I’m very sorry you’re going through this. Someone broke things off with me and it still hurts, even if it has been a while. The first month was the hardest, then it gets easier bit by bit. What helped me was keeping busy with work, I had a lot going on to keep me distracted. I tried to do things that I didn’t do before, or that I wanted to try and never got the chance to do, or stopped doing when I got in the relationship. I found it important to try to enjoy my solitude, but that takes time. Go places, even if it’s very near you. I delved into my hobbies to keep my mind off of it. If you can, try to process things bit by bit, just don’t try to escape your feelings in the long run, that fucked me over(It’s been a while since I avoided processing my former relationship so yea).
It’s so hard. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
I can say time will help. And that is very true, but it doesn’t help you in this moment. But it’s something to think about.
Meditation helps. I was in such a bad place after a breakup. I had a constant feeling of panic and depression. I started to meditate. Guided meditations from online. I would seriously meditate for 1.5 or 2 hours every day, sometimes twice. It helped a little and it used up the time I would normally spend feeling miserable.
My attitude was to find ways to occupy my time so I couldn’t use that time letting my mind spin. I started saying “yes” anyone asked me to do something that would use up my time. I made some friends because of that, too.
If you know how to take care of fish, there's some fish that are more personable. I had a Butterkoferi Tilapia at work who was fun, he would play with a ping pong ball, we had a constant fight on how we decorated his tank, I like gravel to be nicely spread out, he liked it all in one corner.
There's things like flowerhorns who like being stroked, or puffers who recognise their owners.
Depends on what you want in a buddy. Dogs are the obvious buddy choice since every dog actually wants to be your friend. I have a very dog-like cat who is very affectionate and follows along on walks etc but it’s hardly the norm.
But I do want to mention reptiles, especially crested geckos, as being a surprisingly practical pet and while you aren’t going to cuddle with them much they give you a lot of attention during feeding and are very calming to be around and watch while they roam around their terrarium. Sadly many lose interest fast but that means craigslist and similar websites are crawling with them so you can get a terrarium and gecko pretty cheap and if you live where the indoor climate is steady taking care of them is very easy and lower maintenance that both an indoor cat or a dog.
I have a younger sister, and we pretty much get along great. We live next door to each other (and near other family and friends), and her and her husband and I tend to go on trips semi frequently. We text frequently, and hang out etc.
I had cats all my life. I was born into a home with cats. There has never not been a cat living with me.
That said, I finally got dogs a few years ago and they are so much better at being your buddy than cats.
I still love cats, but dogs are so vastly different they don’t even compare. Having dogs is, I think, as close to having children as you can get without having kids. They act like toddlers, but they also learn, have unique personalities, show their affection more like a human, and are loyal as fuck.
The phrase “a dog is a man’s best friend” isn’t bullshittin’.
But ferrets and bunnies are great too but, yeah, just remember pets aren’t something you can get and then forget about. If you’re going to get one, be ready for the commitment of caring for it - even if it’s a fish or reptile. :)
I have a little sister (not so little any more, she’s 33, I’m 38) and I fuckin’ hate her guts. We don’t talk, I have her on block. She’s nuts and that’s about all there is to it.
asklemmy
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