price of a flight to London - and we're talking thousands of dollars here. But hey, I'm just following the policy. Instead of taking a train to the city centre for $5 or less, I also took a cab, which turned out to be $40 or so. Gotta follow the policy, which doesn't cover trains!\n
      \n
      When I came back from my vacation, I found out that my expenses had been flagged (no surprises there, it was way beyond what previous visits cost). I was called in to speak with the HR director about the issue. I simply pointed out to him that I had not been following the expense policy to the letter in the past, and I had learnt my lesson after the last time I spoke to him, so this time round I religiously followed the policy, and I would continue to do so in future.\n
      \n
      HR had to spend a few weeks rewriting the policy. Because my expenses were out of the norm, the HR director had to get our CFO's approval to cover part of my expenses so they didn't have to explain it to the client. The CFO was pissed at the HR director for breaking something that had worked for years. I left after a year or so, but I heard the HR director was slowly pushed out and left a few months after me.
      """
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    -titleTs: "'expens':3 'follow':1 'letter':7 'polici':4 'said':9"
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    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1686883967 {#2262
      date: 2023-06-16 04:52:47.0 +02:00
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    +__isInitialized__: true
     …2
  }
  +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1527 …}
  +image: null
  +parent: null
  +root: null
  +body: """
    Oh boy, this is such an awesome story. Thank you for sticking it up to the abusive manager and entertaining us with the result.\n
    \n
    Unfortunately I didn't have the guts to do this. I used to work at a place where everything was fine until a new line manager was installed who moved me to a different desk in another building. That desk was right next to the server room, which was noisy with a constant low-pitched grumbling. I was not able to think or concentrate in that environment, so I would frequently take my laptop to another floor and do my work there. The manager was not happy about that and *demanded* that I should return to my assigned desk and stay there. I told him it would mean I wouldn't be able to accomplish any work and he said something on the lines of “I don't care”. I should have taken him up on that; I should have stopped working entirely and just browsed the web all day until he gets wind of it and finally admits that he does care. But I was too cowardly to dare. I continued to defy him by spending most of my time at the “wrong” desk though.
    """
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    date: 2023-06-16 07:25:50.0 +02:00
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    "@eyy@lemm.ee"
  ]
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  +apId: "https://kbin.social/m/maliciouscompliance@lemmy.world/t/31864/-/comment/131229"
  +editedAt: null
  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1686889185 {#1595
    date: 2023-06-16 06:19:45.0 +02:00
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}
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51 DENIED edit
App\Entity\EntryComment {#1647
  +user: App\Entity\User {#264 …}
  +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1586
    +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2351 …}
    +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1527 …}
    +image: null
    +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2213 …}
    +slug: "Follow-the-expense-policy-to-the-letter-he-said"
    +title: "Follow the expense policy to the letter, he said."
    +url: null
    +body: """
      I've been lurking on the reddit sub for many years, but I finally have a story I'm excited to tell!\n
      \n
      This is a story from a few years back, before the world went to shit.\n
      \n
      I was working for a company that was mid-sized. We traveled a lot to meet clients, and had an expense policy. But because it wasn't a huge company, the expense policy was more of a guideline than a strict rule. Everyone knew each other, and we all acted sensibly.\n
      \n
      I was supposed to attend a client meeting overseas in the UK. This was a somewhat last-minute request, and I had a personal vacation planned a few days after - also to Europe, but a different country. When I started looking up flights for the client meeting, I realised that instead of paying for my flight back home, it was cheaper for the company to just pay for a flight to bring me to my vacation destination. The catch was, I had an interval of 2 days between my vacation and the meeting - and I would need a hotel room paid for as well.\n
      \n
      In the past, I would've just told my boss and he'd be ok with it. But the company had hired a HR director 2 months back. So I presented my plan to my HR director. I showed them the cost of flying me back home, compared with the cost of paying for 2 nights in a mid-level hotel while I worked remotely, and then flying me straight to my vacation. The latter would save them a fair bit of money - and as a bonus, I cut down on travel time.\n
      \n
      The HR director didn't take kindly to my proposal, and accused me of trying to "game the system" to get 2 extra vacation days. He scolded me for taking advantage of the company, and told me to follow the expense policy "to the letter".\n
      \n
      Did I mention that our expense policy wasn't very well written, and was more of a guideline than a strict rule? One example was the section on land transport. I can't remember the exact wording, but it said something like "we will cover the cost of flights to the nearest airport and subsequent car transport".\n
      \n
      Most of us knew the spirit of the policy, and we'd fly in to a reasonably near airport and take a train or cab. Sometimes that meant flying in to a hub that was further. In this case, it would have been way cheaper to fly to London and take a train to the client's city for about $50. But hey, the HR director said to follow the policy "to the letter", didn't he?\n
      \n
      I booked a flight to the nearest airport. It was literally twice the price of a flight to London - and we're talking thousands of dollars here. But hey, I'm just following the policy. Instead of taking a train to the city centre for $5 or less, I also took a cab, which turned out to be $40 or so. Gotta follow the policy, which doesn't cover trains!\n
      \n
      When I came back from my vacation, I found out that my expenses had been flagged (no surprises there, it was way beyond what previous visits cost). I was called in to speak with the HR director about the issue. I simply pointed out to him that I had not been following the expense policy to the letter in the past, and I had learnt my lesson after the last time I spoke to him, so this time round I religiously followed the policy, and I would continue to do so in future.\n
      \n
      HR had to spend a few weeks rewriting the policy. Because my expenses were out of the norm, the HR director had to get our CFO's approval to cover part of my expenses so they didn't have to explain it to the client. The CFO was pissed at the HR director for breaking something that had worked for years. I left after a year or so, but I heard the HR director was slowly pushed out and left a few months after me.
      """
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      date: 2023-06-16 04:52:47.0 +02:00
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     …2
  }
  +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1527 …}
  +image: null
  +parent: null
  +root: null
  +body: """
    Oh boy, this is such an awesome story. Thank you for sticking it up to the abusive manager and entertaining us with the result.\n
    \n
    Unfortunately I didn't have the guts to do this. I used to work at a place where everything was fine until a new line manager was installed who moved me to a different desk in another building. That desk was right next to the server room, which was noisy with a constant low-pitched grumbling. I was not able to think or concentrate in that environment, so I would frequently take my laptop to another floor and do my work there. The manager was not happy about that and *demanded* that I should return to my assigned desk and stay there. I told him it would mean I wouldn't be able to accomplish any work and he said something on the lines of “I don't care”. I should have taken him up on that; I should have stopped working entirely and just browsed the web all day until he gets wind of it and finally admits that he does care. But I was too cowardly to dare. I continued to defy him by spending most of my time at the “wrong” desk though.
    """
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    date: 2023-06-16 07:25:50.0 +02:00
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  +apId: "https://kbin.social/m/maliciouscompliance@lemmy.world/t/31864/-/comment/131229"
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  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1686889185 {#1595
    date: 2023-06-16 06:19:45.0 +02:00
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  +"title": 221
}
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
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Show voter details
52 DENIED moderate
App\Entity\EntryComment {#1647
  +user: App\Entity\User {#264 …}
  +entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#1586
    +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2351 …}
    +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1527 …}
    +image: null
    +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2213 …}
    +slug: "Follow-the-expense-policy-to-the-letter-he-said"
    +title: "Follow the expense policy to the letter, he said."
    +url: null
    +body: """
      I've been lurking on the reddit sub for many years, but I finally have a story I'm excited to tell!\n
      \n
      This is a story from a few years back, before the world went to shit.\n
      \n
      I was working for a company that was mid-sized. We traveled a lot to meet clients, and had an expense policy. But because it wasn't a huge company, the expense policy was more of a guideline than a strict rule. Everyone knew each other, and we all acted sensibly.\n
      \n
      I was supposed to attend a client meeting overseas in the UK. This was a somewhat last-minute request, and I had a personal vacation planned a few days after - also to Europe, but a different country. When I started looking up flights for the client meeting, I realised that instead of paying for my flight back home, it was cheaper for the company to just pay for a flight to bring me to my vacation destination. The catch was, I had an interval of 2 days between my vacation and the meeting - and I would need a hotel room paid for as well.\n
      \n
      In the past, I would've just told my boss and he'd be ok with it. But the company had hired a HR director 2 months back. So I presented my plan to my HR director. I showed them the cost of flying me back home, compared with the cost of paying for 2 nights in a mid-level hotel while I worked remotely, and then flying me straight to my vacation. The latter would save them a fair bit of money - and as a bonus, I cut down on travel time.\n
      \n
      The HR director didn't take kindly to my proposal, and accused me of trying to "game the system" to get 2 extra vacation days. He scolded me for taking advantage of the company, and told me to follow the expense policy "to the letter".\n
      \n
      Did I mention that our expense policy wasn't very well written, and was more of a guideline than a strict rule? One example was the section on land transport. I can't remember the exact wording, but it said something like "we will cover the cost of flights to the nearest airport and subsequent car transport".\n
      \n
      Most of us knew the spirit of the policy, and we'd fly in to a reasonably near airport and take a train or cab. Sometimes that meant flying in to a hub that was further. In this case, it would have been way cheaper to fly to London and take a train to the client's city for about $50. But hey, the HR director said to follow the policy "to the letter", didn't he?\n
      \n
      I booked a flight to the nearest airport. It was literally twice the price of a flight to London - and we're talking thousands of dollars here. But hey, I'm just following the policy. Instead of taking a train to the city centre for $5 or less, I also took a cab, which turned out to be $40 or so. Gotta follow the policy, which doesn't cover trains!\n
      \n
      When I came back from my vacation, I found out that my expenses had been flagged (no surprises there, it was way beyond what previous visits cost). I was called in to speak with the HR director about the issue. I simply pointed out to him that I had not been following the expense policy to the letter in the past, and I had learnt my lesson after the last time I spoke to him, so this time round I religiously followed the policy, and I would continue to do so in future.\n
      \n
      HR had to spend a few weeks rewriting the policy. Because my expenses were out of the norm, the HR director had to get our CFO's approval to cover part of my expenses so they didn't have to explain it to the client. The CFO was pissed at the HR director for breaking something that had worked for years. I left after a year or so, but I heard the HR director was slowly pushed out and left a few months after me.
      """
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    -titleTs: "'expens':3 'follow':1 'letter':7 'polici':4 'said':9"
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      date: 2023-06-16 04:52:47.0 +02:00
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     …2
  }
  +magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#1527 …}
  +image: null
  +parent: null
  +root: null
  +body: """
    Oh boy, this is such an awesome story. Thank you for sticking it up to the abusive manager and entertaining us with the result.\n
    \n
    Unfortunately I didn't have the guts to do this. I used to work at a place where everything was fine until a new line manager was installed who moved me to a different desk in another building. That desk was right next to the server room, which was noisy with a constant low-pitched grumbling. I was not able to think or concentrate in that environment, so I would frequently take my laptop to another floor and do my work there. The manager was not happy about that and *demanded* that I should return to my assigned desk and stay there. I told him it would mean I wouldn't be able to accomplish any work and he said something on the lines of “I don't care”. I should have taken him up on that; I should have stopped working entirely and just browsed the web all day until he gets wind of it and finally admits that he does care. But I was too cowardly to dare. I continued to defy him by spending most of my time at the “wrong” desk though.
    """
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    date: 2023-06-16 06:19:45.0 +02:00
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  +"title": 221
}
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Show voter details
53 DENIED ROLE_ADMIN
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
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ACCESS DENIED
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
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Show voter details
54 DENIED ROLE_MODERATOR
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
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"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details