SamsonSeinfelder, 1 year ago (edited 1 year ago)

Buy her a small doll brush for her hairy bodyparts. Set up a daily brushing ritual by annoucing it by ringing a bell for maximum conditioning. Buy small pearls and ornaments, that you weave into the longest of her hairs on her legs and arms. Call her your Afghan Hound. Bark when you cone home. Whenever you watch TV and a Shaving ad runs, visibly, without looking at her, slowly increase the volume and decrease it as slowly when the ad is over. Be obvious. Never talk about it. Have always a big bowl of Kiwis at the dinnertable, that you all shave in her present and be very vocal about how it is very important for you. Put hair in every second dish and make it a constant topic of discussions. Do so at every restaurant visit too. Collect every clog of hair from every drain at home and store it visibly in big masonjars on shelves above the doorframes and label them (with an electronic labelmachine) all with her name. Pay for her and your therapy two years later.