I know you have my life mapped out, because as someone who desperately wants kids, it’s impossible not to do that. But don’t assume a kid is going to follow that plan. Some kids are gay. You both handled that news really, really well, but for real, why did you have to assume I was straight to begin with? I wish I could have told you when I was 14, but I had to deal with not being the thing you thought I was. As a result, I’m 32 and still don’t have kids, because I got a really late start on the whole dating someone thing, and I’ve still never brought anyone home. It’s not your fault, but next go round, try not to box your kids the way you were boxed in.
Also, Mama. Leave his ass. Do not marry him. It doesn’t matter how upset Grandmama will be, she’ll get over it. Just tell her you love her, and go raise that baby alone.
I plan on convincing my mom to leave my dad. Sadly, 6 isn’t young enough to prevent him from ruining her life, though. But at least she’ll get out earlier, and also I can hopefully prevent her from having a surgery that completely changed her life for the worse.
I’ve been considering it more and more. There’s a gym nearish with a pool, and I’m a very strong swimmer, and it’s one of the few exercises that isn’t physically painful because of my bad back and feet. But for real, I know no one is actually making fun of me or other heavy people in that environment. It’s more my own brain narrating the worst possible opinions and applying them to everyone I meet. Which, funnily enough, is me doing to everyone else what I fear they are doing to me: being unkind.
That’s precisely why I’m not there. I’m too fat for the gym. There are women and Children present. I’d scar them for life.
ETA:
To clarify: This is not what happens, this is my own self conscious, self loathing behavior giving me excuses for not bettering myself. I am aware of my mental health problems, I’m just not dealing with them.