The hell I did. One’s an explanation, one is literally “thanks,” one is the only sentence and pointing to the initial not-remotely-hidden explanation, and one is that explanation made even more explicit.
What the fuck else was I supposed to say? Do I have resting bitch font - are people just automatically reading things in the shittiest possible tone of voice? Read it conversationally and there’s none of that alleged tone.
This and so many other conversations go ‘Why are you mad?!’ ‘I’m not and I don’t know how to convince you of that.’ ‘Ah-HA!’ There’s no winning. Once someone’s assumed you’re fucking with them, somehow, the words don’t matter.
Yeah I don’t think that’s the issue, when the person who showed up to tell me and play along took the first one completely literally and the second one as sneering sarcasm. Where the goddamn mod chimes in is after a bone-dry run-down of how both were misunderstandings. Their scolding simultaneously blames me for expecting people to be psychic and also for talking down to them. How the fuck is anyone supposed to deal with that self-contradictory blend of bad-faith readings?
How could I be any more direct and polite with someone that confused about what I said? I’m not sneering at their idiocy and making remarks about their parentage. I walk them through a rhetorical device they demonstrably did not understand, and apparently that was the wrong thing.
What the fuck was the right thing?
What sequence of words do you want, instead? At this point I’m not convinced there is a right answer.
I am abundantly agreeing with that confused dingus. They’re making the comparison I was making, in the first place. They just keep going ‘then what did you mean?!’ as I repeatedly clarify what was never a mystery.
This is a trolling tactic. I don’t think they did it on purpose, but the effect is the same. It creates no-win situations, where all responses can be twisted in bad faith and cast as vicious mockery. Even when it’s ‘I am not yelling at you… you are yelling at me.’
Do y’all think rhetorical questions are automatically hostile? If someone answers one, and I tell them it was rhetorical, and they still demand to know why I asked - what the fuck am I supposed to say? What sequence of words is not going to be labeled condescending, sarcastic, or backhanded?
Once everything gets read as insincere, the words don’t matter. Nothing I write will be taken seriously. A dry and complete accounting, just trying to smooth things over, is labeled “semi-friendly shit” and publicly shamed. No roads lead out of that trap.
Would any apology have worked? Or would it be read as more of the same sneering tone that is 100% inferred and 0% implied?
Literally none of this was there. I’m annoyed at all of you - but not the guy I was talking to, in the first place. You are inferring something that was not there.
From a bare explanation of agreement.
Being concise didn’t help. Being verbose didn’t help. Being conversational didn’t help. Being literal didn’t help. I tried everything and all of it is still being misinterpreted as the polar fucking opposite of what I actually fucking wrote.
I don’t expend effort trying to be rude, but I rarely bend over backwards to reign in my default blunt tone. Not that gentle honesty seems to matter. I will argue the ethics and efficacy of well-meaning censorship with randos and moderators alike. Some of them are definitely Nazis in disguise. Some of them are not in disguise.
But most simply do not know what trolling is.
It’s like the Twitter generation thinks it means harassment, or vulgarity, or just being mean to people. No: trolling is fucking with people to get an emotional reaction. Sometimes that emotional reaction is extremely justified. Think of any “just a prank, bro” bullshit. That is trolling. That is violating the social contract to laugh at people for having sane responses to your inexcusable behavior. It is being an asshole, as bait, so you can pretend to be shocked, shocked!, and then play the victim while continuing to be an infuriating asshole.
Any moderator who expects polite discourse, and does not create an environment where words matter, is actively making the internet worse. You want an easy time pruning a worthwhile forum? Aim for a cocktail-party atmosphere. Screaming rants no, casual banter yes, tell people to take five if they’re starting shit. But if someone lays out why another user is completely full of shit - you had damn well better come down against being full of shit.
Over and over and over. None of you are listening.
And it’s NOT condescension, it’s building a fucking comparison! It’s a sixth-grade-reading-comprehension rhetorical device. It’s getting ahead of an obvious yeah-but someone might make… and then someone made that yeah-but anyway. And then got mad that I told them: I agree, thank you.
The fuck was I supposed to tell them? If there was no right answer - none of this criticism means anything.
My favorite part of this haranguing is how y’all don’t hesitate to declare I’m subhuman and due for getting bones broken, but I’m the rude and hostile one for saying please and thanks.
This is the rudest thing you could think to say to someone, and it’s over nothing.
I can’t demean your character worse than you’ve just done, yourself.
Same where? You had one comment and it’s just the same tutting. That’s not comparable to the variety of ways I tried de-escalating with the initial guy.
Now you want to claim you agree with me - about the widespread misreading of anything I write in the worst possible way - and you’re threatening violence over that same misreading. What the fuck is this conversation?
‘You were very rude disagreeing with that guy.’ I said I agree with them and thanked them.
‘Well you were aggressive toward people critiquing your rude disagreement.’ I told them there was no such thing, because I said I agree with them and thanked them.
‘It’s plainly these specific turns of phrase.’ I have invited half a dozen people to suggest what I was supposed to do besides agree and thank them.
‘Hey buddy, I agree with you, but I wanna kick your head in for explaining how you’re unhappy with all this condemnation.’ This topic has been the most compelling argument I’ve ever experienced, against trying to be nice to people online.
I know the question is rather awkward at first and I am possibly overlooking something, but I would like to know something I really don’t understand....
What is this? Wrong answers only. (lemmy.world)
rules for thee, but not for me (lemmy.ca)
To be clear, not talking about this community, obviously 😛....
For those who pirate songs, how do you discover new music?
I know the question is rather awkward at first and I am possibly overlooking something, but I would like to know something I really don’t understand....