@Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca avatar

Stalinwolf

@Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca

🇨🇦

An invincible wolf man, who is like a wolf in every regard save for the fact that he can fly.

(Note: This might be misinformation)

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Stalinwolf, (edited )
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HHHHEEEEEYYYY YYYYYOOOOUUUUUUU GGGUUUUU-UUYYYYYSSS!!!

Stalinwolf,
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You can fit so many Ink Spots in this bad boy…

Stalinwolf,
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I would usually just read whatever it said on the box and the customer would seem pleased with my knowledge.

Stalinwolf, (edited )
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I feel this, but it’s only one kid for me. Three must be insane. Most days I look forward to something intended to occupy that free time, but like you I’m always wiped or experiencing a headache by 8pm or later. So I’ve gotten back into reading. Low energy, comfy, can do it on bed. Except now I open the book and am nodding off between sentences. Falling asleep easier than ever, but doomed nonetheless.

Stalinwolf,
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This reminds me of the anonymous confession thing that made it’s rounds on Facebook several years back. My cousin would post links to his every day with messages like, “Let’s see what you’ve got” or “Give me your worst” attached to it. I suspect he was desperately fishing for compliments, or hoping for anonymous love confessions from the girls he was flirting with, as he would also post scrambled love letters on his wall that he must have figured these girls had time to sit down and eagerly unscramble (ie; I VELO UYO YLSHAE RMOE NTHA HTE UNS VELOS TEH ONOM). I always made sure to anonymously let him know what a stupid, annoying fuck he was being.

Stalinwolf, (edited )
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Produce Manager here. Place the end that opens directly between your two palms, and rub your palms together vigorously. The bag will stick to one palm or both, opening every time. Please stop licking your fingers to open these bags and then picking through our vegetables. You’re gross.

Stalinwolf, (edited )
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I manage a produce section at a grocery store and spend all day on my feet with no real personal workspace to unwind, other than a small shared office often occupied by talkative old women. I honestly love my job, am respected by my employer and I’m pretty well compensated (Canada), but even a desk in a cubicle looks kind of cozy to me. Just having a space for your things, a plant or two, a photo of your wife and kid. Not gonna lie, I kind of wish I had a small office and/or cubicle to retreat to. Even if it was just for the paperwork parts of my day.

Stalinwolf, (edited )
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I was the PM/Closing Supervisor at a shady (aren’t they all) Kmart for a few years. That job is the sole reason I will never work in general retail or a department store again. People would come on during the final closing announcements and disregard them completely, continuing to shop for 20-30 minutes even with reminders, and then arriving at the till breathing loudly through their mouths with huge books of unorganized coupons further complicating the transaction. God forbid you comment on the time or their lack of courtesy, lest you’ll be called a fucking racist and/or reported to the clownshow that was Sears Holdings corporate offices.

Stalinwolf,
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We just use a Santa hat. Looks great as a topper. Gotta tilt it slightly.

Stalinwolf,
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The recurring use of the word bird throughout that series is one of my favorite parts of the show. I love Birdman, the Australian mullet adventurah who shows about at the Air B&B togoonawalkabewt…

“What’s a robin?”

“It’s a little bidder!”

Stalinwolf, (edited )
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I miss hearing cardinals quite a lot. I moved from the Midwestern US to western Canada and have enjoyed learning the new birds (even bought the Audubon western bird guide to go with my old copy of eastern). I haven’t seen a Cardinal at all out here, but they’ve been photographed on rare occasions. I’m honestly just thankful that we still get robins every spring. It’s a nice reminder of home.

Stalinwolf, (edited )
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I googled “eldridge horror” and I’m enjoying all of the posts that meant to say eldritch. Though I suppose if you don’t read Lovecraft or partake in nerdom, eldritch isn’t exactly an everyday word, and I can see how it could be misheard.

Also fucking brilliant if intentional here. That gentleman is absolutely one Lord Eldridge, if I’ve ever seen one.

Native: “Tunga m’matwa?” (what the fuck is that?)

Dandy: “My dear savage, you look upon the esteemed Lord Eldridge of Banglesbury!”

Native: “Noka wat’ay?” (why does he look like that?)

Dandy: “My good savage, I’ve no idea what ever the fuck you’re saying.”

Stalinwolf,
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Do moms have fat cocks or modest cocks?

Stalinwolf,
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My mom swears that she was driving home one night with her cousin in the 70s and their car started floating 6+ feet off of the ground. She also swears it wasn’t at all drug-related. I think my mom has forgotten just how many drugs they were doing in the 70s.

Stalinwolf, (edited )
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360! 540! 720! 900!

T-T-T-TEN-EIGHTYYY!!

Stalinwolf,
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But you’re our potato bug. 😘

Stalinwolf, (edited )
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I began reading The Dunwich Horror last night and he makes mention of piping bullfrogs, and it sent me down this intense nostalgia trip over how well I know (and miss) that sound since leaving the Midwest. Who would have thought all those swampy BUNKS and GUNKS and BwwAaahhHhh-bwAaaAaahh-BwwAaaHhhh-BwwAaAaaaahhs would become such a cherished part of my past?

Gotta get me a plane ticket next Spring and go bullfrog hunting.

Stalinwolf, (edited )
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I know plenty of people dumb enough to take this as proof. I worked with a young guy a few years back who was standing idly by while I discussed PCs and malware with another co-worker. Idle guy joins the conversation to tell us how just recently he avoided some malware himself after receiving a popup from Microsoft saying his PC was infected. The popup included a number on the screen, which he called.

Relieved to have Microsoft looking out for him, buddy calls the number and follows instructions to give the person on the other end remote access. After which, the malware is allegedly removed, and he’s ordered to fork over $100 USD for the services rendered. Still relieved just to have Microsoft looking out for him like this, he forks over his fucking credit card information to pay for work. He finished the story with this very serious nod. A nod that said I really dodged a bullet there.

Poor blessed soul.

Stalinwolf,
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The 0 in your name made me think you were downvoted, and I started to get really worked up for about one or two seconds.

Stalinwolf,
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I’m yet to encounter the majority of issues I hear Lemmings griping about. Everyone has been pretty civil toward me. Every time my inbox blows up I feel dread, only to open it and find zero confrontation or vitriol. I’m not running into any racists, sexists, bigots, etc., and I certainly haven’t noticed a decline in content (I browse Top ~6 Hours).

I realize my personal experience doesn’t equate to these problems not existing, but I do get the strong impression that people are exaggerating greatly.

Stalinwolf, (edited )
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“Ayyye, I cast me evil eyyyye upon me neighbour, Garbbeus Vardicus Melatonus, I ken. Saba-ka-boo, a meta-ga-doo, a bibbiti, bobbiti-GYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! BE THAT A SMALL PENIS DANGLING FROM YOND WINDCHIME?!?”

“Yes,” her black cat whispers from her mounded shoulders, “A tiny penis.”

"Scandalous Effectus Mandellus, neighbour of me neighour, I cast upon you me evil eyyyye…"

Stalinwolf,
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Their shit must slide out so good…

Stalinwolf, (edited )
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If ya drink 'n wanna drive, drive the watermelon caaaarrrrrrrr… 🍉🎶

Stalinwolf,
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What movie is it?

Stalinwolf,
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I do it for the arteefacts.

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