I’m over 30 and can still read this, but I have an advantage since most of the terms originated in AAVE (excluding baka; I can thank being a teenaged weeb for that). I’m guessing gen x and any of the boomers left alive would be having translation issues.
If you are culinary challenged like myself but would like to making pizza at home, here’s some suggestions:
Frozen grocery store cheese pizza but fancied up by adding whatever topping you are in the mood for. An “Italian seasoning” spice adds a lot of flavor.
Instead of a traditional pizza dough opt for something simpler like French bread or pitas. Slather on sauce, cheese, toppings. This was my introduction to “cooking” when I was broke.
Pre-made pizza crust like Boboli which is nice but ups the cost. You can also buy uncooked dough though I’ve never gone this route. I tried making my own dough back when bread machines were a thing but I could never get the hand of it.
Robin Hood pizza flour. I’m sure there are other brands but this is what our mom would use to make pizza most weekends. Now that I’m thinking about I’ll have to pick some up
Yes! We use mission low carb wraps (they seem to crisp up better) and spread tomato puree on top, then season it with garlic salt and Italian herbs, add clumps of grated cheese, and then toppings.
The trick is to preheat the oven to 400 with a cast iron in, and then spray with oil when you take it out ready to cook on (use gloves, it’ll be hot). Carefully transfer the pizza to the hot pan, return to oven, and cook for 10 mins. Depending on the toppings, and if you like it a little more top crispy, switch the oven to broil at the 8 min mark for the last two mins.
My new obsession is a little smidge of grated brussel sprouts (don’t knock it til you try it) with an oil spritz.
I’m probably going to try this, thanks for the write up.
Just yesterday I looked at the calorie count for my favorite frozen pizzas (Detroit Supreme, ~2400) and realized I need to cut it out entirely. This might soften the blow.
Yeah most pizzas run 300-400 cals a slice. If I really try to go easy on the cheese I can make a tortilla pizza for 500 cals.
I also make a wicked delicious lasagna without pasta sheets (sub for zucchini and kale layers). We designed it to fit our keto macros and I’ve kept it on rotation even though we’re only moderate low carb now.
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