Somebody once said it to me like this: “If you faceplant into a pile of shit, would you rather wipe your face with a dry paper, or use water for cleaning”
As a former polyamoric person, here’s how I (still) think of it: You can’t control your feelings (they are merely physical reactions to situations) but you can control how you deal with them. Or how you act on them.
So in a sense, in my opinion, you’re both correct.
I’m a lot like you in a way, and I agree with what you said, but I just wanted to note that you are NOT invulnerable to marketing or ads. Advertisement (brainwashing) techniques have been researched for centuries, and with massive resources. I think even the very thing where some people think they can’t be affected by marketing, is a marketing technique itself. Probably.