CADmonkey

@CADmonkey@lemmy.world

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CADmonkey,

I enjoy a lot of books written by Larry Niven. But in real life he seems to be a bit of a pro-government totalitarian.

CADmonkey,

The last time I made anything like a profile for tinder was when I made one for PoF back in the before times, in the long-long ago, the year 2007. I didn’t have fish pictures, but I did have a picture of me riding a unicycle.

It was more effective than I expected.

CADmonkey,

I have a motorcycle. It’s a Harley-Davidson. Immediately, everyone is picturing a large and unpleasant looking bearded man riding a huge, noisy, vibrating, chrome bedazzled air cooled motorcycle without a helmet from one bar to the next.

My harley makes about as much noise as a Toyota Camry. I wear full protective gear when riding it, including a bright and attention-getting helmet. It doesn’t get ridden to bars, because drinking interferes with my motorcycle addiction.

The large and unpleasant looking bearded man part is accurate, though.

CADmonkey,

It has been my long-standing belief that a motorcycle helmet can prevent an accident. I’ve had too many things hit my visor while riding. Imagine taking a june bug in the eye with nothing but a set of oakleys for protection.

CADmonkey,

Guys, is it gay to avoid filling your trash can with a bunch of plastic bags?

CADmonkey,

My other half seems to think so.

CADmonkey,

Disc golf > ball golf. Don’t need a perfectly manicured unnatural lawn for disc golf, in fact that makes it a lot less fun.

CADmonkey,

There are two courses locally that are at least partially baskets in the woods. There is another a bit farther away that is completely in the woods, and uses old tires for the baskets.

None of them have a golf-course style lawn though. At the most, just grass that gets occasionally mowed.

CADmonkey,

I’m a large, unpleasant looking man living in a red state who has a pickup truck, and a harley. I’m married to a methodist lay speaker. I have a few firearms.

So naturally I must be the biggest trump supporting, red-hat wearing, religious conservative twatwaffle in existence, there is no other option.

As a result, the actual redhat cockwombles I work with think I’m going to be OK with their racist comments, and are shocked when I’m not. The thing that helps me with these guys is the fact that they are having to work from prints that have my initials on them so they can whine about the LiBuRl all they want, and I’ll still be helping them get their jobs done.

The traits they are assuming make me One of Them™ are just incidental things. I have a battered old truck because my wife and I have either a large garden or a small farm, depending on how you look at it. A Honda Civic won’t carry the stuff I need. (Neither will a van) I have a harley because the local motorcycle dealers are pretty terrible tp deal with, but the harley dealer is nice, helpful, and act like they want to sell a bike. I’m large and unpleasant because of genetics. And I have firearms because for most of my adult life I have lived somewhere that has an hour’s response time for law enforcement, and I’ve had to defend myself in the past. None of these things made me hate any particular group of people.

CADmonkey,

“What are some differences between these two groups that we can use to divide them?”

Fuck off.

CADmonkey,

Lol, he won’t have money or time for that fancy paint job if he has to keep that rotary engine alive.

CADmonkey,

I had a first gen Rx-7 and for a while the metering pump quit… and I ran premix like a two stroke until I could get a new one.

CADmonkey,

I used to have this truck. It was a 1989 C1500. It was a single cab, long bed truck which is the best configuration. Under the hood was a 5.7 liter V8 with very primitive fuel injection, and that was hooked up to a 5-speed manual transmission.

It wasn’t the fastest, most powerful truck I’ve ever had, but it had tons of personality and wouldn’t die. It was really fun to drive with the torquey engine and the stick shift which was the exact opposite of a short-throw shifter.

CADmonkey,

Dear old Dad had a Chevy Tracker, which is yet another name for Suzuki Vitara. He loved that thing and drove it almost a half million kilometers. Then he traded it on a Subaru that was basically done for in 240,000 km.

CADmonkey,

My wife and I used to take care of her grandmother. I had a simple VR headset and I would show her parts of cities she hadn’t been to in street view.

CADmonkey,

It’s even worse for me. I can leave the snacks at the store all I want, but I can’t escape because I can bake. If I get bored I’ll end up making cookies.

CADmonkey,

I like motorcycles. All motorcycles. Small, large, any brand from Aprilia to Zero. I like the way they sound, whether it’s a little two stroke Vespa or a ratty old Shovelhead or a six-cylinder Goldwing. They’re just so cool. And there are so many different engine configurations. Singles, parallel twins with 360, 270, or 180 degree cranks, V-Twins in several different angles and different crank splits, three bangers, four cylinders, even some with inline six or flat six engines. Just an entire mechanical symphony.

I like quiet bikes. I like loud bikes. I like electric bikes. Quiet ADV bikes, thundering cruisers, thumpy dual sports, screamy sport bikes, they’re all so cool.

CADmonkey,

Just commit a crime with a longer sentence than your state’s statute of limitations.

CADmonkey,

This has less to do with pornography than it does normalizing one more goddamn camera.

Say it again for the people in the back.

CADmonkey,

Karlach, all the way. And not just because she’s a 7ft tall beast of a woman with a machine for a heart who “Winks at her foes as she slays them”, but because her personality is very close to my wife’s.

Also, there is a specific scream that Karlach does when enraged that flips all my switches.

CADmonkey,

As much as I enjoy the scream?

Fun fact, my wife found out I liked it. And she ssid “I bet I could do that”. She didn’t get it quite right the first time, but she nailed it the second time. Which just flipped those switches even harder.

CADmonkey,

When my little 4-cylinder truck wore out in 2021, I looked so hard for one of the little kei trucks. But all of the ones I could find were $20k, or they were $15k and needed a lot of work to be driveable. And none of them were within 200 miles of my location.

I ended up with a used base-model F150 which only cost me $12k. It had 81k miles on it. As near as I can figure out, it started life as a rental truck for a hardware store called “Menards”. It has an 8ft bed, no carpet, no power locks, no power windows, no back seat, no touchscreen, and no color LCD screen in the gauge cluster. I use this truck for a small farm that my wife and I run, so it doesn’t get driven every day.

Im still looking for a kei truck, though.

CADmonkey,

The Suzuki Carry is the one I really wanted. I’ve a soft spot for tiny suzuki vehicles.

Every time I mention not being able to find one in early 2022, people come along to show me where I can get one now. The issue was, I couldn’t find one when I needed it.

CADmonkey,

It was half the price of the next cheapest truck on the lot, and the next cheapest truck had twice the miles. But the next cheapest truck had all the whiz-bang fancy electronics, instead of being four wheels and a truck bed.

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