feddit.nl

coaxil, to memes in Stargate be like

Indeed!

Enzy,

Isn’t that hot?

NounsAndWords, to comicstrips in ‘RANDOM FLUFF #41’ [OC]

I feel like the people who would be depressed if they were smarter are already the dumb angry people. They’re angry about all the bad things that happen to them without the exhaustion of seeing the next thing coming.

Reverendender,

Aha! I’m an angry and depressed! Checkmate!

Viking_Hippie,

🎖🏆

gibmiser, to comicstrips in ‘THE SLICER’ [OC]

Film students everywhere just got tingles on the back of their neck. Just need a catchy title and name for the bad guy…

This summer… Dinner comes served with an extra topping… murder.

CustardFist,
@CustardFist@feddit.nl avatar

… with a crusty old detective that hated cheesy humor…

Diabolo96, (edited )

A mafia/comedy mix.

The Pizzaiolo: from dough to death

He was once the most feared hitman in the mafia, known for his creative kills based on the victims’ jobs. He could make a lawyer choke on his own words, a banker drown in his money, or a doctor die of a heart attack. But he had a change of heart and left his life of crime behind. He opened a pizzeria and took care of his orphaned niece, hoping to start anew. But his past came back to haunt him one day near Christmas, when his former boss sent his goons to kidnap his niece and kill him. Now he has to use his skills and his wits to save his niece and himself, and to end his boss’s reign of terror. But all he can think of now is related to pizzas. Will he be able to slice his way out of this mess?

The reason he can’t remember much and lack creativity is because he suffers from early stages of alzheimer.

The second movie is a prequel titled :

The Pizzaiolo 2: from death to dough.

Jerb322,
@Jerb322@lemmy.world avatar

Deep Dish , weapon: pizza slicer repeating crossbow

gibmiser,

Made me think of this

youtu.be/lQOo17fHTKE?feature=shared

Jerb322,
@Jerb322@lemmy.world avatar

Nice

e_mc2, (edited ) to comicstrips in ‘HUNGOVER’ [OC]

On the plus side, you can’t barf lying on your back facing upwards with 6G.

Anticorp,

You probably can, but it’ll kill you.

NotSpez,

Waterboarded by vomit. Vomitboarded. Yikes.

palordrolap,

At least it's your own vomit.

NotSpez,

There’s always an optimist. Thanks for that ;)

Anticorp,

We shall call it the Hendrix.

TheRobotFrog, to comicstrips in ‘INNER SELF’ [OC]

Okay, I totally thought this was gonna be a masturbation joke.

CustardFist,
@CustardFist@feddit.nl avatar

Glad I was able to surprise you. :ط

Deepus,

I dont like surprises! Masturbation joke now please!

CustardFist,
@CustardFist@feddit.nl avatar

Well, with masturbation, the joke is always on you. ‘฿ر

rtxn, to memes in Stargate be like

He could save those people.

Rossaluss,

Help him!

Endorkend,
@Endorkend@kbin.social avatar

And he did.

If you look at the history of the Goa'uld coming to earth 12000 years ago and ruling most of the Galaxy for nearly as long, Jack ended all that within the confines of a single decade.

Steve,

Teal’c definitely pulled his weight

pastermil, to comicstrips in 'EINSTEIN'S BIGGEST BLUNDER' [OC]
CustardFist,
@CustardFist@feddit.nl avatar

At least Einstein got laid…… with his frickin’ cousin. Xط

Gormadt,
@Gormadt@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

banjo music intensifies

ringwraithfish,

Not just his cousin… his FIRST cousin. His mom’s niece!

graphito, to comicstrips in ‘THE PLEASER’ [OC]

Good job! It’s really funny

CustardFist,
@CustardFist@feddit.nl avatar

Thanks. ,’ر

clutchmatic,

It hit too hard for me

Ashyr, to comicstrips in EXPECTING [OC]

His name is J. Erkhoff. I see what you did there.

CustardFist,
@CustardFist@feddit.nl avatar

Well done. You’ve figured it out. ‘Bط
You deserve a peek at Joseph’s special episode. :ر

punkwalrus, to memes in My wife "sucks"
@punkwalrus@lemmy.world avatar

Ah yes! My wife uses straws, too.

Aganim,

That sounds quite uncomfortable.

miss_brainfart, to memes in First meme here
@miss_brainfart@lemmy.ml avatar

Say what you want, but a fever knocking you out and having you dream weird stuff is the best part about being sick

ultra,

I’ve never had a fever this bad

miss_brainfart,
@miss_brainfart@lemmy.ml avatar

Really? You’re missing out.

They’re not called fever dreams for nothing.

ultra,

Ok, lemme go to a hospital rq and see if there’s anyone coughing. (/j)

Kusimulkku,

I had 41C when I had pneumonia. I was delirious

Apeman42,
@Apeman42@lemmy.world avatar

Call me crazy, but the fever wank is a great wank. You feel so cleared out, and it helps you sleep and recuperate.

flashgnash,

Have to agree, felt the need to wrap up warm when I was ill once, went to sleep and it was the best sleep in my life. Woke up drenched in sweat and hot as Satan’s crack but the sleep and dreams were great

wreckedcarzz,
@wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world avatar

That’s like saying the best part of being interrogated is the waterboarding because it’s refreshing

Funkytom467,
@Funkytom467@lemmy.world avatar

Getting decapitated really got a weight off my chest!

Cysioland,
@Cysioland@lemmygrad.ml avatar

“waterboarding in Guantanamo Bay” sounds like something fun

perviouslyiner, (edited ) to comicstrips in ‘NORMALITY’ [OC]

can you like just go to one of those hospitals for a holiday?

Edit: www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1306369370/ if anyone wants to ‘improve’ one of their rooms

lolcatnip,

Yes but it’s far cheaper to take a regular vacation.

XEAL,

Suicide attempts are a good way to end up locked up a few days in the psych ward.

perviouslyiner, (edited )

deleted_by_author

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  • LemmyKnowsBest, (edited )

    Don’t even need to attempt suicide, you just tell the doctor you’re THINKING about suicide and they will lock you up for a couple weeks vacation :-)

    recommend getting your affairs in order before doing this though, otherwise you’ll start missing bill payments. pay all your bills a couple months in advance then enjoy psych ward vacation stress-free.

    Droechai, (edited )

    Take this advice with a grain of salt, the doc might not let you out after just a few days, and that weekend might be a good bit of a year if they feel the need to tune in psychofarmaka before release

    grabyourmotherskeys,

    Anyone who has ever been in a long term psych ward as a visitor or patient (where I come from anyway) would not want to go there for any reason. Half those guys don’t even know how to play cribbage.

    Droechai, (edited )

    And those who has been and want to go back are usually in need of more help than just a weekend off “normal life”. I just wanted to warn against trying to use a suicide attempt to get the holiday off in case anyone got that idea.

    I know that before I started to work on my autism I sometimes took things too literal without regarding all possible consequences. Suicide is too dangerous to both the individual and all around to try to “fake” an attempt for any reason, and if you feel that suicide is a viable option to get out of a life situation please reach out to family, friends or even a hotline or a “soul care giver” just to get it out in the open. To try and bear the pain alone does not work that well.

    grabyourmotherskeys,

    In all seriousness, a person I grew up with tends to enter into psychiatric care around time of year either voluntarily or not because its a time around their first “attempt” and is very hard for them (one reason I know what’s it’s like to visit a ward).

    Droechai, (edited )

    Ive been in a similar situation and it took me about 10 years of work to get mentally healthy, and I am now 36 and been working in the mental health sphere (both young people primarily with neurodivergence and elder people with a combination of physical and mental issues) for a few years where my experiences are a great asset.

    Your person might have it super rough, but each time he/she admits herself rather than being forced is a great step to mental health and it should be focused on with positive light. It is never too late to get better, and a misstep is only a failure if the person gives up, otherwise it’s just a hiccup and those happens.

    Remember to also take care of yourself and make sure to have healthy boundaries. A close person are never a professional mental health worker with responsibilities and need to remember that so they don’t drown. A person need to be in a good position to be able to help, or it will just devolve into another person feeling unwell.

    If you are interested in helping your person or anyone else with mental health, I recommend practicing enforcing personal boundaries as much as possible and when you (you as in anyone reading) feel secure and safe with your boundaries take a course. There might be MHFA courses or similar where you live.

    MHFA:

    www.firstaid.se/…/mental-health-first-aid-mhfa/

    grabyourmotherskeys, (edited )

    So this goes back decades and we are no longer in each others lives. I hope your advice helps other people.

    x4740N,
    @x4740N@lemmy.world avatar

    I wonder how many kidnappers have purchased from that seller

    spittingimage, to comicstrips in ‘END OF A WAR?’ [OC]
    @spittingimage@lemmy.world avatar

    No no no, we only wish it was dead, instead of being forced to watch Disney trot out its stale corpse again any time they think they sniff profit.

    Hatecoach, to comicstrips in 'MIMEFIELD' [OC]
    @Hatecoach@kbin.social avatar

    I have regularly mentioned to others how I'd like to have a mime field around my house to keep those pesky kids off my lawn. Now I have a visualization for those that don't understand!

    goat, to comicstrips in 'MIMEFIELD' [OC]

    how’d… he kill them?

    Rolando,

    I know, right? That’s what puts this over the top.

    wjrii,
    @wjrii@kbin.social avatar

    I guess... he mimed being a mine, but he has magic mime powers that make him really a mine if he mimes it?

    goat,
    PoastRotato,
    @PoastRotato@lemmy.world avatar

    He’s silent, but deadly

    CustardFist,
    @CustardFist@feddit.nl avatar

    Yes. Like a fever fart. Xط

    Lepsea,

    Never question about how the mime killed a group of people. They are already on the path of death from the time they saw those warning sign.

    REMEMBER FOLK NEVER TRUST WES

    Odelay42,

    He’s a landmime.

    Zink,

    I read it as the mime unleashing the horrible power of his voice, which he keeps hidden away from the world in times of peace.

    It’s like Alanis Morissette in Dogma.

    CustardFist,
    @CustardFist@feddit.nl avatar

    With the power of suggestion. Bر

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