confluence,

Redesign the spine for vertical use. Don’t put the eating and breathing tubes on either side of the same flap.

foggy,

We should have tons of little breathing holes all over.

Imagine if no one snored?

roguetrick,

While you can create spiracles that repel polar substances like water, you cannot protect them against surfactant like soap. No more showers unless you want to drown.

corsicanguppy,

So you’re saying I can kill a fly with some soap spray.

Wasps too? Those fuckers.

jennwiththesea,
@jennwiththesea@lemmy.world avatar

Wasps, definitely, and it does basically suffocate them. We use a water, dish soap, and peppermint mix on paper wasp nests that form in our eaves.

roguetrick,

You can waterboard them with it. If you want to effectively kill them, I'd recommend using the tried and true neurotoxin option sold at your local grocery store. You can be your own Saddam Hussein without having to hide in the most random places after committing your war crimes.

Tippon,

Never mind snoring, imagine how bad a cold would be!

foggy,

Yeah but we would have probably made weird body suits to deal with that by now if it were that big a deal.

We’re really, really bad at preventing problems, but were the best problem solvers we’ve ever found.

Seems just about every other animal is great at preventing problems. We’re the opposite.

key,
@key@lemmy.keychat.org avatar

So we’d have to be naked to breath at full capacity?

theneverfox,
@theneverfox@pawb.social avatar

Not necessarily. I’m far from sold on the idea, but lungs are able to take in enough oxygen to hyperventilate easily, clothes would reduce the maximum air intake to some extent, but from l full capacity would be max you need to breathe to max out your muscles - everything past that would be excess capacity

If we’re going for redundancy and throughput, clothes probably would be more useful as a filter than being a limiter (and filtration is why I’m not on board with this design)

ImTryingLemmy,

Yes, food hole and air hole should be separate

GreenDust,
spittingimage,
@spittingimage@lemmy.world avatar

I feel like I’ve already shit enough in my life.

corsicanguppy,

EscapeTheStall.com ?

spittingimage,
@spittingimage@lemmy.world avatar

If that page loaded for me, what could I expect to see on it?

HootinNHollerin,

Once every 3 days…

RBWells, (edited )

We should not get our adult teeth at 7 then no more ever. We need at least one more set.

I don’t think balding is useful, agree that could go.

Fertility should be manageable without using all the devices, hormones, etc. Like it should be a positive choice not a default state we have to harm ourselves to avoid. And I don’t think we need menopause either. Just turn on fertility only to get pregnant.

(ETA- I also think sexually transmitted diseases should not exist at all, they seem like religious fundamentalist biological warfare, but not sure what change in a human body could accomplish this and leave the pleasure intact. )

Appoxo,
@Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

We should not get our adult teeth at 7 then no more ever. We need at least one more set.

Just be a shark at this point

fogstormberry,

I’d like extra thumbs please

Sadbutdru,

For this one there’s actually technology in development right now.

Sterile_Technique,
@Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world avatar

Iirc there are some reptiles with two sets of eyelids on each eye, the inner one being transparent, so they can close just the one while under water or in like dusty/windy conditions, but still be able to see.

Humans need in on that action.

LordOfLocksley,

It’s called a nictitating membrane. Cats also have it to protect their eyes when they fight

spacecowboy,

We used to have that. It “devolved” into that lil bump in the corner of your eye by your nose bridge.

Sterile_Technique,
@Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world avatar

Sigh… we got rid of the cool shit, but hung onto time-bombs like the appendix. WTF, ancestors?!

spacecowboy,

Believe it or not, we’re beginning to understand the appendix more and it may not be as useless as we were told.

lifeandhealth.org/lifestyle/…/08288.html

Sterile_Technique,
@Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world avatar

Yeah that’s been the leading hypothesis for a while now, but even if that’s its intended purpose, I’d argue it still does more harm than good. I work in the OR, so I might be a bit biased by only ever seeing the surgical side of things, but we take appendixes out ALL THE TIME because like to inflame and rupture, which without surgical intervention means your abdominal cavity is now full of poop, and then you go septic, and then you die. Those little fuckers are SUPER dangerous.

Intestinal biome is definitely important - if it gets fucked up bad enough, some patients need a fecal transplant, which is exactly what it sounds like: they take a donor’s poop and shove it up the patient’s ass deep enough enough for it to pass and hopefully shed enough microcritters to seed a new biome.

…but we don’t get paged a 3am to rush to the hospital to frantically set up for a fecal transplant because some dude rolled into the ER needing a poop donation. We do get get those calls when some poor bastard rolls into the ER writhing in pain because his appendix is stretched to capacity and is getting ready to pop; or has already popped and we need to flay his abdomen open to clean him out.

So yeah, I’d vote to just make them not exist. If hospitals have to take on the occasional extra fecal transplant patient, I’d call that a fair trade.

hperrin,

Ability to go to sleep when sleep should be gone to.

Alteon,

Or the ability to forgo sleep indefinitely. I’ve got too much shit I want to do and too little time.

Rhynoplaz,

Let’s apply RPG sleep rules.

You can go for weeks without sleep, but when you do sleep, you awaken fully healed.

jballs,
@jballs@sh.itjust.works avatar

Got a feeling this would lead to 16 hour work days. And fuuuuuuuck that.

200ok,

Nothing beats the feeling of waking up after a good sleep.

How about, you only need naps and you always wake up feeling refreshed.

AND ONLY DREAM ABOUT PUPPIES AND SUNSHINE!

JusticeForPorygon,
@JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world avatar

I want a cancer ray for people I don’t like

nxdefiant,

you might be the only person who added weapons. That’s incredible, if this was reddit, cancer ray would have been post 3 or 4, max.

JusticeForPorygon,
@JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world avatar

Tbf I stole the idea from that clip from the Harley Quinn TV show (I think that’s what it was at least)

Kase,

I have one: ingrown nails and nail infections can go fuck themselves.

I have had FIVE consecutive toe infections in the last 18 months or so. I’m so done with it lol.

But on a broader scale, some people die or lose limbs from stuff like this, so it’d be nice if that didn’t happen anymore.

DredUnicorn,

I had a problem with this, just got the nail removed, it was best decision I’ve ever made.

Kase,

Thanks for the advice! I have an appointment in a week to do just that :)

Azal,

Kidney stones, gallstones, whatever the fuck the body does of “Lets build a rock inside the body that can fuck us up” needs to stop.

mumblerfish,

Yeah, can we at least not have so many pain receptors in along the kidney and baldder tract?

corsicanguppy,

Disagree: when something’s wrong there, you really want to know.

Check back after I’ve passed a kidney stone, though, as experience may temper that!

APassenger,

Disassociate. And do it a lot.

Or have meds.

Cannot recommend and I’m sure mine was minor.

berkeleyblue,
@berkeleyblue@lemmy.world avatar

Definetly periods, stupid design and incredibly rare in mamals anyway.

Also, a change of our metabolism, our current way to deal with excess energy is outdated. And maybe make us resistant to cancers, that shit sucks.

YoorWeb,
cm0002,

Hmm I don’t think we’re anywhere close to v1, were like, at best, v0.6 Alpha lmfao

recursive_recursion, (edited )
@recursive_recursion@programming.dev avatar

RFC, pull request to add git.

Reasoning: Having a built-in versioning system would allow humans to rollback roll back undesirable changes and advancements could be made more easily

please comment or downvote if this is a bad idea

corsicanguppy,

Bug ticket: you wanted ‘roll back’, there, two words.

recursive_recursion,
@recursive_recursion@programming.dev avatar

much appreciated +1,
fixed the PR

ArbitraryValue,

5v USB charging port.

corsicanguppy,

Obsolete in a decade, so make it hot-swappable.

(Because cold-swappable requires a shutdown)

tubbadu,

This would actually be amazing, calories-powered, you can charge your phone and also burn calories at the same time

Hexagon,

Ability to regrow lost teeth

Usernameblankface,
@Usernameblankface@lemmy.world avatar

How about repeated full replacement every 5-10 years?

gregorum,

I don’t know. That could become tiresome.

Rhynoplaz,

I love the idea of adults with loose teeth as their tenth set of teeth comes in.

corsicanguppy,

Door-string sale in aisle 8. Shoppers, stock up!

Usernameblankface,
@Usernameblankface@lemmy.world avatar

Sorry my performance has been below average lately, boss, I’m just getting my 8th set of teeth.

CADmonkey,

“Hey, go easy on Jim, he’s teething this week.”

TootSweet,

Just as long as I don’t grow my wisdom teeth back. I don’t want to have to have those removed again.

jacktherippah,

Had one lower molar pulled recently 🥹

danileonis, (edited )
@danileonis@lemmy.ml avatar

*if teeth are in a regular position.

Vex_Detrause,

Better foreign body-own body recognition by immune system. No more auto-immune, no allergies, MS, Lupus.

Modern_medicine_isnt,

This. The list of medical issues that would go away if the immune system were properly tuned is enormous. But since it isn’t, it errs on the side of attack to keep us alive… and in the process sometimes kills us or just makes us miserable.

tubbadu,

Back to monke

LordOfLocksley,

Advance to crab

HipsterTenZero,
@HipsterTenZero@dormi.zone avatar

crab people crab people

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • asklemmy@lemmy.world
  • localhost
  • All magazines
  • Loading…
    Loading the web debug toolbar…
    Attempt #