IDontHavePantsOn

@IDontHavePantsOn@lemm.ee

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IDontHavePantsOn,

Used to see hydrox as a kid but haven’t for a while now. I’ll choose UTZ over any Frito Lay product. I’ll choose Humpty Dumpty over any UTZ product though. People are missing out on the ultimate overly seasoned potato chip.

IDontHavePantsOn,

If you hear “sausage cheddar biscuits” and think, “well that sounds unhealthy!” while clutching your pearls, then you don’t understand what’s going on here.

IDontHavePantsOn,

Your point is stupid because no matter how you make a sausage cheddar biscuit loaf, it’s going to be unhealthy.

Less processed? Yes. More tasty? Maybe. More healthy? No. Easier? No. Faster? No. Cheaper? Negligible.

IDontHavePantsOn,

That is an outrageously long time to wait for a laptop without updates. From the prices I just looked up, it also is outrageously expensive.

I would have sought a refund before now already, but that’s just my opinion.

IDontHavePantsOn,

Everyone hush… we don’t need a lucky 10,000 for this one.

IDontHavePantsOn,

Barbecue. Barbecue is the only thing we talk about here. Just don’t bring up the other B word.

IDontHavePantsOn,

Almost correct. Depends on the type.

IDontHavePantsOn,

Condiments are not to touch the fries until the chosen time. I would rather have ketchup in my hand than on top. Whether ketchup or mayo, it should be on the side. I can always dip a fry. I can’t Un-dip a fry.

Imagine you ordered delivery and the cook decided you wanted the ketchup how they like it, and 45 minutes after they came out of the fryer, a large man named Shannon riled up your dogs at 10pm, handed you a soggy box of luke warm, limp, sagging, already dressed potato sticks.

Yum. Sign me up for doordash premium.

IDontHavePantsOn,

He serves “ok” quality steaks, wraps them in gold leaf and upcharges thousands of dollars. His restaurant is the equivalent of the “I Am Rich” app. One critic called the whole thing dinner theater. More money than sense is required to dine there.

IDontHavePantsOn, (edited )

Speaking of AstroTurf, they certainly are the leaders of synthetic turf. Their artificial turf is not only aesthetically appealing, but is designed to withstand the demands of the game.

IDontHavePantsOn,

I’m just here to argue.

IDontHavePantsOn, (edited )

Don’t tell me what I want, and don’t tell me you’re sorry. Do you think I actually came here to abuse people? Do you think I’m that fucked up? Are you trying to tell me what to think? I know what happens next door, and you’re not going to get me involved with that weird sick shit that you’re clearly involved with. Maybe that would fly with your other friends, but it’s not going to here. Why don’t you just take your weird sicko bullshit next door and tell them about my abuse huh? Yak it up with all your sick ignorant friends, and pat each other on the back while crying abuse. I’m sure you’ll all have a really fucking nice time. Really. Go ahead and have a good time. Is that what you want to hear? Because if I say anything otherwise I’m the fucking asshole right? Well fuck you. I’m done. Got it? I’m done.

IDontHavePantsOn,

I’ll consider it when you give me a better option than to call you moron.

IDontHavePantsOn, (edited )

Everyone is choosing red because they think they would be rich, but would they?

Imagine having the knowledge, that you knowingly stepped back in time, and all of your memories are now not real. They won’t happen again unless you actually act exactly as you had before. No one believes anything you say because you are 6. You’re forced to go through school again at 6.

Let’s say you use your genius to progress quickly through school. Those sorts of kids become famous prodigies. You would end up on the talk show circuit with Ellen.

You would also know way more about your parents than you should at that age, and cause familial issues that would land you on Dr. Phil.

Imagine how torturous it would be to relive every moment, not being able to convince anyone of anything due to your age, unless you give up the fact that you were somehow sent back in time and know the future. Would you be able to convince your family without going insane? Would any government agency take qcute interest in your foresight? Imagine having to keep a level head while also going through puberty a second time.

How much will your presence affect the timeline? Maybe your first big move to get rich causes all subsequent moves to not exist. Maybe your parents hate you. Maybe it’s chaos theory. Maybe you end up taking a path away from opulence and become an addict due to the constant anxiety, regret and boredom. Maybe you become a nihilistic mess that drives you to a worse life than you had before.

I’d take the definite of $10M. I know what I would do with it right now. I know it would be good.

Edit: a downvote without a reply telling me how I’m wrong is really an upvote.

IDontHavePantsOn,

You do you bud. It’s all just opinions and assholes.

IDontHavePantsOn,

An adult stuck in a 6 year old body that somehow knows everything and is more mature than their parents and also has money to invest, that I’m sure that won’t rouse any suspicions.

IDontHavePantsOn,

💔

IDontHavePantsOn,

1000 forks plus packaging is 4lbs.

250 forks per pound.

Standard forklift capacity is 5000lbs.

250 x 5000 = 1,250,000 forks.

Maybe slightly realistically and safely, due to load height and placement restrictions, let’s just call it between 750,000 and 1,000,0000 forks.

Forks can fork a lot of forks. Fork.

IDontHavePantsOn, (edited )

96 cubic feet in a pallet stacked 8’.

580 cubic inches for a box of 1000 forks.

286,000 forks. That’s still a fork ton.

Over load in a bit on the sides or get a 4×4 pallet and we reach 410,000 forks.

Maybe I should sleep now.

IDontHavePantsOn,

Well fuck me. Ghosts are real.

IDontHavePantsOn,

Comfort items. Nice slippers, snuggie, robe etc…

Anything that makes lounging on the couch is fair game.

High quality bedding can be appropriate depending on relationship level.

Pro tip, work your gift idea into a conversation with them by complaining about your similar item. They will tell you if they love/hate their thing.

Bonus tip, once they start complaining about their thing take note of what they don’t like about it and solve their problems.

Listening to complaints is the real core of thoughtful gift giving.

IDontHavePantsOn,

I guess that might be what I was poking fun about.

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