That is probably a part of why I do comment more here, I would see comment sections on reddit sometimes already with hundreds of comments and just felt like I was trying to slip into a convo that had already been well established or whatever, here I feel more likely to comment because the sections will be sparser and my comments will actually get replies from the users in the thread.
The only ‘tankies accusing’ anything I saw in the convo were people mentioning that “marriage is a patriarchal institution”, which I don’t see how that is calling you a transphobe even if you disagree. Someone did mention trans people don’t care about marriage because they are being murdered, maybe that is what you are referring to, it really didn’t come off to me like anyone was calling you a transphobe but maybe I’m wrong. I didn’t see anyone say that you couldn’t be married, or that people can’t enjoy having a marriage, to me that is separate from critique of marriage as a patriarchal institution. But yeah, I don’t know why anyone would defend a state for anything. That’s part of why I do feel the need to engage with more ‘state-friendly’ socialists, to figure out what about it seems necessary to them, or if there is some greater flaw with my anti-state belief.
I’m a queer anarchist and I’ve posted plenty on hexbear, is it possible you only notice the takes that cause you the most instinctive reaction? There is a more diverse array of views there than people on other instances realize I think. And I’ve seen more constructive discussion there than most places on the internet, including lemmy.world and other instances.
“Landlords are rich leeches” is still true because the vast majority of property in the US is not owned by hard working people who are investing their earnings owning a handful of properties at most, but by property companies and hedge funds.