Survived a suicide attempt from a fentanyl and ketamine overdose. Life had gone to shit and for whatever reason that day (I can’t even remember exactly), enough was enough. I had bought the stuff in advance for this moment although I was using dissociatives pretty regularly. I was on a video chat with a friend (someone who was also suicidal and we’ve talked previously about how we wouldn’t interfere with each other’s attempts if it came to that. we were really bad for each other, but it was just nice to see another light in the darkness and knowing you weren’t alone. we ultimately made each other much worse off). But anyways, she feel asleep, it was during that moment when I guess I went for it. Took all the fentanyl and ketamine I had, and was pretty much blacked out before realizing it.
Guess I walked back to the couch where she was still sleeping on the video call and I lost conscious there. Next thing I know I feel my body violently being shaken and then suddenly I’m in the ER. I couldn’t talk at all and couldn’t move anything from the neck down. that lasted several days and I slowly got motor control back. Took my legs the longest and had to do a bunch of testing.
Once they found out it was a suicide attempt I was sectioned and unable to do anything if my own accord for like the next month. I was sent to some facility specifically for people who have made suicide attempts and also had drug abuse issues. Was there for a few weeks before I was able to transfer into an outpatient program for the same thing.
I guess what had happened initially was that when I passed out I was in view of the camera, so when my friend woke up she was trying to talk l with me, realized something was wrong and then what had happened, and then she was able to get an ambulance. They got there and revived me and then that’s just a little before I woke up in the hospital. It at all just so confusing, and I think I’ll always be bitter towards that friend that called the ambulance.
Things were bad leading up to that point, but they’d get generally so much worse afterwards. None of those feelings went away and I’ve just learned to mask it for now because I’m just exhausted with everyone I know feeling like they need to be so involved with my life. My friend who saved me from attempt ended up taking her own life the next year. In a way I’m pretty envious I think
thanks dude. I’ve got my dog that is more important to me than anything else in the world, and I absolutely refuse to leave him by himself no matter how bad things might be for me. I appreciate the words though
I was carrying some HVAC equipment down some stairs last year when I accidentally slip a little and the equipment cut my wrist wide open and blood started rushing out like crazy and my hand went numb instant. I immediately put pressure on my wrist to stop the bleeding and my brother drove me to the hospital. That ride there was so intense, I genuinely felt like i might bleed to death, or even have to lose my hand. It was so surreal, I kept thinking how horrible my family, friends, and my girlfriend of 5 years would feel if I died. In that moment I realized they’re what matters. My job didn’t matter, my social media accounts didn’t matter, my materialistic items I owned didn’t matter. Just the people who I love. After arriving the doctors did a great job at assuring me I’d be fine. I had surgery 2 days later, however, I couldn’t move my wrist or hands for a while. Even now, about 14 months later, half my hand still feels mostly numb all the time, it’s super sensitive, the scar is massive and hasn’t fully healed, and I can’t close my pinky finger no matter how hard I try. It definitely sucked a lot, mostly because I was in between jobs because I had was moving, so I couldn’t work and my girlfriend had to cover so much expenses and guilt took over me like crazy and I felt so worthless. Then I felt even worse cause it caused me to gain so much weight, I even started feeling suicidal for a bit. I’ve learned to accept it though and my life is pretty much back to normal. I wasn’t able to do so many simple things like wear pants with buttons, tie my shoes, using toilet paper was a struggle, driving was hard, locking my door was almost impossible because I needed my other hand to pull my door to get it to lock. Late last year I got a job in a retail store and have since gotten 2 promotions and making the most money I’ve ever made in my life. Around that time I also started eating healthier and I’m down 60 pounds! I’m glad I beat the suicidal thoughts and kept going. Life is awesome.
I had a psychotic break. Of course, I did not know I had developed a mental illness. I thought the Russian mafia was coming to kill me and my family. That made for a very crazy year before I finally got treatment.
Did something trigger the psychotic break? Did you previously have interest in the Russian mafia that led to you believing it was that specific organization coming after you? I’m glad you were able to get help and treatment!
The shrink said it was triggered by stress at work. I was also on ADHD medication which can contribute but they didn’t think it was the cause or anything.
No, no interest in the Russian mafia but the guy who lived in the apartment below me where I first heard the voices was named Wlad so that’s where my mind went I guess.
We had a big flood where I live about 10 years ago. Massive amounts of water and whole basements of almost all the homes completely went under water for days. I worked for a clean up crew that summer cleaning up alot of the damage. I was 18 and needed a job and thought it would be a good experience. I was just hired as a temp by a restoration company through a hiring agency though and I found out almost everyone I was working with was the same. The people supervising us, some were not much older than me and had no idea how to run this operation. One day we are in the basement of a large commercial building. Young supervisor tells me and 3 other temps to haul out a heavy washing machine that needs to go to the main level. Only way out was a massive wood staircase that went straight up and contained probably 50 steps. This was an industrial washing machine so it weighed probably a couple hundred pounds. We get it onto a dolly and begin hauling it up the stairs. I am at the top pulling the dolly with another guy while the two others are at the bottom pushing. Thing is so heavy we have to pull it in spurts. So “1…2…3…” then we all move it up one step. We get all the way to the top and only have two more steps. Now remember when I said these basements were fully under water? That was also the case here. The staircase had been under water for days and was now very weak. So we pull the machine up to the step before the landing. As we pull it, me and the guy beside me step onto the landing. The machine goes onto the last step and the connection between the staircase and the landing at the top of the stairs breaks. Whole staircase falls and the two guys below fall with it. Luckily when it all hits the ground, the machine rolls away from the guys and they are hurt, but not seriously. Everyone comes rushing over because the sound is deafening, and me and the other guy are still standing at the top of the landing looking down at everyone. Had we not stepped onto the landing at the moment we did, we would have fallen with the stairs and the machine would have rolled ontop of us. Likely killing or permanently injuring us. It’s amazing how close I was to likely death. We were pulled aside by the safety guy for the crew. I saw him later reaming out the young guy that was supervising us and told us to take the machine up the stairs. I’m pretty sure he was fired that day and he looked so distraught. In hindsight I don’t blame him as he should never have been in that position and it was more a reflection on the bad business practices of the restoration company hiring temps and unqualified supervisors.
Saw a 2 person banner plane take off and then instantly crash into a bay while living in florida. Was smoking weed on the beach playing guitar when it happened. I moved closer to confirm it because of the crazy disbelief I felt and ran into a coworker who saw it aswell
Got fucked up and lifted a rugby post out of the ground. The whole thing fell down passing about an inch from my head. As with most of the danger in my teenage years it was self inflicted lol
October 2005 asked out repeatedly by gay programmer. Matthew Shepard, James Byrd Swatter hate crime poisoned to 350 pounds by northwell monopoly employee mother, republican father. Since converting to moderate Islam August 2013 car kidnapped, threatened by knife, 2016-2019 abilify in food, trespassed against 4th Amendment and Fair Housing Act.
September 1, 2022 my ex’s not a Muslim general ordered civilized “revenge” for 5 genocidal murders paid by uncle sam. parents stole passport, said they’re both mafia and I’m somehow in a gang for exercising alone. Then he locked my dog and false police reported with no probable cause investigation of danger to self or others. Eyes spasming, gained 30 lbs.
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