@Kolanaki@yiffit.net
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Kolanaki

@Kolanaki@yiffit.net

I’m just a weird, furry, pan guy (cis he/him). I also have a big, blue username.

Currently on Earth for 8 years ensuring steps to unite humanity and usher us into the galactic civilization just so I can see my boyfriend again.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

Kolanaki,
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Doggy dog world

It’s a dog eat dog world. Bone apple tit!

Kolanaki,
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Sleeping on matter is detrimental to your health. To avoid back problems, learn how to sleep while levitating 3 feet off the floor.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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The villain in Ratatouille wanted to take over the restaurant, specifically for the name, so he could sell out with cheaply made frozen meals.

He was also a massive French asshole. 🤢

Kolanaki, (edited )
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“What is my purpose?”

“You help people get cancer by lighting their cigarettes, cigars, and pipes and occasionally arsonists burning down orphanages.”

“Oh my God.”

Kolanaki,
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Birthdays don’t exist. That’s a myth made up by Big Cake to get people to buy more cake.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Imagine all the people who would do the Matrix thing and learn martial arts… Only to gain the wisdom that knowing how to do martial arts doesn’t make it any easier when you’re fat and out of shape.

Kolanaki,
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Escalators can never be temporarily out of order. They can only be temporarily stairs.

What search engine do you recommend that isn't Google or Bing?

I’m still trying to de-Google my life, little by little. I don’t trust Bing for similar reasons. DDG is feeling shady of late. What’s the search engine you all recommend that I can inject into my daily life? Is there perhaps a search engine that is focused on code, or have we just all moved on to AI for searching?...

Kolanaki,
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I just make a post in NoStupidQuestions and use y’all like a search engine. :P

Kolanaki, (edited )
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Whoever made this clearly wants to eat Astarion’s ass. His tight, bleached, fragrant, shaved, gourmet ass.

Kolanaki, (edited )
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The wonderful thing about tiggers is that tiggers are wonderful things.

Kolanaki,
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I wish a homie would come over and glaze my doughnut hole 😩

Kolanaki,
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“This is what you get for having the name Bowser without our express written consent.”

Kolanaki,
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https://yiffit.net/pictrs/image/76d88a88-47ac-4621-ab76-b60fc0b49df0.jpeg

Kolanaki,
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Whoa what? 🥺

Kolanaki, (edited )
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closes lid

Sits down

Shits on lid

Flushes

Kolanaki, (edited )
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New Novel November

(November is National Novel Writing month in which you’re encouraged to write a 50k+ word novel)

Kolanaki,
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I once saw a crow look both ways before walking across the street and I thought “Wow. What a dumbass, he could just fly over it and not have to worry about cars.”

Kolanaki,
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That is an insult to Zorg.

Zorg is twice the villain that Musk will ever be.

Kolanaki,
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“How is this a double blind study?”

“Well you see, the participant and the scientist are blind.”

Kolanaki,
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I was a new dog owner, went to /r/Dogs to ask about a particular behavior my dog was exhibiting I’d never seen or read about before (turned out to be normal tho) and every reply I got basically told me I don’t know how to care for an animal and that I should give him to someone else.

It was then I realized that it wasn’t just /r/RelationshipAdvice that was full of bitter, jealous losers whose advice is always “dump them.” It applied to literally every single subreddit dedicated to advice. They may have started with good intentions and knowledgeable people, but over time filled up with people who had no business giving anyone advice.

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