I don’t think even that would faze the real Elminster much. He’s as close to a god that a mortal can get in the Forbidden Realms I think, the champion of the living embodiment of magic itself. I mean, he didn’t even consider an Elder Brain to be worth his undivided attention.
There actually was a guy who wore a buttplug with a metal core in an MRT. The plug shot through his body like a high velocity bullet and was stopped by his sternum. He survived with severe internal injuries and sued the company selling the plug.
You’re in luck, Chris Miller and Phil Lord (LEGO movie) are working on an adaptation with Ryan Gosling set to star. Drew Goddard (The Martian) wrote the screenplay together with Andy Weir himself.
The ages of Alec Guinness and Ewan McGregor pretty much track actually. It’s just that a 63 year old looked a lot older in the 70s. Tom Cruise is 61 now, Keanu Reeves is 59. Ewan McGregor is 52 now and the events of Obi-Wan are about ten years before EP. 4.
Ear cockroaches are actually worse since they are not very good at moving backwards. So once they’re in they don’t have any chance but to burrow ever deeper.