Redirect 302 redirect from GET @entry_comment_create (e597b4)

Security

Token

There is no security token.

Firewall

main Name
Security enabled
Stateless

Configuration

Key Value
provider security.user.provider.concrete.app_user_provider
context main
entry_point App\Security\KbinAuthenticator
user_checker App\Security\UserChecker
access_denied_handler (none)
access_denied_url (none)
authenticators
[
  "two_factor"
  "remember_me"
  "App\Security\KbinAuthenticator"
  "App\Security\FacebookAuthenticator"
  "App\Security\GoogleAuthenticator"
  "App\Security\GithubAuthenticator"
  "App\Security\KeycloakAuthenticator"
]

Listeners

Listener Duration Response
Symfony\Component\Security\Http\Firewall\ChannelListener {#723
  -map: Symfony\Component\Security\Http\AccessMap {#722 …}
  -logger: Monolog\Logger {#783 …}
  -httpPort: 80
  -httpsPort: 443
}
0.00 ms (none)
Symfony\Component\Security\Http\Firewall\ContextListener {#706
  -tokenStorage: Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authentication\Token\Storage\TokenStorage {#1017 …}
  -sessionKey: "_security_main"
  -logger: Monolog\Logger {#783 …}
  -userProviders: Symfony\Component\DependencyInjection\Argument\RewindableGenerator {#705 …}
  -dispatcher: Symfony\Component\EventDispatcher\Debug\TraceableEventDispatcher {#747 …}
  -registered: false
  -trustResolver: Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authentication\AuthenticationTrustResolver {#780 …}
  -sessionTrackerEnabler: Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authentication\Token\Storage\UsageTrackingTokenStorage::enableUsageTracking(): void {#703 …}
}
5.17 ms (none)
Symfony\Component\Security\Http\Firewall\AuthenticatorManagerListener {#584
  -authenticatorManager: Symfony\Component\Security\Http\Authentication\AuthenticatorManager {#595 …}
}
0.00 ms (none)
Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Http\Firewall\TwoFactorAccessListener {#582
  -twoFactorFirewallConfig: Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\TwoFactor\TwoFactorFirewallConfig {#842 …}
  -tokenStorage: Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authentication\Token\Storage\UsageTrackingTokenStorage {#1018 …}
  -twoFactorAccessDecider: Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\TwoFactorAccessDecider {#581 …}
}
0.14 ms (none)
Symfony\Component\Security\Http\Firewall\AccessListener {#579
  -tokenStorage: Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authentication\Token\Storage\UsageTrackingTokenStorage {#1018 …}
  -accessDecisionManager: Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authorization\TraceableAccessDecisionManager {#937 …}
  -map: Symfony\Component\Security\Http\AccessMap {#722 …}
}
0.00 ms (none)
Symfony\Component\Security\Http\Firewall\LogoutListener {#786
  -tokenStorage: Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authentication\Token\Storage\UsageTrackingTokenStorage {#1018 …}
  -options: [
    "csrf_parameter" => "_csrf_token"
    "csrf_token_id" => "logout"
    "logout_path" => "app_logout"
  ]
  -httpUtils: Symfony\Component\Security\Http\HttpUtils {#841 …}
  -csrfTokenManager: Symfony\Component\Security\Csrf\CsrfTokenManager {#1015 …}
  -eventDispatcher: Symfony\Component\EventDispatcher\Debug\TraceableEventDispatcher {#747 …}
}
0.00 ms (none)

Authenticators

No authenticators have been recorded. Check previous profiles on your authentication endpoint.

Access Decision

affirmative Strategy
# Voter class
1
"Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authorization\Voter\AuthenticatedVoter"
2
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
3
"Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authorization\Voter\RoleHierarchyVoter"
4
"Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authorization\Voter\ExpressionVoter"
5
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
6
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
7
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
8
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
9
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
10
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
11
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
12
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
13
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
14
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"

Access decision log

# Result Attributes Object
1 DENIED ROLE_USER
null
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"Symfony\Component\Security\Core\Authorization\Voter\RoleHierarchyVoter"
ACCESS DENIED
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
2 DENIED moderate
App\Entity\Entry {#2388
  +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1943 …}
  +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266
    +icon: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Image {#247 …}
    +name: "asklemmy@lemmy.ml"
    +title: "asklemmy"
    +description: """
      A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions\n
      \n
      **[Search asklemmy](https://lemmy.ml/search?q=&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=8&page=1&sort=TopAll) 🔍**\n
      \n
      If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
      \n
      1. Open-ended\n
      2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
      3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
      4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
      5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
      \n
      Support alternatives:\n
      \n
      - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
      - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
      - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
      \n
      ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
      """
    +rules: null
    +subscriptionsCount: 0
    +entryCount: 580
    +entryCommentCount: 15558
    +postCount: 7
    +postCommentCount: 129
    +isAdult: false
    +customCss: null
    +lastActive: DateTime @1689748304 {#276
      date: 2023-07-19 08:31:44.0 +02:00
    }
    +markedForDeletionAt: null
    +tags: null
    +moderators: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#238 …}
    +ownershipRequests: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#234 …}
    +moderatorRequests: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#223 …}
    +entries: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#181 …}
    +posts: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#139 …}
    +subscriptions: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#201 …}
    +bans: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#118 …}
    +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#104 …}
    +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#82 …}
    +logs: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#72 …}
    +awards: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#61 …}
    +categories: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1820 …}
    -id: 9
    +apId: "asklemmy@lemmy.ml"
    +apProfileId: "https://lemmy.ml/c/asklemmy"
    +apPublicUrl: "https://lemmy.ml/c/asklemmy"
    +apFollowersUrl: "https://lemmy.ml/c/asklemmy/followers"
    +apInboxUrl: "https://lemmy.ml/inbox"
    +apDomain: "lemmy.ml"
    +apPreferredUsername: "asklemmy"
    +apDiscoverable: true
    +apManuallyApprovesFollowers: null
    +privateKey: null
    +publicKey: null
    +apFetchedAt: DateTime @1689747596 {#270
      date: 2023-07-19 08:19:56.0 +02:00
    }
    +apDeletedAt: null
    +apTimeoutAt: null
    +visibility: "visible             "
    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1686889707 {#272
      date: 2023-06-16 06:28:27.0 +02:00
    }
  }
  +image: null
  +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#1912 …}
  +slug: "What-is-the-most-unhelpful-advice-you-have-received"
  +title: "What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?"
  +url: null
  +body: """
    I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
    \n
    Also: Responding to “How do I deal with this problem?” questions with “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s enough that you’re even thinking about it!”
    """
  +type: "article"
  +lang: "en"
  +isOc: false
  +hasEmbed: false
  +commentCount: 230
  +favouriteCount: 480
  +score: 0
  +isAdult: false
  +sticky: false
  +lastActive: DateTime @1689693437 {#2410
    date: 2023-07-18 17:17:17.0 +02:00
  }
  +ip: null
  +adaAmount: 0
  +tags: null
  +mentions: null
  +comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1866 …}
  +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1978 …}
  +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1946 …}
  +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1971 …}
  +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2443 …}
  +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2426 …}
  +children: []
  -id: 1272
  -titleTs: "'advic':6 'receiv':9 'unhelp':5"
  -bodyTs: "'20s':23 'adult':46 'also':54 'child':47 'children':9 'deal':60 'desir':26 'divorc':39 'enough':74 'even':78 'ever':28 'first':4 'go':3 'kid':30 'late':22 'least':44 'll':2 'mean':33 'multipl':40 'oh':66 'one':45 'problem':63 'question':64 're':12,77 'respond':55 'someon':38 'speak':51 'support':35 'think':79 'time':41 'told':14 'worri':69 'young':13"
  +cross: false
  +upVotes: 0
  +downVotes: 0
  +ranking: 1689464378
  +visibility: "visible             "
  +apId: "https://lemmy.world/post/1489618"
  +editedAt: null
  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1689377978 {#1850
    date: 2023-07-15 01:39:38.0 +02:00
  }
}
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
ACCESS DENIED
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
3 DENIED edit
App\Entity\Entry {#2388
  +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1943 …}
  +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266
    +icon: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Image {#247 …}
    +name: "asklemmy@lemmy.ml"
    +title: "asklemmy"
    +description: """
      A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions\n
      \n
      **[Search asklemmy](https://lemmy.ml/search?q=&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=8&page=1&sort=TopAll) 🔍**\n
      \n
      If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
      \n
      1. Open-ended\n
      2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
      3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
      4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
      5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
      \n
      Support alternatives:\n
      \n
      - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
      - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
      - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
      \n
      ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
      """
    +rules: null
    +subscriptionsCount: 0
    +entryCount: 580
    +entryCommentCount: 15558
    +postCount: 7
    +postCommentCount: 129
    +isAdult: false
    +customCss: null
    +lastActive: DateTime @1689748304 {#276
      date: 2023-07-19 08:31:44.0 +02:00
    }
    +markedForDeletionAt: null
    +tags: null
    +moderators: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#238 …}
    +ownershipRequests: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#234 …}
    +moderatorRequests: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#223 …}
    +entries: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#181 …}
    +posts: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#139 …}
    +subscriptions: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#201 …}
    +bans: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#118 …}
    +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#104 …}
    +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#82 …}
    +logs: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#72 …}
    +awards: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#61 …}
    +categories: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1820 …}
    -id: 9
    +apId: "asklemmy@lemmy.ml"
    +apProfileId: "https://lemmy.ml/c/asklemmy"
    +apPublicUrl: "https://lemmy.ml/c/asklemmy"
    +apFollowersUrl: "https://lemmy.ml/c/asklemmy/followers"
    +apInboxUrl: "https://lemmy.ml/inbox"
    +apDomain: "lemmy.ml"
    +apPreferredUsername: "asklemmy"
    +apDiscoverable: true
    +apManuallyApprovesFollowers: null
    +privateKey: null
    +publicKey: null
    +apFetchedAt: DateTime @1689747596 {#270
      date: 2023-07-19 08:19:56.0 +02:00
    }
    +apDeletedAt: null
    +apTimeoutAt: null
    +visibility: "visible             "
    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1686889707 {#272
      date: 2023-06-16 06:28:27.0 +02:00
    }
  }
  +image: null
  +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#1912 …}
  +slug: "What-is-the-most-unhelpful-advice-you-have-received"
  +title: "What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?"
  +url: null
  +body: """
    I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
    \n
    Also: Responding to “How do I deal with this problem?” questions with “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s enough that you’re even thinking about it!”
    """
  +type: "article"
  +lang: "en"
  +isOc: false
  +hasEmbed: false
  +commentCount: 230
  +favouriteCount: 480
  +score: 0
  +isAdult: false
  +sticky: false
  +lastActive: DateTime @1689693437 {#2410
    date: 2023-07-18 17:17:17.0 +02:00
  }
  +ip: null
  +adaAmount: 0
  +tags: null
  +mentions: null
  +comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1866 …}
  +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1978 …}
  +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1946 …}
  +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1971 …}
  +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2443 …}
  +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2426 …}
  +children: []
  -id: 1272
  -titleTs: "'advic':6 'receiv':9 'unhelp':5"
  -bodyTs: "'20s':23 'adult':46 'also':54 'child':47 'children':9 'deal':60 'desir':26 'divorc':39 'enough':74 'even':78 'ever':28 'first':4 'go':3 'kid':30 'late':22 'least':44 'll':2 'mean':33 'multipl':40 'oh':66 'one':45 'problem':63 'question':64 're':12,77 'respond':55 'someon':38 'speak':51 'support':35 'think':79 'time':41 'told':14 'worri':69 'young':13"
  +cross: false
  +upVotes: 0
  +downVotes: 0
  +ranking: 1689464378
  +visibility: "visible             "
  +apId: "https://lemmy.world/post/1489618"
  +editedAt: null
  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1689377978 {#1850
    date: 2023-07-15 01:39:38.0 +02:00
  }
}
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
ACCESS DENIED
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
4 DENIED moderate
App\Entity\Entry {#2388
  +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1943 …}
  +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266
    +icon: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Image {#247 …}
    +name: "asklemmy@lemmy.ml"
    +title: "asklemmy"
    +description: """
      A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions\n
      \n
      **[Search asklemmy](https://lemmy.ml/search?q=&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=8&page=1&sort=TopAll) 🔍**\n
      \n
      If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
      \n
      1. Open-ended\n
      2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
      3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
      4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
      5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
      \n
      Support alternatives:\n
      \n
      - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
      - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
      - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
      \n
      ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
      """
    +rules: null
    +subscriptionsCount: 0
    +entryCount: 580
    +entryCommentCount: 15558
    +postCount: 7
    +postCommentCount: 129
    +isAdult: false
    +customCss: null
    +lastActive: DateTime @1689748304 {#276
      date: 2023-07-19 08:31:44.0 +02:00
    }
    +markedForDeletionAt: null
    +tags: null
    +moderators: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#238 …}
    +ownershipRequests: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#234 …}
    +moderatorRequests: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#223 …}
    +entries: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#181 …}
    +posts: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#139 …}
    +subscriptions: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#201 …}
    +bans: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#118 …}
    +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#104 …}
    +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#82 …}
    +logs: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#72 …}
    +awards: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#61 …}
    +categories: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1820 …}
    -id: 9
    +apId: "asklemmy@lemmy.ml"
    +apProfileId: "https://lemmy.ml/c/asklemmy"
    +apPublicUrl: "https://lemmy.ml/c/asklemmy"
    +apFollowersUrl: "https://lemmy.ml/c/asklemmy/followers"
    +apInboxUrl: "https://lemmy.ml/inbox"
    +apDomain: "lemmy.ml"
    +apPreferredUsername: "asklemmy"
    +apDiscoverable: true
    +apManuallyApprovesFollowers: null
    +privateKey: null
    +publicKey: null
    +apFetchedAt: DateTime @1689747596 {#270
      date: 2023-07-19 08:19:56.0 +02:00
    }
    +apDeletedAt: null
    +apTimeoutAt: null
    +visibility: "visible             "
    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1686889707 {#272
      date: 2023-06-16 06:28:27.0 +02:00
    }
  }
  +image: null
  +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#1912 …}
  +slug: "What-is-the-most-unhelpful-advice-you-have-received"
  +title: "What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?"
  +url: null
  +body: """
    I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
    \n
    Also: Responding to “How do I deal with this problem?” questions with “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s enough that you’re even thinking about it!”
    """
  +type: "article"
  +lang: "en"
  +isOc: false
  +hasEmbed: false
  +commentCount: 230
  +favouriteCount: 480
  +score: 0
  +isAdult: false
  +sticky: false
  +lastActive: DateTime @1689693437 {#2410
    date: 2023-07-18 17:17:17.0 +02:00
  }
  +ip: null
  +adaAmount: 0
  +tags: null
  +mentions: null
  +comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1866 …}
  +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1978 …}
  +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1946 …}
  +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1971 …}
  +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2443 …}
  +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2426 …}
  +children: []
  -id: 1272
  -titleTs: "'advic':6 'receiv':9 'unhelp':5"
  -bodyTs: "'20s':23 'adult':46 'also':54 'child':47 'children':9 'deal':60 'desir':26 'divorc':39 'enough':74 'even':78 'ever':28 'first':4 'go':3 'kid':30 'late':22 'least':44 'll':2 'mean':33 'multipl':40 'oh':66 'one':45 'problem':63 'question':64 're':12,77 'respond':55 'someon':38 'speak':51 'support':35 'think':79 'time':41 'told':14 'worri':69 'young':13"
  +cross: false
  +upVotes: 0
  +downVotes: 0
  +ranking: 1689464378
  +visibility: "visible             "
  +apId: "https://lemmy.world/post/1489618"
  +editedAt: null
  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1689377978 {#1850
    date: 2023-07-15 01:39:38.0 +02:00
  }
}
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
ACCESS DENIED
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
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Show voter details
5 DENIED ROLE_USER
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Show voter details
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        \n
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        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
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        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
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Show voter details
7 DENIED edit
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        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
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        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
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        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
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      \n
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Show voter details
8 DENIED moderate
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        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
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        Support alternatives:\n
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        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
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        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
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        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
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11 DENIED edit
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        \n
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        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
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        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
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12 DENIED moderate
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        \n
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        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
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        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
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        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
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        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
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15 DENIED edit
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        \n
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        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
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16 DENIED moderate
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        \n
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        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
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        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
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        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
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        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
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20 DENIED moderate
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        \n
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        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
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        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
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22 DENIED moderate
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        \n
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        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
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        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
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28 DENIED moderate
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        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
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  +body: "Lost out on a good job opportunity with this one. I was going to do some interview prep and someone just told me to, “be yourself, they just want to get to know you.” Yeah bullshit… didn’t get that gig and did interview prep for a different opportunity. It went incredibly well the second time around."
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        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
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        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
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      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
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    As long-term career advice, I think this is helpful In finding something that doesn’t drag you down. If you can’t be yourself at work it’s going to be far more taxing.\n
    \n
    But I absolutely understand this is a luxury to be able to be in that position of being choosy about your employer.\n
    \n
    You’ll be far happier in an environment that enjoys you for being you, but you’ll find a job quicker by saying what they want to hear
    """
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Show voter details
31 DENIED edit
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        \n
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        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
        \n
        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
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        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
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    +image: null
    +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#1912 …}
    +slug: "What-is-the-most-unhelpful-advice-you-have-received"
    +title: "What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?"
    +url: null
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      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
      \n
      Also: Responding to “How do I deal with this problem?” questions with “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s enough that you’re even thinking about it!”
      """
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    +body: "Lost out on a good job opportunity with this one. I was going to do some interview prep and someone just told me to, “be yourself, they just want to get to know you.” Yeah bullshit… didn’t get that gig and did interview prep for a different opportunity. It went incredibly well the second time around."
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    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1689382950 {#5004
      date: 2023-07-15 03:02:30.0 +02:00
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  +root: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4039}
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    As long-term career advice, I think this is helpful In finding something that doesn’t drag you down. If you can’t be yourself at work it’s going to be far more taxing.\n
    \n
    But I absolutely understand this is a luxury to be able to be in that position of being choosy about your employer.\n
    \n
    You’ll be far happier in an environment that enjoys you for being you, but you’ll find a job quicker by saying what they want to hear
    """
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    "@soot_guy@lemmy.world"
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ACCESS DENIED
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
32 DENIED moderate
App\Entity\EntryComment {#5216
  +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#5100 …}
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      +icon: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Image {#247 …}
      +name: "asklemmy@lemmy.ml"
      +title: "asklemmy"
      +description: """
        A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions\n
        \n
        **[Search asklemmy](https://lemmy.ml/search?q=&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=8&page=1&sort=TopAll) 🔍**\n
        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
        \n
        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
        \n
        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
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      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
      \n
      Also: Responding to “How do I deal with this problem?” questions with “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s enough that you’re even thinking about it!”
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        Just be yourself.\n
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        Oh yeah ok. Thanks. That fixes everything.
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  }
  +root: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4039}
  +body: """
    As long-term career advice, I think this is helpful In finding something that doesn’t drag you down. If you can’t be yourself at work it’s going to be far more taxing.\n
    \n
    But I absolutely understand this is a luxury to be able to be in that position of being choosy about your employer.\n
    \n
    You’ll be far happier in an environment that enjoys you for being you, but you’ll find a job quicker by saying what they want to hear
    """
  +lang: "en"
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}
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
33 DENIED ROLE_USER
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
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"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
34 DENIED moderate
App\Entity\EntryComment {#5022
  +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#5023 …}
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    +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1943 …}
    +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266
      +icon: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Image {#247 …}
      +name: "asklemmy@lemmy.ml"
      +title: "asklemmy"
      +description: """
        A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions\n
        \n
        **[Search asklemmy](https://lemmy.ml/search?q=&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=8&page=1&sort=TopAll) 🔍**\n
        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
        \n
        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
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        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
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        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
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        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
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        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
        \n
        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
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Show voter details
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        \n
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        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
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Show voter details
43 DENIED edit
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        \n
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        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
        \n
        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
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Show voter details
44 DENIED moderate
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        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
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47 DENIED edit
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        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
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50 DENIED moderate
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        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
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51 DENIED edit
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        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
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52 DENIED moderate
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        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
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        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
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ACCESS DENIED
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
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Show voter details
53 DENIED ROLE_USER
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54 DENIED moderate
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        \n
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        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
        \n
        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
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        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
        """
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    +root: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4197}
    +body: "The problem is that when the people giving that advice were working, it was great advice. Companies took care of their employees. Tenure mattered. Companies today are mindless corporate blobs that only care about spreadsheet numbers and the next quarter’s results."
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  +body: "Maybe in some situations in the past owners were better to their workers, but in many cases there is an unbroken line of exploitation going back in the past. The idea that exploitation is an extremely new phenomenon benefits the owning class by concealing the long and bloody history of proletarian struggles."
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Show voter details
55 DENIED edit
App\Entity\EntryComment {#5303
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      +name: "asklemmy@lemmy.ml"
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        A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions\n
        \n
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        \n
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        \n
        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
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        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
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      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
      \n
      Also: Responding to “How do I deal with this problem?” questions with “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s enough that you’re even thinking about it!”
      """
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56 DENIED moderate
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        \n
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        \n
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        \n
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        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
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        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
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    +title: "What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?"
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      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
      \n
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      """
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        +body: "Get an advanced education, work harder, never be the one to say, “That is not my job” was the worst advice I could ever receive. I got into debt and was abused and exploited by my employers."
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Show voter details
57 DENIED ROLE_USER
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58 DENIED moderate
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        \n
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        \n
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        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
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        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
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        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
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    +slug: "What-is-the-most-unhelpful-advice-you-have-received"
    +title: "What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?"
    +url: null
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      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
      \n
      Also: Responding to “How do I deal with this problem?” questions with “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s enough that you’re even thinking about it!”
      """
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
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Show voter details
59 DENIED edit
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        A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions\n
        \n
        **[Search asklemmy](https://lemmy.ml/search?q=&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=8&page=1&sort=TopAll) 🔍**\n
        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
        \n
        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
        \n
        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
        """
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      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
      \n
      Also: Responding to “How do I deal with this problem?” questions with “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s enough that you’re even thinking about it!”
      """
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      +root: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4197}
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    +body: "Maybe in some situations in the past owners were better to their workers, but in many cases there is an unbroken line of exploitation going back in the past. The idea that exploitation is an extremely new phenomenon benefits the owning class by concealing the long and bloody history of proletarian struggles."
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
60 DENIED moderate
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        \n
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        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
        \n
        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
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        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
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    +slug: "What-is-the-most-unhelpful-advice-you-have-received"
    +title: "What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?"
    +url: null
    +body: """
      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
      \n
      Also: Responding to “How do I deal with this problem?” questions with “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s enough that you’re even thinking about it!”
      """
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          +body: "Get an advanced education, work harder, never be the one to say, “That is not my job” was the worst advice I could ever receive. I got into debt and was abused and exploited by my employers."
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      +root: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4197}
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Show voter details
61 DENIED ROLE_USER
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Show voter details
62 DENIED moderate
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        \n
        **[Search asklemmy](https://lemmy.ml/search?q=&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=8&page=1&sort=TopAll) 🔍**\n
        \n
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        \n
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        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
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        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
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    +slug: "What-is-the-most-unhelpful-advice-you-have-received"
    +title: "What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?"
    +url: null
    +body: """
      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
      \n
      Also: Responding to “How do I deal with this problem?” questions with “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s enough that you’re even thinking about it!”
      """
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        date: 2023-07-15 01:55:57.0 +02:00
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
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Show voter details
63 DENIED edit
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        A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions\n
        \n
        **[Search asklemmy](https://lemmy.ml/search?q=&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=8&page=1&sort=TopAll) 🔍**\n
        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
        \n
        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
        \n
        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
        """
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      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
      \n
      Also: Responding to “How do I deal with this problem?” questions with “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s enough that you’re even thinking about it!”
      """
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        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
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          +body: "Get an advanced education, work harder, never be the one to say, “That is not my job” was the worst advice I could ever receive. I got into debt and was abused and exploited by my employers."
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        \n
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        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
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        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
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      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
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    Some of that advice is true … work hard, work at something all the time and do your best … but always for yourself and your well being and for your own self and your family.\n
    \n
    I’m Indigenous Canadian and this is what all my family did including me. I worked for myself all my life … building, construction, renos, fixing stuff, building stuff all the time … I did some work for companies and businesses but always with the idea that I wouldn’t work more than I had to and only to gain a bit more money to move on as soon as possible.\n
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    Some of that advice is true … work hard, work at something all the time and do your best … but always for yourself and your well being and for your own self and your family.\n
    \n
    I’m Indigenous Canadian and this is what all my family did including me. I worked for myself all my life … building, construction, renos, fixing stuff, building stuff all the time … I did some work for companies and businesses but always with the idea that I wouldn’t work more than I had to and only to gain a bit more money to move on as soon as possible.\n
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68 DENIED moderate
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        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
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        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
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      date: 2023-07-15 01:43:24.0 +02:00
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  +root: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4197}
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    Some of that advice is true … work hard, work at something all the time and do your best … but always for yourself and your well being and for your own self and your family.\n
    \n
    I’m Indigenous Canadian and this is what all my family did including me. I worked for myself all my life … building, construction, renos, fixing stuff, building stuff all the time … I did some work for companies and businesses but always with the idea that I wouldn’t work more than I had to and only to gain a bit more money to move on as soon as possible.\n
    \n
    Twenty five years later … I own three properties, multiple old vehicles that I maintain myself and I own everything I have without debt … I’m not the wealthiest but I am debt free and have a healthy savings and I still work for myself gaining a bit more every time .
    """
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    date: 2023-07-15 03:06:23.0 +02:00
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}
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
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"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
69 DENIED ROLE_USER
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"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
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"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
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Show voter details
70 DENIED moderate
App\Entity\EntryComment {#5246
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    +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266
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      +name: "asklemmy@lemmy.ml"
      +title: "asklemmy"
      +description: """
        A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions\n
        \n
        **[Search asklemmy](https://lemmy.ml/search?q=&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=8&page=1&sort=TopAll) 🔍**\n
        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
        \n
        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
        \n
        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
        """
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    +title: "What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?"
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      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
      \n
      Also: Responding to “How do I deal with this problem?” questions with “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s enough that you’re even thinking about it!”
      """
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      +body: "Get an advanced education, work harder, never be the one to say, “That is not my job” was the worst advice I could ever receive. I got into debt and was abused and exploited by my employers."
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        date: 2023-07-15 01:43:24.0 +02:00
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    }
    +root: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4197}
    +body: """
      Some of that advice is true … work hard, work at something all the time and do your best … but always for yourself and your well being and for your own self and your family.\n
      \n
      I’m Indigenous Canadian and this is what all my family did including me. I worked for myself all my life … building, construction, renos, fixing stuff, building stuff all the time … I did some work for companies and businesses but always with the idea that I wouldn’t work more than I had to and only to gain a bit more money to move on as soon as possible.\n
      \n
      Twenty five years later … I own three properties, multiple old vehicles that I maintain myself and I own everything I have without debt … I’m not the wealthiest but I am debt free and have a healthy savings and I still work for myself gaining a bit more every time .
      """
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      "@ablackcatstail@lemmy.goblackcat.com"
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      date: 2023-07-15 03:06:23.0 +02:00
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  }
  +root: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4197}
  +body: "Your experience is the *exception* rather than the rule. It’s been shown that rags to riches is a myth perpetrated by capitalism. At one time I had your level of success. It was all taken from me when I became disabled. As a Canadian, you have the distinct advantage of at least some social welfare assistance whereas your neighbor to the south has virtually none."
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}
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Show voter details
71 DENIED edit
App\Entity\EntryComment {#5246
  +user: App\Entity\User {#4210 …}
  +entry: App\Entity\Entry {#2388
    +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1943 …}
    +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266
      +icon: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Image {#247 …}
      +name: "asklemmy@lemmy.ml"
      +title: "asklemmy"
      +description: """
        A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions\n
        \n
        **[Search asklemmy](https://lemmy.ml/search?q=&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=8&page=1&sort=TopAll) 🔍**\n
        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
        \n
        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
        \n
        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
        """
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    +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#1912 …}
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    +title: "What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?"
    +url: null
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      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
      \n
      Also: Responding to “How do I deal with this problem?” questions with “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s enough that you’re even thinking about it!”
      """
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      date: 2023-07-15 01:39:38.0 +02:00
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      Some of that advice is true … work hard, work at something all the time and do your best … but always for yourself and your well being and for your own self and your family.\n
      \n
      I’m Indigenous Canadian and this is what all my family did including me. I worked for myself all my life … building, construction, renos, fixing stuff, building stuff all the time … I did some work for companies and businesses but always with the idea that I wouldn’t work more than I had to and only to gain a bit more money to move on as soon as possible.\n
      \n
      Twenty five years later … I own three properties, multiple old vehicles that I maintain myself and I own everything I have without debt … I’m not the wealthiest but I am debt free and have a healthy savings and I still work for myself gaining a bit more every time .
      """
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  +body: "Your experience is the *exception* rather than the rule. It’s been shown that rags to riches is a myth perpetrated by capitalism. At one time I had your level of success. It was all taken from me when I became disabled. As a Canadian, you have the distinct advantage of at least some social welfare assistance whereas your neighbor to the south has virtually none."
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
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"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
72 DENIED moderate
App\Entity\EntryComment {#5246
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      +name: "asklemmy@lemmy.ml"
      +title: "asklemmy"
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        A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions\n
        \n
        **[Search asklemmy](https://lemmy.ml/search?q=&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=8&page=1&sort=TopAll) 🔍**\n
        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
        \n
        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
        \n
        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
        """
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    +slug: "What-is-the-most-unhelpful-advice-you-have-received"
    +title: "What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?"
    +url: null
    +body: """
      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
      \n
      Also: Responding to “How do I deal with this problem?” questions with “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s enough that you’re even thinking about it!”
      """
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        date: 2023-07-15 01:43:24.0 +02:00
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    }
    +root: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4197}
    +body: """
      Some of that advice is true … work hard, work at something all the time and do your best … but always for yourself and your well being and for your own self and your family.\n
      \n
      I’m Indigenous Canadian and this is what all my family did including me. I worked for myself all my life … building, construction, renos, fixing stuff, building stuff all the time … I did some work for companies and businesses but always with the idea that I wouldn’t work more than I had to and only to gain a bit more money to move on as soon as possible.\n
      \n
      Twenty five years later … I own three properties, multiple old vehicles that I maintain myself and I own everything I have without debt … I’m not the wealthiest but I am debt free and have a healthy savings and I still work for myself gaining a bit more every time .
      """
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  +root: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4197}
  +body: "Your experience is the *exception* rather than the rule. It’s been shown that rags to riches is a myth perpetrated by capitalism. At one time I had your level of success. It was all taken from me when I became disabled. As a Canadian, you have the distinct advantage of at least some social welfare assistance whereas your neighbor to the south has virtually none."
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}
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
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ACCESS DENIED
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
73 DENIED ROLE_USER
null
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
74 DENIED moderate
App\Entity\EntryComment {#5331
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    +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1943 …}
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      +icon: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Image {#247 …}
      +name: "asklemmy@lemmy.ml"
      +title: "asklemmy"
      +description: """
        A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions\n
        \n
        **[Search asklemmy](https://lemmy.ml/search?q=&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=8&page=1&sort=TopAll) 🔍**\n
        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
        \n
        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
        \n
        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
        """
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    +slug: "What-is-the-most-unhelpful-advice-you-have-received"
    +title: "What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?"
    +url: null
    +body: """
      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
      \n
      Also: Responding to “How do I deal with this problem?” questions with “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s enough that you’re even thinking about it!”
      """
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        +image: null
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        +body: "Get an advanced education, work harder, never be the one to say, “That is not my job” was the worst advice I could ever receive. I got into debt and was abused and exploited by my employers."
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          date: 2023-07-15 01:43:24.0 +02:00
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        Some of that advice is true … work hard, work at something all the time and do your best … but always for yourself and your well being and for your own self and your family.\n
        \n
        I’m Indigenous Canadian and this is what all my family did including me. I worked for myself all my life … building, construction, renos, fixing stuff, building stuff all the time … I did some work for companies and businesses but always with the idea that I wouldn’t work more than I had to and only to gain a bit more money to move on as soon as possible.\n
        \n
        Twenty five years later … I own three properties, multiple old vehicles that I maintain myself and I own everything I have without debt … I’m not the wealthiest but I am debt free and have a healthy savings and I still work for myself gaining a bit more every time .
        """
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        date: 2023-07-15 03:06:23.0 +02:00
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    +body: "Your experience is the *exception* rather than the rule. It’s been shown that rags to riches is a myth perpetrated by capitalism. At one time I had your level of success. It was all taken from me when I became disabled. As a Canadian, you have the distinct advantage of at least some social welfare assistance whereas your neighbor to the south has virtually none."
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      date: 2023-07-15 03:12:05.0 +02:00
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  +root: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4197}
  +body: """
    I agree that the whole rags to riches idea is a complete sham that doesn’t exist … unless you are already born wealthy … and then that doesn’t make any sense because you never had rags to begin with.\n
    \n
    My story is more rags or bare clothing … I’m not wealthy … I just have enough to be comfortable … I’m not in debt and I drive old beater cars and trucks and never owned a new vehicle in my life … I bought small properties away from big city centers where land is cheap but living is hard\n
    \n
    And yes … I know most people are probably not capable of doing what I did … I grew up with lots of people in my situation and I was fortunate enough to figure a way out, mostly through the luck of finding the right partner who worked just as hard as me, parents who were great guides and teachers and a small network of family and friends I could count on.
    """
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"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
ACCESS DENIED
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
75 DENIED edit
App\Entity\EntryComment {#5331
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      +name: "asklemmy@lemmy.ml"
      +title: "asklemmy"
      +description: """
        A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions\n
        \n
        **[Search asklemmy](https://lemmy.ml/search?q=&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=8&page=1&sort=TopAll) 🔍**\n
        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
        \n
        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
        \n
        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
        """
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    +title: "What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?"
    +url: null
    +body: """
      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
      \n
      Also: Responding to “How do I deal with this problem?” questions with “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s enough that you’re even thinking about it!”
      """
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        +body: "Get an advanced education, work harder, never be the one to say, “That is not my job” was the worst advice I could ever receive. I got into debt and was abused and exploited by my employers."
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        +ranking: 0
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          date: 2023-07-15 01:43:24.0 +02:00
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      +root: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4197}
      +body: """
        Some of that advice is true … work hard, work at something all the time and do your best … but always for yourself and your well being and for your own self and your family.\n
        \n
        I’m Indigenous Canadian and this is what all my family did including me. I worked for myself all my life … building, construction, renos, fixing stuff, building stuff all the time … I did some work for companies and businesses but always with the idea that I wouldn’t work more than I had to and only to gain a bit more money to move on as soon as possible.\n
        \n
        Twenty five years later … I own three properties, multiple old vehicles that I maintain myself and I own everything I have without debt … I’m not the wealthiest but I am debt free and have a healthy savings and I still work for myself gaining a bit more every time .
        """
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    }
    +root: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4197}
    +body: "Your experience is the *exception* rather than the rule. It’s been shown that rags to riches is a myth perpetrated by capitalism. At one time I had your level of success. It was all taken from me when I became disabled. As a Canadian, you have the distinct advantage of at least some social welfare assistance whereas your neighbor to the south has virtually none."
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      "@ablackcatstail@lemmy.goblackcat.com"
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      date: 2023-07-15 03:12:05.0 +02:00
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  +root: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4197}
  +body: """
    I agree that the whole rags to riches idea is a complete sham that doesn’t exist … unless you are already born wealthy … and then that doesn’t make any sense because you never had rags to begin with.\n
    \n
    My story is more rags or bare clothing … I’m not wealthy … I just have enough to be comfortable … I’m not in debt and I drive old beater cars and trucks and never owned a new vehicle in my life … I bought small properties away from big city centers where land is cheap but living is hard\n
    \n
    And yes … I know most people are probably not capable of doing what I did … I grew up with lots of people in my situation and I was fortunate enough to figure a way out, mostly through the luck of finding the right partner who worked just as hard as me, parents who were great guides and teachers and a small network of family and friends I could count on.
    """
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    date: 2023-07-15 04:55:04.0 +02:00
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}
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ACCESS DENIED
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
76 DENIED moderate
App\Entity\EntryComment {#5331
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  +entry: App\Entity\Entry {#2388
    +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1943 …}
    +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266
      +icon: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Image {#247 …}
      +name: "asklemmy@lemmy.ml"
      +title: "asklemmy"
      +description: """
        A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions\n
        \n
        **[Search asklemmy](https://lemmy.ml/search?q=&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=8&page=1&sort=TopAll) 🔍**\n
        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
        \n
        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
        \n
        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
        """
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    +image: null
    +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#1912 …}
    +slug: "What-is-the-most-unhelpful-advice-you-have-received"
    +title: "What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?"
    +url: null
    +body: """
      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
      \n
      Also: Responding to “How do I deal with this problem?” questions with “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s enough that you’re even thinking about it!”
      """
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      date: 2023-07-15 01:39:38.0 +02:00
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    +image: null
    +parent: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4958
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      +parent: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4197
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        +entry: App\Entity\Entry {#2388}
        +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266}
        +image: null
        +parent: null
        +root: null
        +body: "Get an advanced education, work harder, never be the one to say, “That is not my job” was the worst advice I could ever receive. I got into debt and was abused and exploited by my employers."
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          "@axolittl@lemmy.world"
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        -id: 16985
        -bodyTs: "'abus':32 'advanc':3 'advic':21 'could':23 'debt':29 'educ':4 'employ':37 'ever':24 'exploit':34 'get':1 'got':27 'harder':6 'job':17 'never':7 'one':10 'receiv':25 'say':12 'work':5 'worst':20"
        +ranking: 0
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        +editedAt: null
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          date: 2023-07-15 01:43:24.0 +02:00
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      }
      +root: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4197}
      +body: """
        Some of that advice is true … work hard, work at something all the time and do your best … but always for yourself and your well being and for your own self and your family.\n
        \n
        I’m Indigenous Canadian and this is what all my family did including me. I worked for myself all my life … building, construction, renos, fixing stuff, building stuff all the time … I did some work for companies and businesses but always with the idea that I wouldn’t work more than I had to and only to gain a bit more money to move on as soon as possible.\n
        \n
        Twenty five years later … I own three properties, multiple old vehicles that I maintain myself and I own everything I have without debt … I’m not the wealthiest but I am debt free and have a healthy savings and I still work for myself gaining a bit more every time .
        """
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        "@ablackcatstail@lemmy.goblackcat.com"
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    }
    +root: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4197}
    +body: "Your experience is the *exception* rather than the rule. It’s been shown that rags to riches is a myth perpetrated by capitalism. At one time I had your level of success. It was all taken from me when I became disabled. As a Canadian, you have the distinct advantage of at least some social welfare assistance whereas your neighbor to the south has virtually none."
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      "@ablackcatstail@lemmy.goblackcat.com"
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    +ranking: 0
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      date: 2023-07-15 03:12:05.0 +02:00
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  }
  +root: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4197}
  +body: """
    I agree that the whole rags to riches idea is a complete sham that doesn’t exist … unless you are already born wealthy … and then that doesn’t make any sense because you never had rags to begin with.\n
    \n
    My story is more rags or bare clothing … I’m not wealthy … I just have enough to be comfortable … I’m not in debt and I drive old beater cars and trucks and never owned a new vehicle in my life … I bought small properties away from big city centers where land is cheap but living is hard\n
    \n
    And yes … I know most people are probably not capable of doing what I did … I grew up with lots of people in my situation and I was fortunate enough to figure a way out, mostly through the luck of finding the right partner who worked just as hard as me, parents who were great guides and teachers and a small network of family and friends I could count on.
    """
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    "@ablackcatstail@lemmy.goblackcat.com"
    "@ininewcrow@lemmy.ca"
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    date: 2023-07-15 04:55:04.0 +02:00
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}
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"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
77 DENIED ROLE_USER
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"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
78 DENIED moderate
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        A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions\n
        \n
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        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
        \n
        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
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        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
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      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
      \n
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      """
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      Some of that advice is true … work hard, work at something all the time and do your best … but always for yourself and your well being and for your own self and your family.\n
      \n
      I’m Indigenous Canadian and this is what all my family did including me. I worked for myself all my life … building, construction, renos, fixing stuff, building stuff all the time … I did some work for companies and businesses but always with the idea that I wouldn’t work more than I had to and only to gain a bit more money to move on as soon as possible.\n
      \n
      Twenty five years later … I own three properties, multiple old vehicles that I maintain myself and I own everything I have without debt … I’m not the wealthiest but I am debt free and have a healthy savings and I still work for myself gaining a bit more every time .
      """
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    I have a less impressive, but similar story to yours. I’d say it’s fine to work hard and do work that’s not your job, but the key is to follow through by demanding the proper acknowledgement and gratification for it. Like, doing it for free a couple of times to be nice is fine, but after that, the value you bring with this has to be properly acknowledged and compensated.\n
    \n
    If you’ve been working hard and helping out, and an employer doesn’t gratify you to that value, the proper response is not to give up and pin it on hard work being the problem. That employer is being the problem. Try to change that if you can at all.
    """
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
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Show voter details
79 DENIED edit
App\Entity\EntryComment {#5261
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      +name: "asklemmy@lemmy.ml"
      +title: "asklemmy"
      +description: """
        A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions\n
        \n
        **[Search asklemmy](https://lemmy.ml/search?q=&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=8&page=1&sort=TopAll) 🔍**\n
        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
        \n
        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
        \n
        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
        """
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    +slug: "What-is-the-most-unhelpful-advice-you-have-received"
    +title: "What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?"
    +url: null
    +body: """
      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
      \n
      Also: Responding to “How do I deal with this problem?” questions with “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s enough that you’re even thinking about it!”
      """
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        date: 2023-07-15 01:43:24.0 +02:00
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    +root: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4197}
    +body: """
      Some of that advice is true … work hard, work at something all the time and do your best … but always for yourself and your well being and for your own self and your family.\n
      \n
      I’m Indigenous Canadian and this is what all my family did including me. I worked for myself all my life … building, construction, renos, fixing stuff, building stuff all the time … I did some work for companies and businesses but always with the idea that I wouldn’t work more than I had to and only to gain a bit more money to move on as soon as possible.\n
      \n
      Twenty five years later … I own three properties, multiple old vehicles that I maintain myself and I own everything I have without debt … I’m not the wealthiest but I am debt free and have a healthy savings and I still work for myself gaining a bit more every time .
      """
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      date: 2023-07-15 03:06:23.0 +02:00
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  }
  +root: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4197}
  +body: """
    I have a less impressive, but similar story to yours. I’d say it’s fine to work hard and do work that’s not your job, but the key is to follow through by demanding the proper acknowledgement and gratification for it. Like, doing it for free a couple of times to be nice is fine, but after that, the value you bring with this has to be properly acknowledged and compensated.\n
    \n
    If you’ve been working hard and helping out, and an employer doesn’t gratify you to that value, the proper response is not to give up and pin it on hard work being the problem. That employer is being the problem. Try to change that if you can at all.
    """
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80 DENIED moderate
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        A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions\n
        \n
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        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
        \n
        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
        \n
        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
        """
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    +title: "What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?"
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      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
      \n
      Also: Responding to “How do I deal with this problem?” questions with “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s enough that you’re even thinking about it!”
      """
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      date: 2023-07-15 01:39:38.0 +02:00
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      +body: "Get an advanced education, work harder, never be the one to say, “That is not my job” was the worst advice I could ever receive. I got into debt and was abused and exploited by my employers."
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    +body: """
      Some of that advice is true … work hard, work at something all the time and do your best … but always for yourself and your well being and for your own self and your family.\n
      \n
      I’m Indigenous Canadian and this is what all my family did including me. I worked for myself all my life … building, construction, renos, fixing stuff, building stuff all the time … I did some work for companies and businesses but always with the idea that I wouldn’t work more than I had to and only to gain a bit more money to move on as soon as possible.\n
      \n
      Twenty five years later … I own three properties, multiple old vehicles that I maintain myself and I own everything I have without debt … I’m not the wealthiest but I am debt free and have a healthy savings and I still work for myself gaining a bit more every time .
      """
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  +body: """
    I have a less impressive, but similar story to yours. I’d say it’s fine to work hard and do work that’s not your job, but the key is to follow through by demanding the proper acknowledgement and gratification for it. Like, doing it for free a couple of times to be nice is fine, but after that, the value you bring with this has to be properly acknowledged and compensated.\n
    \n
    If you’ve been working hard and helping out, and an employer doesn’t gratify you to that value, the proper response is not to give up and pin it on hard work being the problem. That employer is being the problem. Try to change that if you can at all.
    """
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Show voter details
81 DENIED ROLE_USER
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Show voter details
82 DENIED moderate
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      +name: "asklemmy@lemmy.ml"
      +title: "asklemmy"
      +description: """
        A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions\n
        \n
        **[Search asklemmy](https://lemmy.ml/search?q=&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=8&page=1&sort=TopAll) 🔍**\n
        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
        \n
        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
        \n
        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
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    +title: "What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?"
    +url: null
    +body: """
      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
      \n
      Also: Responding to “How do I deal with this problem?” questions with “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s enough that you’re even thinking about it!”
      """
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  +body: """
    Back as a young fella, striking out in the dating market a bunch ...\n
    \n
    "Just be yourself!"\n
    \n
    No, honestly, that was the problem last time - I was looking for something a little more granular and actionable.\n
    \n
    This is one of those helpful and encouraging things that people say without necessarily really thinking it through. Deep down in intent, they're right - you can't fake your way to healthy relationships, being insincere or putting on a performance of being someone you're not isn't going anywhere genuine down the road. Absolutely correct, absolutely great advice - but it's never given in sufficient complexity and depth to be useful.\n
    \n
    None of those grown-ups were like "Ah yes, definitely be sincere about who you are - but also don't spend a whole date monologuing about the book you just read or your favourite video game."\n
    \n
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        \n
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        \n
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        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
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        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
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      \n
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    \n
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    That you can be genuine and sincere about who you are, while still using your social skills and putting your best foot forward socially just ... didn't occur. At the time, my understanding was that it was a hard binary - either I was 100% me at 100% volume and whatever came out of my mouth was definitely the best thing I could say, or I was stifling myself and being 'fake' in order to build an equally-fake relationship.\n
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84 DENIED moderate
App\Entity\EntryComment {#4272
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      +name: "asklemmy@lemmy.ml"
      +title: "asklemmy"
      +description: """
        A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions\n
        \n
        **[Search asklemmy](https://lemmy.ml/search?q=&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=8&page=1&sort=TopAll) 🔍**\n
        \n
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        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
        \n
        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
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      \n
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    Back as a young fella, striking out in the dating market a bunch ...\n
    \n
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    """
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        \n
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        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
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        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
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      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
      \n
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      Back as a young fella, striking out in the dating market a bunch ...\n
      \n
      "Just be yourself!"\n
      \n
      No, honestly, that was the problem last time - I was looking for something a little more granular and actionable.\n
      \n
      This is one of those helpful and encouraging things that people say without necessarily really thinking it through. Deep down in intent, they're right - you can't fake your way to healthy relationships, being insincere or putting on a performance of being someone you're not isn't going anywhere genuine down the road. Absolutely correct, absolutely great advice - but it's never given in sufficient complexity and depth to be useful.\n
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      None of those grown-ups were like "Ah yes, definitely be sincere about who you are - but also don't spend a whole date monologuing about the book you just read or your favourite video game."\n
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      """
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  +body: "You make a good point about common advice often being too simplistic and generalized to be useful. And yeah, dating is rough. Glad you got better advice in the end."
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87 DENIED edit
App\Entity\EntryComment {#5068
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      +icon: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Image {#247 …}
      +name: "asklemmy@lemmy.ml"
      +title: "asklemmy"
      +description: """
        A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions\n
        \n
        **[Search asklemmy](https://lemmy.ml/search?q=&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=8&page=1&sort=TopAll) 🔍**\n
        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
        \n
        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
        \n
        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
        """
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      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
      \n
      Also: Responding to “How do I deal with this problem?” questions with “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s enough that you’re even thinking about it!”
      """
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    +body: """
      Back as a young fella, striking out in the dating market a bunch ...\n
      \n
      "Just be yourself!"\n
      \n
      No, honestly, that was the problem last time - I was looking for something a little more granular and actionable.\n
      \n
      This is one of those helpful and encouraging things that people say without necessarily really thinking it through. Deep down in intent, they're right - you can't fake your way to healthy relationships, being insincere or putting on a performance of being someone you're not isn't going anywhere genuine down the road. Absolutely correct, absolutely great advice - but it's never given in sufficient complexity and depth to be useful.\n
      \n
      None of those grown-ups were like "Ah yes, definitely be sincere about who you are - but also don't spend a whole date monologuing about the book you just read or your favourite video game."\n
      \n
      That you can be genuine and sincere about who you are, while still using your social skills and putting your best foot forward socially just ... didn't occur. At the time, my understanding was that it was a hard binary - either I was 100% me at 100% volume and whatever came out of my mouth was definitely the best thing I could say, or I was stifling myself and being 'fake' in order to build an equally-fake relationship.\n
      \n
      It took a friend's brother taking me aside to make it 'click' - he was holding a can or a bottle and was like "So the whole object is all 'real you' yeah? But any time you're talking to someone is like right now - you can only see the side that's facing you. It's all you, it's all honest, but you still want to show them the best side, the best angle, of the whole thing. Don't sprint straight to showing them all of your worst angle just because that's what's on your mind that day."
      """
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        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
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        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
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      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
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      Back as a young fella, striking out in the dating market a bunch ...\n
      \n
      "Just be yourself!"\n
      \n
      No, honestly, that was the problem last time - I was looking for something a little more granular and actionable.\n
      \n
      This is one of those helpful and encouraging things that people say without necessarily really thinking it through. Deep down in intent, they're right - you can't fake your way to healthy relationships, being insincere or putting on a performance of being someone you're not isn't going anywhere genuine down the road. Absolutely correct, absolutely great advice - but it's never given in sufficient complexity and depth to be useful.\n
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      """
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90 DENIED moderate
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        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
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        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
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    +cross: false
    +upVotes: 0
    +downVotes: 0
    +ranking: 1689464378
    +visibility: "visible             "
    +apId: "https://lemmy.world/post/1489618"
    +editedAt: null
    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1689377978 {#1850
      date: 2023-07-15 01:39:38.0 +02:00
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  +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266}
  +image: null
  +parent: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4272
    +user: App\Entity\User {#4285 …}
    +entry: App\Entity\Entry {#2388}
    +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266}
    +image: null
    +parent: null
    +root: null
    +body: """
      Back as a young fella, striking out in the dating market a bunch ...\n
      \n
      "Just be yourself!"\n
      \n
      No, honestly, that was the problem last time - I was looking for something a little more granular and actionable.\n
      \n
      This is one of those helpful and encouraging things that people say without necessarily really thinking it through. Deep down in intent, they're right - you can't fake your way to healthy relationships, being insincere or putting on a performance of being someone you're not isn't going anywhere genuine down the road. Absolutely correct, absolutely great advice - but it's never given in sufficient complexity and depth to be useful.\n
      \n
      None of those grown-ups were like "Ah yes, definitely be sincere about who you are - but also don't spend a whole date monologuing about the book you just read or your favourite video game."\n
      \n
      That you can be genuine and sincere about who you are, while still using your social skills and putting your best foot forward socially just ... didn't occur. At the time, my understanding was that it was a hard binary - either I was 100% me at 100% volume and whatever came out of my mouth was definitely the best thing I could say, or I was stifling myself and being 'fake' in order to build an equally-fake relationship.\n
      \n
      It took a friend's brother taking me aside to make it 'click' - he was holding a can or a bottle and was like "So the whole object is all 'real you' yeah? But any time you're talking to someone is like right now - you can only see the side that's facing you. It's all you, it's all honest, but you still want to show them the best side, the best angle, of the whole thing. Don't sprint straight to showing them all of your worst angle just because that's what's on your mind that day."
      """
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      date: 2023-07-15 04:46:44.0 +02:00
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      "@axolittl@lemmy.world"
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    +editedAt: null
    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1689381405 {#4268
      date: 2023-07-15 02:36:45.0 +02:00
    }
  }
  +root: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4272}
  +body: """
    Yeah, the simplistic “Just be yourself” advice doesn’t take into account the “If you don’t love me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best” type of attitude.\n
    \n
    It also bypasses the fact that “yourself” is such a fuzzy concept anyway. So because I’m bad at public speaking, that shouldn’t mean I should “be myself” and avoid it. I should merely be aware of my current limitations. That was an accurate way to describe myself in the past, but instead of accepting it, I worked on it, forced myself into a job that requires it, and now I’m pretty good at it.\n
    \n
    I think almost everyone can look back 10 years ago and think of some way they ended up changing. So with that being the case, who knows who we’ll be 10 years into the future? No need to anchor too hard on who we think we are right now, it’s valuable to also give consideration to the kind of person we want to be in the future and take action towards becoming that person.
    """
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  +isAdult: false
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    date: 2023-07-15 03:56:47.0 +02:00
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    "@Anomander@kbin.social"
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  +editedAt: null
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    date: 2023-07-15 03:56:47.0 +02:00
  }
}
"Scheb\TwoFactorBundle\Security\Authorization\Voter\TwoFactorInProgressVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
ACCESS DENIED
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
91 DENIED edit
App\Entity\EntryComment {#5083
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  +entry: App\Entity\Entry {#2388
    +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1943 …}
    +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266
      +icon: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Image {#247 …}
      +name: "asklemmy@lemmy.ml"
      +title: "asklemmy"
      +description: """
        A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions\n
        \n
        **[Search asklemmy](https://lemmy.ml/search?q=&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=8&page=1&sort=TopAll) 🔍**\n
        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
        \n
        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
        \n
        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
        """
      +rules: null
      +subscriptionsCount: 0
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      +customCss: null
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        date: 2023-07-19 08:31:44.0 +02:00
      }
      +markedForDeletionAt: null
      +tags: null
      +moderators: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#238 …}
      +ownershipRequests: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#234 …}
      +moderatorRequests: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#223 …}
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      +subscriptions: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#201 …}
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      +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#104 …}
      +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#82 …}
      +logs: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#72 …}
      +awards: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#61 …}
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      -id: 9
      +apId: "asklemmy@lemmy.ml"
      +apProfileId: "https://lemmy.ml/c/asklemmy"
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      +apInboxUrl: "https://lemmy.ml/inbox"
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      +apPreferredUsername: "asklemmy"
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        date: 2023-07-19 08:19:56.0 +02:00
      }
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      +visibility: "visible             "
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        date: 2023-06-16 06:28:27.0 +02:00
      }
    }
    +image: null
    +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#1912 …}
    +slug: "What-is-the-most-unhelpful-advice-you-have-received"
    +title: "What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?"
    +url: null
    +body: """
      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
      \n
      Also: Responding to “How do I deal with this problem?” questions with “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s enough that you’re even thinking about it!”
      """
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    +comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1866 …}
    +votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1978 …}
    +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1946 …}
    +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#1971 …}
    +notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2443 …}
    +badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2426 …}
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    +visibility: "visible             "
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      date: 2023-07-15 01:39:38.0 +02:00
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  +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266}
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    +user: App\Entity\User {#4285 …}
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    +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266}
    +image: null
    +parent: null
    +root: null
    +body: """
      Back as a young fella, striking out in the dating market a bunch ...\n
      \n
      "Just be yourself!"\n
      \n
      No, honestly, that was the problem last time - I was looking for something a little more granular and actionable.\n
      \n
      This is one of those helpful and encouraging things that people say without necessarily really thinking it through. Deep down in intent, they're right - you can't fake your way to healthy relationships, being insincere or putting on a performance of being someone you're not isn't going anywhere genuine down the road. Absolutely correct, absolutely great advice - but it's never given in sufficient complexity and depth to be useful.\n
      \n
      None of those grown-ups were like "Ah yes, definitely be sincere about who you are - but also don't spend a whole date monologuing about the book you just read or your favourite video game."\n
      \n
      That you can be genuine and sincere about who you are, while still using your social skills and putting your best foot forward socially just ... didn't occur. At the time, my understanding was that it was a hard binary - either I was 100% me at 100% volume and whatever came out of my mouth was definitely the best thing I could say, or I was stifling myself and being 'fake' in order to build an equally-fake relationship.\n
      \n
      It took a friend's brother taking me aside to make it 'click' - he was holding a can or a bottle and was like "So the whole object is all 'real you' yeah? But any time you're talking to someone is like right now - you can only see the side that's facing you. It's all you, it's all honest, but you still want to show them the best side, the best angle, of the whole thing. Don't sprint straight to showing them all of your worst angle just because that's what's on your mind that day."
      """
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    +score: 0
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      date: 2023-07-15 04:46:44.0 +02:00
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    +ip: null
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    +mentions: [
      "@axolittl@lemmy.world"
    ]
    +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#4273 …}
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    +ranking: 0
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    +visibility: "visible             "
    +apId: "https://kbin.social/m/asklemmy@lemmy.ml/t/198275/-/comment/810642"
    +editedAt: null
    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1689381405 {#4268
      date: 2023-07-15 02:36:45.0 +02:00
    }
  }
  +root: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4272}
  +body: """
    Yeah, the simplistic “Just be yourself” advice doesn’t take into account the “If you don’t love me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best” type of attitude.\n
    \n
    It also bypasses the fact that “yourself” is such a fuzzy concept anyway. So because I’m bad at public speaking, that shouldn’t mean I should “be myself” and avoid it. I should merely be aware of my current limitations. That was an accurate way to describe myself in the past, but instead of accepting it, I worked on it, forced myself into a job that requires it, and now I’m pretty good at it.\n
    \n
    I think almost everyone can look back 10 years ago and think of some way they ended up changing. So with that being the case, who knows who we’ll be 10 years into the future? No need to anchor too hard on who we think we are right now, it’s valuable to also give consideration to the kind of person we want to be in the future and take action towards becoming that person.
    """
  +lang: "en"
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  +lastActive: DateTime @1689386207 {#5081
    date: 2023-07-15 03:56:47.0 +02:00
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    "@axolittl@lemmy.world"
    "@Anomander@kbin.social"
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  +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#5085 …}
  +nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#5087 …}
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  +reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#5091 …}
  +favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#5093 …}
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  -id: 17219
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  +ranking: 0
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  +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1689386207 {#5082
    date: 2023-07-15 03:56:47.0 +02:00
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}
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
ACCESS DENIED
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\OAuth2UserConsentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
92 DENIED moderate
App\Entity\EntryComment {#5083
  +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#5084 …}
  +entry: App\Entity\Entry {#2388
    +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1943 …}
    +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266
      +icon: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Image {#247 …}
      +name: "asklemmy@lemmy.ml"
      +title: "asklemmy"
      +description: """
        A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions\n
        \n
        **[Search asklemmy](https://lemmy.ml/search?q=&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=8&page=1&sort=TopAll) 🔍**\n
        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
        \n
        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
        \n
        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
        """
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    +slug: "What-is-the-most-unhelpful-advice-you-have-received"
    +title: "What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?"
    +url: null
    +body: """
      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
      \n
      Also: Responding to “How do I deal with this problem?” questions with “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s enough that you’re even thinking about it!”
      """
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      date: 2023-07-15 01:39:38.0 +02:00
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  +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266}
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    +entry: App\Entity\Entry {#2388}
    +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266}
    +image: null
    +parent: null
    +root: null
    +body: """
      Back as a young fella, striking out in the dating market a bunch ...\n
      \n
      "Just be yourself!"\n
      \n
      No, honestly, that was the problem last time - I was looking for something a little more granular and actionable.\n
      \n
      This is one of those helpful and encouraging things that people say without necessarily really thinking it through. Deep down in intent, they're right - you can't fake your way to healthy relationships, being insincere or putting on a performance of being someone you're not isn't going anywhere genuine down the road. Absolutely correct, absolutely great advice - but it's never given in sufficient complexity and depth to be useful.\n
      \n
      None of those grown-ups were like "Ah yes, definitely be sincere about who you are - but also don't spend a whole date monologuing about the book you just read or your favourite video game."\n
      \n
      That you can be genuine and sincere about who you are, while still using your social skills and putting your best foot forward socially just ... didn't occur. At the time, my understanding was that it was a hard binary - either I was 100% me at 100% volume and whatever came out of my mouth was definitely the best thing I could say, or I was stifling myself and being 'fake' in order to build an equally-fake relationship.\n
      \n
      It took a friend's brother taking me aside to make it 'click' - he was holding a can or a bottle and was like "So the whole object is all 'real you' yeah? But any time you're talking to someone is like right now - you can only see the side that's facing you. It's all you, it's all honest, but you still want to show them the best side, the best angle, of the whole thing. Don't sprint straight to showing them all of your worst angle just because that's what's on your mind that day."
      """
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    +editedAt: null
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      date: 2023-07-15 02:36:45.0 +02:00
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  }
  +root: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4272}
  +body: """
    Yeah, the simplistic “Just be yourself” advice doesn’t take into account the “If you don’t love me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best” type of attitude.\n
    \n
    It also bypasses the fact that “yourself” is such a fuzzy concept anyway. So because I’m bad at public speaking, that shouldn’t mean I should “be myself” and avoid it. I should merely be aware of my current limitations. That was an accurate way to describe myself in the past, but instead of accepting it, I worked on it, forced myself into a job that requires it, and now I’m pretty good at it.\n
    \n
    I think almost everyone can look back 10 years ago and think of some way they ended up changing. So with that being the case, who knows who we’ll be 10 years into the future? No need to anchor too hard on who we think we are right now, it’s valuable to also give consideration to the kind of person we want to be in the future and take action towards becoming that person.
    """
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    date: 2023-07-15 03:56:47.0 +02:00
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}
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      +icon: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Image {#247 …}
      +name: "asklemmy@lemmy.ml"
      +title: "asklemmy"
      +description: """
        A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions\n
        \n
        **[Search asklemmy](https://lemmy.ml/search?q=&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=8&page=1&sort=TopAll) 🔍**\n
        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
        \n
        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
        \n
        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
        """
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    +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#1912 …}
    +slug: "What-is-the-most-unhelpful-advice-you-have-received"
    +title: "What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?"
    +url: null
    +body: """
      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
      \n
      Also: Responding to “How do I deal with this problem?” questions with “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s enough that you’re even thinking about it!”
      """
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      date: 2023-07-15 01:39:38.0 +02:00
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    +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266}
    +image: null
    +parent: null
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    +body: """
      Back as a young fella, striking out in the dating market a bunch ...\n
      \n
      "Just be yourself!"\n
      \n
      No, honestly, that was the problem last time - I was looking for something a little more granular and actionable.\n
      \n
      This is one of those helpful and encouraging things that people say without necessarily really thinking it through. Deep down in intent, they're right - you can't fake your way to healthy relationships, being insincere or putting on a performance of being someone you're not isn't going anywhere genuine down the road. Absolutely correct, absolutely great advice - but it's never given in sufficient complexity and depth to be useful.\n
      \n
      None of those grown-ups were like "Ah yes, definitely be sincere about who you are - but also don't spend a whole date monologuing about the book you just read or your favourite video game."\n
      \n
      That you can be genuine and sincere about who you are, while still using your social skills and putting your best foot forward socially just ... didn't occur. At the time, my understanding was that it was a hard binary - either I was 100% me at 100% volume and whatever came out of my mouth was definitely the best thing I could say, or I was stifling myself and being 'fake' in order to build an equally-fake relationship.\n
      \n
      It took a friend's brother taking me aside to make it 'click' - he was holding a can or a bottle and was like "So the whole object is all 'real you' yeah? But any time you're talking to someone is like right now - you can only see the side that's facing you. It's all you, it's all honest, but you still want to show them the best side, the best angle, of the whole thing. Don't sprint straight to showing them all of your worst angle just because that's what's on your mind that day."
      """
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      date: 2023-07-15 04:46:44.0 +02:00
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      "@axolittl@lemmy.world"
    ]
    +children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#4273 …}
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    The problem is that “yourself” still comes out eventually. And sometimes it takes a long while to find “the one” because you kind of hid certain aspects from your partners for too long. This is generally why most of my longer-term relationships have failed. Too many “best faces forward” for too long, until one breaks that\n
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    I was mid 30s when I found the one that is “the one”. We had our first date in our work clothes, and had a conversation that would sound insane to any observers. For the last 5 years, I’ve never felt the need to hold anything back or change the way I talk about things, and I dont think she does either. Because we still have insane conversations
    """
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95 DENIED edit
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        \n
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        \n
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        \n
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        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
        \n
        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
        """
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    +title: "What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?"
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      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
      \n
      Also: Responding to “How do I deal with this problem?” questions with “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s enough that you’re even thinking about it!”
      """
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      Back as a young fella, striking out in the dating market a bunch ...\n
      \n
      "Just be yourself!"\n
      \n
      No, honestly, that was the problem last time - I was looking for something a little more granular and actionable.\n
      \n
      This is one of those helpful and encouraging things that people say without necessarily really thinking it through. Deep down in intent, they're right - you can't fake your way to healthy relationships, being insincere or putting on a performance of being someone you're not isn't going anywhere genuine down the road. Absolutely correct, absolutely great advice - but it's never given in sufficient complexity and depth to be useful.\n
      \n
      None of those grown-ups were like "Ah yes, definitely be sincere about who you are - but also don't spend a whole date monologuing about the book you just read or your favourite video game."\n
      \n
      That you can be genuine and sincere about who you are, while still using your social skills and putting your best foot forward socially just ... didn't occur. At the time, my understanding was that it was a hard binary - either I was 100% me at 100% volume and whatever came out of my mouth was definitely the best thing I could say, or I was stifling myself and being 'fake' in order to build an equally-fake relationship.\n
      \n
      It took a friend's brother taking me aside to make it 'click' - he was holding a can or a bottle and was like "So the whole object is all 'real you' yeah? But any time you're talking to someone is like right now - you can only see the side that's facing you. It's all you, it's all honest, but you still want to show them the best side, the best angle, of the whole thing. Don't sprint straight to showing them all of your worst angle just because that's what's on your mind that day."
      """
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    The problem is that “yourself” still comes out eventually. And sometimes it takes a long while to find “the one” because you kind of hid certain aspects from your partners for too long. This is generally why most of my longer-term relationships have failed. Too many “best faces forward” for too long, until one breaks that\n
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    """
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Show voter details
96 DENIED moderate
App\Entity\EntryComment {#5099
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      +name: "asklemmy@lemmy.ml"
      +title: "asklemmy"
      +description: """
        A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions\n
        \n
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        \n
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        \n
        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
        \n
        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
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    +title: "What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?"
    +url: null
    +body: """
      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
      \n
      Also: Responding to “How do I deal with this problem?” questions with “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s enough that you’re even thinking about it!”
      """
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    +body: """
      Back as a young fella, striking out in the dating market a bunch ...\n
      \n
      "Just be yourself!"\n
      \n
      No, honestly, that was the problem last time - I was looking for something a little more granular and actionable.\n
      \n
      This is one of those helpful and encouraging things that people say without necessarily really thinking it through. Deep down in intent, they're right - you can't fake your way to healthy relationships, being insincere or putting on a performance of being someone you're not isn't going anywhere genuine down the road. Absolutely correct, absolutely great advice - but it's never given in sufficient complexity and depth to be useful.\n
      \n
      None of those grown-ups were like "Ah yes, definitely be sincere about who you are - but also don't spend a whole date monologuing about the book you just read or your favourite video game."\n
      \n
      That you can be genuine and sincere about who you are, while still using your social skills and putting your best foot forward socially just ... didn't occur. At the time, my understanding was that it was a hard binary - either I was 100% me at 100% volume and whatever came out of my mouth was definitely the best thing I could say, or I was stifling myself and being 'fake' in order to build an equally-fake relationship.\n
      \n
      It took a friend's brother taking me aside to make it 'click' - he was holding a can or a bottle and was like "So the whole object is all 'real you' yeah? But any time you're talking to someone is like right now - you can only see the side that's facing you. It's all you, it's all honest, but you still want to show them the best side, the best angle, of the whole thing. Don't sprint straight to showing them all of your worst angle just because that's what's on your mind that day."
      """
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    The problem is that “yourself” still comes out eventually. And sometimes it takes a long while to find “the one” because you kind of hid certain aspects from your partners for too long. This is generally why most of my longer-term relationships have failed. Too many “best faces forward” for too long, until one breaks that\n
    \n
    I was mid 30s when I found the one that is “the one”. We had our first date in our work clothes, and had a conversation that would sound insane to any observers. For the last 5 years, I’ve never felt the need to hold anything back or change the way I talk about things, and I dont think she does either. Because we still have insane conversations
    """
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        \n
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        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
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        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
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      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
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        \n
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        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
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        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
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        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
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100 DENIED moderate
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        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
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        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
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  +body: "2 days ago we had a moving up ceremony, and the speaker said that the secret to a successful life is “Honor your parents and Honor God”. That advice wouldn’t apply to everyone…"
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Show voter details
102 DENIED moderate
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        \n
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        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
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        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
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Show voter details
103 DENIED edit
App\Entity\EntryComment {#4419
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        A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions\n
        \n
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        \n
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        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
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    “You just have to work through the pain.” I’ve injured myself multiple times in the past exercising by following this idiotic advice.\n
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        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
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        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
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    Unsolicited medical advice drives me nuts.\n
    \n
    Gee. Thanks “doctor” for your advice. Obviously I’m going to listen to you after you watched a three minute YouTube video and not the doctor with six years of medical training and education!
    """
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        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
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        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
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        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
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        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
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        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
        \n
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        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
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        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
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      Unsolicited medical advice drives me nuts.\n
      \n
      Gee. Thanks “doctor” for your advice. Obviously I’m going to listen to you after you watched a three minute YouTube video and not the doctor with six years of medical training and education!
      """
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  +body: """
    Yes, but have you tried this medical diet that cures all human illness? I mean, how do you really know until you've tried? You see what I'm saying?\n
    \n
    😑
    """
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        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
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        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
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        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
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        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
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        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
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        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
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Show voter details
126 DENIED moderate
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        \n
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        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
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        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
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Show voter details
127 DENIED edit
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        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
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        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
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      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
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    My brother, mid 2005.
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        \n
        **[Search asklemmy](https://lemmy.ml/search?q=&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=8&page=1&sort=TopAll) 🔍**\n
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        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
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130 DENIED moderate
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        \n
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        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
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        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
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        Support alternatives:\n
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        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
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        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
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        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
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        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
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        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
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139 DENIED edit
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        \n
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        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
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Show voter details
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        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
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        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
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Show voter details
141 DENIED ROLE_USER
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Show voter details
142 DENIED moderate
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        A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions\n
        \n
        **[Search asklemmy](https://lemmy.ml/search?q=&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=8&page=1&sort=TopAll) 🔍**\n
        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
        \n
        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
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        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
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    +title: "What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?"
    +url: null
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      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
      \n
      Also: Responding to “How do I deal with this problem?” questions with “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s enough that you’re even thinking about it!”
      """
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  +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266}
  +image: null
  +parent: App\Entity\EntryComment {#5315
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    +entry: App\Entity\Entry {#2388}
    +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266}
    +image: null
    +parent: App\Entity\EntryComment {#5231
      +user: App\Entity\User {#4653 …}
      +entry: App\Entity\Entry {#2388}
      +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266}
      +image: null
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        +user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#1943 …}
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          +image: null
          +parent: null
          +root: null
          +body: """
            “Get into the housing market while you can.”\n
            \n
            My brother, mid 2005.
            """
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            date: 2023-07-15 03:02:17.0 +02:00
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        +body: "oof."
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          date: 2023-07-15 03:04:04.0 +02:00
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      +body: "Yep. Bought a residence for $500k and two years later it was worth $330K."
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    +body: "How much is it worth now?"
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  +root: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4640}
  +body: "Sold it 5 years ago for somewhere in the 700s. So ultimately it turned out okay. But there was an extremely awkward period where I had to move out and would have sold if it wasn’t underwater. I wound up becoming a landlord for several years which I wouldn’t have chosen and felt pretty scummy but it did save me in the long run."
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryCommentVoter"
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"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MagazineVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
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Show voter details
143 DENIED edit
App\Entity\EntryComment {#5384
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        A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions\n
        \n
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        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
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        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
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        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
        \n
        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
        """
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    +slug: "What-is-the-most-unhelpful-advice-you-have-received"
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      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
      \n
      Also: Responding to “How do I deal with this problem?” questions with “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s enough that you’re even thinking about it!”
      """
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          +body: """
            “Get into the housing market while you can.”\n
            \n
            My brother, mid 2005.
            """
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            date: 2023-07-15 03:02:17.0 +02:00
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        +body: "oof."
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          date: 2023-07-15 03:04:04.0 +02:00
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      +root: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4640}
      +body: "Yep. Bought a residence for $500k and two years later it was worth $330K."
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  +body: "Sold it 5 years ago for somewhere in the 700s. So ultimately it turned out okay. But there was an extremely awkward period where I had to move out and would have sold if it wasn’t underwater. I wound up becoming a landlord for several years which I wouldn’t have chosen and felt pretty scummy but it did save me in the long run."
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144 DENIED moderate
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        \n
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        \n
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        \n
        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
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        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
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      \n
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            “Get into the housing market while you can.”\n
            \n
            My brother, mid 2005.
            """
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  +body: "Sold it 5 years ago for somewhere in the 700s. So ultimately it turned out okay. But there was an extremely awkward period where I had to move out and would have sold if it wasn’t underwater. I wound up becoming a landlord for several years which I wouldn’t have chosen and felt pretty scummy but it did save me in the long run."
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Show voter details
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        \n
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        \n
        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
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      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
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        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
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        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
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        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
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        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
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        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
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        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
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        Support alternatives:\n
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        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
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        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
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        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
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"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
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"App\Security\Voter\MessageVoter"
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"App\Security\Voter\NotificationVoter"
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Show voter details
164 DENIED moderate
App\Entity\EntryComment {#5038
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        A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions\n
        \n
        **[Search asklemmy](https://lemmy.ml/search?q=&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=8&page=1&sort=TopAll) 🔍**\n
        \n
        If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
        \n
        1. Open-ended\n
        2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
        3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
        4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
        5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
        \n
        Support alternatives:\n
        \n
        - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
        - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
        - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
        \n
        ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
        """
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    +image: null
    +domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#1912 …}
    +slug: "What-is-the-most-unhelpful-advice-you-have-received"
    +title: "What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?"
    +url: null
    +body: """
      I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.\n
      \n
      Also: Responding to “How do I deal with this problem?” questions with “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s enough that you’re even thinking about it!”
      """
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      date: 2023-07-15 01:39:38.0 +02:00
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  +parent: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4860
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    +magazine: App\Entity\Magazine {#266}
    +image: null
    +parent: null
    +root: null
    +body: """
      That since I was pregnant it was time to let my career go.\n
      \n
      My career is *critical* to my family’s ability to live a middle class life (and it’s critical to my sanity and happiness, but the person who gave me this “advice“ wasn’t really one for acknowledging or valuing mental health).
      """
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      date: 2023-07-15 02:33:12.0 +02:00
    }
    +createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1689381130 {#4856
      date: 2023-07-15 02:32:10.0 +02:00
    }
  }
  +root: App\Entity\EntryComment {#4860}
  +body: "That’s so rude. People make such wild assumptions about other people’s lives."
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}
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ACCESS DENIED
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details
165 DENIED edit
App\Entity\Magazine {#266
  +icon: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Image {#247 …}
  +name: "asklemmy@lemmy.ml"
  +title: "asklemmy"
  +description: """
    A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions\n
    \n
    **[Search asklemmy](https://lemmy.ml/search?q=&type=Posts&listingType=All&communityId=8&page=1&sort=TopAll) 🔍**\n
    \n
    If your post meets the following criteria, it’s welcome here!\n
    \n
    1. Open-ended\n
    2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions\n
    3. **Not regarding using or support for Lemmy**: [context](https://lemmy.ml/post/1223478), find help in the list of support alternatives below\n
    4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members\n
    5. [An actual topic of discussion](https://lemmy.ml/post/1239589)\n
    \n
    Support alternatives:\n
    \n
    - [!lemmy_support@lemmy.ml](https://lemmy.ml/c/lemmy_support)\n
    - [!nostupidlemmyquestions@lemmy.dbzer0.com](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/c/nostupidlemmyquestions)\n
    - [!selfhosted@lemmy.world](https://lemmy.world/c/selfhosted)\n
    \n
    ~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
    """
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ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\EntryVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
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ACCESS DENIED
"App\Security\Voter\MessageThreadVoter"
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"App\Security\Voter\PostCommentVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\PostVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
"App\Security\Voter\UserVoter"
ACCESS ABSTAIN
Show voter details