I’ve studied for years and got a well paying job, I cannot just switch to something else without cutting my pay in half. But my work isn’t enjoyable, it outright sucks on most days. Going to bed early surrenders the only time of the day I can be happy and skips right to work again.
What do you think I finance my happiness and wellbeing with? Having more ‘fun’ at work does not offset the new problems like worrying about rent or food. There is no happy middleground really, I mostly enjoy things that do not pay at all.
Sure we need money, but I personally always take a job that pay less but is fulfilling over a well paid one that makes me stressful / sad. At the end we spend most of the day working, it’s a matter of health.
Any parent knows that you can’t go straight from doing-stuff to sleep; your brain needs some veg-out stuff to just process things. (I mean, I can sleep, but something unpleasant builds up if you don’t let decompression happen)
By the time I’ve left work, done grocery shopping, made dinner, cleaned up after dinner, done laundry etc, it’s already late, and I’ve had no me-time to just decompress. (especially when chores drag out longer the more tired I get…)
And apart from that, there’s a mixture of FOMO, resentment and just clawing-for-agency that makes me rebel against the only boundary I can shift, even though I’m the one that suffers for it.
Hyperfixation on random topics. The other day I was so invested in the history of mobile phones that I stayed up until 2:30am by accident while researching useless info.
I absolutely love feeling sleepy. There’s nothing better than the dark quiet night in my cosy warm bed, with my brain feeling light and my eyelids feeling heavy. I edge that shit for as long as I can.
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