ada

ada, 1 year ago

I came off my bike as a teenager and broke my funny bone! So it sticks out now and is easier to bump, and the weird tingly pain it causes if so much worse!

ada, 1 year ago

Transgender. Self deprecating humour, but your subject is a familiar feeling for so many of us :\

ada, 1 year ago

And now other queer folk are telling you the opposite. So you stop using it on the people who don’t like it, rather than arguing with them that they should like it because your friends do

ada, 1 year ago (edited 1 year ago)

They aren’t hateful

Yes, they are. They may have been taught to be that way, but however they got there, that’s how they ended up. People indoctrinated in to hate still spread hate. And it’s not the duty of the people targeted by that hate to educate the people oppressing them. They may choose to do so, but that’s their choice. There is no scenario in which the hateful is owed education by the people they’re hating on, even if the hateful person simply “doesn’t know any better”

Here’s an analogy for you, if you go into a forest and find a stick and hit some animal with the stick the animal will respond defensively. It started off scared but not it considers you a threat.

You’re the person with the stick in this analogy. You may have been told that carrying the stick is ok, and you may not have known better, but either way, you were the person walking in to the forest and hitting things, but the difference is, you expect the critters that you were hitting to tell you that it’s a bad thing, and you’re upset at the critters for not educating you, instead of being upset at the people who told you the stick was ok in the first place.

I’m adding on to this. Fucking look at MLK Jr. He encountered both hate and ignorance sometimes together and sometimes just ignorance. You never once saw him preach “go be an asshole”

Outreach isn’t a duty, it’s a choice, and unless you’re a dick, it’s not something you expect from every member of the vulnerable folk you’ve been hating on. And on top of that, if the actions of one or more people you personally don’t like impact your acceptance of an entire vulnerable minority group, then, well, you’ve still got work to do, because you’re still carrying that stick.

ada, 1 year ago

What you said, but I’m just shy of 50 and I run rather than cycle

ada, 1 year ago

One final point. My example above only works if there are no mods for the community on instance C.

If there is a community mod on instance C, that moderator can remove the post and the removal will federate, even when an admin removal on instance C will not (unless that admin is also a community mod for the instance B community)

ada, 1 year ago

Not quite. An account on instance C that has moderator privileges on a community hosted on instance B can’t take any direct actions against instance B content.

All that can do is remove it in instance C. However, because they’re a moderator, that removal will federate to instance B, which will remove it there, and then federate that removal to any instance that the post federated to originally.

ada, 1 year ago

Nah. They knowingly and deliberately house hate groups. They get actively defederated.

ada, 1 year ago

So in this instance, you’re posting to a group on lemmy.ml. The way groups work is that the instance the group is on boosts any posts made to that group to users who are subscribed to the group. Lemmy.ml does not have access to your block list, so boosts it based on its own federation list

Authorised fetch fixes this problem in the wider Fediverse, but Lemmy lacks a proper implementation of it at this point AFAIK

ada, 1 year ago

Well, the easiest example is that some people use “trans” to mean anyone who has physicslly started to transition, others consider someone to be trans when they decide to broadcast their new gender identity, and others consider them to have always been trans. The opinion on which one is correct is often quite strong.

Yep. People have strong feelings about their own journeys and identities. They’re welcome to do that. But when they start having strong feelings about other people’s journeys and identities, when they feel like that get to decide who isn’t and isn’t trans based on whatever criteria they particularly feel to be important, then they’re gatekeeping.

Those are the truscum and transmeds I want nothing to do with.

but that opens up the system for abuse by bad actors looking to false flag the trans community.

No it doesn’t. That’s just an excuse people use to post hoc validate their gatekeeping.

ada, 1 year ago

But opening up that definition

It’s not “opening up” a definition. It is the definition.

But opening up that definition means we need another way to refer to people who are physically transitioning, because there are meaningful differences in their experiences and needs.

No we don’t. Not everyone who undergoes medical transition undergoes the same journey. Some folk want surgery, some folk want HRT, some folk want both, some folk want one but not the other. Some folk want to micro dose, some folk want to replicate cis hormone levels.

There is no meaningful catch all term that summarises the needs of all of those folk. Trying to find a single term to capture that spectrum leads to a single narrative of what medical transition looks like, and makes it harder for people to transition on their own terms.

The language we need to talk about these things already exists, and is improving and changing with time. Nothing is gained by returning to the old days of binary terms and all or nothing language.

there’s nothing inherently gatekeeping about it;

Yes there is. It’s defining folk who medically transition as being a different class of trans folk. We’re not a different class. We all of us have unique needs, and the language should focus on those individual needs, whether they’re medical, social or other.

Defining “trans” to be narrower than the wider definition is only wrong because we’re attached to the current definition

This is exactly the sort of thing I was talking about in my original reply. I’m a binary trans woman, who medically transitioned with all of the bells and whistles, and so I get lumped in with people who genuinely believe statements like this.

I actively, loudly and strongly disagree with what you’ve said here, and I hate that people often assume I share beliefs like that. Defining the term trans to be narrower than it is is gatekeeping, end of story. It denies people the right to their own identity. That is inherently bad. People define for themselves, even in a hypothetical scenario where bad faith actors try and fuck it up

ada, 1 year ago

Why? What language are we lacking that would help if added, that wouldn’t just lead to more gatekeeping?

We already have the language to talk about various elements of social and medical transition.

ada, 1 year ago

There’s an upcoming change in Lemmy as a whole that will essentially get rid of the scores altogether

Any chance you can expand on that?

ada, 2 years ago

I mean, they’re not going to magically appear without people engaging…

ada, 2 years ago

This was the storyline for the old Jessica Alba show, a Dark Angel.

ada, 2 years ago

I don’t know about rule 1, but it’s off topic for this community, which could explain it

ada, 2 years ago

The good old you can always add more layers

This is the main reason I don’t like cold weather. I hate layers! :)

ada, 2 years ago

I can’t stand layers of clothing or stuffy indoor air, so both of those are worse than being hot for me

ada, 2 years ago

So honest question.

Lets say someone comes along and says “Woman are adult human females”. A trans person reports this and tells you that it’s a dog whistle, and the person saying that is a TERF.

What would you do?

ada, 2 years ago

My mum wasn’t racist. She’s the one who helped me see that racism isn’t just the way things are. But everyone else in my family, in my town, in the media… It was everywhere…

ada, 2 years ago

Do you ever get people assuming that you’re a trans woman?

ada, 2 years ago

When I’m running, yes I do. When I’m doing any other form of exercise? Not really.

But I really love feeling fit

ada, 2 years ago

It still won’t make sense when you’re sober, but you get used to it :)

ada, 2 years ago

I’m the admin :p

ada, 2 years ago

The reason I am on lemmy.world is that so far, they have basically blocked nothing

lemmy.world/instances