I hadn’t thought about it in such a long time but it sprang to mind the second I saw that photo. And it was really late and my partner was asleep so I decided to share my weird, barely relevant, but kinda wholesome story with some strangers!
When I was 15 I dated an older boy who cheated on me with his adopted sister’s sister (who was 13 to his 18 years) because I wouldn’t have sex with him. Yes - all round awful. He and his sister-child girlfriend hounded me and my immediate family for months and months for some reason. We had to go to the police in the end. Many years later my nana confessed that she bumped into him in a shopping centre around that time and he pretended he didn’t know her. She chased him down and hit him upside the head with her heavily overloaded handbag while shouting “that’s for being such a little shit to my granddaughter!” Best part - the mates who were with him nearly pissed themselves laughing at him. I’ve often tried to envision the scene and it’s not unlike this photo. Love you nana.
I implement the first two and the last rules in all the communities I moderate. Everyone gets either a message or a comment if they break the rules/I remove their comment/I give them a warning. I also reply to the vast majority of mod reports made, explaining what action I’ve taken and why. All my communities have a one-warning-then-you’re-banned rule, but bans are rarely permanent.
I repeatedly state that I’m looking for moderators, that I welcome all constructive feedback and suggestions regarding the way the community is run and what the rules are. I make it clear I want the communities to be a community effort. I’ve never ever vetoed a suggestion someone’s made - I always offer to let the community decide. What happens? People complaining/criticising but never taking me up on the offer to hold a vote on whatever it is they don’t like. It’s like shouting in the wind and it’s exhausting.