LegionEris

LegionEris, 10 months ago

People already suck at handling a single relationship so statistically handling more is just significantly more difficult

I guess that’s a fair point. My wife and I were the stable thing in each other’s lives for years before this started. We have a love that can’t be stopped and have navigated more together than most couples ever will. Neither of us would have considered a second partner if we thought it could have weakened our foundational relationship. That is what has freed us to have these experiences.

LegionEris, 10 months ago

We opened up an existing relationship, but it was more my idea for her to have a boyfriend. I knew she romanticized affairs and infidelity. I knew that her experience of being with a man romantically and physically is meaningfully different from how we are together. And I’ve just never been that sort of possessive, so I encouraged her to seek out something I couldn’t give her

LegionEris, 10 months ago

It didn’t involve the assistant manager of a cheap motel, did it? I guess if you were the person I know who had that experience, you’d probably recognize my name and story.

LegionEris, 10 months ago

DO NOT ADD ANOTHER PERSON BECAUSE OF YOUR FAILING RELATIONSHIP

It’s insane to me that this apparently must be said by multiple people with massive emphasis. We only considered this because our relationship was and still is so strong. We just met really young and have a lot of love to give. I don’t want to lose my wife or have had only one great romance in my life. She didn’t want marrying a woman to mean she would never experience men again. So we share the incredible bounty of love in which we live.

LegionEris, 10 months ago

I should really think more about compersion. It’s an idea that I think and talk about frequently, but it’s a term my brain hasn’t yet held for the long term. But I have huge amounts of compersion. I get so excited when good things happen to the people I care about. Our polyamory thrives on how happy it makes me to see my wife in that happy, lovey way with someone. I am just as delighted that my best friend was recently promoted to AM as I am that I was promoted to key lead with her. Compersion is a big part of my life that I should give more space and respect to express itself.

LegionEris, 10 months ago

Omg yes. This is the primary discussion of polyamory, and it drives me crazy. None of that common description looks like my life.

LegionEris, 10 months ago

I actually consider myself a selfish person. But I experience huge amounts of compersion. It makes me so happy when good things happen to the people I care about. It’s selfish of me to want more than one partner and to revel in my wife’s other relationship. But I’ll be damned if senseless or traditional moralizing is going to stop me from being or making people happy.

LegionEris, 10 months ago

I upvoted you. I asked for experiences. I was hoping for success stories, but I came into this understanding that most people don’t have them. If literally nobody on Lemmy but me had a good polyamory story, that would be valid and wouldn’t discourage me.

LegionEris, 10 months ago

With those two words polyamory, a practice as old as humanity and in every corner of the world, has been… FINALLY DEBUNKED! I can’t believe I was here for the destruction of a lifestyle!

LegionEris, 10 months ago

Wife isn’t really looking because she is graysexual and doesn’t really want any additional deep emotional connections

This kinda describes my wife’s boyfriend’s wife. (That was just fun to type out) Basically, because of the place and way she was raised, she didn’t understand that she was ace until she had two kids, and her sex life continued to exist. She was/is more or less done with that part of her life. She has two kids and a husband and a home, and that’s why she was having sex to begin with. As long as she has those things, she doesn’t care that her husband does things she does not enjoy with some other women. She’s happy with the way her life is. Plz don’t make her add sex back into the equation.