Conversely, I am not LGBTQ+ and I don’t need to be in their space. They get to deal with normies all the time in everyday life.
Tbh this experience explains the be nice rule. We often get to be treated badly in everyday life. Many of us experience a passive level of hostility and interrogation just out in the world living our lives. A portion of people internalize a portion of what they hear, which leads to hostility and conflict within the community. To counter the flow of outside hate into the group, many LGBTQ+ communities have that sort of blanket tone rule. When you’re sorting out that you’re a different and controversial type of person, it’s important to have a space to express yourself without intense scrutiny. You need a place where it is safe to be wrong, because you’re often declared wrong and attacked just for being there, so you can’t judge your own thoughts and feelings. It’s important that people in that position can be helped and directed without being stifled. Otherwise the true form of the self can be lost to self defense conformity.