Thank you, I have my states ACA insurance which is the only way I’ve seen a doctor (hadn’t seen one in about 15 years before last month). I had never heard about that phone number, I might give it a call later, thank you so much.
It’s funny how when you’re doing okay a message like that doesn’t feel like much from a stranger, but his a lot deeper when you’re feeling at the end of your rope, I appreciate your kindness and compassion. It’s just gotten worse and worse every year, I had stability at one time and I was an equal contributer, but I just feel like complete shit about myself constantly and nothing seems to go right. My vehicle which I’m still paying a loan on has been in a mechanics shop for 3 months, the car that I had been borrowing developed a major oil leak and can’t be driven so I am stuck getting rides across town with no decent bussing options (which I’ve admittedly never taken a public bus out of anxiety), my credit cards which I got initially to help my fiance with things have gone unpaid for about 6 months with daily calls from collectors, and whatever else I can’t bring to mind right now, but it’s all just a decline no matter how hard I try or how decent of a person I try to be to everyone I interact with in my life. And on top of that most of my friends haven’t talked to me in years and the one good friend I do talk to every few months or so has her own life and issues to deal with, I have no family anywhere near me and have a bad relationship with my father, my mother is wonderful but I feel even worse dumping my troubles on her because she has no way to help me from across the country and with her extremely limited resources and I know it makes her feel like she failed as a parent because she couldn’t provide me with the things she thinks she should have (I don’t blame her a bit, she really is a wonderful person), which means the only person who I can talk to about anything going wrong in my life is the love of my life who is being embittered towards me by every compounding issue. I recently got back on ADHD meds after being off them for a decade or more and it’s only seemed to serve to make me have energy and no appetite, but not help me that much, I want to try antidepressants for the first time in my life, but the doctors don’t make it easy, it was a struggle just to get on the ADHD meds even though I had taken Adderall for 5+ years in the past. It’s just overwhelming and never ever seems to let up. I can’t play video games any more, television just seems to fade into the background as I’m consumed by horrible thoughts constantly.
Honestly my entire life is a wreck, my fiance is probably going to leave me because I absolutely can’t seem to find a real job and I’m my debt has ballooned like 3x it’s size in 6 months because even though I’m a manager who does literally everything you could do working retail, I get paid $10.50 an hour. I quite literally can’t afford to eat and am going hungry most days for the last month. Yet the only thing my mind can seem to focus on is saving my relationship but I just feel it drifting every day I can’t secure a real job. I’ve applied to literally hundreds of jobs over the past 6 months, gone to many interviews, called called called and called some more, and yet nothing, no one wants to give me a chance even though I have a decent resume, I’m polite, I’m very good with computers and have no criminal or any kind of bad history. Definitely thinking about ending it a lot lately. Sorry to dump on you, just feel like I need to write this out somewhere instead of just festering in my head.
Currently at work at the worst company you could ever work for, Big Lots. We’ve even got extended hours today, but hardly anyone here shopping. ANY corporation that has shareholders has no choice but to become increasingly evil and vile to their employees.
Lol, okay. Calm down buddy. What I do doesn’t affect you. The torrent description let’s me know all that too, I just hate having those file names in my library, looks messy and it’s less easy for my eyes to browse quickly.
My concerns with AI are like doctors cheating their way through school with chatGPT and deepfakes leading nations into war, other people’s concerns with AI are that rich artists won’t get credit for derivative works. It’s all a fucking joke to me and I’m going to keep enjoying my time with Stable Diffusion.
What services do they even provide these days that you can’t get better elsewhere? Worst browser these days, the search has gone completely to shit and all their web apps are dated and stale compared to alternatives.