Default_Defect,
@Default_Defect@midwest.social avatar

Difference is that it would be pornography, as nature intended, rather than aimed at all ages while middle aged soccer moms masturbate with cucumbers in the mall theater.

finickydesert,
@finickydesert@lemmy.ml avatar

Oddly specific, what have you seen?

Default_Defect,
@Default_Defect@midwest.social avatar

Horrible things.

HawlSera,

I…

I see myself in this meme and I…

Fuck me…

marrenia,
@marrenia@astraea.pink avatar

Obligatory oatmeal:

theoatmeal.com/story/twilight

Squirrel,
@Squirrel@thelemmy.club avatar

Well when you put it like that…

Primarily0617,

I read that whole thing waiting for the assuredly sweet action sequence they were hyping up all the way through the book until the end. All that talking about how the vampires use their powers to fight, like how Edythe can read her opponent's mind and react accordingly, or how Archie can predict fragments of the future and use those to his advantage, or about Jessamine's mysterious military training. Then the entire action sequence happens off screen and Beau just wakes up after it's all resolved.

Also, can we talk about how continuously Eleanor gets shat on in the book? She's introduced as the strongest Cullen, only for each subsequent Cullen family member's introduction to explain why Eleanor actually sucks and is useless. She doesn't even get to be the tallest vampire, despite how much hay is made about her intimidating stature. Look Steph: just include some plot point that involves her hucking a truck at someone at some point during the book and we're good.

But honestly having read it yes I now fully understand why Twilight was as popular as it was (is a popular as it is?).

gullible,

The werewolf I understand entirely. They’re both awkward, horny kids trying to find their place. The century old vampire creeping on a teenager is where it gets weird.

Primarily0617,

The werewolf "imprints" on Bella's unborn vampire baby later in the series, so fortunately the scales of creepiness end up balanced between Team Edward and Team Jacob.

HawlSera,

He literally falls in love with a god damn fetus

SheDiceToday,

Hmmm, still wouldn’t do it for the majority of the male population. You’ll need to make the fighting occur because neither of them wants to be saddled with the pathetic excuse for a craven coward that the ‘prophetic hero’ turned out to be, and they’re being told they have to make the prophecy happen so the world could be saved. Then, over the course of the story, it turns out the werewolf girl has magical properties in her blood that allow the vampire chick to power up and defeat the BBEG. The twist? The powers in the blood only activate when she experiences the bond of human love from the pathetic hero they’re now dragging towards destiny, so the two women folk monsters must team up to win the heart of said pathetic hero despite his raging craven fear of them. Obviously there will be a sensual scene of the vampire sucking blood from the werewolf.

Boom. I just wrote the next hollywood flick. Good thing the strike is over.

icepuncher69,

Disney would unironically hire you as a writer since they are 100% into the same type of bottom fetish shit that you are into.

Wutchilli,

Honestly i dont get it, please explain

Primarily0617,

In 2015, Stephanie Meyer—the author of Twilight—wrote Life and Death: Twilight Reimagined, which is pretty much the same book and the same plot line save for every character* being gender-swapped. For example, Edward Cullen becomes Edythe Cullen, and Bella Swan becomes Beaufort Swan.

Given how openly and incessantly horny people are about 7ft-tall-uwu-step-on-me-please dommy mommy gfs at the moment, there's clearly a not insignificant segment of the male population for which Life and Death could be enjoyed in much the same way Twilight was by that segment's female mirror back in 2005.

  • The protagonist's parents are the only exception to this, which according to Meyer is due to how rare male parent custody is after a divorce in the US, especially when the book is set.
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