I clean mine very rarely because sticking my finger in there causes a sense of shock and tingling that longers after. The sensation makes me physically ill.
I’m much the same way. I still clean it often, but subconsciously. Occasionally I’ll realize what I’m doing and then get hit with the nausea and ill feeling. The worst part is the feeling begs me to go back to it and it takes a bit of effort to ignore.
That is exactly it, right down to having to fight the urge to repeat the thing that makes me feel sick! I would have never through that this would be something more than just my totally broken brain.
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