Just stopping in to say this is a really well thought out response and you’ve more or less nailed all the salient points. We greatly appreciate thoughtful feedback like this, thank you for being a part of our community 💜
Cross-posting this from /c/socialism because I think it’s a quality analysis.
This is also a reminder that you’re on Beehaw and our one rule is to bee nice. We’ve seen a lot of comment threads on this conflict turn into cursing matches, lets not do that again please 💜
I think there’s something to be said about timeframe even for individuals who held deplorable views. Purchasing art from a dead artist doesn’t go to supporting their life or spreading their shitty viewpoint - instead it will go to a company which holds the rights or an estate which benefits the family. Unless we happen to know the company/estate is deplorable in some way or another, we shouldn’t judge them based on the connection with the original artist - after all we don’t get to choose our parents and may not hold the same views they do.
About to board a plane so I can arrive at a boat for the first cruise I’ve ever been on. It’s called groove cruise and it’s 24/7 DJs and music/dancing. Hard to separate anxiety from excitement. It’ll be fun but I probably won’t sleep much!
We simply need a lot more moderation tools than the current set of lemmy devs are willing to create, and many of them see some of the requests as frivolous or not in line with their personal beliefs on how the website mechanics should work. There’s also a metric ton of bugs, potential legal issues with how the platform deals with federation and malicious and abhorrent material, and the issue of the code of choice this website runs on not being a particularly popular or easy to pick up coding language meaning less access to talent to fix or work on new things. We’ve been talking about potentially moving platforms for some time now and with time there are just more discoveries of new issues.
I am back home from groove cruise and had my first full night of sleep in over a week. It was honestly one of the best experiences in my life. I have a lot of thoughts on how to improve my next go at it (sleeping arrangements are top of this list), but like my first EDC it’s extremely clear to me that I want to do this most likely every year for as long as they are still doing this.
With all that being said, my shoulder is wrecked (and I need to spend a few hours on the line with insurance and billing to clear a multi month issue with coverage on getting the damn implant placed again), I still don’t quite have my land legs back, I’ve been feeling like I’m maybe getting sick for the last two days, I’m nauseous looking at my phone and typing this up right now, and my body is exhausted (averaged 60k steps and about 2.5k activity calories per day on the cruise). But amidst all that I have to say that my mood is excellent, I’m feeling a huge amount of gratitude to have had that experience and I’m feeling very loved and positive about the communities and people I’ve chosen in my life.
This is week 2 of being back at work and it’s nice to have some things I’m working on but also nice to not really have a lot on my plate and not expect a lot to be dropped on my plate anytime soon as everyone’s just starting to emerge from their winter vacations.
I had a nice date the other night with another very non-binary person and there’s something really special and nice about dating people who have so thoroughly rejected the gender binary. It’s a special kind of trans in my heart, and I always find people like this so darn fascinating in terms of how they want the world to perceive them. Seems to have gone well, but they also seem to be very anti dating?? so I guess I’m lucky I made the cut? I have no idea where this is going, but they live nearby which is a plus
As an aside I’m so tired of dating apps and dating in general. People either have impossibly high standards or something about me just doesn’t vibe with most people and like, I get it, but why does it have to be so exhausting? I just want to curl up in someone’s lap and have them run their fingers thru my hair 😩
As much as that writing style is rather unique and interesting, it is dreadfully difficult to follow. There’s a verbosity to it that would make me think the person who wrote it sat in front of a thesaurus looking for the exact word to replace what they originally wrote about fifteen times per sentence if I didn’t already know eccentric people like this who exist in real life and pride themselves in their ability to use the absolute ‘best’ word to represent their thoughts at any one moment, ignoring the fact that many people will not be able to follow for lack of ever hearing, let alone understanding what the word means. With that being said, I did very much enjoy the imagery the writer was able to conjure on the subject of enshittification and the general state of affairs of the average tech bro.
I’ve been using a bunch for years. Honestly the vanities don’t bother me the slightest. What bothers me is the way people treat them. First and foremost, the majority of people on these apps aren’t even looking to date! They’re looking to quell their anxiety about whether they are date-able, whether they can find a match in case their current partner dumps them, are curious and want a way to people watch, or just interested in the dopamine they get from swiping profiles. They can’t find a healthy way to use them, so they use it for a little then delete the app because they find themselves addicted then reinstall months later when they find the urge. Or they mute all notifications and rarely open it, then feel bad when someone messaged them a week or two ago and decide it’s better to just not respond. Or they just make a snap judgement over just a few words and refuse to give the other person any time of their day to respond and just ghost. Or they chat for awhile then forget they were chatting because they have no notifications, disappear for a month, then feel anxious about that and rather than apologize just pretend it didn’t happen and delete the chat or match.
It’s just exhausting. I just want to meet people and see who I vibe with and I don’t understand why so many people don’t treat dating apps the same way.
I actually don’t think Beehaw is great at this currently, with the strong caveat that I also believe it is much, much better and more earnest in its endeavor to do so than any other alternative I’m aware of. But I fear further seclusion would be a move in the wrong direction.
I’m curious in what ways you think we could improve? Would you care to expand upon this?
Thanks for elaborating. It’s tough to decide where is ‘too far’ and when someone is behaving in a way that if left unchecked results in a slow decline into a space where nice people no longer want to participate. We tend to err on the side of caution because we’ve seen how evaporative cooling can ruin a nice place, but with strong checks/balances to try and reduce/minimize inappropriately stepping in, as well as inappropriate deletions and bans. We’re human though, we make mistakes, and ultimately it’s important to us that we create a space we haven’t been able to find elsewhere and sometimes there just aren’t enough people with enough emotional bandwidth to do the messy work of differentiating between someone who’s just stubborn and misinformed, and someone who’s being malicious (let alone issues that crop up with neurodivergence and not understanding what nice behavior is).
I truly do wish we had enough bandwidth to provide more cordiality and grace to everyone. Speaking of which, if you or anyone else who does have emotional bandwidth, extra time, and passion for seeing places like this exist on the internet and wishes to step in and help us stick to our principles, we’d love the help 💜