lemmyshitpost

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adam_y, in When you let boomers run social media accounts
@adam_y@lemmy.world avatar
elauso,

Absurdly long “article” and as always the answer is at the very bottom: Yes it’s fake, the Opera GX team likes to do this stuff.

DarylDutch, in Except maybe ...
Viking_Hippie,

Randall never misses ❤️

Brickhead92,
nilloc, (edited )

Alt text:

Hey, why do YOU get to be the president of Tautology Clu— wait, I can guess

FTFY

HootinNHollerin, (edited ) in King shit

This guy quaffs

can,

I’LL OUT-QUAFF YOU AND ALL YOUR FRUITY FRIENDS

OpenStars,
@OpenStars@kbin.social avatar

He was...thirsty

aeronmelon,

He’ll beach everybody off!

stinerman,
@stinerman@midwest.social avatar

I challenge you to a quaff-off!

AshKetchup, in The four houses dads belong to.

My dad gifted me a Dewalt Impact for Father’s day one year and I’ve been unintentionally stuck in that ecosystem since.

partial_accumen,

How have power tool companies not figured out Gillette’s trick about giving you a free razor on your 18th birthday to lock you in for decades?

root_beer,

Weird, I always thought that Gillette used the Selective Service registration in figuring out who to reach

Also, could the power tool companies afford to give power tools away like that? A razor is one thing but a cordless drill?

JJROKCZ,

That drill needs batteries before long and needs to have an assortment of bits to use with it, those companies often sell all the bits or own the company that does

Pistcow,

Dewalt has the juice to get it done but lacking g in specialty tools and their tough system sucks compared to Milwaukee. Coming from a guy with several grand of dewalt. Kind of wish I went Milwaukee but I’m in too deep…

Telecaster615,

They’re getting better on specialty tools the last year or 2.

The 12 volt line has expanded as well. I Didn’t need the 12v drill driver combo but wanted the 12v rachet they had as a free tool ona sale.

I rarely grab the 20v drill or driver unless the 12 just can’t get it done.

The tough system stuff is finally starting to catch up a bit. I will admit it pisses me off to no end that so many items that come in clam shell cases aren’t compatible or the tough system boxes could be designed with those items in mind as well.

Milwaukee is still winning that one but I couldn’t justify the price.

altima_neo,
@altima_neo@lemmy.zip avatar

I got my old man some DeWalt stuff. They’re excellent tools.

dipshit, in *Porcelain shatters*

A bit of advance for those who want very loud shits: get your ass crack waxed. I’m not even joking here, you will gain godlike powers in public restrooms. Consider for a moment how loud you can clap your hands. Now consider how much quieter your clap would be if your hands were covered in hair. I was dating an aesthetician once who waxed my ass after a boyzillian. My shits reverberated the corporate bathroom until the hair grew back in.

Swedneck,
@Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de avatar
dipshit,

chef’s kiss

Grass,

PuPLAPPLAPPLAPPLAPPLAP sploosh

dipshit,

Onomatopoopia

GluWu, (edited )

One time I shaved my butthole. One time. Not making that mistake again. I cherish my ass hair now.

eager_eagle,
@eager_eagle@lemmy.world avatar

The real mistake is only doing it once. It won’t itch or bother you after the first couple of times.

ButtCheekOnAStick,

Exactly what are you eager for, Mr. Eagle?

eager_eagle,
@eager_eagle@lemmy.world avatar

butt cheeks on a stick would be nice

GluWu,

I mean the itching was horrible but I’ve shaved enough other parts to know that going in. I’m talking about the farts. A silent butthole is essential to my daily function.

eager_eagle,
@eager_eagle@lemmy.world avatar

IME you just need to spread the cheeks a little bit to avoid the loud ones

occhionaut,

Finally, another Shitnobi

Fiivemacs,

Next time I’m in a public bathroom and someone’s super loud, I’m totally saying outloud ‘someome shaves their anus’ before leaving.

BarrelAgedBoredom,

Couple the shaved ass with a diet consisting exclusively of beans, cabbage, broccoli, and soft cheeses and baby you got a category 5 ass-tastrophy brewing

dipshit,

Mama Mia!

doggle, in If only it was like that

There are many people (particularly in northern regions) who would consider 50° to be quite mild/pleasant

jasondj,

New Englander born and raised. Thats hoodie and shorts weather. Best time of the year.

CaptPretentious,

Minnesota checking in. This is exactly correct. Great time for sitting around a fire.

robocall, in Humans Against Shitting
@robocall@lemmy.world avatar

I shit every day and can’t stop. I can’t control myself and my desire to shit is so strong, I find myself putting it before my family, friends, job, I’ll even wake up in the middle of the night with the need to shit sometimes. This addiction impacts my life every day. If I don’t shit, I start to think about it and worry.

ElBarto,
@ElBarto@sh.itjust.works avatar

I’ve got the solution!

Not eating!

Never eat a single thing again and you’ll never have to be burdened with having to shit ever again!

It’s free, easy and you’ll look great as well!

feck_it,

Until the day you die!

gravitas_deficiency,

Bro you just gotta hold your poop in

BananaPeal, (edited ) in NASA has some explaining to do
@BananaPeal@sh.itjust.works avatar

This is the right amount of crazy that I’m not sure if it’s honest or parody for this country.

Also: Jesus gets my prayers because he’s in my heart, checkmate atheists.

Sabata11792, (edited )
@Sabata11792@kbin.social avatar

This is the right amount of crazy to accidentally become real.

metaStatic,
AnonWyo,

Your cardiologist would like a word about having a 2,000 year old corpse in your heart.

jaybone,

But the body of Christ is bread.

AnonWyo,

Good. Christ can keep me hydrated.

Carbohydrated.

jaybone,

I’m not sure that’s how carbonation works.

But his blood will make you dehydrated.

CanadianCarl,

Which country?

BananaPeal,
@BananaPeal@sh.itjust.works avatar

The gun and Christian fundamentalist one.

AnonWyo,

MAGA. We put the Fun in “fundamental.”

CareHare,

It sounds horrifying if you put it like that. ):

Lifebandit666,

That’s not Jesus in your heart, it’s a worm

BananaPeal,
@BananaPeal@sh.itjust.works avatar

Wait, is that why people were taking ivermectin? Not to cure COVID, but to get rid of their Jesus heart worm?

AngryCommieKender, in Truly inspirational

294 lbs for other confused Americans, 133.4 Kg for everyone else that’s not British.

positiveWHAT,

Are you sure? 133 kilo is two of me…

prayer,

1 stone = 14 pounds ≈ 6 kilo

gravitas_deficiency,

What is this, Diagon Alley?

el_abuelo,

That’s why this is a news article, it’s really quite impressive in terms of both weight gained and weight lost.

AngryCommieKender,

That’s what Google said

lelgenio, in Trauma
@lelgenio@lemmy.ml avatar
TragicNotCute, in Electric eel
@TragicNotCute@lemmy.world avatar

That’s kind of shocking.

bartvbl,

A good summary of current events

ininewcrow,
@ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

Electrifying performance

Retrograde,
@Retrograde@lemmy.world avatar

This has sparked an interest in eels for me

Vinny_93, in Lazy knight

Working from home, am I right

Evil_Shrubbery,

Working from home, am I knight

sxan, in It's a good thing they aren't in charge of adult toys...
@sxan@midwest.social avatar

It cracks me up that they’ll sell chainsaws to anyone.

User_4272894,

I used to know a hardware store that sold guns in the 80s. Guy bought one, walked down the block, robbed a bank with it, and died in ensuing police shootout. Store stopped selling guns after that.

tyrefyre, in It's a good thing they aren't in charge of adult toys...

They should put what they are called in the electrical world to help drive home the point. “Suicide cords”

SnipingNinja,

Minus the cord?

ANewUser,

Suicide adapters?

A_Random_Idiot,

deathdapter

intensely_human,

Sales go up

PhlubbaDubba, in (Bad) dog owners be like

As the dog is charging up to you off the leash, “IT’S OK SHE’S FRIENDLY AND HAS GOOD RECALL TRAINING!”

BunnyKnuckles,
@BunnyKnuckles@startrek.website avatar

That’s weird, she usually only bites me.

Imgonnatrythis,

Was that a child’s leg that just fell out of her mouth?

BottleOfAlkahest,

I hate when people let their off leash dogs run up to my leashed dogs (we only walk in leash required areas). They always yell “they’re friendly” And I have to yell back “mine arent”. A suprising number of people still just mosey over slowly half-heartedly calling their dog while lm actively backing up and restraining my growling dog. One of my dogs is a rescue and she will fight anything if it charges her, a dog, a bike, a horse - she does not care.

Some people should not be allowed to have a dog.

Zugyuk,

“I’m not friendly, I hurt anything approaching my pups”

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