In December 2022 I realized I skipped seeing my cardiologist for 6 years. Did a 24 hour monitor. Apparently my heart rate was dropping to 21 bpm and stopping pumping for up to three seconds. So in February 2023 they cut me open and give me a pacemaker. Months go on and I am still getting winded. So they did another heart Cath procedure (on the 28th) and it turns out my heart is doing worse than thought even, so in the next 3-5 years I'll need a heart transplant. But the make up of my organ layout means I'll need a specialist, which just all sounds so slim. I am 33 and so fucking tired.
I hope to leave some of this stress behind. I know there's a lot I can't escape now, but I hope I can leave some of the anger and fear behind. It's been hard to be a good dad or partner this year just from feeling so stressed, and if I don't know how long we will have I just want my daughter to remember a happier dad.
Edit: Just checked cuz I was curious, and that is only 300 lb more than the Tesla model 3. Your comment felt rude and unnecessarily aggressive. I hope you're having a good night.
Man, I tried finding one of those cool websites where you can put like two cars together to compare their size. But it doesn't have the year of my ranger. But yeah, they're smaller than the new trucks by a lot. And they weigh about half as much. If you can get one of the older Toyota's or like a cool little Datsun, they're a little bit smaller, but really kind of in the mid 2000s was when trucks really started blowing up in size and absurdity.
I really like my 2003 Ford ranger. It's small, but can still haul enough that it works perfectly fine for when I'm picking up dirt for my garden. But also it's definitely not fuel efficient in the way that I'd want it to be. I wish they made something that size but newer.
My biggest issue with ebooks in the library, and what led me into more ebook Piracy. Having to wait to check out a digital book. I know the library has to pay like yearly licensing subscriptions to a lot of these books, and it's just so annoying to me that it doesn't cover everybody having access to it. I sit on the library board and one thing we're talking about doing is a graphic novel service for a lot of the youth. And low key, I'm stoked for the graphic novel service too. But that one's unlimited access.