gibmiser

@gibmiser@lemmy.world

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gibmiser,

But dad, that doesnt make sense, Sally is younger than me!

No son, it’s true…

gibmiser,

Then you got me over here, tires smooth as a baby’s ass, sprinkling Rogaine on my tires and hoping for the best

gibmiser,

Additionally, my understanding is that a lot of the cleaning done by washing your hands is mechanical, and using a paper towel with a slightly rough and absorbent surface scrapes off all the stuff that has been loosened by washing with soap and water.

gibmiser,

They don’t want you to know it works, but I’ve been microdosing lava for years now. Now everything tastes the same and I can fly.

gibmiser,

Wish I could help you man. But nothing worked for me in the 10 years before I got the CPAP.

Sleeping on your side is better than sleeping on your back or stomach. Alcohol and sleep medicines won’t help.

gibmiser,

Do a sleep study. If you have apnea try the CPAP.

gibmiser, (edited )

Never Have I Ever: Civic Duty edition

Never have, I ever littered.

Never have I ever voted for someone without researching them

Never have I ever stayed home and not voted. Because I just didn’t feel like it.

Never have I ever Shopped at a store that I knew was using unethical business practices because it was cheaper.

gibmiser,

Never played it, not surprised tho.

gibmiser,

Never played it, not surprised tho.

gibmiser, (edited )

Ever since the tree bloomed in the year 0, now known as the awakening, fear of death has lost its power. The world has changed, ever since the tree started bearing its fruit - strange pods containing the repaired and revitalized bodies of the recently deceased.

While the pain of death remains, the permanence is gone. Adventurers and thrill seekers run amok with diminished consequences. Further, aging and illness is now merely an inconvenience, with reanimation the solution.

33 years have passed. Fear of death has become an old world superstition among the remaining “firsters”; the slur used by the reanimated to mock those who still cling fearfully to their first lives.

Scattered groups of people have been researching the tree and the reborn citizens since year 0 with growing discomfort. Without death, the population is booming and expanding rapidly. Gradually the population of “firsters” is dwindling. You belong to one such group of firsters. Is your fear justified? Or are you a part of a dying age, afraid to let go of the old ways…

*religion formed around the tree *massive palace at its base and deep into its roots serves as religious headquarters and barracks for defenders of the tree. *coming of age death ritual for children who have not died by age 16 *DM needs to make sure at least 1 party member is reborn during their quest

gibmiser,

Aaaand I thanked him for the opportunity!

gibmiser,

Film students everywhere just got tingles on the back of their neck. Just need a catchy title and name for the bad guy…

This summer… Dinner comes served with an extra topping… murder.

gibmiser,

Steamboat Willy in “Steamboat Willy Recites Racist Quotes from Walt Disney”

gibmiser,

Grab the middle and pull it through the center

gibmiser,

When you want to spice up your sex life by having sex in new places

How wealthy are those elderly people who hire someone to be with them at all times, instead of moving into a nursing home?

I guess I don’t care how wealthy they are, my question is how much would it cost to hire someone to be your caretaker 24/7 and go with you everywhere you want to go like the grocery store etc

gibmiser,

Do you feel better now? Did that help?

gibmiser, (edited )

Manual/deliberate sperm/egg production.

Manual/deliberate control over fat creation and storage.

gibmiser,

Slowly burning to death and asphyxiation is not bad enough, they want you to breathe in septic gas, choke and vomit first.

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