I agree that the way we socially condition and, more importantly, hold men accountable are the real issues, which only reinforces my point. If the problem is men rather than age gaps, why disparage age gaps and not male behaviors instead? It’s like trying to focus on getting the blood stain out of a carpet while somebody has an open wound on their arm and continues bleeding out; it’s focusing on the wrong part of what’s wrong in the scenario.
I guess all I can say to that is that while I try best to communicate my meaning clearly, I am a fallible human who will sometimes fall short of perfect wording. Thank you for reading my words with an open mind and inquiring for more information where necessary rather than jumping to conclusions, I guess.
To be honest I thought we were sort of discussing in generalities rather than intending any of it to read as directed at you personally. I apologize, I wasn’t attempting to accuse you specifically of anything. I meant we, as a society, project these ideas, and to go further I’ll admit it’s sloppy word choice as what I mean is I guess more closely “presume to have” rather than “project.” Again, I did not mean any specific insult or accusation to be directed at you and apologize for presenting my point in a way that could be read as such.
Poise and sophistication is something that often comes with age regardless of gender.
Relative poise and sophistication. Nobody exists in a vacuum, and while yes I do agree that people generally progress and refine themselves as they age, there are hundreds of other factors that I would argue are vastly more relevant than age. It’s not hard to find a 20 year old from a nurturing environment or conversely a 20 year old who survived difficult and grounding circumstances either of which may display vastly more sophistication and poise than a spoiled 60 year old raised in comfort and wealth who never had to challenge any of their expectations.
While some trend might exist between the two things, a) I think it’s wildly overblown, b) it’s nowhere near absolute enough to establish rules based upon it, and c) regardless it’s an aside from what you claim to be after anyway. If you want a partner with sophistication and poise, then seek one with those qualities, don’t just project them onto him/her/them because you assume they should have them based on age. If you’ve got a craving for apple you shouldn’t pick up a pomegranate just because you know the food you like is colored red.
Because just because you’re old enough to make your own choices, it doesn’t mean your choices are good.
And does this suddenly stop being true at 30? At 50? Fallibility is a human condition that extends well into adulthood.
And from the other side, just because it’s legal doesn’t mean it’s right.
At no point have I been discussing the legality of anything. Legality is a separate conversation from morality, I agree.
Lots of older guys who date much younger women are very predatory and manipulative.
Yes, which I acknowledged, and even implicitly expressed the value in being aware of this fact. That cars have potential to result in fatal accidents is not good reason to fully discourage the use of automobiles, and the same logic applies here.
It sounds to me like that’s an issue of predatory lending and business practices; why don’t we attempt addressing those issues rather than arbitrarily deeming people too underdeveloped to understand such things for literally a third of their estimated life-span
If you thought I was defending conservatives, you’re wrong. There’s nuance to this; the topic is sexual dynamics but the purpose is dominance. This is a conservative kind of principle because it’s about limiting autonomy of consenting adults, enforcing social morals, and boogyman logic. We should be embracing and striving for a better, freer, more autonomous world, where everyone, women included, are empowered rather than limited, not just settling for a slightly preferable version of the patriarchy.
Which means embracing a nuanced world. Which is why I said acknowledge and even warn against the potential dangers of severe age-gap relationships; we don’t have to be blind to real world dangers, but that we shouldn’t let fear of those dangers drive us into blind ignorance again or else we’re just repeating the same cycle. Hence the trojan horse. We get better when we accept difficult concepts rather than accept simplified extractions for the masses.
edit: just in case my position is somehow still unclear, yes I’m using conservative as effectively synonymous with “bad” here. I’ll consider caring when they consider better conduct and positions.
Subtext. This meme isn’t about the image, it’s about the culture upon which it is commenting. And a large reaction to that culture is beyond discouraging of age-gap relationships, it’s prohibitive of them. This reaction wants to redefine adulthood as post 25, label anyone above 25 who shows interest in those under as automatically and inherently predatory (as opposed to potentially predatory), and in doing so severely infantilizes anyone under 25 as “incomplete” adults, as if adulthood is some kind of clear journey with a specific and obvious destination, who they deem incapable of evaluating risks and circumstances and making autonomous choices.