I killed myself. Or rather, I tried to kill myself. I mean, I did kill myself, but then I was still alive, in a new universe. My memories from the previous universe survived when I woke up here.
It made me realize that I literally cannot escape. Even through death.
That has given me a sort of “burned my ships” commitment to life that has made me truly alive. I also realized that all other humans are also trapped in a quantum immortality situation that will last for eternity as far as I can tell, so my level of caring and compassion for others has also increased.
I know it sounds totally fucked, but by realizing that I literally cannot die, it made me realize how important every moment is. Because every choice is a seed of eternity. The value of doing things right just went infinite for me, and I’ve never been happier, more productive, more generous, more committed to doing things right.
A series of experiences that I will not relate as I have zero evidence for has convinced me with visceral certainty that we are all immortal.
The thing I fear is the fact that death does exist, but only objectively. This means that for each of us who is going to live forever, that doesn’t mean everyone around us will.
I mean, it doesn’t mean they’re guaranteed to. Hopefully whatever narrative the universe produces that leads to the indefinite extension of our consciousness, will involve things that also make others around us able to extend their lives alongside us.
So we don’t have to be alone, for eternity.
Eventually, each of us will be alone. It’s just statistics. Infinite time, and eventually the improbable will happen. The narrative will continue to evolve into eventually being a narrative which produces the survival of one person, or one conscious entity of whatever kind it needs to be to survive for billions of years.
My guess is at that point, the narrative will have evolved into that entity being a god. Then that god will create a multitude of new people and try its best to let them be free.
Just thinking out loud here. This is all new to me.
So basically in order to not be alone, the eternally-surviving consciousness spawns new separate consciousnesses. And the cycle repeats. Crazy.
Well, I can’t kill myself until my cat dies because he doesn’t like other people and I don’t want him to have a sad life. Some people would consider that a good thing.
I love this question, super interesting to think about. I feel very lucky that it’s hard for me to pick one, between meeting my fiancée (she makes my life better in every way), getting on adhd meds (a lot more things about life make sense now), or getting my job (since it’s made me grow into a completely different, more capable person). Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the negative thoughts, so thank you.
If you don’t mind sharing, what about moving out has helped you? I’m sure there’s as many different ways as there are people who would answer similarly, increased independence, escaping the power imbalance, having to grow as an adult, and so on
I stayed at a community college instead of going to the shit 4 year universities that accepted me. Saved me time and gave me more opportunities to grow and meet new friends
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