A NYE about a decade ago, I went to my then GF's neighborhood to spend the night together. At around 5am we left the bar and I wanted to head to the bus station to get the first bus of the day about an hour later. My GF proposed to go to her home to sleep for a few hours and return later. Didn't want to go because her mother would be sleeping but she insisted.
A couple of hours later I went to the bus station. It was completely missing, a drunk 17yo got his father's car with 2 friends, crashed into the station, killing both friends and a girl waiting for the 1st bus to go to her work. He survived....
The best way to get over a breakup is to hook up with as many random people as possible. Take a couple nice pictures, set up a tinder/bumble/zoosk/hinge/badoo/whatever dating app you choose and just get out there and have a bunch of casual consensual sex. It’ll feel gross at first but just grit your teeth and power through because it’ll feel a lot better after a while
It might have worked for you, but it didn’t work for me. Actively trying to distract myself with girls didn’t fix the root of the problem. I hooked up with about 7 girls in 6 months and I only felt lonelier after. For me, it was kind of like those self-improvement, wake up at 4 am, grind-all-day type of programs. It worked while I was doing it, but as soon as I was still, all the feelings that I had been hiding/avoiding came right back. It was a distraction, not a solution.
What worked for me was thinking and time. At first, I ran from the feelings, but as soon as I realized they weren’t going anywhere, I just embraced them. I cried and cried, thought about how I felt when I cried, thought about my options, etc. Evaluating my life, actions, where I had been, and where I was headed helped me a lot. After a while, I decided to get fit, find my style (clothing, colors, facial hair, etc), and make friends. People can feel when you’re confident and satisfied. When you’re not just looking for something from them because you have it in yourself. People like that.
Life is good right now. I have a new partner, and even though I still sometimes think about my first real love, it’s not a feeling of longing anymore. I just think about the good times, and I have accepted that we won’t get back together. On the slim chance that we do, it will be many, many years from now.
That’s what worked for me, but it might not work for others. The only advice I ask OP to listen to, is to not go down the path of hate. Don’t hate your ex. Don’t hate women. Don’t hate the world. Now more than ever, platforms like TikTok, YouTube, Twitter, and others will push Andrew Tate, alpha male, content to you. This is the wrong path. I’m not sure of the nature of your relationship, but even if your ex was a bad person, that does not mean the rest of the world is. Learn to love people for who they are, and you’ll find satisfaction when you let go of expectations. Relationships are an add on to your life, not the final piece to the puzzle.
Give yourself time to heal because you deserve it. If hooking up with people helps, then go right ahead, but it did not help me.
Use fans. Air blowing on you will make you feel cooler. If you don’t have air conditioning some houses can benefit from one fan blowing inwards from the cool/shady side of the house and one fan blowing outwards on the hot/sunny side of the house.
If you need to be outdoors stay in the shade, wear sunscreen, move more slowly, drink plenty of water.
I once bought a computer game at Walmart, I believe it was the original Sims game. Anyway when I got to the car I opened the package because I wanted to read the manual on the way home. I opened the package and see that the manual and everything else is there, except for the game itself. Luckily I was still in the Walmart parking lot, so I was able to go in and exchange it, but it was still annoying.
About 20 years ago I spent about $2k on a piece of electronic music gear on eBay. I was just out of university and this was a huge sum for me. It soon turned out that it was a fraudulent listing. This guy had gotten access to his girlfriend’s eBay account and posted a bunch of high value auctions and stole the money. A bunch of us victims were in touch and commiserating about our bad fortune. However, this story has a happy ending. The police got involved and were able to recover the money!
Probably my closest call is going on holiday one week and not the next. A nail bomb went off at the bus stop I was at, exactly one week after I would have been waiting there.
The one thing I don’t see mentioned enough for keeping your apartment cool is to close all windows and draw all curtains during the day and open them when the temperature outside is lower than that inside (normally ~an hour after sunset).
Heat reflects off all surface, so it’s not just about keeping light out.
Blinds on the outside of your windows help significantly too.
Totally. Blows my mind that people can’t seem to understand that if it’s hotter outside than inside, the inside won’t get any cooler by opening windows.
Last summer in London (42 C!!) we became a box of shadows during the day. Keep the cool inside.
I wish the temperature outside dropped below my house temp. If I run AC at even a money saving 83 degrees inside, the exterior doesn’t drop below that until around 6am.
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