@Assman@sh.itjust.works
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Assman

@Assman@sh.itjust.works

Asses to asses, butts to butts

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Assman,
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Just fine dining and breathing, I’m afraid

Assman,
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H*ck yeah it is

Assman,
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Dumbass DNA. Why make a human capable of eating a baconator if doing so melts your body from the inside.

Assman,
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My ancestors came in on the sandwich

Assman,
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it’s been almost a decade

That can’t be. That’s not possible.

Assman,
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You’re going in my airing of grievances

Assman,
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I need a minute to process this

Assman, (edited )
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Top Six Hours is the superior sort

Assman,
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That doesn’t happen in my made up scenario where the world is good lol

Assman,
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MFer needs a super-axe-hacker. Then he could whack down four apple trees in one smacker.

Assman, (edited )
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Maybe Jesus invented it and forgot to write down the design? We’ll never know.

(Does this guy know that 1703 was the 18th century?)

Assman, (edited )
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Jesus take the reins

Assman,
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Bidet? I’m not some weirdo European. Anyway, time to smear dry paper on my ass crack and then go about my day.

Assman,
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lebanonusa.com

Assman, (edited )
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It’s a cute nickname for Gabe Newell

Which ironically also works with this

Assman,
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Fuck

Assman,
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No Sleep Til Brooklyn

Assman,
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Why is he carrying a big egg

Assman,
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I like them having guns. Makes it seem more fair.

Assman,
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Send me all ur cheese I’m doing this shit (actually I’m not doing shit)

Assman,
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I’m not addicted, flarping 14 times a day just works with my lifestyle

What's your favorite compilation album?

I’ve been really enjoying the Red Hot Organization’s “No Alternative” and “Dark was the Night” recently, both because they raised a lot of money for AIDS research and because they do a great job of capturing the 90s alternative sound and 00s indie sound respectively, and it’s got me thinking how much I love...

Assman,
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O Brother Where Art Thou? has a fantastic soundtrack. The Guardians of the Galaxy soundtracks are also quite good.

Assman,
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I’ll take corn over beans. Helps disguise the fact there is absolutely no geography or things to look at whatsoever in this state

Assman,
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Man here, I get asked by every employee I pass. Like I’m stubborn guys, I wanna struggle through it on my own.

Assman,
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It makes sense. What better time to experiment with makeup than when you’re alone for years.

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