Xmas for me was ruined because I found a guy that was robbed and dumped in the middle of nowhere during my drive.
Helping him fucked up my entire days plans and even the little festivities I wanted to take part in but bloody hell who robs someone on Xmas and then leaves them to die? Ofc I had to help.
The intense rain didn’t help. I think I’m ill now.
Hope you're both doing alright. I guess one could say something about how helping others is what Christmas is all about or whatever, but seriously, what the fuck is wrong with people.
Good thing you were there to be a decent human being in a shitty situation.
Glad you were there to help at least. I imagine being robbed and murdered and dying in the rain would rank towards the high end of the “worst Christmases ever”. If nothing else today will be one of your more memorable ones.
Thank you for being a good person anyway! Your plans may both have been ruined, but you’re a hero to that guy! You’ll both remember each other for the rest of your lives!
I said above that Christmas is alien to me, but isn’t helping people and doing good the whole ‘spirit of Christmas’ thing? In a sense, you had the most appropriate Christmas even though it wasn’t the most pleasant.
And, of course, you helped save a life. You’re a hero!
Broke my wrist a couple days before Christmas. Right at the most painful point today. Just looking at it makes it pulse and hurt. Can’t get to a specialist till maybe tomorrow. Arrgh
My supposed best friends gave me and my husband a bottle of wine for Christmas. I can’t drink wine because I have an allergic reaction to something in wine, and they are very aware of this after me having reactions to foods at restaurants we would go to together. So they gave ‘us’ a gift that I can’t actually have.
This comes after my husband and I have spent the last year being there for them through losing their jobs, their car, almost losing their house, and a bunch of other drama. It also comes after we spent all day making a meal free of their allergies, as I always do, and after I spent several days making Christmas cookies that are safe for them.
I don’t know if the bottle of wine is cheap or expensive, and it honestly doesn’t matter. Last year they got me an ornament for our tree, and it is one of my dearest possessions because it has a small poem about friendship on it. This year’s gift stung because of how much of ourselves we gave to them, only for them to clearly pick up something last minute and without any thought.
I don’t really have any family or other friends to celebrate with, so the most important people to me besides my husband are them. It hurts to see how little I apparently mean to them in comparison…
If you are asking if she knew beforehand, yes. We once had to rush out of a restaurant because a dish included wine and I didn’t know until my mouth felt like it was on fire. She has been there many times as I have had to explain it to others, and when I have been checking food to make sure it doesn’t have wine or vinegar.
If you are asking if I have mentioned it to her since she gave me the gift, no. I haven’t had the energy to try to deal with that conversation, I still have plans with people through New Year’s. I will probably bring it up in a few days, but right now it hurts to even think about and I just want to get through the rest of the holidays.
I understand, however, this is going to bother and poison you slowly but steadily if you don’t address it with her.
Just ask her straight-up: girl, you know I’m allergic to wine and felt not great when you gave the thing I’m allergic to as a gift and my partner can’t enjoy it with me. What’s up with that?
If its an oversight hopefully she owns up. If not, well, theres bigger problems and either way she’s signalling to you to get out of her life or whatever.
Keep me posted if you don’t mind, but make no mistake: you will basically almost certainly have to address this at some point in the future, don’t let it destroy you until you do it anyway
Oh I will be having that conversation in a few days. I am taking a lesson from my therapist and letting myself rest from the hurt and decide what kind of resolution I want. I have a history of crumbling when I get pushback for standing up for myself, so giving myself time to sit with the feeling for a couple of days helps my brain realize that what she did was actually bad, and not just me overreacting.
But, coming from a family where we all suck at gifts, it is somewhat relatable. It is unbelievable how difficult and anxiety-provoking gift buying can be for some people, and caring more about someone only makes it harder. In the end one could land on something awful and last minute after worrying about it for months, and it seems like one simply doesn't care.
I of course don't know this specific situation, and it is indeed a particularly bad gift considering your allergy. But don't read it as a sign that they don't care - it could be that they care quite a lot, and that it's a case of something else entirely.
Our cat got a full urinary blockage, so we’ve been at the vet dealing with that. My mom’s horse got colicky, and seems like she’s got twisted guts, so she’s been dealing with that. Dad broke his hip last week, and has developed a foot infection that he can’t deal with properly, so he’s been at the emergency clinic dealing with that. I got socks though, and I’m super jazzed about that. And donated a bunch of money to the food bank, so at least some people can eat today.
Well done for giving despite all the crap you’ve had to deal with. Sorry about all the bad luck. I am also pleased about your socks. Nice socks are far rarer than they should be.
Thanks. It’s been a hell of a year. We went from pretty financially secure in July to basically unable to pay bills in December, and we haven’t changed anything. Then the food bank put out a call that they have 5000 new visitors this year, on top of the 12000 regulars. If we’re in the shit, then everyone below us is deeper in it, and need cash more than we do. Not sure how we’re gonna pay for our little guy though, that set us back two months wages.
My existence. I’d rather not celebrate Christmas, although preferably any other holiday as well. But I especially hate Christmas. I’d rather just keep going on as usual.
My mom’s a hoarder, so first thing is finding some space that will be enough for a Christmas tree in all that trash. That 2 decades old tree that will soon have no more plastic to shed really fits into that atmosphere. Then remove trash from table to put food there.
My parents will then pretend to be a moderately happy family for the next 2-3 days before returning to “normal”. (They can’t get a divorce “because God forbids it”)
There’s also the aspect of mandatory gifts. I don’t know what you want, you don’t know what I want. We could both save money (and generate less waste) by leaving that out. I don’t want anything. It’s by far worse to deal with unnecessary gifts than simply nothing.
Decorations. Why? It’s everywhere. Blinking lights, glitter, chains and whatnot. Just another thing to deal with, another thing to spend money on, more waste produced.
Music. It’s like 3 songs on repeat the whole Christmas. Everywhere I go.
TV shows. Suddenly it’s all Christmas-themed. All showing unrealistically happy families.
There’s a bunch of other reasons, but it’s hard to list those. I’d just rather not be conscious during these times, just skipping it.
At least I have a dog.
I’d just rather keep going to school. I wouldn’t have to be home at least. And almost all of my teachers are nice. School lunch is also generally good. Oh, and I can take train/bus rides. Those can be quite refreshing. I can be there for hours. If the school ends sooner, I can extend my commute. So far the best one I can take extends it from just 45 minutes to much nicer 6 hours. It includes 2 city bus rides, 1 intercity bus ride, 1 train ride and some time for a walk in a city further away.
It seems like you're going through a rough time, but that you're dealing with it in a healthy way and set to find true value in life. You will be out on your own soon enough, and you'll do great. Time goes by very fast at least in retrospect.
It seems your parents have their set of pretty deep issues, but it's at least cute that they are making the effort.
Sounds like you don’t hate Christmas, but instead the absolute fakery surrounded by piles of garbage that Christmas with your parents is. I hope you’re able to find new ways to spend time in the middle of winter doing the things you find enjoyable, with people who you find to be authentic, without mandatory gifts.
There were a lot of people I didn’t buy anything for this year because finances are extra tight. I liked that. Only bought for people that I know will enjoy and use what I got them, even though it’s cheap.
My Wife’s Father. I don’t care for him even if he has changed following a letter she wrote to him saying she’d be out of his life if he didn’t. In the past he beat her Mom and put my Wife through constant guilt trips. He honestly has changed a lot since the letter and he does very well with his grand daughter, but I just wanted to be home with my wife and daughter after working 70 hours out of state on a retrofit job. My Wife’s mother and step father will be visiting new years weekend. I just want it to be my family, but my Wife needs the help watching our daughter while I’m gone for work, so I just put up with it like any decent human would.
It's like a trope. Old men who used to be really shitty fathers and now desperately try to cling on to the image of themselves as the heads of the family even though they will never truly be forgiven for who they used to be, and everyone are kind of afraid that they still are.
It's sad, it's painful, and it's fucking impossible to deal with in a good way.
It’s not “ruined” but my 3 week old daughter has been particularly cranky today, she refuses to go to sleep despite multiple feeding sessions, diaper changes, and attempts at burping. I’m already tired because I took most of last night’s shifts, so I’m glad we’re not leaving the house. It’s a bit of a bummer because I usually love everything about Christmas (the music, the lights, the food, the presents) and we are pretty much missing all of that this year. I can’t wait to make up for it in future years though!
The first few months are so hard, you’re doing great! You are sacrificing this Christmas, but for the next few years you’ll get all your joy and all hers. I got to see my 13 month old open presents for the first time today, and it was worth all those sleepless nights.
(Also note she was way more interested in the boxes and wrapping paper than the gifts…) 😅
I have an 11 year old boy and this Christmas we had the talk about the reality of Santa Claus. He’d suspected for years. The last 7 Christmas seasons or so were filled with excitedly tearing into gifts with glee which, admittedly has been a joy and privilege to watch and be part of.
This year I talked with him about how the concept of Santa is just a way adults can give gifts without any expectations in return, because the real joy is watching others experience that glee. So I worked with him in early December to carefully watch the people around him for things that might bring them joy to receive. On Christmas morning he was so excited to see others open his gifts!
Now I’m cognizant that there may be fewer years ahead of us than behind us with him still in the house.
Your Christmas seasons will never quite be the same again, but mostly in good ways.
I’m cognizant that there may be fewer years ahead of us than behind us with him still in the house.
I’m feeling that more and more. I love that my guys are getting more independent, and we’re having deeper conversations. But I know our time is limited. It’s bittersweet.
He’s definitely a lot better now. He had vomited over 30 times Friday night so we got him to the emergency vet. Hardest part now is trying to get him to take his meds lol
Yikes, that must have been scary! My cat started refusing her treats about a month ago, which is how I had been giving her her meds for the past year, I can really relate to that struggle get them to take their meds. If only they’d understand that it’ll make them feel better!
Mother-in-law ended up getting COVID last week, so her birthday plans on Christmas Eve were cancelled, plus they couldn’t come to see the kids today. Our hot water heater seems to have a failed thermocouple, so we have no (instant) hot water at the moment.
Not ruined, but pretty fucking annoying. In laws came for a few weeks to visit for the holidays. We don’t see them as much as we’d like, and its nice. But MIL wants to include her sister too - the deadbeat aunt-in-law boomer who still can’t get her shit together for over 70 years. Whatever - we tolerate it.
Except she fucking shows up sicker than a dog and is hacking non stop. You know the kind of coughs where you can hear gallons of snot being coughed up - ya that. Wtf - I give it one week and we’ll all be miserable with that exact cold/flu/covid whatever the fuck it is. Fucking loser boomer bitch who thinks of nothing but herself. Sigh.
My disabled brother said every horrible thing possible to my brother in law and got sent home and basically kicked out for life. I knew better than to go to Ohio. Nothing good happens there. I had a pleasant violence free dinner and did not have to relive my childhood trauma this year. My uncle didn't even drop a n-bomb at dinner this year.
SO & myself tested positive for COVID. Kids did not. Kids went to family Christmas, while we are quarantined in our bedroom for 5 days. Pretty shitty overall.
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