Spicy food isn’t just “it’s so hot I can’t breathe”, it’s no different than eating something that’s bitter or sweet. Obviously, things that are super bitter or super sweet are equally displeasing for most people. Watered down lemon juice is very different from sugary lemon juice or raw lemon juice.
Spices and herbs affect the flavour of food, that’s why people use it. Same for condiments. For most, it’s not about a flaming/numbing effect because they don’t put big doses or use gimmicky sauces in the first place.