I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them....
And not me directly, but some years ago when my friend and I were both desperately seeking work, and running up against the “you need experience to get a job to gain experience” conundrum. His mentor told him to stop being so precious, and get a boring corporate job with a pension, maybe one that would pay his law school tuition. It wasn’t a thing yet, but wow, it would have been the perfect time to reply, “OK, Boomer.”
It’s not wrong, but spectacularly unhelpful. I mean, a brain surgeon has to be confident to go cutting into somebody’s head, but clearly that’s not enough, right? Confidence as a romantically-attractive quality is a very particular (and peculiar) performance. Going to a party 110% certain of one’s own value, sitting in a corner with a confident set of one’s jaw, and silently waiting for the ladies to form a queue is…
…sufficient, apparently, because you just to be confident.
What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?
I’ll go first: “You have to have children when you’re young,” told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them....