I think one of the most helpful things you can do for yourself in actually understanding WHAT racism is is to first understand that you don't get to call yourself anything. You're white because society deems that you're white. You can rail against that all you want but you'll still be white. Now not everybody will actually follow that logic, but the vast majority will because those codes are internalized. They can change over time (I believe that currently folks of the Levant are being slowly considered nonwhite despite them historically, within the last hundred years at least, being considered white) but they're unlikely going to change for you.