@ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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ada

@ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone

Admin of lemmy.blahaj.zone

I can also be found on the microblog fediverse at @ada or on matrix at @ada:chat.blahaj.zone

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

ada,
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Either way, happy and merry Christmas to you :)

ada, (edited )
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Sure, I don’t know how I’d react. I know for sure I’d do dodgy, illegal things. I also know that legal and moral are not synonyms. And I also know that the only person I have no choice but to live with is myself, and I have no intention of doing anything that makes me hate myself. Stopping time doesn’t change that.

ada,
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your morals would go out the window.

Why would they? I don’t enjoy hurting people, and I wouldn’t start enjoying it if I could magically get away with it.

ada,
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So in this instance, you’re posting to a group on lemmy.ml. The way groups work is that the instance the group is on boosts any posts made to that group to users who are subscribed to the group. Lemmy.ml does not have access to your block list, so boosts it based on its own federation list

Authorised fetch fixes this problem in the wider Fediverse, but Lemmy lacks a proper implementation of it at this point AFAIK

ada,
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Why? What language are we lacking that would help if added, that wouldn’t just lead to more gatekeeping?

We already have the language to talk about various elements of social and medical transition.

ada,
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As I said though, what language are we lacking that we don’t already have?

ada,
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Well, the easiest example is that some people use “trans” to mean anyone who has physicslly started to transition, others consider someone to be trans when they decide to broadcast their new gender identity, and others consider them to have always been trans. The opinion on which one is correct is often quite strong.

Yep. People have strong feelings about their own journeys and identities. They’re welcome to do that. But when they start having strong feelings about other people’s journeys and identities, when they feel like that get to decide who isn’t and isn’t trans based on whatever criteria they particularly feel to be important, then they’re gatekeeping.

Those are the truscum and transmeds I want nothing to do with.

but that opens up the system for abuse by bad actors looking to false flag the trans community.

No it doesn’t. That’s just an excuse people use to post hoc validate their gatekeeping.

ada,
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I haven’t seen any gatekeeping to exclude those that haven’t gone through physical transition

There’s a whole branch of trans gatekeepers called transmed/truscum that do exactly that!

ada,
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But opening up that definition

It’s not “opening up” a definition. It is the definition.

But opening up that definition means we need another way to refer to people who are physically transitioning, because there are meaningful differences in their experiences and needs.

No we don’t. Not everyone who undergoes medical transition undergoes the same journey. Some folk want surgery, some folk want HRT, some folk want both, some folk want one but not the other. Some folk want to micro dose, some folk want to replicate cis hormone levels.

There is no meaningful catch all term that summarises the needs of all of those folk. Trying to find a single term to capture that spectrum leads to a single narrative of what medical transition looks like, and makes it harder for people to transition on their own terms.

The language we need to talk about these things already exists, and is improving and changing with time. Nothing is gained by returning to the old days of binary terms and all or nothing language.

there’s nothing inherently gatekeeping about it;

Yes there is. It’s defining folk who medically transition as being a different class of trans folk. We’re not a different class. We all of us have unique needs, and the language should focus on those individual needs, whether they’re medical, social or other.

Defining “trans” to be narrower than the wider definition is only wrong because we’re attached to the current definition

This is exactly the sort of thing I was talking about in my original reply. I’m a binary trans woman, who medically transitioned with all of the bells and whistles, and so I get lumped in with people who genuinely believe statements like this.

I actively, loudly and strongly disagree with what you’ve said here, and I hate that people often assume I share beliefs like that. Defining the term trans to be narrower than it is is gatekeeping, end of story. It denies people the right to their own identity. That is inherently bad. People define for themselves, even in a hypothetical scenario where bad faith actors try and fuck it up

ada,
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Let’s just say I’ve raised a child who is now an adult, all without a car. By now, I know the inconveniences and opportunities it costs me well, but for me, they’re just not enough of a reason.

ada,
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The thing is, hair is equally as heritable, and immediately visible. As humans, we can see and categorise skin equally with hair.

The fact that we don’t use hair as a major defining trait though is arbitrary. That’s just social norms, nothing more.

ada,
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Those are not major defining traits. They could be, but they’re not.

ada,
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I mean, for some it’s not…

ada,
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I run an instance focused on the needs of trans and gender diverse folk, because big instances run by cis folk tend not to deal with transphobia as well as I would like.

Centralised instances not dealing with transphobia is why I left most other social media platforms, so you can imagine I’m keen not to just repeat that experience here

ada,
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Since a lot of women have started to call their female friends “girlfriends

That was the original meaning of the word before it ever had romantic connotations.

From Wikipedia…

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the earliest meaning of the word “girlfriend”, from 1859 on, was to designate “a female friend; esp. a woman’s close female friend”. In the late 1800s, it took on the meaning of “A female with whom a person has a romantic or sexual relationship”.

Why do people hate on mobile games, call them "not real games" and mock them, when some mobile-exclusive games are the best games I've played?

The Infinity Blade or Minigore series, for example, or anything made by Illusion Labs. These games are genius and most consoles don’t even have a touch screen or utilise it well like some smartphone games do....

ada,
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I’ve yet to meet a game with a touch screen interface that doesn’t annoy the hell out of me

ada,
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he

She

Europe

Australia

ada,
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I’m pretty sure everyone Americans says this after thanksgiving

ada,
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There’s an upcoming change in Lemmy as a whole that will essentially get rid of the scores altogether

Any chance you can expand on that?

ada,
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Stick at it, you’ll see it

ada,
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The three brackets are a nazi dog whistle.

ada,
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!baldurs_gate_3

ada,
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I mean, they’re not going to magically appear without people engaging…

Does federation connect to a single lemmy network, or can there be multiple?

When a lemmy instance federates, does it connect to one big lemmy network, or can there be multiple disconnected, yet locally federated instances? What I’d like to know is, can I simply join any Lemmy server and choose “All” to view everything Lemmy has to offer, or is there still hidden content?...

ada,
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More impossible than improbable. An instance that willingly federates with every other instance would be blocked in a heart beat by many other instance admins, because if they’re fine federating with CSAM, nazis and the like, then they’re not going to be welcome.

ada,
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Your instance connects directly to other instances. All of the lemmy instances doing that with each other is the lemmy network.

Each instance can connect with any other instance unless blocked, but will not do so until someone on your instance follows a community on the remote instance.

In short, there is no way to see everything, and there is no one true view

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