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2 |
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Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2303
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Show voter details
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edit
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Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2303
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Show voter details
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4 |
DENIED
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moderate
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Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2303
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5 |
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6 |
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moderate
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App\Entity\EntryComment {#2304
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Show voter details
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7 |
DENIED
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edit
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App\Entity\EntryComment {#2304
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|
Show voter details
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8 |
DENIED
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moderate
|
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2304
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|
Show voter details
|
9 |
DENIED
|
ROLE_USER
|
null |
|
Show voter details
|
10 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2175
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2674 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2045 …}
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+domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2702 …}
+slug: "Getting-braces-as-a-young-adult"
+title: "Getting braces as a young adult?"
+url: null
+body: """
Hello lemmies,\n
\n
Yesterday was a bit of a shocking moment for me as my dentists told me I need to get braces to fix the alignment of some of my teeth. For context; as a young kid (11years)I broke my four front teeth, and had them replaced with fake ones (i believe they are known as veneers in English). They are now slowly falling off, as I have had them for a while (I am now 24). But before they can put on new ones, they want me to straighten out the positioning of the current ones, with braces.\n
\n
Obviously this is the right choice, but I’ve always hated the thought of getting braces, especially this year as I will soon be starting work life and meeting new people.\n
\n
Was therefore wondering what experiences people have with braces, especially if you had it as an adult / young adult. Anything I should know for upfront?
"""
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+body: "Braces on adults are common enough that most people don’t care. There are options like Invisalign, ceramic or clear braces, and lingual braces (brackets behind the teeth) that you can ask about. If you work somewhere with a strict dress code you might want to stick to clear and white colored rubber bands, too. Though outside of that, people still won’t care and colored rubber bands are cute."
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Show voter details
|
11 |
DENIED
|
edit
|
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2175
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+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2045 …}
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Hello lemmies,\n
\n
Yesterday was a bit of a shocking moment for me as my dentists told me I need to get braces to fix the alignment of some of my teeth. For context; as a young kid (11years)I broke my four front teeth, and had them replaced with fake ones (i believe they are known as veneers in English). They are now slowly falling off, as I have had them for a while (I am now 24). But before they can put on new ones, they want me to straighten out the positioning of the current ones, with braces.\n
\n
Obviously this is the right choice, but I’ve always hated the thought of getting braces, especially this year as I will soon be starting work life and meeting new people.\n
\n
Was therefore wondering what experiences people have with braces, especially if you had it as an adult / young adult. Anything I should know for upfront?
"""
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…2
} |
|
Show voter details
|
12 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2175
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Hello lemmies,\n
\n
Yesterday was a bit of a shocking moment for me as my dentists told me I need to get braces to fix the alignment of some of my teeth. For context; as a young kid (11years)I broke my four front teeth, and had them replaced with fake ones (i believe they are known as veneers in English). They are now slowly falling off, as I have had them for a while (I am now 24). But before they can put on new ones, they want me to straighten out the positioning of the current ones, with braces.\n
\n
Obviously this is the right choice, but I’ve always hated the thought of getting braces, especially this year as I will soon be starting work life and meeting new people.\n
\n
Was therefore wondering what experiences people have with braces, especially if you had it as an adult / young adult. Anything I should know for upfront?
"""
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…2
} |
|
Show voter details
|
13 |
DENIED
|
ROLE_USER
|
null |
|
Show voter details
|
14 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2187
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Hello lemmies,\n
\n
Yesterday was a bit of a shocking moment for me as my dentists told me I need to get braces to fix the alignment of some of my teeth. For context; as a young kid (11years)I broke my four front teeth, and had them replaced with fake ones (i believe they are known as veneers in English). They are now slowly falling off, as I have had them for a while (I am now 24). But before they can put on new ones, they want me to straighten out the positioning of the current ones, with braces.\n
\n
Obviously this is the right choice, but I’ve always hated the thought of getting braces, especially this year as I will soon be starting work life and meeting new people.\n
\n
Was therefore wondering what experiences people have with braces, especially if you had it as an adult / young adult. Anything I should know for upfront?
"""
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} |
|
Show voter details
|
15 |
DENIED
|
edit
|
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2187
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+entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2175
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+slug: "Getting-braces-as-a-young-adult"
+title: "Getting braces as a young adult?"
+url: null
+body: """
Hello lemmies,\n
\n
Yesterday was a bit of a shocking moment for me as my dentists told me I need to get braces to fix the alignment of some of my teeth. For context; as a young kid (11years)I broke my four front teeth, and had them replaced with fake ones (i believe they are known as veneers in English). They are now slowly falling off, as I have had them for a while (I am now 24). But before they can put on new ones, they want me to straighten out the positioning of the current ones, with braces.\n
\n
Obviously this is the right choice, but I’ve always hated the thought of getting braces, especially this year as I will soon be starting work life and meeting new people.\n
\n
Was therefore wondering what experiences people have with braces, especially if you had it as an adult / young adult. Anything I should know for upfront?
"""
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} |
|
Show voter details
|
16 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2187
+user: App\Entity\User {#260 …}
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+body: """
Hello lemmies,\n
\n
Yesterday was a bit of a shocking moment for me as my dentists told me I need to get braces to fix the alignment of some of my teeth. For context; as a young kid (11years)I broke my four front teeth, and had them replaced with fake ones (i believe they are known as veneers in English). They are now slowly falling off, as I have had them for a while (I am now 24). But before they can put on new ones, they want me to straighten out the positioning of the current ones, with braces.\n
\n
Obviously this is the right choice, but I’ve always hated the thought of getting braces, especially this year as I will soon be starting work life and meeting new people.\n
\n
Was therefore wondering what experiences people have with braces, especially if you had it as an adult / young adult. Anything I should know for upfront?
"""
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…2
}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2045 …}
+image: null
+parent: null
+root: null
+body: "Braces on adults are common enough that most people don’t care. There are options like Invisalign, ceramic or clear braces, and lingual braces (brackets behind the teeth) that you can ask about. If you work somewhere with a strict dress code you might want to stick to clear and white colored rubber bands, too. Though outside of that, people still won’t care and colored rubber bands are cute."
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Show voter details
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17 |
DENIED
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ROLE_USER
|
null |
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Show voter details
|
18 |
DENIED
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moderate
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Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2298
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+title: "A friend offer me a investment opportunity at 15% annually, is it too good to be true ?"
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He was my coworker. I know him at work for years. It is unlikely he take money and run away.\n
\n
He ask me a loan to scale up his business, promised to pay 15% annually.\n
\n
His work is in manufactures industry, maybe B2B. He said he his business don’t depend on number of customer available. I don’t know. I am a salary man. I know nothing about business and investment.\n
\n
I haven’t ask him into the detail yet. I know nothing about this type of business. He seem confident, but I feel the 15% is so unlikely that will come with (hidden) risk. Maybe my friend is also a victim of another scam, or he just overconfident.\n
\n
People of Lemmy, I ask you, those who are investor and business owner: is >= 15% annually ROI possible ?
"""
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date: 2023-11-01 16:21:38.0 +01:00
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+__isInitialized__: true
…2
} |
|
Show voter details
|
19 |
DENIED
|
edit
|
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2298
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+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2045 …}
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He was my coworker. I know him at work for years. It is unlikely he take money and run away.\n
\n
He ask me a loan to scale up his business, promised to pay 15% annually.\n
\n
His work is in manufactures industry, maybe B2B. He said he his business don’t depend on number of customer available. I don’t know. I am a salary man. I know nothing about business and investment.\n
\n
I haven’t ask him into the detail yet. I know nothing about this type of business. He seem confident, but I feel the 15% is so unlikely that will come with (hidden) risk. Maybe my friend is also a victim of another scam, or he just overconfident.\n
\n
People of Lemmy, I ask you, those who are investor and business owner: is >= 15% annually ROI possible ?
"""
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…2
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|
Show voter details
|
20 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2298
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He was my coworker. I know him at work for years. It is unlikely he take money and run away.\n
\n
He ask me a loan to scale up his business, promised to pay 15% annually.\n
\n
His work is in manufactures industry, maybe B2B. He said he his business don’t depend on number of customer available. I don’t know. I am a salary man. I know nothing about business and investment.\n
\n
I haven’t ask him into the detail yet. I know nothing about this type of business. He seem confident, but I feel the 15% is so unlikely that will come with (hidden) risk. Maybe my friend is also a victim of another scam, or he just overconfident.\n
\n
People of Lemmy, I ask you, those who are investor and business owner: is >= 15% annually ROI possible ?
"""
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…2
} |
|
Show voter details
|
21 |
DENIED
|
ROLE_USER
|
null |
|
Show voter details
|
22 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2311
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He was my coworker. I know him at work for years. It is unlikely he take money and run away.\n
\n
He ask me a loan to scale up his business, promised to pay 15% annually.\n
\n
His work is in manufactures industry, maybe B2B. He said he his business don’t depend on number of customer available. I don’t know. I am a salary man. I know nothing about business and investment.\n
\n
I haven’t ask him into the detail yet. I know nothing about this type of business. He seem confident, but I feel the 15% is so unlikely that will come with (hidden) risk. Maybe my friend is also a victim of another scam, or he just overconfident.\n
\n
People of Lemmy, I ask you, those who are investor and business owner: is >= 15% annually ROI possible ?
"""
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+votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2320 …}
+reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2322 …}
+favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2312 …}
+notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2307 …}
-id: 82929
-bodyTs: "'abl':14 'back':6,17 'bank':8 'loan':9 'pay':5,16"
+ranking: 0
+commentCount: 0
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+editedAt: null
+createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1698856234 {#2299
date: 2023-11-01 17:30:34.0 +01:00
}
+"title": 82929
} |
|
Show voter details
|
23 |
DENIED
|
edit
|
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2311
+user: App\Entity\User {#260 …}
+entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2298
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2853 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2045 …}
+image: null
+domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2702 …}
+slug: "A-friend-offer-me-a-investment-opportunity-at-15-annually"
+title: "A friend offer me a investment opportunity at 15% annually, is it too good to be true ?"
+url: null
+body: """
He was my coworker. I know him at work for years. It is unlikely he take money and run away.\n
\n
He ask me a loan to scale up his business, promised to pay 15% annually.\n
\n
His work is in manufactures industry, maybe B2B. He said he his business don’t depend on number of customer available. I don’t know. I am a salary man. I know nothing about business and investment.\n
\n
I haven’t ask him into the detail yet. I know nothing about this type of business. He seem confident, but I feel the 15% is so unlikely that will come with (hidden) risk. Maybe my friend is also a victim of another scam, or he just overconfident.\n
\n
People of Lemmy, I ask you, those who are investor and business owner: is >= 15% annually ROI possible ?
"""
+type: "article"
+lang: "en"
+isOc: false
+hasEmbed: false
+commentCount: 39
+favouriteCount: 43
+score: 0
+isAdult: false
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+lastActive: DateTime @1711156880 {#2848
date: 2024-03-23 02:21:20.0 +01:00
}
+ip: null
+adaAmount: 0
+tags: null
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+comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2855 …}
+votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2857 …}
+reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2859 …}
+favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2861 …}
+notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2863 …}
+badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2865 …}
+children: [
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2311}
]
-id: 8943
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+cross: false
+upVotes: 0
+downVotes: 0
+ranking: 1698938498
+visibility: "visible "
+apId: "https://lemmy.world/post/7641766"
+editedAt: DateTimeImmutable @1698852173 {#2835
date: 2023-11-01 16:22:53.0 +01:00
}
+createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1698852098 {#2813
date: 2023-11-01 16:21:38.0 +01:00
}
+__isInitialized__: true
…2
}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2045 …}
+image: null
+parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#2293 …}
+root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#2291 …}
+body: "If he can’t pay back the bank loans, how will he be able to pay back yours?"
+lang: "en"
+isAdult: false
+favouriteCount: 14
+score: 0
+lastActive: DateTime @1698856234 {#2189
date: 2023-11-01 17:30:34.0 +01:00
}
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"@hahattpro@lemmy.world"
"@bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de"
]
+children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2309 …}
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-id: 82929
-bodyTs: "'abl':14 'back':6,17 'bank':8 'loan':9 'pay':5,16"
+ranking: 0
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+visibility: "visible "
+apId: "https://sopuli.xyz/comment/4230668"
+editedAt: null
+createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1698856234 {#2299
date: 2023-11-01 17:30:34.0 +01:00
}
+"title": 82929
} |
|
Show voter details
|
24 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2311
+user: App\Entity\User {#260 …}
+entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2298
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2853 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2045 …}
+image: null
+domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2702 …}
+slug: "A-friend-offer-me-a-investment-opportunity-at-15-annually"
+title: "A friend offer me a investment opportunity at 15% annually, is it too good to be true ?"
+url: null
+body: """
He was my coworker. I know him at work for years. It is unlikely he take money and run away.\n
\n
He ask me a loan to scale up his business, promised to pay 15% annually.\n
\n
His work is in manufactures industry, maybe B2B. He said he his business don’t depend on number of customer available. I don’t know. I am a salary man. I know nothing about business and investment.\n
\n
I haven’t ask him into the detail yet. I know nothing about this type of business. He seem confident, but I feel the 15% is so unlikely that will come with (hidden) risk. Maybe my friend is also a victim of another scam, or he just overconfident.\n
\n
People of Lemmy, I ask you, those who are investor and business owner: is >= 15% annually ROI possible ?
"""
+type: "article"
+lang: "en"
+isOc: false
+hasEmbed: false
+commentCount: 39
+favouriteCount: 43
+score: 0
+isAdult: false
+sticky: false
+lastActive: DateTime @1711156880 {#2848
date: 2024-03-23 02:21:20.0 +01:00
}
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+reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2859 …}
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+notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2863 …}
+badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2865 …}
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App\Entity\EntryComment {#2311}
]
-id: 8943
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+cross: false
+upVotes: 0
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+ranking: 1698938498
+visibility: "visible "
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+editedAt: DateTimeImmutable @1698852173 {#2835
date: 2023-11-01 16:22:53.0 +01:00
}
+createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1698852098 {#2813
date: 2023-11-01 16:21:38.0 +01:00
}
+__isInitialized__: true
…2
}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2045 …}
+image: null
+parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#2293 …}
+root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#2291 …}
+body: "If he can’t pay back the bank loans, how will he be able to pay back yours?"
+lang: "en"
+isAdult: false
+favouriteCount: 14
+score: 0
+lastActive: DateTime @1698856234 {#2189
date: 2023-11-01 17:30:34.0 +01:00
}
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"@hahattpro@lemmy.world"
"@bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de"
]
+children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2309 …}
+nested: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2302 …}
+votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2320 …}
+reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2322 …}
+favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2312 …}
+notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2307 …}
-id: 82929
-bodyTs: "'abl':14 'back':6,17 'bank':8 'loan':9 'pay':5,16"
+ranking: 0
+commentCount: 0
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+downVotes: 0
+visibility: "visible "
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+editedAt: null
+createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1698856234 {#2299
date: 2023-11-01 17:30:34.0 +01:00
}
+"title": 82929
} |
|
Show voter details
|
25 |
DENIED
|
ROLE_USER
|
null |
|
Show voter details
|
26 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2047
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2518 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2045 …}
+image: null
+domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2702 …}
+slug: "What-irritates-you-the-most-with-your-own-language"
+title: "What irritates you the most with your own language?"
+url: null
+body: """
Mine is people who separate words when they write. I’m Norwegian, and we can string together words indefinetly to make a new word. The never ending word may not make any sense, but it is gramatically correct\n
\n
Still, people write words the wrong way by separating them.\n
\n
Examples:\n
\n
- “Ananas ringer” means “the pineapple is calling” when written the wrong way. The correct way is “ananasringer” and it means “pineapple rings” (from a tin).\n
- “Prinsesse pult i vinkel” means “a princess fucked at an angle”. The correct way to write it is “prinsessepult i vinkel”, and it means “an angeled princess desk” (a desk for children, obviously)\n
- “Koke bøker” means “to cook books”. The correct way is “kokebøker” and means “cookbooks”\n
\n
I see these kinds of mistakes everywhere!
"""
+type: "article"
+lang: "en"
+isOc: false
+hasEmbed: false
+commentCount: 231
+favouriteCount: 205
+score: 0
+isAdult: true
+sticky: false
+lastActive: DateTime @1702943522 {#2998
date: 2023-12-19 00:52:02.0 +01:00
}
+ip: null
+adaAmount: 0
+tags: null
+mentions: null
+comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#3003 …}
+votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#3006 …}
+reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#3008 …}
+favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#3010 …}
+notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#3012 …}
+badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#3014 …}
+children: [
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2046
+user: App\Entity\User {#260 …}
+entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2047 …2}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2045 …}
+image: null
+parent: null
+root: null
+body: """
“Do you mind …” has been mis-answered for so long that yes means no. It’s hard to explain because written down, yes/no have different meanings, but when speaking to someone it depends on tone, context, and body language.\n
\n
“Do you mind if I take that seat”\n
\n
“No” “Yeah” depending on tone can both mean, “I’m fine with you taking that seat”. Most people will add on to make the intention clearer like, “Yeah, go ahead” but not always. Absolutely crazy.
"""
+lang: "en"
+isAdult: false
+favouriteCount: 14
+score: 0
+lastActive: DateTime @1697853048 {#2056
date: 2023-10-21 03:50:48.0 +02:00
}
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"@CurlyMoustache@lemmy.world"
]
+children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2057 …}
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+reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2053 …}
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+notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2104 …}
-id: 60047
-bodyTs: "'absolut':82 'add':68 'ahead':78 'alway':81 'answer':8 'bodi':39 'clearer':74 'context':37 'crazi':83 'depend':34,51 'differ':26 'explain':20 'fine':59 'go':77 'hard':18 'intent':73 'languag':40 'like':75 'long':11 'm':58 'make':71 'mean':14,27,56 'mind':3,43 'mis':7 'mis-answ':6 'peopl':66 'seat':48,64 'someon':32 'speak':30 'take':46,62 'tone':36,53 'written':22 'yeah':50,76 'yes':13 'yes/no':24"
+ranking: 0
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+upVotes: 0
+downVotes: 0
+visibility: "visible "
+apId: "https://sopuli.xyz/comment/3900018"
+editedAt: null
+createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1697752260 {#2059
date: 2023-10-19 23:51:00.0 +02:00
}
+"title": 60047
}
]
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-bodyTs: "'anana':50 'ananasring':66 'angel':100 'angl':85 'book':113 'bøker':109 'call':56 'children':106 'cook':112 'cookbook':121 'correct':38,63,87,115 'desk':102,104 'end':27 'everywher':128 'exampl':49 'fuck':82 'gramat':37 'indefinet':19 'kind':125 'koke':108 'kokebøk':118 'm':11 'make':21,31 'may':29 'mean':52,69,79,98,110,120 'mine':1 'mistak':127 'never':26 'new':23 'norwegian':12 'obvious':107 'peopl':3,40 'pineappl':54,70 'princess':81,101 'prinsess':75 'prinsessepult':93 'pult':76 'ring':71 'ringer':51 'see':123 'sens':33 'separ':5,47 'still':39 'string':16 'tin':74 'togeth':17 'vinkel':78,95 'way':45,61,64,88,116 'word':6,18,24,28,42 'write':9,41,90 'written':58 'wrong':44,60"
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+editedAt: DateTimeImmutable @1697726469 {#2986
date: 2023-10-19 16:41:09.0 +02:00
}
+createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1697726429 {#2964
date: 2023-10-19 16:40:29.0 +02:00
}
+__isInitialized__: true
…2
} |
|
Show voter details
|
27 |
DENIED
|
edit
|
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2047
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2518 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2045 …}
+image: null
+domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2702 …}
+slug: "What-irritates-you-the-most-with-your-own-language"
+title: "What irritates you the most with your own language?"
+url: null
+body: """
Mine is people who separate words when they write. I’m Norwegian, and we can string together words indefinetly to make a new word. The never ending word may not make any sense, but it is gramatically correct\n
\n
Still, people write words the wrong way by separating them.\n
\n
Examples:\n
\n
- “Ananas ringer” means “the pineapple is calling” when written the wrong way. The correct way is “ananasringer” and it means “pineapple rings” (from a tin).\n
- “Prinsesse pult i vinkel” means “a princess fucked at an angle”. The correct way to write it is “prinsessepult i vinkel”, and it means “an angeled princess desk” (a desk for children, obviously)\n
- “Koke bøker” means “to cook books”. The correct way is “kokebøker” and means “cookbooks”\n
\n
I see these kinds of mistakes everywhere!
"""
+type: "article"
+lang: "en"
+isOc: false
+hasEmbed: false
+commentCount: 231
+favouriteCount: 205
+score: 0
+isAdult: true
+sticky: false
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date: 2023-12-19 00:52:02.0 +01:00
}
+ip: null
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+favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#3010 …}
+notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#3012 …}
+badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#3014 …}
+children: [
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2046
+user: App\Entity\User {#260 …}
+entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2047 …2}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2045 …}
+image: null
+parent: null
+root: null
+body: """
“Do you mind …” has been mis-answered for so long that yes means no. It’s hard to explain because written down, yes/no have different meanings, but when speaking to someone it depends on tone, context, and body language.\n
\n
“Do you mind if I take that seat”\n
\n
“No” “Yeah” depending on tone can both mean, “I’m fine with you taking that seat”. Most people will add on to make the intention clearer like, “Yeah, go ahead” but not always. Absolutely crazy.
"""
+lang: "en"
+isAdult: false
+favouriteCount: 14
+score: 0
+lastActive: DateTime @1697853048 {#2056
date: 2023-10-21 03:50:48.0 +02:00
}
+ip: null
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"@CurlyMoustache@lemmy.world"
]
+children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2057 …}
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-id: 60047
-bodyTs: "'absolut':82 'add':68 'ahead':78 'alway':81 'answer':8 'bodi':39 'clearer':74 'context':37 'crazi':83 'depend':34,51 'differ':26 'explain':20 'fine':59 'go':77 'hard':18 'intent':73 'languag':40 'like':75 'long':11 'm':58 'make':71 'mean':14,27,56 'mind':3,43 'mis':7 'mis-answ':6 'peopl':66 'seat':48,64 'someon':32 'speak':30 'take':46,62 'tone':36,53 'written':22 'yeah':50,76 'yes':13 'yes/no':24"
+ranking: 0
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date: 2023-10-19 23:51:00.0 +02:00
}
+"title": 60047
}
]
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+cross: false
+upVotes: 0
+downVotes: 0
+ranking: 1697812829
+visibility: "visible "
+apId: "https://lemmy.world/post/7024565"
+editedAt: DateTimeImmutable @1697726469 {#2986
date: 2023-10-19 16:41:09.0 +02:00
}
+createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1697726429 {#2964
date: 2023-10-19 16:40:29.0 +02:00
}
+__isInitialized__: true
…2
} |
|
Show voter details
|
28 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2047
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2518 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2045 …}
+image: null
+domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2702 …}
+slug: "What-irritates-you-the-most-with-your-own-language"
+title: "What irritates you the most with your own language?"
+url: null
+body: """
Mine is people who separate words when they write. I’m Norwegian, and we can string together words indefinetly to make a new word. The never ending word may not make any sense, but it is gramatically correct\n
\n
Still, people write words the wrong way by separating them.\n
\n
Examples:\n
\n
- “Ananas ringer” means “the pineapple is calling” when written the wrong way. The correct way is “ananasringer” and it means “pineapple rings” (from a tin).\n
- “Prinsesse pult i vinkel” means “a princess fucked at an angle”. The correct way to write it is “prinsessepult i vinkel”, and it means “an angeled princess desk” (a desk for children, obviously)\n
- “Koke bøker” means “to cook books”. The correct way is “kokebøker” and means “cookbooks”\n
\n
I see these kinds of mistakes everywhere!
"""
+type: "article"
+lang: "en"
+isOc: false
+hasEmbed: false
+commentCount: 231
+favouriteCount: 205
+score: 0
+isAdult: true
+sticky: false
+lastActive: DateTime @1702943522 {#2998
date: 2023-12-19 00:52:02.0 +01:00
}
+ip: null
+adaAmount: 0
+tags: null
+mentions: null
+comments: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#3003 …}
+votes: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#3006 …}
+reports: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#3008 …}
+favourites: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#3010 …}
+notifications: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#3012 …}
+badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#3014 …}
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App\Entity\EntryComment {#2046
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+entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2047 …2}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2045 …}
+image: null
+parent: null
+root: null
+body: """
“Do you mind …” has been mis-answered for so long that yes means no. It’s hard to explain because written down, yes/no have different meanings, but when speaking to someone it depends on tone, context, and body language.\n
\n
“Do you mind if I take that seat”\n
\n
“No” “Yeah” depending on tone can both mean, “I’m fine with you taking that seat”. Most people will add on to make the intention clearer like, “Yeah, go ahead” but not always. Absolutely crazy.
"""
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date: 2023-10-21 03:50:48.0 +02:00
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"@CurlyMoustache@lemmy.world"
]
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date: 2023-10-19 23:51:00.0 +02:00
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}
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date: 2023-10-19 16:41:09.0 +02:00
}
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date: 2023-10-19 16:40:29.0 +02:00
}
+__isInitialized__: true
…2
} |
|
Show voter details
|
29 |
DENIED
|
ROLE_USER
|
null |
|
Show voter details
|
30 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2046
+user: App\Entity\User {#260 …}
+entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2047
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2518 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2045 …}
+image: null
+domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2702 …}
+slug: "What-irritates-you-the-most-with-your-own-language"
+title: "What irritates you the most with your own language?"
+url: null
+body: """
Mine is people who separate words when they write. I’m Norwegian, and we can string together words indefinetly to make a new word. The never ending word may not make any sense, but it is gramatically correct\n
\n
Still, people write words the wrong way by separating them.\n
\n
Examples:\n
\n
- “Ananas ringer” means “the pineapple is calling” when written the wrong way. The correct way is “ananasringer” and it means “pineapple rings” (from a tin).\n
- “Prinsesse pult i vinkel” means “a princess fucked at an angle”. The correct way to write it is “prinsessepult i vinkel”, and it means “an angeled princess desk” (a desk for children, obviously)\n
- “Koke bøker” means “to cook books”. The correct way is “kokebøker” and means “cookbooks”\n
\n
I see these kinds of mistakes everywhere!
"""
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+cross: false
+upVotes: 0
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+ranking: 1697812829
+visibility: "visible "
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+editedAt: DateTimeImmutable @1697726469 {#2986
date: 2023-10-19 16:41:09.0 +02:00
}
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date: 2023-10-19 16:40:29.0 +02:00
}
+__isInitialized__: true
…2
}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2045 …}
+image: null
+parent: null
+root: null
+body: """
“Do you mind …” has been mis-answered for so long that yes means no. It’s hard to explain because written down, yes/no have different meanings, but when speaking to someone it depends on tone, context, and body language.\n
\n
“Do you mind if I take that seat”\n
\n
“No” “Yeah” depending on tone can both mean, “I’m fine with you taking that seat”. Most people will add on to make the intention clearer like, “Yeah, go ahead” but not always. Absolutely crazy.
"""
+lang: "en"
+isAdult: false
+favouriteCount: 14
+score: 0
+lastActive: DateTime @1697853048 {#2056
date: 2023-10-21 03:50:48.0 +02:00
}
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"@CurlyMoustache@lemmy.world"
]
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-id: 60047
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+editedAt: null
+createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1697752260 {#2059
date: 2023-10-19 23:51:00.0 +02:00
}
+"title": 60047
} |
|
Show voter details
|
31 |
DENIED
|
edit
|
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2046
+user: App\Entity\User {#260 …}
+entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2047
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2518 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2045 …}
+image: null
+domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2702 …}
+slug: "What-irritates-you-the-most-with-your-own-language"
+title: "What irritates you the most with your own language?"
+url: null
+body: """
Mine is people who separate words when they write. I’m Norwegian, and we can string together words indefinetly to make a new word. The never ending word may not make any sense, but it is gramatically correct\n
\n
Still, people write words the wrong way by separating them.\n
\n
Examples:\n
\n
- “Ananas ringer” means “the pineapple is calling” when written the wrong way. The correct way is “ananasringer” and it means “pineapple rings” (from a tin).\n
- “Prinsesse pult i vinkel” means “a princess fucked at an angle”. The correct way to write it is “prinsessepult i vinkel”, and it means “an angeled princess desk” (a desk for children, obviously)\n
- “Koke bøker” means “to cook books”. The correct way is “kokebøker” and means “cookbooks”\n
\n
I see these kinds of mistakes everywhere!
"""
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date: 2023-12-19 00:52:02.0 +01:00
}
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date: 2023-10-19 16:41:09.0 +02:00
}
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date: 2023-10-19 16:40:29.0 +02:00
}
+__isInitialized__: true
…2
}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2045 …}
+image: null
+parent: null
+root: null
+body: """
“Do you mind …” has been mis-answered for so long that yes means no. It’s hard to explain because written down, yes/no have different meanings, but when speaking to someone it depends on tone, context, and body language.\n
\n
“Do you mind if I take that seat”\n
\n
“No” “Yeah” depending on tone can both mean, “I’m fine with you taking that seat”. Most people will add on to make the intention clearer like, “Yeah, go ahead” but not always. Absolutely crazy.
"""
+lang: "en"
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date: 2023-10-21 03:50:48.0 +02:00
}
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]
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+createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1697752260 {#2059
date: 2023-10-19 23:51:00.0 +02:00
}
+"title": 60047
} |
|
Show voter details
|
32 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2046
+user: App\Entity\User {#260 …}
+entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2047
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2518 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2045 …}
+image: null
+domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2702 …}
+slug: "What-irritates-you-the-most-with-your-own-language"
+title: "What irritates you the most with your own language?"
+url: null
+body: """
Mine is people who separate words when they write. I’m Norwegian, and we can string together words indefinetly to make a new word. The never ending word may not make any sense, but it is gramatically correct\n
\n
Still, people write words the wrong way by separating them.\n
\n
Examples:\n
\n
- “Ananas ringer” means “the pineapple is calling” when written the wrong way. The correct way is “ananasringer” and it means “pineapple rings” (from a tin).\n
- “Prinsesse pult i vinkel” means “a princess fucked at an angle”. The correct way to write it is “prinsessepult i vinkel”, and it means “an angeled princess desk” (a desk for children, obviously)\n
- “Koke bøker” means “to cook books”. The correct way is “kokebøker” and means “cookbooks”\n
\n
I see these kinds of mistakes everywhere!
"""
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date: 2023-12-19 00:52:02.0 +01:00
}
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App\Entity\EntryComment {#2046}
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date: 2023-10-19 16:41:09.0 +02:00
}
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date: 2023-10-19 16:40:29.0 +02:00
}
+__isInitialized__: true
…2
}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2045 …}
+image: null
+parent: null
+root: null
+body: """
“Do you mind …” has been mis-answered for so long that yes means no. It’s hard to explain because written down, yes/no have different meanings, but when speaking to someone it depends on tone, context, and body language.\n
\n
“Do you mind if I take that seat”\n
\n
“No” “Yeah” depending on tone can both mean, “I’m fine with you taking that seat”. Most people will add on to make the intention clearer like, “Yeah, go ahead” but not always. Absolutely crazy.
"""
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date: 2023-10-21 03:50:48.0 +02:00
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]
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date: 2023-10-19 23:51:00.0 +02:00
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+"title": 60047
} |
|
Show voter details
|
33 |
DENIED
|
ROLE_USER
|
null |
|
Show voter details
|
34 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2150
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2700 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2023 …}
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+domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2669 …}
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+title: "Well that's one way to ruin my day"
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+parent: null
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+body: "Dump a cup of white vinegar into the wash, let them soak. Mildew will be gone. Add an extra rinse if it smells of vinegar."
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…2
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Show voter details
|
35 |
DENIED
|
edit
|
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2150
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…2
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|
Show voter details
|
36 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2150
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…2
} |
|
Show voter details
|
37 |
DENIED
|
ROLE_USER
|
null |
|
Show voter details
|
38 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2145
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|
Show voter details
|
39 |
DENIED
|
edit
|
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2145
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} |
|
Show voter details
|
40 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2145
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…2
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|
Show voter details
|
41 |
DENIED
|
ROLE_USER
|
null |
|
Show voter details
|
42 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2251
+user: App\Entity\User {#260 …}
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If it’s a big company then keep your ear to the ground, find out if there’s another team or department you’d like to work in, and talk about it with your manager. Be patient. Big companies have a lot of benefits and it might be worth waiting for a position to open up.\n
\n
If you really want to work somewhere else then apply outside of work hours, don’t just quit. It’s easier to find a job when you already have one.
"""
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|
Show voter details
|
43 |
DENIED
|
edit
|
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2251
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date: 2023-12-08 16:27:47.0 +01:00
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+"title": 210340
} |
|
Show voter details
|
44 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2251
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If it’s a big company then keep your ear to the ground, find out if there’s another team or department you’d like to work in, and talk about it with your manager. Be patient. Big companies have a lot of benefits and it might be worth waiting for a position to open up.\n
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45 |
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46 |
DENIED
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moderate
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Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2226
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47 |
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edit
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Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2226
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Show voter details
|
48 |
DENIED
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moderate
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Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2226
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Show voter details
|
49 |
DENIED
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null |
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Show voter details
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50 |
DENIED
|
moderate
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App\Entity\EntryComment {#2233
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Show voter details
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51 |
DENIED
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edit
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App\Entity\EntryComment {#2233
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Show voter details
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52 |
DENIED
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moderate
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App\Entity\EntryComment {#2233
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Show voter details
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53 |
DENIED
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ROLE_USER
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null |
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Show voter details
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54 |
DENIED
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moderate
|
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2268
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Show voter details
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55 |
DENIED
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edit
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Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2268
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Show voter details
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56 |
DENIED
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moderate
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Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2268
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|
Show voter details
|
57 |
DENIED
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ROLE_USER
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null |
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Show voter details
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58 |
DENIED
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moderate
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App\Entity\EntryComment {#2257
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Show voter details
|
59 |
DENIED
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edit
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App\Entity\EntryComment {#2257
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|
Show voter details
|
60 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2257
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|
Show voter details
|
61 |
DENIED
|
ROLE_USER
|
null |
|
Show voter details
|
62 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2276
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"@Waker@lemmy.world"
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+children: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2275 …}
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date: 2023-11-22 14:53:04.0 +01:00
}
+"title": 150508
}
0 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#2197
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+entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2276 …2}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2045 …}
+image: null
+parent: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#2205 …}
+root: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\EntryComment {#2279 …}
+body: "I wondered about this but I figured recruiters would assume Google voice numbers were spam/sketchy applicants."
+lang: "en"
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date: 2023-11-22 20:22:23.0 +01:00
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-id: 151635
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-id: 15387
-titleTs: "'anyon':1,18 'contact':16 'destroy':8 'els':2 'ever':19 'feel':3 'give':14 'like':4 'never':13 'old':10 'sim':11 'want':6"
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date: 2023-11-27 22:00:33.0 +01:00
}
+createdAt: DateTimeImmutable @1700650186 {#2774
date: 2023-11-22 11:49:46.0 +01:00
}
+__isInitialized__: true
…2
} |
|
Show voter details
|
63 |
DENIED
|
edit
|
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2276
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2815 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2045 …}
+image: null
+domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2702 …}
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+url: null
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}
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+badges: Doctrine\ORM\PersistentCollection {#2827 …}
+children: [
1 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#2278
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+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2045 …}
+image: null
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+body: "How do you apply to new jobs without giving out your number?"
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date: 2023-11-22 14:53:04.0 +01:00
}
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}
+"title": 150508
}
0 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#2197
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+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2045 …}
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}
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date: 2023-11-22 11:49:46.0 +01:00
}
+__isInitialized__: true
…2
} |
|
Show voter details
|
64 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2276
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+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2045 …}
+image: null
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date: 2023-11-22 14:53:04.0 +01:00
}
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}
0 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#2197
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}
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date: 2023-11-22 11:49:46.0 +01:00
}
+__isInitialized__: true
…2
} |
|
Show voter details
|
65 |
DENIED
|
ROLE_USER
|
null |
|
Show voter details
|
66 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2278
+user: App\Entity\User {#260 …}
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0 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#2197
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date: 2023-11-27 22:00:33.0 +01:00
}
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date: 2023-11-22 11:49:46.0 +01:00
}
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…2
}
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date: 2023-11-22 14:53:04.0 +01:00
}
+"title": 150508
} |
|
Show voter details
|
67 |
DENIED
|
edit
|
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2278
+user: App\Entity\User {#260 …}
+entry: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2276
+user: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\User {#2815 …}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2045 …}
+image: null
+domain: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Domain {#2702 …}
+slug: "Anyone-else-feels-like-they-want-to-destroy-their-old"
+title: "Anyone else feels like they want to destroy their old sim and never give their contact to anyone ever again?"
+url: null
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date: 2023-11-23 18:07:02.0 +01:00
}
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1 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#2278}
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date: 2023-11-22 11:49:46.0 +01:00
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}
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|
Show voter details
|
68 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2278
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|
Show voter details
|
69 |
DENIED
|
ROLE_USER
|
null |
|
Show voter details
|
70 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2197
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|
Show voter details
|
71 |
DENIED
|
edit
|
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2197
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0 => App\Entity\EntryComment {#2197}
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|
Show voter details
|
72 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2197
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73 |
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Show voter details
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Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2113
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very kirk van houten coded\n
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75 |
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Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2113
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very kirk van houten coded\n
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Show voter details
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76 |
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Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2113
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very kirk van houten coded\n
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77 |
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App\Entity\EntryComment {#2115
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79 |
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edit
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App\Entity\EntryComment {#2115
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very kirk van houten coded\n
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Show voter details
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80 |
DENIED
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moderate
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App\Entity\EntryComment {#2115
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very kirk van houten coded\n
\n
bullshit world
"""
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88 |
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Show voter details
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89 |
DENIED
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Show voter details
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90 |
DENIED
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moderate
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Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2333
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Show voter details
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91 |
DENIED
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edit
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Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2333
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Show voter details
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92 |
DENIED
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moderate
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Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2333
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Show voter details
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93 |
DENIED
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ROLE_USER
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null |
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Show voter details
|
94 |
DENIED
|
moderate
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App\Entity\EntryComment {#2329
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Show voter details
|
95 |
DENIED
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edit
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App\Entity\EntryComment {#2329
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96 |
DENIED
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App\Entity\EntryComment {#2329
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Show voter details
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97 |
DENIED
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ROLE_USER
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Show voter details
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98 |
DENIED
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App\Entity\EntryComment {#2137
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Show voter details
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99 |
DENIED
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App\Entity\EntryComment {#2137
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Show voter details
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100 |
DENIED
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moderate
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101 |
DENIED
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103 |
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Show voter details
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104 |
DENIED
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Show voter details
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105 |
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Show voter details
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106 |
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108 |
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109 |
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Show voter details
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DENIED
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111 |
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112 |
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116 |
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117 |
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119 |
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edit
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App\Entity\EntryComment {#2096
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120 |
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moderate
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App\Entity\EntryComment {#2096
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121 |
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Show voter details
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122 |
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moderate
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Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2035
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123 |
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124 |
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125 |
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127 |
DENIED
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App\Entity\EntryComment {#2027
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128 |
DENIED
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App\Entity\EntryComment {#2027
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129 |
DENIED
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ROLE_USER
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Show voter details
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130 |
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moderate
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Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2019
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131 |
DENIED
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edit
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Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2019
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+body: """
*This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
\n
*I am NOT OP. Original post by* [*u*](https://www.reddit.com/u/Yourgirlanonishere)*/thra_Impress6525* *in* [*r/relationship_advice*](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice)\n
\n
Mood spoiler:\n
\n
show spoilerSad, but hopeful for OOP\n
\n
\u{200B}\n
\n
[Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wv3rbh/my_26f_fiance_is_convinced_i_have_a_crush_on_my/)\n
\n
\u{200B}\n
\n
My best friend Sarah (26F) and her husband Matt (28M) have put me in a very difficult position with my fiance Jack (30M). I knew Matt since my childhood, he was my neighbor and we were friendly. Sarah and I were roommates in college and became close friends.\n
\n
When I introduced Sarah and Matt, they hit it off and started dating each other. I was happy to see two of my friends get together but also annoyed that I became the third wheel and was often ignored or set aside because they were so into each other. By the time I graduated, Matt had completely dropped me as a friend. That saddened me but I was still good friends with Sarah so it was what it was. Sarah and I would frequently hang out, but I never talked with Matt other than the occasional polite hellos. Sarah would sometimes try to do couples dates with her and Matt and me and my dates. I found that Matt had developed an unpleasant personality and would frequently be rude and condescending towards me. However, he’s a very devoted and loving husband to Sarah so for her sake I ignored him.\n
\n
When my fiance and I got engaged, we had no plans to do a party. Sarah was disappointed that we didn’t throw an engagement party so she organized a small get-together at her home to celebrate us. The party was nice and as things were winding down, my fiance and I went to thank Sarah and Matt for their sweet gesture before we took our leave. Matt was pretty tipsy by then and out of nowhere he suddenly hugged me and in front of my fiance said that he was so glad that I was finally settling down and he is relieved that now I’ll be over the crush I had on him. I was shocked and told him that wasn’t true. He just laughed and told Jack that I was always chasing him and he had to work hard to keep me away. I dragged Sarah in and asked her to please fix this mess and she was all like oh he’s drunk ignore him and says, you know I always trust you, I know you wouldn’t act on your crush.\n
\n
Jack was pretty pissed by this point and he walked out. I ran after him and tried explaining that this isn’t true but he told me he doesn’t want to be anyone’s second choice or their backup plan. Since that night he isn’t talking to me or returning my calls.\n
\n
I have talked to Sarah multiple times to clear things with Jack but she’s brushing me off. I don’t understand why they believe this or why she’d stay friends with me if she thought I was into her husband. I was in her wedding party and did all the work because her sister who was the MOH was too busy. I have helped her through her pregnancy and have babysat her kid so many times. She never gave me any indication she thought this and why would she want me close to her family if she believed this? I feel humiliated that these people think I was pining away for a jerk like Matt.\n
\n
I need help in convincing Jack this isn’t true. I am also mad at him for throwing away our relationship over what some drunken idiot said. I don’t know what I am going to do about my friendship with Sarah.\n
\n
**Update:**\n
\n
I talked to Sarah again and asked her first of all why she’d think I had a crush on Matt. She said that when I first introduced them I had talked up Matt and gushed about him and she took that as me being into him. I said I was fond of him since I’ve known him for a long time but that doesn’t mean I want to be with him. She said when they started dating I was often upset about it. I said I wasn’t upset about their dating, I was upset that she’d make plans with me and then leave me to be with him and when we were all together I didn’t enjoy being the third wheel while they ignored me. That had nothing to do with wanting him and more to not liking being left out by my best friend. I asked her why she hadn’t said anything before and she explained that she could “manage” the situation. She had asked Matt to stop talking to me completely and she engineered situations so there was little chance of us socializing with each other.\n
\n
I asked her now that I have explained that I never had a crush on Matt, can you please talk to Jack and tell him. She said she didn’t want to lie. This frustrated me immensely. She could ignore this imaginary crush for years and manipulate me, but won’t talk to my fiance to help my relationship. I told her I was done being her friend. Thinking back I was always doing stuff for her and she used me but did little for me.\n
\n
\u{200B}\n
\n
[Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wz6ubd/update_my_26f_fiance_is_convinced_i_have_a_crush/) (posted yesterday):\n
\n
Tl;dr: Jack and I broke up.\n
\n
I wrote a long letter to Jack explaining the entire history of my relationship with Sarah and Matt with the recent screencaps. I asserted as best as I could that I had never pined after any guy and I loved him and he was my only choice.\n
\n
After days of silence, Jack agreed to talk to me. We met and he said that he sees two ways of interpreting this situation. One, Matt and Sarah are right and he doesn’t want to be my second choice. Two, they are malicious people who are messing with me and that shows very poor judgment on my part that I’d have a best friend like this and he doesn’t want that quality in a life partner. Either possibility leads to the same conclusion that he wants to call off the engagement.\n
\n
He reminded me that I had represented Sarah as one of the most important people in my life. I’d jump up and help her all the time. I had once canceled plans with him to take care of her kid when the baby was sick. It had irked him but he had seen it as me being caring and nice, but now he’s seeing all that in a different light.\n
\n
I cried and begged him not to end our engagement, but he wanted a break for a while. I thought over what he said for a few days and came to realize that he was right. I was a clingy friend and a doormat. I never even saw how much one sided my friendship with Sarah was. I was a doormat with Jack too. I didn’t want to get married or have kids this early but agreed to his timelines. I gave up an exciting job opportunity with more money because he didn’t want me traveling for work. I love him but I need to fix myself and be stronger.\n
\n
I gave back his ring and ended things. I returned all the gifts he gave too. He was offended by that, but I didn’t feel good about keeping the very expensive things he had given me. He makes a lot more than me and was very generous with what he gave me, but I can’t keep that now.\n
\n
Sarah was quiet for a while but then started calling me. I ignored a lot of her calls but this morning I answered her call and told her about the breakup. I was looking for sympathy from my old friend. She was more interested in knowing if I was still going to watch her kid while she and Matt went on an overnight trip. She got pretty angry when I said no. I have blocked her now.\n
\n
I have lost my fiance, my best friend and my relationship with my nephew whom I adored, all in one go. But still, I am thankful for the comments that showed this wasn’t something I could fix and helped me rip off the bandaid and walk away from this mess.\n
\n
*Disclaimer*\n
\n
*This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
\n
Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/x02wg4/oop_learns_a_hard_lesson_about_herself/)
"""
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+body: "Same for me. Very few of my aunts and uncles are by blood. I didn’t think twice about it growing up. My close friends and I have the same relationship. Love isn’t a finite resource and chosen family is an extension of that."
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…2
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|
Show voter details
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139 |
DENIED
|
edit
|
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2372
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+slug: "OOP-learns-a-hard-lesson-about-herself"
+title: "OOP learns a hard lesson about herself"
+url: null
+body: """
*This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
\n
*I am NOT OP. Original post by* [*u*](https://www.reddit.com/u/Yourgirlanonishere)*/thra_Impress6525* *in* [*r/relationship_advice*](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice)\n
\n
Mood spoiler:\n
\n
show spoilerSad, but hopeful for OOP\n
\n
\u{200B}\n
\n
[Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wv3rbh/my_26f_fiance_is_convinced_i_have_a_crush_on_my/)\n
\n
\u{200B}\n
\n
My best friend Sarah (26F) and her husband Matt (28M) have put me in a very difficult position with my fiance Jack (30M). I knew Matt since my childhood, he was my neighbor and we were friendly. Sarah and I were roommates in college and became close friends.\n
\n
When I introduced Sarah and Matt, they hit it off and started dating each other. I was happy to see two of my friends get together but also annoyed that I became the third wheel and was often ignored or set aside because they were so into each other. By the time I graduated, Matt had completely dropped me as a friend. That saddened me but I was still good friends with Sarah so it was what it was. Sarah and I would frequently hang out, but I never talked with Matt other than the occasional polite hellos. Sarah would sometimes try to do couples dates with her and Matt and me and my dates. I found that Matt had developed an unpleasant personality and would frequently be rude and condescending towards me. However, he’s a very devoted and loving husband to Sarah so for her sake I ignored him.\n
\n
When my fiance and I got engaged, we had no plans to do a party. Sarah was disappointed that we didn’t throw an engagement party so she organized a small get-together at her home to celebrate us. The party was nice and as things were winding down, my fiance and I went to thank Sarah and Matt for their sweet gesture before we took our leave. Matt was pretty tipsy by then and out of nowhere he suddenly hugged me and in front of my fiance said that he was so glad that I was finally settling down and he is relieved that now I’ll be over the crush I had on him. I was shocked and told him that wasn’t true. He just laughed and told Jack that I was always chasing him and he had to work hard to keep me away. I dragged Sarah in and asked her to please fix this mess and she was all like oh he’s drunk ignore him and says, you know I always trust you, I know you wouldn’t act on your crush.\n
\n
Jack was pretty pissed by this point and he walked out. I ran after him and tried explaining that this isn’t true but he told me he doesn’t want to be anyone’s second choice or their backup plan. Since that night he isn’t talking to me or returning my calls.\n
\n
I have talked to Sarah multiple times to clear things with Jack but she’s brushing me off. I don’t understand why they believe this or why she’d stay friends with me if she thought I was into her husband. I was in her wedding party and did all the work because her sister who was the MOH was too busy. I have helped her through her pregnancy and have babysat her kid so many times. She never gave me any indication she thought this and why would she want me close to her family if she believed this? I feel humiliated that these people think I was pining away for a jerk like Matt.\n
\n
I need help in convincing Jack this isn’t true. I am also mad at him for throwing away our relationship over what some drunken idiot said. I don’t know what I am going to do about my friendship with Sarah.\n
\n
**Update:**\n
\n
I talked to Sarah again and asked her first of all why she’d think I had a crush on Matt. She said that when I first introduced them I had talked up Matt and gushed about him and she took that as me being into him. I said I was fond of him since I’ve known him for a long time but that doesn’t mean I want to be with him. She said when they started dating I was often upset about it. I said I wasn’t upset about their dating, I was upset that she’d make plans with me and then leave me to be with him and when we were all together I didn’t enjoy being the third wheel while they ignored me. That had nothing to do with wanting him and more to not liking being left out by my best friend. I asked her why she hadn’t said anything before and she explained that she could “manage” the situation. She had asked Matt to stop talking to me completely and she engineered situations so there was little chance of us socializing with each other.\n
\n
I asked her now that I have explained that I never had a crush on Matt, can you please talk to Jack and tell him. She said she didn’t want to lie. This frustrated me immensely. She could ignore this imaginary crush for years and manipulate me, but won’t talk to my fiance to help my relationship. I told her I was done being her friend. Thinking back I was always doing stuff for her and she used me but did little for me.\n
\n
\u{200B}\n
\n
[Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wz6ubd/update_my_26f_fiance_is_convinced_i_have_a_crush/) (posted yesterday):\n
\n
Tl;dr: Jack and I broke up.\n
\n
I wrote a long letter to Jack explaining the entire history of my relationship with Sarah and Matt with the recent screencaps. I asserted as best as I could that I had never pined after any guy and I loved him and he was my only choice.\n
\n
After days of silence, Jack agreed to talk to me. We met and he said that he sees two ways of interpreting this situation. One, Matt and Sarah are right and he doesn’t want to be my second choice. Two, they are malicious people who are messing with me and that shows very poor judgment on my part that I’d have a best friend like this and he doesn’t want that quality in a life partner. Either possibility leads to the same conclusion that he wants to call off the engagement.\n
\n
He reminded me that I had represented Sarah as one of the most important people in my life. I’d jump up and help her all the time. I had once canceled plans with him to take care of her kid when the baby was sick. It had irked him but he had seen it as me being caring and nice, but now he’s seeing all that in a different light.\n
\n
I cried and begged him not to end our engagement, but he wanted a break for a while. I thought over what he said for a few days and came to realize that he was right. I was a clingy friend and a doormat. I never even saw how much one sided my friendship with Sarah was. I was a doormat with Jack too. I didn’t want to get married or have kids this early but agreed to his timelines. I gave up an exciting job opportunity with more money because he didn’t want me traveling for work. I love him but I need to fix myself and be stronger.\n
\n
I gave back his ring and ended things. I returned all the gifts he gave too. He was offended by that, but I didn’t feel good about keeping the very expensive things he had given me. He makes a lot more than me and was very generous with what he gave me, but I can’t keep that now.\n
\n
Sarah was quiet for a while but then started calling me. I ignored a lot of her calls but this morning I answered her call and told her about the breakup. I was looking for sympathy from my old friend. She was more interested in knowing if I was still going to watch her kid while she and Matt went on an overnight trip. She got pretty angry when I said no. I have blocked her now.\n
\n
I have lost my fiance, my best friend and my relationship with my nephew whom I adored, all in one go. But still, I am thankful for the comments that showed this wasn’t something I could fix and helped me rip off the bandaid and walk away from this mess.\n
\n
*Disclaimer*\n
\n
*This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
\n
Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/x02wg4/oop_learns_a_hard_lesson_about_herself/)
"""
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Show voter details
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140 |
DENIED
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moderate
|
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2372
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+slug: "OOP-learns-a-hard-lesson-about-herself"
+title: "OOP learns a hard lesson about herself"
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+body: """
*This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
\n
*I am NOT OP. Original post by* [*u*](https://www.reddit.com/u/Yourgirlanonishere)*/thra_Impress6525* *in* [*r/relationship_advice*](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice)\n
\n
Mood spoiler:\n
\n
show spoilerSad, but hopeful for OOP\n
\n
\u{200B}\n
\n
[Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wv3rbh/my_26f_fiance_is_convinced_i_have_a_crush_on_my/)\n
\n
\u{200B}\n
\n
My best friend Sarah (26F) and her husband Matt (28M) have put me in a very difficult position with my fiance Jack (30M). I knew Matt since my childhood, he was my neighbor and we were friendly. Sarah and I were roommates in college and became close friends.\n
\n
When I introduced Sarah and Matt, they hit it off and started dating each other. I was happy to see two of my friends get together but also annoyed that I became the third wheel and was often ignored or set aside because they were so into each other. By the time I graduated, Matt had completely dropped me as a friend. That saddened me but I was still good friends with Sarah so it was what it was. Sarah and I would frequently hang out, but I never talked with Matt other than the occasional polite hellos. Sarah would sometimes try to do couples dates with her and Matt and me and my dates. I found that Matt had developed an unpleasant personality and would frequently be rude and condescending towards me. However, he’s a very devoted and loving husband to Sarah so for her sake I ignored him.\n
\n
When my fiance and I got engaged, we had no plans to do a party. Sarah was disappointed that we didn’t throw an engagement party so she organized a small get-together at her home to celebrate us. The party was nice and as things were winding down, my fiance and I went to thank Sarah and Matt for their sweet gesture before we took our leave. Matt was pretty tipsy by then and out of nowhere he suddenly hugged me and in front of my fiance said that he was so glad that I was finally settling down and he is relieved that now I’ll be over the crush I had on him. I was shocked and told him that wasn’t true. He just laughed and told Jack that I was always chasing him and he had to work hard to keep me away. I dragged Sarah in and asked her to please fix this mess and she was all like oh he’s drunk ignore him and says, you know I always trust you, I know you wouldn’t act on your crush.\n
\n
Jack was pretty pissed by this point and he walked out. I ran after him and tried explaining that this isn’t true but he told me he doesn’t want to be anyone’s second choice or their backup plan. Since that night he isn’t talking to me or returning my calls.\n
\n
I have talked to Sarah multiple times to clear things with Jack but she’s brushing me off. I don’t understand why they believe this or why she’d stay friends with me if she thought I was into her husband. I was in her wedding party and did all the work because her sister who was the MOH was too busy. I have helped her through her pregnancy and have babysat her kid so many times. She never gave me any indication she thought this and why would she want me close to her family if she believed this? I feel humiliated that these people think I was pining away for a jerk like Matt.\n
\n
I need help in convincing Jack this isn’t true. I am also mad at him for throwing away our relationship over what some drunken idiot said. I don’t know what I am going to do about my friendship with Sarah.\n
\n
**Update:**\n
\n
I talked to Sarah again and asked her first of all why she’d think I had a crush on Matt. She said that when I first introduced them I had talked up Matt and gushed about him and she took that as me being into him. I said I was fond of him since I’ve known him for a long time but that doesn’t mean I want to be with him. She said when they started dating I was often upset about it. I said I wasn’t upset about their dating, I was upset that she’d make plans with me and then leave me to be with him and when we were all together I didn’t enjoy being the third wheel while they ignored me. That had nothing to do with wanting him and more to not liking being left out by my best friend. I asked her why she hadn’t said anything before and she explained that she could “manage” the situation. She had asked Matt to stop talking to me completely and she engineered situations so there was little chance of us socializing with each other.\n
\n
I asked her now that I have explained that I never had a crush on Matt, can you please talk to Jack and tell him. She said she didn’t want to lie. This frustrated me immensely. She could ignore this imaginary crush for years and manipulate me, but won’t talk to my fiance to help my relationship. I told her I was done being her friend. Thinking back I was always doing stuff for her and she used me but did little for me.\n
\n
\u{200B}\n
\n
[Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wz6ubd/update_my_26f_fiance_is_convinced_i_have_a_crush/) (posted yesterday):\n
\n
Tl;dr: Jack and I broke up.\n
\n
I wrote a long letter to Jack explaining the entire history of my relationship with Sarah and Matt with the recent screencaps. I asserted as best as I could that I had never pined after any guy and I loved him and he was my only choice.\n
\n
After days of silence, Jack agreed to talk to me. We met and he said that he sees two ways of interpreting this situation. One, Matt and Sarah are right and he doesn’t want to be my second choice. Two, they are malicious people who are messing with me and that shows very poor judgment on my part that I’d have a best friend like this and he doesn’t want that quality in a life partner. Either possibility leads to the same conclusion that he wants to call off the engagement.\n
\n
He reminded me that I had represented Sarah as one of the most important people in my life. I’d jump up and help her all the time. I had once canceled plans with him to take care of her kid when the baby was sick. It had irked him but he had seen it as me being caring and nice, but now he’s seeing all that in a different light.\n
\n
I cried and begged him not to end our engagement, but he wanted a break for a while. I thought over what he said for a few days and came to realize that he was right. I was a clingy friend and a doormat. I never even saw how much one sided my friendship with Sarah was. I was a doormat with Jack too. I didn’t want to get married or have kids this early but agreed to his timelines. I gave up an exciting job opportunity with more money because he didn’t want me traveling for work. I love him but I need to fix myself and be stronger.\n
\n
I gave back his ring and ended things. I returned all the gifts he gave too. He was offended by that, but I didn’t feel good about keeping the very expensive things he had given me. He makes a lot more than me and was very generous with what he gave me, but I can’t keep that now.\n
\n
Sarah was quiet for a while but then started calling me. I ignored a lot of her calls but this morning I answered her call and told her about the breakup. I was looking for sympathy from my old friend. She was more interested in knowing if I was still going to watch her kid while she and Matt went on an overnight trip. She got pretty angry when I said no. I have blocked her now.\n
\n
I have lost my fiance, my best friend and my relationship with my nephew whom I adored, all in one go. But still, I am thankful for the comments that showed this wasn’t something I could fix and helped me rip off the bandaid and walk away from this mess.\n
\n
*Disclaimer*\n
\n
*This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
\n
Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/x02wg4/oop_learns_a_hard_lesson_about_herself/)
"""
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+body: "Same for me. Very few of my aunts and uncles are by blood. I didn’t think twice about it growing up. My close friends and I have the same relationship. Love isn’t a finite resource and chosen family is an extension of that."
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*This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
\n
*I am NOT OP. Original post by* [*u*](https://www.reddit.com/u/Yourgirlanonishere)*/thra_Impress6525* *in* [*r/relationship_advice*](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice)\n
\n
Mood spoiler:\n
\n
show spoilerSad, but hopeful for OOP\n
\n
\u{200B}\n
\n
[Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wv3rbh/my_26f_fiance_is_convinced_i_have_a_crush_on_my/)\n
\n
\u{200B}\n
\n
My best friend Sarah (26F) and her husband Matt (28M) have put me in a very difficult position with my fiance Jack (30M). I knew Matt since my childhood, he was my neighbor and we were friendly. Sarah and I were roommates in college and became close friends.\n
\n
When I introduced Sarah and Matt, they hit it off and started dating each other. I was happy to see two of my friends get together but also annoyed that I became the third wheel and was often ignored or set aside because they were so into each other. By the time I graduated, Matt had completely dropped me as a friend. That saddened me but I was still good friends with Sarah so it was what it was. Sarah and I would frequently hang out, but I never talked with Matt other than the occasional polite hellos. Sarah would sometimes try to do couples dates with her and Matt and me and my dates. I found that Matt had developed an unpleasant personality and would frequently be rude and condescending towards me. However, he’s a very devoted and loving husband to Sarah so for her sake I ignored him.\n
\n
When my fiance and I got engaged, we had no plans to do a party. Sarah was disappointed that we didn’t throw an engagement party so she organized a small get-together at her home to celebrate us. The party was nice and as things were winding down, my fiance and I went to thank Sarah and Matt for their sweet gesture before we took our leave. Matt was pretty tipsy by then and out of nowhere he suddenly hugged me and in front of my fiance said that he was so glad that I was finally settling down and he is relieved that now I’ll be over the crush I had on him. I was shocked and told him that wasn’t true. He just laughed and told Jack that I was always chasing him and he had to work hard to keep me away. I dragged Sarah in and asked her to please fix this mess and she was all like oh he’s drunk ignore him and says, you know I always trust you, I know you wouldn’t act on your crush.\n
\n
Jack was pretty pissed by this point and he walked out. I ran after him and tried explaining that this isn’t true but he told me he doesn’t want to be anyone’s second choice or their backup plan. Since that night he isn’t talking to me or returning my calls.\n
\n
I have talked to Sarah multiple times to clear things with Jack but she’s brushing me off. I don’t understand why they believe this or why she’d stay friends with me if she thought I was into her husband. I was in her wedding party and did all the work because her sister who was the MOH was too busy. I have helped her through her pregnancy and have babysat her kid so many times. She never gave me any indication she thought this and why would she want me close to her family if she believed this? I feel humiliated that these people think I was pining away for a jerk like Matt.\n
\n
I need help in convincing Jack this isn’t true. I am also mad at him for throwing away our relationship over what some drunken idiot said. I don’t know what I am going to do about my friendship with Sarah.\n
\n
**Update:**\n
\n
I talked to Sarah again and asked her first of all why she’d think I had a crush on Matt. She said that when I first introduced them I had talked up Matt and gushed about him and she took that as me being into him. I said I was fond of him since I’ve known him for a long time but that doesn’t mean I want to be with him. She said when they started dating I was often upset about it. I said I wasn’t upset about their dating, I was upset that she’d make plans with me and then leave me to be with him and when we were all together I didn’t enjoy being the third wheel while they ignored me. That had nothing to do with wanting him and more to not liking being left out by my best friend. I asked her why she hadn’t said anything before and she explained that she could “manage” the situation. She had asked Matt to stop talking to me completely and she engineered situations so there was little chance of us socializing with each other.\n
\n
I asked her now that I have explained that I never had a crush on Matt, can you please talk to Jack and tell him. She said she didn’t want to lie. This frustrated me immensely. She could ignore this imaginary crush for years and manipulate me, but won’t talk to my fiance to help my relationship. I told her I was done being her friend. Thinking back I was always doing stuff for her and she used me but did little for me.\n
\n
\u{200B}\n
\n
[Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wz6ubd/update_my_26f_fiance_is_convinced_i_have_a_crush/) (posted yesterday):\n
\n
Tl;dr: Jack and I broke up.\n
\n
I wrote a long letter to Jack explaining the entire history of my relationship with Sarah and Matt with the recent screencaps. I asserted as best as I could that I had never pined after any guy and I loved him and he was my only choice.\n
\n
After days of silence, Jack agreed to talk to me. We met and he said that he sees two ways of interpreting this situation. One, Matt and Sarah are right and he doesn’t want to be my second choice. Two, they are malicious people who are messing with me and that shows very poor judgment on my part that I’d have a best friend like this and he doesn’t want that quality in a life partner. Either possibility leads to the same conclusion that he wants to call off the engagement.\n
\n
He reminded me that I had represented Sarah as one of the most important people in my life. I’d jump up and help her all the time. I had once canceled plans with him to take care of her kid when the baby was sick. It had irked him but he had seen it as me being caring and nice, but now he’s seeing all that in a different light.\n
\n
I cried and begged him not to end our engagement, but he wanted a break for a while. I thought over what he said for a few days and came to realize that he was right. I was a clingy friend and a doormat. I never even saw how much one sided my friendship with Sarah was. I was a doormat with Jack too. I didn’t want to get married or have kids this early but agreed to his timelines. I gave up an exciting job opportunity with more money because he didn’t want me traveling for work. I love him but I need to fix myself and be stronger.\n
\n
I gave back his ring and ended things. I returned all the gifts he gave too. He was offended by that, but I didn’t feel good about keeping the very expensive things he had given me. He makes a lot more than me and was very generous with what he gave me, but I can’t keep that now.\n
\n
Sarah was quiet for a while but then started calling me. I ignored a lot of her calls but this morning I answered her call and told her about the breakup. I was looking for sympathy from my old friend. She was more interested in knowing if I was still going to watch her kid while she and Matt went on an overnight trip. She got pretty angry when I said no. I have blocked her now.\n
\n
I have lost my fiance, my best friend and my relationship with my nephew whom I adored, all in one go. But still, I am thankful for the comments that showed this wasn’t something I could fix and helped me rip off the bandaid and walk away from this mess.\n
\n
*Disclaimer*\n
\n
*This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
\n
Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/x02wg4/oop_learns_a_hard_lesson_about_herself/)
"""
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+body: "Same for me. Very few of my aunts and uncles are by blood. I didn’t think twice about it growing up. My close friends and I have the same relationship. Love isn’t a finite resource and chosen family is an extension of that."
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|
Show voter details
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143 |
DENIED
|
edit
|
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2382
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+slug: "OOP-learns-a-hard-lesson-about-herself"
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+body: """
*This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
\n
*I am NOT OP. Original post by* [*u*](https://www.reddit.com/u/Yourgirlanonishere)*/thra_Impress6525* *in* [*r/relationship_advice*](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice)\n
\n
Mood spoiler:\n
\n
show spoilerSad, but hopeful for OOP\n
\n
\u{200B}\n
\n
[Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wv3rbh/my_26f_fiance_is_convinced_i_have_a_crush_on_my/)\n
\n
\u{200B}\n
\n
My best friend Sarah (26F) and her husband Matt (28M) have put me in a very difficult position with my fiance Jack (30M). I knew Matt since my childhood, he was my neighbor and we were friendly. Sarah and I were roommates in college and became close friends.\n
\n
When I introduced Sarah and Matt, they hit it off and started dating each other. I was happy to see two of my friends get together but also annoyed that I became the third wheel and was often ignored or set aside because they were so into each other. By the time I graduated, Matt had completely dropped me as a friend. That saddened me but I was still good friends with Sarah so it was what it was. Sarah and I would frequently hang out, but I never talked with Matt other than the occasional polite hellos. Sarah would sometimes try to do couples dates with her and Matt and me and my dates. I found that Matt had developed an unpleasant personality and would frequently be rude and condescending towards me. However, he’s a very devoted and loving husband to Sarah so for her sake I ignored him.\n
\n
When my fiance and I got engaged, we had no plans to do a party. Sarah was disappointed that we didn’t throw an engagement party so she organized a small get-together at her home to celebrate us. The party was nice and as things were winding down, my fiance and I went to thank Sarah and Matt for their sweet gesture before we took our leave. Matt was pretty tipsy by then and out of nowhere he suddenly hugged me and in front of my fiance said that he was so glad that I was finally settling down and he is relieved that now I’ll be over the crush I had on him. I was shocked and told him that wasn’t true. He just laughed and told Jack that I was always chasing him and he had to work hard to keep me away. I dragged Sarah in and asked her to please fix this mess and she was all like oh he’s drunk ignore him and says, you know I always trust you, I know you wouldn’t act on your crush.\n
\n
Jack was pretty pissed by this point and he walked out. I ran after him and tried explaining that this isn’t true but he told me he doesn’t want to be anyone’s second choice or their backup plan. Since that night he isn’t talking to me or returning my calls.\n
\n
I have talked to Sarah multiple times to clear things with Jack but she’s brushing me off. I don’t understand why they believe this or why she’d stay friends with me if she thought I was into her husband. I was in her wedding party and did all the work because her sister who was the MOH was too busy. I have helped her through her pregnancy and have babysat her kid so many times. She never gave me any indication she thought this and why would she want me close to her family if she believed this? I feel humiliated that these people think I was pining away for a jerk like Matt.\n
\n
I need help in convincing Jack this isn’t true. I am also mad at him for throwing away our relationship over what some drunken idiot said. I don’t know what I am going to do about my friendship with Sarah.\n
\n
**Update:**\n
\n
I talked to Sarah again and asked her first of all why she’d think I had a crush on Matt. She said that when I first introduced them I had talked up Matt and gushed about him and she took that as me being into him. I said I was fond of him since I’ve known him for a long time but that doesn’t mean I want to be with him. She said when they started dating I was often upset about it. I said I wasn’t upset about their dating, I was upset that she’d make plans with me and then leave me to be with him and when we were all together I didn’t enjoy being the third wheel while they ignored me. That had nothing to do with wanting him and more to not liking being left out by my best friend. I asked her why she hadn’t said anything before and she explained that she could “manage” the situation. She had asked Matt to stop talking to me completely and she engineered situations so there was little chance of us socializing with each other.\n
\n
I asked her now that I have explained that I never had a crush on Matt, can you please talk to Jack and tell him. She said she didn’t want to lie. This frustrated me immensely. She could ignore this imaginary crush for years and manipulate me, but won’t talk to my fiance to help my relationship. I told her I was done being her friend. Thinking back I was always doing stuff for her and she used me but did little for me.\n
\n
\u{200B}\n
\n
[Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wz6ubd/update_my_26f_fiance_is_convinced_i_have_a_crush/) (posted yesterday):\n
\n
Tl;dr: Jack and I broke up.\n
\n
I wrote a long letter to Jack explaining the entire history of my relationship with Sarah and Matt with the recent screencaps. I asserted as best as I could that I had never pined after any guy and I loved him and he was my only choice.\n
\n
After days of silence, Jack agreed to talk to me. We met and he said that he sees two ways of interpreting this situation. One, Matt and Sarah are right and he doesn’t want to be my second choice. Two, they are malicious people who are messing with me and that shows very poor judgment on my part that I’d have a best friend like this and he doesn’t want that quality in a life partner. Either possibility leads to the same conclusion that he wants to call off the engagement.\n
\n
He reminded me that I had represented Sarah as one of the most important people in my life. I’d jump up and help her all the time. I had once canceled plans with him to take care of her kid when the baby was sick. It had irked him but he had seen it as me being caring and nice, but now he’s seeing all that in a different light.\n
\n
I cried and begged him not to end our engagement, but he wanted a break for a while. I thought over what he said for a few days and came to realize that he was right. I was a clingy friend and a doormat. I never even saw how much one sided my friendship with Sarah was. I was a doormat with Jack too. I didn’t want to get married or have kids this early but agreed to his timelines. I gave up an exciting job opportunity with more money because he didn’t want me traveling for work. I love him but I need to fix myself and be stronger.\n
\n
I gave back his ring and ended things. I returned all the gifts he gave too. He was offended by that, but I didn’t feel good about keeping the very expensive things he had given me. He makes a lot more than me and was very generous with what he gave me, but I can’t keep that now.\n
\n
Sarah was quiet for a while but then started calling me. I ignored a lot of her calls but this morning I answered her call and told her about the breakup. I was looking for sympathy from my old friend. She was more interested in knowing if I was still going to watch her kid while she and Matt went on an overnight trip. She got pretty angry when I said no. I have blocked her now.\n
\n
I have lost my fiance, my best friend and my relationship with my nephew whom I adored, all in one go. But still, I am thankful for the comments that showed this wasn’t something I could fix and helped me rip off the bandaid and walk away from this mess.\n
\n
*Disclaimer*\n
\n
*This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
\n
Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/x02wg4/oop_learns_a_hard_lesson_about_herself/)
"""
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*This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
\n
*I am NOT OP. Original post by* [*u*](https://www.reddit.com/u/Yourgirlanonishere)*/thra_Impress6525* *in* [*r/relationship_advice*](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice)\n
\n
Mood spoiler:\n
\n
show spoilerSad, but hopeful for OOP\n
\n
\u{200B}\n
\n
[Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wv3rbh/my_26f_fiance_is_convinced_i_have_a_crush_on_my/)\n
\n
\u{200B}\n
\n
My best friend Sarah (26F) and her husband Matt (28M) have put me in a very difficult position with my fiance Jack (30M). I knew Matt since my childhood, he was my neighbor and we were friendly. Sarah and I were roommates in college and became close friends.\n
\n
When I introduced Sarah and Matt, they hit it off and started dating each other. I was happy to see two of my friends get together but also annoyed that I became the third wheel and was often ignored or set aside because they were so into each other. By the time I graduated, Matt had completely dropped me as a friend. That saddened me but I was still good friends with Sarah so it was what it was. Sarah and I would frequently hang out, but I never talked with Matt other than the occasional polite hellos. Sarah would sometimes try to do couples dates with her and Matt and me and my dates. I found that Matt had developed an unpleasant personality and would frequently be rude and condescending towards me. However, he’s a very devoted and loving husband to Sarah so for her sake I ignored him.\n
\n
When my fiance and I got engaged, we had no plans to do a party. Sarah was disappointed that we didn’t throw an engagement party so she organized a small get-together at her home to celebrate us. The party was nice and as things were winding down, my fiance and I went to thank Sarah and Matt for their sweet gesture before we took our leave. Matt was pretty tipsy by then and out of nowhere he suddenly hugged me and in front of my fiance said that he was so glad that I was finally settling down and he is relieved that now I’ll be over the crush I had on him. I was shocked and told him that wasn’t true. He just laughed and told Jack that I was always chasing him and he had to work hard to keep me away. I dragged Sarah in and asked her to please fix this mess and she was all like oh he’s drunk ignore him and says, you know I always trust you, I know you wouldn’t act on your crush.\n
\n
Jack was pretty pissed by this point and he walked out. I ran after him and tried explaining that this isn’t true but he told me he doesn’t want to be anyone’s second choice or their backup plan. Since that night he isn’t talking to me or returning my calls.\n
\n
I have talked to Sarah multiple times to clear things with Jack but she’s brushing me off. I don’t understand why they believe this or why she’d stay friends with me if she thought I was into her husband. I was in her wedding party and did all the work because her sister who was the MOH was too busy. I have helped her through her pregnancy and have babysat her kid so many times. She never gave me any indication she thought this and why would she want me close to her family if she believed this? I feel humiliated that these people think I was pining away for a jerk like Matt.\n
\n
I need help in convincing Jack this isn’t true. I am also mad at him for throwing away our relationship over what some drunken idiot said. I don’t know what I am going to do about my friendship with Sarah.\n
\n
**Update:**\n
\n
I talked to Sarah again and asked her first of all why she’d think I had a crush on Matt. She said that when I first introduced them I had talked up Matt and gushed about him and she took that as me being into him. I said I was fond of him since I’ve known him for a long time but that doesn’t mean I want to be with him. She said when they started dating I was often upset about it. I said I wasn’t upset about their dating, I was upset that she’d make plans with me and then leave me to be with him and when we were all together I didn’t enjoy being the third wheel while they ignored me. That had nothing to do with wanting him and more to not liking being left out by my best friend. I asked her why she hadn’t said anything before and she explained that she could “manage” the situation. She had asked Matt to stop talking to me completely and she engineered situations so there was little chance of us socializing with each other.\n
\n
I asked her now that I have explained that I never had a crush on Matt, can you please talk to Jack and tell him. She said she didn’t want to lie. This frustrated me immensely. She could ignore this imaginary crush for years and manipulate me, but won’t talk to my fiance to help my relationship. I told her I was done being her friend. Thinking back I was always doing stuff for her and she used me but did little for me.\n
\n
\u{200B}\n
\n
[Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wz6ubd/update_my_26f_fiance_is_convinced_i_have_a_crush/) (posted yesterday):\n
\n
Tl;dr: Jack and I broke up.\n
\n
I wrote a long letter to Jack explaining the entire history of my relationship with Sarah and Matt with the recent screencaps. I asserted as best as I could that I had never pined after any guy and I loved him and he was my only choice.\n
\n
After days of silence, Jack agreed to talk to me. We met and he said that he sees two ways of interpreting this situation. One, Matt and Sarah are right and he doesn’t want to be my second choice. Two, they are malicious people who are messing with me and that shows very poor judgment on my part that I’d have a best friend like this and he doesn’t want that quality in a life partner. Either possibility leads to the same conclusion that he wants to call off the engagement.\n
\n
He reminded me that I had represented Sarah as one of the most important people in my life. I’d jump up and help her all the time. I had once canceled plans with him to take care of her kid when the baby was sick. It had irked him but he had seen it as me being caring and nice, but now he’s seeing all that in a different light.\n
\n
I cried and begged him not to end our engagement, but he wanted a break for a while. I thought over what he said for a few days and came to realize that he was right. I was a clingy friend and a doormat. I never even saw how much one sided my friendship with Sarah was. I was a doormat with Jack too. I didn’t want to get married or have kids this early but agreed to his timelines. I gave up an exciting job opportunity with more money because he didn’t want me traveling for work. I love him but I need to fix myself and be stronger.\n
\n
I gave back his ring and ended things. I returned all the gifts he gave too. He was offended by that, but I didn’t feel good about keeping the very expensive things he had given me. He makes a lot more than me and was very generous with what he gave me, but I can’t keep that now.\n
\n
Sarah was quiet for a while but then started calling me. I ignored a lot of her calls but this morning I answered her call and told her about the breakup. I was looking for sympathy from my old friend. She was more interested in knowing if I was still going to watch her kid while she and Matt went on an overnight trip. She got pretty angry when I said no. I have blocked her now.\n
\n
I have lost my fiance, my best friend and my relationship with my nephew whom I adored, all in one go. But still, I am thankful for the comments that showed this wasn’t something I could fix and helped me rip off the bandaid and walk away from this mess.\n
\n
*Disclaimer*\n
\n
*This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
\n
Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/x02wg4/oop_learns_a_hard_lesson_about_herself/)
"""
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|
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145 |
DENIED
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DENIED
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moderate
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App\Entity\EntryComment {#2387
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+title: "OOP learns a hard lesson about herself"
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+body: """
*This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
\n
*I am NOT OP. Original post by* [*u*](https://www.reddit.com/u/Yourgirlanonishere)*/thra_Impress6525* *in* [*r/relationship_advice*](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice)\n
\n
Mood spoiler:\n
\n
show spoilerSad, but hopeful for OOP\n
\n
\u{200B}\n
\n
[Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wv3rbh/my_26f_fiance_is_convinced_i_have_a_crush_on_my/)\n
\n
\u{200B}\n
\n
My best friend Sarah (26F) and her husband Matt (28M) have put me in a very difficult position with my fiance Jack (30M). I knew Matt since my childhood, he was my neighbor and we were friendly. Sarah and I were roommates in college and became close friends.\n
\n
When I introduced Sarah and Matt, they hit it off and started dating each other. I was happy to see two of my friends get together but also annoyed that I became the third wheel and was often ignored or set aside because they were so into each other. By the time I graduated, Matt had completely dropped me as a friend. That saddened me but I was still good friends with Sarah so it was what it was. Sarah and I would frequently hang out, but I never talked with Matt other than the occasional polite hellos. Sarah would sometimes try to do couples dates with her and Matt and me and my dates. I found that Matt had developed an unpleasant personality and would frequently be rude and condescending towards me. However, he’s a very devoted and loving husband to Sarah so for her sake I ignored him.\n
\n
When my fiance and I got engaged, we had no plans to do a party. Sarah was disappointed that we didn’t throw an engagement party so she organized a small get-together at her home to celebrate us. The party was nice and as things were winding down, my fiance and I went to thank Sarah and Matt for their sweet gesture before we took our leave. Matt was pretty tipsy by then and out of nowhere he suddenly hugged me and in front of my fiance said that he was so glad that I was finally settling down and he is relieved that now I’ll be over the crush I had on him. I was shocked and told him that wasn’t true. He just laughed and told Jack that I was always chasing him and he had to work hard to keep me away. I dragged Sarah in and asked her to please fix this mess and she was all like oh he’s drunk ignore him and says, you know I always trust you, I know you wouldn’t act on your crush.\n
\n
Jack was pretty pissed by this point and he walked out. I ran after him and tried explaining that this isn’t true but he told me he doesn’t want to be anyone’s second choice or their backup plan. Since that night he isn’t talking to me or returning my calls.\n
\n
I have talked to Sarah multiple times to clear things with Jack but she’s brushing me off. I don’t understand why they believe this or why she’d stay friends with me if she thought I was into her husband. I was in her wedding party and did all the work because her sister who was the MOH was too busy. I have helped her through her pregnancy and have babysat her kid so many times. She never gave me any indication she thought this and why would she want me close to her family if she believed this? I feel humiliated that these people think I was pining away for a jerk like Matt.\n
\n
I need help in convincing Jack this isn’t true. I am also mad at him for throwing away our relationship over what some drunken idiot said. I don’t know what I am going to do about my friendship with Sarah.\n
\n
**Update:**\n
\n
I talked to Sarah again and asked her first of all why she’d think I had a crush on Matt. She said that when I first introduced them I had talked up Matt and gushed about him and she took that as me being into him. I said I was fond of him since I’ve known him for a long time but that doesn’t mean I want to be with him. She said when they started dating I was often upset about it. I said I wasn’t upset about their dating, I was upset that she’d make plans with me and then leave me to be with him and when we were all together I didn’t enjoy being the third wheel while they ignored me. That had nothing to do with wanting him and more to not liking being left out by my best friend. I asked her why she hadn’t said anything before and she explained that she could “manage” the situation. She had asked Matt to stop talking to me completely and she engineered situations so there was little chance of us socializing with each other.\n
\n
I asked her now that I have explained that I never had a crush on Matt, can you please talk to Jack and tell him. She said she didn’t want to lie. This frustrated me immensely. She could ignore this imaginary crush for years and manipulate me, but won’t talk to my fiance to help my relationship. I told her I was done being her friend. Thinking back I was always doing stuff for her and she used me but did little for me.\n
\n
\u{200B}\n
\n
[Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wz6ubd/update_my_26f_fiance_is_convinced_i_have_a_crush/) (posted yesterday):\n
\n
Tl;dr: Jack and I broke up.\n
\n
I wrote a long letter to Jack explaining the entire history of my relationship with Sarah and Matt with the recent screencaps. I asserted as best as I could that I had never pined after any guy and I loved him and he was my only choice.\n
\n
After days of silence, Jack agreed to talk to me. We met and he said that he sees two ways of interpreting this situation. One, Matt and Sarah are right and he doesn’t want to be my second choice. Two, they are malicious people who are messing with me and that shows very poor judgment on my part that I’d have a best friend like this and he doesn’t want that quality in a life partner. Either possibility leads to the same conclusion that he wants to call off the engagement.\n
\n
He reminded me that I had represented Sarah as one of the most important people in my life. I’d jump up and help her all the time. I had once canceled plans with him to take care of her kid when the baby was sick. It had irked him but he had seen it as me being caring and nice, but now he’s seeing all that in a different light.\n
\n
I cried and begged him not to end our engagement, but he wanted a break for a while. I thought over what he said for a few days and came to realize that he was right. I was a clingy friend and a doormat. I never even saw how much one sided my friendship with Sarah was. I was a doormat with Jack too. I didn’t want to get married or have kids this early but agreed to his timelines. I gave up an exciting job opportunity with more money because he didn’t want me traveling for work. I love him but I need to fix myself and be stronger.\n
\n
I gave back his ring and ended things. I returned all the gifts he gave too. He was offended by that, but I didn’t feel good about keeping the very expensive things he had given me. He makes a lot more than me and was very generous with what he gave me, but I can’t keep that now.\n
\n
Sarah was quiet for a while but then started calling me. I ignored a lot of her calls but this morning I answered her call and told her about the breakup. I was looking for sympathy from my old friend. She was more interested in knowing if I was still going to watch her kid while she and Matt went on an overnight trip. She got pretty angry when I said no. I have blocked her now.\n
\n
I have lost my fiance, my best friend and my relationship with my nephew whom I adored, all in one go. But still, I am thankful for the comments that showed this wasn’t something I could fix and helped me rip off the bandaid and walk away from this mess.\n
\n
*Disclaimer*\n
\n
*This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
\n
Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/x02wg4/oop_learns_a_hard_lesson_about_herself/)
"""
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Show voter details
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DENIED
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edit
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App\Entity\EntryComment {#2387
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+slug: "OOP-learns-a-hard-lesson-about-herself"
+title: "OOP learns a hard lesson about herself"
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+body: """
*This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
\n
*I am NOT OP. Original post by* [*u*](https://www.reddit.com/u/Yourgirlanonishere)*/thra_Impress6525* *in* [*r/relationship_advice*](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice)\n
\n
Mood spoiler:\n
\n
show spoilerSad, but hopeful for OOP\n
\n
\u{200B}\n
\n
[Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wv3rbh/my_26f_fiance_is_convinced_i_have_a_crush_on_my/)\n
\n
\u{200B}\n
\n
My best friend Sarah (26F) and her husband Matt (28M) have put me in a very difficult position with my fiance Jack (30M). I knew Matt since my childhood, he was my neighbor and we were friendly. Sarah and I were roommates in college and became close friends.\n
\n
When I introduced Sarah and Matt, they hit it off and started dating each other. I was happy to see two of my friends get together but also annoyed that I became the third wheel and was often ignored or set aside because they were so into each other. By the time I graduated, Matt had completely dropped me as a friend. That saddened me but I was still good friends with Sarah so it was what it was. Sarah and I would frequently hang out, but I never talked with Matt other than the occasional polite hellos. Sarah would sometimes try to do couples dates with her and Matt and me and my dates. I found that Matt had developed an unpleasant personality and would frequently be rude and condescending towards me. However, he’s a very devoted and loving husband to Sarah so for her sake I ignored him.\n
\n
When my fiance and I got engaged, we had no plans to do a party. Sarah was disappointed that we didn’t throw an engagement party so she organized a small get-together at her home to celebrate us. The party was nice and as things were winding down, my fiance and I went to thank Sarah and Matt for their sweet gesture before we took our leave. Matt was pretty tipsy by then and out of nowhere he suddenly hugged me and in front of my fiance said that he was so glad that I was finally settling down and he is relieved that now I’ll be over the crush I had on him. I was shocked and told him that wasn’t true. He just laughed and told Jack that I was always chasing him and he had to work hard to keep me away. I dragged Sarah in and asked her to please fix this mess and she was all like oh he’s drunk ignore him and says, you know I always trust you, I know you wouldn’t act on your crush.\n
\n
Jack was pretty pissed by this point and he walked out. I ran after him and tried explaining that this isn’t true but he told me he doesn’t want to be anyone’s second choice or their backup plan. Since that night he isn’t talking to me or returning my calls.\n
\n
I have talked to Sarah multiple times to clear things with Jack but she’s brushing me off. I don’t understand why they believe this or why she’d stay friends with me if she thought I was into her husband. I was in her wedding party and did all the work because her sister who was the MOH was too busy. I have helped her through her pregnancy and have babysat her kid so many times. She never gave me any indication she thought this and why would she want me close to her family if she believed this? I feel humiliated that these people think I was pining away for a jerk like Matt.\n
\n
I need help in convincing Jack this isn’t true. I am also mad at him for throwing away our relationship over what some drunken idiot said. I don’t know what I am going to do about my friendship with Sarah.\n
\n
**Update:**\n
\n
I talked to Sarah again and asked her first of all why she’d think I had a crush on Matt. She said that when I first introduced them I had talked up Matt and gushed about him and she took that as me being into him. I said I was fond of him since I’ve known him for a long time but that doesn’t mean I want to be with him. She said when they started dating I was often upset about it. I said I wasn’t upset about their dating, I was upset that she’d make plans with me and then leave me to be with him and when we were all together I didn’t enjoy being the third wheel while they ignored me. That had nothing to do with wanting him and more to not liking being left out by my best friend. I asked her why she hadn’t said anything before and she explained that she could “manage” the situation. She had asked Matt to stop talking to me completely and she engineered situations so there was little chance of us socializing with each other.\n
\n
I asked her now that I have explained that I never had a crush on Matt, can you please talk to Jack and tell him. She said she didn’t want to lie. This frustrated me immensely. She could ignore this imaginary crush for years and manipulate me, but won’t talk to my fiance to help my relationship. I told her I was done being her friend. Thinking back I was always doing stuff for her and she used me but did little for me.\n
\n
\u{200B}\n
\n
[Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wz6ubd/update_my_26f_fiance_is_convinced_i_have_a_crush/) (posted yesterday):\n
\n
Tl;dr: Jack and I broke up.\n
\n
I wrote a long letter to Jack explaining the entire history of my relationship with Sarah and Matt with the recent screencaps. I asserted as best as I could that I had never pined after any guy and I loved him and he was my only choice.\n
\n
After days of silence, Jack agreed to talk to me. We met and he said that he sees two ways of interpreting this situation. One, Matt and Sarah are right and he doesn’t want to be my second choice. Two, they are malicious people who are messing with me and that shows very poor judgment on my part that I’d have a best friend like this and he doesn’t want that quality in a life partner. Either possibility leads to the same conclusion that he wants to call off the engagement.\n
\n
He reminded me that I had represented Sarah as one of the most important people in my life. I’d jump up and help her all the time. I had once canceled plans with him to take care of her kid when the baby was sick. It had irked him but he had seen it as me being caring and nice, but now he’s seeing all that in a different light.\n
\n
I cried and begged him not to end our engagement, but he wanted a break for a while. I thought over what he said for a few days and came to realize that he was right. I was a clingy friend and a doormat. I never even saw how much one sided my friendship with Sarah was. I was a doormat with Jack too. I didn’t want to get married or have kids this early but agreed to his timelines. I gave up an exciting job opportunity with more money because he didn’t want me traveling for work. I love him but I need to fix myself and be stronger.\n
\n
I gave back his ring and ended things. I returned all the gifts he gave too. He was offended by that, but I didn’t feel good about keeping the very expensive things he had given me. He makes a lot more than me and was very generous with what he gave me, but I can’t keep that now.\n
\n
Sarah was quiet for a while but then started calling me. I ignored a lot of her calls but this morning I answered her call and told her about the breakup. I was looking for sympathy from my old friend. She was more interested in knowing if I was still going to watch her kid while she and Matt went on an overnight trip. She got pretty angry when I said no. I have blocked her now.\n
\n
I have lost my fiance, my best friend and my relationship with my nephew whom I adored, all in one go. But still, I am thankful for the comments that showed this wasn’t something I could fix and helped me rip off the bandaid and walk away from this mess.\n
\n
*Disclaimer*\n
\n
*This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
\n
Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/x02wg4/oop_learns_a_hard_lesson_about_herself/)
"""
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|
Show voter details
|
148 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
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+slug: "OOP-learns-a-hard-lesson-about-herself"
+title: "OOP learns a hard lesson about herself"
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+body: """
*This is a repost. I am not the original author (see disclaimer at the bottom).*\n
\n
*I am NOT OP. Original post by* [*u*](https://www.reddit.com/u/Yourgirlanonishere)*/thra_Impress6525* *in* [*r/relationship_advice*](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice)\n
\n
Mood spoiler:\n
\n
show spoilerSad, but hopeful for OOP\n
\n
\u{200B}\n
\n
[Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wv3rbh/my_26f_fiance_is_convinced_i_have_a_crush_on_my/)\n
\n
\u{200B}\n
\n
My best friend Sarah (26F) and her husband Matt (28M) have put me in a very difficult position with my fiance Jack (30M). I knew Matt since my childhood, he was my neighbor and we were friendly. Sarah and I were roommates in college and became close friends.\n
\n
When I introduced Sarah and Matt, they hit it off and started dating each other. I was happy to see two of my friends get together but also annoyed that I became the third wheel and was often ignored or set aside because they were so into each other. By the time I graduated, Matt had completely dropped me as a friend. That saddened me but I was still good friends with Sarah so it was what it was. Sarah and I would frequently hang out, but I never talked with Matt other than the occasional polite hellos. Sarah would sometimes try to do couples dates with her and Matt and me and my dates. I found that Matt had developed an unpleasant personality and would frequently be rude and condescending towards me. However, he’s a very devoted and loving husband to Sarah so for her sake I ignored him.\n
\n
When my fiance and I got engaged, we had no plans to do a party. Sarah was disappointed that we didn’t throw an engagement party so she organized a small get-together at her home to celebrate us. The party was nice and as things were winding down, my fiance and I went to thank Sarah and Matt for their sweet gesture before we took our leave. Matt was pretty tipsy by then and out of nowhere he suddenly hugged me and in front of my fiance said that he was so glad that I was finally settling down and he is relieved that now I’ll be over the crush I had on him. I was shocked and told him that wasn’t true. He just laughed and told Jack that I was always chasing him and he had to work hard to keep me away. I dragged Sarah in and asked her to please fix this mess and she was all like oh he’s drunk ignore him and says, you know I always trust you, I know you wouldn’t act on your crush.\n
\n
Jack was pretty pissed by this point and he walked out. I ran after him and tried explaining that this isn’t true but he told me he doesn’t want to be anyone’s second choice or their backup plan. Since that night he isn’t talking to me or returning my calls.\n
\n
I have talked to Sarah multiple times to clear things with Jack but she’s brushing me off. I don’t understand why they believe this or why she’d stay friends with me if she thought I was into her husband. I was in her wedding party and did all the work because her sister who was the MOH was too busy. I have helped her through her pregnancy and have babysat her kid so many times. She never gave me any indication she thought this and why would she want me close to her family if she believed this? I feel humiliated that these people think I was pining away for a jerk like Matt.\n
\n
I need help in convincing Jack this isn’t true. I am also mad at him for throwing away our relationship over what some drunken idiot said. I don’t know what I am going to do about my friendship with Sarah.\n
\n
**Update:**\n
\n
I talked to Sarah again and asked her first of all why she’d think I had a crush on Matt. She said that when I first introduced them I had talked up Matt and gushed about him and she took that as me being into him. I said I was fond of him since I’ve known him for a long time but that doesn’t mean I want to be with him. She said when they started dating I was often upset about it. I said I wasn’t upset about their dating, I was upset that she’d make plans with me and then leave me to be with him and when we were all together I didn’t enjoy being the third wheel while they ignored me. That had nothing to do with wanting him and more to not liking being left out by my best friend. I asked her why she hadn’t said anything before and she explained that she could “manage” the situation. She had asked Matt to stop talking to me completely and she engineered situations so there was little chance of us socializing with each other.\n
\n
I asked her now that I have explained that I never had a crush on Matt, can you please talk to Jack and tell him. She said she didn’t want to lie. This frustrated me immensely. She could ignore this imaginary crush for years and manipulate me, but won’t talk to my fiance to help my relationship. I told her I was done being her friend. Thinking back I was always doing stuff for her and she used me but did little for me.\n
\n
\u{200B}\n
\n
[Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wz6ubd/update_my_26f_fiance_is_convinced_i_have_a_crush/) (posted yesterday):\n
\n
Tl;dr: Jack and I broke up.\n
\n
I wrote a long letter to Jack explaining the entire history of my relationship with Sarah and Matt with the recent screencaps. I asserted as best as I could that I had never pined after any guy and I loved him and he was my only choice.\n
\n
After days of silence, Jack agreed to talk to me. We met and he said that he sees two ways of interpreting this situation. One, Matt and Sarah are right and he doesn’t want to be my second choice. Two, they are malicious people who are messing with me and that shows very poor judgment on my part that I’d have a best friend like this and he doesn’t want that quality in a life partner. Either possibility leads to the same conclusion that he wants to call off the engagement.\n
\n
He reminded me that I had represented Sarah as one of the most important people in my life. I’d jump up and help her all the time. I had once canceled plans with him to take care of her kid when the baby was sick. It had irked him but he had seen it as me being caring and nice, but now he’s seeing all that in a different light.\n
\n
I cried and begged him not to end our engagement, but he wanted a break for a while. I thought over what he said for a few days and came to realize that he was right. I was a clingy friend and a doormat. I never even saw how much one sided my friendship with Sarah was. I was a doormat with Jack too. I didn’t want to get married or have kids this early but agreed to his timelines. I gave up an exciting job opportunity with more money because he didn’t want me traveling for work. I love him but I need to fix myself and be stronger.\n
\n
I gave back his ring and ended things. I returned all the gifts he gave too. He was offended by that, but I didn’t feel good about keeping the very expensive things he had given me. He makes a lot more than me and was very generous with what he gave me, but I can’t keep that now.\n
\n
Sarah was quiet for a while but then started calling me. I ignored a lot of her calls but this morning I answered her call and told her about the breakup. I was looking for sympathy from my old friend. She was more interested in knowing if I was still going to watch her kid while she and Matt went on an overnight trip. She got pretty angry when I said no. I have blocked her now.\n
\n
I have lost my fiance, my best friend and my relationship with my nephew whom I adored, all in one go. But still, I am thankful for the comments that showed this wasn’t something I could fix and helped me rip off the bandaid and walk away from this mess.\n
\n
*Disclaimer*\n
\n
*This is a repost from reddit. I really missed this sub so I decided to post some top articles from time to time until hopefully one day this community will be large enough to produce its own content.*\n
\n
Read the original [here](https://www.reddit.com//r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/x02wg4/oop_learns_a_hard_lesson_about_herself/)
"""
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155 |
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edit
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App\Entity\EntryComment {#2108
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Show voter details
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156 |
DENIED
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|
App\Entity\EntryComment {#2108
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Show voter details
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157 |
DENIED
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ROLE_USER
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null |
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Show voter details
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158 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1434
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Show voter details
|
159 |
DENIED
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edit
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App\Entity\Entry {#1434
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Show voter details
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160 |
DENIED
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moderate
|
App\Entity\Entry {#1434
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Show voter details
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161 |
DENIED
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ROLE_USER
|
null |
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Show voter details
|
162 |
DENIED
|
moderate
|
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2360
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I guess it depends. The easiest thing would be making it inconvenient to get in the room for no perceived reward. Maybe it's a known room but everyone thinks it's empty/unimportant and it's blocked by an obstacle (boulder, waterlogged door, etc).\n
\n
If you're going to introduce higher technology or magic, then a lock would make the most sense. Maybe it's opened by someone or it could even be a time or situational lock.\n
\n
If there's high incentive to get into the room, then there's a couple options. You could make people believe they already accessed the room when the real room is hidden. It could be impossible to enter - no door, difficult material, catastrophic event that moved/blocked it, or even everyone knew of the room but doesn't know where it is now. You could make social deterrents. Maybe there's a superstition around the room, a religious indictment, security personnel, etc.
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Show voter details
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163 |
DENIED
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edit
|
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2360
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I guess it depends. The easiest thing would be making it inconvenient to get in the room for no perceived reward. Maybe it's a known room but everyone thinks it's empty/unimportant and it's blocked by an obstacle (boulder, waterlogged door, etc).\n
\n
If you're going to introduce higher technology or magic, then a lock would make the most sense. Maybe it's opened by someone or it could even be a time or situational lock.\n
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If there's high incentive to get into the room, then there's a couple options. You could make people believe they already accessed the room when the real room is hidden. It could be impossible to enter - no door, difficult material, catastrophic event that moved/blocked it, or even everyone knew of the room but doesn't know where it is now. You could make social deterrents. Maybe there's a superstition around the room, a religious indictment, security personnel, etc.
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…2
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|
Show voter details
|
164 |
DENIED
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moderate
|
Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Entry {#2360
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I guess it depends. The easiest thing would be making it inconvenient to get in the room for no perceived reward. Maybe it's a known room but everyone thinks it's empty/unimportant and it's blocked by an obstacle (boulder, waterlogged door, etc).\n
\n
If you're going to introduce higher technology or magic, then a lock would make the most sense. Maybe it's opened by someone or it could even be a time or situational lock.\n
\n
If there's high incentive to get into the room, then there's a couple options. You could make people believe they already accessed the room when the real room is hidden. It could be impossible to enter - no door, difficult material, catastrophic event that moved/blocked it, or even everyone knew of the room but doesn't know where it is now. You could make social deterrents. Maybe there's a superstition around the room, a religious indictment, security personnel, etc.
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Show voter details
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App\Entity\EntryComment {#1722
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}
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I guess it depends. The easiest thing would be making it inconvenient to get in the room for no perceived reward. Maybe it's a known room but everyone thinks it's empty/unimportant and it's blocked by an obstacle (boulder, waterlogged door, etc).\n
\n
If you're going to introduce higher technology or magic, then a lock would make the most sense. Maybe it's opened by someone or it could even be a time or situational lock.\n
\n
If there's high incentive to get into the room, then there's a couple options. You could make people believe they already accessed the room when the real room is hidden. It could be impossible to enter - no door, difficult material, catastrophic event that moved/blocked it, or even everyone knew of the room but doesn't know where it is now. You could make social deterrents. Maybe there's a superstition around the room, a religious indictment, security personnel, etc.
"""
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date: 2023-06-23 15:03:54.0 +02:00
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} |
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Show voter details
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167 |
DENIED
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edit
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App\Entity\EntryComment {#1722
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…2
}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2377 …}
+image: null
+parent: null
+root: null
+body: """
I guess it depends. The easiest thing would be making it inconvenient to get in the room for no perceived reward. Maybe it's a known room but everyone thinks it's empty/unimportant and it's blocked by an obstacle (boulder, waterlogged door, etc).\n
\n
If you're going to introduce higher technology or magic, then a lock would make the most sense. Maybe it's opened by someone or it could even be a time or situational lock.\n
\n
If there's high incentive to get into the room, then there's a couple options. You could make people believe they already accessed the room when the real room is hidden. It could be impossible to enter - no door, difficult material, catastrophic event that moved/blocked it, or even everyone knew of the room but doesn't know where it is now. You could make social deterrents. Maybe there's a superstition around the room, a religious indictment, security personnel, etc.
"""
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date: 2023-06-23 15:03:54.0 +02:00
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} |
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Show voter details
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168 |
DENIED
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moderate
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App\Entity\EntryComment {#1722
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date: 2023-06-23 13:20:34.0 +02:00
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…2
}
+magazine: Proxies\__CG__\App\Entity\Magazine {#2377 …}
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+parent: null
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I guess it depends. The easiest thing would be making it inconvenient to get in the room for no perceived reward. Maybe it's a known room but everyone thinks it's empty/unimportant and it's blocked by an obstacle (boulder, waterlogged door, etc).\n
\n
If you're going to introduce higher technology or magic, then a lock would make the most sense. Maybe it's opened by someone or it could even be a time or situational lock.\n
\n
If there's high incentive to get into the room, then there's a couple options. You could make people believe they already accessed the room when the real room is hidden. It could be impossible to enter - no door, difficult material, catastrophic event that moved/blocked it, or even everyone knew of the room but doesn't know where it is now. You could make social deterrents. Maybe there's a superstition around the room, a religious indictment, security personnel, etc.
"""
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Show voter details
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170 |
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