Wasn’t IE8 preinstalled on Windows 7? Wasn’t IE9 the only version of IE that wasn’t preinstalled on anything? I’m pretty sure someone (if not you) already downloaded IE9, in that case, I absolutely don’t know how to downgrade versions of IE.
Windows: nope, too old. Find a version that’s compatible with your current installation.
Trust me, I tried playing some old CD games from my dad’s shed on Windows 10 for such a long time, it wouldn’t even let me do that without having to rely on a virtual machine. Most of those games were in French and German, btw.
It was meant to be some kaomoji version of two eyes closed with a frown (I have little knowledge about kaomoji), but I actually like your description way more.