While I wouldn’t necessarily go to bed with all of them, there are a number of people who have deeply impacted my life in distinct ways, and from whom I have learned a great deal. Hell, I don’t even like all of them, but that doesn’t mean they’re not a meaningful part of my life.
Agree with your take on adding another person to solve problems - always a terrible idea.
My idea of ‘consenting adults’ has morphed significantly between, say, 21 and… my current age. Even the subsets of ‘consent’ and ‘adult’ have morphed. But at the end of the day, honesty is all that we have.
I adore spending time with my wife - whether we’re ‘doing’ something’ together, or doing individual things we can talk about later.
Poly means never running out of topics of conversation, or ways to understand each other.
‘Why her?’ really means 'Our relationship evolves, as all relationship should, what interest you about her and how can I support you?"
That “how can I support you?” question is critical, and we’ve been married long enough that I never doubt the legitimacy of the question.