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Fuck_u_spez_, to memes in AAAAAHHH! *Listens carefully*

Ackshually, with only a few exceptions – and contrary to popular belief-- bats aren’t blind and most see quite well with their eyes. Like and subscribe for more bat facts.

Fuck_u_spez_, to lemmyshitpost in Future You

Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can’t free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you’ve broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.

Fuck_u_spez_, to selfhosted in Does anyone else harvest the magnets and platters from old drives as a monument to selfhosting history?

Thought it was just me. Used to have at least twice this many in my old office:

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/724fa188-5da2-4f8f-81de-557011dbe492.jpeg

Fuck_u_spez_, to memes in This is no encouragement to waste energy

I’m disappointed that there’s not a single comment about dissociating or masturbating.

Fuck_u_spez_, to memes in When your sleep cycle is broken

Groening*

Fuck_u_spez_, to memes in I love concerts. I do not love standing room only.

A lot of us don’t take great care of our bodies, unfortunately.

Fuck_u_spez_, to memes in What's up, my fellow trees?

Or, consider that the ugly ones may be the only ones you’ve actually noticed. The rest would then be working as intended.

Fuck_u_spez_, to memes in soak and jump hump

The ol’ poophole loophole.

Fuck_u_spez_, to memes in AAAAAHHH! *Listens carefully*

Ackshually… that’s probably true, but can the average country singer echolocate with or without their eyes closed? I think not. Checkmate, atheists.

Fuck_u_spez_, to historyporn in Patient in bed being 'fed' his daily cigarette ration, 1938

Now I realize it’s probably just a handle to help the dude sit up in bed but for a minute I thought smoker bro was about to get a baguette thrown at his head.

Fuck_u_spez_, to science_memes in bro pls

Not even allegedly. I could be wrong but I thought he admitted publicly at one point that was the whole idea behind The Boring Co. It might have even been on Rogan. Anyone remember or have a clip? Jamie, pull that up.

Fuck_u_spez_, to selfhosted in Does anyone else harvest the magnets and platters from old drives as a monument to selfhosting history?

That’s a good idea. Yeah, the trick I discovered in getting them off the mounting bracket without the chrome plating peeling is to grab each end of the bracket with vice grips and/or pliers (after you unscrew it from the drive) and just bend it down and away from the magnet. They usually come off in one piece that way, too.

Fuck_u_spez_, to memes in I've been robbed!

What speed test are you running that gives its results in bytes?

Fuck_u_spez_, (edited ) to piracy in For those who pirate songs, how do you discover new music?

This is why Spotify is the only streaming service I have. Is there a server with >1TB of lossless audio in my basement? Sure, allegedly. Do I want to organize it and build playlists in Plexamp until my fingers bleed? Fuck no, I’d much rather pay $5/mo for a student subscription and tap a few buttons on my phone. Even though as a musician myself it’s nice to know the artists are getting a little kickback, it’s not so much that I’m paying for the music as I am paying for the software.

Fuck_u_spez_, to memes in How do y'all say GIF?

I agree with you but I have a simpler argument, which is the mere fact that this exists: fileinfo.com/extension/jif

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