Instead of focusing exclusively on how fast you can get to the finish, which may result in missteps along the way that slow you down, focus on moving smoothly accounting for variables that might make the journey more rough and doing what you can to plan for/avoid them. Making everything “smooth sailing” all the way to the finish line. There’s a dozen different interpretations that can be applied here, and it’s more or less an adaptation of “slow and steady wins the race” but it’s so broad that it’s generally true.
Sometimes, speed for the sake of speed is faster, period, but often speed for the sake of speed comes with compromises and issues along the way which may make the whole process slower over all. I’d rather go smoothly than quickly.
A good real-world example of this is stop and go traffic. Instead of going quickly to catch up to the person ahead of you, then stopping abruptly, if you instead go at a slow/steady rate, you will burn less fuel, consume less of you brake material, and over all have a more pleasant drive than if you’re constantly stopping and going. In addition, if everyone were to adhere to this in heavy traffic, then most traffic jams would very likely be less impactful on travel delays. You’d get through congestion easier and with less frustration, and very likely arrive sooner, feeling more calm and relaxed.
I enjoyed my computer science classes and had a talent for it so I became a software engineer. For the first 5 years of my career, I loved it and it was a core part of my identity. These days, it’s just a job that pays the bills. I’m still good at it and enjoy parts of it but every job is going to have something that annoys you. These days I define myself by my hobbies and friends which are funded by my job.
I had to recompile nvidia-bl every time the Linux kernel updated or my backlight control keys wouldn’t work. Put up with it for four years then installed Windows 10 when it came out.
I think a big part of it is that when we are young, all of these are new experiences to us. And as such, they carry a lot more emotion and stimulation.
As an adult, you’ve experienced many things. To some degree, your brain is likely acustomed to it.
Something that helps is breaking out of your routines and experiencing new things. I’ve heard our neural pathways described as the grooves that form on a hill when sledding. When you first slide down the hill, you’re making brand new grooves. Each trip is different and unique. But over time, trails get established and you end up using the same worn trails over and over.
Experiencing new, bespoke things is like breaking out of the trails and making a new one.
At least, that’s my understanding! I’m not a proffessional, just someone who can relate to what you’re describing :)
Not just cause of age, but people disregard feeling when they don’t find it comfortable with. People want to be treated in someway and don’t want you feel in other shape or form.
Which is another reason why we tame/shape our feelings abiding by the social norms.
I used to be over friendly in my 20s. That behaviour isn’t appreciated in professional relationships. I had to change my attitude towards people overtime and stop emphathizing with them, to a certain degree.
It is certainly a matter of environment and peers you had around you, not age.
Definitely agree. To your point on new things, I still feel that sense of awe and wonder when I go on trips to places I’ve never been, hear an awesome song for the first time, or even learn something new. It takes a certain level of motivation to feel those senses as you age (mid 30s here), and determination to seek those things out. I know I am lucky in that I’m at a stage in life where I have the resources to make some of these happen, but a lot of it is also forcing the free time to both seek out experiences and also be able to appreciate them.
I have to agree. I grew up in a tropical climate and moved to the northern part of the northern hemisphere several years ago. The first few winters I would look like some kind of child lost in the wonder of the beauty of snow falling because I’d never lived in a place that had snow. Sometimes I still have those moments.
I am not a doctor, but it could be depression. It is really difficult to not feel terrible sometimes given the state of the world right now.
I think one of the reasons people like having kids, is because they can see the world through there eyes. Everything you’ve already experienced numerous of times, they get to see for the first time and relay there joy to you. And you get to show them. Ignoring the depressing reality, painting a picture of the world like it once felt to you.
Yep. Each time you perform the same action, say the same words, think the same thoughts the connection of the neural pathways responsible for those things are strengthened. It is why depression and anxiety and other mental issues are so hard to reverse. It is possible though. I urge anyone who thinks they have depression to look up a book called “The Upward Spiral.” It is co-written by a neuroscientist and a psychologist and was really eye opening for me on the inner workings of the brain when it comes to depression and anxiety and has helped me at least start on a path to making myself better.
When I figure it out, I’ll let you know. It’ll have been literally 20 years this August since I graduated and I still don’t know what job I want. Got a big long list of jobs I’ve tried that I don’t want tho.
For everyone wondering whether or not they’re depressed, there is a tool doctors use called the Beck Depression Inventory (BDI), broadly available online as a PDF. If you score high talk to your doctor about it. Take good care of yourselves fellow lemmings.
Additionally, mindfulness sometimes gets a bad rep but it’s an awesome way to reconnect with your ‘feeling’ side. There are many apps, I found one that really works for me and it’s awesome.
Ehh…I disagree with this if we are specifically talking about what the OP is referring to.
When you’re a child, everything is new, making all of it exciting. For example…as a child, OP had only experienced winter a few times. As an adult, they’ve experienced countless winters. It becomes routine instead of new and so it fades into the background. And with adult obligations to worry about, we don’t have that worry free child mind that can drift off like that. It’s just part of getting older.
OP, sometimes it’s worth making a conscious decision to stop and take a moment to notice and experience your surroundings. There’s a thunderstorm outside? Grab a warm cup of coffee and just try to watch and listen for a moment. If possible, open a window (that won’t let rain in) or sit outside under an awning and just take in all of your senses. Go out for a walk without any music and without using your phone. Try to look at the trees and birds around you and take it in. Smell the air…has the grass been recently cut? Has it rained recently? Is there mud around? Is someone nearby grilling some food? Are there leaves on the ground? Try stepping on one. Do they crunch or are they soft and wet?
As a child, everything is new. As an adult, it’s routine and boring. But you can still manage to capture a small bit of this feeling back if you actively decide to stop from time to time and consciously try to take in your surroundings for a moment. Stop and try to feel all of your senses.
You can never make these feelings new again, but sometimes I find some satisfaction in watching and listening to the world around me.
Photography helped me with this, and I know not everyone is creative, but editing photos personally helped me find some wonder. You can do so much with perspective and change an image into something completely different with just the right modifications… Anyway. The world is shifty and we have all been in it too long and are Hella jaded. You just have to find novel things, even if it is harder for our brains to view that way, we can even trick our brains by doing mundane things in a new way. Like for instance instead of shaving in the shower or bathroom, go outside into nature, bring a mirror and shave there. I remember Michio Kaku saying something like this and the added bonus is it will make your life feel longer too, since it is adding novelty, your brain doesn’t just go into autopilot.
Some slang from York, UK that was common in my childhood:
Pushknacker - a bicycle, particularly a street bike. Best one on this list, tbh, it’s a great word.
Lagin - pronounced la-jin. Means rubbish. Like, “your pushknacker is lagin!”
Weeny - really, as in “that’s weeny lagin”
Chava - pronounced char-va, a derogatory term, to be honest I never had any idea what the actual meaning was but it’s an insult, as in “ya fuckin chava!”. I was confused when the word “chav” suddenly became a thing years later and I’ve always wondered if they are related or if it’s a coincidence.
Ding - what people would now call a chav, also used ad a general insult.
Dingraff - either the full for of ding, or an extension of it, no idea. General insult.
Trades are a good option if you like figuring things out and if owning your own business sounds good to you. There's tradeoffs to that, but we're always going to need more welders, plumbers, HVAC, electricians.
I had an average uninteresting job for 10 years. It was fine. But I still went back to school and changed career. Now I love it. Nothing wrong with trying something out, and nothing wrong with changing your mind.
When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back. Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down… with the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
Cave Johnson, Portal 2
Maybe not words to live by, but certainly a memorable quote.
All these science spheres are made of asbestos all the way. Keeps out the rats. Let us know if you feel a shortness of breath, a persistent dry cough, or your heart-stopping. Because that is not part of the test. That’s asbestos…Worst case scenario, you miss out on a few rounds of Canasta, plus you forwarded the cause of science by three centuries. I punch those numbers into a calculator, it makes a happy face.
My advice is just pick a broad direction and try to optimize for not limiting your options.
When I was 18 I liked math and science so I went to school for engineering. Did I want to be an engineer? I had no idea at the time. But I figured the first couple years were mostly math and science courses anyway so if something else caught my attention (computer science, chemistry, etc) I could narrow my focus when the time came.
If you don’t plan to go to college, that’s cool too. My advice in that case would still be not to limit yourself. Pick something in your broad interest area that challenges you and has a clear path of advancement (certifications, etc). If you don’t like it after a few years find something else. Just make sure with whatever you pick the growth path is pretty clear and at least somewhat in your control.
There’s a lot of advice here to work for money and that it’s a fool’s errand to “follow your dreams”. This is the same advice I got twenty years ago when I was 18. I followed it. That path led to money but I’m not sure it precisely led to a life of fulfillment or contentment. I often wish I’d spent more of my early twenties taking more risks and chasing more dreams. You’re only young once, and age accumulates life baggage (e.g., bills , mortgage , life partner, maybe kids) that discourages risk taking. Don’t forget to take a risk every now and then, you might end up surprising yourself.
I agree whole heartedly with this. The worst thing you can do is drift into your first job and give up. It does not matter where you start, or what direction you end up going. What matters is that your searching around trying to find your place and not just coasting hoping an amazing life will jump up and find you.
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