sugar_in_your_tea

@sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works

Mama told me not to come.

She said, that ain’t the way to have fun.

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sugar_in_your_tea,

Yeah, sometimes life be like that.

One thing that has helped me is to figure out what the consequences are for failure. If I don’t pay my credit card bill, my credit will get dinged and I may have to deal with a lawsuit some months down the road for failure to pay. Or if I don’t pay my rent, I’ll be kicked out and need to stay with friends or go to the local homeless shelter. Even if the consequences really suck, knowing what they are helps me stop worrying about what they could be.

The next step is to take a small step toward solving the problem. Maybe I can’t financially handle losing my job today, but I can save a little cash so I’ll be able to handle losing it in a few months. Making some progress feels good, even if the progress is slow. Keep coming up with a baby step toward a solution and you’ll eventually get there. Maybe you save some cash this month, then spend the cash on something to help you save more next month (e.g. maybe buy a staple in bulk to save per unit).

sugar_in_your_tea,

Yup, we have the exact same problem.

I’ve found, “I don’t know, let’s look into it” to be pretty effective at switching from worrying to problem solving, and as we go, my SO will usually get over the worrying and apologize for being dramatic. It doesn’t always work, but maybe it’s worth a shot.

sugar_in_your_tea,

I should’ve added “given enough time” to that statement.

My take is that if you accept that there’s nothing you can do, then that’s it. If you don’t accept that, you have a chance of improving the outcome, even if it’s small. Giving up never improves your outcomes, there’s always something you can try that both won’t make things worse and might make things better.

In your scenario, you have two options: accept death or try something. Since you aren’t going to make it worse, you might as well try something. Some options:

  • pick the lock
  • break the lock
  • squeeze through the bars
  • try to use magic to grow gills or something

Literally any of those has a higher chance of success than doing nothing, and if you had more time, one of the first three might even work. If by some miracle you get out, the next step is to look for a pocket oh air. And so on. Take it one step at a time.

sugar_in_your_tea,

Sometimes they want to be validated, sometimes they want to be assured that it’s going to be okay. And I’m bad at telling which is which.

sugar_in_your_tea,

If there’s no solution, there’s no point in trying, so you need to believe there’s always a solution. Maybe there’s no apparent solution, but with some effort one can be discovered.

some people starving

And if they do nothing, they will continue to starve. If they try something, maybe they won’t. Some options:

  • apply for government assistance, if available
  • apply for additional jobs
  • scavenge
  • sell things to buy food
  • change other spending habits
  • steal
  • commit a crime bad enough to go to jail (prisoners get fed)

Each of those has difference costs, chances of success, and chances of making your situation worse. You know what you’ll get if you do nothing, so it’s probably better to try something.

in agreement

IDK, my goal in online discussions isn’t to reach agreement, but to fully explain my side and understand the other person’s side. Maybe I’ll convince them, maybe they’ll convince me, but either way, the discussion should provide value for the next person who comes along and reads it.

sugar_in_your_tea,

That’s not worrying though. Worrying is unproductive fear of the unknown, your steps eliminate the unknown and use logic to solve the problem. That’s good, but you need to be able to break the worry cycle so your logical brain can step in.

sugar_in_your_tea,

Relevant Seinfeld.

sugar_in_your_tea,

That link says 2024, yours says 2023.

sugar_in_your_tea, (edited )

There are a lot of references to stuff people in the 80s and 90s would be familiar with. But a lot is just absurd as well.

I think this one is more on the absurd end of the spectrum.

sugar_in_your_tea,

Yes, it absolutely is digging. This comic was released way before COVID-19 was a thing. The most recent pandemic was probably Spanish Flu, which was before his time.

sugar_in_your_tea,

William James “Count” Basie.

sugar_in_your_tea,

I first heard it on Seinfeld. It’s amazing that it was used so much in pop-culture.

sugar_in_your_tea,

Until he wakes up and remembers he’s a washed up guitarist.

sugar_in_your_tea,

But if they did, this would still be a ridiculous handicapped parking spot.

sugar_in_your_tea,

No, MJ was a doorstop. OP was mistaken.

sugar_in_your_tea,

I feel like this could really benefit from some text below it. It’s great as-is, I just think there’s room for another chuckle.

sugar_in_your_tea,

Can confirm, I’ve misplaced enough pens that there’s always one within reach.

sugar_in_your_tea,

Can’t confirm.

sugar_in_your_tea,

Waves vaguely in the direction of the community title.

sugar_in_your_tea,

One of the few cases where the text isn’t needed, but provided.

sugar_in_your_tea,

It was used in pop culture like 100 years ago and just stuck around.

sugar_in_your_tea,

This was one of my favorites as a kid, and I still love it. :)

sugar_in_your_tea,

The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had.

sugar_in_your_tea,

I think the difference in building codes alone could make this much less expensive.

My understanding is these places are designed to promote the independence of residents to give them a base to build on to put their life back together. The separate space really helps drive that home in a way that an apartment can’t. In an apartment, you can often hear what’s going on in the next room, and that’s not great when you’re trying to build better habits and your neighbor isn’t.

sugar_in_your_tea, (edited )

Relevant cicada news for 2024.

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